[ cheers and applause and now, Seth Meyers Seth good evening. Im seth meyers. This is late night. We hope youre doing well tonight. And now if you dont mind, were gonna get to the news. After the white house announced last week that the construction will resume on the border wall, President Biden told reporters, quote, i was told that i had no choice oh, man, i have a bad feeling were going to find out this was all the work of one really good telemarketer [ laughter ] they said if i build a border wall i get three months of spectrum internet. I had to do it. according to a new analysis, over one third of Supreme Court decisions are decided unanimously. The other two thirds are decided by whoever took Clarence Thomas on his last vacation [ laughter ] the irs last week placed a lien on a florida property owned by Rudy Giuliani. Im guessing the haunted mansion . [ laughter ] its all yours. Those ghosts wont let me sleep. [ laughter ] after leaving the white house, former President Trump reportedly shared details about the capabilities of u. S. Nuclear submarines with an australian billionaire, including how close they can sail to russian vessels without being detected said trump, oh, come on im not an idiot i told putin first. [ laughter ] House Republicans reportedly held a phones off, closed door meeting today to discuss the speakership. And when they turned their phones back on, matt gaetz had three more venmo requests. [ laughter ] new York Governor Kathy Hochul ordered the state Liquor Authority to allow bars to serve alcohol as early as 8 00 a. M. Yesterday for the Buffalo Bills game played in london. Not only that, during the giants game, she temporarily legalized heroin [ laughter ] the Genetic Testing Company 23 and me announced last week that hackers stole personal data from their data base authorities describe the suspect as 62 european and 38 east asian and native american. [ laughter ] georgia is said to become the first state in the country to offer medical marijuana at pharmacies so, youll finally have a use for that giant receipt [ laughter ] burger king has announced it will offer a new side that is half french fries, half onion rings. Wow, the only way you could get that before was to order onion rings. [ laughter ] best joke of the day its all a little bit still really good show, but its all a little bit downhill after the onion rings. [ laughter ] and finally, google cloud today announced a new Artificial Intelligence powered search function for doctors because nothing inspires confidence in your doctor quite like hearing, lets google it. [ laughter ] and that was the monologue, everybody. [ cheers and applause were off and running. It is a never easy to make a transition like this but i do want to address, im sure you all are aware of the atrocities that were committed against israel this weekend. They were monstrous and horrific acts of violence i will not pretend to have any answers as to how to respond to a crisis like this i will only say that in the moments when we are confronted with such evil, inhumane acts, we are most at risk of losing our own humanity when we are justifiably blind with rage and sadness, we can make choices that will have massive, irrevocable impacts on the lives of our fellow man. It requires the absolute best of us, to think clearly in times like this. And i hope with all my heart the best of us can emerge in this time of unthinkable loss thank you, everybody, for bearing with me to say that. [ applause ] i am happy to tell you we have a fantastic show for you tonight she is an emmynominated comedian she is an author, shes an aplus plus guest on our show, amy sedaris is back, everybody [ cheers and applause can it get better . It can the one, the only, colin quinn is also joining us [ cheers and applause they are two of our absolute favorites. Also, a quick podcast plug during the writers strike, my brother and i started a podcast called family trips with the meyers brothers. We interviewed guests about the trips they took as kids with their families and the biggest take away so far is people my age almost never wore seat belts. [ laughter ] just a lot of large groups of children in the backseats of station wagons just like sliding around very little thought put to safety in general. It was a wild time in the 70s [ light laughter ] any way, do check out family trips wherever you get your podcasts and now moving on, donald trump has endorsed one of the most promaga members of the Republican Party, ohio congressman jim jordan, to be the next speaker of the house. Which could put one of the most prominent supporters of the coup attempt on january 6th in charge of the chamber for more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause seth when last we left the House Republican caucus, several of them were organizing an effort to draft donald trump himself to be the next speaker which is possible since technically the speaker does not have to be a member of congress. Apparently doesnt even need to be a sentient human being. It could be one of those air dancers outside car dealerships. [ laughter ] republicans would probably love that because it has the same hand movements as donald trump [ laughter ] and apparently, trump is serious about at least considering a bid to become speaker. Politico reported last week that trump is considering a visit to the capitol where hes open to pitching himself as a speaker candidate. Should he even be allowed back in the capitol based on what happened the last time he was there . I mean, im on a year ban from vrbo because some guy said i rented his place after i rented his place, the q went missing from the scrabble game but trump, trump foments an insurrection and is allowed to come and go as he pleases. Also, the q was already missing, dude [ laughter ] but i guess trump is allowed back in fact, his best bud sean hannity claimed on air last week that sources were telling him trump was open to the idea of becoming speaker. Now again, keep in mind as you watch this clip, hannity isnt just a pundit who interviews trump. Hes appeared on stage with trump at rallies, and during trumps presidency, the two reportedly talked on a near nightly basis before bedtime according to the new york magazine, on the phone, hannity and trump alternate between the witch hunt and gabbing like old girlfriends about media and gossip and whose show sucks and whos getting killed in the ratings and whos winning and sports and kanye west, all of it sprinkled with a staccato [ bleep [ bleep [ bleep [ laughter ] so, trump and hannity arent just media allies. Theyre best buds, which is context for this clip in which hannity claims sources were telling him, trump was open to becoming speaker sources telling me at this hour some House Republicans have been in contact with and have started an effort to draft former President Donald Trump to be the next speaker. And i have been told that President Trump might be open to helping the Republican Party, at least in the short term, if necessary. Seth so, the source was trump. Whenever you hear sean hannity float Something Like that on television, its become something donald trump told him to say or the very least its something trump wants to hear. At this point, i wouldnt be surprised if trump was writing the fox news chyrons live in realtime via voice to text source big strong man tears streaming down face, misses trump. Can i get please . What do you mean its still recording . [ laughter ] and trump himself essentially confirmed the veracity of this report when he was asked about the possibility of becoming speaker last week at his fraud trial in the Manhattan Court a lot of people have been calling me about speaker all i can say is well do whatever is best for the country and for the Republican Party would you take the job . Would you take the job we have some great, great people would you take the job . A lot of people have asked me about it were leading by 50 points for president. You know, my focus is totally on that if i can help them during the process, i would do it seth trump will always say hes considering something when you first ask him about it the reporter could stand up at a press conference and say, mr. President , sources are telling us youre considering jumping into the gorilla enclosure at the bronx zoo and challenging the largest ape to a wrestling match in order to subdue him, claim his territory, and become king of the primates. And trump would say, were looking very strongly at it. Im certainly [ laughter ] im certainly getting a lot of calls saying youre the only one who can defeat mongo. [ light laughter ] but as random and insane as this idea sounds, it apparently did not come out of nowhere. Over the weekend, abc news reported that trump actually maneuvered behind the scenes to become speaker of the house back in january and apparently, the reason he did that was because he was angry he wasnt getting more votes during the initial rounds of voting. Sources tell abc news former President Trump secretly plotted to be elected speaker of the house in january while he was publicly supporting now former speaker Kevin Mccarthys bid publicly donald trump had endorsed Kevin Mccarthy for speaker. But what ive learned is that when trump saw matt gaetz step up on the seventh ballot back in january and vote for donald trump for speaker and then he saw all the cable networks, you know, relay the vote count and it was only a single vote for trump. You know, 212 votes for hakeem jeffries, 200 for Kevin Mccarthy, some others had a handful of votes and then only 1 for donald trump, trump became angry and he actually reached out, contacted gaetz, made his views known within a small circle of republicans that the only reason he only got one vote is that nobody bothered to nominate him. And so, people didnt know they could vote for him and at that point he made it clear that he wanted matt gaetz to nominate him for speaker of the house. Seth okay. So just to recap, trump who is publicly supporting now former speaker Kevin Mccarthy but he was also mad in the seventh round of voting. He only got one vote for speaker. Im sure when he saw this, his text to hannity looked like this [ laughter ] so, trump then asked congressman matt gaetz to officially nominate him for speaker assuming this meant the votes would start pouring in for him and gaetz did that he stood up, made a big speech and nominated donald trump to be speaker of the house so, what happened after gaetz nominated him . Did trump get 100 votes for speaker, 200 votes how close did he come . When that speech was over, they called for the roll and once again did another round of voting and once again, donald trump got a single vote for speaker of the house. [ laughter ] seth did he call gaetz again . I think this time, when you nominate say, im being serious, you guys. [ laughter ] this isnt some dumb joke. It was so bad that night on hannity, the chyron said, actually, one vote is a very good number. Some are saying the best number. Can you bring me more ketchup for my steak still recording again . [ laughter ] so, trumps last attempt to get votes for speaker went badly, which must be why hes now abandoned this latest bid for the job. Instead, he endorsed farright extremist jim jordan, perhaps the most promaga member of the house gop caucus and one of the key players in the attempt to overturn the election on january 6th. You might remember jordan as the guy who would routinely show up to hearings in the house that were supposed to be investigating the trump administration, but would instead talk really fast and say totally incoherent bull [ bleep ] like this. James comey, director, fired. Andy mccabe, deputy director, fired. Lied three times under oath, under investigation, right as we speak. Jim baker, fbi counsel, demoted and then left. Currently under investigation by the u. S. Attorneys office in connecticut. Lisa page, demoted then left ambassador taylor recalls that mr. Morrison told ambassador taylor that i told mr. Morrison that i conveyed this message to mr. Yermak on september 1st, 2019 in connection with Vice President pences visti to warsaw seth he sounds like an auctioneer with a head injury. [ laughter ] just repeating all the unhinged buzzwords you hear on fox news without any of the content its like at thanksgiving dinner, everyone in your family had a time limit to speak. Uncle jerry, what are you thankful for . Well, i guess im thankful for my health and continued efforts to stop trans woke benghazi white water china laptop hunter emails tan suit. [ laughter ] and it makes sense that jordan would spew random fox news talking points, because he is far and away the most popular republican congressman on fox news since august 2017, foxs weekday programs have interviewed jordan more times than any other sitting member of congress the Ohio Republican appeared at least 565 times on foxs programming over that period 565 times . I dont even think ive appeared on this show [ laughter ] 565 times since 2017. In fairness, we did have that stretch where i was replaced by a guest host who was that again oh, damn it. [ laughter ] hes everywhere. On the bright side, it only took him about 90 seconds to get through a closer look. [ laughter ] and when he does go on fox news, it wont surprise you to learn he doesnt make all that much sense. Like, when he said this over the weekend about his bid to become speaker. The American People right now, maria, i think they are so thirsty for leadership and i dont think theyre seeing it from the white house. I dont think theyre getting from the senate. Theyre hungry for leadership. Seth oh, theyre thirsty and hungry maria, the American People are thirsty for leadership theyre hungry for leadership. And dare i say it horny for leadership dont take it from me. [ laughter ] take it from the audience at the beetlejuice musical. [ laughter ] but by far the most dangerous thing about jordan, is that he is arguably the most prominent supporter in congress of Donald Trumps attempt to overturn the 2020 election he was intimately involved in the planning of trumps coup attempt and has flat out refused requests to provide more information about his involvment jim jordan scored former President Trumps endorsement early this morning which should no come as no surprise here is jordan in harrisburg, pennsylvania, attending a stop the steal rally two days after election day in the weeks and months after that, jordan went on various rightwing Media Outlets where he attempted to sew distrust in the 2020 election and made baseless claims of election fraud. Jordans name appears throughout the bipartisan report from the House Select Committee investigating january 6th. The report says that jordan attended numerous postelection meetings with senior white house officials and Rudy Giuliani, discussing how to challenge the Election Results seth i dont know whats more shocking that people still have meetings with Rudy Giuliani or that Rudy Giuliani made it to the meeting. [ laughter ] when he was told to meet with jim jordan, rudy probably thought he was meeting in a gymnasium with Michael Jordan. [ laughter ] hey, mike, youve always been my favorite baseball player. Go white sox. [ laughter ] a lot of time was spent today on what would rudy say to Michael Jordan in a gym. [ laughter ] trump endorsing jordan is a perfect encapsulation of where the gop is at right now. A vote for jordan as speaker is essentially a vote for trump in his efforts to overturn american democracy. Even if jim jordan is nominally in charge of the house, hes just going to be following trumps orders trump is still the leader of the Republican Party and jordan is fully devoted to him so, i guess you could say jordan is the one whos thirsty for leadership. Seth this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause seth well be right back with amy sedaris, everybody. [ cheers and applause announcer for more of seths closer looks be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. Waiting for a family. Waiting to be loved. Older and specialneeds shelter dogs wait the longest to find loving people. Thats why subaru created National Make a dogs day to help these special underdogs never feel left behind again. Subaru. More than a car company. Who says you cant go for bold without going broke. Get the brands you want, the prices you want, whenever you want. Tj maxx where you can always afford to be you to the maxx. Mr. Clean magic eraser powers through tough messes. 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Youre not from around here, so you dont know the back roads. I dont want to be late for the party. Im gonna save us five minutes. Some people just know what road to take. Gps youre on the fastest route. Those are the people who know safe drivers save 40 with allstate. [ cheers and applause seth give it up for the fantastic 8g band, everybody sitting in on drums this week, hes a Los Angelesbased musician who worked with ciara, j. Lo and snarky puppy just to name a few check him out on tour all over europe next month with jazz bassist king aglick, whose latest album real life is available now, greg clark jr. , is here everybody. [ cheers and applause thanks for being with us, greg our first guest tonight is an emmy nominated performer and best selling author, please welcome back to the show, our friend, amy sedaris. [ cheers and applause seth welcome back wow [ cheers and applause hi, seth seth you look fantastic as always thats nice seth what a wonderful choice you made your sartorial style unrivalled. Well, i was a little limited on what i could wear because john early is staying seth the fantastic john early the wonderful comedian yes well, i own the apartment above me and hes staying there, overstaying his visit for like two weeks. [ laughter ] but all my getting ready dresses are up there seth okay. Because i didnt want to go up there when someone is staying up there because then i see unmade bed seth yeah. Underpants. Seth oh, so youre not going out of respect for them, you dont want to spin yourself out. I dont want to spin myself out and see an extra pair of shoes that dont belong to him so any way, this is what i had but i love this dress. Seth so this isnt even in your first choice line of dresses. No. Ive had this for five years and never washed it. Chew chew chew [ laughter ] seth how dare you. Hell text me messages and say i crawled down the fire escape and watched you sleep last night [ laughter ] seth thats what your upstairs yes thats what john early told me and hes like, when i told the doorman i was leaving, they burst into tears. [ laughter ] then ill run into him on the street and its 1 00 p. M. In the afternoon. And hes like, i just woke up. And im like, john, what is going on . Hes pan frying croissants up there. Seth oh, my god. But hes a good guest seth i dont know. It doesnt sound like hes a good guest [ light laughter ] seth he is he is. He is. Seth now, i like doing a check in every time youre here. Okay. Seth about your deer rabbit. Tina bunny. Seth tina bunny. Yes seth now, tina bunny is a male rabbit. Uhhuh. Seth but you have had the first time you were on the show nine years ago, we discussed tina i brought tina home that night, and then, i was freaking out that i made a mistake. This is my third rabbit. They told me it was a girl, and then four years later, they told me it was a boy. Seth okay. Yeah. Seth so you consider yourself somewhat of an expert on rabbits i am an expert. I have a badge i go to peoples houses. I educate them seth but it took you four years to know that tina was a boy. Its tough. But yeah, they were trying to insert a catheter and they said, amy, this is a boy bunny. [ laughter ] seth i will say, you cannot tell from the photo. Look at him he has chewed a few things seth he has chewed a few things but that is his right as a rabbit yes seth getting up there in age. How long does a rabbit go . Well, my last rabbit lived to be 12, which is old for a bunny. Tina is 10 but all of a sudden out of nowhere, he started wetting my bed. Peeing in my bed for i dont know why i think its behavioral, because seth you dont think its age . No, because i have experience with senior bunnies. And i think his kidneys are fine but so i ordered i went to a Surgical Supply store and i ordered a bunch of those reusable medical bed pads. Seth yeah. Yeah, okay but they arrived at my Apartment Building unwrapped in just like saran that said amy sedaris apartment 4c so everyone in my building thinks im wetting my bed easily [ laughter ] because ill be doing the laundry room folding them. But any way, he stopped peeing in my bed. Now he just goes he just leaves little droppings. They look like pepper corns. Its no big deal [ laughter ] so i safety pin if you give them a pad thats 48 by 48, that will cover a queen size bed. Theyre hard to find and so, i safety pinned it on top of my, you know, bedspread so in case it happens. It happens between 2 30 and 3 00 in the morning. Seth wow yeah. Seth hes just really dialed into that one certain window yeah. I dont know why i mean, i went through during the strike, you know, i went through a George Michael hole, im post hole now. Seth okay. George michael the singer . Yeah. The wham documentary that i got obsessed with that, then i got obsessed with him maybe i was so obsessed with it that i was pulling focus from my attention with tina. Maybe. Seth okay. And he was just getting even. Seth i see my acupuncturist. Seth youre saying that maybe tina was wetting the bed on purpose because you were too into George Michael. Maybe, maybe. [ laughter ] and then my acupuncturist said, well, did you ask tina . Did you talk to tina . And im like yes. And hes like, what did tina say . And i was like, nothing. And i havent been back to that acupuncturist since. [ laughter ] seth yeah, it doesnt seem like an acupuncturist place to say. [ laughter ] oh, my god. Seth did you buy or are you renting the apartment next door to yours okay. So then another apartment opened up in my building right next door and i thought, well, this would be a good investment seth sure. So i just use it as a storage unit so i keep my hay in there, luggage, and petticoats. Seth okay. But i do have wifi seth well, thats great, yeah fudge pot, fudge pot is the name of my wifi seth youre giving away your wifi. Youre not giving out the password, just the name of it. Fudge pot and then do your best. Right seth small amount of hay i guess its good for you to say theres wifi because i think if you walked into an apartment full of hay, you might think its an amish person [ laughter ] and there might not be wifi or a need for wifi it reeks of goats, trust me but i cant imagine i mean, to combine my apartment its crazy to have three apartments in one building and not attached seth yeah. But the idea of having to put a hole in my wall. Seth yeah. You know, since my husband died i dont have anybody who can take care of that stuff for me [ laughter ] i dont want to think about knobs and wallpaper. Seth who wants to think about knobs and wallpaper. But youre living your best life knobs and wallpaper is just going to slow you down its crazy. Seth now, when your neighbors see giant boxes of hay getting delivered, do you think they look at that the same way they look at the pee pads . [ laughter ] that im a stoner they probably think its just weed coming out of my house. [ laughter ] big boxes of weed. Seth giant seethrough plastic bags of hay. You said you had goats before seth i never had a goat. My fatherinlaw had a goat. Same thing. Seth yeah, no. Really . Seth yeah, it was part of my dowry that i inherited he was like, will you take my daughters hand . Im like, not without a goat i always wanted a goat. Seth yeah, i dont think you do i know. Trust seth you know, he misses his goat a great deal and talks about it lovingly. I did not find the goat had a lot of charisma. What was the goats name . Seth raisin. [ laughter ] thats cute not bad seth based on what they leave everywhere yeah. Seth not a bad peppercorn would be a good name. Peppercorn or capers. Its no big deal seth capers would be a really funny name for a goat [ light laughter ] oh, yeah. Capers, doorbell seth capers would be a great name for a kids book about a goat who pulled crimes oh, yes oh, yes seth capers the goat yes seth and he would be a goat burglar. A cat burglar but you would, like, definitely hear them i would buy that book seth all right, great. Lets work on it together. I have a bunch more questions for you. Well be right back with more with amy sedaris [ cheers and applause ever since she was a little ki, all maria wanted to do was bak. Im maria alvarez, owner of marias cakes. And im axel, proud to be her state farm agent. Her baking superpowers have brought sweetness to our community. I make delicious cakes to make special occasions even better. Maria doesnt just bake; she also creates opportunities. Small businesses like marias, open doors for communities to thrive. Support your community. Support small business. Is someone trying to steal your butterfinger this halloween . Call the bfi. No one lays a finger on your butterfinger. When the murrays discovered gain scent beads, they fell in love with the irresistible scent. Huh, huh, so did their dog roger. Gain scent beads keep even the stinkiest stuff smelling fresh. all aboard ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay youre welcome, america. Shopify helps you sell at every stage of your business. So you can sell it online, take it in person and go big. Like a million orders big. Whatever the stage, businesses that grow grow with shopify. whimsical music the lor barista coffee and espresso system. Now brewing peets coffee. [ cheers and applause seth welcome back to late night. Were here with amy sedaris. Its fall in new york city its a very special, wonderful time you are someone who loves to celebrate holidays all the holidays yes, and halloween is approaching us seth and how do you go about celebrating halloween . Well, ive got kids out in maplewood. And every year, i dress up like a witch. I sit in a rocking chair and i do my witch cackle which ill do for you right now. Its loud. Seth thats the one [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause thank you seth you know, you know how loud it is you told me it would be loud and it still surprised me. Its loud you can hear me through the neighborhoods. Seth you just sit there over the course of the day while people come by for candy yes sometimes theyre not even home. Got kids and any way, last year i had an incident theres something about six and 7yearold girls they just push my buttons seth okay. Theres something about them. They would come up to me and be like, youre not a real witch youre just someone acting like a witch. Seth yeah. Or like i want to sit in the rocking chair. Or, you know and the guys would be like, nice hat. I like your shoes. Thats a great laugh. And so, you know i went up to the boys and i said, what is it with these girls . And they were like, yeah, i know. So i was driving a big wedge between them, right . [ laughter ] seth thats exactly what a witch would do yes i was brewing up some trouble. Seth its a very modern witch to instead of spells, just use gossip and small talk [ light laughter ] the guys were cute. So then the next day, i saw them at a party and i saw the girls, but they didnt recognize me because i was dressed up as myself so it was just interesting to see them theyre like little karens seth yeah. That age group. They really are. I just i dont know what it is i just cant click with that age group. Seth so, my boys are like five and seven and sometimes well go to barbecues and my wife will be like, look at all the kids. And if its more girls than boys, shell be like, go play with them. Im like, you dont have to do that. [ light laughter ] i feel like theres a lot of negative energy over there there is. Steve lets wait until they age out of that a year or two from now go rub elbows but ill do it again this year it will be fun seth what was your what was halloween like growing up for you . I always dress as a hobo. Seth okay. I dress like a hobo seth yeah. In the south sometimes, lonely women would invite you into their home and they would make you sit down and have pumpkin pie with them. Seth uhhuh. Youre just like, lady i got theres candy i got to get out there. [ light laughter ] and then they just sit you down and have long, drawn out conversations with pumpkin pie [ laughter ] really the difference between a pumpkin pie and a yam pie, really . Fascinating. Seth they dont realize like this is youre basically building an investment portfolio during halloween you dont want any candy you have to consume on the spot. No, right seth youre trying to build a portfolio exactly for trading seth pumpkin pie is almost worth two hershey bars exactly seth not in my world its the timing its the moment. Im not looking for a moment other than ding dong candy go. Right . But i like it. But with god kids, otherwise i wouldnt dress up, yeah. Seth its very nice of you to do that for them. Ill say. [ laughter ] i mean it is yesterday, we shot a Halloween Movie and like an idiot, rather than, you know any way. I threw myself down some stairs. Seth okay. For your god kids . Yeah. Just to get a laugh. But i have a cane, which you know i got a cane for christmas. Seth so who gave you a cane for christmas . My brothers boyfriend hugh gave me a cane from cane galore. And they keep sending me new tips im not wearing down tips on a cane now all i see are canes. Seth now, did you need a cane you didnt need a cane no. But i love a cane. And i have a lot of prop my dream is to have my own prop house. Seth right and when people come over to my apartment, we play. So Justin Theroux came over and i said, okay pretend youre jeremy irons and youre coming in my apartment and you spot the cane from across the room and its just the cane you need for your, you know, character. So ill pick it up and put the weight in his hand and bounce it around and ill do a monologue its so much fun seth that is great canes are a blast but yesterday, i needed one because i threw myself down the stairs, so it wasnt so funny. [ light laughter ] but i dont like the adjustable ones you get in pharmacies with the claw seth yeah, yeah. I like the good old fashion wooden one but to measure, you need to stand up straight and measure from the wrist down and chop off the bottom which is a fun thing to ask somebody. You know, what is this you have to guess that its the bottom of a cane and then you put the tip back on. [ light laughter ] seth wait. When you go to the cane shop, they basically they come out and test you for the cane . Yeah, from your wrist down. Seth and then if its a little too long, do they go like, well take it in the back and cut the end off. Or theyll cut it in front of you. Seth oh wow. Theyll show the trade secret. Yeah. Seth its just a saw its a lovely cane and what a thoughtful gift and if anybody out there is, you know when mothers day rolls around, think about a cane its a great gift you always need one. Seth you always need one yeah, you always need a cane. Seth especially for play acting with guests yeah. Seth what a delight to have you here thanks for having me. Seth its always a best time you guys, that is amy sedaris. 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Theres nothing on my skin and that means everything nothing is everything nows the time. Ask your doctor about skyrizi, the 1 dermatologistprescribed biologic in psoriasis. Learn how abbvie could help you save. [ cheers and applause seth our next guest is a very funny comedian, actor and author you can see him on the road touring around the country for Ticket Information go to colinquinn. Com please welcome back to the show, our very good friend, colin quinn, everybody [ cheers and applause seth welcome back. You are one of our modern historians whoa. Seth of this great city. Yes seth you know a lot about new york city and you have a great new youre coming in hot by the way. Seth im coming in hot [ light laughter ] i want youve been on already. Youve been on already i just got out here. And by the way, before we start, not to break the momentum, i dont like this. Seth okay. The old age of a nice cup seth yeah. Look at this. Seth yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry. Jesus [ laughter ] seth you really because it makes me look cheap now that im drinking it the crowd doesnt know theyll be like, look at that chiseler people on tv. Its all about perception, you know what i mean, folks . [ laughter ] i like the work crowd working comedy is big now so i try to work the crowd on tv [ laughter and applause seth great that should be your new catch phrase as a comedian, isnt like an actual catch phrase, but after your punch lines you take a sip from a tiny thing of water. [ laughter ] yeah. Seth i gave them the exact right amount of time to laugh, yeah yeah. It might look creepy but youre right. Seth just tiny sips. Yeah, just seth and the whole thing is he makes it you know, he makes it last the whole hour [ laughter ] tiny little sips you have i was setting you up yes, i know seth i know. You have this new show called you were like, hey. Seth hey. You dont want to talk about block by block, no problem you have a youtube show called block by block where youre going to different neighborhoods in new york city yeah. Seth and youre talking about the history, what makes them unique. Yes seth youve done yorkville, youve done Hells Kitchen yeah. Seth when you were growing up in new york, did different neighborhoods have different reputations that were interesting to you oh, sure. But you cant discuss those now. They were all based on ethnicity. Seth okay. Gotcha yeah [ laughter ] so now you just are like oh, whoa, i know that one. Thats northeast of here. [ laughter ] youre like oh that yeah you have to get very vague but yeah but these guys you know, its people from back in the day, so my friend steve kelly in yorkville, and he goes over the history, but also the brawl the giant fights theyd have at these Second Avenue bars he left his comic strip post to go across the street, got in a big brawl. The cops are everywhere, he goes back to the comic strip where ironically hes in charge of security, and then my friend Mike Spillane was telling the story about him and his brother and his cousin and couple other guys and they get in a fight in a bar, couple of guys. But they didnt realize one of the friends they were fighting was andre the giant. [ light laughter ] so he picks him up and just flings him [ light laughter ] seth i feel like you should get a visual on andre the giant before the fight starts . Yeah. No, actually, he did see him in the bathroom and he was like, wow. But he didnt know he was with the guy to fight. Seth oh, thats a bummer i think just out of safety if andre the giant was there, i wouldnt start any fights. You never know whos his plus one. [ laughter ] no, yeah. Yes. Andre the giant with a plus one. I like that. Seth did you like what were sort of like what about flushing what was the reputation about flushing flushing back then it was kind of irish, italian, jewish like a lot of neighborhoods. Now its all asian and then it became korean. And then it became chinese so even the koreans now have left flushing. They moved to bayside. Seth so its just like it rotates through. You just have like one after the other sure. Seth a different identity comes through. Yeah. Seth thats fascinating. I agree i love it. Seth you talked about small talk and how its a lost art but i was wondering, small talk in Different Countries you travel a lot do you find like different certain cultures are better at small talk well, i mean irish it depends on who you like for small talk if you like being having your balls busted, the irish people seth yeah. You know, they like that banter seth yeah. Is what i mean you know what i mean so i was in ireland like we went last summer to ireland. So i go to the theres a girl behind this like podium at the Hotel Restaurant so im the guy that likes to, you know, like i like to play around with the pe like im the guy in my building, if somebodys mopping, every time i walk in the lobby, i pretend to slip like, hey [ light laughter ] and pretend. Seth yeah, yeah. Its not the mark twain humor prize, but, you know, thats [ laughter ] thats my thing. I like to be like, ahh have a couple of laughs and move on nobody gets hurt well have a nice laugh. And im getting mad thinking about people judging [ laughter ] and i go, ooh yeah, its funny you know, im not the pratfall guy, but e seth everybody thinks its funny that you do it yeah. Seth im sure the guy mopping must love it he loves it seth yeah. [ laughter ] every time. Seth yeah, yeah. And sometime like if its the same guy, then ill wait the extra second because, you know, surprise is the element in comedy [ laughter ] and hes like, oh, hes not going to do it. And i pass him then i do it. [ laughter ] anyway seth ireland oh, so i go to ireland, so this girl behind the counter at the podium at this restaurant in the hotel and shes quiet like 19, but irish people they all have the same ball buster sense of humor so i go, i want the best table in here. She you know she goes she goes you deserve no less. [ laughter ] and i go, my wife is joining me. She goes, shes a lucky woman. [ laughter ] love it. Seth you you traveled to greece you were in greece this summer . I was in greece this summer seth what do you whats your takeaway . Epiphany i dont think that maybe thats a greek word . [ light laughter ] seth i think it is epiphany well, because they go, do you want to see the birthplace of democracy where it all began . And i go, yeah its rubble. Its ruins [ laughter ] so thats what i had gre democracy worked for like 150 years and then it was monarchy, a great system for thousands of years and then we decided to unearth this failed rubble system. [ laughter ] you know we had the perfect setup in 1775, a remote king thats the best form of government seth yeah. [ light laughter ] they didnt know what we were doing, we did whatever we wanted over here. Seth yeah. You know, but he couldnt would take him 40 days to get over here. But we could use his name. [ laughter ] we could use his name if spain or portugal stepped to us. Were like, king george might not like that. [ light laughter ] we gave it all away stamps and tea. [ light laughter ] whens the last time anyone used its email and coffee over here, you know . [ laughter ] seth do you feel like humors changed from when you were growing up . Like the tenor of humor. Well, when we were little i mean i remember as a little kid thats why, when people say, you gotta make every laugh. You dont have to make young kids laugh i dont want to make young kids laugh. I dont have the same sense of humor. cause i know how dumb what i thought was funny when i was young, i remember some kid was like, hey, that guys a real master and then he goes, bater. And i was like at the time, i go, thats pretty thats pretty good. Seth yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] put that we put them together like that ill give you a test, seth spell icup. Seth icup oh, yeah, yeah, yeah [ laughter ] yeah, yeah thats the kind of stuff that was seth and youre saying that back in those days seth youre not judging them for enjoying that, but you dont want to you dont want to no, i dont want to seth cater to that audience no, exactly seth and do you feel like comedy has become more negative than when you were a kid well not just comedy, everything is more negative. I was watching look at taylor swift she goes out [ cheers ] right . She goes to the game like in the old days, youre like, oh, look an athlete and a singer going out. This is great. Everybodys like, uhh. You dont we dont even know why everybodys upset, but theyre like, i dont like it. Were all waiting for the whole thing to crash and burn. Seth yeah. Every game. Youre like, look at her in the stands, with the mother. [ light laughter ] its the most its the most wholesome thing ive ever seen in my life [ laughter ] seth i know. Im also shocked that sports fans are upset that theres not more focus on football theres so little football in a football game. [ light laughter ] and its just those two guys in a booth. Theyre trying to make small talk theyre trying to make yes seth they got nothing to say. Thats right. Seth i think its such a great relief just to cut to people who seem happy. They must love it [ laughter ] they must love it, yeah. Seth as a jets fan, were you how you feel about the season so far . Well, were excited because first of all [ laughter ] people dont understand, ive been a jets fan since i was a little kid the jets i was there when they not there, but i was watching or listening, i forget how it was in those days, but when the jets, when joe namath was there and i remember thinking, even as a tenyearold kid, like, this makes sense its new york. Its a big market. Itll probably be like this forever. Seth right [ light laughter ] little did i know but when Aaron Rodgers got the achilles, the first set of downs, any real jets fan was not like, ah, i cant believe it of course, what else would you expect to happen seth right [ light laughter ] so you werent that surprised . No, i wasnt at all i mean it made perfect sense seth were fellow writers. Writers strikes over thats a good thing. You you have a negotiating tactic, cause i know a lot of people had their notes about like, if i was on the negotiating committee, i would say this or that. but you you take care of your own contract two months before it the writers strike, i happened to be telling my wife who, you know, deals with that kind of stuff. I go, all my career, a little fun secret fact i thought about me i go, all my whole career, whenever they hand me the contract this started in the 80s and it says, in perpetuity, in all forms existing and in the future. Back in the 80s, this was one of the big contract points, but i always cross it off in every contract anyone ever handed me if i was on the show anyway, i cross it off with my pen. So i told her that and she literally spent a minute laughing in my face. [ laughter ] seth so in perpetuity you were just never comfortable with people owning it forever yeah and, in all forms existing and in the future, you know what i mean seth yeah. So what would you what would you negotiate instead, 100 years . [ laughter ] well, just i dont like these well, who knew . This is before any this is before streaming, anything like that seth yeah. You know, ai. I was ahead of the game is what im trying to say. [ laughter ] seth yeah. She seth and she laughs at you youre ahead of the game she laughed at me seth a futurist like yourself, yeah [ laughter ] exactly, exactly. Seth final thing, you know, obviously you you interact with showbiz people. Theres a lot of showbiz small talk yes seth sometimes people will say, we should get together sometime. Yeah. Seth are the kind of person who likes to make plans like that well, i dont, i hate it, but i always say, yes, absolutely. Seth okay. [ light laughter ] so that would be your advice never show up and then some people actually have the nerve to call you on like, hey i thought we were getting together for lunch. I was like, um, what are you talking about . [ laughter ] did you seriously believe we were going to get together for lunch . [ laughter ] so weird to me, you know seth so right so it its just like words, like if someones like, we should get together and youre like, yeah, absolutely. Thats just like a pleasant way of ending a conversation well if i say it, then im insulted if they dont want to do it. [ laughter ] seth sure, sure, sure. Thats a whole thats a totally different thats a different dynamic. Seth hey, thanks so much for being here thank you seth its always a pleasure talking to you colin quinn. [ cheers and applause for Ticket Information, go to colinquinn. Com well be right back with more late night. [ cheers and applause [sfx oven ding] we make sitdown chicken. Standup chicken. Backyard chicken. Oops chicken. And allsmiles chicken. If theres one thing we know, its chicken, chicken and chicken. More choices. More wow. [sfx oven ding] more to love. Tyson. [ am pm by notd begins. ] mor when you can savew. 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Us [ cheers and applause announcer the audience is back at late night. Come join us live in studio 8g for tickets head over to latenightsethtickets. Com and for more late night, follow us on instagram, twitter, and tiktok latenightseth. Be sure to check us out on youtube, facebook, and over at latenightseth. Com. Subscribe to the late night podcast, featuring a closer look and more available on apple, spotify, google, or wherever you listen to podcasts. [ cheers and applause seth i want to thank my guests amy sedaris and colin quinn. I want to thank greg clark jr. And the 8g band. Thanks for watching, we love you. [ cheers and applause