Announcer tonight on late night with seth meyers, bette midler author bryan washington, an allnew closer look, featuring the 8g band with fred armisen and now, Seth Meyers Seth welcome to late night. How is everybody doing tonight there are now six days until the election, so get in line now lets get to the news. According to the latest numbers, over 70 Million People across the country have already voted or, as the Postal Service is reporting, none. During a Campaign Rally in florida, yesterday, former president obama criticized President Trump for treating the presidency as, quote, a reality show that can give him the attention he craves. And by the number of tiki torches, im guessing its survivor the third baseman for the Los Angeles Dodgers was pulled from their worldserieswinning game last night during the seventh inning, after he tested positive for the coronavirus and not a moment too soon because third base is one of the easiest ways to catch the virus. [ light laughter ] we have a new 12yearold on staff, right, baze hes off to a hot start. Cnn said yesterday it will not air a protrump ad on its network, due to issues with the truthfulness of its content. And the last thing you want is a deceitful ad, after your tenminute interview with Kellyanne Conway the New York Times published a quiz yesterday entitled, can you tell a trump fridge from a biden fridge . I dont know but you can definitely tell those fridges from a bernie fridge today was microsoft cofounder and billionaire bill gatess 65th birthday. Said gates, all right, i can finally collect social security. Wally got real slow with the cards there, guys. I know everyones at home being like, oh, really living in the pause after that punch line. It was seth but ole wally got real slow with the card it was stuck. Seth it was stuck. Hey. Lets show again because i feel like we havent looked at wallys side sponge for a while. [ laughter ] again, if you missed it, wally used to lick his fingers [ laughter ] before switching cards and now, because of covid, he has to wear a sponge on the side of his face. Just like that and then, sometimes, it doesnt work nope, it didnt work. Seth all right so, the key here is you remember that it was bill all right thats right today was bill gatess birthday and, this is fun, his family rented out a chilis oh, wait, sorry, i read that wrong. Chile. They rented out chile. And finally, the founder of socalled sexslave cult nxivm, keith raniere, was sentenced yesterday to 120 years in prison and if you want to know what 120 years feels like, binge watch the vow. And that was a monologue, everybody. You guys, we have a fantastic show for you tonight so, i am so very excited that the divine bette midler will be here it is her first time on the show im over the moon about it and because we love authors here, at late night, particularly this one, im going to be chatting with bryan washington. His debut novel memorial was published this week. Its wonderful but, before we get to all that, with less than a week until the election, the president is whining that the media spends too much time covering covid and signaling his intent to steal the election through the Supreme Court. For more on this, its time for a closer look. Seth at some point its hard to find new ways to describe how awful donald trump is. If you bought stock in thesaurus. Com four years ago, congrats on becoming a millionaire. I mean, what else is there to say . Hes just a vicious, monstrous, deeply repellent figure, whos willing to hurt anyone and do anything to cling to power for example, yesterday he was in michigan, where hes repeatedly incited threats against the governor, Gretchen Whitmer a few weeks ago, the fbi broke up an alleged plot by rightwing terrorists to kidnap whitmer and on tuesday, trump seemed to suggest that, actually, that might not be a problem your governor, i dont think she likes me too much. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Im the one. It was our people that helped her out with her problem i mean, well have to see if its a problem, right . People are entitled to say, maybe, it was a problem. Maybe it was it was our people, my people, our people that helped her out. And then she blamed me for it. Seth the fbi is not your people and if they are your people, your people sure put a lot of your other people in jail. Its the iron law of trump anytime you think he cant get worse as a human being, he finds a way. Hes like the usain bolt of being an [ bleep ] he just keeps breaking his own world records. Even stands like hes leaning over the finish line i broke the tape. Are you saying you think it, maybe, wasnt a problem that a bunch of rightwing terrorists planned to stage a coup and kidnap the governor of michigan . My god trump loses, hes going to have to move to a cabin in the woods and grow a unabomber beard of course, even if he did move to a cabin in the woods, wed probably be able to find him and by the way, according to the authorities, this plot wasnt just hypothetical. Federal officials released chilling videos of training exercises and chat messages where the suspects discussed their plans. One of the codefendants wrote to his coconspirators, and this is real. Okay, well, hows everyone feel about kidnapping . Not that it makes it any less terrifying but these guys are such dip [ bleep ], you couldnt even use emojis . Hows everyone feel about woman, car, bag of money . They talked about a terrorist plot to wage a coup and kidnap the governor like they were ordering takeout well, im fine with kidnapping but ken wants thai. Ken, we had thai last week. Well, what if we do thai and kidnapping . Because then, if the thai shows up first, everyones going to eat it and no ones going to want to do the kidnapping, ken weve been over this. Trump also keeps falsely insisting michigan is still locked down, even though it definitely is not. Hes made this lie a staple of his rallies in the state you got to get your governor to open up your state. Okay [ cheers and applause youd be doing even better if you had a governor that knew what the hell she was doing. [ cheers and applause you got to open up the state open up your state, madam governor open up your state [ cheers and applause i mean, your governors a disaster they got to open up this they got to open up this state hey, governor. Let your state open. Get your states opened up. And this governor should get her state opened up. She keeps everybody locked up, like a prison. Seth its not locked down like a prison. Youre there youre holding a giant rally in michigan if they were locked down, the last person theyd let in would be the superspreader in chief. This is what trump does. Throughout his entire campaign and presidency, his political success is dependent, in large part, on his willingness to distort plain, observable reality. I mean, he doesnt just lie about obscure or complicated things he lies about simple, straightforward things we can all see and hear, with our eyes and ears. Like, a weather map. I mean, no one was fooled by that we all know what sharpie looks like when new yorkers get on the subway, no one says, ooh, looks like the cast of suits has mustaches this season. And now, trump is, once again, trying to warp reality 37 states are seeing spikes in coronavirus cases, which are up 39 across the country were seeing new records for daily cases. Deaths are up 13 , and hospitals and hot spots are overwhelmed. Like in el paso, where theres been a 300 increase in hospitalizations since the start of october but the president has been insisting that, despite what you can see with your own eyes, everything is fine and hes been whining that the media wont stop talking about the deadly virus killing hundreds of americans every day. Heres a tweet from the president today. The fakenews media is writing covid, covid, covid, he tweeted, all the way to the election losers. Until november 4th, fakenews media is going fullon covid, covid, covid all the fakenews media wants to talk about is covid, covid, covid. The news. The cnn, all they talk about, covid, covid, covid, covid all biden and his handlers and the media want to talk about today is covid, covid, covid you know that. You turn on this network theres covid, covid, covid, covid. Its all i hear. Turn on television covid, covid covid, covid, covid, covid covid, covid, covid, covid seth sounds like hes looking at the white house staff photo. Covid, covid, covid jail covid, covid, fired. Covid, soninlaw, covid. Hes jealous of a virus. He sounds like he is complaining to his agent about an actor who got a part he wanted covid, covid, covid everybodys talking about covid. I thought you told me i was a lock for peoples sexiest virus alive . Trump is so mad, hes gone full hodor. Sounds like a character from the covidexpansion pack for the sims. Covid, covid, covid, covid, covid. Covid, covid, covid. If it seems to you like trump is jealous of all the Media Coverage covids been getting, youre not alone president obama mocked trumps whining at a rally in florida on tuesday. This week, with everything thats happening, you know what he brought up . He was fussing about the crowd size at the inauguration, again. Saying his was bigger. I who who who is thinking about that right now . Nobody, except him and whats his Closing Argument . That people are too focused on covid. He said this at one of his rallies. Covid, covid, covid, hes complaining. Hes jealous of covids Media Coverage seth best thing about obama on the campaign trail is the return of standup obama and another thing, whats up with everyone posting pics of banana bread during quarantine like, theyre contestants on the Great British bake off. You look more like a like a great, british jerkoff. What else . What else . Now, we knew trump was going to be pissed that obama roasted him. But to add insult to injury, trumps favorite tv channel, fox news, aired obamas speech and trump was not happy about it do you want to react to what president obama said in his speech i only saw he was on fox. And fox puts him on all the time and they put sleepy joe on all the time no fox fox is very disappointing. That fox puts on this this would not have happened with roger ailes, i could tell you that seth i do love when obama gets under trumps skin. I got to see it up close and personal at the Correspondents Dinner in 2011 they say that was the night obama caused trump to run for president. Fine it was him and Mckay Coppins those two have a lot to answer for. And just a reminder, roger ailes had so many credible, sexualassault allegations against him, he had to resign from fox news. Thats like getting kicked out of the nxivm cult for being too good at volleyball thats the takeaway of that doc, right . I only watched a couple episodes i feel like thats the gist. Provolleyball aside from Everything Else thats grotesque and nauseating about trump, he is also just an insufferable, [ bleep ] little baby he whines about everything i mean, honestly, who enjoys listening to this . Its like taking your grandfather to a fancy restaurant they put us near the kitchen, can you believe this ask if we can move. We cant move, grandpa. Our food isnt even cooked. Thats carpaccio, grandpa. Why are there two forks in nam we ate with our hands. Trump will accept nothing less than universal praise, validation, and victory. He thinks he is entitled to it and hell whine until he gets it thats why he is attacking the integrity of the election, and telegraphing that he wants his new, 63 conservative supermajority on the Supreme Court to steal it for him. Hopefully, the few states remaining that want to take a lot of time, after november 3rd, to count ballots, that wont be allowed by the various courts because, as you know, were in courts on that we just had a big victory yesterday in wisconsin on that matter so, hopefully, that wont be happening. I think were doing very well. Were going to have an exciting night. It would be very, very proper and very nice if a winner were declared on november 3rd instead of counting ballots for two weeks, which is totally inappropriate. And i dont believe that thats by our laws. Seth okay, first of all, why does it sound so threatening when trump says were going to have an exciting night its like hearing jigsaw say, i want to play a game. Second, ballots that get counted after midnight on Election Night are still valid ballots. Nowhere in the constitution or federal law does it say all ballots must be counted by 11 59 p. M. On november 3rd Election Night is just a thing, invented by radio and tv channels for ratings like may sweeps or the Kardashian Family i mean, none of them are even related. Two of them are cgi. I mean, would a real person tweet about a Birthday Party on a private island in the middle of a pandemic . Oh, really they did but just one tweet [ gasps a thread oh point is, republicans pretend to be originalists who adhere to the strict meaning of the constitution but, back when the constitution was written, you think they counted all the ballots on Election Night back then, it took two weeks to get a letter to someone in the next state and you had to ride a horse until it died. Thats why Inauguration Day was originally in march. John adams needed four months just to unfurrow his brow. I am vexed, abigail. Again, thats a pretty, pretty decent giamatti as john adams impression im just saying, its worth its worth watching the miniseries and i think if you do, youll say, ah. So the republican partys new position is that any ballot received after election day should not be counted, even if it was postmarked by election day. Which would radically alter how we have conducted elections in this country for decades and conservatives on the Supreme Court are already signaling that theyre ready to go along with this absurd, new standard. The courts conservative majority refused, on monday, to extend wisconsins deadline for receiving absentee ballots to six days after the election. And Justice Brett kavanaugh wrote one of the sloppiest, most incoherent opinions in recent memory, repeating the trump claim that ballots counted after election day are somehow suspicious in his written opinion, Justice Brett kavanaugh, trump appointee, said elections have to end sometime. Quote, states want to avoid the chaos and suspicions of impropriety that could ensue if thousands of absentee ballots flow in after election day, and potentially flip the results of an election. Seth what are you talking about . If there are more ballots to count, then that means there are no results to flip thats like ending a Football Game after the Third Quarter because fourthquarter touchdowns would flip the score. Which is ridiculous and also impossible if you are playing the jets eh, we did our best, fellows. But, coach, theres still the fourth quarter. Yeah. I might just head out. Beat the traffic. Kavanaughs opinion was also riddled with incredibly lazy errors he favorably quoted a legal scholar who was actually arguing in favor of the extending postmarked deadlines repeatedly confused receipt deadlines with submission deadlines, and wrote that other states, such as vermont by contrast, have decided not make changes to their ordinary election rules which is not true. Vermont decided to mail a ballot to every registered voter and authorized ballot processing 30 days before the election to speed up vote counting oh, no is this one of those classic, i like beer situations if you want to know what vermonts up to, just google it. Or sit quietly in your office and wait for Bernie Sanders to yell about it. Everyone in vermont gets a ballot and a sticker i dont like the sticker because it leaves a residue on my good shirt. This is the gops con. Slow down mail service, limit the number of drop boxes then, claim ballots that arrive late are invalid for example, Texas Governor greg abbott limited dropoff locations for mailin ballots to one per county meanwhile, republicans in pennsylvania blocked attempts to allow counties to start processing mail ballots before election day basically, if republicans had their way there would be exactly one ballot drop box for the entire country, somewhere in the mojave desert. And youd only be able to use it on oddnumber days between the hours of 3 00 and 4 00 a. M after crossing a bridge and answering three riddles from rudy giuliani. Riddle me this. How would you get a mic off without untucking your shirt . You know what giulianis catchphrase used to be, shoemaker . My cousin. [ light laughter ] it couldnt be any clearer that trump and his allies on the Supreme Court are telegraphing their plan to orchestrate a sequel to bush v. Gore by hoping trump is ahead on Election Night. And then, prematurely, declaring him the winner before all the votes are counted. And now, they have yet another reliable ally in their scheme with the confirmation of amy coney barrett. Barrett is such a loyal trump disciple, she made the stunning decision to appear with trump at what was effectively a white house Campaign Rally on monday and in a subsequent campaignstyle video just eight days before a president ial election she might have to rule on ah, yes, the independent judiciary. Just how the framers imagined it you know how bummed john adams would be to see that be Walking Around the house saying, abigail, i am perturbed, abigail i am dang it. Pull up thesaurus. Com. And if you are a barrett supporter, you might argue that she can accept a nomination from a president without endorsing his character. But once she shares the same balcony with a roger ailes apologist who is still on the fence as to whether or not a plot to kidnap a governor is a good or bad thing, you can [ bleep ] right off. The plan is clear. Trump and the gop are doing everything they can to suppress and undermine mailin voting, hoping they can prematurely declare victory on Election Night with the help of the Supreme Court. Theres one way we can stand up to this and its by voting, in overwhelming numbers, to repudiate trump and his enablers if enough of us do that, then we could have an outcome that is both very proper and very nice seth this has been a closer look. We will be right back with bette midler announcer for more of seths closer looks, be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. Faster, faster theyre gaining on you [engine revving] thats good come on come on [spooky laugh] okay now [yelling] herethat took a shot [yelling] at crafting a bolder, smoother tequila and never looked back. Hornitos a shot worth taking. Can i get a quarter pounder with cheese . Make that two . Thank you. Aye but i thought you said. But you got two. Mmhm. Get it at mcdonalds when you buy one of your faves and get another for just a dollar. Alexa, tell roomba to vacuum in front of the couch. Experience clean in a whole new way. Now roomba offers you personalized cleaning suggestions and vacuums exactly where you need it. By getting to know you and your home, roomba makes cleaning easier than ever before. So say goodbye to cleaning and hello to clean. Hey google, tell roomba to vacuum the dining room table. Roomba and the irobot home app. Only from irobot. Hey yeah . I switched to geico and got more more savings on Car Insurance . They helped with homeowners, too ok plus motorcycle, boat and rv insurance geicos got you covered like a blanket houston . You seeing this . Geico. Expect great savings and a whole lot more. Seth welcome back. Were so lucky to have fred armisen back leading the 8g band this week. How you doing, fred . Fred, im a little concerned because, all week, every time i talk to you, you basically do the same thing are you doing okay because i just want to make sure this isnt sort of like a hostage situation. All right, ill tell you what, fred if everythings fine and theres nothing to worry about, just give me a little wave. Oh, okay thats a relief. Great to see you, fred our first guest, tonight, is an Academy Award nominated, emmy, grammy, and tonyawardwinning actress you know from gypsy, the first wives club, and the Broadway Revival of hello dolly. Her annual hulaween costume gala in search of the sanderson sisters, a hocus pocus takeover of hulaween will stream virtually this friday, at 8 00 p. M please, welcome the legendary, bette midler how are you, bette deafening applause. Im good im good im very well. Thank you. Seth i am so im genuinely so thrilled to have you here i am a gigantic fan and this has this has been a Long Time Coming for me. I am so thrilled to hear you say that because i am a huge, huge fan of yours. I wouldnt have gotten through any of this without you and stephen colbert. Its just youve been fantastic. This tonights one tonights closer look was like i mean, i was flipping birds, left and right. Seth well, thank you so much you know, you are considered the queen of many things but, for a while now, youve been considered the queen of halloween because of the 1993 film hocus pocus. Is this true yes, yes, it is true. It was a picture that started off a little bit sleepy but, somehow, it found its niche. Niche. And it became a kind of a cult classic. And now, its everywhere i mean, i wish i had a nickel for every person who turned out to be, you know, who turned out in a Winifred Sanderson costume. But its now its a cult classic. And after 27 years, the two girls, kathy najimy and Sarah Jessica parker and i have reunited for this onenightonly halloween, hulaween extravaganza, a mockumentary called in search of the sanderson sisters. And its not just a zoom call and tickets are Still Available, nyrp. Org seth i have a question to ask because this is interesting. A lot of people are doing zoom reunions but this is not just talking about the good, ole days you actually have written a new script were going to catch up with the sanderson sisters. I have a question, which is, are the teeth going to show up, bette . Theyre definitely going to show up. Now, they are not my original teeth. My original teeth did break because i have worn them on special occasions. But i did get the original tooth man, kevin haney, was divine to make me another pair and they didnt fit. You know, they wouldnt stay in my face. So i found something called poly grip and thats what they told me to put on, and that stuff really works, i got to say. [ laughter ] so i put them in and, hey, they stayed it was it was quite an afternoon. And we were and we shot with all of us, the two girls showed up they came to a studio. We did all the covid stuff and we did our you know, we did our thing. And it was and the thing that was the weirdest part is, like 27 years after we had finished this picture, and i havent seen those two girls, together, in 27 years ive seen them in in you know, ive seen them many times but always solo. It was exactly the same. It was like yesterday. It was like we were eating in the cafeteria. It was exactly the same. Fell right into our old characters seth i imagine when you make a film, obviously, you want it to be a big hit. Thats a goal. But is it nice to have a film like this that sort of had a longer tail and that you sort of continually hear about over the years . I would say so. Oh, yeah i would say so its its actually kind of its the most its so strange. We had so much fun making it and we had no expectation for it none, at all and as the years have gone by, its just become this snowball, this gigantic snowball and i have to say, it has been so rewarding its been i mean, people people come to me and say, oh, i saw this when i was six. And these people have like white hair and youre like, oh, my, im sure it was lovely. Its great its great its actually the most rewarding. And thats not and thats im talking financially, too its been great. I mean, its like an annuity it just keeps going. Seth thats wonderful. Its very nice that hulaween is usually a live event, a live fundraiser and for the new york restoration project. This year, because of the fact that were going through a pandemic, people can only pay 10 because, it should be noted, your donors have stepped up. Exactly the donors are the sponsors and we have quite a few of them. And they have been so generous unbelievably generous. But weve sold a lot of tickets, too. And the reason we have sold tickets is because we have this incredible cast. Its not just Sarah Jessica and kathy. But we, also, have omri katz, thora birch, doug jones and vinessa shaw from the original picture. And we also have adam lambert. We have meryl streep playing flow sarah silverman. We have marty short. We have jennifer hudson. We have anjelah johnson, Kenan Thompson we have a huge cast. Billy crystal. Billy eichner. Alex brightman alex moffat. And john stamos is the handsome devil. And it was wrangling a lot of talent wrangling and a lot of effects and a lot of excitement about building effects and what what can we do here that will be a surprise so it was we i think its i feel that we put a lot of creativity into it because when people come to our inperson event, they expect a real blowout and we wanted to give them something that would be memorable. And i got to say its ten bucks dont panic. We did a lot of work i hope you like it if you dont, what can i say i mean, i did we did our best seth i want to talk to you more about the new york restoration project and what they do. Well be right back with more from bette midler. Ornaments create time to hang. Gingerbread builds tradition. A string of lights sparks family ties. A lastminute gift makes a lasting impression. A tray carries your heritage. And an ending means a new beginning. Smooth driving pays off with allstate, the safer you drive the more you save you never been in better hands allstate click or call for a quote today you never been in better hands allstate tmobiles been building its 5g network for a moment like this. Introducing the iphone 12 pro with 5g. Now at tmobile, you can unleash the power of the epic iphone 12 pro in more places. Get 2 iphone 12 pro max 2 lines of unlimited 5g for just 100. Only at tmobile. Americas largest 5g network. 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Dont you have like a hot pilates class to get to or something . [ muffled scream ] stop living with at t. Xfinity can deliver gig to the most homes. Seth welcome back. Were here with bette midler now, this is an event, hulaween, that you have been doing for years. We have a photo because its always costume based this is you from 1998. Yes seth and this one did not go as well as other years, correct . That was a little bit, tiny bit of a disaster. That was the makeover ball but it was actually my favorite because it was the silliest. It was the makeover ball and this was the height of the makeovers. Everyone was getting makeovers and so, we auctioned off, a live auction, it was a live auction, of procedures. You could go for a consultation to a Plastic Surgeon the fillers had just started so it we were offering all the but we didnt have one we didnt have one person raise their hand i mean, it was dead. Dead in the room a big flop seth well, it makes sense. Obviously, i think people would probably want a makeover but they wouldnt publicly want to admit that they needed one. Nobody cares anymore. But in those days i dont do anything. Me no, never. Anyway, so, that was a big dud its just been its been such a wild ride but the group is so great. The organization, nyrp, is so fabulous i mean, its 25 years old, now weve taught thousands of kids about environment and science. Weve cleaned up parks we own 52 community gardens. We grow food we we provide a place for people to get away from their apartments we its just its been a great its been a great ride. Seth you know, this is such a wonderful way to give back because, obviously, you, yourself, are a new york icon. And what i love about this organization is it appreciates, you know, and its hard to come by in new york, obviously. But just the value of outdoor space for people in a community. Are you kidding me . The whole town is cement the whole town is nothing but bricks and mortar. Its such a tough town and the potholes i mean, you just want to shoot yourself so, when you get into a garden, you should get into a garden or a park, thats like, oh, i feel so much better you know, you sit. You have a glass of water. You talk to your dog i mean, its a place of its supposed to be a place of peace and quiet. And when i came back in 1994, from l. A. , it wasnt it wasnt like that at all. It was really, really rough. So i rolled up my my Shirt Sleeves and i got a group of people, likeminded people, to start really, literally, just picking up trash in public spaces and it made a big difference because, all of a sudden, people said, like, oh, whats she doing . Oh, i guess i could do that, too. Oh, okay, i guess i will and so, we sort of changed the mindset. And i think its been its been its been the most rewarding thing ive ever done, really really its been just a godsend to me and to my family seth im so glad youre doing that i want to close by saying i think one of the last times i went with my whole family to see anything on broadway, it was you in the revival of hello dolly. It was such a wonderful delight. And i wonder, you know, how much do you miss it and how desperate are you for just broadway, in general, even as as someone in the audience, to come back you know, i really that show, that particular show, was monumental in my career. And i worked like a dog to get to a place where the chorus would respect me thats all i want. I mean, i knew people would come because they know that i am a good live performer. But i wanted the chorus to like me so, i wanted to i wanted them to say, yes, she can dance yes, she can sing. You know, that shes not shes not faking and i worked like i worked for a year with a dance coach on that and i was very, very proud of it because they really did take me to their hearts. And i think about them, every single day i dont want to cry. But i think about them i know them. I know them by name. I know where they live i know i know where they live and their generosity was extraordinary. And the Broadway Community is so devoted to its own they really do Broadway Cares equity fights aids, they have done just a yeomans job making sure that these kids survive, the people who work on broadway survive and i just have to give them props. Theyre fantastic. I really do miss them. I miss them more than anything seth yes and i think we all just miss that wonderful element of new york as well. And its just such a delight to talk to you. Thank you so much for being here with us today. One second, before you go i did want to say, yes, i was singing in hello dolly. But im really praying that, on november 3rd, im singing goodbye donny seth im very glad we got that in. Thank you so much. Please. Okay seth new york Restoration Projects hocus Pocus Hulaween happens virtually this friday, october 30th, at 8 00 p. M. And tickets are Still Available at www. Nyrp. Org. Well be right back with more late night. Cell phone repair. Did you know Liberty Mutual customizes your Car Insurance so you only pay for what you need . Just get a quote at libertymutual. Com. Really . Ill check that out. Oh yeah. I think i might get a quote. Not again aah, come on rice. Do your thing. Only pay for what you need. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Cross eerbody off heyour gift list. E emas. The whole squad lookin fly in the halfzips. Its the coziest fleecemas that ever existed. Shop cozy styles for everyone on your list. We holiday. Only at old navy and oldnavy. Com okay, so, magnificent mile for me i thought i was managing. My moderate to severe Crohns Disease. 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With humira, remission is possible. Ask your gastroenterologist about humira. Got the whole fam rockin hejingle jammays olidays our 18th time watchin love actuallay we gon have the best holiday here at old navay shop jingle jammies from head to toe to tail. We holiday. Only at old navy and oldnavy. Com chef claes insists on fresh neclean ingredients. The richest cheeses and a mouthwatering sauce. So when chef claes makes a pizza, he doesnt just make a pizza. He makes a masterpiece. Taste our delicious new flatbread pizzas today. Panera. Seth welcome back to late night. A new documentary about pope francis was released last week and in it, the pope says, for the first time ever, that he thinks samesex couples should be able to have civil unions one of our writers, jenny hagel, is gay and shes here to comment. Hi, jenny. Hi, seth. Im here at the vatican, and everyone is buzzing. The pope has said that samesex couples should be allowed to have civil unions. This is really exciting stuff. Seth is it i mean, i havent heard people advocate for civil union since the late 90s. I mean, it feels a little, i dont know, outdated seth, the Catholic Church is an Old Institution sometimes, change comes slowly but when it comes, it is thrilling. Oh wow, seth. Theres some more, breaking news this is huge the pope has just said he thinks we should all get dialup internet seth oh, wow, jenny, are you sure youre not getting an old news update . No, seth, this happened today. The pope has given his blessing. He said we can all get dialup internet, and i think that is huge progress. Seth i dont think it is again, it sounds kind of outdated oh. Oh seth, the pope has just released a statement. It says, have you guys heard the miseducation of lauryn hill . Its a great album you should check it out. Wow, seth. Wow. This pope is very cool seth is he oh, wait, theres more. He also said hes got some great Monica Lewinsky jokes. Hes going to read them from the balcony in st. Peters square, and he feels confident they will age really well. Seth theyre not going to age well seth, this is major seth jenny, i dont think these little bits of news warrant all this excitement. Of course, they do. Francis became pope in 2013, and it took him just seven, short years to get onboard with a policy that everyone else abandoned 20 years ago a lot of straight people called to tell me this news, and i was very excited as excited as if they had told me they just got a car phone seth oh, i see what youre doing. Youre saying theres a reason people abandon civil unions because theyre not equal to marriage telling samesex couples they should have civil unions sounds a lot like saying theyre secondclass citizens. Thats exactly what im saying oh, my god seth dont tell me seth, youre not going to believe this seth oh, i really dont want to know. Seth, the pope just got a new haircut and it is fresh. Seth what . Is that the pope with the rachel yes hes on the cutting edge seth oh, my goodness, this is amazing jenny hagel, everyone. Well be right back. Itchy . Squirmy . Scratchy . Family not getting clean . Get new charmin ultra strong. Go get em. It just cleans better. With a diamond weave texture, your family can use less while still getting clean. Goodbye itchy squirm hello clean bottom we all go. Why not enjoy the go with charmin. In a whole new way. Now roomba vacuums exactly where you need it, and offers personalized cleaning suggestions for a clean unique to you and your home. Roomba and the irobot home app. Only from irobot. [ sneeze ] roomba and the irobot home app. Skip to cold relief fast with alka seltzer plus severe powerfast fizz. Dissolves quickly. Instantly ready to start working. Oh, what a relief it is so fast wait, no. Big mac sosorry. No. Mcnuggets. Hmmm. Sir . Im still here. Uhhhh. Get it at mcdonalds when you buy one of your faves and get another for just a dollar. We love our new home. Theres so much space. We have a guestroom now. But, we have aunts. Youre slouching again, ted. Expired, expired. Expired. Thanks, aunt bonnie. Its a lot of house. I hope you can keep it clean. At least geico makes bundling our home and Car Insurance easy. Which helps us save a lot of money oh, teddy. Did you get my friend request . Uh, ill have to check. doorbell ringing aunt jonis here for bundling made easy, go to geico. Com. Hello . Herethat took a shotasy, go to geico. Com. At crafting a bolder, smoother tequila and never looked back. Hornitos a shot worth taking. How can i, when you wont take it from me you can go your own way xfinity mobiles fast nationwide 5g network meets the first iphone with 5g. Get the new iphone 12 on xfinity mobile. And right now get 250 off. Learn more at an xfinity store today. Seth our next guest is an awardwinning author, whose debut novel, memorial, was published this week. Please, welcome to the show, bryan washington bryan, how are you hey there, seth hows it going how are you . Seth its going very well. Congrats on this debut novel i want to, also, talk real briefly about your previous book, which was a shortstory collection called lot. And you received a lot of praise for that, specifically, from barack obama, who who mentioned it as as a book he loved. How did you find out about that . And what was that like i was at a boba shop, right like, i was at a tapioca shop just getting boba, in line to get my drink and then, one friend texted me and i just kind of ignored it because, like, youre lying. And then, i got another text from a friend in a radically different friend group and these were two folks that would never be in the same room, at the same time so i thought that either yall hate me and i just didnt know it or there might be some truth to this. And it was really surreal. Seth i can only imagine what thats like. You, obviously so, you write short stories. And then, i know this book, actually, began as a sixpage short story. How does an idea like that, which you originally think is going to be one thing, expand into a full novel . It stays with you or it stayed with me i was in the middle of writing the thing that i thought would be the next book and it was just going really poorly, with no hope of recovery, whatsoever but i would talk to my friends about this short story that id written and the community of folks within it. And the concerns and the sort of thoughts that had followed me, after it and they were theyre generally smarter than me. They were just saying, well, maybe, thats the thing that you should be spending your time doing, instead of just talking to us about it. And i ignored them and then i showed it to my agent and she mirrored their sentiments. And i showed it to my editor, laura perciasepe, and she was just really generous with wanting me to follow where those threads led. So i think because i didnt know where the characters in memorial would end up, thats what got me to want to actually try the project in earnest and see what the ending of that story would look like. Seth you mention showing it to a lot of people who then give you feedback have you always been a writer whos been open to getting feedback from from friends . Oh, yeah. I i love feedback i think that it is the work, in a lot of ways. You know like, my editor, i show her these drafts and like theyre just terrible. And in a lot of ways, there are so many people that go into making a book a thing, you know, that its almost ridiculous to have one persons name on it so ive just been really fortunate to be privy to folks that are willing to listen to me just talk about the things im trying to do and help me further them along a little bit. Seth ive heard that you, sometimes, will write notes, ideas in just sort of your notes app on your phone. Ive done that before as well, you know, with threads of jokes or ideas and im very disappointed, sometimes, when i look back and i cannot even remember what it was that i was trying to say to myself are you better at it than i am probably not. I mean, ill think that i am and ill try to be like really strategic about it and ill wake up at like 2 00 or 3 00 in the morning, and think that im just like rattling off these ideas. And this is going to be the next book or the next project or whatever and then, ill look at it and its like fork, sandal, puppy. Like, h. E. B. Like, what are you going to do with that . So i tried to be a bit more strategic about how i spend my time but its always a process. Seth you sort of this was not a lifelong plan of yours to be a writer. You fell into it, so to speak. Basically, just took a class, right . Yeah. So, i took a course with matt johnson, who is just the loveliest guy. And he was really receptive to what i was trying to do and the stories that i was trying to tell and i, also, had the good fortune of taking a class with someone named joanna leake who is just the loveliest person and, really, i think thats this idea of like it takes a community to really put someone on to anything, you know it was through their just being warm and just being really gracious with their time and being really gracious with my work and the things that i was trying to do, that it sort of made me see that, okay, maybe this is something worth pursuing but even before studying with either of them, i wasnt someone who was the biggest reader, to say the least. Like, if you have someone in your life who doesnt read, i read less than that person and how i filled that sort of narrative gap was with movies and with film. And i was just really lucky and that, like, you know, 90s baby. So we had like a blockbuster around the corner and i could just rent all sorts of foreign film or films that are foreign to the states, anyway. And it really broadened my idea of what a narrative could be and what it could look like, and the different kinds of stories that you could tell so, in a lot of ways, my narrative education was just from watching movies and wanting to see how that could be put onto the page. Seth you talk about foreign films and obviously you have a curiosity and an open mindedness for different cultures this book takes half half of it takes place in houston, where you spent time and and the other half takes place in osaka, in japan had you spent time in osaka before you decided to put it in the book yeah. So i it seems a bit absurd, now that we cant go anywhere. But ive been really fortunate to have gotten to pass through osaka, like, at least once a year for the past five years or so and the first few times that i would be out there, it wasnt with the idea of like, okay, im just going to write about this [ bleep ] when i get back or, like, monetize it or find a way in which to put it in a narrative. Like, i was just hanging out and i was really fortunate, in that the city and my friends out there and strangers who have since become friends, were so warm and so generous and deeply, deeply thoughtful. Which i think is like a rare thing, wherever you experience it and what interested me and what made me start the book, in a lot of ways, was that i havent really experienced that sort of singular generosity anywhere else but osaka and houston and i wanted to see what it would look like if i could write something where that warmth and that generosity that ive gotten to experience on both of the pages or in both of the cities were on the pages. Seth well, i think you accomplished that very well. Congrats on the book and its really nice to meet you and thank you so much for being here thank you so much for taking the time, seth it means a lot seth memorial is on sale now, wherever books are sold but please, support local and independent bookstores well be right back. Give you my world how can i, when you wont take it from me you can go your own way xfinity mobiles fast nationwide 5g network meets the first iphone with 5g. Get the new iphone 12 on xfinity mobile. And right now get 250 off. Learn more at an xfinity store today