From Rockefeller Center in the heart of new york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy fallon. Tonight join jimmy and his guests, icet, Jack Whitehall, musical guest Charlie Wilson, and featuring the legendary roots crew and now here is your host, Jimmy Fallon Jimmy hi, everybody. Thank you so much and welcome to the tonight show. Im jimmy fallon thanks for watching again. Lets get to some news and jokes. Well, guys, this was big today the ceos of facebook, amazon, apple, and google all testified before a house subcommittee over accusations that theyve stifled competition in their industry thats them testifying right there. Yep. Seeing the four of them together is like seeing the beatles of selling your personal information i am the walrus. I am you i have all your baby photos. I dont like to pass judgment, but these guys made the cast of the Big Bang Theory look like the avengers. It is basically like the super bowl of guys that are big laughs in sports it was not an easy day for lawmakers. Its like i grill you, but i need amazon to survive google knows my search history, apples got my texts and facebooks got my drum picks so were good. Tech ceos testified for hours over videoconference so if you thought yesterdays william barr testimony was exciting, then yep. The hearing was a little dull, while jeff bezos was testifying, a graphic pop upped that said people who have viewed this testimony also viewed paint drying. Yeah, because of coronavirus, the four men testified via videoconference. Its too bad they didnt do it in person because they could have rolled up together in this, the geek squad clown car im not sure these guys like each other because to get on Mark Zuckerbergs nerves, all the other ceos made their background this. This is actually Mark Zuckerbergs fourth time testifying before congress, but you could also say that zuckerberg has testified 900 times. It doesnt matter. He wont fact check it at one point during the hearing, congressman Jim Sensenbrenner questioned zuckerberg about how donald trump jr. s twitter account was suspended, and it was a little awkward. Watch this it was reported that donald trump jr. Got taken down for a a period of time because he put something up, the efficacy of hydroxychloroquine why did that happen . Congressman, well, first to be clear, what i think you might be referring to happened on twitter so its hard for me to speak to that jimmy the congressman was um, whats the difference . Then the congressman was twitter, right, right. So that question is for you, jeff bezos but it was a big day on capitol hill with all the most important leaders in tech appearing to testify heres what they had to say before things got started. First, apple ceo tim cook said im prepared to speak to lawmakers. Then Facebook Ceo Mark Zuckerberg said i look forward to testifying. Then amazons jeff bezos said this will shed light on what we do. Then clippy, the microsoft paper clip said it looks like youre holding a hearing for tech vips. Wheres my invite, bish . Then tim cook said, this is an antitrust hearing for the largest companies. Then clippy said, what was that, tim . Its a little hard to hear you over the sound of my iphone scream chattering every time there is a gentle breeze. Then zuckerberg said, okay, clippy, lets just take it easy now. And then clippy said, i cant take it easy im all hopped up on hydroxychloroquine your website told me to take it. Then cook said, oh come on, clippy youre obviously just drunk. And clippy said, youre damn right i am if you need me, ill be at the bar with tom from myspace. Well, guys President Trump held another Coronavirus Briefing last night, or as theyre now being called, the crazy uncle on facebook hour during the briefing, trump defended the doctor he retweeted the other night who said things like some Health Issues are caused by having sex dreams about demons and witches. Trump actually called her impressive trump was like of all the demon sex doctors out there, shes the best shes rated 10 out of 10 on webdemon webdemon at this point trump thinks anybody in a white coat is a a doctor he was watching miami vice this morning and taking notes. Its like trump doing a oneman show and his friends were going that was good interesting choices. Yeah yeah i think what she said. Interesting. Its interesting and good. Good and interesting you pick the order when another reporter asked trump a question about dr. Fauci, he seemed to take it kind of personally listen to this so it sort of is curious. A man works for us, with us, very closely, dr. Fauci, and dr birx also highly thought of. And yet theyre highly thought of, but nobody likes me. It can only be my personality. Thats all jimmy and then trump waited 30 minutes for someone to say no, no, we love you. Actually, right after he said that, a voice was heard through a speaker saying not true, donald, i still love you. Did you guys see this yesterday . When joe biden was at a campaign event, someone took a photo of the notes he had in his hand, and many people think it might have tipped who he is picking as his vp. Check it out it says kamala harris, and then has a bunch of compliments about her underneath trump had a similar thing happen to him at yesterdays covid briefing when someone took a photo of his notes. It said nobody likes me, recommend useless drug, support doctors who said sickness drug can come from witches and demon witches. Lets get to some Business News i read that bud wiser is releasing its first ever alcoholfree beer called budweiser zero check it out yeah theyre already testing out some slogans first there is budweiser zero, your friends will still worry about you. Next up there is budweiser zero, when you want all your conversations at the party to be so you got that you got that and of course last there is budweiser zero, basically coors light. All good options and finally, some good news to cheer everyone up. Check this out a 99yearold woman in california is now the worlds oldest Flight Instructor robina asti gave her final flight lesson, and she said she wants to show that people her age are strong, vital, and have something to contribute. Jimmy oh my god, i think we found Amelia Earhart all of her flights start the same way, backing the plane up from the gate and running over a mailbox. When asked who taught her, she said two nice young boys, orville and wilb its a little worrisome when you get up in the air and she looks ad at you and says i always wanted to take flying lessons. We have great show tonight, icet is here, ladies and gentlemen, comedian Jack Whitehall is here, and we have great music from Charlie Wilson guy, as you know, every week we like to bring you some uplifting creative videos, whether they come from quarantine or just stuff around the country. It is time for what are you doing wednesday. What are you doing on wednesday jimmy first up, this guy got so sunburnt that he actually learned a new Quarantine Party trick check this out all right, here we go one, two, three. Jimmy wow, wow next up, this youtuber caught her daughter on the nanny cam, and she wasnt sleeping exactly. One to three, one two three drink, throw them back, im going to swing from chandelier from the chandelier jimmy thats my girl right there. Sia fan. I love it. Next up, this girl wrote a a story for her dog using words that she knew would get a reaction its brilliant hey, bear, i have to tell you a really cool story, okay . So i went outside to my car earlier, and there were some squirrels trying to get a snack from my back seat. Jimmy and then she said the word vet and it became a a scary story. And finally, this babys laugh is something we all need right now. [ laughter ] jimmy someone get that girl in our audience, please. There you go, that is what are you doing wednesday. Thank you so much for watching this guy, as i mentioned earlier, the ceos of the Biggest Tech Companies in the country spoke before Congress Today to defend their Business Practices in case you missed it, we put together a highlight reel of facebooks Mark Zuckerberg getting questioned check it out please state your name and title to the committee im Mark Zuckerberg, ceo facebook, a perfect website that has never done anything wrong. Mr. Zuckerberg, how do you respond to people who say your company has grown into a a monopoly i dont see facebook as a a monopoly we want other social media platforms to succeed we just want their success to be under the facebook banner and all the money they make go to facebook. What are you doing to counter fake news . Okay, obviously our Company Needs to take more proactive role with false information. Thats why im excited to unveil a new emoji people can use when they think something is not real. We know these guys, like, love, the faces humans make when they feel emotions. But now we have the hmm reaction if you see an article that says dna confirms obama is descendant of dracula, you can click the hmm face, and that will let your friends know hey, here is one person who thinks this story might not be up to snuff. Mr. Zuckerberg, i think you froze. No. This is just how my face is. What do you have to say about the facebook advertiser boycott . You lost a lot of huge sponsors like starbucks forget starbucks. I want to welcome a more prestigious caffeinated Beverage Company to the facebook family. Gush force x 100 energy discharge. Gush force has 500 more caffeine than the fda recommends its been banned in nine countries. Facebook will be running gush force ads until its banned in this country, and if they want to keep paying us still after that facebook is a public good. Its the only place where you can interact conspiracy theorists who think the moon is a big lizard egg as well bots. Show should be more concerned about tiktok theyre owned by china tiktok collects personal info that has been used to spread fake news and is a National Security threat. If anyone is going to do that stuff, should it be an american company, like facebook im going take all your concerns to heart. Now who should i write the check out to mr. Zuckerberg, can you please blink for us . You havent blinked at all this entire hear, and its very upsetting. Sure. Jimmy stick around well be right back with icet, everyone as a endent because its inanimate people ask me what sort of a person should become a celebrity accountant. And, i tell them, nobody should. Hey, buddy. Whats the damage . I bought it the waterfall . Nope a new volkswagen. A volkswagen . I think were having a breakthrough here welcome to caesars palace. Thank you. They will, but with accident forgiveness allstate wont raise your rates just because of an accident. Cut is that good . No you were talking about allstate and. I just. When i. Accident forgiveness from allstate. Click or call for a quote today. burke neigjust an app. Ness whatcha working on. Its called signal from farmers, and it could save you up to fifteen percent on your auto insurance. Simply sign up, drive and save. We are farmers. Bumpadum, bumbumbumbum red, blue, 16 percent undecided. Here we are a nation divided. But 2020 had us shook. So we gave the world another look. And saw a future of differences celebrated. Every voice heard and ade. cause love should never have to hide. Theres a world of possibility that cant exist with you versus me. It will take work, thats indisputable. But oh man it could be beautiful. This world where we are we. jimmy our first guest stars in the very Popular Television series law order svu. He is also in a new movie equal standard which is streaming now and body count has released its no lives matter here is the one and only icet oh, look who it is so good to see oh, my gosh, hi, chanel. Hi do you remember me look how cute. Jimmy jimmy youre beautiful she say hi, jimmy jimmy how old are you . 4 jimmy 4 years old. Oh, my gosh. I remember you when you were a a baby when your mom came here to the show i didnt hold you, but i saw you. Your mom was holding you oh, my gosh, youre beautiful. A little princess. Look, right before this started, she tells me, i got something to do. You got something to do . Or are you going sit with daddy . Okay. I got something to do. Hey, its a girl, man. Jimmy i have a feeling well see her again. Yeah, yeah. Jimmy thank you so much for coming on the show its so good to see your face. Where were you when everything got shut down . Were you in new york i was actually on the set of law order. We were filming, and they had filmed one scene that i wasnt in, and i was getting ready, and i was in my wardrobe, and they just came in and they said they pulling the plug. And im like wow i think this whole thing kind of happened to everybody the same everybody is like is it that serious . Kind of hit us like a wave and it kept coming so jimmy and then i know your fatherinlaw came down with covid. Im so sorry to hear about that is that where you are now . Yes well, usually we have a family home in arizona. Thats where cocos mother, father, sisters, all the nieces and nephews live here. So usually when we have hiatus, i leave new york, i come to arizona, im reaching any friends in california. This is kind of where we post up and we stayed in new york for two and a half, about two months, and the numbers were just spiking 800 people a day, you know, 900 people a day and i was like you know what were going to try to go to arizona anyway so we came to arizona thinking it was safer and it spiked here when we got to arizona, nobody was Wearing Masks. They were walking around, and im coming from new york, so im already terrified yo, this is not okay i hate to say it, but cocos dad is a harleydavidson riding no masking type of dude, you know he stayed home for nine days with covid by the time he went to the hospital, he had pneumonia in two lungs. Jimmy oh, my gosh. They held him for about three days in the icu, and then they call you and they make those next of kin calls where we thats when its scary we might have to put him on the ventilator jimmy oh my goodness and it took him a month to make it out of the hospital, god bless him. But now he is home, but his lungs are damaged indefinitely but covid attacks your lungs and it can really leave your lungs ruined jimmy gosh thank you to everybody who i mean, i put it on social media because there are still nonbelievers and people look at me oh, i see you tough. One guy wrote me he said you seem scared. I said yeah, im s ive made it through so much in my life. I dont want the die because of this, especially with a new daughter so, yeah, im aware and im concerned, and im cautious, you know you want to call that scared, call it scared jimmy are more people Wearing Masks now in arizona whats the scene oh, absolutely. Absolutely see, what happens is when its just announced, nobody reacts. But when you get these numbers up, more people know people that are in the hospital and that triggers the mask quicker than anything else its easy to say oh, i cant catch it but once you know people jimmy, i know about eight people that have actually passed away. So, i mean, i dont have, i dont need much more proof than that to know i dont want to play with it, you know so this is really taking a a toll you know jimmy its awful im so sorry im just hoping with all the great minds in the entire world, since this is a global pandemic, and all these geniuses we have, that sooner or later theyll figure a way to treat it. Im not really a vaccine guy, because you got to be healthy to take the vaccine, and im like ive been vaccining up to this point. But when they finally can treat it correctly, i think well all take a sigh of relief and well know that there is a lot more hope than this experimental stage were in right now jimmy absolutely how have you been spending the time in quarantine it was hard for me to start off. Because like yourself, im used to working every day and everyones into their routine. So i had to stop and then psychologically, i was like but everybody is stopping, you know . Jimmy yeah but it was rough for at least the first month, because im just not used to it. Im used to getting up and going. Jimmy how is coco with it . Well, they appreciate me being home jimmy do they . They appreciate me being home, you know and fortunately, im not im put it like this. Even though im unemployed, im not in the same boat as people that live from check to check. Jimmy yeah you know . And i put a little bit of money away for a rainy day i didnt know it was going to be a rainy year. Jimmy no one planned on this no one said a rainy year. At the end of the day, im just i just slowed down a a lot, you know . I tried to becoe in other ways. Jimmy yeah what are you going to do . Jimmy well, you have a a beautiful family so you get to appreciate them. Oh, my gosh, chanel is gorgeous she is growing up. She is 4 you know, she gets kids adapt to whatever it is. So you tell them coronavirus, they go coronavirus. She puts on her mask first i mean, this leaves to go outside you need a mask, because this is the age she is so she doesnt know anything else so she is growing up in this situation. So kids really adapt quicker than we do jimmy yeah theyre not really stuck in their ways you know she is like daddy is home every day. This is great. This is cool jimmy when we go out, wear a mask youre just doing, yeah. Its what it is jimmy i saw an Instagram Photo you posted of her with a a little kitten. Is that yours . Oh, yeah. Well, no, her cousins got a a kitten, and i dont even think chanel even understood what kittens were. So of course she wants the kitten, but were just going to let it do its course, you know jimmy really youre going to stick to your ground shes getting one tomorrow. [ laughter ] jimmy hey, you stick around i want to talk about your movie and the song and everything and all that hey, man, i guess im so busy, jimmy, ive got so much to do right now, i mean, ive got to go. Jimmy well make it real quick. More with icet when we come back stick around, everybody. Yeah, im married. Does it matter . Youd do that for me . Really . Yeah, id like that. Who are you talking to . Uh, its jake from state farm. Sounds like a really good deal. Jake from state farm at 3 in the morning . Who is this . Its jake from state farm. What are you wearing, jake from state farm . Uh. Khakis. Hey, do they ever ask you what youre wearing . Uh. Yeah. Red sweater, button down shirt. Like a good neighbor, state farm is there. Five dollar, five dollar footlong. Now, only in the subway® app or online, any footlong is a five dollar footlong when you buy 2. Even the new bbq rib. Subway®. Eat fresh. But i bet i love kelloggs frosted flakes more than you. Come on buddy my picture is on the box. Its the truth tony tie breaker, whos got the deeper voice . Theyre grrreat i win i win ohhh, youre cute when youre wrong. Cool . Drop the taco. Get in the car. Does this sentra feel like a compromise to you . Wait, what. . The handling is good, right . No compromise there. Nope watch this. Umm. Bbrie. Brie brie rear automatic braking. So if this Nissan Sentra isnt gonna compromise, why should you . Youre right atta girl. The allnew Nissan Sentra. With more standard safety features than any other car in its class. With more standard safety features itchy . Scratchy . Family not get charmin ultra strong. It just cleans better, so your family can use less. Hello clean bottom enjoy the go with charmin. Cheei must be dreaming. Read. No, no. Its actually a real thing. You should try it. Its delicious. Mmmm. New stuffed crazy bread with crazy sauce, just 3. 49 its not a dream pizza pizza but you also want to not spend money. Get 7 cups free with 7rewards. Is that what you want . Oh, we know. We might know you better than you know yourself. 7eleven. Always open. Jimmy welcome back, everybody. Were talking with icet hey, jimmy, have you been messing with any of these zoom backgrounds . Check this one out like i can be in jail. I could be at a concert. Jimmy oh, my gosh. I could be on the beach this thing is cool i didnt even know zoom existed. Coy be in a mansion. Jimmy oh, thats a nice place. Thats my apartment. See i got another one too. This has got a pool table. Jimmy oh, man. I didnt even know zoom existed, dude. This is the new jimmy you have streaming now equal standard. Tell me about this equal standard is a movie about all the stuff going on now with the black lives matter movement, all the stuff that people are protesting against. Its about a black cop who gets he runs into an altercation with other police while he is under cover, or he is plainclothes, and both the cops shoot each other. And it just shows how it plays out, all these different dimensions of situations inside the police departments, on the streets. And its shot in a way that you see everyones perspective its not a onesided film. So if you want to check it, its called equalstandardmovie. Com its a great movie, and ive note nothing but rave reviews from it. Jimmy i also heard you on the radio with body count. You rereleased no lives matter. Can you tell me what was behind the rerelease of this . The situation, you know if people have followed me, my whole career, its always been antiracism, trying to explain you the complications of living and growing up in the hood and the community. Just me kind of walking you through someone elses life so you could see it from their perspective. Because i believe most of this stuff is perspective you just its easy to hate something that you dont truly understand how they see it so i did the song no lives matter. And in no lives matter i break down that even though racism is a problem, i believe its a lot more to do with class too at the same time lets say law order. Well Say Something like, theyre from the upper east side, so tread lightly. What were really saying is they have money and they can fight us so if you go in the hood, treat them any kind of way because they cant fight back. So i think that if somebody pulls you over, jimmy that know who you are. They know you can cause issues and problems theyre going treat you a little different than somebody who doesnt have a dime, and they know that there will be no repercussions so in the congress no lives matter, i say it doesnt matter what color you are, you know, black, brown, red, poor whites that they call trash, you know, its when it comes to the poor, nobodys important. No lives matter. So we thought we would put it back out because people wanted something dealing with the times. Its very important song jimmy i want to show a clip from the music video here is icet in no lives matter. Take a look at this. Dont fall for the bait and switch, racism is real but not it whoever cant fight back, but now we got to change all that the people have had enough, right now its them against us this is ugly to the core, when it comes to the poor, no lives matter jimmy thanks again for coming on the show you are one in a million, buddy. Its always great to see you and kiss that baby and hug your wife say hi to coco for me, okay . I thought she was going to do a return. Chanel jimmy come on. Where is part two . Here she comes. Jimmy there she comes. Come on. Chanel, thank you. I want to say goodbye to you goodbye bye jimmy my thanks to icet well be right back with Jack Whitehall after the break. Stick around, everybody. Come on. Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh look at that oh, my gosh, she is beautiful. My name is christine payne, im an associate here at amazon. Step onto the blue line, sir. This device is giving us an Accurate Temperature check. Youre good to go. I have to take care of my coworkers. Thats how i am. I have a son, and he said, one day im gonna be like you, im gonna help people. Youre good to go, maam. I hope so. This is my passion. If i can take of everyone who is sick out there, i would do it in a heartbeat. If i can take of everyone im sexy and i know it e, girl look at that body new force flex plus, bright colors febreze freshness. New force flex plus, bright colors and here we have another burst pipe in denmark. If you look close. Jamie, are there any interesting photos from your trip . Ouch, okay. Huh, boring, boring, you dont need to see that. Oh, here we go. Can you believe my client steig had never heard of a home and auto bundle or that renters could bundle . Wait, youre a lawyer . Only licensed in stockholm. What is happening . Jamie anyway, game show, kumite, cinderella story. You know karate . No, alan, i practice muay thai, completely different skillset. woman is there vo atural litter that actuallyat tidy cats,. Your wish. Is our latest littervention. Naturally strong, with odorabsorbing activated charcoal. 100 natural, 100 powerful. Theres a tidy cats for that want restand schools . Pen . Want the economy to get back on track . Youre not alone. And you can help make it happen. Stay 6 feet apart. Wash your hands. Wear a mask every time you leave your home. Choose to join the fight against covid19. Do your part. Slow the spread. Hi. Whats on your mind . In. Can you help keep these guys protected online . Easy. Connect to the xfi gateway. What about wireless data options for the family . You can customize and save. What about internet speeds that can keep up with my gaming . Lets hook you up with the Fastest Internet from xfinity. And now with our stores reopening, were putting Healthy Practices in place. Come visit a store today. Stop in or book an appointment online at a time that works for you. Now thats simple, easy, awesome. Ask. Shop. Discover at your local xfinity store today. Jimmy my next guest is a a very, very funny comedian. His latest standup special im only joking is available now on netflix here is Jack Whitehall jack, looking great, buddy this is so lovely a hans to put on a suit. That has been a rarity of late, and some human contact as well, which is just a joy. Jimmy you look like youre feeling better i know that you had coronavirus. Im sorry about that what was it like i had it early. I was like i had pretom hanks coronavirus before celebrities were even getting it and i had it in the first week of lockdown. Yeah, i had it pretty bad. I think im quite fit and healthy, and id seen my parents just before the lockdown started, so i was terrified i gave it to them. Yeah, its real. Wash your hands. Wear mask. Jimmy how is your dad doing, by the way . We always talk about your dad when youre on the show. Yeah, its been weird i havent been able to hug him for 31 years, and now. Jimmy we got to work on that we got to work on that are you able to see him at all do you get to see him or social distance i actually did a fathers days special for the bbc, which we filmed at his house i was in the garden and he was in the house and i did a load of fathers days surprises for him. So i got a big brass band outside his bedroom window and played his Favorite Song although its not his Favorite Song at 6 00 in the morning. And then i was worried he wasnt going to be able to travel the world with me, which is something he loves doing, and i was sad he was going to be stuck in the house. And he was a little like the old man from up. My Second Surprise to him is i put 300 balloons on the roof of his house. I was like this is amazing this is an amazing fathers day gift jimmy that is brilliant. How you not being able to travel and see other people . Because youre always out doing stuff. Are you getting used to being by yourself . Yeah, i mean now our lockdown is sort of over and people are going back into real life gyms are open this week, which is like a big thing for i mean, not for me, im not much of a gym guy jimmy oh really . Thank you for sounding surprised there. Jimmy thats my accent that was exceptional acting work, jimmy. Ill put it down to a delay on the connection [ laughter ] really jimmy no, no youre very fit. Unbelievable for a split second the suit is cut very well, but underneath there i have a body that looks like its been drawn by a child i just go to the gym, though im not like a weights guy i actually have a story. Ill tell you. I was in a gym once. It reminds me because im wearing these. I dont know about you i have this problem with air pods i do it all the time now i dont realize that my air pods have not synced to my mobile phone and my music is playing to everyone. Do you ever do that . Jimmy absolutely, yeah like the bluetooth doesnt kick in and youre there and everyone is looking at you its awful, because i also have terrible music taste have i it in the gym when guy to the gym, i find a little exercise bike in the corner, i pop on a hoodie. I get incline. 5 and i put on something mellow like an audio book, i like classical music, film scores. Jimmy really and then i have a little pootle, like a little poot until the corner, like a little old lady cycling to the grocery store. I was doing it and there with the hoodie on my face and everyone is looking at me. And like my initial thought for some reason was wow, they must all be looking over here because quadzilla is burning some serious rubber. And then a moment when everyone in this gym is a looking at me as i was on a bike, hoodie up, air pods in playing to the entire gym the theme song from e. T. Jimmy youre elliott im elliott i cannot go back jimmy thats perfect that is perfect. Oh, my gosh. Hey, i love the special. Its called im only joking. In the special you talk about your worst case, i dont want the spoil it, but it involves the royal family, and its a a great story. Its so embarrassing and awesome. What would you think is your second worst gig i think my second worst gig should have been the best gig ever, but i made the fatal error of thinking it would be that and its when i go off to perform for my soccer team, aston. Jimmy and . Youre a big sports fan the red sox have, you performed for them jimmy no, i would never do that, i dont think. No i would never do that. I needed that advice. Because i was young. I was naive. I was this will be amazing i was asked to perform at the Christmas Party for my soccer team jimmy i dont think the red sox even know who i am well, this Team Definitely did not know who i was i arrived to the Christmas Party. I went into the venue. The organizer took me down stairs to a Bowling Alley, and i thought oh, where is the stage that im performing on she went oh, its not so much a gig, its theyre here to bowl we just thought wed give you a microphone and you can crack some jokes whilst theyre bowling that is definitely not a thing. Jimmy it hurts me just hearing this i know. As someone who has done comedy, you can understand how horrific this was i stood there with a microphone at the side of a bowling lane as all of my heroes bowled, and i was like heckling them from the side none of them knew i was a comedian or that i had become booked to do standup. They thought i was an employee of the Bowling Alley theyre looking over this Bowling Alley guy is a little over familiar it got worse, because after the bowling, they went into the next room where they had a a karaoke machine set up that was the next part of the evenings festivities. Because i had been on the microphone, they assumed i was employed by the venue. One of my heroes comes up to me oh, here is a list of all the songs we want played im oh, no, no, no im the comedian can you adjust i became the karaoke dj for the rest of the night. One of the press comes over and complained that the pizza bites are cold i dont work here. I am a professional comedian i play wembley i was getting their coats by the end of the night it was horrific, jimmy jimmy also in the special, i love there is an awkward moment with two humans in the audience, if you know what im talking about. Can you explain what happened . And that was it was a magic moment it was yeah, the comedy gods were looking down on me i was doing a bit in the show where i was talking about safe sex, you know. Safety first and i was telling a cautionary tale about a friend of mine who had had a onenight stand, and he got the one that you cant get rid of true story, true story i tell that bit. I look out into the front row, and i see this old guy turn to his daughter and give her a dig in the ribs. And i should have let it go. But i couldnt i was like wow, did you just nudge your daughter after i did that joke . And he looked really mortified and i looked at the daughter, and the daughter was giving the full beyonce, pointing at the wedding ring, pointing at his wife the camera caught 50,000 people in hysterics i couldnt speak i was so embarrassed that i called out this guy. And to be fair, if youve got a creepy age gap in a relationship, do not sit in the front row of a comedy show for a netflix live recording youre only asking for it. But its in the show i mean, hopefully they are still a couple and i havent ruined their lives but i couldnt speak watch it i was wearing so much makeup, you can genuinely see me change color, i was that embarrassed. Jimmy i want to show everyone a clip from the special. Here is a look at im only joking. No one in this entire 10,000 strong arena has ever made a a decent piece of toast on the hotel Conveyor Belt toaster. Unfathomably [ bleep ] and handily fitted with a small window so you can witness your misery play out in slow motion first time through still bread. Second time through. Barely warm. Third time through quick jimmy my thanks to Jack Whitehall. Jack, i miss you, buddy. His special im only joking is on netflix now. I appreciate you being on the show, pal. Thank you so much. I love you. Im going to go get a drink. Bye, jimmy jimmy bye. I love that well be right back with a performance from Charlie Wilson stick around, everybody. Look limu someone out there needs help customizing their Car Insurance with liberty mutual, so they only pay for what they need. False alarm. Only pay for what you need. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Cheei must be dreaming. Read. No, no. Its actually a real thing. You should try it. Its delicious. Mmmm. New stuffed crazy bread with crazy sauce, just 3. 49 its not a dream pizza pizza red, blue, 16 percent undecided. Here we are a nation divided. But 2020 had us shook. So we gave the world another look. And saw a future of differences celebrated. Every voice heard and advocated. Where everyone can show their pride. cause love should never have to hide. Theres a world of possibility that cant exist with you versus me. It will take work, thats indisputable. But oh man it could be beautiful. This world where we are we. swipe, lift, spin, dry. Slam, pan, still. Fresh move, move, move, move aaaaand still fresh. Degree. Ultimate freshness activated when you move. Ulticheezit snapd. How does it taste . Its so thin, crispy and cheesy. And i just want to keep eating it. Ive done it and eating it. they love em snapd. So good, we may run out of cheese. Im looking for my client. Imim so sorry. Nt. Hey hey man, youre here you dont trust me here in vegas, do you . Uh, well, i thought we had a breakthrough with the volkswagen. We did, yeah we broke through. Thats the volkswagen . Thats the cross sport. Wow. Seatbelts please just tell me where were going. Tonight, try pure zzzs all night. Unlike other sleep aids, our extended release melatonin helps you sleep longer. And longer. Zzzquil pure zzzs all night. Fall asleep. Stay asleep. Five dollar. Five dollar footlong. Piled high with veggies. The new barbecue rib, or any footlong, is just 5 dollars when you buy 2. Only in the subway® app. Guys guys safe drivers save 40 safe drivers save 40 safe drivers save 40 thats safe drivers save 40 . It is, thats safe drivers save 40 . Hes right there. Its him safe drivers do save 40 . Click or call for a quote today. [10th gen intel bong] jimmy performing the song one i got from his upcoming album. Here is Charlie Wilson ooh yea when she wal through the mall they be turning their heads when she puts on a dress you know she knockin em dead as fine as go can make em and whenever she dance she never misses a beat im holding onto her hand she knows that im lost in her vibration ooh after all this time it just gets bette just gets Better Believe when i say that you can have mansions and phantoms but aint no woman like the one i got you can have rollie and trophies but aint no woman like the one i got you can have models hit the lotto bu aint no woman like the one i got you can have everything youve ever seen but aint no woman like the one i got she can hav what she wants i put it all in a ba i like the way that she flaunt she gotta work what she ha there aint no competition and at the end of the day she give th best of her love she always knows what to say i place nobody above he and loving her is my mission ooh after all this tim it just gets better just gets bette believe when i say you can have mansion and phantoms but aint no woma like the one i got you can have rollies and trophies but aint no woma like the one i got you can have model hit the lotto but aint no woma like the one i got you can have everythin youve ever seen but aint no woma like the one i got her touch is amazing her love knocks me off my feet yeah those good conversations she got my heart she got my soul im telling you all i know i you can have mansion and phantoms but aint no woma like the one i got you can have rollies and trophies but aint no woma like the one i got you can have model hit the lotto but aint no woma like the one i got you can have everythin youve ever seen but aint no woma like the one i got you can have mansion and phantoms but aint no woma like the one i got you can have rollies and trophies but aint no woma like the one i got you can have model hit the lotto but aint no woma like the one i got you can have everythin youve ever seen but aint no woma like the one i got jimmy thank you to Charlie Wilson more tonight show when we come back, everyone. We made usaa insurance for veterans like liz and mike. An army family who is always at the ready. So when they got a little surprise. Two . They didnt panic. They got a bigger car for their soontobebigger family. After shopping around for insurance, they called usaa who helped find the right coverage for them and even some muchneeded savings. That was the easy part. Usaa insurance is made the way liz and mike need it easy. Jimmy thank you all for watching stay safe out there. Wash your hands. Dont touch your face. Well see you tomorrow goodnight, everybody announcer tonight on late night with Seth Meyers David schwimmer, creator and star of a black lady sketch show, robin thede, an allnew closer look, featuring the 8g band with fred armisen and now, Seth Meyers Seth hows everyone doing tonight . I set an alarm yesterday morning for 1 30 in the afternoon to remind me about a phone call but i accidentally hit a. M. Instead of p. M so it went off in the middle of the night and long story short, were getting a divorce. Im just kidding, but our lawyer isnt. Lets get to t