Nothing is everything mahatma gandhis former home said trump, cool, wheres he ask your dermatologist about skyrizi. Live now . [ laughter ] nicer place . [ light laughter ] disgraced movie mogul, Harvey Weinstein was convicted hundred bands in my pocket, its on me today in a Sexual Assault trial. Ah, you mean the walker didn on me yeah, your grandmama probably know me know me work its a moment when i show up, got em sayin, wow [ laughter ] oh, man, hes really, really new doritos flamin hot limon. Going to have to [ cheers and applause i lied. As a strategy, hes going to have to step it up at sentencing it dramatic choir music up, dramatic choir music and just arrive in a hearse. [ laughter ] President Trump on friday dramatic choir music attacked the south korean movie parasite for winning oscar for best picture and claimed, it should only have been allowed to compete in the foreign film category. Yeah, because if you want to do its the rush of relaxation. Business in the the united shtates. Introducing the allnew lincoln corsair. Seth you should speak the laguesh. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause is being relocated after residents complained that birds were being too aggressive and defecating on roads. [ light laughter ] incidentally, the peacocks had the same complaint about florida residents. [ laughter ] this used to be a nice town. [ laughter ] kfc has launched a new chicken sandwich that uses glazed doughnuts in place of buns so, no matter what you order, youre getting breasts [ laughter ] yeah, it takes a [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause worth the wait officials at a library in california are upset after recently discovering that an adult film who im guessing in the friction section . [ laughter ] myself [ fastpaced drumming ] [ laughter ] producers have announced that the sitcom friends will air a reunion special on hbos new streaming service [ cheers and applause later this year. Fisnt just about polar bears. When asked why theyre bringing were fighting for our lives, the show back, producers explained they were on a were fighting for clean air and clean water. Break. [ laughter ] thats why i wrote the law to send billions from polluters to communities suffering the most. And finally, a high school in england is facing criticism and only one candidate for after handing out a pamphlet to president was with us back then, students listing 101 ways to tom steyer. And hes still fighting for us, show someone that you love them other than having sex, including pledging to make clean air and things, like, each suck on one clean water a right for everyone, end of a long piece of regardless of your zip code. Thats the truth. Spaghetti, or as its more thats tom steyer. Commonly known, doggy style. Im tom steyer and i approve this message. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show tonight he is the host of the lead as announcer theliseek eth moss well as state of the union on cnn. Jake tapper is back. [ cheers and applause travis kelce and music from mt. Joy im always so happy to have our friend jake here head over to itunes to subscribe shes a very funny writer and comedian who you can see on her youe. Et get oyo Jacqueline Novak is back [ cheers and applause limu emu doug always a delight to have jacqueline here. And we will have music from and now for their service to the community, Caroline Rose. So its a great, great show. We present limu emu doug with this key to the city. So happy to have you all here. [ applause ] before we get to all the wonderful guests, Bernie Sanders won the nevada caucus in a its an honor to tell you that landslide on saturday and now Liberty Mutual customizes your Car Insurance some pundits in the democratic so you only pay for what you need. Establishment are panicking and now we need to get back to work. About the possibility that he might be the democratic nominee. [ applause and band playing ] for more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause only pay for what you need. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Seth bernie has now won the popular vote in the first three primary contests, making him the clear frontrunner and now politico is reporting Bernie Sanders has sent the democratic establishment into panic mode and you can tell, because the general tenor of the coverage on cable news has gone Something Like this nbc news projects Bernie Sanders the winner in nevada what the [ bleep ] is going on [ laughter ] seth pundits across cable news have been freaking out about bernies rise. For example, you might remember New Hampshire, the story wasnt that he was winning, but that if you use pundit math, he was actually losing. I dont understand how bernie is considered a frontrunner in New Hampshire 52 of voters wanted either, Pete Buttigieg or Amy Klobuchar or joe biden moderates are winning. Why wasnt buttigiegs win in iowa a bigger banner headline . He also has upset Bernie Sanders in both states the story of the night, Amy Klobuchar now in third place. The story of the Sanders Campaign so far this year is how much ground hes lost from four years ago. Seth thats right. By winning states, bernie is actually losing ground [ laughter ] you see, as all expert pundits know, you dont want to win the first two, thats ro you come os needy, or as the kids would say thirsty. [ laughter ] you want to throw everyone off by losing playing it cool, off to the side until someone finally says, who is that fellow with zero delegates . [ laughter ] [ applause ] no, seriously [ applause ] no, seriously, who is that vo i want to rock rock oh, all right. I want to rock rock see, according to pundits, you dont actually want to win the first two states like bernie did. I want to rock rock you want to follow the joe biden path, come in fourth in iowa, fifth in New Hampshire and a rock rock distant second in nevada rock rock rock rock and on top of all that, just i want to. Wander over during a crucial debate and give the frontrunner a hug. chris rock whod you expect . Sylvester Stallone i dont know. Me . Yep. [ laughter ] its the first time biden ever vo i want to rock hugged someone from an angle where they could see him coming. Rock rock rock rock [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] and not only did some pundits i want to rock insist that bernie wasnt actually the frontrunner after winning the first two states everyone said i was crazy. When i started this commute, they also created an elaborate mythology in their heads where so fifteen years ago, i got my first subaru bernie was only winning because the socalled moderates were and i did it anyway. Supposedly splitting the vote. For more than five hundred thousand miles, and they kept insisting that if my outback always got me there. The moderates would coalesce around one candidate, that candidate could beat bernie. So when it was time, of course i got a new one. Bernie sanders may have eked out the most votes in iowa, because my kids still need me. And i need them. New hampshire, but if you look at the numbers more closely, it shows a candidate hitting a ceiling. vo welcome to the allnew subaru outback. If you look at the combined percentages among centrist the the most reliable outback ever. Candidates, they do much better than the progressives. Go where love takes you. When you add the totals though, for Pete Buttigieg, vo for president. Ver Amy Klobuchar and joe biden, thats Mike Bloomberg. When you add them up last night, a middle class kid who built a Global Company from scratch. Electorate backing a moderate. Mayor of new york, rebuilding the city after the 911 terrorist attack, creating buttigieg, klobuchar and 450,000 jobs. Biden split the moderate vote running for president and on a roll. With their combined percentage workable plans to deliver on of overwhelming that of sanders Better Health care. Affordable college. Who got 26 . Job creation. Common sense plans to beat seth thats right. Trump, fix the chaos if you just combine the votes of in washington, buttigieg, biden and klobuchar and get things done. You could beat bernie. Mike im Mike Bloomberg now, all you have to do is find and i approve this message. A way to genetically combine them into candidate called the klobubuttibidechar. [ laughter ] [ t its the timeon bof the season [ applause ] its thats easy and then all then every time when love runs high you ask it a question, it has the same answer. What should we do about health care we must step forward into the future im from minnesota. Corn pop was a bad dude seth all right [ laughter ] but the reality is that most actual voters dont think like pundits. The top second choice among biden voters is actually bernie. Polls have also shown that democratic voters are overwhelmingly satisfied with their choices. They dont divide them up into lanes. They like them each for their own reasons. They like bernie for consistency on issues, like, health care they like warren for taking on big fights against special interests, like, wall street they like biden for his eight years as obamas vp. They like buttigieg for his youthful charm and charisma. They like klobuchar for her record in the senate and they like bloomberg because he pays people to like him [ laughter ] still, before nevada, many of the media were desperate to avoid calling sanders the frontrunner and in fairness, only two states, both of them mostly white, had voted in fact, even bernie bristled at the question of whether he was the frontrunner during a town of millions of americans during wall strethe recession. Advantage hall on cnn. I think it was right before New Hampshire primary, i asked you after iowa if you considered so, my wife kat and i took action. Yourself the democratic frontrunner now after New Hampshire, do you . We started a Nonprofit Community bank who cares with a simple theory [ laughter ] give people a fair deal and real economic power. Seth if bernie gets elected, his inauguration is just gonna be a fourhour open house. Invest in the community. Stop by, dont stop by in businesses owned by women and people of color. There will be cheese and crackers, but, you know, maybe in affordable housing. Eat before you come. The difference between words and actions matters. Thats a lesson politicians in washington could use right now. Say what you will [ cheers and applause im tom steyer, and i approve this message. Say what you will about the guy, but he does not care about status he has one suit that he irons by running it over with his car, i guess. [ laughter ] he shoots lay ups with two hands [ cheers and applause and hes been photographed in the middle seat in coach seth making her Television Debut performing feel the way i and that is the only time hes want from album superstar, been centrist. [ light laughter ] out on march sixth please but even the pundits and bernie welcome to the show, himself cannot deny his clear Caroline Rose. Status as the frontrunner after an overwhelming victory in nevada on saturday the first diverse state to votes [ cheers and applause seemed to win virtually every demographic. Sanders indeed won a smashing across the board victory according to our entrance poll, he won among men and women, College Graduates and nonCollege Graduates, liberals and moderates conservatives, union and nonunion members, people who decided early and people who decided late. In short, sanders crushed it take a look here among selfdescribed moderate or conservative democrats thats a third of this electorate in nevada this is what youre seeing sanders is actually leading nbc wall street journal poll asked, who are you most enthusiastic or comfortable about when it comes to the democratic nominee . Ooh i got this feelin Bernie Sanders leads with 65 . Maybe its just madnes im so in love with he was powered by young voters, hispanic voters, very myself its so romantic liberal and those who supported medicare for all i see em staring as i walk down the lin seth damn, he won union voters, nonunion voters, young im looking good voters, hispanic voters, men, women, liberals and i dont think its a crime conservatives. But everybodys so quic and based on this photo, he even to stand up and sa did well with former president s over 70. You gotta be this wa [ light laughter ] or that way gotta ask yoursel and yet, still cable news reacted with shock at bernies is this really wha i wanted success in nevada. For example, as the results were everybodys so quick coming in, and it was clear that to cry out and sa young voters and people of color you gotta ge were going overwhelmingly for sanders, one anchor at a caucus yourself togethe well, baby site audibly sighed as she reported the results watch me freak ou largely people of color, of feel the way i want to those the majority are latino. Feel the way i want to and they are clearly, at least feel the way from eyeballing it, strongly in i want to fee favor of Bernie Sanders with feel the way i want to joe biden coming in second feel the way i want to feel the way [ laughter ] i want to fee seth oh, my god with the sigh [ laughter ] im gonna feel the way feel the way shes reporting on bernie feel the way winning a caucus site the way feel the wa feel the way, yeah you tell your parents why your dip [ bleep ] boyfriend got im gonna feel the way fired from his job [ laughter ] feel the way he well, he was using the feel the wa feel the way feel the way, yeah copier and from eyeballing it, it looks like he [ sighs he photocopied his ass and put it up in the break room. [ laughter ] and then [ applause ] and then, a prominent democratic let me show you what i go strategist and pundit started spitting out on tv James Carville, for example, has come o been showing up nonstop on msnbc warning that, nominating bernie would destroy the party and even let me show you what i got suggesting that russian president Vladimir Putin was rooting for him. Theres only so much that a person can tak too much abuse and somebodyll brea i took a pill its going to be the end of days and i hopped on a plane and im neve so, i am scared to death looking back again i really am. Theres a certain part of the cause i am on a strike Democratic Party that wants us against my body and min to be a cult what once was pain im not interested in being in a is now pleasure of min cult im 75 yearsold everybodys so quick im just not a very culty person to stand up and say you gotta keep im 75 yearsold yourself together why am i hre doing this . Gotta ask yoursel because i am scared to death, thats why is this really wha i wanted the happiest person right now is about 1 15 moscow time everybodys so quic to cry out and say try to be cool about i this thing is going very well for Vladimir Putin, i promise well, baby you. Hes probably staying up watch me break down watching us right now. How are you doing, vlad . Feel the way i want to [ laughter ] feel the way i want to seth all right hes not watching, but if he feel the way was, hed probably think this was a Public Access puppet show. I want to fee [ laughter ] feel the way i want to seriously, James Carville always looks like he was released naked feel the way i want to feel the way into a louisiana goodwill and i want to fee given five minutes to pick an outfit [ laughter ] [ applause ] hows this hat look on me . Hows this hat look on me . Bad, ill take it. [ cheers and applause its all squashed up like a bug on my head, yeah like its completely lost its shape . All right, ill take it. [ light laughter ] and just as a reminder of carvilles track record, in 2008 he said, then senator obama was unelectable and attacked him to the point where even obama hit back and said, Jame Carville was well known feel the wa for spouting off his mouth without always knowing what hes talking about. In fact, obama was specifically responding to this comment carville made about hilary and obama. Feel the way and this is a real quote, if feel the way she gave him one of her cojones, feel the wa theyd both have two. Feel the way, yeah [ laughter ] ay [ audience ohs ] all right, im having trouble following the logic here so, that means she was starting feel the way with three cojones feel the wa feel the way, yeah even the most unhinged response to bernies win. Chris matthews actually compared feel the way feel the way bernies victory in nevada to feel the way the nazi invasion of france feel the wa during world war ii. Feel the way, yeah im reading last night about the fall of france in the summer of 1940 and the general renault feel the wa calls up churchill and says, feel the way its over. Feel the way feel the wa feel the way, yeah and church hill says, how can it be . You got the greatest army in europe how can it be over . [ cheers and applause he said, its over. So, i had that suppressed feeling. I cant be as wild as carville, Caroline Rose, everybody. But hes damn smart. For up coming tour dates go to and i think hes damn right on carolinerosethemusic. Com this one well be right back. [ cheers and applause seth as a general rule, anytime a man of matthews age starts a sentence with, i was reading last night about the fall in 1940, thats your cue now, we know the trump strategy to exit the conversation [ laughter ] try to win by attacking, hes like your senile grandpa screaming into the phone on distorting, dividing. Facetime, they banned me from mr. President it. Wont. Work. The golf course for not fixing my divots. This is just like 1940, when the newspapers report bloomberg is nazis. [ laughter ] all right, all right the democrat trump fears most. Talk to you later, grandpa healthcare that lets people keep and somehow their coverage if they like it. A record on job creation. [ applause ] a doable plan to combat climate somehow, this isnt even theie change. I led a complex, diverse city through 911 and i have New Hampshire, you might recall common sense plans to move matthews went on another deranged terror that had america away from chaos to something to do with communists executing him in central park or progress im Mike Bloomberg something. And i approve this message. It was so incoherent, his fellow anchor chris hayes had to chime in to offer some sense i have my own views of the word socialist and ill be glad to tell them, share them with you in private, and they back to the early 1950s. I have an attitude about them. I remember the cold war. I have an attitude toward castro i believe if castro and the reds had won the cold war, there im going to need you to. Would be executions in central never mind. Cant touch this. Park and i might have been one help of the ones getting executed and certain other people would cant touch this. Be there cheering, okay . baby cries so i have a problem with people you cant touch this. Who took the other side. I dont who Bernie Bernie new cheetos popcorn. Supports over the years. I dont know what he means by socialism. One week is denmark. This is xfinity x1. Were gonna be like denmark. Okay, thats harmless. Featuring the Emmy Awardwinning voice remote. Thats basically a capitalist streaming Services Without changing passwords and input. Country with a lot of good social welfare programs. Denmark is harmless. Live sports with realtime stats and scores. Pretty clearly in the denmark category is he yeah. Access to the most 4k content. Are you sure . How do you know . Did he tell you that and your movies and shows to go. Well, i mean, thats what he says and thats what his agenda calls for. Seth just as a reminder, the whole thing started with this. The best tv experience is the best tv value. I have my own views of the xfinity x1. Word socialist ill be glad to simple. Easy. Awesome. Tell them, share them with you in private [ laughter ] xfinity. The future of awesome. Seth Chris Matthewss is definitely a guy who says hell share his thoughts in private and talks to you in public for a full minute. Grand now we have to deal withed us this. Rs. [ laughter ] Climate Change is an emergency. Ill tell you what i think about this movie later in thats why i wrote the nations private. It sucks most progressive climate law. [ laughter ] by the way, bernie is not the and thats why im endorsing tom steyer. First strong, progressive candidate to come under fire from centrists, pundits and the democratic establishment because when big oil tried to stop our clean air laws, when Elizabeth Warren was soring in the polls and seen as the he led us to victory. Front runner, we got story after same with the keystone pipeline. Story about how wall street and democratic donors were panicking. When tom says we can save the world and do it together cable news shows, rolled one clip after another of billionaires freaking out about believe him. Her plans. Im tom steyer and i approve this message. And thats because they perceived both bernie and warren as threats to their livelihoods and theyre way of thinking. Regardless of how you feel about any particular candidates, if youre a pundit, you might ask [ cheers and applause seth my thanks to jake tapper, Jacqueline Novak. Caroline rose, everybody why so many voters are flocking to Bernie Sanders. Michelle baptiste and of course and yet, when you ask them if theyre at least curious to find the 8g band. Stay tuned for lilly singh. Out why bernie is doing so well, well see you tomorrow they say who cares [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause seth this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause well be right back with jake tapper, everybody [ cheers and applause announcer for more of seths closer looks, be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. professor sound power is defined as thought a surface the product of sound pressure and a component of the partial daniel tonight, on a little late with lilly singh. Velocity at a point. [sounds] kazoo sound lilly why do people knock when they already know the doors locked . [ laughter ] its not like im gonna change my mind and be like, oh, this must be important. Come on in [ laughter ] daniel and lilly please welcome, sofia carson and lana condor [ cheers and applause my one true love is the rock. Lilly the recent video dwayne made is amazing check it out whats up, lana [ screaming dj here. Lilly told me that you were a guest on her show. Lilly lets play dancing clues. Pregnant hungry. Lilly sad. Hungry. Lilly hungry hungry hippo. mom vo we got a subaru to give him some ato reconnect and be together. Lilly hungry [ laughter ] i genuinely have no idea what youre saying. And once we did that, we realized his greatest adventure hes a dolphin. Is just beginning. Daniel coming up vo welcome to the most adventurous outback ever. Tom steyer will beat donald the allnew subaru outback. Go where love takes you. [sfx bullwhip cracks] old town road by lil nas xs yeah, im gonna take my horse to the old town road, im gonna ride til i cant no more doritos® cool ranch just got cooler. Trump on the economy. We do it every night. Every night. I live alone, but i still do it every night. Right after dinner. Definitely after meatloaf. Like clockwork. Do it run your dishwasher every night with cascade platinum. A load with as few as 8 dishes, is all it takes to save water. An Energy Star Certified dishwasher uses less than four gallons per cycle. While handwashing uses that, every two minutes. So, do it. Run your dishwasher every night with cascade platinum. The surprising way to save water. Youve been hearing a lot about 5g. But theres 5g. And then theres verizon 5g. Were building the most powerful 5g expetwoe s. And its rolling out in cities across the country. So people can experience speeds that ultra wideband can deliver. 1. 7 gigs here in houston. 1. 8 gigs here in frigid omaha. Almost 2 gigs here in los angeles. Thats outrageous. Its like an eightlane highway compared to a twoland dirt road. [ cheers and applause seth welcome back, everybody. Give it up for the 8g band right over there [ cheers and applause sitting in with us tonight on the drums, she is currently playing with singersongwriter adam lambert whose selftitled album is out now for more information check out adamofficial. Com and be sure to follow her on instagram. Michelle baptiste is here thank you so much for being with us [ cheers and applause our first guest tonight is cnns chief washington correspondent he hosts the lead weekday afternoons as well as the Network Sunday show state of the union. Please welcome back to our show, our friend, jake tapper, everybody. [ cheers and applause rs and applause seth welcome back. Its great to be here seth im always very happy and we were texting. And well text about what were going to talk about when you come and and then somethi seth donald trump name checked you at a rally yes and it wasnt nice seth no. It wasnt nice. Seth it wasnt nice at all lets take a look and then and just tell me what happens in your brain when the president says this about you at a rally okay. Jake tapper today, he put out i know you dont like him. Who likes him . Who the hell i think his wife likes him, actually i really believe she does. [ laughter ] seth so theres a couple of crazy things there he wasnt actually bringing you up to disparage you. Because he then was going to talk about reporting that you had done that was actually reflected well on him. Yeah, well yeah. Or less horribly seth less horribly yeah i had some reporting that suggested that a somebody who briefed the House Intelligence Committee maybe overstated the case in terms of whether or not the russians preferred him or just, you know, thought they could deal with him, you know,p like, oh no, the Intelligence Community thinks that, you know, they prefer him again. And so it was actually kind of but see, whats so symbolic of how he gets in his own way hes so driven by vengeance seth yeah. That even when hes going to cite my reporting, he starts off by telling everybody that im completely unlikable [ laughter ] this guys horrible dont listen to a word he has to say. He said something good [ laughter ] for for me. Seth well, i you know, what i note is it when you watch the clip, one of the things that happened is his the people at his rallies, you know, it is they like having villains oh, yeah. Seth and so when he mentions jake tapper, they start to boo yeah. There was a stirring in the crowd. Seth there was a stirring. And so then he has to revert back to what hes done in the past right seth like, yeah, bad guy. Bad guy, jake. Anyway, like he said although he backed off a little he backed off who likes him . Who the hell likes him well, his wife likes him seth that i thought was nice [ laughter ] i thought that was really nice there are some people where he doesnt even bring up their spouses. Yeah. Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] yeah. Seth how did your wife react to that . Well, you you know my wife seth jenn, wonderful do you think she likes me seth i do. [ laughter ] like at least one of them, she seemed into you. [ laughter ] yeah. Im told that she likes me seth yeah. But i need a second source. Seth yeah. So just a journalistic seth but you couldnt report [ talking over each other does she does did she call you after it happened . You know, its so funny its so this is where we are now. Five years ago, ten years ago if Something Like this had happened, a president of the United States insulted me and brought my wife into it, then like i would have immediately gotten a phone call from my wife can you believe it . Okay h haeah. [ laughter ] im like i texted her. And im like, you know, the president just insulted me. Shes like, yeah, okay, whatever. [ laughter ] and im like, no and he brought you into it. And shes like, what . I sent her the clip. And shes like, oh, thats so funny. I havent i hadnt heard that. Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] its all just its like, you know, living in some crappy making noise and by the, you know you dont even hear it by the first week seth yeah. Its just like seth yeah. Its just like, oh, the president is insulting you and questioning your marriage seth right in front of an entire world. And like, oh, really . Okay. Seth yeah. Anyway seth and then your parents come and visit your dorm room and theyre like, thats banging. And youre like, is it . Cant hear it [ laughter ] cant hear it. Seth i had no idea its just noise seth you know, there is the very i think there whether or not russian interference is going to be pro one candidate or the other, it does seem like just causing chaos, causing mayhem. Theyre succeeding. Seth causing doubt theyre succeeding. Seth they succeeded. Yeah. Seth and theres no reason to think just because they so effectively use technology, and that it wont be more effective four years on from 2016. How do you go about reporting on the elections when you have when you know theres this undercurrent happening we dont truly know many of the details. Yeah, no. I mean, first of all, i think that 2016 was horrible, but education for a lot of us. You know, the first time that the dnc emails were hacked and then released through wikileaks, the Clinton Campaign came out and said, you know, we think its the russians. But nobody in the Obama Administration was saying that publicly so it was there was an entire world that didnt know that the russians did this sort of thing. Now we know. We have more education we have more information and i think one of the things is you have to be aware that a lot of the stuff on social media is just not real or its lies and its just something that we all have to keep in mind, whether its your grandparents reading things that they see on facebook or seth yeah. Not yours specifically. Seth no, exactly yeah, yeah [ light laughter ] but or, you know or people on twitter who seem like real people and then it turns out they are not actually real people and they say that the russians this year are going to get even more sophisticated because they are going to do stuff from inside the United States, so its not even as detectable as doing it from outside. Seth you know, i think one of the reasons it is so effective is that we, not just as americans but more as human beings, you want to believe things you read that serve your own messaging. And so you dont have to be that effective, it strikes me, to trick someone as long as youre saying what they want to hear. Well, people always want to believe the narrative that theyve bought into. In fact, when i was reporting thing that helped President Trump theoretically on friday, it was really astounding to see how many people who wanted to believe the worst, that the Intelligence Community had briefed that the russians had a preference which is true and that is was true it was definitely accurate as opposed to some National Security official saying, hey, this briefer got ahead of her skis. It was really amazing to see how many people just completely started attacking the National Security columnists and commentators, whatever. Because people want to believe what they want to believe. Theres also just the impetus that people people are generally inclined to trust people seth yeah. The person in front ofclined tov you is not lying and, you know, even if we are being hit with a barrage of lies day in and day out seth yeah. Well, one of the ts e you did a really nice piece yesterday about the fact that post impeachment donald trump, many republicans when they voted to not impeach said that we do feel like this will be a teachable moment for him hes learned his lesson seth he will learn his lesson he seth hes been cowed by this he definitely learned a lesson seth what was the lesson well, i think the lesson is that he i mean, the lesson i think that he has learned is, i need to get all the bad people out of my administration, anybody who is not disloyal to me and seth not bad as in they do bad things, but bad in that they will tell other people when i do bad things yes whistleblowers potentially but also anybody who would testify against me, or anybody who would theoretically not be 100 loyal and so he has done all these things, you know, not just escorting people like Lieutenant Colonel vindman and his twin brother who had nothing to do with it, escorting them off the white house grounds and other impeachment witness. But theres a guy who was the top policy guy at the pentagon who privately had been saying, no, you need to release the money to ukraine the money was seth yeah. He didnt do anything wrong he didnt even make it public. He got fired i mean, so anybody that gets in the way of what he wants to do, even if what he wants to do is against the law, he is now having them leave the administration and hes trying to help people who have been loyal, like roger stone. Seth yeah. Is a good example he went after the prosecutors. He went after the judge. He went after the jury forewoman in the roger stone prosecution he has this perception that prosecutors are bad. Seth yeah. And bad guys are good and seth im starting you know what im starting to think, he might be a bad guy. [ laughter ] i think he might just be a bad guy with bad judgment. I think theres some judgment questions that could be asked. Seth i want to ask this. Before your days as a journalist, you started on the internet you had a job at a very highly revered website. It was revered. It was seth was it revered at the time it was. Seth i dont remember it well but it was it was suck. Com. Yeah. And when you say it like tha but suck. Com was this was seth wait, how would you say it you worked at suck. Com [ laughter ] joining us now, jake tapper from suck. Com [ light laughter ] it was this very guerilla website started by some of the editors of wired digital seth okay. And people wrote these columns that were scathing commentaries on things going on in the internet. And it was a lot of great people got their starts there. And Ana Marie Cox and and a bunch of others. And tim carvell i think wrote for them seth oh, wow so in any case, there were a lot of people who wrote there. Yes. And we all had you had pseudonyms so you didnt write under your name the websites gone, by the way its vanished. You cant get it anymore but it was suck for like this sucks, not for whatever you thought. [ laughter ] seth what do you think i thought it was [ laughter ] i dont know. But it seemed like you were it seemed like you were judging. [ applause ] seth you wrote for the vacuum review site, suck. Com[ u] suck. Com was part of wired digital. Yeah seth well, hey, its always so wonderful to have you here. Youve got to come back soon thank you [ cheers and applause seth jake tapper, everybody. Well be right back with Jacqueline Novak [ cheers and applause my Psoriatic Arthritis pain . I had enough its not getting in my way. Joint pain, swelling, tenderness. Much better. My psoriasis, clearer. Cosentyx works on all of this. Four years and counting. So watch out. I got this real people with active Psoriatic Arthritis are feeling real relief with cosentyx. Cosentyx is a different kind of targeted biologic. It treats the multiple symptoms of Psoriatic Arthritis to help you look and feel better. 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Hey my focus is on the road, and thats saving me cash with drivewise. Whos the dummy now . Whoof whoof so get allstate where good drivers save 40 for avoiding mayhem, like me. Sorry hes a baby [ cheers and applause seth our next guest is a very funny comedian whose fantastic show get on your knees is currently on tour. Please welcome back to the show our friend Jacqueline Novak, everybody. [ cheers and applause seth hello hello seth jacqueline, you were hen yes and you were here again in november and then we decided, lets make it happen. Lets make you a regular thank you so much that was the dream seth yeah. That was the dream for me. Because i do think that guests on the show tend to focus too much on what they are promoting. Seth yeah. Now i do want to promote my show and the tour. And well do that. You know, jokesnovak. Com, et cetera, well get to it. Well get that, yes, of course but i feel like to me being here is one of the big goals. You know, this is the dream, right . I see, yeah, yeah, yeah to be on television now i always think of it as being on the big screen. But its not, right . That was from previously that was when people wanted to be in the movies seth big movies actors the big screen, yeah yes, want to be on the big the Silver Screen or whatever, right . Seth yeah, yeah. But to want to be on television is to want to be small. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because its to be a very and what i noticed, you know, having been on the show twice now, okay, is that i dont feel the glory of being small okay the glory of this moment, to me, is that right now, you know, im on someones dresser, right . [ laughter ] seth yeah. Next to their jewelry on a little hangy thing, right . Or muted in a bar. Do you see were up above seth oh, right [ laughter ] and it says closed captioning, closed captioning, closed captioning. Do you see what are we giving to the people in the bar, right . Were all actually, and i will accept dms, okay. [ laughter ] id like to know what i look like small [ laughter ] because thats the glory ive dreamed of yeah, you see . Seth i see oh, so youve always youve thought this would be because if youre small cause i guess youre saying is on the big screen people had to come to you and see you in a different room yes seth whereas being small youre in their rooms. Yes, and were very tiny. Seth yes and yet were important i mean, ill say it. Seth yeah. Television matters. Seth yeah, thank you no, no, but were small and yet seth w little rooms right now yeah, like picture and i want to know what they all look like, right . Seth yeah. Where is someones television what kind of unit is it sitt you know [ laughter ] seth right whats above . Whats below have they placed us above the fireplace, which is, you know, a new trend. [ laughter ] but do you know what im saying i do, yeah, of course and some people are surely watching in bed. Seth yeah. And were a part of their night. Seth right now its just its magical and, you know, i just want to take a moment to just celebrate the simple fact of being on television [ laughter ] seth thank you so much yes. [ cheers and applause look how tiny i am. I mean, i mean, in terms of you know seth yeah, yeah, yeah, youre very little right now, right. But this is a show which is this is a show about oral sex. And [ laughter ] but its a wonderful and, again, weve talked about it every time youre here. Yes seth cause i was your favorite line, i think seth i love it well, i promised last time, because you said that my show gave you a new way to think about part of your body. Seth yes the penis specifically. Seth i think about my penis yeff its a feminine object. You know, like, i, in theory, am a heterosexual woman, and, you know, every indignity that that . But ive always almost been like, the penis is not the its not its not it almost feels like the feminine friend of the man that im attracted to seth yeah. Its almost sort of in the way of the masculinity to me cause its sort of at very least its all the stereotypes that are applied to women are something that you could apply to the penis, you know the classic ones the sort of, oh, theyre so sensitive. Theyre needy. They nag you. They poke you in the night. [ laughter ] oh, are you awake . Im awake. [ applause ] you know oh, women are drama queens. And thats this is i feel like this is what seth likes its that, you know, the penis and the next flopped over on the fainting couch [ cheers and applause seth on the fainting couch, yes. So this is now an actual fainting couch i can use yes you can arguable use its a needle point if you get bored. Seth yeah, i love it i the reason we ended up with this on its technically its d seth oh, its a divan. And i was looking for fainting couch but the fainting couches were curiously small. Seth oh, yes oh, so you upgraded me to a divan. And so i actually though this was in the i thought reasonable seth thank you and in a way that wouldnt upset, you know seth i think its good yeah, no, i think its good for television you know what, the problem, though, is, as you established, people are going to be watching this on a very small screen. [ laughter ] anyways but no, but, yes, to me its seth you also you have a wonderful bit in your show about the word penis well, you know, ive struggled with it, like a lot of people do. What you often here is, you know, people say its too clinical i would never use the word penis sexually its too clinical. I dont hear the voice of the clinician in that word i dont think its one of our most medical sounding words. I think it has a tender emotionality and thats what penis, like and thats why and i dont in the known problem. Word penis is in the syllables seth yeah, yeah, yeah. For pee, peener, peepee, its like, pe, i think, thats a been mocekd. Seth yeah. But the nis to me is the true syllable of devastation the nis is where the tenderness lies. And thats why people cant handle it. Its just nis. Seth yeah, yeah, yeah. Thats why no says, show me that nis. Wait till you see this nis. [ laughter ] nis, not even as a joke. Its ignored because its too tender [ laughter ] seth and then you also you dont care for erection. Well, i find i mean, i dont mind when they appear, you know what i mean seth yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] but i find the word erection a bit architectural for whats happening there. You know, no ones going in that building its not up to code. Its not safe for the people to go in there. [ laughter ] to me the penis more than it erects, it blooms. It has a floral quality. Seth yeah, yeah. You know, it stretches towards that which nurtures as if warmed by the sun [ laughter ] and they try the thing is they try to tell you that the vulva is a flower. Its a classic, right . Seth yeah. The rose that is the vulva. And i always feel like, i appreciate the comparison. Theyre trying to say the vulva is beautifulit beautifult rosem looked like my vulva, i would say someone stepped on one of the roses. [ laughter ] and tried to, likiit rid of evidence. [ laughter ] its beautiful but it requires a more poetic eye. Seth yeah. To me, its beautiful like a tattered flag is beautiful, you know seth yeah. Its frayed edges telling a tale of how ideal is midactuality. Seth yeah, well said well said. [ cheers and applause im just trying you know and again, the thing you dont nis nobody says show me the nis but there is a thing, you know, in rock hard you know, people will say guys will say rock hard. And again, you have a very you take issue no, rock hard is questionable seth you have a lot of really good factual basis for thats bad well, rocks have certain qualities. No geologist would ever say, you know, this quartz is penis hard. It wouldnt be a relevant atory. I dont think it could take i mean, have you ever tried to fold a piece of paper in half. Boy, is she strong you know [ laughter ] no, its not rock hard, you know but these are not negatives, right . Seth yeah. Thats something thats not a takedown of the penis. Its hopefully restoring it to its true dignity as a feminine icon perhaps seth yeah. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause thank you so much for this thank you so much for being back its always such a pleasure. Jacqueline novak, everybody. [ cheers and applause for more information on her tour, getonyourkneesshow. Com weve so enjoyed being in your kitchen, on dresser, in your bedroom. Well be right back with music from Caroline Rose [ cheers and applause we only come out at night we only come out at night i walk alone ill pretend to know the way we only come out at night we only come out at night mom [thunder] were you planning on mowing the lawn today . son no. burke seen it. Covered it. 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