[ t its the timeon bof the season president Trumps Campaign manager last night dismissed the coverage of the impeachment trial saying, its like when love runs high watching paint dry. You know, like you do sometimes after you cover something up [ audience oohs brzezinsktom steyer. K at this. Berman tom steyer. Odonnell surging in nevada. [ laughter ] scarborough this is working for tom steyer. According you better dry soon odonnell surging in south carolina. [ laughter ] smerconish i dont think its just resources. Dry. Why arent you drying . Mitchell surging in two new polls out of nevada and south carolina. [ laughter ] according to senate rules, the wallace polling at double digits. King up eleven points from october. Only drinks permissible in the room during President Trumps impeachment trial will be water that is dramatic. Steyer im saying we have a broken government. And milk, also known as a mike pence martini thats whats going on in washington, dc. [ laughter ] its been bought by corporations, and my question to the American People is who do you think is going to change that . The president was in davos, switzerland for the world im tom steyer and i approve this message. Economic forum and during an interview had this to say about elon musk and other american inventors. I spoke to him very recently, and hes also doing the rockets. He like rockets and he does good at rockets too, by the way start maxximizing today in store and online. [ light laughter ] hes one of our great geniuses and we protect our genius. You know, we have to Thomas Edison and we have to protect all of these people that came up with originally the [ laughter ]nd the wheel and all etught ] i know we make fun of this guy a lot for being dumb, but does he honestly think the wheel was invented in america . [ laughter ] thats why the pilgrims had to come here oat. No wheels. [ laughter ] calls himself a genius all the time, but he thinks pat sajak invented the wheel [ laughter ] you know, for the first two seasons the show was called try to win by attacking, now, we know the trump strategy nothing of fortune. Distorting, dividing. [ laughter ] but then pat came up with the mr. President it. Wont. Work. Wheel. We got to protect him. [ laughter ] of course, trump needed to pivot newspapers report bloomberg is to wheels after the best he can come up with for elon musk was the democrat trump fears most. He does good at rockets. As president , universal [ laughter ] healthcare that lets people keep their coverage if they like it. I dont know [ bleep ] about a record on job creation. Rockets. I got to move on to things i understand. A doable plan to combat climate [ laughter ] change. Man, not only is our president i led a complex, diverse city real dumb, hes wheel dumb through 911 and i have [ laughter ] common sense plans to move america away from chaos to President Trump claimed today that Facebook Ceo Mark Zuckerberg is considering progress running for president. Im Mike Bloomberg and i approve this message. Ah, but to be president , you [ cheers and applause today was celebrity chef guy fieris 52nd birthday. Seth our next guest are blow out your shirt and make a pulitzer prizewinning journalists from the washington wish post. [ laughter ] their new book, a very stable genius donald j. Trumps testing of america is available na glih that now. Please welcome to the show makes it appear that the Philip Rucker and Carol Leonnig. Borgata casino in Atlantic City is actually in a remote state [ cheers and applause park 4miles away [ light laughter ] luckily, teds Bachelor Party is just drunk enough to not notice. [ laughter ] yo, is it just me or this squirrel hot, dude . [ laughter ] seth welcome to the show, and finally, actor mark walberg you guys and tv host dr. Oz have been thanks for having us. Seth congratulations on the fighting on social media this book i want to start by saying we week about the importance of share a compliment from the breakfast and peoples diets president , he has referred to me call me crazy, but im gonna as a thirdrate comedian before. Side with the medical expert over dr. Oz. [ laughter ] and he referred to you guys, he [ laughter ] wrote, another fake book by two thirdrate Washington Post ladies and gentlemen, we have a reporters, so congratulations. [ cheers and applause great show for you tonight [ cheers and applause she is an Academy Awardwinning he did at one point, he did actress, bestselling author, also call you two stonecold and the founder of the lifestyle brand goop, whos docuseries losers [ laughter ] the goop lab begins streaming on netflix this friday we look like stonecold losers, dont we seth stonecold losers thats a president who said tonight. That [ cheers and applause he is the host of nbcs [ light laughter ] americas got talent the this is a book that basically documents the last three years champions, and stars in Brooklyn Ninenine, which of the presidency. Returns for a new season its sort of harrowing to read february 6th through. Our friend terry crews is back, we were talking backstage like how quickly you forget these things [ cheers and applause things that weve talked about on this show, you would think based on that, you would they are pulitzer prizewinning remember them. You had to make the decision to journalists for the washington step away from daytoday reporting to write this book post whose book a very stable what was the catalyst for that genius is on stands now for you . Philip rucker and Carol Leonnig phil and i have been covering this presidency for three years. Are here weve never seen anything like [ cheers and applause so excited to talk to them about it every day, it was like bullets their book so guys, here at late night, and shrapnel going by you, the every night, i deliver a chyrons, the news crises, the monologue comprised of jokes scandals, every hour, every week written by a diverse team of we just wanted to hit the pause writers. As a result, a lot of jokes come across my desk that due to my button and look back at this, being a straight white male would be difficult for me to make sense of it for ourselves deliver, but we dont think that and for our readers at the should stop you from enjoying Washington Post. Them seth over 200 sources that so wed like to share them with you have in this book, yes you now in a segment called yeah, over 200 senior jokes seth administration officials, friends of the president , advisors on the outside of the seth these are two of our president , basically everybody writers, amber and jenny, everybody. In the president s orbit talked im black [ cheers and applause to us over the course of the last couple of years seth what are some of the and im gay most alarming stories you heard and were both women. Over the course of those seth and i am not. 200 interviews so, heres how this works. Im gonna read the setups to these jokes, and amber and jenny will read the punchlines [ laughter ] seth yeah. So here we go. How long do we have seth yeah. Soccer star Megan Rapinoe recently appeared on the cover i mean, there were so many things the president didnt know of Sports Illustrated wearing about america. Seth yeah. A dress and holding a sledgehammer about the globe a dress and a sledgehammer or seth yep as lesbians call it and im not making fun of him. Phil and i have no desire to business casual. Mock the president [ laughter ] we wanted to talk to people who work by his shoulder and they seth a black conservative running for congress is were, you know, their jaws were describing himself as a quote, trump supporting, gun owning, on the ground all the time liberty loving, prolife, because they are hearing him say politically incorrect black man. He doesnt know what or if thats too long, you pearl harbor really is, everything that happened can just go with incorrect he doesnt black man. Seth they do say it was a day that would famously be hard [ laughter ] to remember. [ laughter ] seth the new Movie Star Wars the rise of skywlaker features a lesbian kiss and for most woman, so does and that is something that college. [ laughter ] worried the people around him, Seth Facebook has developed because while he didnt know an app that uses facial Recognition Software to identify things, thats okay, you can be a president and not know things. People seth absolutely. And it really works but you have to be able to take it from me, leslie jones. Take in information. [ laughter ] and he rejected information. He didnt want it was almost like an insult according to our seth true story . True story. Sources for people to come to sorry, facebook. Him and say, hey, want to let you tagged the wrong person. You know how Nuclear Weapons work. [ laughter ] i know it, i got it. [ light laughter ] seth the United Methodist seth right church announced they will be splitting in two, and one half you i imagine, you know, most of the people that you talked in will now allow samesex the book were anonymous due to marriage the fear of repercussions. The other half will have a terrible choir did you does that mean you [ laughter ] have to have some cloak and hey, seth. Dagger when youre talking to what do you call a straight sources . Choir . Seth what . Do you have to take great pains offkey to make sure that theyre not seth hmm [ laughter ] putting themselves in danger of hey, seth what do call a white choir revealing their identities seth whats that offbeat. Seth okay. So in history, richard nixon, [ audience oohs when he was president , [ laughter ] seth the governor of wisconsin signed a bill that watergate, anybody allows kids to sell koolaid [ laughter ] without a permit and he, famously, a washington but are cops still gonna post reporter was getting a hassle black kids selling signal to meet with this source, koolaid deep throat. And that signal was a flag in a oh, yeah. [ laughter ] flower pot on the balcony. Seth and now amber, have the cops ever hassled you . Moving this flower pot well, now, we have a slightly oh, yeah. More high tech version [ laughter ] seth the new jersey were not using a flower pot devils the new Jersey Devils but people send us a sort of super encoded and encrypted bat hockey team recently hosted an signal to say, you know, this is lgbtq pride night. I hope they get in a fight, said the players about the a good place to meet, this is a lesbians good time. [ laughter ] remember, a lot of the people who talked to us, you know, its seth the website lifehacker recently posted an article in their dna to run from reporters. Titled buy your white kid a black doll. They are National Security intel actually, the full title of people who dont want anything the article is buy your white to do with us, but this kid a black doll, but watch what they do with it. Presidency made them want to step out of their comfort zone [ laughter ] in a big way one time, i got a bat signal, hey, seth why dont you tell one seth oh, gosh. Abort meeting, abort meeting, i dont think i should because they were worried, they come on, seth just one were being followed. Seth i feel like if i do one and you know, whatever of these, its not gonna end well aww, do it. Applebees we were going to. No kidding aww, please [ laughter ] come on seth oh, okay. Seth yeah. I trust you. You are my friends [ laughter ] you know, this isnt cool anymore. Nasa has announced that it wants seth i know you cant reveal a lot of information about to put a female astronaut on the anonymous sources, but certainly moon by 2024 so she can decorate safe to assume that a lot of the it people you talked to were [ audience oohs republicans. You told me it would be almost all of them. Okay [ laughter ] seth based on the rooms they were in and what they were privy black women and lesbians are to liars. Were you surprised by the fact [ laughter ] that there were so many that wanted to speak against a [ cheers and applause president that publicly theyre well be right back. [ cheers and applause sort of still in lock step as well be right back. [ cheers and applause far as supporting . You know, seth, we knew that there were people who worked in the administration who were alarmed and concerned with how trump conducted himself in office but we were surprised by as parsix, this network is one less thing i have to worry about. The degree to which people were vo why the aceves family chose verizon. So alarmed and by how many them we all use our phones very differently. There were members of his cabinet, members these two are always gaming of his senior staff, even and this one is always on facetime. Members of his close inner and my oldest is learning to be a pilot. Circle told us that this is a we need a Reliable Network real concern that he acts in a very alarming way and acts on because i need to know hes safe. As soon as he lands, he knows he better call mama. The gut and impulse and shuns mama vo the network more people rely on, gives you more. Information and its a concern like plans your family can mix and match for the country. Starting at just 35. And theyre afraid to say so publicly, but they were willing to talk to us for the benefit of and apple music on us. History. Plus, up to 650 off the latest iphone when you switch. And thats what we consider this book, its really a history book of these last three years. Thats verizon. Seth theres long been this hey guys want to stack different pringles flavors idea that there were people, and to create new flavor combos . You even lay it out in the here ill. Go first. Pizza, barbeque and jalapeno. Beginning of this book that there were two people who would the spicy barbecue pizza stack. Work for trump from the get him beginning. Grandpa whats going on . People who wanted to help him basically discard the way weve were trapped in a pringles commercial, they must have taken us in our sleep. Done things, and do this, take stack pringles flavors make new ones. This new path, and people who were trying to protect the government from donald trump sort of the idea that there were but allstate helps you. With drivewise. Adults in the room and yet, a lot of these adults have left the room and they feedback that helps you drive safer. And that can lower your cost still sort of havent spoken out now that you know the truth. Against him. Are you in good hands . You know, we have a lot of reporting, you have a lot of reporting in this book about, you know, people like john kelly who sort of still havent come out and said, people like general mattis who were very critical in the book and not are you surprised by that . We can tell you about some of our sources, who were not going to name, basically, some of them were afraid of donald trump, thats why they didnt come out and move from anonymous to on the record woah. Is this the future . And some of them honestly dont this is the present. Feel that its appropriate to here is your order, bills. Criticize a sitting commander in excellent guitar riff chief. Thats their dna ack ack ack ack ack and because we checked with so many people and their stories ack ack were consistent across the board, we trusted them with this information. Where are they . And you know whats yes, r2. I am quite aware we are lost. Interesting, seth, trump is so fixated on leaks inside the beep sounds i dont know. Administration and the reason that these officials are afraid to speak publicly is hes going to rat them out as leakers how fast does dove dry spray actually dry . Dry spray dries in an instant. Well, it turns out in our reporting, trump was leaking on leaving these men with nothing to do in this ad. Himself when he met with chris christie, the new jersey thankfully, weve got something to fill the time, governor to ask him to be chief of staff instantly putting these guys back into their comfort zone. Dove dry spray dries instantly and keeps you protected for 48 hours. Within a couple of hours, a reporter at Axios Jonathan swan got the hot tip and christie called trump to say, how did he find out . And it turns out trump said, i thats a zzzquil pure zzzs sleep. Our gummies contain a unique botanical blend, made the call, hes a nice guy, i did it. While an optimal melatonin level [ laughter ] seth you did try to speak to means no nextday grogginess. Zzzquil pure zzzs. Naturally superior sleep. The president for this book. Yeah. Seth and you had one conversation with him about it early in our reporting process, it was a saturday morning, i was driving out to sorry, sliced bread. Bed bath and beyond to return a can opener out on the beltway. [ laughter ] save 5 or more over other National Chains and my phone rings seth how bad was the can on delivered pizza. doorbell rings. opener that you had to i didnt need it. Pizza, pizza. I already had a can opener seth okay, gotcha. Right, right, understood i wanted the 15 refund so the phone rings and it just on delivered pizza. dad vo rings. just a blur when they jumped the median. Ye. Says 202, and thats kind of the bat signal from the white house. There was nothing i could do. And i answered it. I assumed it was some staffer. Turns out it was the white house operator she says, please hold for the president. So i held and immediately got daughter daddy off the beltway and went to a dad vo shes safe because of our first outback. Parking lot to put my car in park and our new ones even safer. And we took the opportunity to tell him about the book. avo welcome to the allnew subaru outback. And he said, you know what, im going to talk to you an iihs top safety pick plus. I want a serious book done youre a serious person. The highest level of safety you can earn. Ill do it come on inillo it. Year, the war with the media escalated. He decided not to do the interview and we really regret that set yeah. Lite bit like bob mueller, you know, remember when he said im really eager to do that interview with mueller, and then, he kind of didnt do it seth well, its interesting, you talk about it that moment in the book where trump does believe and probably still does believe that if he talked to mueller, he wouldve been able to explain it all away and it was trumps legal team who believed and the book lays this out that it would be legal malpractice to allow him to speak to bob mueller. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause thats true seth yeah. They did use legal malpractice multiple times [ laughter ] and they said that primarily because they wanted to, like, seth our first guest tonight is an emmy, golden globe and flash a Red Flag AcademyAward Winning actress as like, he could Say Something that would be wrong, and then, well as a New York Times bestselling author. That would be perjury. She is also the founder of the and one person told us, which i lifestyle brand, goop. Thought was really interesting, and her next project, a docuseries called goop lab somebody who is very close to him, he thinks hes telling the begins streaming on netflix on truth when hes lying because january 24th lets take a look. Hes a big picture guy this is a sacrament so we can and hes like, i got the big be with the spirit of the picture, thats what im focused on. Mushroom seth yeah. And so seth right when it gets granular, its not so blessings to everyone really his thing [ laughter ] not a details guy seth not a details guy one last thing ill say, you know, very stable genius, i cheers. Had remembered that hed said that about himself i think this is very important to note this is not you guys [ laughter ] taking a shot across the bow, cheers. Wow okay. This is a thing he and i thought it was one time, and you point out in the book that he has said it four different times. Five. Seth five times. [ light laughter ] right, right. And in all seriousness, seth, people might think thats a its so funny when you start snarky title, but it is a deadly something, and then, youre serious book, and you get that like, no regrets from page one. Too late this is a serious look at the buckle up history of the presidency and we seth please welcome to the show, gwyneth paltrow, everyone. Used his own words there because we wanted to sort of hold up the [ cheers and applause mirror to the president. And stress test whether that statement, his view of himself, so much for having matches the experiences of all of the people who have been working with him seth it is fascinating, its incredibly wellwritten, its so readable and even though its something we live through, it is very harrowing to go through it all again and realize that were still living in this moment. Excellent book seth so, that, in case it wasnt clear, that was an thank you so much for being episode of your show me yep here seth about psychedelics. Thank you [ cheers and applause correct seth we really love to talk seth and those were actual to you both. Philip rucker and Carol Leonnig, people who work for goop everyone a very stable genius is goop staffers seth goop staffers available now. Drinking mushrooms and well be right back. [ cheers and applause mushroom tea in jamaica. Seth gotcha. Yeah. Seth and was that something when you offer that up to your vo a great president and an effective mayor. Staff, is that a thing where everybody signs up yep seth yeah. Everybody signed up for that one. Seth when you find out theyre for work, because ive reached the age where i am not going to do mushrooms unless its for work. You know what i mean [ laughter ] exactly yeah of course. Seth like, thats the only way i could get away with it at home if i was like, this is for work. [ laughter ] this is a time of year because goop is, you know, a lifestyle brand and a lot of cleanses, a lot of detoxes leadership that makes a difference. And i think, obviously, this is obama hes been a leader throughout the country for the past twelve years, the time of year, january, where a lot of people are considering that mr. Michael bloomberg is here. Yeah. Vo together they worked super bowl of detoxing seth yeah. To combat gun violence, are you good at personally doing and again to improve anything in january . Education for every child. I keep saying that im going to start one obama i want to thank the mayor of this great city, seth yeah. I still have not. Seth okay, gotcha. Were sort running out of january. I know. I know i know [ laughter ] i may do it in february. Seth february. Yeah. Seth thats really the cool new thing. [ laughter ] youre like, oh, my god, february is the new january. January is about, you got to like kind of keep eating your way thh, eroh ctly exactly. [ laughter ] seth is there one youd recommend . I mean, youve done some over the years. Have you ever done one before seth i think ive done like a weeklong juice cleanse once, yeah theres one actually called clean seven. Which is only seven days seth yep where its like smoothies and a clean lunch. But theres still food and theres smoothies. So that ones a really good one. Seth gotcha. And are the mushrooms is the mushroom tea in that one mayor bloomberg, for his extomtrump on the economy. Ald [ laughter ] his people over profits plan because then i feel like if you makes a living wage a right. Were on good enough mushrooms, creates thousands of good paying you would just get through seven days no problem at all green jobs in california. [ laughter ] and provides a 10 tax cut for just tell yourself, this salad is pizza everyone making under 250,000. And then, youre good. Right, exactly. [ light laughter ] seth you used to live in toms plan also makes Health New York care a right, by adding a public you grp i did seth you live in l. A. Now. Option to obamacare. [ cheers ] i protects union negotiated plans. Seth i dont know if you need to do that when were here. Why [ laughter ] seth like, i have People Health care choices. Fornians here where ill say, youre from st. Louis. Im tom steyer and somebody will be like, im and i approve this message. From st. Louis, and then, theyll clap, but like were in new york. [ laughter ] true. Seth but do you i mean, again, january is maybe an interesting time to come back. Are you happy to be back here in january. Im always happy to be back in new york. Seth yeah. I love new york its a great its funny, this time, i stayed near the house where i grew up. [ cheers and applause seth my thanks to and it was very nostalgic for gwyneth paltrow, terry crews, me seth yeah. Philip rucker, Carol Leonnig, yeah. Adam marcello, and of course, seth thats great. The 8g band. I also want to ask you about a stay tuned for lilly singh well see you tomorrow new product, goop released a [ cheers and applause product this week. It got a lot of attention. Its already sold out. Yeah, mmhmm. Seth i would love you to explain it okay. [ laughter ] well, its a candle. Seth yeah. Daniel tonight, on a little late with lilly singh. And so, its called, this smells like my vagina. [ laughter ] lilly make up sex is like that moment in street fighter where you both punch each other at the same time and you fly backwards, just like, hadouken [ groans ] [ laughter ] daniel and so, it sort of started as a joke lilly put your hands we were i was with the nose together for our standards and practices guy. Douglas little for his brand, randy [ cheers and applause were gonna try to break three rules that randy definitely heretic. Doesnt want me to break and we were kind of messing randy has to stop me by finding the red button around and i smelled this beautiful this looks like thing, and i was like, this smells like my vagina. Vincent van goghs starry night. And i was kidding, obviously thats gotta be expensive. [ laughter ] hurry, randy and we were on mushrooms daniel plus lilly ilana glazer and were playing dancing clues. [ laughter ] no, we werent we werent on mushrooms. Stripper, stripper, stripper we werent [ laughter ] we werent seth yeah. Like, cocaine, honestly but so then, it actually like, sorry. All im getting is coke vibes. Came kind of a funny thing, where it was a really funny to daniel coming up in one us seth yeah. Minute i thought steyer was brilliant but also, a little bit punk rock and you know, i mean, i think women, a lot of us have grown up feeling certain degrees of shame around our body or whatever. So this is just a little bit of, you know, subversive candle for all of us out there. Seth and i have to tip my cap to the marketing of it because i will say in my entire life, i have never heard more people say, have you heard about this candle . [ laughter ] theres a new candle have you heard [ laughter ] it does feel like a lot of people are trying to take more responsibility for their personal space these days. In that moment. Do you feel like is that one we have not said one word of the reasons you started goop tonight about race. In the first place not one word. And do you feel like thats why people respond to it yeah, for sure. Are you kidding me . I mean, i think i started it becauswaking for the heart and soul of this party is diversity. A place on the internet where i could find great information about not only health but, like, emerging wellness modalities and where i dont know. I feel like myself and my friends, we kind of felt like we wanted a little bit more agency over our health and we wanted to understand, like, you know why do we feel better if we eat cleaner or, you know, do saunas work and does acupuncture work and all of this. And this is like 11 years ago, so it was i mean, now, it sounds all kind of obvious, but at the time, it was more of a nascent concept. And, so i think there were a lot of people in the world who are really interested in optimizing themselves, their bodies, their sex lives, their marriages, their relationships with their kids and its like were living in this age now we have all this great information and Resources Available to us, so thats really what goop is. Seth and with the show, you pick topics, like, you know, again, the clip was about psychedelics yeah. Seth and can they be tied into health. How did you pick the topics for the episodes for the shows well, the psychedelics episodes is really interesting i dont know if you know this, but theres a governmentfunded study right now going on to study the effects of taking psychedelics for ptsd and i think it will soon be legalized to help various kinds of trauma. And so, we were really fascinated by, you know, again, that this idea thats very disruptive and new like, can, if you take a psychedelic, with a psychiatrist and its the right set and the right setting, like, is it does it have potential for Great Healing . So we wanted to test it out for ourselves. Seth and you have so many different lines within goop. Clothing lines and podcasts. Theres going to be youve announced a goop cruise. Yes seth so explain the goop cruise have you ever been on a cruise i have never been actually on an actual cruise seth yeah. I always wanted to do it. Seth yeah. Have you guys ever been on a cruise [ cheers ] yes . Seth and real quick, any of you from new york . [ cheers ] yeah. Me, too, yes [ laughter ] so, ive always wanted to go on a cruise and we were approached by Royal Caribbean to do this cruise this, like, sort of a collaboration with them. A wellness a wellness one and so, were really excited about it seth cause i do feel it will be very different than most cruises. Because the thing i hear about most cruises is that its just theres an insane buffet oh. And maybe not the healthiest food no. Were going to have healthy food seth gotcha. And wellness programming. Seth gotcha. Candles will there be candles on the boat . [ laughter ] there will be seth of all the different candles. Can you burn a candle on a boat seth i dont know. I mean, i think theyre probably not, just like, made of rickety wo i mean, i dont think you should burn a candle on a raft. No. Seth they say never do that. I think that, too seth thats what happened, yeah, on titanic i think i just said Royal Caribbean instead of Celebrity Cruises by the way [ laughter ] seth oh, you did yeah. Seth did you get the cruise wrong . I got the cruise wrong because im on mushrooms [ laughter ] and its Celebrity Cruises, its not the other one. Seth gotcha. Here, like, just in case we want to make an edit. Yeah. Here, why dont you oh, thank you seth yeah, well try to cut this in later. So, just say who does the cruise so its Celebrity Cruises, right . [ laughter ] seth now, were doublechecking. It is right i feel like im hallucinating. Seth yeah, its Celebrity Cruises. [ laughter ] its Celebrity Cruises okay, great seth so i know you have a partnership with a company youve long been a fan of. Yes, Celebrity Cruises. [ laughter ] im so excited were going to do this amazing wellness cruise with them. A collaboration. Seth thats great. Yeah. Mushrooms, anyone . [ laughter ] seth hey, thank you so much for being here [ cheers and applause thats gwyneth paltrow, everybody. The goop lab begins streaming on netflix january 24th. Well be right back with more late night. [ cheers and applause ity it ignites our imagination. In search of inspiration and daring new ideas. At lexus our greatest curiosity isnt a machine . Its you. Experience the rewards of our curiosity. With chicken or shrimp fajitas now on chilis 3 for 10. ita is a little bit. sizzling oh, so delicious. And a whole lotta. crunching thats a fajita, starter and drink for just 10 bucks. So lets go out to ita but were also a company that controls hiv, fights cancer, repairs shattered bones, relieves depression, restores heart rhythms, helps you back from strokes, and keeps you healthy your whole life. From the day youre born we never stop taking care of you. Cmon man you just gotta see the lighter side of things. Fore youre the man birdie snail, jellyfish. You guys wanna switch sides now . Crush meeee. Robots . you think other people work out like this . Im sure theyre out there, you just gotta find them. Start the day slowroasting turkey for incredible flavor. Then, they double seal every slice for freshness. The results, well, they speak for themselves. Owwwww ti bet. Painful. I cant load anything. You should switch to boost mobile. You get 4 lines for 25 per line per month on their super fast network. Look, theres a boost mobile right there. You even get 4 free Samsung Galaxy phones when you switch. Ahhhhh. Wow two of em no, 4 free phones. Switch to boost mobile and get 4 lines for 25 per line per month with unlimited data, and 4 free Samsung Galaxy a20 phones all on our super reliable, super fast network. Step up with boost mobile. [ cheers and applause seth welcome back. So i was scrolling through reddit earlier today and i saw this really interesting post i be wrong here. But i think i smell some smoke and that could only mean one thing. Its time for ya burnt [ cheers and applause seth welcome to the burn zone we got a lot of topics to sizzle through and not a lot of time. Over here is the burner. Lets turn on the gas and load her up whoo hot stuff. [ light laughter ] first up checks checks, why do you still exist [ laughter ] no one has used you since the 90s youre the Stephen Baldwin of payment methods. [ laughter ] sideburn Stephen Baldwin sideburn. Seth and hey, funny guy at the office still writing 2019 on your checks, its 2020 now, the only thing you should be writing on your checks is get [ bleep ] venmo already. Why do we have to write a memo on our checks anyway im sure the guy paying Child Support every month appreciates the reminder whats it for . Um, because i slept with three different red lobster hostesses and my wife took the kids. [ laughter ] checks check this ya burnt minivans finally a car that lets your neighbors know, kids have ruined your life. [ laughter ] and by sides, if my ass is going to start driving around town in a van, im going all in and getting a creepy as hell, fullsized van im talking a white ford econoline. [ laughter ] the kind of terrifying nightmare machine that will make the entire neighborhood dial 91 and hover over that other one when i pass by their house. [ laughter ] minivans, im not sliding the door on you. Im slamming it. Ya burnt quit trying to make exercising fun. Its not its bad and if you like it youre bad. [ laughter ] if i wanted strangers to yell at me while riding a bicycle, id just rent a city bike. [ laughter ] also, peloton, nice work with that terrible christmas commercial you got people talking about pelotons the same way jared ha. [ audience ohs ] jared burn im still proud of him for losing the weight. [ laughter ] seth what . Peloton, just like my quads. Ya burnt water polo you know youre a bad sport when only white people want to play you. [ laughter ] youre the most popular white sport since going to williamssonoma. [ laughter ] and i if i really wanted to see loose balls flying around a pool, id go to the 14th street y at 3 00 p. M. On a tuesday for water aerobics [ laughter ] want to know how to make water polo interesting use the horses from regular polo [ light laughter ] can you score a goal on the back of a drowning thoroughbred that id watch [ laughter ] water polo, go tread water ya burnt diego the tortoise this over 100yearold tortoise has had so much sex hes singlehandedly credited with saving his species from extinction [ laughter ] and now, he is retiring. Id say you earned it, buddy, but hey, you know what they say, it aint work if you enjoy it. Which is why, you are this weeks unburnable, diego ascend to safety and enjoy your golden years [ laughter and applause long movies. Long movies, can we move it along here i had to piss so much during the irishman i missed all two of anna pacquins lines of dialogue [ laughter ] but seriously, long movies, whym hr in the hallway. No connie, i dont want to hear about your dads sciatica. Connies looking for friends in the wrong places. [ laughter ] seth long movies, pay attention. Ya burnt airplane safety announcements, youre the most pointless presentation since hr told us were not allowed to have sex in the conference room. We know [ laughter ] seth quit talking to us like were children if someone doesnt know how to buckle a seat belt, societys probably better off if they rocket out the window. [ laughter ] and also, can we cool it with the airplane safety announcement videos trying to be fun . If the planes going down, the last thing i want to do is remember your terrible rap when the masks fall down put your own on first then pray to god as the engines burst. [ laughter ] airplane safety announcements, please direct your attention to ass and pucker up because, ya up next, uninsured veterans [ buzzer ] aw, that buzzer means weve run out of time. This has been ya burnt. [ cheers and applause l[ l be right back with more fish roe. Risotto. Buffalo. Buffalo Wild Wings gelato. Curry. Cacciatori. Chimichurri. Fried turkey. Blcheese cake. Cheesecake Factory grilled steak. Clam bake. Milkshake. We are americas kitchen. Every flavor welcome. [sfx bullwhip cracks] make your move cowboy. Old town road by lil nas xs i got the horses in the back horse tack is attached hat is matte black, got the boots thats black to match im gonna take my horse to the old town road, im gonna ride til i cant no more doritos® cool ranch just got cooler. I aint dancin. Free, free, free. Thats right, turbotax free is free. Free, free free free. Grand now we have to deal withed us this. Rs. Climate change is an emergency. Thats why i wrote the nations most progressive climate law. And thats why im endorsing tom steyer. Because when big oil tried to stop our clean air laws, he led us to victory. Same with the keystone pipeline. When tom says we can save the world and do it together believe him. Im tom steyer and i approve this message. [ cheers and applause seth welcome back everybody. Give it up for the 8g band right over there [ cheers and applause joining us again tonight, he is check out his solo release, the flood with side four collective on all major music platforms Adam Marcello is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause thanks for being here adam our next guest tonight is the host of americas got talent the champions, which airs mondays at 8 00 p. M. Here on nbc. He also stars in nbcs Brooklyn Ninenine [ cheers ] which returns on thursday, february 6th with a special twoepisode event. Lets take a look. Wait, why you guys being all weird again . Were not being weird do not dab. [ laughter ] i wasnt going to i know whats going on here you do . Yeah. Youre talking about me. I know, because my daughters are doing the same thing every time i go in that room they get all weird and quiet its cause theyre making fun of daddy. Is that what youre doing . Making fun of daddy . First off yeah, i heard it. Im sorry. [ laughter ] seth please welcome back to the show terry crews, everybody. [ cheers and applause seth welcome back, terry oh, man i love this. Seth it is it is so great so great to see you as always you look like a Million Dollars as always. Oh, thank you seth what a fantastic jacket oh, thank you seth im very jealous that you could pull Something Like that off if i feel like [ laughter ] if i ever wore that jacket home, my wife would just turn me right around [ laughter ] oh, man my wife has done that. Seth oh, she has turned you around oh, shes turned me around. Seth cause you have that and i turned right back around, and come back in seth yeah. Yeah [ laughter ] cause you make you make some very bold fashion choices. And does your wife inn your tastes . No, no, not at all. Seth okay, yeah. Not at all. Theres many times shes like, what are you doing . Im like, listen to whole point of fashion is to make a statement. Now, it could be a crazy wild statement. Seth yes but, you know, why not . You know what im saying i want to push the envelope, baby seth yeah, i love it push it [ cheers and applause [ laughter ] seth where as im like, im thinking blue crewneck sweater. Oh, yeah. Seth thats pretty much me everyday [ laughter ] very exciting. You how old are your children now . I again, i have five kids. 32 years old, 29, 21, 16, 14, and a 9yearold granddaughter seth amazing seth now you went for new years eve, you went to oh, thats all. Shanghai i did seth how many of them came oh, my god. Well, two, the 14yearold and the 16yearold came, and i just wanted to show them the world. I wanted to show them whats possible and ive been doing bucket list items. You know what i mean seth uhhuh. I went to morocco earlier in last year. I went to columbia, and i decided i really wanted to go to china. And i went to shanghai, and it was incredible it was absolutely unbelievable it was chicago on top of new york it was one of the best things ive ever done seth how many days did you go well, we were there for a whole week seth okay, and is that the minimum . Do you think its important when you go that far away to spend that much time actually, its good because, you know one thing is, any longer and its bad youre stuck. Seth yeah. You know what i mean . You just know. A week you can take a week of anything seth yep and i knew but it was one of those things where i cant wait to go back. It was unreal. Seth you found your way which i wondered, when you go on vacation for a week do you take a week off from working out . Oh, hell no seth hell no [ light laughter ] no, the first thing i do is look for the gym thats the first thing anywhere im going in the world, i find the gym with the most weight seth and you took a photo of [ cheers and applause you know i got to do that you know i have to do that seth and you took a photo of yourself at the gym and im happy to say that much like me, you do have ca which is a little bit less impressive yeah. There we go. [ cheers and applause i got to say this, you know, that picture actually ended up kind of controversial. People thought that i was, you know, extolling the government of china seth you think it was was it the giant flag . Do you think thats what it was . [ laughter ] i wasnt really but if i did that in my basement, yes seth exactly, right. Exactly. You were there i was in shanghai it was the flag was there i took my shirt off like i would normally do. Seth right [ laughter ] yeah, exactly. Do you know what i mean seth right, exactly. Nobody should think thats, like you being making a choice because of where you are yeah you know s g talent chams edition. Yes seth very intense. Its the olympics of talent i mean, what people dont know is some people may know but theres 190 iterations of got you really dont have bragging rights until you win America America is the one talent seriously. Seth and you see some pretty ine yeah. Seth do you ever do you ever see an act where you come home and then you just immediately have to tell your entire family about what youve seen oh my god there was one this group, duo transcend. And these guys were up 50 feet in the air doing acrobatic moves on a trampoline, blindfolded, by the way. Seth the blindfolded part was insane blindfolded but you gotta understand this, this was what was insane, it was his wife now, first of all, i drop a coworker, ill be like, oh man, my bad [ laughter ] seth yeah. Man, go get better. Ill talk to you later seth yeah. [ laughter ] your wife, dude if you drop your wife, where do you go from there . Seth yeah. [ laughter ] see, i was thinking about it a different way, which is id be up there and id be thinkiwong days ago [ laughter ] and shes be like, i got you, baby you just put that blindfold on s d ing to have me. Youre so right youre so right. Seth youre every now and then ill have family members give me feedback on this show. Do you have do your wife and kids give you feedback on how you host your show all the time. All the time theyre like, youre shouting too much youre shouting. But i but i have to say this, you know, my family weve been watching agt for a long, long, time and they always like everyone else you know what i mean im like, im finally on agt. Its me. And theyre like, yeah, youre all right. [ light laughter ] and i fight to get that kind of validation from my family but this is the deal, im very thankful because they always keep it real you know what i mean youre in a world of sycophants. Seth oh yes. As a family. Youre in a world of peop who are like, youre the best terry. Youre so amazing. And my wife is like, look man, sit down your breath is really bad right now. [ laughter ] and im like, oh, i do need something. M people who love you. Thats very, very important. Only from people who love you. Seth yeah and if they can give it in a loving way, that is all the better it is good. Seth very exciting as well, that Brooklyn Ninenine is coming back. Yes [ cheers and applause seth it just, you know you know it really is the thing that people always say is going to happen and so rarely does, this was a show that went away fox said, we had a great run and thank you for everything and then nbc picked it up and now its going to end up, at the very least, having three seasons on nbc and then fox went away. [ cheers and applause ive got to tell you this, you know what, the big thing is that, first of all, you know, you have to understand when you create a character on a tv show, its a real person seth yeah. Living person. And when they cancel your show its like a death. I mean, it literally flatlined and we were all Walking Around like, oh my god. [ laughter ] how could you do that . Seth yeah, yeah. Thats literally what it was. And we were saying our goodbyes. There was a mourning period. And then the internet and the people a hundred million comments and texts and posts that were like, what are you doing . Seth yeah. And they brought us back to life and now, not only right before season seven, we were already picked up for season eight this feels like not only did you come back to life but youve been given the keys to the city. You know what im saying seth sure. And it feels so great [ cheers and applause our fandom is amazing. Seth i cant wait to see what youre doing in it. Thats just in a couple of weeks. And thank you so much for being here youre such a delight. This is great thank you. [ cheers and applause you are awesome. Seth terry crews Brooklyn Ninenine and americas got talent the champions mondays at 8 00 p. M. Here on nbc. Well be right back with Philip Rucker and Carol Leonnig. Woah. Is this the future . This is the present. Here is your order, bills. Excellent guitar riff ack ack ack ack ack ack ack where are they . Yes, r2. I am quite aware we are lost. beep sounds i dont know. Sorry, sliced bread. Save 5 or more over other National Chains on delivered pizza. doorbell rings. pizza, pizza. On delivered pizza. doorbell rings. worried im not picking it up. You pick it up im not picking it up ll cle. Oh yeah im charmin clean. Charmin ultra strong just cleans better. Enjoy the go with charmin. professor sthe product of sound pressure tand a component of the partial velocity at a point. [sounds] kazoo sound how fast does dove dry spray actually dry . Dry spray dries in an instant. Leaving these men with nothing to do in this ad. Thankfully, weve got something to fill the time, instantly putting these guys back into their comfort zone. Im yo