Guests Shaquille OnealJacqueline Novak musical guest lil baby and featuring the legendary roots crew questlove 1181 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy thank you very much what a crowd i missed you happy 2020, everybody, hey [ cheers and applause welcome to the tonight show. I want to wish everyone a happy new year i saw that for 2020, a lot of people are making the resolution to drink more water [ light laughter ] thats why for the last six days, college kids have woken up next to a pile of empty coors lights [ laughter ] this is fun. I saw that people ar participating in the 2020 tipping challenge you hear about this . Its where you tip waiters 20. 20 in honor of the new year waiters heard that and theyre like, thats great, except your bill was 500. [ laughter ] lets get to some news the big stories, everything going on with iran a little scary but on the bright side, its the first time trumps ever said i and ran in the same sentence [ laughter ] thats right, theres so much going on right now tensions with iran are high. People are worried about world war iii. Tom brady and the new England Patriots got knocked out of the nfl playoffs in the first round. [ cheers and applause Justin Bieber just released a new song [ cheers and applause called yummy. [ laughter ] and papa johns founder John Schnatter says his new years resolution is to eat 50 pizzas in 30 days these are all big stories. [ laughter and applause a lot to go over lets just jump in and cover it all at once. Time for news smash. [ cheers and applause jimmy first up, since President Trump ordered a strike on irans top general, people have been warning that world war iii could break out. A lot of experts say the strike was a bad idea almost as bad as eating 50 pizzas in 30 days [ laughter ] papa john says hes doing it to test the quality of the pizza. Thats a pretty unhealthy diet you know who definitely doesnt eat like that . Tom brady. [ light laughter ] saturday his patriots got knocked out of the playoffs. Football fans still call him the greatest of all time, while every woman in boston still calls him yummy. [ laughter ] Justin Biebers new song just dropped and in the music video, he eats cake, jello, and lobster. Which is still better for you than eating 50 pizzas in 30 days. [ laughter and applause seriously, eating like that is like looking at your stomach and declaring war. [ light laughter ] if he wants to avoid a bigger conflict, trump needs to talk things out with iran earlier today, he was like is it too late no to say sorry [ laughter ] Justin Biebers back with another single hes young, hes on top of his game hes pretty much the opposite of tom brady he had a solid year, but just like that, its over you could tell brady is depressed because ever since he lost as hes been eating is papa johns. [ light laughter ] listen, 50 pizzas in 30 days isnt a new years resolution, its a death wish. Its all over. Kind of like the patriots season [ light laughter ] still, brady says hell play until hes 45. Either hes serious or hes totally full of papa johns. [ laughter ] so in conclusion, have a safe new year have a yummy new year. [ laughter ] have an intervention this year maybe next year. [ cheers and applause listen to this before the iran strike, trump told some guests at maralago that something huge was coming but he never told congress which means theres a really good chance that sugar rays mark mcgrath heard about the strike before nancy pelosi [ laughter ] past president s including george w. Bush declined taking out irans Top Commander because it could lead to war you know things are bad when even george w. Bush was like, this could really mess things up in the middle east. [ laughter ] after the attack, iran said it was pulling out of the 2015 nuclear deal. So this morning, trump tweeted, iran will never have a nuclear weapon. Because nothing calms tensions quite like an all caps threat on social media. [ laughter ] according to a new poll, republicans top choices for president in 2024 include ivanka and Donald Trump Jr meanwhile, eric just got his tongue unstuck from a pole he licked on christmas. [ laughter and applause i did. I did it steve maybe senate jimmy some 2020 news, i saw that Bernie Sanders is now in a threeway tie for first place in New Hampshire [ cheers and applause and if one of your new years resolutions was to eat less, just remember the phrase, Bernie Sanders is now in a threeway. [ laughter ] well, last night was the Golden Globe Awards and Russell Crowe won for his role in the mini series, the loudest voice. When he heard that, Bernie Sanders was like, how the hell did i not win that . [ laughter ] tonight was the season premiere of the bachelor. We love that show. [ cheers and applause i love the bachelor. Im excitied the new bachelor is peter. Hes actually a pilot for delta. When hes sitting by the fire on the date and the girl asks for a blanket, hell be like, that will be 9. [ laughter ] police in pennsylvania are investigating after someone intentionally released bedbugs in a walmart changing room steve what [ audience oohs jimmy luckily, no one was affected mostly because everyone at walmart just tries on pants right in the aisles [ laughter ] no rules there steve fit jimmy an finally, listen to this i read about some High School Students in michigan who built the worlds tallest toilet paper pyramid. Take a look at this. Yeah [ audience oohs if you want to see that toilet paper pyramid in person, its currently right outside papa johns bathroom. [ laughter ] we have a great show give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy we have a fun show tonight. Our first show back for 2020 there you go im so happy weve got this great crowd here we have a great guest. Shaquille oneal is here my man [ cheers and applause my main dude i love that guy. Also, the super funny Jacqueline Novak is here [ cheers and applause and weve got great music from lil baby, everybody, come on [ cheers and applause my turn. Guys, before we start, i want to send a quick shoutout to all of our friends watching in australia. They are battling devastating fires over there right now when you see pictures, it doesnt even seem real 15 million acres burned. Lost thousands of homes. Wildlife displaced 3,000 firefighters are working if youd like to donate, you can give to the australian red cross at redcross. Org. Au every little bit helps and they need the help. We love you, australia [ cheers and applause im happy to be back i had a good break i had the best new years eve ive had in, like, years it was fantastic steve what did you do . Jimmy i went to los angeles to visit some friends. I was out in l. A so me and my wife, were like old people now, so we go to dinner at 5 00 [ light laughter ] thats just our thing. We love it so actually it was a little late for us, we went to dinner at 6 00. Steve what jimmy so im at the polo lounge in beverly hills. We go in, theres no one there theres two women, pretty, just sitting there, they were eating dinner and we go over and sit down. One woman comes over to me and she goes, im sorry, i had to come over and say something. Im Dwayne Johnsons mother. The rock i go, yeah. Dude, we love him. We love dwayne. She goes, yeah he loves you too. I just had to say hi because he talks i go, oh my gosh, lets take a picture on your phone. So we took a picture i go, you know what, hold on a second. I went and got tiaras and hats from the restaurant. And balloons, and an empty champagne bottle i go, lets take a picture like were raging out [ light laughter ] anyhow, so im like taking pictures like shes chugging the champagne. I go, send this to dwayne at like, midnight and go, dude, im partying with jimmy fallon, its crazy. and she is there with his motherinlaw too. Those are the two. So then they send the picture, theyre laughing they go, this picture is so funny. They actually do get a bottle of champagne they go, youve got to look at the pictures she walks over i forget who but they knock over the bottle of champagne, chilling its ice, water, champagne, everywhere im like, oh my gosh she goes, no, get your phone back out. I laid on the floor. My tie [ laughter and applause i go, send him that picture after. Hes wasted. 6 30 so dwayne calls and he buys us dinner him and his wife bought me and my wife dinner, which is very nice, so we said thank you, dwayne its the end of the night for us around 8 00, probably. [ light laughter ] so im at the polo lounge. They have a piano player there his name is george i know him, hes great and he goes, jimmy, do you want to sing a sing or something before you leave . I go, sure. So i sang what are you doing new years eve . What are you doin new year new years eve whatever it was better than that. Anyway, i finished the song. Now the restaurant is packed everyone clapped, it was very nice and then this guy comes up he gives me a 100 bill and he goes, thats the most beautiful song ive heard. You have such a great voice. Brought a tear to my eye sylvester stallone. [ laughter ] his timing was perfect hes like, yo, that was the most beautiful thing i ever heard. It was so funny. Then i went back, watched the ball drop and went to bed at 10 30 im like, awesome new years eve. Fantastic. Guys, it can be hard to say goodbye, but sometimes you have to and there are a few things id like to say goodbye to right now its time for go on, git. [ cheers and applause go on git go on gi go on go o go on git [ laughter ] steve oh my gosh jimmy go on, go on, git, shovels. Youve been getting a free pass for far too long but its time somebody says it like it is youre just a big spoons for dirt no, go on, git and take your rakes with you we all know theyre just ground combs. [ laughter and applause go on, git, new years resolutions. Youre telling me i have to start eating more vegetables just because the earth spun all the way around the sun again [ light laughter ] big deal, new years resolutions. Im going to say to you what the police said to me when i drove my tractor on the highway so i could get to benihana before 5 00 p. M. Go on, git. [ laughter and applause steve oh, no jimmy go on, git go on, git this one splintered off a little [ laughter ] go on, git 300 Coffee Makers they sell at starbucks. You know the only reason im at starbucks is because i dont want to make my own coffee, right . Whats your end game here . That i buy one of those things and never come to starbucks again . Boy howdy, thats a bad business strategy. Thats a 2 no foam, half caff, triple pump, git [ laughter and applause go on, git, hockey pucks yall know youre just hamburgers i cant eat [ laughter ] ya cant fool me twice now go on, git [ laughter and applause go on, git, yogurts that spray a little yogurt when you open them up. [ laughter ] i shouldnt have to call in the yogurt bomb squad every time i want to enjoy some chobani while riding my horse, chobani thats right, i named my horse chobani. No, not after the yogurt, chobani, after my friend, terry chobani. Now git, spraying yogurt, git. [ applause ] steve you named your horse chobani . Jimmy go on, git, baby pandas no, im just playing with you. You can stay [ laughter ] i love you baby pandas, come on back i love you [ light laughter ] go on, git, hamburger helper hand i sure do appreciate all that you do for ground beef but lets face it, youre an abomination. An affront to nature what are you, anyway an oven mitt that wished to be a real boy it makes me ill to think about you. Id give you the middle finger but you wouldnt even know what that is because you dont have one. [ laughter ] i hate you hamburger helper hand i hate you, git. [ laughter and applause hard to see them go but im glad i got it out of my system well be right back with more of the tonight show, everybody. [ cheers and applause im your mother in law. And i like to question your every move. Like this left turn. Its the next one. You always drive this slow . How did you make someone i love . That must be why youre always so late. I do not speed. And thats saving me cash with drivewise. My son, he did say that you were the safe option. And thats the nicest thing you ever said to me. So get allstate. Stop bossing. Where good drivers save 40 for avoiding mayhem, like me. This is my sons favorite color, you should try it. [mayhem] you always drive like an old lady . [tina] youre an old lady. Chilis 3 for 10 steak, cooked how you like its tender and juicy and aged to perfection that may sound fancy, but its chilis fancy so come as you are and just bring 10 bucks 3 for 10 now with steak baby steak baby steak mmmhmmm together we chilis, oh yeah baby yeah delivered to your car door so you can do more. Try drive up at target. Feels so good feels so good target run and done. I wrote this a long time ago. I dont know how old i was. I hope someday i will be on a real football team. Im katie sowers, offensive assistant coach for the San Francisco 49ers. Im not just here to be the token female, im here to help us win. The surface pro helps me get whats in my head and get it out on to the field. I would want to tell this little girl to keep pushing herself, your dreams coming. [ cheers and applause jimmy hey. Welcome back, everybody. It is time for a game of random instrument challenge here we go [ cheers and applause jimmy and playing with me is the legend himself, Shaquille Oneal [ cheers and applause jimmy wow. Thats what im talking about. Thats what im talking about. Look at that thats a stud right there. Come on. [ cheers and applause the one and only the one and only thats what im talking about. Looking good, buddy. What [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause my gosh. Happy new year. Happy new year jimmy oh, thank you. Yes jimmy unbelievable [ laughter ] im blushing im blushing [ laughter ] if youre just tuning in, this is the bachelor. [ laughter ] all right, heres the deal on your turn, you pick a card from the board which will give you a name of a random song then you pick from this box, right here and this will give you a random instrument then youll have to play that song with that instrument. And if the roots can guess what a point. re playing, you get a is that cool [ laughter ] all right, since im the host [ laughter ] since im the host, ill go first. Okay okay. Jimmy here we go which number six jimmy there we go. Six is it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, okay okay, and im going to play. Oh, gosh steel drum [ light laughter ] all right, here we go. [ laughter ] come on, roots, really listen. Alright . You got to really Pay Attention to this. Cause i dont know if this is going to be oh, 30 seconds on the clock. Here we go all right, go. Wait, what sorry. Oh huh [ laughter ] jimmy wait [ laughter ] questlove play the rhythm. Jimmy wait, sorry. Ready, here we go. Ready. I got it. I got it [ laughter ] this is how we do it . Jimmy yes [ cheers and applause hell no [ applause ] hell no. This is how we do it [ laughter ] what number what number . [ audience screams ] four . Got it [ light laughter ] jimmy dude, look at how big you are, dude. It feels like looks like russian dolls. I feel like i could fit inside of you [ laughter ] and wear you almost, like excuse me roots, whats an oboe [ laughter ] jimmy no oh, thats this thing . No. Jimmy that thing in front of the violin. Jimmy in front of the violin whats a violin [ laughter ] jimmy stop it. Oh, this . Yes jimmy thats the oboe . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause shaq, do it into the microphone what . I blow in it [ laughter ] okay [ laughter ] [ laughter ] [ indiscernible [ cheers and applause yeah. Jimmy whip nae nae . Yeah. [ laughter ] yeah [ laughter ] jimmy nine [ audience screaming ] all right. Yeah, im ready now jimmy oh [ laughter ] jimmy a a double contra bass flute bass flute contra base . What the heck is that thing . What song am i [ laughter ] [ laughter ] i dont even how the heck do you hold it . Yeah. [ laughter ] jimmy do i lift it off on this i leave it where it is i have no clue at even [ laughter ] [ laughter ] [ laughter ] [ laughter ] wait. One, two, three and [ blowing air hall and oats, man eater. [ laughter ] jimmy now, its not man eater. You cant guess. [ laughter ] [ buzzer ] call me maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen obviously. Who [ laughter ] jimmy obviously. [ cheers and applause [ audience screaming ] [ laughter ] oh, youre going down [ laughter ] youre going down on this one buddy. [ laughter ] electric violin the red thing . Yeah. Jimmy yep. All right, cool this is easy [ laughter ] [ laughter ] jimmy oh, my god [ cheers and applause mary had a little lamb [ laughter ] [ audience screaming ] [ laughter ] jimmy thats cheating. That jimmy that was i did not mouth the words jimmy yeah [ laughter ] i wasnt watching. All right, this last round lets join forces. [ audience screaming ] and do a song. Were going to do a song together all right, here we go. Okay, thats good. Both see the instruments here we go you play, pick which one all right, i got [ laughter ] all right, i guess i got the harp okay you can pass, you want to pass jimmy no, i can do it. You go tuba, ill do harp tuba is this big thing . Jimmy tubas this thing. Whats that thing jimmy tuba, thats a a different tuba [ laughter ] all right jimmy all right. [ laughter ] what . [ laughter ] jimmy all right. [ blowing air [ laughter ] jimmy no, you got to [ laughter ] shaq you got to go like there you go [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause [ laughter ] all right, ready [ laughter ] you cant pick a different thing. Vuvuzela jimmy oh, yeah thats this. Oh, yeah, i got that one. [ laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy you got this one we got this one. We got this one, ready oh, yeah. Jimmy ready roots . Old town road, old town road. [ ding ] jimmy Shaquille Oneal, everybody old town road. Were going to talk to him about being a the Krispy Kremes resolution coach after the break. Stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause cheezit snapd. How does it taste . Its so thin, crispy and cheesy. And i just want to keep eating it. Ive done it and eating it. they love em snapd. So good, we may run out of cheese. Thanks, stef no more driving that old handmedown. Surprise no, im not gonna get a date in this. We had a lot of great dates in this car. Ugh, no. No, ew. We had a lot of great dateyour happy place. Find your breaking point. Then break it. Every emergenc gives you a potent blend of nutrients so you can emerge your best, with emergenc. You care about the planet, but you dont drink like it. By 2050 there will be more plastic in the ocean than fish. Brita. Drink like you care. [ turn around, look at me there is someone walking behind you turn around look at me there is someone look at me introducing new Vicks Vapopatch easy to wear with soothing vicks vapors for her, for you, for the whole family. New Vicks Vapopatch. Breathe easy. Then theres fresh value from subway. Like the six inch oven roasted chicken for just two ninetynine. Its seasoned all white meat chicken raised without antibiotics. Start the year off fresh. Fresh value. Only from subway. I felt gross. It was kind of a shock after i started cosentyx. Four years clear. Real people with psoriasis look and feel better with cosentyx. Dont use if youre allergic to cosentyx. Before starting, get checked for tuberculosis. An increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur. Tell your doctor about an infection or symptoms, if your inflammatory bowel disease symptoms develop or worsen, or if youve had a vaccine or plan to. Serious allergic reactions may occur. Ask your dermatologist about cosentyx. [ cheers and applause jimmy our first guest is one of the most dominant players in nba history he anchors inside the nba on tnt. And hes teamed up with krispy kreme donuts for a brandnew menu item. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Shaquille Oneal [ cheers and applause jimmy oh, my god. Shaq, happy new year welcome back you are our first guest of the decade thanks, my boy. Jimmy thank you for being here [ cheers and applause thanks, my boy. Jimmy yeah, boy boy. Is it no, no, my boy. Jimmy now its my boy now . Yeah, whats up, my boy [ laughter ] say it jimmy whats up, my boy . No, no, you go, whats up, my boy . Jimmy whats up, my boy . Yeah, yeah, that was it jimmy oh, thats it . [ laughter ] last time my nickname was boy boy. It was boy boy. But now its my boy. Jimmy my boy yeah its not my boy. My boy [ laughter ] jimmy my boy youre not my boy jimmy no, not my boy my boy no, man, youre not from england. Youre from new york jimmy my boy yeah, like that jimmy my boy yeah, my boy. Jimmy thats right [ laughter ] how how you been . Jimmy im great. Everythings fantastic how are your kids . Theyre fine. Jimmy theyre good hows shareef doing . He was just he had the heart thing. No, hes good hes playing at ucla hes doing jimmy hes playing again hes back. [ cheers and applause so happy so happy to hear that thank you jimmy but its your daughter who i think is going to be the best basketball player in your family. Yes my youngest daughter mearah is the best one in the family jimmy how tall is mearah . Shes 63 now. [ audience ohs ] jimmy did you do you ever play her one on one no, of course not jimmy cause why i dont want to beat her. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, right. Come on. Yeah, right, nothing. I dont hold back when i step on the court [ laughter ] jimmy oh, you know what, i want to ask you old ladies, babies. Jimmy this is [ laughter ] yeah, you step jimmy you play babies . Yeah, you step on the court with these yeah, you step on the court with these, you got to get that elbow damage [ light laughter ] jimmy oh, my this going around the internet right here this is a meme someone made this up this is lebron and a. D. Versus you and kobe if that ever happened and everyone is wondering, in your prime, do you think you could beat lebron and a. D. , you and kobe do i think or do i know [ cheers and applause i dont jimmy what i dont like having these conversations because, of course, they can never be answered, but yes. The answer is yes. Hell yes jimmy yeah hell yes. [ cheers and applause course. Jimmy of course. Yeah. Jimmy really no brainer yeah. I mean, because theres only one contributing factor. Who gon guard me . [ light laughter ] jimmy thats right no one can do that no, they cannot jimmy thats right they cant do it [ laughter ] not at all. Jimmy can i just ask you this question again . cause theres no way that this is true. Dont do it [ laughter ] jimmy theres no way this is go ahead. I know what youre going to ask me jimmy you think Stevie Wonder can see . Listen [ laughter ] jimmy what are you talking about . What are you talking about listen, im saying jimmy thats the craziest thing ever im saying we lived in a building together on wilshire boulevard jimmy talk to me wait, all right. You lived in a building with stevie with stevie, okay and we used to have to drive to the bottom underneath to park your car jimmy uhhuh im coming through the first floor that day it goes down because when i got in i didnt press a button so it went down first. Stevie got it, im standing in the corner i didnt say nothing and he looked over and hes like, what up, big diesel . [ laughter ] and he turned his head, hit his button, and got off. [ laughter ] listen jimmy come on. Im telling you what happened i dont know if i was just smelling from practice that day. But he just turned around, whats up, diesel . Hit his button, yeah [ laughter ] jimmy theres no way thats not true at all im telling you jimmy no, thats fake. [ laughter ] it happened no jimmy thats a fake story. Its not. Jimmy oh, yeah it is its a real story have i ever lied to you . Jimmy its a made up story have i ever lied to you have i ever lied to you . Jimmy youve never lied to me thank you jimmy we got to have stevie on the show and ask him once and for all. No, dont ask him that question [ laughter ] jimmy youre doing this thing in shaqs fun house. Yes, shaqs fun house jimmy this is Super Bowl Weekend in miami you did this, what, the third year youre doing this now i think its the fourth year jimmy yeah but jimmy why did you decide to do this . As questlove and the roots know, most super bowl parties, you just get a bunch of people just sitting around, looking at each other nobodys having fun. I been to those all my life. I said, okay, i want to do something thats never been done party, bringing carnival people, bringing food, bringing my favorite djs. Lets get the party going. Lets get it active. So this is the fourth year as you see, diddys going to be there. Diplos going to be there. Pitbull jimmy pitbull. Tiesto. Jimmy Dababy Dababy and a special guest. Jimmy whats your goto song what a song that guarantees to get everyone dancing well, it depends. Like, i do hiphop and dubstep but i remember one time, i went to a Corporate Party jimmy yeah and it was all white guys jimmy yeah [ laughter ] so i had to switch it up. Jimmy what made everyone dance . Take these broken wings [ laughter ] learn to fly again jimmy thats not true. Yeah, yeah. Jimmy thats not true. Yeah, yeah. Then i had to jimmy i love it. Karma Karma Karma Karma karma chameleo you come and g you come and go yeah, yeah, yeah. And then and then i bless the rai down in africa jimmy okay, yeah, you know me [ laughter ] all right, you know me you know me too well yup, yup. Jimmy talk to me about krispy kreme youre the what are you youre the im the new years resolutions coach. Jimmy youre the resolutions coach. Resolutions jimmy for krispy kreme now what does that mean . New decade. Its 2020. Everyone, of course, on new years night, we form resolutions. Jimmy yeah but studies show that by january 20 or 21st, we cancel our resolutions. So the best way to get through that is just to go ahead and cheat. [ laughter ] however however jimmy yeah if you dont cheat all the way, are you really cheating so thats when myself and krispy kreme came out with the mini ones. Jimmy check this out, guys no, this is a great idea mini ones jimmy krispy kreme minis these are krispy kreme mini jimmy only 100 calories per donut. Yeah. [ audience oohs jimmy lets try one of these jams right here and toast to the new year. Which one do you go with im going with the chocolate glazed jimmy im just going regular glazed cheers happy new year, my friend. I love you come back. Thank you jimmy look at that tiny donut in your hand can you eat the whole thing without biting it . [ laughter ] jimmy you think i im asking. [ laughter ] jimmy ready . 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[ cheers and applause jimmy oh, thank you very much our next guest is a very funny comedian whose critically acclaimed offbroadway show Jacqueline Novak get on your knees is currently running at the Lucille Lortel theatre right here in new york city. Please welcome Jacqueline Novak [ cheers and applause jimmy thats a already youre off to a great start. The 360 turn you look gorgeous. Thank you for coming back. If you like to work it out. Hello. Jimmy hi welcome back its great to be back im over on the couch. Jimmy i know last time you were here you did standup i did which, you know, is an indignity in some senses jimmy like, what do you well, you know to come out and go, eh, laugh. You know, that sort of thing its scary, jimmy, you know. Jimmy yeah, but its fun you were great oh, no, i mean, i was yes, i was absolutely fantastic. [ cheers and applause i love doing standup here and i love jimmy did you always know that you wanted to do standup oh, um jimmy because i think this little girl acting yeah. Jimmy wanted to be an actress, i feel like look at this [ laughter ] thats a little head shot there. Now what was oh, my god. I just want to say that what happened to me last time i was here was kind of interesting jimmy oh, what because i came out and we practiced the set all around town it was four minutes. They were, like, four and a a half minutes tops, you know, and i, like, tried it out, the whole thing. And then i got here and i came out and i couldnt tell if the crowd was, like, feeling me. So i was like i kinda needed to work with them. And so it ended up being, like, six and half minutes jimmy why was it six and a a half minutes because i added a few spins [ light laughter ] jimmy i do remember you added yeah. Jimmy a couple spins yeah, just like [ cheers and applause i mean jimmy yeah you know what i mean . Jimmy thats your move yeah, and i felt like it made everyone more comfortable i dont know, because its, like, you know its scary because, like, even though they cant see the audience, you know, they know theyre on film even though theyre not. They feel theyre performing [ laughter ] jimmy the audience is performing yeah, like, that was jimmy them performing. Absolutely. And, like, i thought it was beautiful. [ laughter ] jimmy i think they did a a great job. Yeah, i mean, should we all get up and do one twirl . [ cheers and applause do you want me to get the lights up . Lets all do it. Its going to feel good. Youre going to on a count of three, ready [ cheers and applause [ drum roll one, two, three. Oh, my gosh. Fantastic. Happy new year, everybody [ cheers and applause happy 2020 happy new year happy 2020 pal yes i jimmy you are the best the commercial the commercial was not where i got my artistic sort of satisfaction it was more at, you know, the elementary school, the talent shows, et cetera jimmy what were you into les mis primarily that was [ cheers ] yes. It was huge. It was huge for the nation but it was huge for me my greatest moment still was probably my performance as little gavroche in the second grade. A couple of my friends said, hey, were all doing annie. were all doing a hard knock life, you know. Jimmy thats good. Lets all lay the orhpans, et cetera. And i just it was awkward, but i had to say, no, no, im going to enlist my dad to play the piano and im doing little gavroche solo. [ light laughter ] jimmy you broke out solo people always no, they want to make you part of the chorus when, you know jimmy and you were ready to be a star. Yeah, i knew i was. Jimmy you know whats funny . Yeah. Jimmy we actually got footage of you performing. Well, thats very sneaky. [ laughter ] okay jimmy because we talked to your dad we really do i want to show everyone. Heres jacqueline in her second grade talent show. This is real take a look at this. [ cheers and applause how do you do how do you do its an entrance im so proud of it jimmy and now and obviously, now look at us jimmy look at you now. But now youre off broadway. Yes jimmy i mean, man, the reviews for your show is unbelievable really . Jimmy let me tell you something about i will. Jimmy get on your knees. New york times critics pick on their best of theater 2019. Time out, new york novaks winning show does what the best comedy can do it changes the conversation. [ screams new york magazine, clearly her master work. [ screams vanity fair, get on your knees solidifies her place as a comedic powerhouse the rest of the world just needs to catch up. Oh, my [ cheers and applause jimmy bang can you explain what the show in theory, its about blow jobs jimmy okay [ laughter ] jimmy in theory, okay. In the guest, as though, you know, its a certain kind of show but truly its very highbrow, its very literary you know, its spiritual some people say, you know, because they see the title and they go, oh, oh, i know what its about. And i go, prayer. You know what i mean just because i dont think they should assume, to me, the blow job, and im only going to say it one more time, i think, that phrase jimmy sure because i think we get two to three and then were out, right . Jimmy sure, yeah, i think [ laughter ] yeah but to me, its more about the blow job as a sort of well, i think it can be a rigorous spiritual practice if you consider it [ laughter ] as an opportunity to exercise the virtue of humility [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, thats a great sell thats a great selling point sure, absolutely has your dad seen the show oh, yeah. Mom and dad have seen it uncles have seen it. I actually brought inside my shapewear. My dad [ laughter ] my dad jimmy inside your shapewear. Yeah, well, you know. Jimmy yeah some call it lingerie why hide [ laughter ] my dad sent an email to my uncle who was coming to the show they were bringing the whole family was coming to the show. And i didnt know that he sent this until after, but i feel like its a good selling point for the show jimmy sure so im just going to read it jimmy yep. This is to my uncle mark. He said my dad said, hi, mark so great to see you guys got tickets to jacquelines show, get on your knees. i wanted to quote, warn you. Theres a quote. [ light laughter ] i wanted to warn you, as you can tell by the title, that her show contains strong sexual themes, is graphic, and highly personal as jacqueline has said herself, its like going to a strip show, but even more intimate. [ laughter ] this is material they would never allow on the tonight show. [ laughter ] it will not be everyones cup of tea balancing this off however, is that her show is also witty, highbrow, and intellectual, as is all of her material. Do you see the support isnt that beautiful [ light laughter ] and then he just said, thats all. On a separate subject, are you seeing the stones . [ laughter ] jimmy thats good. I think they were seeing the stones jimmy were they seeing the stones yeah. Jimmy theyre a great band yeah. Jimmy i got to say, congrats everyone thank you jimmy that ive run into thats seen this said its brilliant. Go and how long is it running its ending . No, we just extended it jimmy you did . Yeah. Jimmy yes [ cheers and applause thank you jimmy thats big news. Thats a twirl im twirling thank you jimmy Jacqueline Novak for more info on her show [ cheers and applause go to getonyourkneesshow. Com well be right back with a a performance from lil baby. Stick around [ cheers and applause i have moderate to severe pnow, theres skyrizi. 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You know i bend her over then i he call gunna if yo want you a birkin oh baby you be lyin in your verses i be hearin say you buyin em purses i cant even li you aint my typ you aint even all that fine in person i can guarantee you if you my kind she got every ba you can imagine big house i can really be braggin hundred thousand in my mouth like whats happenin not the big chea teeth thats embarrasin he aint me you can keep the comparison my probably on of the baddest good girl turned her into a savage dispatch got a problem in traffic we came through in matching gwagon low key ive bee keeping it class could be really out here doin em nast couldnt even se me in last yea just started and them in last gear i aint even try to and i passed e giving looks i contribute to fashion drop a song i be giving them captions stand alone not your regular ra brand new car is noisy come through and its roarin you aint gotta worry dont care about your boyfriend see me and get nervous i damn near did it perfect work hard and determin its safe to say i earned it who yeah none of you guys get fly as me who matter of fact none of you guys get high as me who post my drip up dail just so they can see whoa turn me up some mor so my haters can hear it whoa i put the in the back of the car and i tell em to go she hit when she lan she bring me the bands she back on the roa she know how i get when i get in that mod aint with aint buying no clothes wanna do shows and make me some songs make sure that other come in get sol we with the stripper cause we play with pole we play with our money and not with our nose i used to go to th west to get load i just came back from the west with a troph im on some more she said she miss it and sendin emojis no time to kick i im always in motion cant say i miss you i dont got emotions im on that back when slept on the floor im on that me an the bro kick a door im on that back when stood at the stove aint goin brok im just back on my old im takin drug i dont know how to cope it and i know one thing im never gon be hopeles cause if you tell em what was said you a rodent drive the new corvette like its stolen yeah brand new car is noisy come through and its roarin you aint gotta worry dont care about your boyfriend see me and get nervous i damn near did it perfec work hard and determin its safe to say i earned it who yeah none of you guys get fly as me who matter of fact none of you guys get high as me who post my drip up dail just so they can see whoa turn me up some more so my haters can hear i brand new car is noisy come through and its roarin you aint gotta worr dont care about your boyfriend see me and get nervou i near did it perfec work hard and determin its safe to say i earned it whoa yeah none of you guys get fly as me whoa matter of fact none of you guys get high as m whoa post my drip up dail just so they can see who turn me up some more s my haters can hear i whoa [ cheers and applause jimmy oh that is how you do it come on. That was fantastic yo, standing o right there standing ovation lil baby [ cheers and applause woah. Woah, is out now well be right back, everybody [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy lil baby killed it right there. Lil baby right there [ cheers and applause my thanks to Shaquille Oneal, Jacqueline Novak, lil baby and the roots right there from philadelphia [ cheers and applause stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Thank you for watching have a great night i hope to see you tomorrow byebye, everybody [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight senator Elizabeth Warren creator of broadways american utopia, artist david byrne, music from h. E. R featuring the 8g band with caitlin kalafus. [ cheers and applause ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. Seth good evening, im seth meyers. This is late night. How is everybody doing tonight [ cheers and applause yeah thats fantastic to hear in that case lets get to the news well, happy new year, everyone its 2020