[ laughter ] President Trump this morning promoted the opening of his resort maralago for the season, tweeting i will be there in two weeks, the southern white house. Which is weird because i thought this was the southern white house. [ laughter ] following numerous reports about his inability to build support from africanamerican voters, mayor Pete Buttigieg said in a new interview that he has a lot more work to do to earn the trust of the black Community Unfortunately his very next words were my name is pete and im here to say [ laughter and applause [ cheers and applause during last nights House Committee meeting on impeachment, republican Louie Gohmert became the first person to publicly name the suspected ukraine whistleblower said gohmert, look, this all started with melania yall got Holiday Plans . [ laughter and applause the white house held a Congressional Ball this evening, while Mitch Mcconnell held two president ial balls [ laughter and applause [ cheers and applause a california man has been sentenced to six months in jail after eating a cookie from an event meant to feed the homeless said the man, me think me might have a problem [ laughter and applause me knew it was wrong. Doctors are warning people to moderate their food intake in the coming weeks to avoid socalled holiday heart syndrome, which is an irregular heart rhythm caused by poor nutrition. And its especially bad for americans around the holidays of thanksgiving, christmas, new years, president s day, easter, mothers day [ laughter ] fathers day, the fourth of july, arbor day, labor day and tuesday through sunday [ cheers and applause watch out. And finally, new yorks annual santacon bar crawl is this weekend. The day youre most likely [ cheers and applause so you guys think this will be a positive take on it . [ laughter ] okay okay lets see which way this joke goes the day youre most likely to hear, mommy, why is santas penis out . [ laughter and applause ladies and gentlemen [ cheers and applause we got a great show for you tonight. A couple of our favorites are here you know her from her work on the hit series the americans. You can see her next in star wars the rise of skywalker in theaters and imax december 20th. Keri russell is back [ cheers and applause she is a very funny comedian whose latest special, Michelle Wolf joke show is streaming now on netflix Michelle Wolf is back, you guys. [ cheers and applause were always delighted to see her. Before before we get to our wonderful guests, today the House Judiciary Committee debated two articles of impeachment against President Trump setting the stage for a vote of the full house for more on this its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause seth well, here we are were getting closer to the day when the full house will vote on two articles of impeachment against trump. For three years, this moment has somehow felt both inevitable and also impossible at the same time weve all been in this weird limbo where every day, trump does something that makes you think, that dudes going to get impeached. And then the next morning, you wake up, check your phone, and theres a news alert that says something like, republicans shrug off trump threats to release nude pics unless france sells him the eiffel tower. [ laughter and applause and then you tune into cnn, and sure enough, theres one republican after another dodging reporters and literally hiding in elevators to avoid answering questions. Republicans spent so much time in elevators, ted cruz is just going to start showing up to the senate looking like a bellhop. [ laughter ] thanks to trump, republicans in elevators react to reporters the way the rest of us react to that weird coworker whos always inviting you to his dj gigs. Oh, [ bleep ], its gary, hes going to give me one of those fliers that say dj gmoney [ laughter ] in fact, trump himself is reportedly angry that hes been impeached and also shocked that it took this long to get him cnn reported yesterday that after all the scandals hes weathered and all the crimes hes been implicated in, trumps actually surprised that this this is the one that got him were hearing President Trump is growing increasingly aggravated over the likelihood that he will be impeached. Meanwhile, a separate trump adviser said the president has been preparing in his mind for some time that this moment would arrive, suspecting for the better part of the last year that democrats would try to impeach him after taking control of the house last year this adviser said mr. Trump is somewhat taken aback, we should note, that its the ukraine scandal that is leading to this moment, leading to his impeachment in the house we can put this up on screen, this adviser said, and we want to show this quote, frankly, i think hes little surprised, talking about the president here, that its the ukraine thing thats done it. [ laughter ] seth that is an amazing confession think about that thats like getting pulled over for a broken taillight and saying, taillight i got, like, ten dead bodies in my trunk [ laughter ] aint this is a kick in the head. [ laughter and applause but its true, trump is blatantly and repeatedly abused his powers he obstructed justice in the russia probe, inflicted human rights abuses on migrant families, profited from his office, solicited a bribe. And paid hush money in an illegal scheme to cover up an affair and on top of all that, he attacked a 16yearold climate activist, greta thunberg, simply for trying to save the planet from an existential crisis trump tweeted today, greta must work on her anger management problem then go to a good oldfashioned movie with a friend chill, greta, chill. [ audience ohs ] you want her to chill . [ light laughter ] whenever you scream, you look like a tick thats about to burst. I mean, look at him. [ laughter and applause he looks like a rabid possum hissing at you for disturbing his nest [ laughter and applause also, you are a 73yearold man attacking a 16yearold activist, because she cares about the environment. Think about how sad that is. You are a husk of a man. Actually not even, for there to have been a husk of a man, there would have had to been a man to begin with youre a husk of a husk. You are a russian nesting doll of husks [ cheers and applause and on top of all that on top of all that, at this very moment, trumps henchmen are still in the process of committing crimes for him. His lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, traveled to europe and specifically ukraine to keep digging up dirt on trumps political opponents. With the heat on Rudy Giuliani, in the midst of the ukrainian investigation, rudy has decided theres no better time for a trip to eastern europe, interviewing people about ukraine more specifically, working on a new project to discredit the democrats case against the president. Seth thats right. In the middle of an impeachment inquiry about ukraine, rudy decided to go back to ukraine. Thats like going back to the bank you robbed to get your Christmas Card photo taken on the security camera. [ laughter ] rudy also went to ukraine as he, himself, is personally under criminal investigation for his ties to ukraine. And one of his already indicted henchmen, lev parnas is also in even more hot water now. Remember these two lev and his buddy, igor. You know, the guys who look like two cab drivers from queens fighting over a passenger. Hey, i was here first. Im going to kill you. Okay, see you at christmas. [ laughter ] you are my brother. [ light laughter ] well, yesterday prosecutors asked to revoke parnas bail and revealed an incriminating detail about a large sum of money from a foreign country. And youll never guess which country that money came from and u. S. Prosecutors are seeking to revoke bail for lev parnas, an associate of Rudy Giuliani for lying about a 1 million payment from russia seth thats right, he got a Million Dollars from someone in russia the only way that could be more suspicious is if it came in the form of a gym bag filled with unmarked rubles with a luggage tag that said v. Putin [ laughter ] its like all the threads of every trump scandal is coming together rudy, secret money, ukraine, russia i wouldnt be surprised if, at this point, Robert Mueller himself came to arrest trump, tore off his mask and revealed that he was Stormy Daniels the whole time [ laughter ] now, usually usually, republicans are able to dodge questions about all this by hiding in elevators. Thats one of the many reasons these public impeachment hearings have been so valuable republicans have been forced to sit there and confront the evidence in plain sight. And weve all been able to see in real time that they have no defense. They have nothing. Thats why, for example, so many of them talk so fast theyre hoping you cant make out any of the words, because they know what theyre saying is ambassador taylor recalls that mr. Morrison told ambassador taylor that i told mr. Morrison that i conveyed this message to mr. Yarmak on september 1st, 2019 in connection with Vice President pences visit to warsaw they forget the fact that two guys on the call, President Trump and president zelensky, have said repeatedly there was no pressure, no linkage, no pushing. They forget the fact that ukraine didnt even know aid was held at the time of the call and they forget the fact most important, they did nothing to get the aid released, no announcement of any type of investigation. Seth he sounds like the narrator at the end of a drug commercial warning you about the side effects [ laughter ] impeachment may cause fever, headache, vomiting, diarrhea, blurry vision, and of course, loss of balance. [ laughter and applause these guys dont have any actual argument so they just speed through a string of rightwing buzzwords as fast as possible and hope it sounds like a coherent sentence. But sometimes, even they get confused by their own bull [ bleep ]. Like the time Lindsey Graham tried to attack the motives of trumps handpicked ambassador gordon sondland, the guy who gave a Million Dollars to trumps inaugural committee, who said unequivocally under oath that there was a quid pro quo with ukraine, and who pulled a fleabag in this photo [ laughter ] where he looked directly into the camera during his hearing. [ laughter and applause thats fantastic that looks like the postcredit scene from Ferris Buellers day off. [ laughter ] well graham tried to claim on fox news that sondland was somehow working with the democrats on the committee and that the Ukrainian Company hunter biden worked for, which was called burisma, deserved to be investigated. And yet graham couldnt pronounce either the name burisma or the name sondland there was concern that the prosecutor was getting too close to hunter biden, that people from barmusa, whatever the name of the company, a conversation with sunderland. Now, heres a question why did sunderland change his testimony . Was there a connection between sunderland and democratic operatives on the committee . It makes me incredily incredibly suspicious. Why did sunderland change his mind seth i dont know, why did you change his name to sunderland its like when your dad tries to text you about a movie he just saw, but cant remember any of the names. I like that actor, whats his name leonardo decrapio . [ light laughter ] weve seen this in hearing after hearing. Republicans just ramble nonsensically, because its their only tactic. All the evidence is there as democrats laid out in their speeches during the Judiciary Committees markup hearing on wednesday night and again this morning. President donald j. Trump wielded the enormous powers of the presidency to cheat in the 2020 election. We must hold this president accountable for corrupting our democracy. The ongoing pattern of this president s abuse of power, his obstruction of investigations, refusing to turn over even one document in this scheme, donald trump was not an incidental player he was the central player. The president was the first and best witness in this case. The president is the smoking gun. Seth its true, trump is the smoking gun. And much like a gun, his brain is only capable of holding six words at a time. [ laughter ] republicans have no coherent defense, so they just have to make stuff up. And in some cases, i mean, theyre literally making up words. Today during the Judiciary Committee debate, the ranking member, doug collins, complained once again about the impeachment process, which is both in the constitution and has been open to the public. And collins seemed to make up a word it is amazing, though, did you hear now theyve gotten really sensitive about process on the majority side. When we actually pointed out the tragedy and the travesty of being a rubber stamp in this committee, and the gentleman from florida has brought out a couple things. But let me just remind, as he said just a few minutes the ago, the white house is going to send everything no, its just like Everything Else it all goes to the whim and the whimber of the chairman in the majority seth the whim and the whimber sounds like the name of a russian soap opera about lev and igor [ laughter ] trump was just worried about corruption in general and that he wasnt demanding an investigation into his political rival joe biden, even though trump mentioned the bidens by name on his infamous phone call multiple times so, that argument is obviously ridiculous this whole thing was all about joe biden and the democrats. Trump and republicans had full control of the government for two years and didnt say a word about corruption in ukraine until biden announced his candidacy. And denying that basic fact makes you look ridiculous, which is what happened to republican lawyer steve castor at the judiciary hearing on monday when he tried to claim that joe biden was not a frontrunner in the president ial race. Sir, would you agree that joe biden was a leading democratic contender to face President Trump in 2020 . I wouldnt agree with that. You disagree with it. So, sir, its your testimony its too early. That President Trump did not view President Biden to be a legitimate contender i dont know what President Trump believed or didnt believe, but its too early. Sir, as part of your inquiry, did you determine whether President Trump tweeted at all about former Vice President joe biden between january and july 25th . And how many times i didnt look at twitter. I try to stay off twitter lately [ mumbling ] [ laughter ] [ mumbling ] i get my news from twitter. I keep all my information right here in my grocery bag. [ laughter ] [ mumbling ] i got some old shoes im taking to goodwill. Got some trail mix that i made oh, heres that metro card i found my metro card, you guys. [ light laughter ] republicans seem to believe that if you disagree with him, you are illegitimate that the process of holding a lawless president responsible for his abuses of power is illegitimate, and that trump and his cohorts are simply above the law. And so as the house prepares to pass articles of impeachment and move to a trial in the senate, Lindsey Graham, who chairs the Judiciary Committee in the senate, has said he has one goal, to end the trial as quickly as possible without even calling witnesses. My goal is to end this as soon as possible for the good of the country, because i think its a danger to the presidency to legitimize this. A couple things here, then, does that mean no witnesses at all . I dont need any witnesses at all. Okay. And then i am ready to go. In terms of time, is it a week, is it two weeks, is it a month, what is it . Its closer to a week, for sure seth a week. You want to call zero witnesses and hold the trial in a week most trials take forever roger stones trial took so long it started in the 18th century look at that [ laughter ] thats his actual outfit from the inauguration he looks like he got arrested for carjacking the hindenburg. [ laughter ] we now finally have two articles of impeachment awaiting a full house vote, which will likely make trump the third president in history to be impeached republicans have no defense. All they can do is accuse democrats of following the whim and the whimber. Seth this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause well be right back with more late night everybody [ cheers and applause announcer for more of seths closer looks, be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. Ve you, miss you guys military moms family love you joy ofodu we got this kids wow santa was here military moms husband whoa. military moms husband how did this happen . military mom i think i know. military moms husband Merry Christmas honey. military mom Merry Christmas kids look, its snowing. Too shabby too much i can rent this . For that price . Absolutely. Its just right book your just right rental at thrifty. Com. [ cheers and applause seth welcome back, you guys. 2019 is coming to an end and we have talked a lot about the news this year but not everyone is an auditory learner. Some people retain information better when its presented visually so to make sure those viewers caught up on everything that happened, two of my writers, jenny hagel and amber ruffin have created some visual aids. And theyd like to present them now in a segment called late night dioramas. [ cheers and applause seth oh. Very hey, say hi to amber and jenny, everybody [ cheers and applause there they are oh, my gosh. You guys, i cant wait to see these diarrhea dioramas you guys made. [ laughter ] the dioramas that you guys made seth, we cant wait to show them to you seth great we were up all night making them seth oh, thats great. And just to be clear, i have not seen these before. So this is exciting for me he really has never seen these. Seth yeah, so thats great thats why i said diarrhea instead of diorama [ laughter ] so tell us, you guys, tell us what happened in 2019. Well, the first big story of the year was that Robert Mueller released his report on the russia scandal it was a complicated story, so if you found it hard to follow, take a look at this diorama. Seth all right there we go. Okay, okay. So, this is Robert Mueller and hes like, my report is 400 pages long. Seth okay. And this is william barr. And hes like, heres my summary. Its a postit note. [ laughter ] seth okay. And then this is congress and theyre like, were too busy to read it. And then Elizabeth Warren is like, not me, bitches [ cheers and applause seth oh wow, she already read it. Shes like, ima read the whole freaking thing. Seth wow, thats really thats well made thank you seth yeah. And you made this, jenny yeah, i built this tiny fire. Seth thats great. And everything. Seth it really gets it across and its really helpful, because it says right on it mueller report. Yeah. And seth, you know what this is . You know what this is . Seth whats this thats a diorama. Seth thats a diorama. Guys, i would say were off and running. [ cheers and applause ] okay. Next up. Seth next up the final season of the hbo show game of thrones aired this year. Seth it aired this year, yeah do you remember that . Seth i do remember that. Okay, in one episode, a starbucks cup accidentally appeared on screen seth right i thought, thats crazy seth yeah. Crazy enough for it a diorama seth yeah. [ laughter ] okay. So seth all right great. Heres Daenerys Targaryen seth okay, great and shes like, my nephew is hot. And then heres jon snow and hes like, should i bone my aunt i probably should. [ light laughter ] and then, heres a starbucks cup on the table seth right, yeah but thats not the only mistake. Over here, arya stark is making a smoothie seth oh. [ laughter ] and if you look closely, you can see bran on the stairmaster. Seth oh, wow [ light laughter ] theres a lot of things that dont quite fit. A lot of things went wrong. Seth oh, look at that. But heres the writers room and when they saw it, this writer was like, hey, this isnt my coffee cup. [ laughter ] oh, no seth oh, right yeah [ applause ] got the surprised eyes yeah. Seth very well made. Thank you seth yeah. You know what i would call this seth what would you call it . This is a diorama seth thats a diorama, everybody. Yes seth here we go. [ cheers and applause now seth thats two dioramas were off and running. Two down. Two down now next up the u. S. Womens National Soccer team won the world cup this year. Seth thats right, yeah. And they did it [ cheers and applause ] and they did it while getting trash talked by donald trump seth yeah. It was amazing. It was inspiring and to celebrate, i made this diorama. Seth okay. Here we go oh. Yeah, so as you can see, heres the womens soccer team seth uhhuh. They are like, we are very good athletes. [ light laughter ] and heres a tweet from trump. And hes like, i dont like you then Megan Rapinoe scored all these goals. And then she did this. Seth oh. Look at that thats very good [ cheers and applause ah . Seth very nice and then, heres the u. S. Mens team. And theyre all at home taking a nap, but theyre getting paid eight times more [ laughter and applause seth yeah. A little bit of a commentary at the end. Yeah, its a box, but its social commentary. Seth gotcha. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Seth and what would you call this whole thing from top to bottom you know, i would call it a diorama. Seth a diorama yeah, thats very good beautiful [ cheers and applause but that wasnt the only big sports story this year seth what a good transition. Are you familiar with the gymnast, simone biles . Seth yes [ cheers and applause and not only because you talk about her all the time [ laughter ] i do. I am her [ laughter ] well, this year she became the first person ever to land a double twisting double back dismount from the beam it was a very big deal seth yeah. How big a deal was it seth how big so big that i made this diorama. Seth diorama [ light laughter ] now here is simone biles. Seth okay. Shes on the balance beam heres her coach and her coach is like, you can do it. We believe in you. And then heres the judges and theyre not even watching, because they know shes gonna nail it. Seth okay. Now, if youre having trouble visualizing a double twisting double back, worry no more it looked exactly like this. Seth oh boy, im so excited. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause its like she is here with us seth i am i want to i retroactively bring back my excitement that i have [ laughter ] what would you call that, though oh, this . Seth yeah. That aint nothing but a diorama. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause next up seth next up seth, a new book about Queen Elizabeth came out this year seth what . And in it, it actually truly really said that the queen has a staff member of hers break in all her shoes before she wears them seth thats crazy. I cant believe it you know how crazy it is . Seth what . So crazy that i made this diorama. Seth diorama now, here is the queen, and shes like, break in my shoes. [ light laughter ] and then heres this staff member, and shes like, im trying to break in your shoes seth right, she has a different accent [ light laughter ] shes australian . Seth its like, low. Shes australian yeah yeah. [ laughter ] and then heres Meghan Markle and shes like, help these people are crazy [ laughter ] but the thing about Meghan Markle is, shes as good a gymnast as simone biles. [ laughter and applause seth that might have been a little better, just fyi. A little better and then, heres the room where the queen keeps all of her hats. Seth oh, my gosh and then in this room is where she keeps her crossbow seth what . She has a crossbow [ light laughter ] yeah, she has one, shes all like, you stay away from my crown jewels. Seth alright, alright. [ laughter ] a working crossbow you dont often see those in together dioramas. [ laughter and applause [ cheers and applause seth really good seth, that was very fun but thats not even the most fun thing that happened in 2019. Seth thanks for saying that very fun [ laughter ] id like the audience to know when theyre having a good time. Seth yeah, yeah. They are having a good time. Yeah the most fun story of the year was when donald trump got booed at game five of the world series seth donald trump got booed at the world series. Thats right it was great. Seth yeah. [ cheers and applause yes loved it seth yep i loved it so much, that i made this together diorama so heres trump, and hes like, hello, good job on the baseball. [ light laughter ] seth yeah, thats right. That sounds like him yeah yeah, dead on and then heres the crowd. And theyre all like, boo, you did a lot of crimes seth yep [ laughter ] and then heres a guy holding a beer that he bought at the game so it cost 100 seth uhhuh, yeah. [ light laughter ] and then heres the nationals mascot and hes like, aw, man, i went to juilliard. [ laughter ] so when trump first heard the crowd, he thought they were cheering so he was smiling like this. But then he realized they were booing, and his face did this. Seth oh, look at that. [ laughter and applause yeah. Seth very well built [ cheers and applause thank you seth very, very well built thank you, thank you. And that, my friend, is a together diorama and finally, seth seth yes, amber . The democrats had their one billionth primary debate on november the 20th. Seth okay. And heres what it looked like okay so these three guys are going, yap, yap, yap, taxes and stuff. These three people are going, we have something to say about that. And theyre all talking and debating, and laying out their platform and theyre having lots of fun, but not as much fun as all the people who dropped out [ laughter ] seth look at them. They are having so much fun. And just to be clear, one more time, you guys made all these dioramas yourselves . We absolutely did not the Art Department did please give them a huge hand [ cheers and applause seth give it up for the Art Department and also, amber and jenny. This has been late night dioramas. 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Coady, we really appreciate it thank you seth our first guest tonight is a golden globewinning actress you know from shows, like felicity and the americans. You can see her in star wars the rise of skywalker, which is in theaters and imax december 20th please welcome back to the show keri russell, everyone [ cheers and applause seth welcome back. Thanks, seth. Seth so, this is i mean, a movie like this is under wraps. Its so under wraps seth tightly under wraps have you seen it i did see it. Seth okay, gotcha. What was it like its so fun i mean, this movie, its unlike any other movie. You sit down and we saw it with the cast and i brought matthew, my guy. And you sit there, and you watch it the second you hear that music, its like, oh, my gosh and as soon as that music started i looked at matthew and i said, how angry are you that its me and not you in this movie right now . [ laughter ] and he was, like, so bummed. [ laughter ] seth thats great that he can be honest about how bummed he is. [ laughter ] totally seth now, of course, matthew rhys is your guy he is also in a big holiday movie. He is seth hes in the mr. Rogers film yes seth with tom hanks and its interesting because, i mean, you were in a film, that again, so under wraps, like no spoilers hes in a film where i feel like theres no way to spoil the mr. Rogers movie no. [ laughter ] seth its not, like its, like you know in the end, he turns out to be the killer [ laughter ] its crazy. Seth yeah, but it must be nice that you both have these big films, and people are saying so many nice things about, are out at the same time its fun. Hes basically, like the real, like, hardcore actor and im just, like, doing the pop stuff. Im, like what do you got ill wear a helmet [ laughter ] yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, im cool. Seth whats your characters name is it zorii . Zorii seth zorii bliss zorii, yeah seth but, you wear a helmet the whole film [ laughter ] i think so. Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] and i think this is i hope im right, thats bitcoin. [ laughter ] but you and so you but, it must have been how is it as an actor to, like, lose, you know, the face, which is a lot of people would say one of the real moneymakers for an actor . [ laughter ] i think i think this character and my enjoyment in this character, wearing a helmet show is directly equivalent with my ambition in this business [ light laughter ] like, most people would be like, i want my face to show in star wars. im like, no, this is perfect for me. Seth yeah. This is exactly the level i want to be in star wars. [ laughter ] no, but i mean, the only yes, you have to be, like aware of your body and sell the story with your body seth right, youre not just like i did a lot of this seth yeah. [ light laughter ] oh, my god right seth just seeing that, i want to see the movie now. Im so excited. [ laughter ] but, you know, i mean, its yeah seth and the craziest thing to me is yeah. Seth j. J. Abrams and you. I know. Seth he directed this film you play zorii bliss you guys met and worked on felicity. Its true [ applause ] seth which is [ cheers and applause thanks. Thank you. Seth i mean, not thanks, guys. Seth i mean, first, you know, its amazing but i would say theyre very far apart as far as projects [ laughter ] i imagine on the wrap of felicity he didnt say, 20 years from now, you, me, and a helmet. [ laughter ] no, he did not. I know but, the truth is, j. J. Is the same on those first two days of felicity as he is shooting star wars. Hes the same kind of so excited, ubercapable positive person and i think thats, you know, just, like, the gift of him and his part of his success. Seth do you remember what it was like when you first auditioned for felicity . Because both of you were relatively unknown at the time, yeah yeah, i was probably 20yearsold he, not much older and you know, hed never done a tv show like that before. So, we were both new doing that and, you know, the whole thing about when you screen test for a tv show like, im a nervous person now 25 years into this business at 20, i was really nervous. Seth yeah. So, i remember, i went in for one of the final things. And i probably bombed, because youre in front of, like, 15 guys in suits and i walked out like, oh, that was awful. And he chased me down the hall and said, whoa, what happened . And he pulled me into this coffee machine room. Hey, hey, what happened . And hes like, dont you want to be on this Amazing Network with, like, people like this . And it was whatever, like, whatever janky show they had on the thing. [ laughter ] and he just made me laugh about five minutes and hes like, come back in come back in. Seth oh, really . Yeah. Seth so, it wasnt like he ran you down and said, that was great. Dont be nervous. He was, like that was so bad. That was so bad [ laughter ] seth you have to come back, which is still amazing. It is seth and then you and you actually managed to cause i would imagine the level of difficulty in going in and basically having to admit to them like, hey, i can do this better. Yeah, like, its me again. [ laughter ] seth yeah. Hi, im going to do better i swear. Seth thats really kind of seth what a cool thing, though i know. But i feel, like j. J. Has this rare thing of, like, funny, and heartbreak and humor all wrapped into one and i just feel like i speak his language, and we just have a shorthand. We always have seth thats really nice. And then i was well, you know, as we were talking about felicity i remember, of course, there was a very famous hairstyle in felicity. [ laughter ] there was seth and people were very upset that it got cut. Thats true seth and that you must have been very happy every day you put on a helmet and said, this is not going to be a problem. [ laughter ] cause you dont know whats happening. Seth youre never going to see. Yeah. Seth we dont know which of felicitys two haircuts zorii bliss has. [ laughter ] you have a when matthew was here, he was talking about the fact that you have a bobble head, your character and he brought it home and showed to your son, sam, i believe. Sam, yes. Seth and what is it like having knowing that not only are you a toy now, but this will be a toy that will live on for generations . Is that exciting instantly all i thought about was so, i have a 12yearold son as well, and when he was little, like 5, he had these friends that used to play around in the backyard and instantly what i thought of was going downstairs to, like, clean up the backyard where i found wonder woman, probably armless, facedown in the dirt. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] and i was, like wow. Thats my future. [ laughter ] seth yeah. Thats my future. Seth theres not a lot of respect in the long run. I was, like oof. I was, like ooh, this is going to be gory, but great. Seth yeah. Right, your bobble head right now is happy, having a grand old time [ laughter ] yeah. Seth you matthew also, to go back to mr. Rogers. Yeah. Seth he admitted when he was here that hed never heard of mr. Rogers had never he seth no, again, hes welsh hes welsh. Seth so, thats a little bit of an excuse yeah. So, he read it and was sort of, like eh. And i was, like, uh wait mr. What . You dont know mr. Rogers . And i was like, whoa. Then i took him to see the documentary, and then he got it. Seth oh, thats good then he got it. Seth because i will say, if you havent heard of him, like it is a crazy if you read a script about him without knowing, youd be like, and people watched it on tv . [ laughter ] its so true. Seth he would take his shoes and sweaters off every day and people were like, yeah, im sticking around for this. [ laughter ] and talked really slowly. [ laughter ] so true. Seth thats so true. I know. Seth hey, thank you for being here thanks, seth. Seth congrats on the film. [ cheers and applause thank you so much seth always a delight. Keri russell star wars the rise of skywalker is in theaters and imax december 20th well be right back with Michelle Wolf. [ cheers and applause i thought i was managing my moderate to severe Crohns Disease. Then i realized something was missing. Me. My symptoms were keeping me from being there. So, i talked to my doctor and learned humira is for people who still have symptoms of Crohns Disease after trying other medications. And the majority of people on humira saw significant symptom relief and many achieved remission in as little as 4 weeks. Humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. Serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. Before treatment, get tested for tb. Tell your doctor if youve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if youve had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flulike symptoms or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. Be there for you, and them. Ask your gastroenterologist about humira. With humira, remission is possible. December 13th through the at pets20th. Save up to 50 on holiday toys and treats. Cuddler dog beds are only 9. 99 plus this weekend, bring in your family and pets for a free photo with santa. Now at petsmart too shabby too much i can rent this . For that price . Absolutely. Its just right book your just right rental at thrifty. Com. Its just right finally a little oh my goodness. . I love you, yes its true theres no one else id choose this may not completely rhyme, but id be totally lost without you. Its so beautiful. This holiday, save on a gift that says it all during jareds 12 days to say it all. Jared here, it all starts withello hi . How can i help . A data plan for everyone. Everyone . Everyone. Lets send to everyone wifi up there . Uhh. Sure, why not . Howd he get out . a camera might figure it out. That was easy glad i could help. At xfinity, were here to make life simple. Easy. Awesome. So come ask, shop, discover at your local xfinity store today. [ cheers and applause seth every wednesday and friday we release a podcast edition of late night so you can catch up on the go its audio from the show and includes a closer look, comedy bits, and guest interviews plus extra things exclusive for the podcast, like bonus backstage interviews, chats with the late night staff, original comedy sketches, and more. Head to latenightsethpodcast. Com to subscribe and its free, which is great. O. Pretty cool, huh . Theyre speaking to mom in japanese, and mom hears them in english. Can you understand me . Yes, i can understand you. Okay. I have a lot of questions. How do you guys fly . What does santa do in the summer . Is mrs. Claus a good cook . Do you guys get presents . Can you roller skate or ice skate . You dont let a cold ruin your day. You take dayquil severe liquicaps and crush it. Dayquil severe. The daytime, coughing, aching, stuffyhead, fever, sore throat, power through your day, medicine. military moms family love you miss you guys joy ofodu we got this kids wow santa was here military moms husband whoa. military moms husband how did this happen . military mom i think i know. military moms husband Merry Christmas honey. military mom Merry Christmas kids look, its snowing. You too, have a great day. Five years ago. I had psoriasis everywhere. Head to toe. People were afraid i was contagious. 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The most common side effects are headache, diarrhea, nausea, trouble sleeping, and tiredness. So much goes into who i am and hope to be. Ask your doctor if starting hiv treatment with dovato is right for you. [ cheers and applause seth our next guest is an emmynominated writer and comedian you know from her show the break with Michelle Wolf and her work on the daily show and here at late night. Her latest standup special joke show is currently streaming on netflix. Please welcome back to the show one of our favorites, Michelle Wolf, everybody [ cheers and applause seth welcome back. Thank you for having me back. Seth congratulations on your special. Its fantastic you used to write here yes seth and you i know you tour more than anybody youre on the road all the time, even when youre in new york youre doing sets. Do you have time to keep up with politics are you paying attention to the election um, ive paid enough attention that i can tell this joke or i can take a closer look seth oh, wow [ light laughter ] at this joke seth that was really good. Why dont i get a graphic [ laughter ] you work here for two years. Yeah like, i try to be a good i step off the party line seth yeah. Quite a bit. Like, i know were supposed to be mad at joe biden, cause he touched a bunch of women over a couple decades seth yeah. That never made me mad. That made me like him more seth gotcha. Which, not the most feminist point of view. Seth right [ light laughter ] but i do have two pretty good reasons. One, if you look at every woman who joe biden gave a neck massage to, it does look like it felt good. Seth okay. [ laughter ] he looks like he just has those hands that know where the knots are. Seth yeah. Like, every woman walked away from that being like, no, he did get it, though. [ laughter ] annoying but also, you look at every woman who joe biden touched, every woman who joe biden kissed the top of her little head, youll see this guy doesnt have a type hes doing it to everybody [ light laughter ] hes not discriminating. Its old, young, white, black, this guy is swiping right on the whole country. [ light laughter ] and thats what i feel like we need right now seth yeah. [ light laughter ] a creepy old man who will love every single one of us. Seth there you go. [ laughter ] i stand behind joe biden, because when youre behind him, he cant touch you [ laughter and applause seth you talk about immigration yes seth in your special as well and maybe a similar take on this, and maybe how were framing it wrong yeah. Yeah, i mean, like, i have a friend, shes really worried about immigrants coming in and taking our jobs. And im like, well, youre a stayathome mom [ laughter ] so, you know seth yeah. Balls sort of in your court on that one. Im much more worried about americans taking immigrant jobs. Like, i got a massage from a midwestern white lady [ light laughter ] and it essentially felt like a cat was walking on my back for an hour. And not like an angry or a hungry cat just a happy cat [ laughter ] trying to find a place to sleep. [ light laughter ] and then a couple weeks later, i got a massage from a korean man. And he pressed into my back with the pressure that he had left his whole family behind. [ laughter ] its a great massage [ light laughter ] you need a massage from someone whos been through something [ light laughter ] you cant get a massage from a woman named meredith, where the worst thing that ever happened to her was the one time she got bangs. [ laughter ] but you dont want a massage from someone who wants to give you a massage. You want a massage from someone who has to give you a massage. [ light laughter ] two very different people. [ light laughter ] someone who wants to touch your naked back for an hour, thats a serial killer. [ laughter ] someone who has to give you a massage, someone whos like, this [ bleep ] piece of [ bleep ] comes in here and says her neck is sore from sleeping wrong . [ laughter ] i work 70 hours a day [ laughter ] i live three states away, and i bike to work in this piece of [ bleep ]. And the whole time youre thinking, this is a great massage. [ laughter and applause seth i [ cheers and applause put massage tables on the border seth you still send in jokes every now and then and more often than not, i text you, michelle, why would you think i can tell this joke on tv [ light laughter ] and i thought it would be nice to prove that. I picked three that youve sent. Mhm [ light laughter ] seth and i just want you to picture if it was me saying this in a monologue yeah. Yes. I wrote these for seth seth yeah. Theyre in seths voice seth no, theyre not [ light laughter ] and and i think they would have gone over very well are you sure you dont want to do this one . Seth im positive. You sure . [ laughter ] seth im positive on all of them all the words in it seth i dont want to do any of the words in them you want to do one of the words . Seth no, go ahead. Okay. So im seth. Theres probably like a graphic here [ laughter ] according to new reports, prince harry and duchess Meghan Markle who are expecting their first child this month are considering raising their newborn as a vegan. Does that mean the [ bleep ] milk is up for grabs . Said the queen. [ laughter ] its the best joke of the night. [ cheers and applause thats good. If you love that one, just wait for this killer. Australian news outlets are reporting a fire at a Genetics Laboratory has destroyed thousands of dollars worth of cryogenically frozen bull semen. What a dijizzster. [ laughter and applause the only thing to do is to make a comeback [ laughter ] the loss is severe, but it wont be spermanent. [ light laughter ] semen. Seth semen the last one is the one the one i most didnt want to say. [ light laughter ] are you having any doubts about it no, i think dijizzster, i mean, that joke just got a bunch of people pregnant, so seth i would have gone jizzaster. Jizzaster see . Come on [ laughter and applause yeah no one will ever know why my show was canceled. [ light laughter ] seth bring them home okay. Seth and just so you know, no matter how the audience responds, as soon as its over, im going to say Michelle Wolf, everybody. So we dont have to worry about it no, but i think we should wait for them to laugh for a really long time seth im going to cut it off right away, because im confident [ light laughter ] guys seth confident laughter. Guys, take a deep breath now. Youre going to need it. [ light laughter ] fill those lungs up with air, and lets prove this man wrong officials in florida yesterday [ light laughter ] officials in florida yesterday pulled over a woman who was hiding a footlong alligator in her yoga pants [ light laughter ] its the classic, is that an alligator in your pocket or you just have a really flappy vagina . [ laughter and applause seth Michelle Wolf, everybody [ cheers and applause her special joke show is streaming on netflix well be right back. [ cheers and applause at hertz, we know that a change of scenery shouldnt mean a change in standards. Thats why thanks to you were rated number one in Customer Satisfaction by j. D. Power. Were rated number one [ drathis holiday. Tion ahhhhh ahhhhh a distant friend returns. Elliott. You came back and while lots of things have changed. Wooooah woah its called the internet. Some things havent. Get ready for a reunion 3 million light years in the making. Woohoo yeah [ cheers and applause seth my thanks to keri russell, Michelle Wolf, everybody. Coady willis and, of course, the 8g band. Stay tuned for lilly singh. Well see you tomorrow [ cheers and applause. Announcer tonight on a little late with lilly singh. Lilly drake has gotten sidelined harder than lonzo ball with the lakers. [ laughter ] announcer and lilly what they said was, just following up. What they meant was, ho, did i stutter . [ laughter ] announcer plus lilly deepak chopra. I tried lsd in medical school lilly was it part of the curriculum or just [ light laughter ] no, we has some students from harvard. [ light laughter ]