Called cummings primarily black district a, quote, disgusting rat and rodentinfested mess. Adding, quote, no human being would want to live there. Now, that sounds racist [ laughter ] President Trump today continued his attacks [ laughter ] on representative Elijah Cummings and the city of baltimore. Tweeting, quote, baltimore can be brought back, maybe even to new heights of success and glory, but not with king elijah and that crew. Well, okay bane. [ laughter and applause next trumps going to tweet, we have 12 hours to find what hes buried in the ravens 50 yard line. [ light laughter ] the clock is ticking, mr. Cummings. [ light laughter ] my banes Getting Better [ light laughter ] according to politico, President Trump reads at least four newspapers a day, though i think that number will go down once he realizes you can open them [ laughter ] oh, no. Oh oh, theres so many more [ cheers and applause theres more sections. [ light laughter ] thats right President Trump reads four newspapers a day, and he laughs just as hard the fourth time he reads garfield. [ laughter ] publishers have announced that duchess Meghan Markle will guest edit the September Issue of british vogue. And this is cool, Queen Elizabeth will guest edit an issue of high times. [ laughter ] according to reports, the first lady of japan may have pretended not to speak english after she was seated next to President Trump [ laughter ] at an event at the recent g20 summit you could speak english this whole time . Said trump to melania. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause according to a study by the International Nut and dried fruit council, men who eat nuts have better sexual performance so you might want to keep an eye on your girl [ laughter and applause i want to assure you that my writers tried 100 times to write a story about todays nut news [ light laughter ] and that was the winner. [ laughter ] a 97yearold belgian woman claimed in a new interview that her secret to a long life is drinking between 12 and 20 glasses of beer a day, also that shes 35. [ laughter and applause the department of health and Human Services is warning that new toxic chemicals are starting to contaminate cocaine in the united states, which means its to longer safe to do tremendous amounts of cocaine [ laughter ] a texas man proposed to his girlfriend this weekend by leading her on a 15mile bike ride that spelled out the words, marry me. Fortunately, it only took her two miles to answer. [ laughter and applause [ cheers and applause and finally, two weeks ago, a series of Group Chat Messages sent by the governor of puerto rico and his advisers leaked to the press. It contained misogynistic and homophobic comments and a conversation where the group laughed about victims of hurricane maria. After years of political corruption, it was the last straw. So Puerto Ricans took to the streets to demand the governors resignation. One of our writers, jenny hagel, is puerto rican. And shes here to comment. [ cheers and applause thanks, seth. Earlier this month Puerto Ricans obtained evidence that their leader was corrupt and immoral so what did they do . Wait two years for Robert Mueller to write the worlds longest book report . No they took matters into their own hands. They staged a twoweeklong protest demanding that the governor resign. And they made the whole thing look like a giant party. Take a look. [ singing in Foreign Language thats a political protest. That looks more fun than most weddings [ cheers and applause plus, its not every day you get to see someone fight injustice with a cowbell [ laughter ] everyone was out in the streets, young people, old people, even spiderman [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause or as hes known in puerto rico, pedro parker. [ laughter ] protesters played instruments in the streets and people who didnt have instruments banged pots and pans. Watch this woman stand up to a group of Police Officers in riot gear [ banging pot [ laughter ] were over here on the mainland going, the news is so overwhelming, what can i do . And this womans like, do you have a pot [ laughter ] bang it. [ cheers and applause yeah these demonstrations brought out the best in everyone ten years ago, ricky martin was in the closet. Last week, he was in the middle of that protest on top of a truck waving this flag [ cheers and applause its like hes performing in a way more fun revival of les mis. [ laughter ] by the way, its not a coincidence that ricky martin was there. In those leaked text messages, a Government Official made a homophobic joke about him. Imagine insulting a celebrity on a text chain with your friends and then that celebrity comes for you in real life thats terrifying. [ light laughter ] thats like if you said you didnt like the Season Finale of big little lies, and then suddenly meryl streep was outside your window. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause but heres the thing about the demonstrations in puerto rico. They werent just cool they worked. After two weeks, the governor resigned Puerto Ricans got their corrupt leader out of office in two weeks. Weve had 2 1 2 years and we cant get ours off twitter [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause donald trump thinks Puerto Ricans arent americans. Well, last week, they were the best example of americans. They exercised their rights to free speech and free assembly. And they peacefully protest a wrong until they made it right, plus they avenged ricky martin [ laughter ] so lets follow their example. Call your representatives. Volunteer. Canvass. Protest. And if that seems like too much, do you have a pot . Bang it. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause seth seth jenny hagel, everybody. We have a fantastic show for you tonight. Hes the host of last week tonight on hbo. Our friend john oliver is back, everybody. [ cheers and applause a legendary, legendary pitcher for the new york yankees currently in his final season, cc sabathia is joining us. [ cheers and applause and we will have music from mini mansions. Theyre a fantastic band [ cheers and applause im so happy theyre here. Well, before we get to all of our wonderful guests, another weekend, another racist outburst from our racist president. For more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause seth seems impossible now, but there was a time not so long ago when youd go a whole weekend without hearing a word from the president that was when we had a president who actually did stuff obama wasnt tweeting all day, because he was busy reading, Holding Meetings or at the very least, working out i mean, look at that [ cheers and applause on top of being president , he was recording instructional fitness videos [ light laughter ] that one was called obamanate your abs. [ laughter ] i mean, remember you could just do normal stuff without your phone buzzing constantly, because the president said something racist and insane it used to be when you were in the Grocery Store and heard someone say son of a bitch, it was because they were out of paper towels now its because they looked down at their phone and saw the president scream tweet something in all caps like the bust of Abraham Lincoln is spying on me, not nice. [ laughter ] trumps malignant narcissism wont let him go five seconds without being the center of attention. All day every day theres trump on every tv you pass by, sweating, red faced, fighting with reporters, doing that thing where he points at his head to show everyone he knows where his brain is [ laughter and applause the doctors say it looks like a pumpkin the guy left on the stoop for too long. [ laughter and applause [ cheers and applause this is this is our life now. Long, long after he leaves office, his dumb face will be burned into our flat screens even when theyre turned off [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] on top of that, trump spends all day searching for ways to blame or attack enemies, for literally anything no matter what it is. For example, on friday he was asked if he was planning an extended stay at his bedminster resort in new jersey and in his response he found a way to take a truly insane swipe at obama over the airconditioning in the white house. So i go to bedminster which is a beautiful place, but its never a vacation its working mostly. Are you planning a trip to bedminster over an extended period of time i hope not, because i like working. Id rather be right here, but probably over a short period of time a lot of times you go, and they do a lot of work in the white house. For instance, the Obama Administration worked out a brandnew airconditioning system for the west wing and it was so good before they did the system now that they did the system, its freezing or hot in here [ light laughter ] seth well, maybe its hot, because youre president , and this is hell and maybe its freezing, because when you were elected, hell froze over [ cheers and applause trump has been losing his mind in part over the various congressional investigations of his corruption, because hes a fundamentally lawless president. And one of the democrats charged with investigating trump in congress is maryland congressman Elijah Cummings. Hes the chair of the House Oversight committee, so its literally his job to conduct oversight of the administration. For example, cummings has criticized and held hearings on the cruel and inhumane conditions in border detention centers, which even trumps own department of Homeland Security called dangerous in a report released earlier this month. And cummings has also been investigating the use of private accounts to conduct official business by some of trumps closest aides and advisers cummings is doing his job by investigating trump and trying to hold this administration accountable. So naturally, trump responded the only way hes capable of, with a vile, racist tirade President Trump picked another twitter fight with an africanamerican lawmaker, calling representative Elijah Cummings a brutal bully for shouting and screaming at Trump Officials testifying before congress. The border is clean, efficient, and wellrun, just very crowded, mr. Trump tweeted. Before disparaging cummings west Baltimore District as a disgusting rat and rodentinfested mess seth so once again, he attacked a Congress Member of color by using the word, infested, just as he did two weeks ago when he told four democratic congresswomen of color, three of whom were born here and all of whom are americans to go back to the crimeinfested places from which they came. Hey man, the only thing thats infested here is your brain, you know, that one there yeah [ laughter and applause i mean, id ask id ask you to apologize to these lawmakers for your racist tirades, but you cant even say the word, lawmakers. Hes worked in both houses of congress, advising lawmarkers. Seth thats right. [ laughter ] lawmarkers as in, i think trump has been sniffing lawmarkers [ light laughter ] he keeps coming back to this racist trope, because hes a racist its the core of his ideology. On fox news sunday, trumps acting chief of staff Mick Mulvaney tried to defend the tweets, absurdly claiming they had nothing to do with race but host, chris wallace, wasnt having it. There is a clear pattern here, mick the fact is that before his inau that before inauguration, the president tweeted about john lewis, a black congressman, that he this is before his inauguration, he should spend time in his crimeinfested district. Then two weeks ago, he goes after these four members of the squad, all women of color, and says they should go back to the crimeinfested countries from which they come. Then he talks about Elijah Cummings, and he says his district is rat and rodent infested infested it sounds like vermin. It sounds subhuman that there and these are all six members members of congress who are people of color. I think youre spending way too much time reading between the lines. Does anybody im not reading between the lines. Im reading the lines. Does any seth yeah. [ laughter and applause hes just reading the lines. Its obvious its not like you need to play clips of him backwards like a beatles record to hear some sort of secret message admitting hes a racist although, i wonder if we tried it i am not racist [ laughter ] seth the only remedy for a corrupt, racist, president is impeachment. Congress needs to use their constitutional power to tell a coherent story about this president s racism, his corruption and his selfdealing. Congress needs to do their job as lawmarkers. [ laughter ] seth this has been a closer look. Well be right back with john oliver, everybody [ cheers and applause for more of seths closer looks, be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. Confus. Americas most reliable network. The nations largest and most reliable network. The best network is even better . Best, fastest, best. Enough. Sprints doing things differently. Theyre offering a new 100 total satisfaction guarantee. 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Give it up for the 8g band right over there [ cheers and applause also, joining us this week, hes been the driving force behind the drum kit at Blue Man Group for the past 25 years and musical director of blue man chicago at the briar street theater and this is interesting, 23 years after teaching our own fred armisen to play drums for Blue Man Group, hes sitting in for him tonight. Jeff quay is here, everybody [ cheers and applause thank you so much for being here, jeff we really appreciate it. How was was fred a good student . He was a great student. Seth okay. I know youre just saying that but its very kind [ laughter ] our first guest tonight is the host of the emmy and peabody awardwinning show, last week tonight, which airs sunday nights on hbo please welcome back to the show our friend, john oliver, everybody. [ cheers and applause seth i oh. Seth i want to congratulate you. [ cheers and applause um okay. Seth congratulations on a couple of things congratulations on your emmy nomination oh, thank you and you. Seth welldeserved thank you very much. And more importantly, congratulations on Boris Johnson. I know hes an old friend. Oh. Yes. [ laughter ] youre stretching the the term friend to a shattering point there, but yes yes. Britain has done it. Well, i mean not really britain, so much as 100,000 members of the conservative party have decided that hes the best answer the question, how do you un[ bleep ] this situation . [ laughter ] yeah seth youve obviously a lot of people have drawn the parallel between trump and johnson. And yet sure. Seth youve pointed out that the difference is that that boris is only pretending to be dumb yes [ laughter ] yeah its yeah the difference between there are superficial similarities between trump and johnson, obviously. But there is it is very tactical you know, there was you never think that trump is playing chess mentally [ laughter ] or that he knows how to play chess. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] i have no doubt that hes been to the chessboard and moved the pieces and said checkmate [ laughter ] seth yeah. With the kind of confidence that makes you wonder whether he knows the rules better than you do but [ light laughter ] no, no, johnson, like, throughout his whole life has been very, very good at kind of charming his way out of difficult situations and its not going to work this time but there is basically because he has for the first time a problem that where his charm will not apply getting through brexit in 100 days or just getting past, you know, the deadline for the Withdrawal Agreement is going to be incredibly hard so hes its so risky you know, if the election of trump was america shooting itself in the foot, the election of Boris Johnson is kind of britain watching that happen, thinking about the ramifications of it and then shooting themselves in the [ bleep ]. Thats basically [ laughter ] in a nutshell, thats what happened [ applause ] seth isnt it terrifying because i feel like the brexit vote happened. And everybody said, this will be a warning to america before their election. Yes seth and then instead they elected trump. And then you feel like everybody in britain was like thats right. Seth the election of trump will be a warning to us. Yes seth and then everybody keeps doubling down and like its right. Seth youre wrong were in. Yeah. Seth were all in. Its escalating hold my beer situations [ laughter ] everyone pushing the chips and go, no, we can be way more selfdestructive than that. [ laughter ] yeah, it needs to stop being a contest. Seth you pointed out one of the great things about the relationship with the Prime Minister and the queen is they have tea once a week. Well, they do so thats the thing, like, she had to ask him to form a government seth yes there he is. There they are. Seth uhhuh. What a wonderful image that is seth yeah. [ laughter ] at least theyre both uncomfortable. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] but, yeah that is the old, arcane tradition is that he must must go and have tea with her every single week as every Prime Minister must do, whatever is happening in the country. Whether youre having a really difficult, important day, you have to at some point say, i need to go and have tea with the queen now. [ laughter ] so im sure that was kind of an amazing experience for him but at some point, its going to become a chore i dont know how many times how many times meeting the queen it is. Its probably around double figures you think, oh, [ bleep ]. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] like, i am running out of small talk for her. [ laughter ] seth you you had a chance to sort of gladhand with the monarchy a little bit. There was a premiere of the lion king. Yeah. Seth in which you are in. I was in the lion king but i could [ cheers and applause seth yeah. Thats right. Seth thats right. Thats right. Theres a movie star in the building [ light laughter ] [ cheers ] yeah, and its me [ cheers and applause that was the oh, my god seth id like to point out what you just did. John oh, my god, what . Seth you know, they were cheering for you and then you angrily stopped them [ laughter ] to make them cheer for you in the exact same way were already. [ laughter ] i feel like they were they were cheering for a tv personality ive left that behind. Im a movie star now [ laughter ] seth you are a big old movie star my behavior is about to become appalling [ laughter ] no, i couldnt i didnt go i havent seen it yet. Seth yeah. I havent seen lion king. Seth you havent seen it yet. I couldnt go to any of the premieres, because we were working. Seth you lived it. You lived it i lived it. [ laughter ] thats right i really inhabited zazu like daniel daylewis does. [ laughter ] seth yeah, yeah, yeah. So i lived for a while. I glued feathers to myself [ laughter ] it was inconvenient for my family seth i crossed paths with you a few times during your zazu period, and it was not i squawked at you a lot seth you squawked at me a lot. Yeah [ laughter ] you fed me seed out of your hand [ laughter ] but it worked. I think i think it worked seth were you upset that you obviously you were working but there was this yeah. Seth big london premiere you have not is it true then you have not only not seen the film, you have not met beyonce no, i havent i still havent met beyonce. And ive been now in the film with her, and im on the lion king album, which is technically a beyonce album. Ive been on a beyonce album [ laughter ] seth yeah. Yeah, exactly [ applause ] im on that. [ cheers and applause so it feels like, if youve been in a movie with her and on an album with her and you havent met her, its probably for a reason seth yeah. [ laughter ] though it seems like at this point, like, shes aggressively trying not to meet you i think so. I think its her instinct is absolutely accurate. [ laughter ] i think its probably for the best that we seth yeah. We live parallel lives seth right, and imagine myself and beyonce. Seth and imagine meeting with her is probably better well, also id like to point out that you still could at least aspire to meeting her. And i feel like thats true seth for the people who have met her, the rest of your life is sort of exactly seth denouement i think its best that she is my white whale seth yeah. Right [ laughter ] seth its good to have one of those yes, exactly. Its good to chase down the thing that you want your whole life seth you [ laughter ] you did youre on the album you sang in the movie. I well i yeah seth okay. I rhythmically spoke [ laughter ] with slight variations in tone im just not sure that i can linguistically back up the term sing. [ laughter ] but, yeah, i did i linguistically spoke technically, linguistically speaking is rapping. So i rapped. Seth you rapped. I spat bars on that album [ laughter ] seth yeah. Yeah. Seth and then did you were you very comfortable . Was that i would imagine that youre you maybe have to do the singing or the bar spitting more times than the actual lines in the film. Was that the case . Yeah. Actually, no, i just did it. I pretty much just did it once seth yeah. [ light laughter ] and they said seth and did you did you drop the mic when you did it once well, it was attached to a podium so i [ laughter ] i had to push the entire podium over seth gotcha. [ laughter ] yeah. Seth and do you think it read do you think it read to them like you dropped the mic or that you had a tantrum i think it looked like i was really unhappy with my surroundings but [ laughter ] it its too big to pick up, an entire podium and its like, you get the drop mic reference. Bang. [ laughter ] yeah, i did it i did i did seth but you just did it once and they were like, thats good to go. Yeah, ive might have done it a few times. I think once i might be writing checks i cant cash. [ laughter ] i know, i did it a few times, but then they were fine. Yeah seth thats great. I think yeah seth congratulations thanks. Yeah, thanks [ cheers and applause seth i want to because, again, were talking about, this is were getting you at a very good time in your career thats right. Seth we have you here as a tv star and movie star thats right. Seth you did you were like a lot of us you were a standup in the early days i prefer movie star and tv star now [ laughter ] seth understood. But thats fine thats fine. Seth yeah. Ill invert. Yeah. Seth i was yeah i mean, i was building to the bigger one you like to back tv will be there for me to fall back on, but lets hope that doesnt happen. [ laughter ] seth what were your early days of standup i want to play panicky, animated animals for the rest of my life. [ laughter ] seth are you very excited now that youre kinda looking through the disney catalog seeing whats next for the next [ laughter ] thats right. What are you going to remake now . And is there a kind of irritable animal that can tell people where things are because that, if im going to be typecast, thats me. [ laughter ] yeah i did standup before i came here seth and how did it go i mean, not amazing the thing with standup in britain is theres a period of time i mean, its the same here, like, physically theres a period of time before you get to the stage where the audience can see you, but you dont have the ability to start speaking yet and in britain, theyre kind of just sizing up your physical weaknesses [ laughter ] to then use against you so i had round glasses at the time and it was the time that harry potter was a big deal. [ laughter ] so, yeah, i wouldnt be able to get to say my first joke before people go, all right, potter [ laughter ] all right, potter, where is ron . Wheres ron . [ laughter ] and, you know, i said, oh, okay. They go, no, seriously, where is he . Where is he, harry . And so it was kind of the thing that i had to the challenge i had to overcome a lot. And then i got the job here thinking, oh, this is going to be great. I was working for jon stewart at the daily show. So my very first day on the daily show, i was id flown in the previous night. I was exhausted. I did my bit with jon. Panicky. My legs were shaking i turned around and sitting in the front row around where you are was j. K. Rowling [ laughter ] j. K. Rowling and she came around afterwardsd her saying, its my first day in america [ laughter ] is it normal that youre here every night . [ laughter ] and she hugged me, and it was amazing. She was kind of saying, oh, its okay. Its its [ laughter ] and there was nothing i wanted more in that moment than a hug from j. K. Rowling. [ laughter ] and then she leaned back and she held me by the shoulders and said, you look so much like harry. [ laughter ] and that was not true. [ cheers and applause only if only if harry had been held back a few years [ light laughter ] if hogwarts had not gone as well for him academically as he wanted it. [ laughter ] seth and then she is this true she also very seriously asked you, wheres ron . [ laughter ] seriously, where is he . [ laughter ] seth if i dont know exactly seth yeah. Yeah. Seth its trouble. Yeah. Seth you would the last time you were here it was february and we were talking and you were saying its way too early to talk about the democratic primaries. Yeah. Seth and were going live for the debate yeah, have fun with that. Seth on tuesday and wednesday. Thats fun. Seth do you think thats a good idea . No. Seth yeah. You mean, for you physically . [ laughter ] seth yeah, for us to go live no, its a terrible idea. Seth yeah. I mean, i guess therell be things to say. Youll find things to say. Seth well find things to say. But i certainly dont envy the rapid turnaround seth yeah, its a very fast turnaround do you have you found did you get anything of sort of nutritional value out of the first two nights of the debates . Not really. Seth yeah, not really. Not really. It feels like it its all warming up, isnt it seth yeah. It feels like theyre all it feels like a shoot around in a basketball game, right now seth yeah. I feel like its like i said this before, but its like the beginning of a real housewives where its just them turning and saying, like [ laughter ] saying, like, im here to school you on education. Its like, all right. That is true. And in about a few debates time, its, like, going to be an episode of housewives where they go on holiday together and youre like, oh, [ bleep ]. I see a bowl of margarita mix. This is about to go down. [ laughter and applause seth well, it will be worth it to go live after that one yeah, yea, yeah seth hey, thanks for being here its always such a pleasure to see you. John oliver, everybody [ cheers and applause last week tonight airs sunday nights on hbo. And lion king is in theaters amazing stuff seth hes a movie star the lion king is in movie theaters and im in it [ cheers and applause choosing my Car Insurance was the easiest decision ever. I switched to geico and saved hundreds. Thats a win. But its not the only reason i switched. Geicos a company i can trust, with over 75 years of great savings and service. Now thats a winwin. Switch to geico. Its a winwin. We all care about amazing taste. Thats why weve been making the best mayonnaise for over 100 years. Best foods. Were on the side of food. You want a freshsmelling home, me air fresheners use heavy, overwhelming scents. 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[ cheers and applause seth our next guest is a sixtime mlb allstar, cy Young Award Winning pitcher, and world series champion who is currently playing in his final season for the new york yankees please welcome to the show, one of the best, cc sabathia, everyone [ cheers and applause seth thank you so much for being here no problem. Thanks for having me seth so good news, yankees are in first place bad news, youre on the injured list right now yeah, yeah. Seth hopefully not for too long yeah, hopefully not seth and you announced in february this is your last season are you finding that you have time to reflect back on it are you enjoying that part of knowing this is the last go . I am enjoying that. But its hard to reflect, just because were trying to win. Like, you know, every game is important. Seth yeah. You know . Were trying to win every game so its hard to kind of, like, sit back and reflect, when youre trying to go out and win a championship so its good seth and i assume you dont sit in the locker room, like, constantly telling guys, you know, this is it for me fellas. [ laughter ] theyve constantly remind me, like what are you going to be doing next year . You going to be doing this you going to be doing that so, i constantly get reminders from my teammates. Seth you also, 3,000 strikeouts, 250 wins, only the 14th player in history to do that and i you know, i think 250 [ cheers and applause absolutely 250 is kind of the new 300 i dont know if well see any 300 game winners anymore thats a big number. Yeah, i dont think there will be any 300 game winners, just because of the way the games going, and the way bullpens are built up. You know, starters only go five, six innings now. Seth yeah. Not going deep into the game, you know, getting the win, so. Seth you were at the allstar game with your teammates. Yes seth it was in cleveland where you started your career, and they let you go out and make a mound visit. Yeah. It was so awkward. [ laughter ] seth i will say, based on the ive never seen a manager leave a mound visit that happy [ laughter ] ive never seen a manager i didnt know what to say i got out there, it was super awkward. I was just, chappie, you good . He was like, yeah, im good like, beat it. [ laughter ] seth you brought your kids to the homerun derby yeah. Seth that must have been fun. Yeah. [ audience aws ] yeah, three of the four of them were born in cleveland so they think cleveland is their home so to get a chance to go back for the homerun derby, be there for the allstar game was really, really fun seth and you were incredibly well received in cleveland obviously, thats where you started your career. That must have been a nice feeling as well. It was. You know, i feel like i grew up there. I got drafted by them when i was 17yearsold, and didnt get traded until i was 27. Like i said, three out of four of my kids were born there so, i have a lot of history in cleveland. And you know, i feel like this is my second home. Seth do you remember your first strikeout in cleveland i do. Mike kinkade seth okay, mike kinkade. Do you think that hurts his feelings that you remember him by name . No. [ laughter ] but i played against him so much in the minor leagues, that i it was against the orioles so i kind of wanted it to be, like, cal ripken or somebody it was like mike kinkade, who i struck out a bunch of times in the minor leagues, so it wasnt really cool. [ laughter ] seth yeah. How do you think how he felt when he was like, cc got to face this guy again . [ laughter ] seth you know, you obviously youve been with new york now for what is it, ten years . 11 years. Seth 11 years now. Yeah. Seth i guess a little bit less with the indians. So, when you think about things, obviously you dont want to get ahead of yourselves, but you have hall of fame numbers. Have you thought about what cap you want to go into the hall of fame wearing wow, thats the first time i got that question. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] i think being here now for 11 years, and winning the world series here, i think it will be a yankee hat seth i know no ones going to talk about it, but, you know, were coming up [ cheers and applause yeah when we do shows in cleveland, you can come on and give a different answer [ light laughter ] no one will talk about it, but you know, were coming up on the trade deadline, this is obviously time where people try to find that last piece for a playoff team you had a very brief stint in milwaukee, which is really one of the great runs, sort of, if you want to call it a rental you were like 112 with a crazy sub2 era in your time in milwaukee. Was that an exciting time to just . You know, obviously it was a short visit, but you were everything they could have asked for. It was. It was a great time. Just because i had, you know, been in a place in cleveland where we didnt have a we werent having a great year we were in last place, and i show up to milwaukee, and youre right in the playoff race. So, i was healthy, i was young and i was you know, felt good, and i was kind of in a groove so, i wanted to pitch as much as possible they were like, hey, you want to pitch on three days rest . I was like, yeah, sure, lets do it. So, just kept going out, try to get us in the playoffs and we hadnt been to the playoffs in 26 years, and made it that year it was a fun celebration seth that thing about when youre younger and youre willing that, like, you pitching on three days rest, the way i used to feel in my 30s, about like going out on backtoback nights yeah. [ laughter ] now i couldnt do it seth yeah, exactly i used to go out friday, and then again on saturday [ laughter ] you there was a star wars night on may the 4th yeah. Seth and you took it to the next level you went full yoda i went full yoda. [ laughter ] seth like, really did not go cheap at all [ cheers and applause no, im a huge star wars fan. Seth youre a huge alright. Huge star wars fan. Seth there you go. Theres another photo there that [ laughter ] its covering your mouth i wouldnt be surprised if she was terrified in that photo. Right, yeah [ laughter ] seth you also got, which was a cool thing to do in your last season, you got to go over and play in a series in london with a very highscoring games yeah. Seth the Exchange Rate is i guess their baseball stadiums are smaller. [ light laughter ] how was that, though how was it playing in front of a different country . It was so much fun. And being im a huge soccer fan. So being able to play in west ham stadium there in london was super cool 70,000 people every both games. The first game was a fivehour game so, im thinking, these people are not going to show up and they showed up again for the next game, and the energy level was just incredible. And you know, obviously, playing the red sox is always going to be a lot of fun, so. Seth thats great. It was cool seth do you have a team . Are you a soccer fan of any specific team . Manchester united Seth Manchester united well, well selected. Yeah. [ cheers and applause seth you i want to ask about your your pitch in Foundation Yes seth how many years have you had this 11 years. Seth 11 years. So, this is one you figured out in new york. Yeah, me and my wife started it in 2009 with the help of my mom, and you know, wanted to help kids in the inner cities through sports and education we do backpack giveaways in new york and in california we do field renovations, baseball camps so, were just trying to help out, and do whatever we can in inner cities seth and you have thats wonderful. [ cheers and applause you have a legacy gala yeah. Seth this year so this is, you know, obviously, its september so it will be near the end of things hopefully, its weird for me to say hopefully, but i like you. Im a red sox fan, but ill say it, anyway its so weird. You got a championship last year though, so let us get one, right . Seth oh yeah, things have been great for us. Right [ laughter ] [ cheers ] no complaining seth no, im not complaining. I moved to new york in 2001. And it was the worst thing in the world to be a red sox fan here and its just been wonderful its been great [ cheers ] seth yeah, i mean i know this isnt the right time to say it, you should really try it [ laughter ] maybe next year if youre unaffiliated but, you know, so hopefully youre playing, but youre going to have this, your sort of gala in september and that must be a big deal. It must be nice to sort of look back over the year, and everything youve done with your foundation yeah, should be a lot of fun. September 16th, big legacy gala. You know, my wife is doing a lot of work to put this thing on im just excited to get everybody there, and kind of celebrate the foundation, and you know the retirement too. So it should be fun. Seth thats great. And do you manage to get most of your teammates to show up to that yeah, my teammates do a good they do, i mean, they do a job of supporting. They came out, we had a softball game may 16th up at the stadium. They came out, supported, and had a lot of fun, and the fans showed up. So it was good seth all right well, thats great hey, thanks for everything you do its really just been such a joy to watch you pitch over your career congratulations on all of it thank you seth thanks so much. Cc sabathia, everybody [ cheers and applause well be right back with music from mini mansions [ cheers and applause dont stop, i cant feel the heat yet dont let it catch you whoa i cant feel the heat so josh, you going our drive safe and save discount . Yup, using the app. Driving safe. Heh. You wanna go . Wanna go bro . Hey, uh, do not mess with my discount. Woooo you could save up to 30 . Lets go nice to meet you, go get em tiger woooo sounds like youve got this . Yeah. Definitely. Get a discount up to 30 with drive safe and save™ from state farm. New magnum ice cream. Double sea salt caramel. Carefully made to be broken. Magnum ice cream. Wait, you started your second before you finished your first . 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[ cheers and applause seth performing bad things that make you feel good, give it up for mini mansions, everyone [ cheers and applause meet me down by the neon light dont leave me in the dark i met a girl with a burning hear you know she lit a spark if my hearts not jumpin i ain going home if my toe aint tappin i ain going alone you cant deny it ooh you cant deny it i feel the fire and its burning little holes in my life i see the futur but it never had a chil or wife i taste the bitters and i wanna add some sugar to taste i smelled the roses i could us a little punch in the face i hear the musi and it makes me want to get up and shake jumped in the fir just to see ho much more could take i think i might just be misunderstoo i wanna do all the bad things that make you feel good i aint the man that i knew at all but ill giv you all i got and if its difficult to wal the line well reconnect the dots if my eye aint open i dont feel the shame when my heart stops beatin were going down in flames we lit the fire ooh we lit the fire i feel the fire and its burning little holes in my life i see the futur but it never had a chil or wife i taste the bitters and i wanna add some sugar to taste i smelled the roses i could us a little punch in the face i hear the musi and it makes me want to get up and shake jumped in the fir just to see ho much more could take i think i might just be misunderstoo i wanna do all the bad things that make you feel good if you wanna keep me up all nigh its alright its alright if you wanna keep me up up all night its alright its alright if youre los its alright its alright if youre lost its alrigh youre alright i feel the fire and its burning little holes in my life i see the futur but it never had a chil or wife i taste the bitters and i wanna add some sugar to taste i smelled the roses i could us a little punch in the face i hear the musi and it makes me want to get up and shake jumped in the fir just to see ho much more could take i think i might just be misunderstoo i wanna do all the bad things that make you feel good [ cheers and applause seth mini mansions, everyone the album, guy walks into a bar, is out now well be right back. [ cheers and applause seventh generation gets the ingredients in their laundry detergent from plants, not petroleum. And this stuff beets stains. Its kind of a big dill. It squashes sixty of your toughest stains. Seventh generation. Powered by plants tlets go mets go time daddy [ giggling ] ohhhh man. Took my hat off. [ to love somebody by bee gees playing ] thats crazy [ crowd cheering ] [ screaming ] lets go mets [ cheering ] this is you shopping. And this is you maximizing at t. J. Maxx. Get more of the brands you love and quality you want, and save every time. Its not shopping, its maximizing. Maxx life at t. J. Maxx. And this is me now i got liberty mutual. They customized my Car Insurance, so i only pay for what i need. Then i won the lottery, t hairlugs, and started working out. And so can you only pay for what you need. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. [baby cooing on baby monitor] psst. Its too late for me. Its 8 pm on a saturday. We gotta go, the guys are waiting. Come on. Here. Old spice. Shhhh. Wait. Bring back potato skins. Announcer tuesday and wednesday, late night is live with special editions of a closer look. Plus, wanda sykes, jose antionio vargas, chris hayes, and Charlamagne Tha God stop by. Head over to itunes to subscribe to the late night with seth meyers podcast youll get a closer look and more downloaded right to your phone. We are here to discuss jessies online time. And out of respect, we will let you make the first offer. Thirty minutes. Thirty minutes . Objection overruled. One hour. Sweeten the deal by doing the dishes and ill consider it. I wouldnt do it. I hate the dishes. One hour with the tablet, you walk the dog and do the dishes. If you insist. Congratulations. Only xfinity xfi lets you take control of your familys online time. Thats simple, easy, awesome. Xfinity xfi gives you the speed, coverage and control you need. Manage your wifi network from anywhere when you download the xfi app today. [ cheers and applause seth my thanks to john oliver, cc sabathia, mini mansions, everyone [ cheers and applause jeff quay, 8g band stay tuned for carson daly. Well see you tomorrow [ cheers and applause carson hey, whats up everybody . Im carson daly. Coming to you from phd terrace at dream midto