comparemela.com

Adding, honestly, i thought he was already in jail. [ lahter ] at a Campaign Rally in florida last night, President Trump predicted that news outlets will be out of business once he leaves office. Why, are you going to run them [ laughter ] secretary of state mike pompeo has canceled a trip to greenland to return to washington to deal with tensions with iran. Iran i didnt even know we were in tensions with iran all i knew was we were in the middle of a constitutional crisis, a trade war with china is wreaking havoc on the stock market, north korea is launching missiles and all cable news is talking about is the freakin royal baby [ laughter ] iran [ cheers and applause get in line. Pope francis has announced new rules designed to change how the Catholic Church deals with abuse accusations. And not 2,000 years too soon [ laughter ] [ applause ] former Trump Campaign chairman Paul Manafort was disbarred in washington, d. C. , today. Meanwhile dis barr somehow still gets to be a lawyer. [ laughter and applause wheel of fortune will air its 7,000th episode tomorrow its been on the air so long, this was their first puzzle. [ laughter ] ahead of the Boston Red Sox championship visit with President Trump today, the white house misspelled the word sox in an announcement detailing the teams arrival even worse, this is how they spelled it [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause a man in idaho recently broke a Guinness World record after putting 100 lit candles into his mouth at the same time on the downside, he completely ruined grandpas birthday. [ laughter ] today was billy joels 70th birthday so congrats to the original avenger, piano man pcpc thats right. Today was billy joels 70th birthday his party will be at 9 00 on a saturday [ light laughter ] this is the face of a man who regrets that theres a third joke about billy joels birthday [ laughter ] is it going to work . Is he going to win them back or are they going to keep going worse . [ laughter ] thats right today was billy joels 70th birthday, which means hes finally old enough to be movin out. [ laughter ] [ applause ] ah, sympathy [ light laughter ] and finally mothers day is this sunday while many of us celebrate by buying sentimental cards for the mothers in our life, it seems hallmark is looking to cash in on a new type of mother. Take a look. This mothers day we here at hallmark understand that many Millennial Women are choosing not to become mothers, unless its to a dog. And we think that should be celebrated, too. Introducing dog mothers day cards from hallmark. Cards you buy for yourself from your dog on mothers day [ laughter ] thanks to zero support for working mothers in this country, having a human baby is financially impossible for me. But i do take care of my little fur baby and i think that counts for something. I didnt have kids because i wanted to focus on my career but now i spend four hours a day running this little dudes instagram. [ laughter ] so yeah, a card would be nice. Whatever your reason for not having kids, its none of our business we just care about getting your business just pick from one of our many personalized dog mother cards. Choose from categories like dog mother, funny dog mother, dog mother from daughter, dog mother from son, dog mother from everyone, dog mother from both of us, religious dog mother, dog mother sympathy and dog mother blank inside sign your dogs name with your nondominant hand so it looks like the dog wrote it. [ laughter ] and hey, maybe even draw a little paw print [ light laughter ] finally, give it to yourself in front of your dog. Dont forget to act surprised. Winston, you shouldnt have oh, i love you furever, too so funny you take after your mom. [ laughter ] dog mothers day cards from Hallmark Cards you buy for yourself from your dog on mothers day and coming soon, cards for dog aunts. [ light laughter ] i love my sisters dog. But to actually own a dog . In this economy . [ laughter ] no [ cheers and applause seth we got a great show for you guys tonight she is starring in and making her directorial debut with wine country, which is in select theaters now and available to stream beginning friday on netflix. Amy poehler is here, everybody [ cheers and applause the one, the only. And we have a surplus of legends for you tonight. Because our other guest is a worldrenowned psychosexual therapist and the subject the new documentary, ask dr. Ruth, which is in select theaters now and available on hulu beginning june 1st dr. Ruth westheimer is here. [ cheers and applause so my goodness, my goodness, you are here on a good one before we get to our guests, the president is lying about the Mueller Report as his son don, jr. Is facing a congressional subpoena for more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause seth last night, President Trump held a rally in florida where he once again lied about special counsel Robert Muellers report, which established that Trumps Campaign had links to russia and benefited from russian interference in the election, and that trump repeatedly tried to obstruct the investigation. Remember i mean every time we talk about this story, i have to restate those basic facts, facts that would, in a sane world, dominate the Political Landscape for months if not years. Because everyone keeps forgetting them. And im not blaming anyone its just too much keeps happening. While we were talking about the Mueller Report, we found out that trump lost over a billion dollars in 10 years. This [ bleep ] is distracting. [ laughter ] its like going to book club where everyone read a different book, they all talk at the same time, and instead of rose, people do uncut cocaine while skrillex plays [ laughter ] we cant focus [ applause ] but the report was incredibly damning for trump. For one thing for one thing, the report was 448 pages if you went to a parentteacher conference and the teacher said, let me get your sons file, and it was 448 pages, that kids going to military school [ laughter ] but trumps been lying about it, and he did so again last night when he claimed the report exonerated him and he also claimed that if he had investigated anyone in the crowd for two years, he could have found crimes in their backgrounds, too did you see what just happened, by the way no collusion [ cheers and applause no obstruction, no anything. Two years on a witch hunt. I could have gotten anybody in this audience, i could have found something on you seth wow, that is an interesting new political strategy [ laughter ] accusing your own supporters of being criminals. He should start calling people out like an insult comic check out that lady you telling me youve never passed a bad check look at her. [ laughter ] big old fraud face. For obvious reasons, trump wants to move on from the Mueller Report as quickly as possible, which is why hes waging a war on congress to stop them from reading the full unredacted report and all the underlying evidence trump is also refusing to hand over documents and telling former aides to defy subpoenas he is fundamentally lawless, which is not surprising, because the guy has spent his whole life getting away with stuff. If you left work every friday early to go golfing with kid rock, your boss would be like, youre fired. And also, kid rock plays golf . [ laughter ] seems like a bowling guy in fact, at his rally last night, trump referenced a tweet he had retweeted suggesting that he should get two more years added on to his presidency, and in the process of attacking the media, doubled down on the joke. They are a bunch of fakers. Theres no question about it but you know, in six years, they are all going to be out of business, folks. [ cheers and applause they are all going to be out of business now, if we want to drive them crazy, ill say in 10 years, theyll go crazy see, he is a despot. He is a despot well, 10 or 14 lets see. Whatever we like, right . Watch. There will be headlines tomorrow donald trump wants to break constitution. Seth you dont get credit for predicting headlines that you created. [ laughter ] you cant rob a liquor store and then say, watch the media tomorrow will say, oh, he robbed a liquor store [ laughter ] he had a gun he was waving it around. [ applause ] the Mueller Report it just came out three weeks ago and trump already wants to cover it up and move on in fact, trump is now citing executive privilege to block the release of the full, unredacted report and all the underlying evidence and yet, he also keeps claiming that the report he doesnt want anyone to see exonerates him and he did it again during an event at the white house this afternoon. The report comes back, its perfect. Its beautiful theres no collusion nobody even talks about collusion. Do you know i havent heard the word russia in a long time theres no more talk about russia what happened to russia . The russian witch hunt they dont talk about it because it was so on collusion, which, by the way, is by far thats the big deal. cause it was all about russia so i havent heard the word russia. They dont use the word russia anymore. Seth just because you dont hear the word russia, doesnt mean no one else uses it for one thing, all you watch is fox news where im pretty sure they pretend russia doesnt even exist. When they show a map of europe and asia, they replace russia with a graphic that says, what about hillarys emails . [ laughter ] and yet no matter [ applause ] no matter how much trump would like to move on, the investigation is very much not over in fact, we just found out yesterday that the Senate Intelligence committee, whose chairman is a republican, had subpoenaed donald trump, jr. To come back in and testify again about some of the details in the Mueller Report and speaking to reporters today, trump made clear he was not happy about that i was very surprised to see my son my son is a very good person, works very hard. The last thing he needs is washington, d. C. I think hed rather not ever be involved i remember he said to me a long time ago when i was thinking about running, dad, if i can help, let me know. Its not my expertise. Seth heres my question. What is his expertise . [ light laughter ] because its definitely not business, politics, speaking, spelling, writing or standing. I mean, look at this [ laughter ] why [ applause ] why does this whole family stand like a bunch of weirdos . Don, jr. Looks likes hes recording you with a secret mic strapped to his chest. [ laughter ] could you say that a little louder and closer to my nipples [ laughter ] so the meeting did take place . [ laughter ] so trump and his son are both mad about the subpoena in fact, cnn reported that one option trump, jr. Is considering in response to the subpoena is to invoke his fifth amendment rights and another is just not to appear at all and if that happens, one democratic senator said they should enforce the subpoena by any means necessary. If donald trump, jr. Defies the subpoena, he ought to be jailed seth wow, i do not think don, jr. Would fare well in jail i mean for one thing, can you imagine his hair with only prison shampoo [ laughter ] so we just got the Mueller Report three weeks ago and were still waiting for the full unredacted version as well as all the underlying evidence now is when the congressional response should start, not stop. And yet, republicans want to declare the whole thing over and move on as quickly as possible Robert Muellers witch hunt found nothing. And they were trying mueller is done. Its over. Its not even worth talking about anymore. Im done with it im not going to do anymore enough already its over. The special counsels finding is clear case closed. Case closed. [ laughter ] seth its really funny when the least interesting man in the world takes that long a dramatic pause. [ laughter ] he sounds like a ghost drifting away in a graveyard. Hi ho. [ laughter ] mcconnell also said in his speech that he wanted to finally end discussion of the russia investigation once and for all thats what i want to discuss this morning russias interference in american elections, the work of the special counsel and the attorney general, and how we can finally end this groundhog day spectacle. Seth this isnt groundhog day. Every week we find out something new. If anything, we have too much information. Following the latest developments in the russia investigation is like trying to piece together the plot lines of the last 20 marvel movies. Okay, so that guy told that guy to fire that guy but he said no and told that other guy he was going to quit so he wouldnt go to jail, like that other guy who shared polling data with that guy or that one lawyer who was lying about that other lawyers deal with that other guy. And despite all this, youre telling me paul rudd hasnt aged a day this whole time . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause the evidence is plain as day its right in front of us. In fact, this week hundreds of former prosecutors signed a letter saying trump would have been indicted if he werent the president. The letter is a nuanced, indepth legal argument, but it can basically be summed up in two words case closed case closed. [ laughter ] seth this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause well be right back with amy poehler, everybody [ cheers and applause announcer for more of seths closer looks, be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. Security for the little ones inside. Possibly the inspiration behind hanes comfort flex fit with a breathable pouch. That. And probably this. Hanes comfort flex fit. Milk, fresh cream and only sustainably farmed vanilla. Its made with fresh cream, sugar and milk. Breyers the good vanilla. We proudly partner with American Farmers for grade a milk and cream. Mmm what shes zip lining with little jon . Its lil jon. Even he knows that. Thanks, captain obvious. Dont hatelike their trip, book yours with hotels. Com and get rewarded basically everywhere. Hotels. Com. Be there. Do that. Get rewarded. Come on. Come on. Come on. buzzer sounds to keep your sandwich freaky fresh®, jimmy johns only delivers within 5 minutes of the store. No and not farther. Its nothing personal. Its because sandwich. Howl whimper yap yap yap yip licking, scratching, scooting, and rubbing. May be signs of allergic itch, a medical condition that may require fastacting, prescription apoquel. Apoquel has helped over 6 million itchy dogs get the relief they deserve. Apoquel goes right to the source of itch to provide relief in as little as four hours woof because nothing should come between you and your furry friend. Especially not allergic itch apoquel is for the control of itch associated with allergic dermatitis and the control of Atopic Dermatitis in dogs. Do not use apoquel in dogs less than 12 months old or those with serious infections. Apoquel may increase the chance of developing serious infections and may cause existing parasitic skin infestations or preexisting cancers to worsen. Do not use in breeding, pregnant or lactating dogs. Most common side effects are vomiting and diarrhea. Dont wait. Ask your veterinarian about apoquel today. Apoquel. Its fast itch relief. Paws down. Bark [ cheers and applause seth welcome back, everybody. Give it up for 8g band right over there [ cheers and applause and all week long weve had a Founding Member of legendary band fishbone with us, who are about to launch a summer tour with George Clinton and parliamentfunkadelic. For more information, follow him on instagram phdfish and his website phildfish. Com. On drums, phillip fish fisher, everybody. [ cheers and applause thank you for a great week wonderful having you here. Our first guest tonight is an emmywinning comedian and actress you know from the hit comedy parks and recreation, and such films as mean girls and sisters, as well as her work on saturday night live. She directed and stars in the wonderful new film wine country, which is in select theaters and streaming on netflix tomorrow please welcome back to the show, one of the best, our very good friend amy poehler, everybody. [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause seth welcome back, old friend hi, honey seth hi. It is it is so lovely to be here have you here. To be here with you. Yes seth yeah. [ light laughter ] im so excited. I love fishbone. Seth there you go. [ cheers and applause we try to make it we try to make it as nice for you as possible thank you so much for tending to my musical needs. Seth so you flew into town how was your flight into new york it was good, but have you guys seen this movie i wanted to talk to you about. This has nothing to do with what im promoting. Seth okay, gotcha. Have you seen this movie free solo . Seth i havent seen it [ cheers ] yet, i know what its about. Yeah what not a fan . Of climbing things without any ropes . No [ light laughter ] it should be called white nonsense, this movie. [ laughter ] seth okay, gotcha. I was i was watching the whole time i kept being like, he must have to do it for some reason. Like, if he if he free solos this, somebody lives [ laughter ] and it was seth or theres something at the top he needs or, he needs it seth like the like the antidote yeah, like right. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] the cure for something. And instead its just like its something he wants to do. Like he has to do it [ laughter ] i was like, what . And i was like i wish they just interviewed an expert that was like, oh we just checked facts and figures, and he doesnt have to do it. [ laughter ] and then, everybody should go home he doesnt have to do it i mean, it is on the plane i was just watching going, ugh [ laughter ] oh what seth cause i feel like a lot of people have been inspired by this film free solo. Okay, its the same people that do marathons. Seth yeah. Which [ laughter ] seth okay. Which, i know you did a marathon seth i did run a marathon. Yeah and we all know because you told us. [ laughter ] cause everyone whos am i right . [ applause ] seth no. Everybody everybody whos running a marathon talks about like, im training for the marathon. Seth yeah. Like, the marathons almost here. Seth yeah. Like, come watch me run the marathon. [ light laughter ] and its like, you dont have to run it. [ light laughter ] nobodys making you. Youre not being chased. [ light laughter ] seth did you were you nervous . Did it make you anxious watching free solo or were you just frustrated no, cause it was like its like, people that join cults. Im like, well, whatever, dude. [ laughter ] like i mean, like it was like everyone was like, oh i mean, at the end of the day, its just something he has to do. And i was like, no, it isnt. [ laughter ] i kept yelling, no, it isnt. Seth you must have been nice to sit next to on that flight. Yeah. Seth yeah. It wasnt great seth i went i know you were looking forward to hearing what the royal babys name is gonna be yes seth and then its archie. Its archie, which is great seth and you have an archie. I have an archie. [ audience aws ] i know seth were you happy about the overlap . I mean, i [ laughter ] i am. I am i have to say, were so hungry for good news. Seth yeah. Like, just a baby being born and then knowing its name. Everyones like, huddled by the tv seth yeah. [ light laughter ] like, a baby was born and they named it. [ laughter ] so, i think they look like a real cute couple seth they do look like a cute couple. I i love that name seth are you worried that theres now gonna be like a wave of archies i am a little bit worried seth yeah. Im a little bit worried. Seth cause its a pretty cool name you picked isnt it . Seth that, kind of, was a little obscure now might be a little mainstream yeah, yeah. Thanks, seth yup. [ laughter ] seth you could you know what you could do now as a burn . You could name him you can start calling yours archie i oh [ audience oohs seth yeah. Which might even bump him up in the line of succession yeah. [ laughter ] seth you could be you could be the first archie. I do i did like that little cute i mean, i love william and harry. I mean seth yeah. Arent my gen we love our william and harry. Seth yeah, yeah. Right seth yeah. Like, we loved, like watching them grow up, and there so cute and you youre the seth yup, im one of two two brothers seth exactly i have two sons you want them to be like william and harry. Seth absolutely, 100 . [ light laughter ] you just want them to be friends but also different seth yeah. And one of them is in some kind of royal air force. [ laughter ] seth you you kind of have a william and harry situation. I do. Seth your younger ones a little a little red head. I have a ginger seth yeah. Yeah. Yeah seth so its a real crossover. Yeah, so now that you say it, i really feel like theyre copying me [ laughter ] like, get off my job, man. Seth yeah. Yeah. Seth i think they legally can cause theyre in england. Yeah. Seth i dont think they could do what theyre doing here if they were here. No. Seth youd be able to sue them my lawyers would be on them [ laughter ] and i dont have the english lawyers that can handle that seth theyre very yeah. I think, barristers. Oh, yeah. Seth yeah. Wear wigs seth yeah. That was a thing oh, my god. Seth you refuse to work with any man in a wig never ive never worked with a man in a wig. Seth yeah. Yeah. Seth i remember that at snl. Its very problematic. It caused a lot of problems at snl. Yeah seth cause there were sketches, you would just i will not do this this is silly. Wigs are for ladies. [ laughter ] im gonna use this as my transition to wine country. Okay. Seth i went to wine country last night. Yeah. Seth i went to the screening. We partied a little bit last night. Seth yeah. We went to the premiere i mean, you went home early cause you had a job to do, tonight. Seth yeah, but you and not just you guys and the cast but like, all your parents stayed out really late yeah. Seth thats really sweet we really we really we kind of blew the roof off. In fact, we had one of those moments where it was like, no they like, turned the music off. We were like, one more song [ laughter ] and they were like, no. [ laughter ] like, this is a hotel. [ lauger ] seth this is a story wine country. You directed it. Youre one of the stars in it, and is a story of six women going to napa for a birthday party. Yeah. Seth and it is a the six the core six, which are you, ana gasteyer, maya rudolph, paula pell, emily spivey, and Rachel Dratch seth Rachel Dratch and then also, tina feys in the film yes seth and it is yes [ cheers and applause seth there are so many funny moments and there are so many emotional moments. I found myself getting very choked up during even the funny moments. But you love to cry seth i do love to cry. [ laughter ] i love to cry. And i love to cry when im happy. Me, too me, too. Seth and i was im not im just saying, the moments where you guys were being yourselves cause everybody is kind of playing a version thats right. Seth yeah. Theres not a lot of acting in there [ laughter ] i mean, its not a documentary seth but i was getting choked up thinking of how lucky i was to have spent that much time with these incredibly talented people. And it is inspired by an actual trip, yeah yeah, we took dratch to wine country for her 50th and then we went to anas for anas birthday, we went to palm spring and we kind of smashed some of those trips together and then, you know, used creative license to write other things that didnt happen. [ light laughter ] seth i remember one of my favorite stories is you on the flight to the first one you lost your phone on the plane okay. So, i like to plan things, and i think im good at it and so i had basically the entire Trips Itinerary on my phone. And then i went in and do you guys when you use when you put your phone in your back pocket and sometimes you go to the bathroom on the airplane and you pull your pants down, you know sometimes yes, right [ laughter ] youre like, did i did i and so, i flushed the toilet and i was washing my hands, cause i wash my hands. [ laughter ] and i was like i looked for my phone, and i was like, oh, my god i flushed my phone down the toilet. And i came out and this is when i screw up, i get really mad seth yeah. And so im like, i flushed my phone down the toilet. [ laughter ] and everyone was like, what . And i was like, i flushed my phone down the toilet, and the trip is ruined and all of the plans are ruined. And i just sat there and just like huffed and puffed and i was like, and everything is ruined and its not gonna be a good time. [ laughter ] and everyones like, whats happening . And everybody acted exactly how you would think they would act maya rudolph, the earth mother, like, bighearted, was like, get me some gloves. Im gonna look in that toilet. [ laughter and applause ana gasteyer, level headed, was like, you know, maybe its in your bag. [ laughter ] and i was like, no. Its down the toilet. [ laughter ] paula pell, forever supportive, was like, i need a new phone, too. [ laughter ] so when we land, well both go buy new phones. [ laughter ] and then emily spivey, who is the most hilarious in times of crisis, was just looking out the window drinking her wine going, yall, this is my worst nightmare. [ laughter ] if my phone went in the toilet, yall, i would die. And then it was in my bag. [ laughter and applause it was in my bag thats kind of us in a nutshell. Seth i have a lot more to ask you. Well be right back with more from amy poehler after this. [ cheers and applause well take great care of him we get it you got it oh thank you were petsmart thank you were hugging who used expedia to book the Vacation Rental that led to the ride which took them to the place where they discovered that sometimes a little down time can lift you right up. Flights, hotels, cars, activities, Vacation Rentals. Expedia. Everything you need to go. [sfx bottle opening] [sfx roller coaster sounds] [sfx bottle opening] ahhhh [sfx crowd cheering] [sfx bottle opening] ahhhh but we were made to move. So move more live more degree motionsense made to move. Whos already won three cars, two motorcycles, a boat, and an r. V. I would not want to pay that insurance bill. [ ding ] oh, i have progressive, so i just bundled everything with my home insurance. Saved me a ton of money. Love you, gary you dont have to buzz in. Its not a question, gary. On march 1, 1810 [ ding ] frederic chopin. Collapsing in 226 [ ding ] the colossus of rhodes. [ sighs ] Louise Dustmann [ ding ] brahms lullaby, or wiegenlied. When will it end . [ ding ] not today, ron. Oooooooooo. Ill show you something neeeeeewwww. Im gonna make you moooooove. Ill show you something, ill show you something. Neeeeeewwww. Ill show you something, ill show you something. Wherever you are. Whatever youre craving. And whenever youre craving it. Doordash has the restaurants you want. Delivered to your door. Wherever your door happens to be. Download doordash. The most restaurants across america. First order, 0 delivery fee. So we take a really small amount of mdma and it apparently, it can create this common experience thats like super bonding. Maybe this isnt that kind of trip you know what i mean like, you know, we have a big day tomorrow and this is a marathon its not a sprint. Mmhmm. I thought it was a birthday weekend. Well oh, okay. If its totally its rebeccas birthday anyway, you should download the podcast. Its super interesting its this amazing t. E. D. Talk actually it sounds amazing i mean, i would do the podcast. Id love to listen to the podcast. I did molly in college, but she went back to her boyfriend heyyo. [ laughter and applause seth were here with amy poehler. That was a clip from wine country. This was your directorial debut. Yes seth youre on the cover of hollywood reporter. This is an excellent thank you seth photo of you thank you [ cheers and applause seth excellent i think its excellent cause it doesnt look like me. [ laughter ] seth it is but thats kind of the dream in a photo it is the dream is for somebody to be like, who is that french seth yeah. Woman . And youre like, it was me. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] whereas i believe i still believe it was a great honor we were on the cover of entertainment weekly. And i think its that case, if its definitely both us and we both looked terrible [ light laughter ] yeah seth just bad. We just dont seth yeah. [ laughter and applause just bad just bad. Look whats happening here seth i know. Its you know what it is . Its like we its like we werent available so they went to madam tussauds yes [ laughter ] those are the kind of people that show up at home, and theyre like, im home, honey. And its like, you seem weird. [ laughter ] and youre like, no, im not weird. Im your husband lets go to the bed we sleep in and make love. And youre like, this is somethings off, but ill go with it. Seth nothing is off weve been married for 11 years and 5 days. [ laughter ] this because again, its inspired and everyone is playing themselves there are a couple of other things dratchs character throws out her back yeah, yeah, yeah. Seth and that, of course, reminded me dratch once this is something thats never happened at snl, except for this she threw out her back in the middle of read through yeah rachel and this we based the scene in the movie off of this real thing, which is you know, when you get to a certain age, you just hurt your back just like going like this seth yeah. [ laughter ] you dont have to do anything and so, i think she just turned to talk to someone and she was like, oy [ laughter ] and her back went out and she couldnt move. And so she did the read through lying on the floor seth yeah. [ light laughter ] with about 100 people in the room and she was killing seth yeah. cause she was just holding her scripts shouting from the floor seth and you couldnt see her. Everybodys at a table and she was like, basically under the table. She was under the table and Johnny Knoxville was the host and he was a nice, amazing host seth a gentleman and he very helpfully reached into his pocket and just pulled out a bunch of loose pills [ laughter ] and they all had different colors [ laughter ] and they didnt have any tags. Theres no bottles seth yeah. And he looked at me and was like, ugh, these are all uppers these arent gonna work. [ laughter ] l so and then ill remember this, too, is that the nurse the nbc nurse came up and gave dratch her, you know, vicodin, or whatever, and she was, oh. And there was like, the vultures there was like ten people thatd be like, dratch, you going to use the rest of that vicodin . [ laughter ] and i was like, get away from her. [ laughter ] there was like, so many people trying to get her pain pills seth and then dont do pills, you guys. Seth yeah, dont do pills. Seriously seth yeah. Come on, guys. Thats not what this is if theres any message. [ laughter ] you also theres someone that you have loved for a long time, which is judge judy. Yeah. Seth and you got to present judge judy yeah. Seth was this a lifetime . It was a daytime emmys lifetime seth gotcha. Award. And i mean, how great is judge judy seth yeah. I mean, shes the best. [ cheers and applause and so tiny, too shes very tiny. I mean, shes just a boss. Seth yeah. Yeah, and i just love everything about her also i really genuinely love her show now judge judy is the opposite of free solo to me seth yeah, okay. [ laughter ] like, im watching free solo. Im like, whats this guy just dont go up. I dont know dont go up how bout that . [ laughter ] and then i watch judge judy and judys like, what are you, stupid . And im like, exactly. [ laughter ] seth yeah. She should have been she should have been seth she should have been at the top of the mountain. Oh, my god. Seth being like, no, no, no. [ light laughter ] she would have been like, you happy are you happy that you missed your life for nothing . Stupid dumb dumb, dumb, dumb seth so what three out of five stars for free solo . What do you give it . I did watch the whole thing seth all right thats good. Thats but there was a part of me i was like oh, god. This isnt gonna come out right. That was like, this guy better die. [ laughter ] im sorry. I know thats bad. Seth no, that came out great. That came out great. But i was like, if this dude doesnt die, why am i watching this . [ laughter and applause is that bad . Im sorry. Im glad he lived. Im glad he lived. Seth i am, too but seth i am too. He didnt have to do it seth he didnt have to do it there was not a gun no ones holding a gun to him. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] no one was in trouble seth yeah. He literally could just not do it. Seth yeah. And no one would even know he didnt do it seth yeah. Except for like three guys. [ laughter ] sorry, im glad hes alive, though and what an athletic what a feat [ laughter and applause seth amy poehler, everybody. [ cheers and applause wine country is in select theaters you can stream it on netflix tomorrow well be back right with dr. Ruth westheimer. [ cheers and applause the pink . Go mets go time daddy [ giggling ] ohhhh man. Took my hat off. [ to love somebody by bee gees playing ] thats crazy [ crowd cheering ] [ screaming ] lets go mets [ cheering ] at panera, our salads with peakseason berries. Creamy avocado. And a dressing fit for a goddess. Come taste what a salad should be. And order online for delivery right to you. Panera. Food as it should be. Welcome to our lounge. Enjoy your stay. Thanks very much. Find calm in over 1,000 airport lounges worldwide. Its another way weve got your back. The business Platinum Card from american express. Dont do business without it. Try dove go fresh. Something fresh . With the classic, crisp scent of cucumber green tea. 48 hour protection. And signature freshness. Now available in new deodorant wipes. Keep it fresh here are even more reasons to join tmobile. 1. Do you like netflix . Sure you do. Thats why its on us. 2. Unlimited data. Use as much as you want, when you want. 3. No surprises on your bill. Taxes and fees included. Still think you have a better deal . Bring in your discount, and well match it. Thats right. Tmobile will match your discount. Applebees new loaded chicken fajitas. Now only 10. 99. The 2019 nissan kicks. We like drip coffee, layovers and waiting on hold. What we dont like is relying on fancy technology for help. Snail mail we were invited to a y2k party. Uh, didnt that happen, like, 20 years ago . Oh, look, karolyn, weve got a mathematician on our hands check it out now you can schedule a callback or reschedule an appointment, even on nights and weekends. Todays xfinity service. Simple. Easy. Awesome. Id rather not. [ cheers and applause seth our next guest is an author and worldrenowned psychosexual therapist she is the subject of the documentary ask dr. Ruth, which is in select theaters now and streaming on hulu june 1st please welcome to the show dr. Ruth westheimer, everybody [ cheers and applause seth hello hello, there. Seth hello im so happy youre here you two were funny. [ laughter ] seth oh, thank you amy thank you. Seth you were watching backstage . I certainly did seth thats great. I heard every word. Seth thats wonderful. You brought a book guess what . You are too young. Seth okay. But i watch part of her television show. You are a little bit too young, but do not take it on an airplane i dont want it to fall in the toilet [ laughter ] im giving you amy oh its sex after 50. Amy sex after 50. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause but not on an airplane. [ laughter ] amy oh, my gosh. Seth yeah, when i get to be 50, which is right next to you, can you lend it can we share it . Amy yeah, well, well see what kind of shape its in [ laughter ] and then you call me, and then i get you the book, too seth oh, thank you very much amy thank you. Seth this is a bit of a homecoming for you you used to record your radio show sexually speaking right here i love this building. You are too young. [ laughter ] you dont know about it, but i did the Radio Program on the eighth floor, where you are seth yeah. For ten years, every sunday night not, like not taped seth you did it live i did it live from 10 00 to 12 00 and guess what come here. Amy yes, maam [ laughter ] when people when people came home on sunday nights from the hamptons, for example, they went into their cars and they listened to sexually speaking wyny right from this floor. Seth wow and by the time they came home, they were nicely sexually aroused. [ laughter ] amy yes. Seth thats great. Yeah amy very good. And 10 years. 10 whole years i did that. Now when i meet somebody who tells me that they listened to me, because it became number one rated seth yes i raise money for all kind of good causes like you do and like you do and so i say, so that means that you came home, you had some good sex while listening give me a little money for one of my channels. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause seth very nice and guess what . And im getting it seth youre getting it and im getting it. Amy thats terrific. Seth i imagine because of who you are and how iconic you are, people feel very comfortable asking you questions about sex. Yeah, but i dont want you to ask me questions about sex now seth okay. I want you to say, a friend of mine has a question. Seth ah. [ laughter ] not you, seth seth gotcha. Gotcha amy thats smart thats smart not you seth gotcha. A friend of mine yes seth is a talk show host, and [ laughter ] having to perform in front of an audience all day, does that make performance later in the night harder amy oh, very good question very interesting question i think looking at you, i have to tell you something seth okay. Then ill tell my friend amy dont listen [ laughter ] i tell you something, you tell your friend seth yeah. Looking at you, it actually makes your performance better that night seth oh, good. [ cheers ] because of them seth gotcha. Because they all applaud you. Seth gotcha. Yeah and laugh, so it should be better seth okay great. Ill tell jimmy fallon that. [ laughter and applause oh, i didnt know my friend. My friend. My friend, my friend [ cheers and applause but if you are if you are too tired seth yeah. Then go to sleep now you have two small children. Seth i do, yeah. So its difficult, but you could try. Go to sleep, put the alarm at 4 30. Get up, have some good sex, and go back to sleep [ cheers and applause seth i amy now, that sounds terrible seth now amy that sounds terrible seth yeah, i will tell you that my wife no, no, no, no. [ laughter ] seth my wife would be so not psyched. Amy dr. Ruth, with all due respect, if i heard the alarm go off and i heard a tap, tap, tap on my shoulder at 4 30 in the morning, and i said, whats going on and they said, its time to have sex [ laughter ] i would kill that person [ laughter and applause all right, ill think of Something Else amy thats too early thats too early seth you do not comment on politics, but the president tweeted about windmills recently, said they caused cancer and you took this as a public service, you tweeted about windmills. Which, amy, can you read that for me amy yes, thank you since windmills are in the news, a caution about the windmill position, where the woman swings around. A penis can be damaged its called peyronies am i saying that right . Seth peyronies . Amy peyronies disease, so be careful, please. Seth wow, that so is helpful. Amy and i appreciate that. [ cheers and applause so maybe thats a better idea than the other one seth now, when you say the windmill position, im assuming the idea is that it looks like a windmill that the its the full whatever your imagination wants it to be seth every part of my imagination i wouldve assumed the penis could get hurt [ laughter ] theres no version of it where im like, this would be fine. Amy well, youve got to know a you got to know how to do it im with you i get it [ laughter ] seth and is there a way to also the windmill position sexually, can you then harness the energy from that [ laughter and applause like are if your kids see the lights flickering, are they like, oh it all depends on your brain. Seth yes because sex is not between the waist and the knees. Sex is right up here in your brain. Seth youre very driven. Youve accomplished so much. Written so many books, had so many shows but one of the most wonderful things about this documentary is it is the story of how you escaped the holocaust. Did you feel now it was it certainly strikes me as now, with everything thats happening in the world in terms of antisemitism, it seems like now is a really good time to tell this story and remind people about what happened. So on a serious note, first of all, there are people who deny the holocaust, and i thought if they look at my story and go and see the film. And it happened and then there are people who have what is called holocaust fatigue. They dont talk about it anymore. We talked about it enough. I dont deal in politics, not like you i just watched you [ light laughter ] however, these days i do stand up and i say how upset i am when i see children being separated from parents, because that was my story if my parents had not sent me to switzerland, i wouldnt be alive. I would be in auschwitz. So we now have an exhibit. I would like to invite you to come, at the museum of jewish heritage, a living memorial to the holocaust. Its called auschwitz not far away uh, not long ago. Not far away. So i certainly have to stand up and say with all of the things that are happening now, its not just antisemitism, its antimuslims, its antichurch its a lot of things we have to stand up and be counted. Even you comedians, i believe that you should entertain, but you also should stand up to be counted for serious things seth well i [ cheers and applause cant tell you what a Wonderful Service i want to tell you something, in the jewish tradition, it says that, a lesson taught with humor is a lesson retained. So you people are performing an important service, because by your laughing, by her talking about the cell phone that was in her bag amy it was in my bag [ laughter ] i think thats a good point by saying, take some time out and laugh a little and listen to some music seth all sounds good to me [ cheers and applause thank you so much for being here what an honor. Amy what an honor. Thank you [ cheers and applause seth dr. Ruth westheimer everybody. Ask dr. Ruth is in select theaters now, and streaming on hulu june 1st. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause de us, dear lexus, it is with a very gratesful heart that i write you about your amazing employees. Eric volunteered to come to my rescue that evening. To a mom, these things really matter. From this day forward, im a lexus customer for life. Thank you. Sincerely. Ivy, kim, david, greg. Crafting every experience for our guests with the same level of care we craft our vehicles. Thats what makes lexus, lexus. Experience amazing at your lexus dealer. Lexus. We want your sandwich to arrive freaky fresh®, so we only deliver within 5 minutes of our stores. And not. Farther. Hes new. Order at jimmyjohns. Com. Because sandwich. Dont let an amazing adventure pass you by. Tripadvisor makes it easy to book your tours, attractions, and experiences ahead of time. So you never miss out on cant miss adventures book things to do on tripadvisor. Milk, fresh cream and only sustainably farmed vanilla. Its made with fresh cream, sugar and milk. Breyers the good vanilla. We proudly partner with American Farmers for grade a milk and cream. Mmm woman 1 this. Woman 2 . This. Man 1 . This is my body of proof. Man 2 proof of less joint pain. Woman 3 . And clearer skin. Man 3 proof that i can fight psoriatic arthritis. Woman 4 . With humira. Woman 5 humira targets and blocks a specific source of inflammation that contributes to both joint and skin symptoms. Its proven to help relieve pain, stop further irreversible joint damage, and clear skin in many adults. Humira is the number one prescribed biologic for psoriatic arthritis. avo humira can lower your ability to fight infections. Serious and sometimes fatal infections, including tuberculosis, and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened, as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. Tell your doctor if youve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common and if youve had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flulike symptoms or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. Woman 6 ask your rheumatologist about humira. Woman 7 go to mypsaproof. Com to see proof in action. Security for the little ones inside. Possibly the inspiration behind hanes comfort flex fit with a breathable pouch. That. And probably this. Hanes comfort flex fit. What do all these people have in common, limu . Oug [ paper rustling ] exactly, nothing. Theyre completely different people, thats why they need customized Car Insurance from liberty mutual. Theyll only pay for what they need [ gargling ] [ coins hitting the desk ] yes, and they could save a ton. Youve done it again, limu. Only pay for what you need. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. [ cheers and applause seth every wednesday and friday we release a podcast edition of late night so you can catch up on the go its audio from the show and includes a closer look, comedy bits, and guest interviews plus extra things exclusive for the podcast, like bonus backstage interviews, chats with the late night staff, original comedy sketches, and more. Head to latenightsethpodcast. Com to subscribe and its free, which is great. Alright boys, time for bed. Listen to your mom, knuckleheads. Hand em over. Hand what over . Video games, whatever you got. Lets go. You can watch videos of people playing video games in the morning. Is that everything . I can see whos online. Im gonna sweep the sofa fort. Well, look what i found. Take control of your wifi with xfinity xfi. Lets roll now thats simple, easy, awesome. Xfinity xfi gives you the speed, coverage and control you need. Manage your wifi network from anywhere when you download the xfi app today. [ cheers and applause seth my thanks to amy poehler, dr. Ruth westheimer, phillip fish fisher and of course, the 8g band. Stay tuned for carson daly. Well see you tomorrow [ cheers and applause

© 2024 Vimarsana

comparemela.com © 2020. All Rights Reserved.