Are meritbased, just ask my president ial adviser, my daughter. [ laughter and applause new york mayor bill de blasio announced today that he is running for president. Come on, bill, everyone knows the next step after mayor of new york is insane lawyer. [ laughter and applause [ cheers and applause former Vice President joe biden announced today that the headquarters for his president ial campaign will be in philadelphia and hes already getting to know the locals [ laughter and applause according to the washington post, President Trump is frustrated with his advisers, because he believes they are pushing him toward war with iran dude, youre the one who hired john bolton. [ laughter ] did you not know thats his whole deal bomb iran was his yearbook quote. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause still rocking that mustache even back then. Game of thrones will air its final episode this weekend and if youre wondering who is going to die, my guess is hbo . [ laughter and applause senator Bernie Sanders said yesterday that he supports breaking up facebook, but only because he cant figure out to close it [ laughter ] the green button just made it bigger now its my whole desktop. [ cheers and applause i dont like being poked [ laughter ] kris jenner and Kourtney Kardashian were in new york yesterday to unveil their wax figures at Madame Tussauds wax museum. But it wasnt until they got back to the hotel that their driver realized his mistake. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause all right, ladies, were here i said, were here, ladies just jump on out, ladies, were here [ laughter ] this is the ho oh [ bleep ] [ laughter ] arizonas state legislature has passed a bill to make lemonade the official state drink, while massachusetts is still vodka in a Poland Spring bottle [ laughter and applause heres to the greatest state in the nation. And finally, former president jimmy carter was released from the hospital today after breaking his hip while turkey hunting. And this is cool, he even got a card from the turkey [ laughter and applause we have a great show for you tonight. You know her from snl, and her excellent show shrill is now streaming on hulu. Aidy bryant is back, everybody [ cheers and applause one of our favorites and a legend is here tonight hes a renowned director and writer his new book, mr. Knowitall will be on stands tuesday, may 21st john waters is joining us. [ cheers and applause so excited to talk to him. And he is the senator from colorado and a 2020 president ial candidate. Michael bennet joins us tonight. So, youre here on a great night. [ cheers and applause before we get to all that, the president is arguing in court that congress cant investigate him as republicans wage a war on reproductive rights. For more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause seth this week it really feels like were seeing one threat after another to our system of constitutional democracy. The president is vowing to block all subpoenas from congress. His lawyers are arguing in court that congress doesnt have the power to investigate him the white House Counsel told congress this week that trump would refuse all demands for records and testimony related to the Mueller Report and trump is turning the Justice Department into a political weapon at this point the next National Treasure movie is just going to be two hours of nic cage trying to tape the constitution back together [ laughter ] im still missing a piece [ cheers and applause earlier this week, for example, trump said he would resist all congressional requests for documents like his tax returns, because he thinks congress shouldnt be allowed to see them why continue to block these House Democrats who are looking for information . Because they are asking for things that they are not entitled to. I could ask them, i assume, if they ask me, i could ask them for the same kind of thing they wouldnt want to do it. Seth yeah, they would. In fact, several democratic president ial candidates have already released their tax returns, because they have nothing to hide. You think Elizabeth Warren has a side hustle selling hotels to russian mobsters [ laughter ] at most i can see her running a b b that serves breakfast way too early. [ laughter ] be downstairs at 4 30 because the cream of wheat goes fast. The Trump Administration is even refusing basic requests for information about big banks that have scammed customers yesterday for example, warren grilled joseph otting, the comptroller of the currency during a senate hearing. Now, the office of the comptroller of the currency, or occ, is charged in part with regulating banks like wells fargo. Warren asked otting to release information about the bank, which has had a series of scandals otting refused and lets just say it did not go well for him will you commit to publicly disclosing the occs evaluation of the, quote, competence, experience, character, or integrity, end quote, of the next wells ceo i will not. Why not cause itll be confidential supervisory information. Well, its confidential if you make it confidential the point is you have the Legal Authority at this point in time i do not have plans to release that information publicly and what is the reason that you dont have plans why are you keeping this secret . As you indicated, its my prerogative. Okay, and our job is oversight here senator warren, no one has been more tougher on wells fargo than myself. No one has been more outspoken you mean at the occ thats a low bar [ laughter ] i would disagree with that. I find that insulting that you would make that comment. Good. Seth oh. [ laughter ] what do you even say in response to that . Im insulted. Good. Im glad youre insulted. Well, im glad [ laughter ] that youre glad that im insulted. [ laughter ] its such a simple yet effective burn that all you can do is slink down in your chair and hope she forgets youre there. [ laughter ] so the president is arguing that he cant be investigated or subpoenaed and that congress isnt entitled to information about him. And then theres the fact that republicans in alabama passed an inhumane and blatantly unconstitutional antiabortion law, essentially inviting the Supreme Courts conservative majority to overturn roe v. Wade. In fact, last night the governor of alabama signed the bill into law and actually admitted that it was unenforceable the most restrictive abortion law in the nation is now in effect in the state of alabama the governor of that state signing the bill yesterday, which bans all abortions unless the mothers life is in danger doctors in alabama who perform an abortion if convicted would face up to life in prison. Planned parenthood and the aclu are challenging states who have restricted abortion, saying lawmakers are passing these bills only to benefit their parties. They know and say publicly that these laws are blatantly unconstitutional, and they dont care tonight the governor here says while she signed the abortion bill, she also knows it is unenforceable because of roe v. Wade. Seth think about that. They passed a bill they know is unconstitutional, and they dont care can you imagine how republicans would react if new york and california passed laws just banning all gun ownership . The nra would send out an all caps email saying, tyranny is here. Trump would tweet something like, gun grabbin libs, not nice with a bunch of weird exclamation points [ light laughter ] and sean hannity would scream so loud, the screen in your tv would crack. Well, probably not your tv, but, you know, your grandpas tv. [ light laughter ] and it will not shock you to learn that some of the men voting for these bills have absolutely no idea how pregnancy or reproduction work take republican state senator Clyde Chambliss who was asked about the fact that the bill does not provide exemptions in case of rape and incest. Chambliss said that abortions could only be provided until the woman is known to be pregnant. Okay already, what . [ light laughter ] is this some kind of ancient alabama riddle the buffet is all you can eat that is until you get to the restaurant. [ light laughter ] chambliss also said [ cheers and applause he also said, im not trained medically, so i dont know the proper terminology and timelines, but from what ive read and what ive been told, theres some period of time before you can know a woman is pregnant. Wait youre not medically trained because you [ bleep ] nailed it, dude [ laughter ] did it really not ever occur to you to look into the terminology and the timelines before voting on this bill it strikes me the only timelines these guys think they know is you have sex and then nine months later a stork shows up. [ light laughter ] in fact, that comment was so dumb, planned parenthood actually had to issue a fact check on its twitter account when asked if this bill makes an exception for victims of incest, senator chambliss said, yes, until she knows shes pregnant. Again, that would mean that that person would have to get an abortion before they know theyre pregnant thats not a thing [ laughter ] its not [ cheers and applause i mean who is this guys sex ed teacher a pole cat in a beer helmet . [ laughter ] but of course, this isnt about protecting life. If thats what it was about, then republicans would invest money in maternity care, parental leave, universal prek, or any number of policies that would actually help families raise children what its really about is depriving women of their basic human rights and chambliss basically gave the game away when he was asked why the bill wouldnt apply to eggs fertilized through ivf chambliss said, the egg in the lab doesnt apply, its not in a woman. Shes not pregnant. Dude, you just admitted it its not in a woman, so we dont care you said out loud the thing republicans pretend they arent doing. Youre like one of those guys selling fake watches on the street and admitting its fake its not a rolex, its a polex, and the numbers are out of order. [ laughter and applause now, these antiabortion bills passed by multiple states are blatantly unconstitutional in fact, the authors know these bills will get overturned in the lower courts thats the point they want them to get to the Supreme Court. And they are doing this now, because they think theyve finally got five conservative justices on their side with the appointment of Justice Brett kavanaugh. You remember him [ laughter ] the bad guy from every 80s teen movie. [ laughter ] you know, he looks like he should be telling michael j. Fox, a werewolf cant play basketball. [ laughter ] of course, during his confirmation process, kavanaugh repeated all the usual nonsense about how he would be a fair and impartial judge. And honestly for the life of me, i just cant figure out what would make republicans think kavanaugh is on their side hes already been pretty, you know, balanced since my nomination in july, theres been a frenzy on the left to come up with something, anything to block my confirmation the behavior of several of the democratic members of this committee at my hearing a few weeks ago was an embarrassment this whole twoweek effort has been a calculated and orchestrated political hit, fueled with apparent pentup anger about President Trump and the 2016 election, revenge on behalf of the clintons, and millions of dollars in money from outside left wing opposition groups. This is a circus [ laughter ] seth i mean, holy [ bleep ], that guy is a Supreme Court justice now. Can you imagine what his questions during oral arguments are like i saw Hillary Clinton outside my house last night digging through my trash as part of a left wing conspiracy to steal my identity and make a mold of my face so she can wear it as a mask and rob a liquor store. [ laughter and applause this guy accused [ applause ] this guy accused the clintons of orchestrating a secret revenge plot with money from left wing opposition groups to destroy him. And now he could be one of the deciding votes on everything from whether congress can investigate the president to roe v. Wade. He sounds like hes auditioning for a talk show with alex jones. Theyre demons. Theyre freakin interdimensional invaders. Okay ill just say it make fun of me all you want on cnn or wherever. But everyone already innately knows this these people are not freakin humans, okay Hillary Clinton is a goddamn demon [ light laughter ] scuse me takin the lord its not taking it in vain she is a demon damned to hell scuse me. [ laughter ] seth i like how he says excuse me at the end like he just sneezed for alex jones, an outburst like that is just involuntary joe biden is a secret lizard who smells like sulfur gesundheit [ laughter and applause of course, throughout his conformation process, kavanaugh repeated all the usual lines about how he would supposedly respect roe v. Wade as settled law. Senator, i said that its settled as a precedent of the Supreme Court. It has been reaffirmed many times over the past 45 years, as you know and most prominently, most importantly reaffirmed in planned parenthood versus casey in 1992. I understand the importance of the issue. I understand the importance that people attach to the roe v. Wade decision, to the planned parenthood versus casey decision i dont live in a bubble i understand i live in the real world seth man, its so weird to see someone who is capable of losing his [ bleep ] like that suddenly calm and measured its like seeing a crazy guy in the subway screaming, rats controlled by the government are spying on us. And then he turns to you and says, by the way, that jacket looks fantastic. [ laughter ] second, kavanaugh was lying about roe v. Wade. And we all know he was lying, because he said the exact opposite in an email when he worked for the Bush Administration somebody leaked to the New York Times and then to nbc news this email written by Brett Kavanaugh in 2003 in which he argues explicitly that roe versus wade is not recognized to be settled law, because the Supreme Court could very well overturn it. Quote, i am not sure that all legal scholars refer to roe as the settled law of the land at the Supreme Court level since court can always overrule its precedent and three current justices on the court would do so. Seth man, id love to hear kavanaughs explanation for that Hillary Clinton snuck into my Office Wearing a mask of my face and typed it on my computer to frame me and alex jones is right, shes a demon from hell. Excuse me. [ laughter and applause our system of constitutional democracy is facing one threat after another. Congress should be able to investigate the president. And women should be able to make choices about their own bodies i cant believe i have to say that, and if youre offended by me good. Seth this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause well be right back with aidy bryant, everybody [ cheers and applause announcer for more of seths closer looks be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. When crabe stronger. Strong, with new nicorette coated ice mint. Layered with flavor. Its the first and only coated nicotine lozenge. For an amazing taste. That outlasts your craving. New nicorette ice mint. Get triple action moisturizer. And 48 hour protection. From full time keeper. To part time coach. New dove men care sportcare. Tough on sweat, not on skin. [sfx bottle opening] [sfx roller coaster sounds] [sfx bottle opening] ahhhh [sfx crowd cheering] [sfx bottle opening] ahhhh im not picking it up. You pick it up im not picking it up. Ill pick it up theyre clean cuz my hineys clean. Oh yeah im charmin clean. Charmin ultra strong just cleans better. Enjoy the go with charmin. Almost time for me to go. Well, what if i. Drove me home . What if we lost track of time . What if we took a leap of faith . Whoohoo what if you. Missed my flight next week . The allnew rav4. Toyota. Lets go places. [ cheers and applause seth welcome back, everybody. Give it up for the 8g band right over there [ cheers and applause all this week we have had the drummer from the gary clark jr. Band. His album this land is out now. You can catch gary clark jr. At the Hollywood Bowl in los angeles on september 29th and on tour all summer long. Johnny radelat, everybody. Thank you so much for a great week and i really appreciate it. [ cheers and applause our first guest tonight is an emmynominated actress you know from her work on saturday night live. The first season of her show shrill is streaming now on hulu please welcome back to our show, one of our favorites, aidy bryant, everybody [ cheers and applause seth how are you [ cheers and applause god feels good to be home. Seth oh, its nice to have you home and i want to congratulate you i know ive talked to you a little but i dont think youve been here since shrill came out. Its true seth its just a fantastic show oh. Seth and you have a Second Season and youre going to film it out in portland this summer, right yes, i damn am. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause seth and i know, you know, it was so great because obviously you have a show like that and it is very much your show. You are driving the show i know you have a hand in creating the show. And when you do press about it, it must be different than when you get interviewed about snl because it is a far more personal show. Totally, yeah i mean, the show is about, like, a woman finding her selfconfidence and hating her body and deciding to stop hating herself. And so, you know, like, snl they are like, whats it like in the wacky wigs . Seth oh, yeah. And then when i do press about shrill, the questions are like, so youve hated yourself for many years. [ laughter ] and im like, yeah [ laughter ] um, and its theres nothing like backtoback digging in with people being like, so, must be tough to wear tshirts. [ laughter ] and im like, yeah, i guess. [ laughter ] seth your husband, conner, whos a wonderful guy, who ive known for a long time, and your family, did they have a different experience watching the show versus watching you on snl . Yeah. I think they were weirdly more nervous for it because it is so much more personal and it is, like, you know, a little bit theres parts of my life are in there. And i think for them it was a lot to take because theres, like, some sex scenes. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] you know . Yeah, if you want to see my ass, check it out [ cheers and applause seth thats a resounding yes. Thats a if you want it, youve got it. [ cheers and applause i do what i have to to make money. Seth yes [ laughter ] this is all about money. This is not titillating for her. Its just about money. Cash. [ laughter ] seth you the Season Finale is this week. Oh, yeah. Seth youve had a great season and you did some impressions this year and you did one of anne mcclain, who is a female astronaut. Yes seth and she tweeted from space seth from space. Yeah, its seth from space she tweeted, i am still laughing about this, and aidy, your uniform looks impeccable cant handle it seth yeah. [ laughter ] because, i mean, its easiest the coolest thing thats ever happened to me it means that she watched the sketch in space. Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] my face has been to space [ laughter ] like yes. [ cheers and applause it, like it was the coolest thing. And she gave, like in space she gave an interview about it where the like asked shes floating in the air and theyre like, did you like it . And she was like, it was the laugh we needed this week. [ laughter ] and i was like, are you telling me im helping the astronauts . [ laughter ] like, it touched me so it was easily the coolest thing thats ever happened to me. Seth that is fantastic yeah. Seth i am a little sad that twitter made it to space yeah. Seth you know, just in general. And i hear you. Seth yeah, i feel like it is a virus that i hoped we could contain on our planet. [ laughter ] i know. Seth its spreading. Youre right. Seth its spreading to the yeah. [ applause ] seth Meghan Mccain was on the show you did a Meghan Mccain impression this year and she was here and she was talking about how she enjoyed that you guys have a crazy connection yeah, its really were both arizona women that is true and we weirdly we also went to the same high school. Seth yeah. And so i watched her on your show and in it shes like, yeah, you know, aidy and i went to the same high school. And she, like, shouts out our high school, and is like, whoop, whoop. Yeah, Xavier College prep. And i definitely was like, oh, man, we had different experiences of high school. [ laughter ] like, i was like, for her it was a whoop, whoop. [ laughter ] and for me it was the darkest opposite [ laughter ] and i really was like, oh, okay, okay. Like, ill tell you, i recently found a selfportrait that i drew in class of myself in high school i think you have it. Seth yeah. But just to warn you before you show it, its incredibly scary. [ laughter ] okay but i think its fun to know that, like, Meghan Mccain in her mind high school is whoop, whoop. And for me its this which is [ laughter ] this is okay. [ cheers and applause and i think something that i love about its very subtle seth yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] and thats my school had a uniform. So im wearing the uniform, and im behind bars. [ laughter ] and then i assume thats sort of blood on the walls [ laughter ] or sort of red paint seth they were like, aidy, we got your submission for the yearbook cover [ laughter ] and we are going to go another way. And that is fair. I have to say it was, like, 2005 it was kind of cool to be emo, and i was living that very hard. [ laughter ] dipping my toe into goth seth i do think people that go, woot, woo are not the ones who end up in comedy so i do think that it makes sense that you ended up being the version of Meghan Mccain thats on snl. Yeah, absolutely, begging people in wigs to like me. [ laughter ] for sure seth so we mentioned your husband, conner. You guys went to italy yes seth this summer well yeah, this past summer seth this past summer and you you went to a cheese factory, i guess what do you call it . Absolutely, cheese factory. [ laughter ] yeah yeah, i mean, we went to italy which they were like, oh, its the most romantic place for a honeymoon. Oh, the romance. And right away when we got there, they were like, theres also a cheese factory. [ laughter ] and we were like, thats for us. [ laughter ] and while we were there, one of the women was like, you need to slow down eating the cheese. [ laughter ] theres such a long day. You must not eat all this cheese. But heres i think this is a we had to wear full body condoms to go [ laughter ] into the into the cheese factory. But its the still to this day, its guiding our marriage seth yeah. [ laughter ] and how does it work i mean, is it just like they just are constantly, like, saying, this is what this cheese tastes like . Okay, well, it was only one kind of cheese [ laughter ] it was Parmigiano Reggiano and its basically youre just watching men who are exhausted and are working so hard. And youre, like, watching them lift, like, huge chunks of cheese [ laughter ] and then you kind of walk around and taste it and we still talk about it probably once a week seth wow [ laughter ] that is outstanding. Living the dream abso this is love. [ laughter ] seth it is so exciting that youre going to do season two of shrill. Thank you seth and it is so great that this week is the Season Finale another great for you. Give it up, everybody. Aidy bryant. [ cheers and applause first season of shrill available on hulu. Season finale of snl airs this saturday at 11 30 p. M. Well be right back with john waters. [ cheers and applause with this one little nexgard chew comes power, confidence, reassurance youre doing whats right to protect your dog from fleas and ticks for a full month. This one little nexgard chew is the 1 vet recommended protection. And its the only chew fda approved to prevent infections that cause lyme disease. Plus, its safe for puppies. Theres a lot of power in this one little nexgard chew. Nexgard. What one little chew can do. Glike an antigravity chair. Kohls. Nexgard. Or the amazon echo and get 10 kohls cash . Or a new fitbit. And get 30 kohls cash plus stack the savings with an extra 15 or 20 off . Plus save even more on your fathers day gift purchase thursday through sunday. At kohls. water spitting sound our thickest, toughest wipe. Tackles any mess. My gums are irritated. I dont have to worry about that, do i . Harmful bacteria lurk just below the gum line. Crest gum detoxify, voted product of the year. It works below the gum line to neutralize harmful plaque bacteria and help reverse early gum damage. Gum detoxify, from crest. P touched down in thehoes land of the delta blues in the middle of the pouring rain then im walking in memphis walking with my feet ten feet off of beale then im walking in memphis walking in memphis but, do i really feel the way i feel . And reverend green, glad to see you when you havent got a prayer youve got a prayer in memphis memphis then im walking in memphis walking in memphis [ cheers and applause seth our next guest is the iconic director of films like pink flamingos, hairspray, and crybaby. His book, mr. Knowitall the tarnished wisdom of a filth elder is available may 21st please welcome to the show john waters, everyone. [ cheers and applause seth hello, john how are you seth i am thrilled good. Seth thrilled to have you here this book is a fascinating look at your career and your own perspective on your career right seth early on, you directed films that were considered by many very salacious, very crude. Yeah. Seth and you embraced bad reviews. Yeah, i made a career out of bad reviews. [ light laughter ] we waited fothem like variety said, the most filthy, repulsive, stupidest movie ever made. We said, thank you. You know [ laughter ] we put it in the ads you know and rex reed, he always came through. Said, where do these people come from . Where do they go when the sun goes down . Isnt there a law or something . [ laughter ] seth and did you feel like that drew people to your work . Of course it did. Seth yeah. The people that i wanted to come see my movie, which didnt fit in even minority groups, they loved to see that yeah seth thats fantastic. Yeah. Seth and then you sort of entered the mainstream with hairspray. And yes, definitely definitely seth and now that that was a sneak attack seth a sneak attack. Yeah [ light laughter ] yeah. Seth and then all of a sudden, you know, you make this very sort of sort of honest, authentic movie about where you came from and and then now its been adapted to stage and its taken on this life of its own. Are you precious about your work or are you happy when it goes are you kidding theres been 50 versions of it they keep paying me to write it. I want to do the porn version. Really [ laughter and applause which will be pubic hairspray. Seth pubic hairspray. There you go [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] lets wait for the reviews yeah, yeah, yeah. Seth i feel like we could write them yeah yeah. Seth you there is this label that has been put on you over the years of cult director. Yeah. Seth do you like being called a cult director well, i dont mind it, but in hollywood its the worst thing you can ever say because to them, cult means, two smart people like it and it lost every penny. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] so, which was true in my movies seth yeah. So, no. I never went in and said, i want to make a cult movie. I always had to lie and say, everybody in america is gonna love this movie. [ light laughter ] you know, and they believed it sometimes. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] it was good i failed upwards in hollywood. Seth yes yeah. Seth you were all lucky because of that. You did a film you write about this in the book and this really speaks to i think the difficulties of getting your vision on screen as a director you had a film pecker. Yeah, yeah. Seth and pecker. Seth pecker, yeah. I thought you said packer. Seth no, no, i trust me thats the porn version seth yeah. [ laughter and applause seth oh, my god. I cant believe pecker wasnt dirty enough for you well, there was a porn version. Seth oh, there was and it was called, pecker. Seth oh, god so, so pitiful. Right. Seth so, you you had a scene where you had rats you needed rats to be having sex. Seth having sex but the problem was that all you know, i know how to get them to have oral sex. You put Peanut Butter on their seth sure, sure. Always works. Seth right [ laughter ] we all know that yeah but, i wanted the missionary position seth okay. And they wouldnt do it, and i thought what do we have put on like, ben or willard . show them rat movies . Seth yeah. [ laughter ] or i dont know rat porn is there such thing . Seth did you have like do have like an animal there was a trainer there but im behind the set, and they werent doing it so im killing time, talking rat dirty going, hey, wheres that rat hole eat that cheese, bitch. [ laughter and applause and, you know, trying to get them into it seth yeah. Sure, sure and then i there was silence, and nobody laughed. I thought, whats the matter . Walked around the other side it was the trainer, his little child he had brought to work that day [ audience oohs i know i look like a pervert anyway [ laughter ] so, it was kind of sad seth yeah. I apologized. Seth i will say, whatever you did, you know this is true im gonna show right now oh, god seth im gonna show the audience what it looked like i havent seen that clip. Seth you havent seen it well, not for a long time seth lets take a look at all the excellent work you did [ rats squeaking ] [ laughter ] how we actually did it, the prop master, brook yeaton, he said, give me that. Just took them and shook em, like that, and underneath. And the rat trainer, we sent him home seth there you go. [ laughter ] i really what i appreciate is it says, directed by john waters. Yeah. Seth that you were like, thats when i want my name to come out. Of course yeah seth yeah. [ laughter ] and it was also flickering like there was a technical mistake. Yeah seth theres a great story about what you were like as a kid and how you talked to your mom about school well, about school i mean, i just tried to talk about when i went there, i used to come home, and said, theres this weird little kid in my class and he only draws with black crayons. And i talked about him so much, my mother asked the teacher and she said, thats your son. [ laughter ] so i was creating characters for myself cause i was young. Seth yes, exactly. There you were yeah, yeah. Seth one of the favorite guests, we were ever lucky enough to have on this show is joan rivers. You went on her talk show. A lot of times, and, you know, the only good thing about her death, she didnt know she died seth yeah. She didnt. And i was on the show on the very beginning when she was on with her husband, and it was so elaborate. She had on divine and i and everything and she was always very supportive i did her Home Shopping network show, which was so pitiful it was one set with six folding chairs, and she told me that i was the only person that sold not one thing on the show. [ laughter ] seth what did i was seth what did you even try to sell . I was pushing the video of desperate living. [ laughter ] my lesbian political melodrama yeah [ laughter ] seth and they sold zero. Not one person bought one seth oh, well. Hopefully well do better with the book tonight yeah. Yeah, hopefully. Seth thank you so much for being here thank you seth what an honor thats john waters, everybody. [ cheers and applause mr. Knowitalls available may 21st well be right back with senator Michael Bennet [ cheers and applause Michael Bennet [ cheers and applause hey, who are you . Oh, hey jeff, im a car thief. What . im here to steal your car because, well, thats my job. What . What . . What . laughing what . . What . what . [crash] what . haha, it happens. And if youve got cutrate car insurance, paying for this could feel like getting robbed twice. So get allstate. And be better protected from mayhem. Like me. Its not red carpet rich. Its backyard movie rich. Lifes rich. Ritz. Do you battery sound. Want a charge . Yeah battery charging. Thank you so much. Battery charging. Seaonly abreva cany to help sget rid of it in. As little as 2 1 2 days when used at the first sign. Abreva starts to work immediately to block the virus and protect healthy cells. Abreva acts on it. So you can too. [seag[bottle opens] ahh [water sfx] [bottle opens] [horse sfx] ahh [ocean sfx] [bottle opens] ahh yoaw [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause seth our next guest is a United States senator from colorado and a democratic candidate for president. Please welcome to the show senator Michael Bennet, everyone [ cheers and applause seth welcome to the show, senator. Thank you seth now, i want to start by saying there i dont know if you know this im sorry about what my nephews did your dressing room seth oh, your nephews are back there i was working on cleaning it up before i got on here. Seth thats very nice of you to do that yeah. Seth do you i dont know if you know this, like a hundred people are running for president. Do you know that i did know that seth yeah. I think yeah, i know my mom called me and she said, do we really need a 21st candidate . Seth yeah. When she read in the paper that i was running [ laughter ] which i think seth she was probably she was probably mad that she had to find out in the paper. I think. [ laughter ] that may not have that may not have been the best way to let her know seth yeah. [ laughter ] you you are the seventh to those of you that are gonna be 25th, 6th, and 7th, call your mom and let them know. [ laughter ] seth yeah, thats a nice thats a nice Public Service yeah. Seth seven senators running, and ive asked this question to Bernie Sanders, to kamala harris. Is it awkward at work when you are talking to someone else who thinks they should be president more than you . Yeah, it can be awkward seth yeah. [ light laughter ] but a lot a lot hasnt changed. We have the same red jello every day for lunch. Seth really . Yeah. [ laughter ] seth wow, you know, you think its not sexy and then you hear that, youre like, wow, what a cool, cool job. I know. Actually, you wonder why with so many varieties of jello, we have to have the same one seth yeah. Every lunch. [ light laughter ] seth is that something but for ten years, its the same stuff [ light laughter ] seth is it the republicans that choose that its red jello [ laughter ] actually, i dont know e seth yeah i dont know the answer to that seth yeah, well get to the bottom of that [ laughter ] it was so crazy the first time i ever walked into that place. You have to give a speech when you, you know seth yeah. Go back there the first time and you walk in that room, and theyre all there. At that time, Hillary Clinton was still there. Seth yeah. John kerry was still there. And but then theyre sitting there just eating jello like anybody else [ laughter ] whos in kindergarten. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] the problem with jello as a food, and i dont want to make this all about jello, but [ laughter ] theres not theres not like a refined way to eat it no. Seth you know what i mean . You could only eat it like its not like at Downton Abbey they bring out a knife and fork for the jello [ laughter ] no, you cant do that seth no, you cant do that thats probably enough on the jello seth yeah. Yeah, thats probably enough [ laughter ] well, it is it is one of your platforms. [ laughter and applause oh, i want to ask about this you know, one of the things that brought you to prominence, certainly one of the first times i saw you in the National News is you during the shutdown, you went after senator ted cruz for you accused him of having crocodile tears as far as things Like National disasters and whatnot. Right seth you know, i think hes sort of famously unliked in the senate what was the feedback you got after you went after him yeah, that he was famously unliked. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] i came to understand how beto raised all that money in texas seth yeah. Running against him cause people called from all over. [ applause ] but it was kind of funny cause after that, you know, a lot of people there were a lot of articles about mild mannered Michael Bennet. And when my daughter caroline, whos my oldest, was watching that episode of the floor, when i was yelling at them on the floor, she said, uhoh, ive heard that voice before. [ laughter ] thats what she said to her roommates, and then every time it shows up in the paper, mild mannered Michael Bennet, one of daughters sends it to me circled or they like roll their eyes because theyre like, whos that guy . [ laughter ] seth you do three daughters . Is that right . Three daughters seth how do they how have they enjoyed life with a father as a politician . They it gives them a profound opportunity to mock me in return. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] which is what they do i met your dad backstage seth yeah, my dads here tonight. It must be cool to be your dad. [ laughter ] i mean seth he was a cool dad ill tell you that much. Ill bet he was seth yeah. Yeah. Theyd probably rather have you as their dad than me as their dad. A cooler job seth yeah, its a you know, with that said, you know, im not that good at it. So i think, theyre probably lucky to have you. [ laughter ] you know, i want to ask in all seriousness, i mean, there is a question of when you get up to those numbers, when its 15, 16, now its, you know, 21 people, and you dont have much of a National Base you know, why did you decide to do this . The reason i decided to do it is i think were at risk of being the first generation of americans to leave less opportunity, not more, to the people coming after us thats how i feel about our generation weve had 40 years when 90 of the American People havent seen a pay raise. We have no economic mobility in this country at all anymore. And i think we really have to restore integrity to this government of ours this is an exercise in selfgovernment. Its not someone elses government and the freedom caucus, and ted cruz, and now donald trump have done a good job of separating, you know, this government from the American People and it [ cheers and applause it you know, it may be, and i think it is in many ways corrupt and bankrupt and obsolete, and all of which are invitations for us to fix it you cant just leave it alone. This is how we make decisions. Other countries around the world who are not inconvenienced by our form of democracy, like china, dont have to wait for us to get our act together. So, you know, you think about the six months we spent screwing around with donald trump and the wall that mexico was supposed to pay for. During that period of time, china landed somebody on the dark side of the moon. Theyre building 3,000 miles of fiber optic cable connecting latin america with africa with china. And weve spent 5 trillion since 2001 on tax cuts for rich people and 5. 6 trillion in the middle east. Thats 11 or 12 or 13 trillion we could have invested in america, invested in the American People to drive our economy for everybody and we might as well have lit it on fire is my position, and i think we need to change it [ cheers and applause seth do you have you know, as people sort of say, you know, i think to some degree its like, oh, cory booker, you know, hes making his main issue gun control. You know, bernie is medicare for all. Klobuchar seems to be, you know, infrastructure kamala, you know, teacher pay. Is there a Michael Bennet issue right now that youre hanging on well, i actually do think that this restoring Economic Growth reaches everybody in america. It really is the job that we have to do, because the democracy will not survive with this level of income inequality. It wont we know that from history. And our income inequality today is the highest its been in 100 years. The lack of economic mobility i described earlier. So, i think there are many things we need to do thats one weve got to deal with Climate Change weve got to deal with immigration. Weve got to deal with infrastructure as somebody who was a former school superintendent, we need to do a hell of a lot better job than were doing educating people in this country at every single level [ cheers and applause and so and finally what i say about this is we have to govern ourselves again. We have to learn how to do it. Thats not just a trump problem. We were screwed up before he got there. When i asked people who voted for donald trump in my state, why did you vote for him . ÷ almost always they say, we wanted to blow the place up. Seth yeah. And so, i say to them, congratulations, you achieved what you wanted to do, but what are we going to do now . And you know, when i think about how much wasted time theres been in the senate the 10 years that ive been there, the waste of opportunity for the next generation of americans and the generation after that when this country was founded, it was not founded on the expectation that we would agree with each other. It was founded on the expectation that we would disagree with each other that was the whole point of living in a republic or now what we call a democracy. And weve got to get back to a place where were disagreeing but using that disagreement to fashion more durable and more Imaginative Solutions than any king or tyrant could ever think of of themselves. And thats going to require a lot more out of us as citizens and a much higher expectation of what our elected leadership should look like in d. C. Seth you mentioned Imaginative Solutions. I do want to bring you back to colorado before we go. Is it true that magic mushrooms are going to be legal in colorado [ laughter ] yeah. I dont know what ha i think our voters just voted seth yeah. Yeah, in denver to do that, and i dont know i think they might have thought that we were out of marijuana all of a sudden. Seth yeah. [ laughter and applause or theyre worried theyre gonna be and by the way, were not out of marijuana in colorado [ laughter ] seth well, thats what it says on the state flag now right . Exactly [ laughter ] seth thanks so much for being here thanks for having me. Seth best of luck. Senator Michael Bennet, everybody. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause wherever you are. Whatever youre craving. And whenever youre craving it. Doordash has the restaurants you want. Delivered to your door. Wherever your door happens to be. Download doordash. The most restaurants across america. First order, 0 delivery fee. Glike an antigravity chair. Kohls. Or the amazon echo and get 10 kohls cash . Or a new fitbit. And get 30 kohls cash plus stack the savings with an extra 15 or 20 off . 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Call 1877onlyatt [ cheers and applause seth every wednesday and friday we release a podcast edition of late night so you can catch up on the go its audio from the show and includes a closer look, comedy bits, and guest interviews plus extra things exclusive for the podcast, like bonus backstage interviews, chats with the late night staff, original comedy sketches, and more. Head to latenightsethpodcast. Com to subscribe and its free, which is great. Were the slowskys. We like drip coffee, layovers and waiting on hold. What we dont like is relying on fancy technology for help. Snail mail we were invited to a y2k party. Uh, didnt that happen, like, 20 years ago . Oh, look, karolyn, weve got a mathematician on our hands check it out now you can schedule a callback or reschedule an appointment, even on nights and weekends. Todays xfinity service. Simple. Easy. Awesome. Id rather not. [ cheers and applause seth my thanks to aidy bryant, john waters thats senator Michael Bennet. Johnny radelat, everybody. 8g band. Stay tuned for carson daly. Well see you tomorrow [ cheers and applause