Wow, mom, thats a really originalah dont even worry about me. Ill be justugh ah my bra exploded. [upbeat news broadcast music] hey, greg. Greg . Oh, hi, katie. Were you just jumping out a window to avoid talking to me . No, of course not. I was just admiring the view of, uh, the local hobos having an ugliest penis pageant. So, whats up . Hey, is this about my moms ultimatum . I just need a little time to think. I know i owe you an answer, but im good for it, you hear . Cmon, katie, its your old pal greg. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Its fine. My moms not here. Lets just forget what she said. Really . Because this is important to me, its just a complicated situation with cat. Listen, you dont need to explain anything, ok . You just take as much time as you need to deal with our situation. cause im a chill girl. I love football and beer and twins. Yeah, and twins. That is a massive relief, because between this and the evil billionaire suing us, ive been really stressed out lately. So, thank you, katie. Really. Ugh, hey, any time, brah. [clicks tongue] in fact, im so chill, ima go smoke a big, fat blunt right now. You do drugs at work . Oh my god, no, ive never done drugs in my whole life. [upbeat music] hello, im Carol Wendelson, ready to take my career to the next level. Kelly and marykelly hired me. Okay, this is a morning show, so its already over. We tape at 9 00, so we get here at 4 30. 4 30 a. M. . Mmhmm. Thats crazy. Well, sure, i normally get up at 3 00, but then i gotta watch nine hours of tv. Look, can you just go buff the wine stains out of the upholstery for tomorrows show . Gosh, i was really hoping for a little bit more responsibility. I wanna get my career on the fast track. Well, theres no fast track here. We do have fast rats. Youll have to catch those. Okay, well, ive got some really good ideas. Look, i dont have time for this. Im gonna be late for the pitch meeting. Wait, if were going to a pitch meeting, i can just tell everyone my ideas there. Pas dont come to the pitch meeting. Stay in your lane, or youre fired. I hear you. Well, if this job doesnt work out, at least you and i will always be friends. Hi, im Katie Wendelson you and your bird boss need to sit down and shut up. Oh, im so sorry. Im exhausted. Its a terrible time to be an attorney for a news organization. Were constantly being sued. So youre used to this . Itll all blow over. Oh, sure, itll blow over just like your mom blew all over me last night. Hey. Again, im so sorry. When im tired, i can be very rude. Please, have a seat. So to answer your question, no, this is very bad. Fenton pelt is a vindictive billionaire, so if you wanna survive this, no more reporting on him or his companies. Wait, no. We cant give fenton pelt a free pass just because hes suing us. Besides, greg and i spent hours going over our reporting on smug meadow farms. The facts are on our side. [laughs] all right, i get it. Its 2018. Facts dont matter. Bill, listen to this. Say it again, just like you did. The facts are on our side. [crowd laughing] now make the bird guy say it. All right, all right, you made your point. Until this lawsuits over, fenton pelt is offlimits. [sighs] okay, what did i miss . Mr. Pierce, youre suspended. Youre not even supposed to be in the building. I only came in today to see if i could lend a hand with the lawsuit. Its certainly not because i dont know how to get my own lunch. [laughs] i mean, i know how to get it. But how do you make it get here . How do you have it . [tense music] attention, everyone. I know youre all worried about the lawsuit, but you guys are not gonna believe what our lawyer just said. He wants the show to lay off wait, were all getting laid off . No. Oh, god, i just spent 7,000 on a high tech tomato garden. Wait, whats a high tech tomato garden . Damn. Swindled again. No, imim im so sorry. The lawyer said to lay off fenton pelt. Im just trying to get you guys fired fired . No. Its all over lets start looting. Keep it uh, fired up. Fired up. [laughing] im trying to get you guys fired up. Why am i saying it like this . Okay, look. I know youre scared, but our job as journalists is to hold the powerful accountable. We have to show fenton pelt that we will not be silenced. Now, who is with me . Boo. Youre bombing up there. Well, its not a comedy act, so. Yeah, youre telling me. Right . [laughter] i heard your speech, and im in. Wait, really . But, chuck, youre suspended. Chuck pierce the anchor is suspended. Not chuck pierce the investigative reporter. You and i are gonna take fenton pelt down. Now, heres what i was thinking as a first move. We need to get lunch. We rbut we are not victims. Ack. We are survivors. We are survivors. We are survivors. And now we take brilinta. For people whove been hospitalized for a heart attack. We take brilinta with a baby aspirin. No more than one hundred milligrams. As it affects how well brilinta works. Brilinta helps keep platelets from sticking together and forming a clot. In a Clinical Study brilinta worked better than plavix®. Brilinta reduced the chance of another heart attack. Or dying from one. Dont stop taking brilinta without talking to your doctor,. Since stopping it too soon increases your risk of clots in your stent,. Heart attack, stroke, and even death. Brilinta may cause bruising or bleeding more easily,. Or serious, sometimes fatal bleeding. Dont take brilinta if you have bleeding, like stomach ulcers,. A history of bleeding in the brain, or severe liver problems. Slow heart rhythm has been reported. Tell your doctor about bleeding,. New or unexpected shortness of breath, any planned surgery, and all medicines you take. If you recently had a heart attack, ask your doctor about brilinta. My heart is worth brilinta. If you cant afford your medication, astrazeneca. May be able to help. Its time for some Straight Talk. Sign the contract and get a free smartphone. Oh, our lawyer does that every time i say free. Those free phones from the big carriers actually lock you into a pricey longterm contract. Tricky, guys. Tricky. With Straight Talk wireless, you can own an amazing new iphone 8 for just under 35 a month. No contract. Cancel anytime, no penalties. Why havent i switched . Get highspeed data that never runs out with the iphone 8 on americas best networks. Straight talk wireless. Only at walmart. On americas best networks. A return to my roots,ow, this is exactlas a journalist. Who cares if im not on tv anymore . This is where the real work happens. Here, in this grungy, junkie shootup den. Where are we . This is my office and im proud of it. So what are you up to, partner . Got any leads . [sighs] not really. Ive been rooting around the dark web. Theres a rumor that fenton pelt shot a lion, which is bad, but not illegal. Also, i think i sold my kidney to a guy in the ukraine. Well, a journalist is nothing without his sources, and luckily, i got the best in the biz. Watch and learn, katie. I know exactly who to call. My old friend, stan perkins, sec. Stan, i need everything you have on fenton pelt. Uhhuh. Really . I owe you one. Stan choked to death 14 years ago. No matter. Ill try my buddy jim mckenna, doj. Jim, chuckie pierce. Listen, i need some major intel on uh, yes, exactly. Iwhat . Uh, well, everything youve got. Uhhuh. Yeah, no, no, no. Im getting it. Oh, okay. Well, thats very interesting. And could you spell that . Slow down. Yeah, got it. Youre a lifesaver. Uhhuh. Yep. When asked for comment, the president said, the president went that way. Im just a little boy. Chuck . Portia, again, hes not here, so you have to read all the news. For like an hour . God, why cant people just read it themselves . Hey, thats actually a really good idea. What if we printed out the news for everyone . And we could organize it into sections so you only read the stories youre interested in. But how would we deliver it to everyone in the entire world . [gasps] teenagers on bikes. Portia, youre just inventing the newspaper. Oh, my god, why is this week so stressful . Although you seem pretty chill. I feel great. Talked to the lawyer. Theres a strategy in place. Talked to you, no immediate action necessary. Went to the vending machine. Took a chance on a new snack. Well, thats exactly what i want. cause, i mean, im super chill. So im really glad that youre not worrying about it. Oh, no, no. Me too. It is such a complicated situation. Totally. And i meant what i said, you know. You take your time. Take all the time. Eat it like the langoliers. [munching noise] not a stephen king fan . No, i am. You know, it might be fun if on sundays, there were little cartoons, and they were all really bad. Like, all of them. Like, every single one. Just not funny and bad. I love those soldier reunion videos. I think theyre so moving. What if, instead of having the soldier come home, we have his family surprise him on the frontlines . That is the smartest idea i have ever heard. [surprised laugh] okay, so if there are no more pitches, i think were all done. Or are we just Getting Started . And we can build this thing together standing strong forever hello, my name is Carol Wendelson, and i have some ideas for the show that i think youre gonna wanna hear. They say the newest ideas come from the oldest people, and that [music stops] what are you doing . Im never gonna get on the fast track if no one knows my ideas. And theyre good ones. As an older viewer, i bring a particular perspective that i think this show is missing. Okay, carol . Get out of here. Wait, i prepared a presentation. Let me show it. Um, okay, now wheres the thing . Can somebody get the tv to do this . You know, i think it should be on hpv2. I am so sorry about this. Ill get rid of her. [stammers] hang on a second. Lets hear carol out. She did this whole presentation, and she got all dressed up. Well, thank you. My blazer is from chicos urban menopause collection. Its reversible. [gasps] well, this might be the Perfect Moment to show you how it works. Let me see. Uhoh, im stuck. [groans] ooh, im twerking. You know what, i think carol is right. Really . The show could use your unique perspective. How would you like. Yes . To be. Yes . On television . Yes thank you. Im finally on the fast track. Thank you. Oh, gosh. Where have you been all day . Would you care to know the name of fenton pelts First Company . Pelt, incorporated . Yeah, how did you find that . I just googled it. What did you do . I drove to their offices. In canada. It took eleven hours. Chuck, youve been on tv for 30 years. There is no shame in admitting youre a little rusty at the reporter stuff. Please. Would someone whos rusty know to go to the Public Library and have a child volunteer help him print out this . Whoa, ive never seen this photo before. So what did you find . Heres the same photograph, but enlarged by 8,000 . Suddenly, it all kinda makes sense, doesnt it . Look at his head. Its a pile of little boxes. Dont you get it, katie . Boy, do i not. Fenton pelt is a little box man. Its been right in front of us the whole time. Okay, this is really bad. You need to go home. Home . I cant go home. Im having a weird maintenance issue. Every time i turn out the lights i hear this weird sound, like, boohoohoo, and then theres something leaking onto my face, and then a voice that says, who even am i . Wait a minute. There is something here. The guy next to fenton. Look at the caption. Fenton pelt and his Business Partner, anthony lyon. Pelt didnt shoot a lion. He shot a. Lyon. A person. This could be the key to everything. Of course. Pelt shot his Business Partner because he found out. No. That fenton pelt. Dont say it. Is a little box man. Introducing mcdonalds new 1 2 3 dollar menu. Id like the my wife is out of town and im in over my head meal. yelling sleep over sleep over sleep over sleep over sleep over . So you said 5 chicken mcnuggets happy meals and a classic chicken sandwich for 3 bucks each. Exactly. Guess you forgot to tell me it was a sleepover. No, you didnt tell me. Build whatever meal you want with favorites on mcdonalds new 1 2 3 dollar menu. with favorites on mcdonalds new 1 2 3 dollar menu. Its a new buick enclave. Whatfits up to seven people. Or. Poodles. Hes actually a bernedoodle. Were home. Lets go. That really makes it easy to unload all those little maniacs. Sure does. Hey honey, we should get one of those and have, like, a ton more kids. Love that. More kids. Wendy, is that a new suv . A new buick enclave. Uh huh. Looks like everybody likes our new enclave. Introducing the allnew buick enclave. Tomorrows suv for todays family. So you spent all your money bitcoins are about to go bust. Which means like most people this time of year, youre broke. Introducing value jacks way. Five great ways to save, including four Crispy Chicken nuggets for 1, jacks oneofakind breakfast pockets for 2 each, three of my famous tacos and a small drink for 3, two breakfast croissants for 4, or the bonus jack combo, now just 5. Its like i tell jack jr. , its all about big value, jr. Prices. Thats value jacks way. They may not open their businesses or files to ice agents. It comes admist reports of ice raids in california and political backlash from our new status as a sanctuary state. Also the waves near Half Moon Bay were so powerful today they tossed two men off a small boat who were watching the surfers. We tweeted a photo. Greg, i think i found a lead that could save the show. Are you blowing bubbles . No, im practicing bubble tricks. This one is called the big kahuna. Listen, greg. Twenty years ago, fenton pelt had a Business Partner named anthony lyon. Pelt allegedly shot him, but i just found medical records showing that the guy survived. If we could find him, and get him to talk but our lawyer specifically said not to investigate fenton pelt. Who cares . This could take him down for good. So im gonna need all hands on deck, okay . Im talking wayne, gene, other katie. Other katie . Yeah, you know, the other katie that everyone is always making fun of when i walk into a conversation. [gasps] im other katie. Hang on, lets just take some time to think. This is a complicated situation. Ah, you know, youve been saying that a lot lately, greg. Excuse me . Sorry, i dont understand whats so complicated about it. If you keep needing time to think about the story, eventually the storys gonna be like, what is your deal, man . Wait, what are we talking about . Were talking about the story, greg. Were talking about the super chill story. Greg, you got a minute . I think i have a lead that could save the show. Chuck, please dont show him the photo. Relax, i know that was nothing. I was tired, and hungry, and grasping at straws. But i took a page from your book, katie. I did some research online. And something pretty major came back. If you rearrange the letters in fenton pelt, you know what you get . Ten, ten, flop. You a poker player, greg . Yes, and thats meaningless. Well, if these last two days have taught me anything, its this i need to be on television. I cant do anything else. I cant be a journalist. I cant get my lunch. I cant go back to the library because i borrowed too many cds. But i can be on television. And thats something no one else can do. You cant just put any idiot on tv. Guess whos on tv. Me carol, did you say you were on television . Yes. Im featured onair talent on morning wined up. I joined the guild. There was already a Carol Wendelson, so i had to register as john Carol Wendelson. When were you on tv . This morning. Its okay, though, if you missed it, because ill be on again tomorrow. But. Me, famous anchor. You, local fool. [blubbers] carol, we missed you. Can you start my zipper . I can finish it, but i need you to start it. Carol, can you finish my zipper . I can start it, but i cant why dont you guys just help each other . Both we like how carol does it. You know, we have a new pa on the show. Carol, come on out here. Hi, carol. This is carol. Arent you cute . Now, we sent carol to see the new star wars. Carol, whatd you think of the movie . Well, i thought it was very scary. Oh, scary . Okay, what part . Well, when the words jumped out at me at the beginning. I cant read that fast. Thats why i always miss my exit on the highway. [laughter] all right, did you like the movie . It was okay, i guess. But there was so much fighting, and i didnt like that kylie renner. Anyway, overall, i give it a five stars up. [laughs] well, carol, since you Like Star Wars so much, we thought you might like to be in star wars. What . Ah [laughter] oh, god. Theyre making fun of her. Oh, boy, darth vader touched my butt. Ugh. I have to tell her. Something inside me has always been there. But now its awake. The force is yours. The last jedi ar stickers only on the google pixel camera. Keep it comin love. If you keep on eating, well keep it comin. All you can eat riblets and tenders at applebees. Now thats eatin good in the neighborhood. Trusted battery for your sons favorite toy . T maybe not. Maybe, you could trust he wouldnt leave the upstairs water running. woman screams or, you could just trust duracell. Work hard play hard work hard play hard work work relax harder with the real ginger taste of canada dry. When better chickens are hatched, we will hatch them. Its why all of the tyson chicken that bears his name will be raised with no antibiotics ever. Every nugget, strip and drumstick. Keep it real. Keep it tyson. As a meteor headsnderway toward the metro area. Go, go, go, go, go we can fit more theres still more room we gotta go. Juicer we dont have a juicer the volkswagen tiguan. It fits everything you need, and everything you dont. Hey, katie. How did you know which dressing room was mine . Well, it says carol in this big star on your door. I know, i just wanted you to say it. I watched you on the show. You did. I knew you were watching. Okay. Um, mom. Theyre making fun of you. What . Why would you say that . Because its true, mom. Youre like their little prop. Like chuy on chelsea lately, or guillermo on jimmy kimmel, or little rusty, the dummy that belonged to the ventriloquist i dated throughout all of college. Uhhuh. Im having success for the first time in my life and you cant find one nice thing to say about it. Im finally doing more than just making copies. But i thought that you wanted to be taken seriously. Im just trying to keep you from embarrassing yourself. Are you . Well, i think someones been keeping her feelings bottled up all week, and now shes lashing out at me, instead of the person shes really mad at. No, i am not, greg. You know what . Forget it. Hey, so good news. Mike tyson has agreed to fight you. Hey, im sorry i was so weird yesterday. I got you an extra cappuchichi. Hey, im sorry i was so weird just now. Dont worry about it. Thank you. By the way, did you get a chance to go over the anthony lyon stuff . Yes, i thought about it, and i made a decision. Then i was like, hang on a second, are you sure . And you know what . What . I wasnt. For the love of god, greg, what is wrong with you . [whispers] we kissed a week ago, and you just keep saying how complicated everything is. And its not that complicated. You know what is complicated . Prison reform, all math, my feelings on channing tatum. Is he hot or is he sloth from goonies . Are you asking me, or im not a chill girl, greg. I hate football and beer and twins. Just decide. Okay . Ill be fine either way, but im not waiting around forever. Is this an ultimatum . I dont know. Maybe it is. Maybe my mom was right. [panting] chuck going crazy. Justin forgot panting medication. [suspenseful music] chuck, is everything okay in there . Hey, guys, youre just in time for the show. Thats right. Im going on Facebook Live to tell the world everything i know about fenton pelt. But chuck, you have nothing. This will be the end of your career. Oh, nothing . Little box man . Ten, ten, flop . And a couple of other things i was worried youd think were crazy. But the only thing that matters is that chuck pierce is back on the air, on the chuck news network. I already got a logo and a theme song. [sings theme song] when news breaks, chuck pierce is there. Where . Here, with his cohost, johnny chair. And no one on sports. Chuck we have to stop him. We cant. But i know someone who can. So were doing my idea for a segment on dating in your 60s . Uh, yeah, kinda. Okay, and can we get carol in the booth, please . This is gonna be good. We have fun. [laughter] we are back in three, two okay, carol. The first lucky gent taking his turn at the kissing booth is enrique iglesias. What . The spanish pond turtle. Oh, my god. [laughter] katie was right. We cant get her now. Shes on the air. What do we do . As much as i would like to kiss this surprisingly attractive turtle, theres something that i would like to say. Well, this ought to be good. I came to this show to prove to the world that Carol Wendelson is worth something. That im a serious career woman, like my professional heroes barbara walters, jane pauley, Supreme Court justice ruth baby ginger, and the great newsman, chuck pierce. Wait, justin, patch the mmn feed into chucks office. Five, four, three. Chuck pierce would never sacrifice his dignity for a cheap shot at fame. He doesnt need the world to tell him he has value. Because he believes in himself. And i need to do the same. Im getting off the fast track. And im getting on the right track. Which is why i quit. What . Carol, no, no, no, no, no. Where are you going . No, carol, we love you oh, my goodness, that is a strut. She means business. Shes coming back. Both thank god. This is chuck pierce breaking down. [triumphant music] hey, i want you to know, i heard you. Im gonna make it right. [elevator bell rings] [applause] yay. Wow, thanks everyone. Todays my first day at the breakdown. Wasnt expecting the welcome wagon. My names jason, and my favorite sport is jousting. Get out of here, man. Okay . Mom . Im not getting out. But we all thought you were coming back. Im sorry, pumpkin, but you were right. They didnt take me seriously at morning wined up, but if im being honest, nobody here did either. I tried my best. But this career stuff just didnt work out. Thank you all very much. [lively music] well, like i said, im excited to be here. I just found this on his name is mr. Sprinkles. We think he would be a very good firefighter mascot. [siren wailing] you need anything, day or night, 24 7, you call me. Girl tries to steal drugs, maybe youre getting snowed. Shes gone shes not at the hospital, shes not at the apartment. I know how you feel about the way im handling this. It doesnt matter how i feel. Youre gonna do whatever youre gonna do anyway. You know, theres that stretch of milwaukee avenue where i see teens in those encampments. You know a girl named bria . No, i dont think so. [dramatic music]