Wait, did you say the 57th letter was an n . [ laughter ] this years macys thanksgiving day parade featured 17 balloons. It was going to be 18 but then olaf was hit with Sexual Harassment allegations. [ laughter and applause ] sick. Photos were released yesterday of First Lady Melania Trump decorating the white house for the holidays. Though im not sure a rope ladder counts as a decoration. [ laughter ] its a its a custom in my country. [ laughter ] President Trump tweeted yesterday quote, 51 million americans to travel this weekend, highest number in 12 years, traffic and airports are running very smoothly. And then he tweeted, now lets throw it over to kevin with sports [ laughter ] a new poll has found that about a third of americans are dreading discussing politics at this years thanksgiving. And some dread talking about it every day. [ laughter and applause ] newsweek has rated crescent rolls as the worst thanksgiving side dish. [ light laughter ] looks like newsweek burned the rolls. Oh, oh no, the rolls oh, no [ light laughter ] oh, noooo [ laughter and applause ] oh, i burned the rolls again. [ laughter ] im a fantastic actor. [ laughter ] npr published an article this week urging people to incorporate frank discussions about end of life care with elderly family members this thanksgiving. [ laughter ] you know in case someone brings up trump and you want to change the topic to something less depressing. [ laughter and applause ] guys, come on, lets [ applause ] lets not talk politics, guys. Grandpa, when are you going to die . [ laughter ] a retired Alabama Police officer recently said that police were told in the 1970s to keep roy moore away from high school cheerleaders. Do you know how creepy you had to be for people to think you were too creepy in the 1970s . [ laughter ] thats the decade when people were okay with this. [ audiences ohs ] and finally the Dallas Cowboys added a special concession item for their thanksgiving game, featuring a texasshaped waffle made of stuffing that is topped with turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans, gravy and cranberries. So now fans can also take a knee. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a fantastic show for you tonight. [ cheers and applause ] we are continuing year four of a thanksgiving tradition. Our guests tonight are my parents, hilary and larry meyers, as well as my brother josh. We are [ cheers and applause ] so excited to be spending our holiday with you. And were going to clear the air which i think is what families should do on thanksgiving. So another tradition, were in year two of this, my son ashe, i would love to say that hes going to be here tonight but this is way past his bedtime. So last year we dressed him up like a turkey and we shot a video of him and my dog frisbee dressed like a pilgrim and we decided a years passed, we should just do that again. So enjoy. [ audience aws ] seth and any parent yeah, give it up for ashe, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] and anyone whos ever been a parent knows that if he was doing this, i was doing that right behind the camera. [ laughter ] you guys, im in my 40s now. Im married with a kid. But nothing makes me feel older than when i realize i no longer understand the teen slang terms that are being used in high schools. And it seems like these days teen slang terms are evolving so fast its impossible to keep up. So since many of you are about to be forced to talk to your teenage cousins on thanksgiving weekend, we here at late night decided as a service to give you a little primer on the new teen slang terms in a segment we call seth explains teen slang thanksgiving edition. [ cheers and applause ] seth how seth explains teen slang, weve only done this a thousand times. [ light laughter ] our first thanksgiving [ laughter ] our first thanksgiving teen slang term is potluck. Its when nobody has enough marijuana, so you mix it together. [ laughter and applause ] for example, none of my cousins had enough weed to pack the bowl so we all emptied out our bags, combined them together, and blazed up. Potluck. Thanksgivingmiracle. [ laughter and applause ] moving on. Its klanberry sauce. Lets see what it means. Its a relative who adds a little racist flavor to thanksgiving dinner. [ laughter ] for example, dinner was going well until grandma said, im rooting for the redskins tonight but only because i like their name. Klanberrysauce. Next its roy moore. Roy moore is an adult who tries to sit at the kids table. [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] for example, uncle randy is such a roy moore, i told him to sit at the adults table and he got so mad he stormed out and drove to the mall. [ laughter ] next we have hanksgiving. The feeling of being grateful that tom hanks is such a good guy. [ laughter and applause ] for example, every day theres a new movie or tv show that i cant watch anymore, but at least we still have sleepless in seattle. Happyhanksgiving. [ cheers and applause ] up next its mournicopia. Its when your grandma wont stop listing every person in town who died this year. [ laughter ] for example, according to nana, 80 of louisville took a fall outside kroger and passed away on impact. [ laughter ] she a mournicopia. [ laughter ] moving on, its Plymouth Rock bottom. Heres the definition. When you run out of liquor on thanksgiving and have to improvise. [ laughter ] lets see it in a sentence. The liquor cabinet was bone dry so i hit Plymouth Rock bottom and made a martini out of purell and olive juice. [ audience ews ] this next thanksgiving teen slang term is very, very popular among teens who listen to public radio. [ light laughter ] its called all wings considered. [ laughter ] it means when the turkey is so dry it should have its own show on npr. [ laughter and applause ] for example, moms turkey was so overcooked this year, i had to carve it with this american knife. [ laughter ] also, the giblet gravy was terry gross. [ laughter ] allwingsconsidered. [ applause ] moving on. Our next teen slang term is macys thanksgiving day parade. Heres the definition. Your bloated gasfilled relatives who hover in the air during thanksgiving. [ laughter ] for example, dont go to the kitchen, my huge cousins are floating around the leftovers and they ate too much bean salad. Macysthanksgivingdayparade. [ applause ] next up is yam, daniel. [ laughter ] this is to express appreciation or envy of someone elses thanksgiving plate. [ light laughter ] for example, i saw my cousin walking back to the table with three pounds of turkey, a huge scoop of stuffing, an entire sweet potato, and a cubic yard of green bean casserole and i was like, yam, daniel [ laughter and applause ] this next one has really taken off with the teens. Its pilgrim. Heres the definition. When someone goes to their girlfriends home for the first time and brings disease. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] feeling guilty . [ laughter ] for example, todds a real pilgrim, he showed up at my house for thanksgiving dinner and gave everyone smallpox. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, our last thanksgiving teen slang term is speed gracer. Someone who speeds through the prayer before dinner. Lets see it in a sentence. Dad had a long, thoughtful speech prepared but the rest of us were relieved when the speed gracer uncle jeff said, god is neat, hes no dummy, lets freakin eat and fill our tummy. [ laughter and applause ] that was seth explains teen slang thanksgiving edition. Well be right back with a Meyers Family thanksgiving [ cheers and applause ] christmas marching band music drumsticks click thats the new rockstar. Hurry in to old navy for up to seventyfive percent off storewide thats up to seventyfive percent off and this tuesday only, get fifty percent off all jeans at old navy. Feel the power of thenew power. Smax. To fight back theraflus powerful new formula to defeat 7 cold and flu symptoms. Fast. So you can play on. Theraflu expressmax. New power. Give extra. Get extra. From far away. But they harryonly see his wrinkles. If only harry used some. Bounce, to dry. He would be a less wrinkly, winning guy. Fortified. Tored. Replenished. Emerge everyday with emergenc packed with b vitamins, antioxidants, electrolytes plus more vitamin c than 10 oranges. Why not feel this good everyday . Emerge and see. At kohls after christmas sale your kohls cash featuring up to 70 off clearance take up to 70 off family sleepwear outerwear, sweaters and fleece plus shop our white sale for big savings on bed and bath and take an extra 15 off kohls. Like when you finally get it mahome from the storeeasy. But forgot that one thing. Just say, hey google, buy dog food. It knows that was a disaster, and this ones you fav. And while youre doing that, it can do this okay. Ordered coffee. And when you dont want to share everything with your family. [sneezing] reordering gummy vitamins. And you even get free delivery from here here here and lots of other places with google express. Google home and google home mini, now starting at 29. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. Give it up to the 8g band right over there [ cheers and applause ] thankful every night to have them with us and also this whole week, ive been so thankful to have fred back on the show. How are you, fred . [ cheers and applause ] fred awe, hi seth. Seth so fred, we talk a lot about when you come back on the show, all the things you have going on. I do sometimes worry that you are trying to impress me with the things that you claim to have going on. And that theyre not true. [ laughter ] i just want you to know, especially on tonight, a holiday where were thankful for our friendship, that you should know our friendship is Strong Enough that you dont have to lie to me. Fred okay. [ laughter ] seth well, alright, black fridays coming up. And i heard you saying backstage that you have some doorbuster sales and that everyone should come on down. What is it that youre selling . Fred yes. Please, guys, come on down. Ive got crossword puzzles, all kinds. Crossword puzzles from this week from last week from monday [ laughter ] ive got all kinds of crossword puzzles. Some of them are solved. Some of them are partially solved. We got some from tuesday. From saturday some of them from different newspapers around the country these are great. Please come on down. Theyre five dollars each. And theres just a sheet of paper and its crossword puzzles. Please, please come on down. [ laughter ] seth okay, thats great. Thats fantastic. But the thing i would say is most people just get the newspaper and the crossword puzzles in there. They dont actually have to, you know, go buy the crossword puzzle separately. Fred right. But this is we do away with the whole newspaper. [ laughter ] you dont have to have all of that clutter. This is like right to the point. Its just a crossword puzzle. Seth thats great. You mention monday, tuesday, and saturday. Were those the only days . Fred those are the only days. Seth whats the name of your crossword puzzle store called . The puzzlearium. Seth the puzzlearium. And where are you located . Fred at best buy. Seth okay, great. [ laughter ] give it up for fred armisen, everybody [ cheers and applause ] my guests tonight are three of my favorite people in the world. Please welcome back to the show for their annual thanksgiving day appearance, my mother hillary, my father larry and my brother josh everybody. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] seth all right, mom, its the holidays. Do you want a cocktail . No, not yet. Seth you really dont want one . No. Seth do you guys want one yet . Yeah. Yeah. Seth okay, great. Why are you waiting . If you feel like youll be too jittery . Yeah. Seth will you pass them over . Do you think you can do that . No, i cant. I got them. Seth okay, great. I want to talk about another thing that happened this year. Yes. Seth recently about a month ago yeah. Seth where i thought you might be too jittery. But you kept your cool. We went and saw Bruce Springsteen on broadway. Bruce springsteen, the boss. Seth yeah. [ cheers and applause ] the best. The best. Seth it was a birthday present. It was a birthday present. Seth then afterwards, we got to say hi to Bruce Springsteen. And i dont know why i thought that wouldnt happen. But i didnt think it would happen. Seth youre supposed to not think its going to happen. Its a surprise. But sometimes thats where shes at in her life right now. Seth yeah. If she didnt meet him, it might have been like, oh, bummer. Seth but you did and you took a picture. And dad, i have a question because im going to show the picture of mom and Bruce Springsteen. Has mom ever looked that happy with you . [ laughter ] [ applause ] can i hold it up a second . Seth yeah, yeah sure. A little closer no. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] and i have to say, it was really nice, because i wasnt going to ask for a picture. And you were not going to ask for a picture. No. Seth and we said hello. We were walking out, and his beautiful and talented wife patty. Patty said seth bruce, you have to take a picture with seths mom. Right. Seth and then you repaid her by getting real handsy with Bruce Springsteen. And theres another picture though where hes actually smooching me. Seth really . Yeah. I dont know if i saw that one. At your wedding you guys for the, like, mother son dance seth yeah. Sang an unusual song. Seth we our first dance, not our first dance. So seth no, for you. For you. I came for you. Seth yeah and it was nice. Its not a very common first dance. No, it was like a jitterbug dance. And people didnt expect that. Seth no, well, there was a lot that they didnt expect from our wedding. So another thing i want to say, we showed a video of ashe. A couple of years ago on this show, we announced that we were having ashe. Right. Seth so i want to take this opportunity now. You guys obviously know. My wife and i are expecting a second [ cheers and applause ] and very excited, thank you [ cheers and applause ] very excited. So i have to say, i get the phone call. And my seth is sometimes a crier. Seth yeah. Quite a bit. Quite a bit. Okay. So hes crying on the phone. And he says and he cant catch his breath. Hes like sobbing. And i said, what . What happened . Are you okay . He said, no, no. Its wonderful news. Its wonderful news. I said, what is it . He said, were going to have another baby. I said, thats fabulous. Why are you crying . He said, because for over a month, ive had to pretend that i dont care what sex it is. And i do care, i want a little boy so we can be soofy and poshy. [ audience aws ] seth thats true. I really wanted a brother for my son. For ashe. Seth because i was so lucky to have one. [ audience aws ] theyve always been the best of friends. Two years apart. Thats exactly what ashe and albert are going to be. Right . Seth now okay. So you [ laughter ] because we are not we have not decided on a name. But dad, explain why you feel so strongly about albert. Well, for the old sweats that have been here every year, we had five sheepdogs. And theyre all named albert. We have albert five. [ laughter ] and i really love the dog. And i always wonder what it would sound like if it could talk. [ laughter ] but i never hear like a voice, like on a cartoon or a movie or a child that thats what albert would sound like. So i figure if they name the kid albert, eventually hell start to talk. And ill say, oh yeah. Thats it. And, this is a little bit sad on thanksgiving. But the kids going to outlive the dog. Seth yeah. And so if i have its like pinocchio. You know, he becomes the real the dog becomes a real boy. Seth right. Everything works out. Seth yeah. Its great. Seth thats great. You know my wife. Do you think this will be a tough sell . Well we have one advantage. Right. She is big on the a. I know its going to be an a name. Seth yeah. Right. Seth can i tell you the fact that its been five of our dogs names has eliminated it from [ laughter ] you can tell us that. But it doesnt mean we have to stop hoping for it. Thats true. And by the way, i have another son, who knows, someday, if that doesnt work out seth hypothetically if you had a child would albert be eliminated as a possibility . Albert was my name in her french class. Thats right. I think its a great name. It is a great name. Hillarys voting for bruce by the way. Seth so i want to ask about this. Because right now, you know, ashe is still young so its hard to tell what hes inherited from me and what not. Dad, would you say, has a temper, josh . Oh, god, yeah. Seth maybe an irrational temper . Its the worst thing weve inherited from him. Seth yeah cause you and i both have the same similar sort of irrational temper. Yeah, i think we go into it sort of looking back at our childhood and thinking like, how can we not have this come out . Seth yeah. But its like an evil beast that lives within us. Seth heres the good news, though. This is never a temper that was aimed at us. It was aimed at inanimate objects. Do you have a favorite . There was a hotel i think in florida, might have been florida, might have been somewhere in the caribbean, where he stubbed his toe on a table. Like a bamboo leg table with a glass top. He got in a legit fight with it. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] and it was like we had just checked in. We were like, we might have to get rid of these people. Seth i remember it happening and him turning to the table with his fist up. And like the other day i came home. And i was like picking up a box. And i put it on the kitchen counter. And i hurt my finger. And i was like, goddamn it i punch the box and that hurt. And my girlfriend was there, she was like, what happened . Which you cant really explain i put it down. And it hurt my finger. And then i punched it, hurt again. She like laughs at me when i get angry and says i look like a rooster, because my hair goes like this. [ laughter ] which i get. Seth it did look like a rooster. You cant look angry. So it always cracked her up which also doesnt do well for my anger. Yeah. But i think its such a good approach to irrational anger that you witness. Seth yeah. And i know like ashe is going to see this in you. Seth yeah. At some point. How he sort of reacts to it i think will be interesting. Seth yeah. Im going to try better. Absolutely. Seth yeah. Again, we got to try better. Seth we got to try better. Good luck, boys. Good luck. Seth yeah. Before we go to our next commercial, we were trying to shoot that video of ashe. And there was one extra thing. We were trying to get ashe to dance. We played his favorite song. So please enjoy ashe and beyonce. Dance, ashe. No. Yes. Yeah. [ laughter ] yes. Seth when we come back the Meyers Family is going to clear the air. Thanks for being with us, everybody [ cheers and applause ] what are you doing . I dont need all this. Mucinex fastmax can handle pretty much every symptom. Name one. How about nine . Even. Yea, i can read. Were done here. Mucinex fastmax. 9 symptoms. 1 dose. Max strength. Lets end this. Resolution 1 binge more. Join the uncarrier, and get four unlimited lines for only forty bucks each. Plus, netflix for the whole family. On us. So, they get their shows. Lets go, girl youre gonna love this bit and you get yours. Watch however you want. On your phone, tablet, or tv. For just forty bucks per line. With no extra charges. Lets rock this joint all on americas best unlimited network, tmobile. It all comes down to this. The energizer bunny™ gets the snap hes still going [crowd cheering] nothing outlasts energizer® ultimate lithium™. Studying to be a dentist and she gave me advice. She said dad. Go pro with crest prohealth. 4 out of 5 dentists confirm these crest prohealth products. Help maintain a professional clean. And its the only toothpaste with the ada seal of acceptance for protection against acid erosion. This s electricity. This is a power plant. This is tim barckholtz. Thats me this is something he is researching at exxonmobil using fuel cells to capture Carbon Emissions at power plants. This is the potential. Reducing co2 emissions by up to 90 . While also producing more power. This could be big. Energy lives here. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back to the show. Thanksgiving is a time to reflect, celebrate, and most importantly, gather with your family. Now my family lives in all different parts of the country so thanksgiving is one of the few times we all get together in one place. Like all families weve had some conflicts over the years. And because of that i thought it would be a good idea to sit down as a family and make amends for past transgressions weve committed against one another. In a segment were calling together the Meyers Family clears the air. [ cheers and applause ] seth ill start. Mom . Yes, seth . Seth im sorry that sometimes it takes me a day or two to return your text messages. Sometimes things on the show just get really busy. Do you forgive me . Im your mother, seth. What could be more important than texts from me . Yeah, shes your mother. Seth do you respond immediately to all her texts . Absolutely, i love her. I love you, mom. I love you, too. Seth i love you, too. Do you . [ laughter ] seth look, mom. Im really sorry. Do you forgive me . Mom . [ laughter ] oh. Im sorry. I was going to take two days to respond. [ cheers and applause ] seth mom seth, you are forgiven. [ laughter ] my turn. Seth . Seth yes, mom. When you were little, do you remember that time when you got home from school and all your baseball cards were gone . Seth yeah. You accidentally threw them away. I didnt. I sold them. Seth for what . Remember that beautiful trip to paris that we all went on . Seth no, that was just you and mom, we stayed with our cousins. The weird ones. Oh, right. Well, your father and i had a wonderful time. It was very passionate. [ light laughter ] very passionate. We received some noise complaints. [ light laughter ] seth i dont need to hear that. I dont mind. I think its beautiful. Anyway, seth. Do you forgive me . Seth mom, you are forgiven. My turn. Dad . Yes, josh . Im sorry that on fathers day this year i got you five gifts instead of one. [ laughter ] it was just really hard to decide between them, and because i love you so much and really youre such a great father, i got you all five gifts. Im sorry if opening all those presents was annoying. Seth and im sorry josh is such a kissass. Seth, how many gifts did you get dad . One. Seth i got you a lexus. [ laughter ] yeah, thats one. Anyway, dad, do you forgive me for getting you five presents . Josh, i forgive you. My turn. Seth. Seth yes, dad . This ones hard for me to say. But i i feel i should just get it off my chest. Seth what is it . Your mom and i are sorry that we dont watch your show. [ laughter ] seth you dont watch my show . Never. Seth youve never watched it . Well, does tonight count . Seth no. Then no. Not once. Seth well, i guess i understand, its on late. Oh, no, were up. [ laughter ] yeah, were real night owls lately. Seth wait, then why dont you watch my show . We really enjoy showtime. And all those programs like shameless. Thats a great family. Ray donovan. Homeland. Billions. Dont forget smilf. Yeah, and smilf. [ light laughter ] every night at 12 35 i say to your mother, do you know what time it is . And she says, its showtime [ laughter ] seth, do you forgive us for not watching the show . Seth mom, dad, you are forgiven. Mom, dad, josh and i have something to apologize to the both of you about. Okay. Last thanksgiving dinner, seth and i were both high on ecstasy. Seth well, technically josh was on ecstasy and i was on molly. Josh, is that why you said, this turkey tastes like gods love . That is exactly why i said that. And seth is why that you screamed, im so high on molly right now [ laughter ] seth that is exactly why i said that. [ laughter ] are you two proud of yourselves . Well it felt [ bleep ] fantastic. [ laughter ] seth do you forgive us . Seth, josh, you are forgiven. Seth, josh, we have something wed like to apologize to you two about. Seth okay. Both myself and your mother are currently on ecstasy. [ laughter ] well, technically, your fathers on moon rocks and i just dropped a little bit of acid. [ laughter ] seth okay. You guys are high right now . Its the only way we can get through your show. [ laughter ] how do you feel . We feel [ bleep ] fantastic. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] seth this has been the Meyers Family clears the air stay tuned for more. [ wind howling } [ screaming ] [ gasp ] people who need help with hauntings, come to me. But this house, is my familys house. Im gonna find it and im gonna finish it. Elise, theres someone right in front of you. I dont see anything. [ screaming ] insidious the last key. Rated pg13. Let out your inner child at the lexus december to remember sales event. Lease the 2017 rx 350 for 399 a month for 36 months. Experience amazing at your lexus dealer. Gives skin the moisture it needs and keeps it there longer with lockin Moisture Technology skin is petal smooth after all, a cleansers just a cleanser unless its olay. Daddy did you get my surprise . Its the Little Things that make life rich. Ritz. Thats the new rockstar. Hurry in to old navy for up to seventyfive percent off storewide thats up to seventyfive percent off and this tuesday only, get fifty percent off all jeans at old navy. Let out your inner child at the lexus december to remember sales event. Lease the 2017 is turbo for 299 a month for 36 months. Experience amazing at your lexus dealer. Prices of the season on the only bed that adjusts on both sides to your ideal comfort your sleep number setting. And snoring . Does your bed do that . Its the lowest prices of the season on the queen c4 mattress with adjustable comfort on both sides. Now only 1199, save 400. Plus, 24 month financing available. Ends monday. Visit sleepnumber. Com for a store near you. christmas marching band music drumsticks click if yyou need to stay downeaway from it. Call 911. Let our First Responders come out and handle it. Police and fire will respond as well as pg e. Pg e will make the scene safe. And you smell gas, your first step is to get out, travel to a safe distance until you cant smell the gas anymore, and then call 911. The First Responders will come out, and theyll make it safe for you and your community. [ cheers and applause ] seth real quick, obviously ive announced were going to have a second child, its going to be a son. Dad, what do you think . Two, keep going, stop . My philosophy was, two hands, two kids. Seth thats it. That was it. Seth if you cant handle more no, that was the most i could handle. Seth okay, gotcha. I think you did a really good job. I thought so too. [ light laughter ] seth all right, guys. We cleared the air, but there was something i want to say it was about ten years ago now, that was a genuine clearing the air that sort of happened at a dinner where it was just the four of us. First lets talk about petey the rabbit. Who would like to explain what kind of rabbit petey was . Well, it was poshys rabbit so he should start. Petey was a girl. But my father had a pet not a pet. A stuffed animal. Stuffed animal. Rabbit named petey when he was growing up and he talked about it a lot. Yeah. Which was weird. Seth yes. So when i got a rabbit, i named her petey. And rabbits smell terribly. Seth yeah. In their little hutches. We kept her in a hutch in the garage. Wed bring her out and shed bounce around the house and always try to run away. Thats what she wanted to do. But i loved her. Yeah. Seth how old were you on the fateful day . I dont i dont know. I think i think maybe 7. And he was 9. Seth okay. Yeah, Something Like that. Seth all right, so so what happened was, poshy came upstairs and he said, petey is in the cutest position, youve got to come down and see him. So, i went down. And the position was rigor mortis. Seth yeah. This was the position. [ laughter ] so, this one, this one says to seth, take seth seth i can tell you, he says to me, i dont i feel weird around dead things. Right. And he thinks youre fine with it. Seth yeah, so he says because you you would touch anything. Seth thats true but i feel like you were encouraging me to be a serial killer. Because you said, im weird with dead things. You have to go bury petey. Again, i was 9. Right. And they dont call New Hampshire the Granite State for nothing. Seth and it was the winter. And it was january, and it was about 20 below zero. Seth also so, they so josh was crying. You guys gave me a shoe box and told me to go bury petey. Based on the rigor mortis, there was no way of getting peteys legs into the box. Thats a technicality. Seth technicality. First, like, before we know any of that, we theres like a rock that youve put down as a headstone, and we go out and we go out and have a ceremony. Yes. So i say i say petey is buried, i put a rock, a headstone, we come out. And it was like, in like, a trail where we would always sled, wed always have to build up a snow bank so we didnt go over peteys grave. And mom would walk by it. And then were at this dinner and youre like seth yeah, like, like 15 years later, were drinking, having a fun time, laughing about the past. And i say, hey, you guys, want to hear something funny . I didnt bury petey. I threw petey in the garbage. [ laughter ] it was a real a real dagger. Seth it was so i thought everybody would burst out laughing and nobody did at all. [ laughter ] yeah, it was a daggers. Seth it was daggers, yeah. Just daggers. There was yeah,yeah. Like, you couldnt get the shovel into the ground. You explained it very well. Seth that was the thing, i was 9 years old, it was freezing, and i couldnt get any dirt up. All i could think was all petey ever wanted to do was run away the worst thing to do would be bury her on the property. [ light laughter ] that is true. Seth i put her in a truck and i said, go, petey. But i thought about the fact for 20 years when i had to go from one point to another. I would have to walk around that rock. And ive felt so stupid. I didnt feel stupid asking you to bury it when you were 9 years old. In frozen granite ground in New Hampshire. But i did feel stupid Walking Around that rock for 20 years. Seth well, thank you, guys, for forgiving me for that. Hey, to petey. A drink to petey. Cheers. Seth and we will be back with more of these guys. [ cheers and applause ] this is google home mini. It makes shopping super easy. Like when you finally get home from the store but forgot that one thing. Just say, hey google, buy dog food. It knows that was a disaster, and this ones you fav. And while youre doing that, it can do this okay. Ordered coffee. And when you dont want to share everything with your family. [sneezing] reordering gummy vitamins. And you even get free delivery from here here here and lots of other places with google express. Google home and google home mini, now starting at 29. At kohls after christmas sale your kohls cash featuring up to 70 off clearance take up to 70 off family sleepwear outerwear, sweaters and fleece plus shop our white sale for big savings on bed and bath and take an extra 15 off kohls. Pain from a headache whcan make this. Ld,. Feel like this. Allinone cold symptom relief from tylenol®, the 1 doctor recommended pain relief brand. Tylenol®. Packing to the last minute. Guys, i have a couple of things to wash we got this. Even on quick cycle, tide pods cleans great 6x the cleaning power, even in the quick cycle its got to be tide ladies and gentleman this is a robbery. What are you doing after this . But when we brought our daughter home, that was it. Now i have nicoderm cq. The nicoderm cq patch with unique extended release Technology Helps prevent your urge to smoke all day. Its the best thing that ever happened to me. Every great why needs a great how. Resolution 1 binge more. Join the uncarrier, and get four unlimited lines for only forty bucks each. Plus, netflix for the whole family. On us. So, they get their shows. Lets go, girl youre gonna love this bit and you get yours. Watch however you want. On your phone, tablet, or tv. For just forty bucks per line. With no extra charges. Lets rock this joint all on americas best unlimited network, tmobile. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back. Its time once again for popsicle schtick. [ laughter ] seth for those of you who dont know, popsicle schtick is a bit where my writers come up with bad jokes and then try to save those jokes with what they call kickass graphics. Dad, is it safe to say this is your least favorite thing we do on our show . If i could get showtime on that monitor, id watch it right now. [ laughter ] seth we thought it would be really fun to share it with you tonight. So, here we go. Popsicle schtick with larry meyers commentary who are Dwayne Johnsons favorite dancers . The rockettes popsicle schtick [ laughter ] when i think of the money i put into your education to end up here. Try again. Seth lets get him with the next one. Okay. Oh, theres another one . Sorry. Seth next up, whats a turkeys biggest Environmental Concern . Gobble warming. Its a lot of popsicle schtick i apologize to america. And all of you people that are here tonight on thanksgiving. Seth i think were going to win you over with this next one. Okay. Seth whats a dentists favorite day to shop . Plaque friday. [ laughter ] oh, youve got to admit thats a good one, larry. Goodbye all aboard the popsicle schtick express next stop hilarity [ laughter ] youve got to admit thats a nice train graphics. Whats the matter with that . [ laughter ] whats the matter with that . No, the longer it went the longer it went, the more i liked it. Ha ha ha eat schtick meyers seth that was your favorite one so far . Without a doubt. Seth okay. How do peruvian shepherds keep their flocks healthy . Ollamacare. Lets get to the news. Its time for a closer look. Our first guest tonight is bernie sanders, everybody. Give it up for the 8g band come on. You have to admit that was funny. Im sorry, did you say look, i dozed off, excuse me. Seth next, what award did People Magazine give kenny g. . Saxiest man alive [ audience groans ] i came in like a popsic oh my god. Did i break the screen . Oh, im sorry. Yeah, i can fix this. I can fix this. I can fix this. Seth. Seth, i can fix this. Hey, you look great by the way. Nice tie. Those eyes are popping. Complete package today. Yeah, yeah. Hello, rick . Hey, buddy. Yeah. Listen, i screwed up bigtime. I was doing this whole miley cyrus wrecking ball thing for popsicle schtick. Long story short, were going to need a new screen over here pronto. Okay, see you soon. It will just be a minute. Just right over here. Right, right, that is great. Okay. So sorry, everyone i am so sorry. Hey, enjoy the rest of popsicle schtick, folks. [ laughter ] seth lets just move on. [ laughter ] alright, here we go. Which star wars character got busted for Sexual Harassment . Chewy c. K. [ audience groans ] come on danny, tell us about your popsicle. What did you do this popsicle, sandy . I was at the beach. I met a boy there. All right, ill tell you. Popsicle loving had me a blast popsicle loving happened so fast i met a schtick crazy for me i met a schtick cute as can be popsicle days drifting away to oh those popsicle nights oh well oh well oh well a schtick tell me more tell me more was she made out of wood tell me more tell her more was the joke on it good aha aha schtick but now theres nowhere to hide since you pushed my schtick aside im out of my head popsiclely devoted to schtick popsiclely devoted to schtick popsiclely devoted to schtick sandy . [ laughter ] tell me about it, schtick. I got schticks theyre multiplying and im losing popsicles because the power youre supplying its a schtickafying you better shape up cause i need a schtick and my popsicles set on you you better shape up you better underschtick to my heart i must be true nothing left nothing left for me to do youre the schtick that i want you are the one who who who who the schtick that i want you are the one who who who who the schtick that i want you are the one of them who who who schtick with me oh yes indeed we schtick together like pop pop pop pop schtickty pop pop remember forever like she pop she pop pop schtickty boom de boom schtick schtick schticky schtick she pop thats the way it should be whoo schtick well always schtick together well always schtick together well always schtick together well always schtick together the end i loved it. I loved it seth he did. He liked it give it up for popsicle schtick. Well be right back, everybody. I won you over. It won you over. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] seth i want to say thank you to my parents, hilary and larry and my brother, josh [ cheers and applause ] fred armisen and the 8g band my beautiful wife alexi whos making us dinner tonight [ cheers and applause ] i also want to give my sincerest thanks real quick to my incredible crew here, my incredible writing staff, our staff altogether. Im so thankful to come here and work with you guys every day. And thank you to everyone who watches every night. We really appreciate it. Have a great thanksgiving, everybody. And well see you on monday [ cheers and applause ] carson hello there. Im carson daly with last call. This beautiful place behind me is called hyde on sunset here in west hollywood. Tonight, actor ross lynch will be the focus of our spott