President trump today tweeted fdrs quote about pearl harbor Remembrance Day incorrectly. The correct quote is, a date which will live in infamy. As opposed to what trump wrote. [ laughter and applause ] he got the heart of it, just not according to the new york post, host matt lauer plans to disappear, play golf and stay in the hamptons after being fired. You hear that, donald . If you let us fire you for Sexual Harassment, your life will be exactly the same. [ cheers and applause ] exactly the same. Less meetings. Google has begun offering a new search feature that shows videos of celebrities answering commonly asked questions about themselves. For example, if you type in can donald trump do a sean connery impression, it gives you this. God bless, the united states. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] seth united states. Sean connery sean connery, and bless the united states. White house press secretary, Sarah Huckabee sanders responded to speculation about President Trump slurring his speech on jerusalem yesterday, and said his throat was dry, and not as we thought, completely missing. [ laughter ] dozens of men in powerful positions have been accused of Sexual Harassment lately, and many of them have made public apologies. Here to comment is one of our writers, amber ruffin, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] hi seth hi, amber hi, seth now, seth, ive heard a lot of men apologizing lately. And i want to talk about how those apologies have inspired me, and what ive learned from them. [ punch ] [ laughter ] seth you just punched me in the face. I categorically deny those allegations. [ laughter ] seth amber. [ cheers and applause ] you just punched me did i . That doesnt sound like me. [ laughter ] anyone who knows me would say thats very out of character. Seth amber, you came out here, you sat down, and you punched me in the face i remember those events differently. Seth amber im sorry, that your face feels punched. [ laughter ] seth thats not an apology. Seth, it was a different time back then. [ laughter ] seth it was 30 seconds ago and you punched me in the face me . Punch someone in the face . Look, ive always been a supporter of faces. [ laughter ] some of my best friends have faces. [ laughter ] seth amber, you punched me in the face. Its wrong. When we do something wrong, the right thing to do is apologize clearly and sincerely and without caveat. Youre right. I did punch seth meyers in the face, and i am sorry. I guess i was hesitant to apologize, because then everyone would know that im a dirty facepuncher. [ laughter ] and now, because people know im a facepuncher, there are certain jobs that i just cant have. Like movie producer. Or today show host. Or senator from minnesota. [ laughter ] but i can still be a senator from alabama vote amber ruffin, baby [ cheers and applause ] seth amber ruffin, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] house speaker, paul ryan today repeated his statement that accused Alabama Senate candidate, roy moore, should drop out of the race. And moore repeated his statement that his girlfriend should drop out of high school. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] i also dont want him in the news. Fitness tracker fitbit recently added over 60 new apps to its smart watch, including lyft and yelp. By the way, lyft and yelp is also my workout. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] today was letterwriting day. Betsy devos is finally trying lower case g. [ laughter ] starbucks is serving a new limitededition christmastree frappuccino that has peppermint in the syrup, mocha sauce, topped with green whipped cream, candied cranberry, a strawberry and caramel drizzle. And like a Real Christmas tree, anyone who drinks it will be dead by december 25th. [ applause ] and finally, this is very exciting. All this week, we have been introducing a new technology that we have developed here at late night. We now, thanks to this technology, have the ability to record the inner voice that is in Donald Trumps head. So here once again is the tiny voice in the back of Donald Trumps head. President trump oh, hey donald, its me, the tiny voice in the back of your head. And i have to say, this situation looks like its rife with land mines. Donald, youre at an event honoring native americans and one of them is in a wheelchair. And they are wearing primary colors. And that is very bad for you. Because when you see red, you go crazy. And when you see yellow, you go crazy. And when you see blue or any of the other colors, you go crazy. You know why . Because youre [ bleep ] crazy. [ light laughter ] thats right, pat him on the back like a normal person. Give him a thumbs up. There you go. But youre not normal. You know youre not normal. So heres what i think you should do. Open that window and jump out before this whole situation goes to hell. [ cheers and applause ] seth the tiny voice in the back of Donald Trumps head, everybody. You guys, we have a great show for you tonight. Shes the host of the syndicated Wendy Williams show, our friend, Wendy Williams is here again. [ cheers and applause ] hes currently on the road in support of his new standup show, the new one. Mike birbiglia is here, our friend. [ cheers and applause ] Mike Birbiglia. Before we get to our guests, minnesota senator, al franken, resigned today amid a growing Sexual Harassment scandal. Meanwhile, the president s son testified in the russia investigation and refused to answer some questions on the basis of Attorney Client privilege. For more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] seth after the first harassment accusations surfaced against franken last month, several more women have come forward to say franken groped them. After the initial wave of allegations, franken was asked in an interview if he thought any more accusers would come forward, and replied, i certainly hope not. [ laughter ] thats not an answer that inspires a lot of confidence. [ laughter ] thats like if a cop asks you if, i search your car if i search your car, am i going to find weed . And you said, i certainly hope not. [ laughter ] also, do you have any doritos . And it turned out there were more accusers. In fact, a seventh woman came forward anonymously yesterday and said that franken tried to forcibly kiss her after the taping of his radio show in 2006. Frankens also been accused by several women of groping them during photo ops. And yesterday another women, a journalist and a former Democratic Congressional staffer came forward to make a similar accusation. As she describes it, we posed for the shot. He immediately put his hand on my waist, grabbing a handful of flesh, i froze, then he squeezed at least twice. Not only can you not do that to a woman you barely know, you cant do that to your wife. [ laughter ] unless youre in the mood to pick up all your clothes from the front lawn. [ laughter ] so finally, democrats mobilized and today franken announced that he would resign after more than 30 Democratic Senators and the chairman of the Democratic National committee called on him to step down. Now, compare that to the response of the Republican Party. Which has fallen in line with the president being accused by more than a dozen women of Sexual Harassment and assault and a Senate Candidate in alabama, roy moore, has been accused by at least nine women, including several who were under age at the time. Sexual harassment should be a nonpartisan issue and yet, many republicans have tried to cynically exploit the franken scandal for political gain. While simultaneously, refusing to denounce the abusers in their own party. Like whitehouse counselor, Kellyanne Conway who tweeted of gillibrand, today she joins most Democratic Senators calling for photogenic senator franken to resign. Just yesterday, she wasnt so sure. You work for a guy who has been accused by more than 12 women of Sexual Harassment and assault. Kellyanne conway has so little self awareness, that when she walks by a mirror, she thinks there is a stranger in her house. [ cheers and applause ] and not only has trump been accused of sexual assault, hes on tape bragging about it. And hes endorsed a man who has been accused by at least nine women. And yet when pressed on wednesday to reconcile the double standard for franken and moore, conway tried to have it both ways by claiming the allegations against moore were troubling, but also still supporting him. And confusingly she cited cnns infamous apple commercial and its slogan, facts first. The president has said the following. Mmhmm. The allegations are troubling. Roy moore has denied them, the president said theyre 40 years old. The president said so what . Who cares how old they are . Excuse me, im reflecting to everybody, so they have facts first. All right, go ahead. Were talking apples and not bananas. Thats right, dont be a banana, give me some more apples. I see a lot of bananas. Seth thats what our discourse has come to. [ laughter ] our journalists and political leaders have communicating via fruit. [ laughter ] give me some more apples. I see a lot of bananas. Thats just sour grapes. I dont like the points youre raisin, but orange you glad to be here. This isnt exactly a plum gig. Hey, use your melon. Oh, honeydew. [ cheers and applause ] trump and the gop are backing an accused child molester just so they can ram through their fragile agenda. An agenda that grows more fragile by the day as the russia investigation intensifies. For example, just yesterday the House Intelligence Committee interviewed the president s son don jr. For nearly eight hours. He was in there so long, his hair gel gave out. [ laughter and applause ] eight hours think about how dangerous that is. That means for eight hours, eric was unsupervised [ laughter ] brother, i got my head stuck in the railing again [ cheers and applause ] now, don jr. Is of specific interest to investigators, because of that infamous meeting he had with the russian lawyer at trump tower in 2016. A meeting don jr. Took, because he was promised dirt on Hillary Clinton as part of russia and its Government Support for mr. Trump. Now, when that first broke, don jr. Tried to play down the meeting in an interview with sean hannity, by claiming nothing came out of it. An acquaintance mmhmm. You know, sent me this email. As a courtesy to him, i said, okay, lets meet. But i didnt know who i was meeting beforehand. Never heard of the person, never got the information until they were in the room. But as you can see from the emails, the pretext of the meeting was, hey, we have information. And there was, you know, some small talk, i dont even remember what it was. It was sort of nonsensical, inane and garbled. Seth it was nonsensical, inane and garbled . Was it coming from your father . God bless the palestinians and god bless the united states. [ laughter and applause ] seth poor trump. Trump lies through his teeth so often, theyre trying to get out of his mouth. One big question of course is how much donald trump knew about this meeting. When he met with the House Intelligence Committee yesterday, don jr. Acknowledged he discussed that meeting with his father after it became public, but he refused to answer any questions about the content of those conversations using a very dubious excuse as congressman adam schiff explained after the meeting. He acknowledged having discussed the june 9th meeting and the emails that went into establishing that meeting after those emails became public. He acknowledged discussing that matter with his father. But refused to answer questions about that discussion on the basis of a claim of attorneyclient privilege. In my view, there was no attorneyclient privilege that protects a discussion between father and son. The claim of privilege is that at a time when father and son were discussing the june 9th meeting and the emails that led up to it. They had the discussion in the presence of council. His argument is that because there was an attorney in the room, anything they discussed is privileged . That was the nature of the claim, yes. Seth so he thinks because there was a lawyer in the room, everything they said is subject to attorneyclient privilege. Thats not how that works. Don jr. Is the kind of guy who if he heard his College Roommate hooking up with someone in their dorm, would run out in the hallway and yell, i just had a threesome [ laughter ] and lets also not forget that the don jr. Email was far from an isolated incident. In fact, russian contacts repeatedly made overtures to Trump Officials seeking to establish a connection and just last week, the New York Times reported that a conservative operative offered the Trump Campaign a kremlin connection, using nra ties. And if you include the email described in that report, that means we now know of at least four different emails sent to Trump Officials with the subject lines, and these are real, kremlin connection, russian back door overture and dinner invite, russia clinton private and confidential and putin trump. [ laughter ] the Trump Campaign got more emails about russia than i get about pottery barn. Were a week away from finding out that the Trump Campaign got an email with the subject line, collusion from crimes at russia. Gov. Now, one of the Big Questions is, what did the russians want in return for all those offers of help . And this week we also started to get a better picture of that too. Former National Security advisor Michael Flynn pleaded guilty to lying about his conversations with the russian ambassador, specifically about sanctions on russia for their election meddling. And now we know what specifically flynn may have been promising in those conversations. Nbc news reports that according to an unnamed whistleblower, mike flynn sent a text to a former business associate, 11 minutes after donald trump was sworn in as president , saying, russian sanctions would be, quote, ripped up once trump was inside the white house. seth it only took 11 minutes for everything to go to [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] so just think about that. Obama imposed sanctions on russia for interfering in the election, and one of the first things that trump team wanted to do was get rid of those sanctions. Thats incredibly suspicious. Thats like going to see a friend in prison and walking in with a cake that says, just a dessert, no file inside. Cakenews. [ laughter and applause ] been a lot of efforts on this show to get cake news into it. [ laughter ] so the evidence is the trump team actively tried to collude with a Foreign Government to undermine a president ial election continues to mount. And even as that happens, the Republican Party is happy to fall in line with the president and his agenda. Even if that means backing an accused child molester. It can be hard to fathom sometimes just how crazy things are getting. In other words i see a lot of bananas. Seth this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] seth well be right back with Wendy Williams, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] announcer for more of seths closer looks be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. victoria vo when i was twelve, i started volunteering for national parks. I go out and demonstrate to people what life was like in the eighteenth century. You can have almost a spiritual experience with the beauty of nature or with a connection with the past. Theres no better place to find that than a national park, which preserves that beauty and the history. vo the subaru share the love event has donated over sixpointfive Million Dollars to help the national parks. Get a new subaru and well donate two hundred fifty dollars more. victoria put a little love in your heart. Wthis weekend hundreds of deals up to 30 off with cartwheel in the target app. Save big with weekend deals every weekend. Only at target we get a gift for mom and dad. , and every year, we split it equally. Except for one of us. I write them a poem instead and one for each of you too thats actually yours. That, that one. Yeah. Regardless, were stuck with the bill. To many, words are the most valuable currency. Last i checked, stores dont take words. Some do. Not everyone can be the poetic voice of a generation. I know, right . Such a burden. The bank of america mobile banking app. The fast, secure and simple way to send money. Meyers 2 Wendy Williams [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back. Give it up for the 8g band right over there, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] and all this week, weve had a fantastic drummer with us who has played with bad religion, tenacious d, and now with multplatinum rock band avenged sevenfold. Who were just honored with their first ever grammy nomination for the stage. Be sure to check out their u. S. Tour, which kicks off in nashville, on january 12th. Brooks wackerman, everybody [ cheers and applause ] thank you, so much for the week. Our first guest tonight is a New York Times bestselling author and host of the Wendy Williams show, which airs weekdays on syndication. Please welcome back to the show to tell us how shes doin. Our good friend, Wendy Williams, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] seth hey, wendy hi, ya, seth hi, everybody. Seth so, good to see you yes. Seth you were the last time you were here was the day after the election. When you didnt want to talk politics. You only wanted the funny. Seth i did. You were the perfect tonic. Yup. Seth so its so nice to have you back. But i want to ask, before we get started, on halloween, you had a scary moment during your show. Oh, gosh. Seth you fainted. Have you ever fainted . Seth i have never fainted. And it happened during the show, it was on camera. Did you know what was happening . I having not never fainted, i dont know what was going on . Yeah, there was a tuneup. Seth uhhuh. Where i felt it. You know, i felt something was about to happen. And i fell gracefully. cause i was the statue of liberty. But my my seth right, it was halloween. So you were dressed my head piece stayed on and everything. Seth wow. Yeah, i fell on my tailbone and rolled on to my back ever so gently and not one black and blue mark, not one bit of pain in the morning. Seth oh, thats amazing. However also, i was also only out for three minutes or three seconds, so i was able to come back and finish the show. Seth the incredible thing about that, that you finished the show after fainting. You have done you just passed the 1,500 show milestone. Yes. Seth incredible. Youre in your ninth season. [ cheers and applause ] yes. Seth and 1,500 you have never missed a show. I have never missed a show. I mean, ive done the show with a cold. [ light laughter ] which, i know, dont judge. [ laughter ] i wont be doing that any more. But ive done it with a cold. You know, fainting. And then getting back up and powering through. Everybody was worried about me. They wanted me to take off the rest of the week. But you know what i found out . Im low on sodium. So im the one who is shaking like crazy now. Seth oh, good. Drinking a lot of electrolytes. Seth thats exciting to find out youre low on something delicious like sodium. Like, sodium. [ laughter ] and as a result, dehydrated. Seth yeah, oh right, of course. When you went into this did you think you were the kind of person that could do 1,500 straight . Have you been healthy your whole life . Yeah. Seth yeah. I mean, not healthy, but who is going to pay my bills . Seth there you go. You know what i mean. [ laughter ] seth so more driven than healthy. Yes, yes, yes. Seth yeah. You have been rewarded for your drive. This is very cool. You come from asbury park, yes . Yes, i grew up well, i was born in asbury and raised in ocean township. Seth and you got a street sign, you got Wendy Williams way right there. Yup. Seth and you go back and visit it . [ cheers and applause ] i do, i do. That street, it used to be called Central Avenue and now its called Wendy Williams way, and my home is on the street, which i love that. Thank you, asbury park. I go back and visit to clean up to be sure okay, nobody is littering. Seth oh, wow. Nobody is doing anything crazy. Seth you take it very seriously, having your own street. Oh, yes, i do. And i bring a stepladder, because a lot of times people leave like notes in ziploc bags so they dont get wet. Seth and they leave it on the top . Yeah, yeah, yeah. Seth and so what do they say . How you doin, or i love you, or you know, call me. Or, you know, Something Like that. Seth wow, its so great in the age of social media that people are still doing signs. [ laughter ] like you have a twitter account, right . Um seth all right. [ laughter ] thats very thats really cool. No, we do, but its for the show. Seth so i want to ask about ask wendy. Okay. Seth this is your new show, youve been doing it for a very long time. Yes. Seth and people have been getting more comfortable over the years. What was the difference from what people would ask wendy in the beginning versus what people would ask wendy now . Well, in the beginning, it would be Something Like, do you think that these frames are good for my face . You know, a woman wearing glasses or something. Seth uhhuh. Something like that. Or, you know, i was thinking of dying my hair, you know, brown. And what do you think . You know . Oh, well, you dont look nice as a blonde. And now honey [ laughter ] i get asked about threesomes. Seth oh, wow. Oh, yes. I get asked about affairs with bosses. Seth really . There was a woman who was who was a dean at harvard who was on today, and so she says to me, she says, you know, wendy theres this woman in our social circle, and she kisses my husband. She takes his face and kisses him on the lips ever so gently and she does it all of the time. And i notice she doesnt do that to any other of the other men in our social circle. Seth so what did you tell her to do . Tell her, milly, you know that thing that you do when you touch my husbands face and kiss him on the lips . Dont do it. [ laughter ] would you like some more beans . Seth oh, wow. Yeah seth is it key then to make sure you have beans before you do it . Yeah. [ applause ] [ light laughter ] seth we dont sometimes we get too caught up in the world of politics, we dont get to talk about pop culture much on this show. You talk about it a lot. So there are some things i want to ask you about, because i dont know how to feel, and i feel like youll be able to tell me. Okay. Seth last time we were here we talked about the potential of a royal engagement. Its happened. How do we feel about harry and meghan . I think that its terrific. I didnt think this would happen. I didnt want her to blow this for us us, us, us as americans. [ laughter ] and us as black people. Seth okay, great. Yeah. You know what i mean . Dont blow this for us. Seth got you, are you nervous now, do you think she can still blow it or do you think she has got it made . Oh, no, no, no, shes got him locked down. Seth yeah. And i understand that her father is the wild card, the palace does not want the father there. Seth oh, really . But its harry who is saying, oh, no. Hell be there. Seth oh, thats exciting. Yeah. Seth so will you watch . Will you watch the Royal Wedding . Probably not. [ laughter ] seth oh, really . Too busy . Well, hopefully, my show wont be preempted for it. Seth oh, yeah. Well, if you get preempted, wont you sit down and watch, see what you get preempted for . No, i dont like preempted. [ laughter ] seth okay, Justin Bieber and selena gomez. Is it accurate that theyre back together . Yeah, yeah. Seth are we happy about that . I am. Seth got ya. [ cheers and applause ] you know, heres the thing. Theyre both very, very young and normally i dont like young people to be so deeply in love. But theyve been through so much. I mean, you know, early 20s in show biz is like late 30s. Seth yes. They have seen a lot, these kids. Seth they have. Thats true. And, you know, her with the kidney and the lupus and him, you know, hes in church and hes been through his thing. Seth that you summarized that all so very fast. [ laughter ] but im just im glad theyre together. Seth yeah. I dont want them to get married any time soon. Seth got ya. And i dont want her to get pregnant any time soon. Seth what do you think is a safe amount of time they should wait until they get married . 28. Seth 28 years old. Okay, great. Thats a nice age. Seth yeah, i think thats a good age to get married. [ yelp ] thats a long time dating. Seth Somebody Just yelped. [ laughter ] i waited until i was 40 before i got married . Really . Seth yeah, my wife was not that psyched that i waited. How long were you engaged . Seth very quickly, we were only engaged for, like, six months. And how long did you date her prior . Seth five years . What took you so long . Seth dumbness. [ laughter ] yeah, yeah. And so how is your son . Seth my son is fantastic. Its great. We havent broken the news to him yet it that took me five years to propose. Yeah. Nice. Seth yeah, but hes really good. We got another one coming. Good for you seth yeah. [ cheers and applause ] good for you. Seth but that, and i feel like that as first pregnancies thats not getting ours is not getting a lot of attention, because there is a lot of talk, will you clarify this for me . Jenners. Are jenners pregnant currently . Allegedly. Seth allegedly. Look, i dont know. I havent seen any evidence. You know, when they go out there wearing big clothes and putting bags in the way. If they are pregnant, great. You know, kylie is only 20, though. But in entertainment and being a jenner. Seth yeah 45, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] 45 or 50. You know . But you know her and then khloe and then, you know, kim has got hers with the surrogate. So, you know seth oh, yeah. All right, good, more jenners. Great. [ laughter ] fabulous, seth. Seth im glad youre as excited as i am. Tell me about the Hunter Foundation. So my husband, my son and i, we started this foundation three years ago. Its for the good of the people. You know, we do what we can. This year, this holiday season, were looking to feed 2,000 people here in the tristate area. We have a toy drive coming up on saturday. We you know, were constantly doing and giving and stuff. And, you know, service is a good thing. Not just during the holidays, but all of the time. And so our kid is 17. [ applause ] and we want to teach him that, cause hes a senior in high school, so before he leaves he has to have all of the tools, including service. Seth thats great. How many years have you done it . Three years. Seth thats great. Did you feel you get better at it every year and figure out more about what it is what it takes to do this sort of thing . Yeah, i mean, its very difficult to, you know, start a foundation. Seth yeah, i imagine. Well, im so glad you did. Congratulations on that. And thank you so much for being here. Happy holidays, wendy. Thank you. You too, you too. Seth Wendy Williams, everybody. For more information on the Hunter Foundation go to wendyshow. Com. Well be right back with Mike Birbiglia. [ cheers and applause ] music playing no one id rather have dinner and a movie with. No one id rather lean on. Being in love is an amazing thing. Being in love with your best friend. Is everything. Ever us one diamond for your best friend. One for your true love. For the one woman in your life whos both. Ever us. Available at kay, jared and zales. What train whistle blowing or . Hey, thomas. I want a rabbit thats not how you get a rabbit. If you want a rabbit, you ask for a pony and then let them work you back down. Mmhmm. Youre up what if aunt joy wants the new iphone . You make this your final offer ask for it on verizon. Its the most awarded network ever. Thats why more people count on it. Id like a giant singing rabbit in a rocket ship, please. Shes a shrewd businesswoman. vo give the gift of any iphone and get up to 300 off. Only on the best network. Discover card. I justis this for real . Match, yep. We match all the cash back new cardmembers earn at the end of their first year, automatically. Whoo i got my money hard to contain yourself, isnt it . Uh huh let it go whoo get a dollarfordollar match at the end of your first year. Only from discover. [firewor[ ]xploding] hurry in to old navy get gifting with up to 60 off the entire store. Thats up to 60 off the entire store with styles from 6 dollars, at old navy. It feels good to be back. [ cheers and applause ] seth our next guest is a very funny comedian and the director and star of the film, sleep walk with me, and dont think twice. Hes currently on tour with his standup show, the new one. Please welcome back to the show our very good friend, Mike Birbiglia, everyone [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back [ cheers and applause ] im trying to understand what song they were playing. Seth that was a song they wrote for you. Thats so nice. Seth yeah, they composed that specifically for you. My gosh. Yeah. What a band. Seth what a band. I want to talk seth theyre a good band. Well, i want to talk to you about something. Seth great. You and i i ran into you recently. Seth yeah. On a flight. Im on tour, the new one tour, and i was flying to seattle. Seth mmhmm. I get a tap on my shoulder, and it was seth meyers. Seth we were on the same flight. And i thought, great news. Seth yeah. Were friends, havent caught up in a while. Heres a great opportunity. Sevenhour flight. [ laughter ] seth yeah. We can really, like, open up, get to know each other. Kind of like a sleepover. Seth yeah. When youre in middle school, and then what you did was when we got up in the air, took out your ear buds, and you went full buds. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] for the entire flight. Seth yeah. Seven hours, and so what i want to ask you, was what was the logic for going full buds . Seth okay. Well, i feel like you have framed this in an unfair way, and [ laughter ] the unfairness to it is [ cheers and applause ] that [ cheers and applause ] we were not im sorry, how long is this going to be . Seth this is going to be like 30 seconds. Okay, its going to be 30 seconds . Okay, sorry. Seth yeah, because we werent sitting next to each other. There was an aisle. So i feel like wait, hold on, ill do half buds. Seth yeah, it would have been rude to talk to each other over the aisle. Also, i would make this argument. You, and i both have young children. Okay. Seth right . Yep. Seth and when you get on a flight for seven hours, do you just want to talk to somebody, or do you want to literally just be [ bleep ] alone, left alone for seven hours. [ laughter and applause ] how dare you curse on your Television Show how dare you, sir . Seth but i i no, no seth i have Something Else to say no, no, no before you say one more thing i want to say i thought we were full buds. Seth oh [ audience aws ] [ laughter ] [ applause ] seth nice. I thought we were full buds, seth [ applause ] seth the other thing, this is a true thing about that flight, which is we were both going off to do stand up yup. Seth and i was you know dicking around on my computer, and i will say i could look at you, because you were a little ahead of me, and you were working on standup the whole time, and i have this real and also, you have, like, almost a cliche writers notebook. Like, in that its like a very worn its like if you did a movie about a comedian on a plane, he would have a kick ass notebook like you had, and i was just sitting there thinking, man, birbiglia is doing the work. Yeah, yeah, those flights are rigorous. Seth yeah, but i was very impressed with it. Thank you, and were and in fairness to you, were friends. Your producer said, youre friends with seth right . I go well, heres how i describe our friendship. Were friends like he invited me to his christmas party, but not his wedding. Seth uhhuh. Yes. [ laughter ] accurate. I text you on your birthday, but i dont call you, and i found out its your birthday in the hollywood reporter. [ laughter ] like, thats the level we have lunch, but not dinner. Seth yeah, we had do you remember we had a great thing happen one time when we had lunch . We were standing in the street talking. Oh, are you kidding me . Best day of my life. Seth yeah. We were standing in the street talking, and were both, you know were both television personalities. Weve youre a film maker. Youre a very wellknown comedian. We were standing on the street, and not a Single Person stopped. No one said hello. Seth and then who did we see . You would think that would be some kind of spectacle. These two guys. Seth yeah, but nothing. Nothing. Seth but we were working it. We were standing there for a full ten minutes talking. And then Bradley Cooper showed up. Seth Bradley Cooper showed up. The Bradley Cooper. And i was thrilled, because i went to college at the same time, and at the same college as Bradley Cooper. I was in the improv group. He was in the nomadic theatre company, but i never met him. We never crossed paths. We were at parties and things. He was famously goodlooking. Seth oh gotcha, that didnt develop later in life . [ laughter ] no, but you really have to be so good looking to be good looking in like famously good looking in college. Seth oh, i see what you mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like in other words you can be, like hes sexiest man alive, but you can pull that con over on a people, but not on your english class, you know what i mean . Seth yeah. You really have to sell it local. [ laughter ] and he had it he had it like he really people would be like, have you ever seen Bradley Cooper. We never met, and then here we are in the street, and you know bradley, and you introduced me to him, and i said, hey, i was in the improv group you went to you were in the other theater group. And he just goes, all right. And i was like, thats a thats a letdown, but [ laughter ] but in retrospect, i blame you, because [ laughter ] well, because of the introduction. I feel like on this show, you do such a nice job. This next guy is a filmmaker, he did sleepwalk with me, and he did the thing got a new tour, please welcome Mike Birbiglia you didnt do that. You just go, Mike Birbiglia, and i feel like you could have gone big [ laughter ] you could have been like, this guy, hes a very small part in train wreck, he is the 75th lead on orange is the new black, he was on one episode of girls, please welcome Mike Birbiglia everybody. Id be like, nice to meet you hed be like, oh, wow. Seth yeah, i should have given you a talk show introduction. Do you remember, the other thing that i remember happening is after no one, not a Single Person noticed us yes. Seth a very beautiful woman walked by, and like saw Bradley Cooper and went into like yeah, an irish woman. Seth yeah, it was like an irish woman. Yeah, yeah. Seth it was like the matrix where everything got really slow. She was like [ laughter ] no, its wild. He is astoundingly beautiful. Seth yeah, he really is, and then we like had lunch, and just ate in silence. Well, that lunch that lunch was very memorable for me, because i was writing this movie i made called dont think twice. Seth a fantastic film. Oh thanks its about thanks. [ cheers and applause ] if youre not familiar, its a film about sort of a group of best friends in an improv group, and someone gets cast in sort of a saturday night live type show. Sort of a doppelganger snl, with a doppelganger lorne michaels. I was terrified at the time that we were just going to get sued by snl, and lorne michaels, and so then when we went to lunch, i thought here is a great opportunity to talk to the person who is my lorne michaels, and thats you. Seth oh. [ crowd aws ] although, i dont know no, i dont know. No, i mean no, it is. I mean, like i wouldnt know how to call lorne. So i talked to you to get a vibe on it, so i pitched you the movie. You gave me nothing. [ laughter ] seth yep. And when i say nothing, i mean, precisely nothing. Like, you didnt go positive. You didnt go negative. You just go hmmm. I go, its a movie about this, blah, blah, blah. And you go, all right, yeah. And then when we were leaving, when i was dropping you off at your apartment, i go, hey, what do you think do you think lorne would be thats the thing i was nervous about. Do you think lorne would be okay with that movie. And you go, lorne is never going to see your movie. [ laughter ] seth and that was not meant to be cruel in any way. It wasnt cruel. Seth yeah. It was exactly what i needed to hear. Seth yeah. Theres a lot of things ive done, and lorne is the executive producer of this show that he has not seen. Oh, i know. [ light laughter ] oh, im sure. Seth yeah, and but you havent heard from him yet, right . You havent heard from him about dont think twice . No, no. I think that would have been yeah, that would have been, like, a great thing if we got sued by snl in some ways. It would have been big publicity thing. Seth yeah, yeah. Were much were very low were a little under the radar, but, yeah, so im on this new tour that we ran into each other on the flight, and then the pod this podcast, by the way, is my own podcast. Seth so you when you were doing your when you put on your ear buds to tune me out, you were listening to yourself. Yeah. Yeah, i mean, its got a lot of layers to it. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] ive heard it seth so this is because your new show youre touring a show called the new one. And i dont like to talk about it. Like, in other words, you know how like your Favorite Movie is like my Favorite Movie this year are like lady bird and the big sick and get out. And like, what i like to do it, to my friends i say, see this movie, dont see a trailer dont see dont read a review. Seth right. And i think thats like a really great gift you can give somebody. And so i dont with my new show, i dont tell people anything about it. I just say, if you like the old albums, the old ones, come see the new one. And so i have this fiveepisode, limited podcast. Where i talk to like old friends, john mulaney, judd apatow, ira glass, about the old albums. Seth thats great. So and when you talk about them, are they asking you questions about your process coming to jokes or are you just we just turn on the microphones. Seth you just turn on the microphones. Man what a what a tricky thing. It just flows. We just talk about it. We just talk about it, free associate seth and then you got nice i did not know you had a podcast, but then judd apatow posted this to let everybody know you have a podcast. I never announced that i was going to have it except judd apatow wrote on his instagram, doing a podcast with Mike Birbiglia. I just told him, he has green veggies stuck between his teeth. I thought that was really rude. [ laughter ] seth yeah. Im at this age where my teeth theyre just, like theyre just like salad holders. [ laughter ] seth yeah. I just when i eat a salad, 50 goes in my belly, 40 in my teeth, 10 miscellaneous. [ laughter ] seth were going to have to track down that miscellaneous. Yeah, yeah. Wheres the miscellaneous . Seth thanks so much for being here, buddy. Thank you. Seth its always great to see you. I cant wait for the new show thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] seth i liked the last five. Thank you so much. Seth Mike Birbiglia, everybody. For more information on his standup tour visit thenewone. Com. Well be right back with more late night. [ cheers and applause ] let out your inner child at the lexus december to remember sales event. Lease the 2017 rc turbo for 299 a month for 36 months. Experience amazing at your lexus dealer. Get on up, mama. Get on up. Do what you want. Do you want, let the record hop. Degree motionsense. Ultimate freshness. With every move. The more you move, the more it works. Degree, it wont let you down. I just want to find a used car start at the new carfax. Com show me used trucks with one owner. Pretty cool. [laughs] ah. Ahem. Show me the carfax. Start your used car search at the allnew carfax. Com. Let out your inner child at the lexus december to remember sales event. Experience amazing at your lexus dealer. Beingthe less stuff i have oto carry the better. With surface pro, i have one device that does everything. Technology has really changed how i do this job. On pacific rim uprising our characters are 250 ft. Tall. Where in the heck are you gonna land this big robot . Pulled up a satellite image and there is like a giant bullseye, robots here i feel very proud of what i bring to the screen. I have the greatest job in the world. Gruesome discovery near moffett field. A woman s body was found near the bay trail no word on how she died or if there s foul play. Her body is being investigated by the coroner. And strong winds spark two new fires in southern california. The one near san diego is now prompting mandatory evacuations for parts of oceanside. Strong winds are expected thru the weekend. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back to late night. One thing i like to do during commercial breaks is head into the audience for a q a where folks can ask me whatever they want, but today i thought it would be fun to do it live for the viewers at home. So, who here has a question . Anyone . Yes, you, maam. How many people work on late night . Seth that is a great question. We have a huge hardworking crew of about 150 people. Yes. Up there. Who is your dream guest . Seth uh, rihanna. I would love to have rihanna on the show. Oh, oh, yes, you. Do you think my dads ever coming back . [ laughter ] seth excuse me . He went out for cigarettes like 20 years ago. Im just [ laughter ] im just wondering if hes ever coming back . Seth yeah, i was actually thinking more like questions about me. Oh, oh duh, yeah, of course. Alright. Have you seen my dad . [ laughter ] seth im sorry, but this really works best when its questions about the show. Okay. See, you keep adding new caveats to the q a. Ive never been here before. Seth uhhuh. Yeah, dont beat yourself up. Its fine, but im going to move on. Anybody else . Yes, over there. What do you miss most about snl . Seth oh, gosh, so much. I guess no, actually, you know what . It actually has to be questions about this show. [ laughter ] yeah, apparently those are the rules. Seth no, no. Its fine. This is a good question. Wow [ laughter ] okay. Wow. Seth i miss the people. You have no idea what its like to miss someone. [ laughter ] seth sir, im really, really sorry your father walked out on you. Thats the thing. He didnt walk he drove so he should definitely be back by now what do you think is up with that . Seth sir oh, sorry. I meant, what channel is this show on . [ laughter ] seth alright, you know what. Its on nbc. All right, cool. Ill have to check it out. Seth you know, what im sorry. Does anybody else have a question . Anybody . Anybody have a question . That doesnt involve being abandoned by their parents . [ laughter ] anyone . I have a question seth yes, sir . Has anyone seen my son . [ laughter ] dad . Seth wait, are you hey, dad, i just went to get popcorn. Oh, there he is. Never mind. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i love you, papa. Oh, not as much as i love you, you little weirdo. Seth im glad it worked out for one of you. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] at tmobile, when you holiday together, great things come in twos. Like tmobile and netflix. Right now when you get an unlimited family plan, netflix is included. Ho ho ho tmobile covers your netflix subscription. Best Christmas Gift ever . So you can binge watch all year long. Now youre thinking christmas and now when you buy any of this seasons hot new Samsung Galaxy phones, you get a second one free to gift. Thats one samsung for you. And one to give. Tmobile. Holiday twogether. Wthis weekend hundreds of deals up to 30 off with cartwheel in the target app. Save big with weekend deals every weekend. Only at target lips lose natural color lackluster lips . Dont think so. Over time. Chapstick total hydration moisture tint. Our 100 natural moisturizing formulas enhance your natural lip color. Chapstick. Put your lips first. No matter what it brings. Every day. Or where he is. And pain doesnt hold him back. Thanks to dr. Scholls running insoles. The only ones proven to relieve and prevent pain from runners knee, shin splints and plantar fasciitis. Dr. Scholls. Born to move. Dad molly, can you please take out the trash . sigh dad molly trash whoo mom hey, molly . Its time to go bell ringing class, lets turn to page 136, recessive traits skip generations. Who would like to read . molly i reprogrammed the robots to do the inspection. Its running much faster now. See . Its amazing, molly. Thank you. announcer for more late night, go to latenightseth. Com. Follow us instagram and twitter latenightseth and be sure to check us out on youtube and facebook. Head over to itunes to subscribe to the late night with seth meyers podcast. Youll get a closer look and more downloaded right to your phone. [ cheers and applause ] seth my thanks to Wendy Williams, Mike Birbiglia, Brooks Wackerman of course the 8g band. Stay tuned for carson daly. Well see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] carson hey, everybody. Its carson daly here with last call from the federal bar. Heres tonights rundown. In our spotlight, were going to introduce you to the breakou