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Featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 758. Steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] oh, my goodness that is a hot crowd. [ cheers and applause ] hi. Hi, how are you . Welcome, welcome, thank you very much. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome, welcome. Welcome, welcome. Welcome to the tonight show [ cheers and applause ] this is it. This is the show to be at. [ cheers and applause ] new york city. Welcome, everybody. Well, heres what people are talking about. Theres still a lot of leaks coming out of the white house, saying that trumps really coming unraveled. I guess hes been Walking Around repeating himself over and over. [ laughter ] in response trump said that is totally false. [ light laughter ] and totally false. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] not to mention, totally false. Did you guys hear this . Today trump said that he met with the president of the u. S. Virgin islands, even though he is actually the president [ laughter ] of the virgin islands. Trump was like, well that explains why he was so smart, and handsome, and has such huge hands. [ laughter and applause ] another big story is the executive order trump signed on health care, and he claims it will help millions of people. And people said, millions millions, or crowd at your inauguration millions . Just making sure. [ laughter and applause ] i read that trumps executive order on health care will clear the way for cheaper policies that offer fewer benefits. Well we looked into it a bit more and it turns out these cheaper policies will only cover a couple of things. Take a look. First they cover headaches. [ laughter ] they also cover nausea. [ laughter ] and finally, they cover constipation. [ cheers and applause ] good to know. Its good to know. Steve thats it . Jimmy its just good to know. Steve oh. Jimmy this whole thing could take a while, in fact, white house chief of staff john kelly said our government is designed to be slow. When someone asked if that can get annoying, kelly said [ laughter ] yes. [ cheers and applause ] i guess. You guys, today is friday the 13th. [ cheers and applause ] i heard this is funny, to celebrate, tattoo parlors are offering 13 tattoos. [ light laughter ] cause what could what could go wrong, getting a cheap tattoo on the unluckiest day of the year . [ laughter ] how do you do that . [ applause ] listen to this, guys. Theres actually a trailer that just came out for a pretty scary new sequel to the horror movie friday the 13th. Take a look at this. His victims never saw it coming. I do. Theres clearly some one President Trump put in the best cabinet two. Thank you. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. The last thing they heard was his terrifying catchphrase. Hello. Hello. [ applause ] jimmy what . Steve what is that . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hello. [ laughter ] steve what is that . Jimmy i dont know what hes doing. Check this out, you guys. A company is selling a 15,000 pool table shaped like a a banana. [ light laughter ] its a perfect way to tell your guests im horrible with money. [ laughter ] banana. This is nice. I read about a man in new jersey who found a winning Lottery Ticket in an old shirt, and won 24 million. [ audience oohs ] when asked what he plans to buy with it, he said 1,000 bananashaped pool tables. [ laughter and applause ] thats bizarre because we just said the joke about the pool table. Well, its the end of another crazy week, and since theres too much to talk about instead of giving you a full week in review, we decided to put together a little montage that just focuses on the key words used this week. Its something we call this week in words. Enjoy. [ cheers and applause ] war of words. Trump on the attack. More and more people are pushing back. The fact were not afraid of trump. Walking on egg shells. I came to stomp. Corker. Backlash. Tempers. Flare. And calling the white house an adult day care. Discord. Tension. Trump. Deflects. And then theres tillerson. Lets talk about rex and trump. And the tillerson feud. The president thinks he has a better iq. Called trump a moron. Rocky from the start. Nonsense. Hes smart. Infighting. Backbiting. Problems to solve. Theres a lot of psycho drama when Donald Trumps involved. Vanity fair. Says trumps losing his mind. An executive order. He forgot to sign . [ laughter ] baseball playoffs. Yankees win the red sox out. The astros in. Stranger things 2 trailer. Cant ignore. Star wars trailer. Porg. Jimmy there you go. [ cheers and applause ] porg. We have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you we have a fantastic show tonight. Its always so much fun when she stops by. From the new movie all i see is you, blake lively is here. [ cheers and applause ] steve come on. Jimmy we love her. Steve shes the best. Jimmy she really is so much fun. Later in the show blake and i are facing off in a dance battle. Steve ooh. [ audience oohs ] jimmy so stick around for that. Plus, shes also one of our favorites. This is her brand new book called were going to need more wine. Gabrielle union is dropping in. [ cheers and applause ] were going to need a little bit more, yeah. Jimmy and we have great new music from wutang [ cheers and applause ] its going to be great. Guys, todays friday. Thats usually when i catch up with some personal stuff. You know, i check my inbox, return some emails, and of course, i send out thank you notes. And just wondered [ cheers and applause ] can i write them out right now . Is that okay with you guys . [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Thank you so much. Hey, james. You got any big plans this weekend . [ laughter ] can i steve almost. Jimmy can i get some thank you note writing music, please . Steve wow. He looks almost lifelike. Jimmy yeah. [ laughter ] jimmy thank you, porg in the new star wars trailer, for letting me know what it would look like if i had squeezed a guinea pig as hard as i could. [ laughter and applause ] steve hey porg. Porg. Jimmy just playing with him, yeah. Thank you, breaking a mirror, for meaning seven years of bad luck. And thank you breaking your iphone screen for meaning seven months of being too lazy to get a new iphone. [ laughter and applause ] thank you, controls on office chairs, for making sitting feel like im navigating an intergalactic spaceship. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] why do i need all this what does this chair do . Thank you, netflix screen that asks are you still watching . [ laughter ] for being the most passiveaggressive way of saying dude, you need to get your life together. Its like [ cheers and applause ] six hours . [ laughter ] youre still youre still watching . [ applause ] steve dude. Dude, are you watching . Jimmy thank you, milk and sugar station at starbucks, for reminding me why i never want to be roommates with the rest of the world. [ light laughter ] its like throw it in the garbage. Its right there. That hole is a garbage hole. Steve in the hole. Jimmy thats the garbage hole. Why would you put it anywhere else, but in that . [ laughter ] jimmy thank you, halloween eggnog. Youre like regular eggnog, but with more boos. [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] steve shake weight. Jimmy whats that . Steve are you working out with a shake weight . Jimmy whats that . Steve are you working out with a shake weight . Jimmy yeah, i work out with a shake weight. I do it before the show. Steve oh my god, thats fantastic. Jimmy its the only way to work out. Steve hows your eggnog . Jimmy whats that . Steve hows your eggnog . [ light laughter ] does it have any spirits in it . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy good to see you dude. [ cheers and applause ] hey, higgins. How many steps you got in your fitbit . Steve this hand, 20,000. This one 640,000. [ laughter ] thats weird. Jimmy its so interesting. [ banging ] this is very loud is the only problem. Steve whats that . Jimmy you cant even hear me because youre banging steve well, im just setting my shake weight down. Here, ill put it underneath here. [ light laughter ] jimmy oh, yeah, no problem. Its just loud you can just put it you can just put it anywhere. You just hear [ laughter ] higgins. Its just too noisy, you see. Youre right by the why do you steve okay. Im good, im good. Im just getting a piece of gum. Jimmy thats not gum dude thats not gum, that is thats a condom, dude. [ laughter ] thank you, bobbing for apples, for making a thing you dont actually want really difficult to get. Thats all you get. [ laughter ] you want an apple . A wet apple . I dont know. Thank you, hay rides, for letting me know what it would look like if the amish had invented uber pool. There you go everybody. Thats my thank you notes. Well be right back with blake lively [ cheers and applause ] dad molly, can you please take out the trash . sigh dad molly trash whoo mom hey, molly . Its time to go bell ringing class, lets turn to page 136, recessive traits skip generations. Who would like to read . molly i reprogrammed the robots to do the inspection. Its running much faster now. See . Its amazing, molly. Thank you. americas favorite cookie delicious Chocolate Candy oreo Chocolate Candy bars now also available in mint flavor [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my first guest tonight, my dance battle partner, is a very talented actress who stars in the new movie all i see is you, which is in theaters october 27th. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome blake lively lets get it on you know what im talking about come on baby [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back to the show. Thank you sir. Jimmy you look gorgeous. What are these beaut this is for me . I came to dance. Jimmy oh, you came [ cheers ] well, i came i came to win. Jimmy you came to win . Yeah. Yeah. Jimmy the dance battle . But, these are for you actually. Jimmy these are for me. Yeah, i cant battle in those. Youre going to dance in those . Yeah. Yeah. No, no i have to change. Because, like, these are beautiful. Jimmy yeah. [ cheers and applause ] right . Jimmy yeah. Yeah. But i feel like these are better dancing shoes. Jimmy really . Ive seen a lot of beyonce concerts. [ laughter ] [ talking over each other ] jimmy are you competitive . Yeah, you are, yeah, a little bit. Yeah. Jimmy have we played games . Yeah, weve played games. Jimmy what games did we play . Are you blocking it out because i win . Ooh. This is the smack talking. Jimmy whats the last game that you beat me in though . I dont know, you probably always win. Jimmy no, i dont always win. No, this one im actually nervous to do because youre really good at this. Jimmy why i dont know what im going to do. Ive watched all your youtube videos. Ive tried to like you know how they do in the nfl, and they watch the other team, they try to see their plays and their moves . Jimmy yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Jimmy its going to be fun. You are always the best. I was talking with somebody today. Do you remember we did a bit like eight years ago, nine years ago . Thanksgiving. Jimmy thanksgiving bit. Yeah it was like jimmy and i was like i forget what the idea was. But you were very funny. It was like slapping you or something. Jimmy it was slapping me over the yeah, over and over again. Yeah. We actually youtubed it. Jimmy i got to look that up. But anyways, we love you. And, i love having you back. Thank you. Happy to be here jimmy now here we are so many years later. I know. Jimmy hows your family . Hows the babies . Theyre so good. Thank you. I have two baby girls like you. Jimmy thats right. So jimmy yeah. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. A 2yearold and a 1yearold now so, yeah its super calm at our house. Jimmy is she 1 already . Yeah, shes 1. Jimmy oh my good did you have a Big Birthday Party . No. We had a i made a cookie monster cake. And it was so cute. You shove like cookies in his mouth. And they crumble. And she just looked at it and then just like reached for a a steak. [ laughter ] which like, i dont i had steak. I was eating steak. Jimmy yeah. In the afternoon jimmy yeah. So, she had a birthday steak. So, she had a birthday steak. And then she grabbed the other one. And shes like hamfisting two steaks. Jimmy how cute is that . Ive given birth to a baby viking. Shes like [ laughter ] i dont know. Its like shes a white walker. Jimmy how cute is that, just eating raw meat . Oh, its great. Jimmy like medieval times. Yeah jimmy her hand for her birthday, i like washed her sleeves. Her sleeves were dripping in blood from the steak. A child. [ laughter ] jimmy what a great memory. Yeah. Happy birthday. Your kid gets covered in blood. Yeah. Just scraping the blood out of her clothes. Jimmy hows james taking the new baby . Shes good. She loves her sister. She does this thing where she just like, i love her so much. But im actually really harming her now. [ laughter ] still a baby jimmy yeah, i know that. Yeah. Yeah its like jimmy shes squeezing too hard. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, exactly. Jimmy yeah. And i think she knows what shes doing. But then like we were talking about halloween. And she was like, oh, im going to be cinderella. And i said oh, thats so special. Does baby ines get to be elsa . No, mike wazowski. [ laughter ] its from monsters inc the oneeyed round jimmy yeah. Monster. Jimmy thats what she has to be. Thats what she has to be. Mike wazowski. Jimmy yeah. She cant be cinderella. And then i was like, well, what about moana . And maybe, like you can be moana. And she can be, i dont know, te fiti. This Beautiful Mountain jimmy sure. And she wanted her to be heihei. The [ laughter ] jimmy the crazy chicken . The weird dumb chicken. Whos like, Bock Bock Bock bock bock. [ laughter ] jimmy how great is moana, by the way . Its so great. Jimmy when you have kids oh my gosh. Jimmy i mean, you realize how important these shows and some of them can be really annoying. I sort of watch them before, though, the disney movies. Jimmy you watch them before you show them to the kids . I feel like my husband and i wait for them to go to bed so we can turn on moana and just watch the part where she walks through the wave. Jimmy yeah you know what i mean . Jimmy i know. Jimmy i freak out. Its the best. Jimmy i know, i really get into it, im like you guys want to watch moana . [ laughter ] lets do it, im like i cant do dora anymore i cant do another dora the explorer. I cant do it. No, we never did that. Jimmy you never did dora . Oh, youre so lucky. But, i feel like i feel like with my little chunky one, shes going to have to be Jackie Gleason for halloween or something. Jimmy well this is the year you can dress them up. Youre allowed to dress them up when youre one. Yeah, i know. You can make them anything you want. Jimmy around four, they start making decisions. Yeah. Yeah. Jimmy like yeah, i dont want that to happen. Jimmy i know, its the worst. My husband has a decision with halloween. Because i always have really elaborate suggestions for him like i wanted him to be sully, ines going to be mike wazowski, he should have the full sully. [ audience aws ] jimmy thats cute. Furry face. But we sort of have to put on a a lot of crazy faces for our job anyway. So maybe jimmy yeah. Thats true, yeah maybe that would be too much. Jimmy masks and prosthetics arent its like, thats what we do for a living. [ light laughter ] yeah, exactly we dress up for a living. Yeah, halloween is our life. [ laughter ] lets i want to talk about your movie. All i see is you. Were going to debut a brand new trailer thats never been seen before, for everybody. Thank you for bringing that to us. You know we love you. So explain what the movies about. Because its trick its really good. Yeah, its its about a a woman who loses her eyesight at the age of 12. And then ends up getting a a corneal transplant, which you can do. And regains her sight in her late 30s shes married to this man. And they have a beautiful loving relationship. And hes so generous because he takes care of her. And you know. And then you sort of find out that everything you thought your life was. It may not actually be. Once she can see everything. Jimmy i mean, thats so bizarre its sort of different than she imagined. Yeah. Jimmy is it tricky playing how would you even practice well, i was really lucky. I have a friend who helped me a a lot. He lost his sight. His name is ryan knight. And hes this incredible man. And he would walk me around with a walking stick. He helped me learn to play guitar blind. Just lots of Different Things and then another friend who was putting my contact lenses in, in the movie. She had the same thing. But she had a corneal transplant as well, this girl whitney. Jimmy wow. So i was acting to her. So, when i got my sight back, i made sure that she like felt like this was an accurate moment. Theres a moment where i see my name for the first time. And my friend ryan told me that he actually, he forgot what his face looks like. Jimmy wow. And so its something you that you so many things you take for granted. And so yeah, i had these two amazing resources helping me. And i wore contact lenses. So that i couldnt see. And i got to know the set. Jimmy what would you just black or blurry . It was like looking into a a jar of milk this close. So, it was just this totally foggy white. And i got to know the set by just touching everything and feeling it. And then i got to know the people around. And you became really sensitive to smell and to sounds. And i still knew who everybody was around, like even when they werent speaking. Jimmy fascinating. So, its amazing how other senses really turn on. And then, i took the lenses off. And saw the apartment for the first time after getting to know it blind first. Jimmy wow. So, it was cool. And no matter what you have in your head, its different. And, yeah its cool. Jimmy very, very good. I want to show an exclusive neverbeforeseen trailer for the movie. Take a look. Ill be able to see fully. Youll be able to count fingers on day one. By week four, you should be at 20 50. The operation was successful. I can see. Now, take your wife home. Gina. What . I didnt know what my name looked like. Whats the matter . Everythings different. Different than what i had in my head. Ive never seen my wife in a a dress like that before. It felt really you, huh . Well, we dont really know what me is. Whats wrong with your eye . I dont know. I have something to tell you. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy blake lively, all i see is you. Is in theaters october 27th. Blake and i are having a dance battle after the break. Stick around, everybody [ cheers and applause ] this this this this is my body of proof. Proof of less joint pain and clearer skin. This is my body of proof that i can take on Psoriatic Arthritis with humira. Humira works by targeting and helping to block a specific source of inflammation that contributes to both joint and skin symptoms. Its proven to help relieve pain, stop further joint damage, and clear skin in many adults. Humira is the 1 prescribed biologic for Psoriatic Arthritis. 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You named it brad. You loved brad. And then you totaled him. You two had been through everything together. Two boyfriends, three jobs. Youre like nothing can replace brad. Then Liberty Mutual calls. And you break into your happy dance. If you sign up for better car replacementâ„¢, well pay for a car thats a model year newer with 15,000 fewer miles than your old one. Liberty stands with youâ„¢. Liberty mutual insurance. Oh, you yeah ht butch. butch growls at man hes looking at me right now, isnt he . Yup. butch barks at man butch is like an old soul that just hates my guts. laughs vo you can never have too many faithful companions. Introducing the allnew crosstrek. Love is out there. Find it in a subaru crosstrek. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you ready . Welcome back, everybody. Were hanging out with blake lively now. [ cheers and applause ] all i see is you, october 27th. Blake loves to dance, and blake knows i love to dance. [ laughter ] i think the question on everyones mind is who is who is the better dancer. Lets find out in a segment called tonight show dance battle. Here we go. Its the tonight show dance battle yeah jimmy all right, here we go. Now, this here is the dance move generator. Were going to take turns hitting this button, which will randomly select a neverbeforeseen dance move. Whoevers turn it is has to make up a dance for that move. And may the best dancer win. [ light laughter ] blake, since you are the guest, why dont we go first . Lets start the dance move generator. Okay. Just hit it . Jimmy yeah. Whenever youre ready. [ laughter ] ive sort of been doing that this whole interview. Jimmy no way. Me too. Here we go. Trying to pretend you dont have a wedgie dance. Okay. Jimmy roots, can she get a a beat . Okay. Jimmy thats pretty good. I like that one. And i was jimmy you had to hide behind me you had to hide behind me to dance. Thats a very interesting move. [ applause ] in that move i could successfully pick my wedgie. [ laughter ] this was like full wedgie. Jimmy kill two birds, man. All right. Almost too real. Too real. Hashtag. All right. Now its my turn. Lets start the dance move generator. Im gonna put my hand on the pa catching the bouquet. Okay. Youve done this a lot. Jimmy yeah. Exactly, okay. Catching a bouquet, okay. [ cheers and applause ] thats not really fair. Jimmy my my wife is so lucky. [ laughter ] ive got to do more ground work. Jimmy yeah, its all the shake weight, man. My mom got me that for christmas one year. Jimmy oh, i got like 10 of them. But it wasnt a joke. Jimmy oh, really . Yeah, thats the she dragged us out of the car, in front of the highway doing that. Jimmy no way, please dont do that. I dont know if you can air that. Jimmy yeah, i know. Well have to cut that out. [ laughter ] blake. Try and top that. Okay. Jimmy start the generator. [ laughter ] ballerina who keeps dropping marbles. Okay. Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. Jimmy definitely a new dance. Okay, okay. Jimmy ballerina who keeps dropping marbles. Roots. [ cheers ] thats beautiful. Oh, oh, look out, hey whoa, whoa, whoa, i dont like how you dipped forward. Oh, drop your marble, be careful. Be careful, my goodness. Please be careful. [ cheers and applause ] good pratfall. Good pratfall, i thought i was real. Like, oh my god. Al right. You did floor work. Jimmy i did floor work. You get competitive, i see, i see. Lets see if i can top that. Start the generator, lets see whats up. Thats not annoying. Okay, bang [ laughter ] heisman magician . Okay . I dont know what that means. Jimmy i guess what does that mean . Like a Heisman Trophy . [ cheers ] all right, im happy im not out of breath for that one. But i dont know how else to do that. The heisman whatever you look like you need water. Jimmy youre going to win this time. Whatever. Im just out of breath. Im totally doughy right now. All right, youre clearly the better dancer. Dancer. Jimmy why even compete . We can dance, if we want too. Jimmy i mean, we can leave our friends behind. Cause if you cant dance. Jimmy and if you dont dance then youre no friend of mine. Jimmy then youre no friend of mine. [ laughter ] lets do one more dance together. Okay. [ cheers ] jimmy lets start the dance moves generator. Do it together, right . Jimmy yeah, here we go. 1, 2, 3 jimmy 1, 2, 3 [ laughter ] jimmy i know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jimmy i can do that. Yeah, like jimmy river dancing frankenstein. Yeah, we always do that, right . Jimmy yeah, yeah, of course. What are we doing . Because like yeah. [ laughter ] jimmy start from backstage . [ laughter ] ready . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy back in the business. Blake lively [ cheers and applause ] that is all for tonight show dance battle. Our thanks to blake lively. Stick around. 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If we can use dna to diagnose the rarest of diseases, imagine what we can do for the conditions that affect us all. Imagine what we can do for you. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we just love this person. She is a very talented actress and writer. This is her first book here, were going to need more wine stories that are funny, complicated and true, which is available tuesday october 17th. Please welcome the very lovely Gabrielle Union [ cheers and applause ] e jimmy youre the greatest. Come on. Welcome back to the show. We love you. Thank you for having me back. Jimmy please. Im psyched. I want to talk about this book. Im very excited about it. Yeah crazy, right . Im an author. This is insane. Jimmy yes. Youre in the library of congress. This is true. Really [ applause ] first i want to wish you a a happy early birthday. Right . Isnt your birthday around the corner . Yes. October 29th. Jimmy october 29th is your date of birth. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. Jimmy what do you do . You always do fun parties. Whats your theme this year . This year the theme is sweat suits and sneakers. Jimmy yeah. Yeah the themes are always kind of geared toward people actually dancing jimmy yeah. And having no excuse not to dance and getting sweaty. Jimmy what were the other ones . You did pajama jammy jam. We did pajama jammy jam. We did old School Pep Rally where you had to dress up in your Old High School like from your high school or your College Jimmy thats awesome. We did 80s miami vice. Jimmy oh. But, we had like live alligators. [ light laughter ] jimmy thats fantastic. I mean, of course. Jimmy of course. One must. Yeah. Jimmy if you want to dance you have to have alligators. Right alligators. Jimmy yeah, of course. And 2 live crew. So that was a great yeah. Uncle luke, it aint no party if uncle lukes not there. Jimmy oh, my god. The real 2 live crew . Oh, yeah. Jimmy oh, fantastic. It was a good night. Jimmy and i want to get to the book. I want to say congratulations on being mary jane. Thank you. Jimmy its wrapping up after four seasons. Yeah. Jimmy but, youre wrapping up with almost the way you started right . With the movie. Jimmy yeah. Yeah. Jimmy well, im psyched about this. Everyones psyched. But everyone has a different idea of what mary janes happily ever after should look like. Jimmy well how did i mean, the show started, wasnt there a movie [ inaudible ] week. Jimmy and then people loved it. So, go off and make it into its almost fitting that it ends yeah. Jimmy are, you is it bittersweet . Its bittersweet. Shes one of my favorite characters ive ever played. Jimmy yeah. And shes completely imperfect. There was the bedwetting stage, which was adult bedwetting not as fun. Jimmy no. But it is she had a really hard time keeping a man during the peeing stage. Jimmy yeah. Oh, was that me . Sorry. [ laughter ] jimmy one of us wet the bed. Yeah. Lets talk about this, were going to need more wine. Yeah. Jimmy how did you think of the title for this one . You know, i wanted the book to feel like a conversation with friends. Jimmy yeah. And when im with my friends telling tales out of school, we have wine. So, if the conversation starts off, like girl, hold up, were going need more wine. [ laughter ] jimmy all you need is girl . Girl. And its wait, hold up, hold up. We need bring them all back i need a a chardonnay. Jimmy yeah. But yeah, and i just wanted it to feel like an honest conversation. Jimmy could you give us an example of one of the stories in the book . Okay. Theres jimmy its great. So funny. But it goes all over the place. Yeah, we cover a lot of ground. Jimmy its so fun. Its really entertaining. One of the funnier stories that i can tell, is called who hates you most . Theres a chapter called who hates you most . And we were during a a tornado warning, watch or whatever. So were all taking shelter and bored. And someone was like, okay, who hates you most in the world . And i was like, ive got a a story that tops all stories. [ laughter ] jimmy this ones a this girl and this is like from high school. She was like evil comment sections, like but as a real person. [ laughter ] and her commitment jimmy evil comments section but as a real person. Yeah. Her level of commitment to my pain was so thorough. Jimmy oh, no. Like id never met her. She was the best friend of the girl that had dated a guy i had dated previously. Like it was that kind of Loose Association and she decided i had to like die. And she showed up at a pep rally. You know how you have like a a big pep rally right before christmas break . Jimmy yeah. So, im sitting there in the front row. You know my little my girlfriends like you know cheerleading. And this woman imagine the predator. [ laughter ] shows up. And shes like, im going to whoop your ass, bitch [ laughter ] and everyone was like looking around. Like you know obviously she didnt go to my school. Everyones looking around like somebodys about to get their ass kicked. And, im like, i know. Its going to be crazy. Im going to watch, though. [ laughter ] and im looking around like whose ass jimmy who is she yelling at . Is she going to kick . Because this is crazy. And shes like, Gabrielle Union, you you im going to kick your ass [ laughter ] jimmy oh, my god. What . Yeah. So like security got her off got her out of school. And i immediately im shaking. Like ive had a neardeath experience and i call my older sister, who shows up at the school, and shes like, im a fight her. Im like, no, were not going to wait around. No. Weve got to get home. So but like its friday the 13th. So you know like jas you know friday the 13th. Jimmy yeah. 1 through like 17, jason pops up everywhere . So im at the mall, shopping for a Christmas Gift for my boyfriend that shes very upset about. And im coming down the escalator with my mother. And shes at the bottom of the escalator. [ laughter ] jimmy thats a horror movie in itself called the escalator. Because you have to run into her. Ive got to get down. Jimmy you take an escalator. I thought i could outrun her. I tried to turn around and run back up the escalator. [ laughter ] my mom was like no, were going to face this. Im like, you dont understand. So we get to the bottom of the escalator and she proceeds to say, im going to whoop your ass in front of your mama. [ laughter ] and im shaking. And my mom goes, i cant believe youd be afraid of a a girl with a bullet bra. [ laughter ] jimmy mom, mom stop sticking up for me. Mom stop. Shes trying to kill me. But literally for the next six months, at the nail salon jimmy you would see her. At my High School Games she would pop up like jason and literally want to kill me and always sounded like a wwe promo. Like always with ima whoop your ass [ laughter ] [ inaudible ] so cut to somebody was like whats her name . Im going to look her up on facebook. And were shooting we shoot being mary jane in atlanta. And guess where she lives. [ audience ohs ] jimmy lives in atlanta. Atlanta. Jimmy oh my goodness. I was like oh, shes going to find because her level much commitment was so thorough. Shes probably in the audience right now. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah. Shes going to be like, i told you if i ever saw you, i was going to whoop your ass bitch [ laughter ] jimmy much deeper voice now. Very deep. Very deep. Jimmy youve moved yet again yeah. Jimmy because your husband is on a new team now. New team. Jimmy hes on the cavaliers. Yes. Jimmy and youre moving to cleveland. We are in cleveland. Jimmy you are in cleveland right now. Yes. Nettie and celie have been reunited. Jimmy i mean, come on. [ applause ] thank you for that. Jimmy yeah. Thank you. Its a slow clap. [ laughter ] nettie and [ inaudible ] thank you, thank you. Jimmy well, i wanted to make sure that you had the right welcome to cleveland. Oh. Jimmy so to help us out, from one of his great cleveland restaurants, mabels bbq, here is chef Michael Symon. [ cheers and applause ] oh my gosh. Jimmy michael, come on. [ cheers and applause ] i love you brother. Jimmy how are you doing, brother . Oh, my gosh. Jimmy thats what im talking about. Michael symon, right there. I love you buddy. How are you doing jimmy thank you for doing this. A little oh my god, oh okay. I know were going to need more wine. But were also going to need more beer. Jimmy a cleveland beer. Here we go. All right, cheers. Cheers. Jimmy what to cleveland, ohio. Oh my god, it smells so good. [ cheers ] i wanted to make sure you and dwyane got some proper barbecue. So you called it last year on your show. Jimmy you did you were like, you guys are going to end up in cleveland. Im like, michael, come on. And it happened. Jimmy and i cant wait and you know how i feel about i know, weve got a little bit yeah kielbasa. Weve got ribs. Pork ribs. Oh. Weve got beef ribs. Jimmy everyone is so jealous right now. Cheers. Cheers. Jimmy i love you. Have a great oh my god. [ inaudible ] [ cheers and applause ] Gabrielle Union go get her book, were going to need more wine, available october 17th. Well be right back with music from wutang clan chef Michael Symon [ cheers and applause ] when i look at you, i look back on my life and i know what it was for. What if i struggled. What if i sacrificed. And what if i swore id succeed. So you could wake up one day with the choice to be anything you wanted. Well then, my great granddaughter. It would all be worth it. The autumn carved turkey is back for a limited time at subway. So much turkey. Fortyeight hours of protection. I dont have to reapply this, not once. Its really soft and almost velvety as you put it on. Thats like really soft. Try dove advanced care for softer, smoother underarms. Inspired by the world. Introducing vea. With real ingredients baked right in. With no artificial colors or flavors and always nongmo. Vea. Find your way to real. This is google home mini. Its the Google Assistant for your house, so it gets you. If you mumble. minions gibberish it gets you. If you talk like this add worcestershire sauce to my cart. It still gets you. Gh ok adding now. And if youre like hey google, play my love playlist. truly madly deeply by Savage Garden plays oh really . Play my love playlist. pony ginuwine plays oh yeah. It also knows the difference between you and him. Its google home mini, and the rest of the google home family. Whatd ya think . Were almost there. Um, on the jingle though, brad, i want to feel it right here. Hmmhmm. Like here, in the chest . No, no, your heart. Heart. In your heart. Hmmhmmhmmhmmhmmhmmhmm. Yes close. Close. Were almost there. Almost. I basically got it, right . Basically, almost. But youre doing great. What did i just get into . Hmm . Nothing. You are a true friend of the crown. Dilly, dilly. Dilly dilly madame susan, you are an even truer friend of the crown. Dilly, dilly. Dilly dilly what is that . This is a spiced honey mead wine that i have really been into lately. Please follow, sir brad. Hes going to give you a private tour of the pit of misery. Im sorry, what . Pit of misery dilly dilly dilly dilly heres to the friends you can always count on. Ive asked chase sapphire reserve cardmembers to find my next vacation. Uganda, what are you up to . Thats a real silverback gorilla. Im freaking out 3x points on travel and restaurants. Sapphire reserve, from chase. Make more of whats yours. When i walked through for a cigarette, thats when i knew i had to quit. For real this time. Thats why im using nicorette. Only nicorette gum has patented dualcoated technology for great taste, plus intense craving relief. Every great why needs a great how. Posting hashtag yeehaw. Hashtag i have no signal and i still cant post out here. Woah look out, coming through. Hey thomas. Howdy there joy. See joys got the new iphone with verizon unlimited. You bet i do. Best phone, best network. Americas largest, most reliable 4g lte network. She can post out here like she does in the city. Hey twelve likes. What . Likes wont get you didly around these parts. Yaaw vo when you really, really want the best, get the new iphone on the best unlimited with plans starting at 40 per line for four lines. Because everyone likes easy. Sure do. Because everyone is on the go. Because we all like to save energy, but sometimes we slip up. Reaching up. Shhh. Because sometimes we want it cool at night then toasty in the mornings. Introducing the easy to use, energy saving, adjustable from everywhere, easy on the wall and the eyes, nest thermostat e. E is for everyone. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy they are the members of one of the most influential hiphop groups of all time, whose new album wutang the saga continues is out today. Performing my only one, give it up for rza, ghostface killah, cappadonna, mathematics, featuring latorre and the roots. Wutang [ cheers and applause ] b come on check it fallons in the house come on come on questlove in the house wutangs in the house cappadonnas in the house mathematics in the house lets get em lets get em lets go girl youve got to know youll always be my only one the only one the only one baby youre the one tonight im taking off so i can make time for the one cause youre the one the only one baby youre the one yo floor seats roll five at the barclays my girls physical she wanna see beyonce lipstick from hugging me close its on the collar tomorrow night dear we gonna crash the oscars shout out to my l. A. Jeweler for the chandelier around her neck yeah my babys the best her credit line is like rza and mine combined she can ride off the lot at the drop of a dime rozay minks matching diors i cop that overseas on tours no makeup when she wake up sweatpants and the fat ass thats right watch where she laced up she playing the kitchen like Patti Labelle with a bunch of jokes all day like Dave Chappelle a checkbook queen who had a manager well and a bedroom she be doin in doin it well come on girl youve got to know youll always be my only one the only one the only one the only one baby youre the one tonight im taking off so i can make time for the one cause youre the one the only one baby youre the one look me in my eye and lie to me again tell me im only lover your best friend tell me that this moment we have would never end look me in my eye and lie to me again she had a couch in the library and a bed that led to a cemetery yeah shorty had money to call an audi wild as a prophecy iphone record me put on icloud let tmz report me oh what a girl what a world she bought me when our lips touch she likes it rough bustin like a rocket to the moon or bust past after theyve been bounced this just like she was my soul aspiration shes the type who likes sex over masturbation and tonight im giving a full emancipation like girl youve got to know that youll always be my only one the number one the only one number one the only one baby youre the one girl you taking off so i can make time for the one cause youre the one the only one baby youre the one i seen you at the five and dime wasting your time oh you shine im looking at your from behind you walk by smelling like watermelon you might make me a felon my eyeballs swelling excuse me wanna have a talk with you im sick my medicine is can i walk with you fantasy feeds after that we can cheat laying on the bed handcuffed with hard meat smacking smack it then broke nothing can stop my continuous poke compound porno flick music daddy came with it when i wrote it i went upstairs in the middle of night i seen a young lady she was coming my way i dipped my hat said how do you do youre looking mighty good in that suit girl youve got to know youll always be my only one the only one the only one the only one baby youre the one lets get em tonight im taking off so i can make time for the one the only one the only one baby youre the one hands in the air Wu Tang Wu Tang wu wu the saga continues mathematics Jimmy Fallon Wu Tang forever [ cheers and applause ] yeah jimmy come on give em a hand jimmy wutang the saga continues is out now well be right back, ladies and gentlemen [ cheers and applause ] jack why am i sitting here at jack this ridiculously long table in the middle of nowhere . Jack to invite all my friends in the industry to try this. Jack fast foods first ever ribeye burger. Jack made with 100 ribeye beef, grilled onions, a red wine glaze and creamy havarti cheese. Jack ahh, here comes the competition now. Jack and of course, since they work for my competitors, ive obscured their identities jack except for this guy. Jack he is so screwed. Jack try my new havarti grilled onion and allamerican ribeye burgers. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my thanks to blake lively, Gabrielle Union, chef Michael Symon, wutang once again [ cheers and applause ] and the roots. Oh you guys [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Thank you for watching. Have a great weekend. Hope to see you next week. Byebye, everybody thats impossible [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight tina fey. Mlb Network Analysts kevin millar sean casey, comedian matt goldich, featuring the 8g band with gene hoglan. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. Seth good evening. Im seth meyers. This is late night. Hows everybody doing tonight . [ cheers and applause ] thats great to hear. In that case, lets get to the news. Following reports that secretary of state Rex Tillerson called President Trump a moron this summer, White House Press secretary Sarah Huckabee sanders said today that trump still has confidence in tillerson

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