Transcripts For KGO Jimmy 20240702

From hollywood, its Jimmy Kimmel Live tonight. Terry bradshaw and howie long. Ronnie chan and Rashad Jennings. Plus, music from brothers osborne with cleto and the cletones. And now, jimmy kimmel jimmy, im the host of this show. Thank you for watching at home. And thanks for joining us. Please relax. I got to tell you, its not a great night to be in a crowd. Were getting hit pretty hard by covid here at the show. Three of the five members of our band, the cletones, are out sick tonight. We and i said it once, ive said it a hundred times. You shouldnt be sharing one trombone. You should each have your own. Our bandleader cleto, our drummer jonathan, our bass player, ronda, are all out with covid. I guess what, you guys werent invited to the orgy or what . The great jimmy earl and Kevin Stevens are filling in. Welcome back, jimmy. How are you . We say hello to the paxlovid five, everybody, and. I also would like welcome those of you who are still conscious after the monday night Football Game. You know, the big story in the nfl this weekend, big story every weekend is did taylor swift go to the chiefs game and why . Sure enough, she did show up in kansas city yesterday to cheer on travis kelce and also to reveal her new secret handshake with brittany mahomes. Patrick mahomes wife, which i have to say is a bummer for us because thats our secret handshake. Yeah, right. Its. Yeah, i guess it works because travis kelce had his best game of the season yesterday. He finished with a touchdown. 12 catches 179 yards and 35 friendship bracelets. So what a haul. And then today, the world was treated to a photo of taylor kissing travis on the cheek. And surprisingly, her fans are being very levelheaded about it. The reaction was muted. Just killed myself. Reasonable height difference. I am screaming. And why wouldnt you be in my pants while screaming, crying and sobbing on the floor . Of course, a perfectly normal reaction to a kiss on the cheek. I wonder if travis kelce knows that he ever tries to end this relationship. Hes dead. Hes. Theyll kill him. Its the dating equivalent of asking the mafia to go in on a restaurant with you in less important news, we still dont have a speaker of the house, and it isnt likely they will elect one soon. There are now eight candidate s for speaker, seven white men and one black man, or as republicans call it, a very diverse slate of choices. Its like a the reunion of a College Basketball team from 1955. You know, the reason theyre in this mess is because matt gaetz and company ousted the speaker, kevin mccarthy. And then they found another guy, steve scalise. They voted. He couldnt get votes. Then they went to the next guy, jim jordan. He wrestled his way in there. He couldnt get the votes, even though according to his fellow republicans, jim jordan is a super duper popular guy after, you know who he might even be, the second most popular guy in the party. What we need to do is elect jim jordan, who is the second most popular republican in the country, the second most popular republican is jim jordan, the second most popular republican in our conference, the second most popular republican in the country, the second most popular republican in the United States of america. The number two most popular republican in the entire country, arguably the most popular republican in the republican party. He is the most popular republican in the country. Jim jordan is arguably one of the most republican popular republicans in us history, the most popular republican in the United States congress was just knifed by a secret ballot in a private meeting in the basement of the capitol. Wow. That is tough. I mean, what do you do when your second most popular guy isnt popular . I mean, i guess you have to go back to the first most popular, not popular guy, donald trump challenged the election. So lets put him in jail for the rest of his life. Okay. Even though it was a crooked election, if you want to challenge the result of an election when they hound you, look what happened this weekend with two good people. They hound them and they scare them and they. But we dont get scared. We dont get scared. Ill tell you what. I dont mind being nelson mandela. More like nelson mandela. Caterson i think. But trump is in New Hampshire today rallying the stoops. You know, theres a war going on. A terrible war. One of our closest allies was vicious, attacked and there are videos now of journalists saw today that show how unbelievably vicious the hamas attack was. And whats donny dum dum talking about this . Remember when biden id like to take him to the back of the barn. I dream of that. You know what i do with him . Oh, i do it. Id hit him right in that fake nose. That fake nose. Theyd have plastic lying all over the floor because he went from fake news to fake nose. Now, later, joe biden has a fake nose. I know he has wooden teeth. I dont think i think the nose is real. By the way, how about that punching poof, poof. On thursday, one of the top election denying nuts on trumps legal team. Sidney powell pled guilty to six charges, including plotting to gain illegal access to voting machines. Powell was at that now infamous meeting on december in december of 2020 at the white house, spreading these banana headed conspiracy theories that trump found so delightful. He almost appointed her special counsel to investigate this imaginary voter fraud until the other lawyers talked him out of it. And youre not going to believe this, but trump is now distancing himself from sidney powell. He wrote, despite the fake news reports, the contrary, and without even reaching out to ask the trump campaign, ms. Powell was not my attorney and never was the old. I didnt even know her defense back works every time except for the fact that trump himself tweeted in 2020, rudy giuliani, blah, blah, blah. Sidney powell and jenna ellis, a truly great team, added to our other wonderful lawyers and representatives we know she was on his legal team. She was right there standing next to rudy on the day he had sideburn diarrhea. Okay she was trumps lawyer. Meanwhile trumps former Vice President at the white shadow, mike pence, is having a tough run. He might not even make the cut for the Republican Debate next month. Mr. Vice president , if you dont qualify for this next debate, will you drop out of the race . Well, were working really hard to qualify for the debate and its going to be down in miami and lots of people are going to mike pence, 2020 4. Com. And making a contribution to give us the numbers in contributions that we need to qualify. Are they though. I feel like theyre not i feel like nobodys on that website at all. Not only is the Pence Campaign in debt, mikes having trouble getting people to even show up at his events. When im about to show you is what i believe to be the saddest photo show in president ial campaign history. This is a mike pence event at a drug store in sydney, iowa. Now this is i want you to look at this really closely because there are more multivitamins than people in this photograph. I mean, look at all the major side effects are represented here. Youve got drowsiness. Youve got thoughts of suicide and difficulty urinating problems, operating heavy machinery. Three headache see the irritable bility. And of course, you have erectile dysfunction right there. But its heartbreaking. Its really there are four there are four empty chairs. Its like they were hoping 20 people would show up and they only got 14. Oh, man, its the guy. This guy is so bored. Hes hes staring at the cough drops on the shelf. The energy in this photograph, it doesnt say were here because were excited. The Vice President is in our town. The energy says we were promised donuts and where are the donuts. Speaking of embarrassing, this was going on around the internet last week. I dont know if you saw this. This is a clip from the nfl edition of celebrity wheel of fortune. The contestants were marcellus wiley, jared allen and former running back and dancing star Rashad Jennings, who had a little bit of trouble getting into the end zone. There are six ends which should help you out. Let him come up. Well, thats thats right. Thats okay. Okay. Now now, you know what . This is bad, right . Why dont i know that letter . I dont. I dont know. I dont know. I wish i could help. I really do. But if you can buy some time by spinning the wheel, im gonna spin it. Chuck austin, 600 p no, no, no. Im sorry. Its the great director, Quentin Tarantino. Its hard to fathom when youre sitting watching at home how Something Like that happens. So we thought we might go directly to the source to find out. So please welcome the most unfortunate wheel of fortune contestant for 2023, Rashad Jennings. Rashad. Coming. I appreciate it. And sean, i got to tell you, ive been thinking about you all weekend and what must have been going. What happened exactly . Be there. Well, what happened was i was wrong. I had i had one of the things we like to call a brain fart. And it happened at the most inopportune time, but i had a good time. It was for charity. It was a good call. Had you heard of Quentin Tarantino . No, i have. I love his movies. Oh, youve seen his movies . Yes. Im not oblivious to him. Okay. But why when that happen, the not having the first letter, i was just like, uh, brain fart. And as soon as it popped up, i knew. Yeah, well, we all knew once it popped up. Yeah well, yeah, it was the only letter, but it was a good time. It was a good time. Well, we thought it would be right to give you a chance to redeem yourself here. And give me another. So we have some puzzles on the wall, and each ones missing a letter. And are you ready to do this . Im nervous, guillermo. Come on in. Guillermo you are our wheel spinner. This is a wow. Great thats so was like everybodys favorite aunt at a wedding. All right. Lets look at our first puzzle on the wall. The category is movies, titles, movie titles. Rashad all right. Am i think its a g. Is it a g . It its yes. All right. Next one category is snack book. Thats tough. Thats tough, jimmy. But i do love some milk and cookies. Im gonna go with an m, it is milk and cookies. That is exactly right. We also would have accepted milk and cookies. No, we wouldnt have. All right. Okay. Next puzzle. All right. Okay. This is you got to get two letters here, but theyre the same letter. All right. Tv shows the category is there a k . Is there a k . Is there a k . Vanna. All right. I think youve proved your point. And show congratulations. We do have some gifts for you. Okay . Yes. Would you mind . Yes. Bringing us. If you redeemed yourself, you solved all the puzzles and youve won the grand prize, which is a box set of every Quentin Tarantino movie. Wow. The wheel of fortune board game and a crossword puzzle book with almost all the letters already filled in. All right, thats for you. Congratulations. Thank you very much. So, jimmy, its a pleasure being on this show with you, man. You actually im humbled to meet you because when i was on dancing with the stars, you had guests that i was going to win. Yeah. Before oh, thats right. One, i want to say thank you so much. Hey, thanks. Im glad you won once. There you go. One time. And i got a free shot. Danny, everybody. Dont you have a podcast . Rashawn . I do. I do. Im starting a podcast just because we make mistakes, but i always land on my feet right. Okay. One of the things about this podcast, putin excuse me, the Quentin Tarantino. No, putin is the leader of russia. Yeah, yeah. Let me let me see. Hes not the guy that youre looking for. Yet another mistake. But seriously, on my podcast, we have fun and talk about mistakes that people have in life and how they land back. Good. All right. So you actually have parlayed this on youtube. All right. Very good. Check it out. Jenny everybody have a good show. Ronny chang is here. The brothers osborne are here. Well be right back with Terry Bradshaw and howie long. Abc Jimmy Kimmel Live brought to you by allstate. Some people just know theres a podcast about that. Those are the people who know to choose allstate. Big tea drinker. Yeah, theres a podcast about tea. He knows and he wants you to know too. I was listening to a podcast on if dogs know their dogs. Theres a podcast about that, just like hed want you to know about allstate. Theres a podcast about fly fishing called why is that person doing that . Its called terrific. Are you listening to a podcast . Yeah, its about multitask thing. Some people just know it as a podcast about that. Those are the people who know youre in good hands. With allstate. So this is the place is that Crown Molding . Did you do that . Hold on. Are you on the raisin bran crunch . Good boy. Do you want to see the kitchen . Oh seven. Oh, honey, me , honey. Nyquil severe honey powerful cold and flu relief with a dreamy honey taste. Nyquil, honey, the nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching fever, honey licious besley with a cold medicine. Its another ultimate, endless shrimp flavor. Dry with new tequila, lime shrimp, one of seven endless choices right now, only at red lobster. Welcome to fun dining when you can save on targets. Good. And gather groceries and all the fall flavors. When Quality Ingredients bring more to the table and when youre serving up taste they love at low prices. Thats totally target in nfl plus i guess live local and prime time games on my phone and i catch every touchdown every sunday afternoon on nfl red zone catch it all and start streaming nfl plus today plans start at 6. 99 a month. Wait, wait, what . Oh, fudge. Oh here you go well thats us. Keebler fudge stripes. Magic is here, and i feel swift here for flex super wide duck tape. Just check out how wide this is. Its so wide. We built this race food. Not only can it speed across the water, but our super strong backing can take a pounding and our powerful adhesive holds the boat together. Now, thats what im talking about. Woo hoo get flex, super wide duct tape. Dance like the world on abc and stream on hulu there. Welcome back to the show tonight. He is the Senior Correspondent on the daily show. You can see him live on the love to hate it tour. Ronnie chang is with us and then later, is their new selftitled album, music from brothers osborne. Hey, we got new shows this week with tiffany haddish, meg ryan, david duchovny, eric andre, jeff ross, joe walsh, Olivia Rodrigo and tate mcrae too. So please join us for all that. Our first guest tonight have been on fox together for almost as long as homer and marge. They have a whole handful of super bowl rings and are celebrating 30 seasons of fox nfl sunday. Please welcome hall of famers Terry Bradshaw and howie long. Was already hurting people. Terry, youre too strong. You dont realize how strong you are. You i know youre being friendly. You love youre like an orangutan. You hit me in the head and i was like, dude, like, its heavy. Youre looking. Yeah, hes heavy. Hand. Let me ask you a question before you get into your notes that you have right there. Put those aside. Shows not doing well, evidently, because youre dressed in black. Are you doing a funeral afterwards . I mean, what are you doing . A childs magic show after aids. I mean, what what are you wearing . Youve got a yeah. So you thought you were this funny when you were with us. So we actually ran. You did a skit of terry. I saw that were going to show that a little later. Yeah i thought i enjoyed seeing that. I really i loved were. I know you guys hated me when i was there, but i loved working with you guys for me, too. Strong word. But it is. I do want to start off seriously and say that it is remarkable that you guys have been doing this for 30 years. You were number one the day you started and youre still number 130 years later, consist lee the whole time. And i know many people have come after you guys it its special. It really is. Youre 20 years on this show so you know what is that how many years youve been here . 20. Almost 21. Yeah its been a long time. Yeah. Time flies, doesnt it . Yeah. I mean, you guys and youve been the nucleus of this show. You guys have been there since the beginning. Really . Together i actually auditioned. I was hired first. Right and then brought in to put the show together. The david hill wanted. And this was the first guy i auditioned. I brought i flew out. Howie came on with a stack of notes, which is only howie would do because hes so well prepared. Howie is well prepared. And that did not go well for type of show that david hill wanted to work. You know, as a player, you never watch the shows at that time. I never watched a pre game show. Youre getting ready. I thought, well you know, this is the kind of show theyre going to do. And no one told you the kind of show and what they were looking to do is something totally different. I spoke to the commissioner, five coaches. Id watched five games. You know, i had this much. Meanwhile, terry cant even read ten. Hey, is that not true . I got my ged. Come on, man. All right. My man. Trust me, hes. Hes road that jed clampett, beverly hillbillies thing all the way to the bank. Hey, what you folks dont realize kimmels a big star. Oh, no, no, no, no six, the hosted the academy awards. And when we knew him. You gotta be kidding. He was in the back seat of our just goes to show we would tell him shut up. It just goes it just goes to show you be careful how you treat people. I mean that guy with the electric mower, he could be hosting the grammys in five years. Hey where is that guy . Yeah. I love you. Yeah, he might well be. Who knows . Yeah. There he is. Theres jim. Yeah uncle jimmy. Now that jims a tv star, do you feel differently about him . I think the answer is no. Yeah but lets get back to you guys, because it is a very special relationship you have. When i was working there, you guys shared a dressing room. Do you still share a dressing room . They split us up to go, oh, they split up because of cover. Yeah. All right. But you never, like said, hey, i want my own dressing room. Ive been here ten years. No, i like we. We enjoy feelings mutual. Yeah, i saw things in that room that nobody should see. Its nice knowing that as you strip down, you got to worry about anybody bothering you, you know, because you got the big guy there. Hes attracted all the attention. Yeah, weve been together a long, long time. I mean, you know, my boys were nine, five and four when i first got there. And two of them ended up playing in the nfl. And terry and i covered one in the super bowl, and we nfc championship game. You have great sons, too. Theyre theyre really good guys. They take after their mama. Yeah no, they take after both parents but do they think of terry are you like an uncle to them . Are you. He is as i was when they were younger. I mean, they got kids now except for little howie who just recently got married. He just got married. But the other two. Yeah. You john candy and uncle buck. Think think uncle buck with a shreveport accent. And a great story is we were doing a bowl game down in louisiana. Yeah, yeah. Notre dame lsu. And im up in the room, you know, studying, doing what i do and studying and low and behold, i get a call from the bar. Yeah. Terrys guy, jeff, and he says, look, youve got to come down here, you know, theres trouble. And i said, you know, not only is there trouble, but my kids are in the bar and hes feeding them beers. How old are the boys at this time . Their boys are teenagers. Yeah yeah, theyre teenagers. And its not a eight and nine. Its not a level. I did that for you. Its not a level three offense, but yeah, so it turns out the guy guy in the bar had said to terry, you know, whos the best quarterback in louisiana . And he said, well, who . He said, bert jones. And he said, with a little more graphic language. And terry goes up and hugs him and takes a little nibble out of his ear. Big nibble. Yeah big nibble. So here i am. Im walking in, thankfully , the guy, i think it was a walk on at lsu or something and you know, he was kind of wasnt a civil person. So we could kind of you bite him and it would be okay, brush it under the rug. Yeah, right. Hey, he deserved it. And i said, what are you doing . Giving the kids beers . Yeah right. And biting people around the children. By the way, the funny thing about that, thats the first time howie had ever broadcasted a Football Game from the booth. Yeah, so were up there in howie. It was funny. Totally prepared. And i am to look, i do my work. And so were up there and david hill, the chairman of the board of fox sports, is there, and ed gordon, whos the head of talent, and howie are in the booth and, howie, we figured it out. Howie has never done a game. So how will you do defense and ill do offense. Well get out of the sugar bowl here and were going to be great. So howie, does defense im offense in the first half goes by we look at each other oh, high five, man. Thats great. You did great, howie. Oh, man. Yeah, it was fabulous. And comes there. Ed gordon, head of broadcasting teams. You got to be kidding me. That is the worst. I have ever heard in my life. And he used language that you really dont want to use. And im over there going, look, ive done this before. It wasnt that bad. But thats ed gordon. You just let him. He chews our out. So im like, how is how hes sensitive, how he goes, wow, are we that were in trouble . Are we in trouble . I said it wasnt that bad, big guy. It wasnt that bad. It comes. David hill, chairman of the board, ed gordons boss. Fantastic you guys are great. Fantastic you guys are amazing. We. I told. I tell howie, lets go with that. Thats what you got to do. Yeah, im going with the big guy. Jerry bradshaw and howie long are here from fox nfl sunday. Well be right back. Portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by vinfast charge. A different path. For more information, go to vinfast. Autos. 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Did i mention bmo has more feefree atms than the two largest us banks combined . Uh, bmo . Just beemo, actually. Quick question, will all this stuff fit in your car . should i get rid of the mug . Bmo got a prize . Me or go by the name of daryl. So im going to go with dee that your final answer . Yes siree, it is. Oh, im sorry, terry, but the correct answer is b, paris. Aw, shucks. What in tarnation, who is writing these questions, Alfred Einstein . Jimmy Alfred Einstein. Gronk says is that terry . [ laughter ] thats the late Regis Philbin and the late jimmy kimmel. You guys are going to be on his show. He pioneered the company here. I was going to be on his show. Im not going now. Jimmy well, thank you for changing your mind. By the way, youre wearing the same suit you were wearing yesterday on the show. Yeah, i am. Im not ashamed. This is a nice suit. It cost 500, and im going to wear it ten times whether you like it or not and get my moneys worth. You got a problem with it, let me know this is a nice suit. [ cheering ] jimmy the suits fine, yeah. What a thrill, though, for you to have somebody like gronk on the show to make you appear like the wise elder statesman. I mean, really. He thought that was you for real . Thats insane. I cant explain that one. Thats just wrong. Thats wrong what youre doing right now. Gronks great. Jimmy oh, see a lot of fun for sure. He really is. Jimmy i dont think terry an gronk can coexist, you know what im saying . Of course we can. Nasa calls once a week. Jimmy you guys have been all over the country, all over the world. You go on these trips. You go to military bases, et cetera. Over the years, weve been everywhere. Jimmy everywhere. And gronk cant go on those with you. Its too much crazy. He must be, what is it like babysitting terry on one of these trips . Well, weve been on so many of them. Weve been aircraft carriers. I dont know why they stick us together. They always bunk us up. He is in the top bunk. And you dont really know what that looks like until youre in it. And there is a little tv in the corner. Its a 6 by 9. Yeah, yeah. It is a bunk bed. He said i want the top bunk. Okay. You want the top bunk, great. So unbeknownst to me, he is watching black and white movies all night on this one tv that has a vhs in it. And he puts a vhs in, he starts to climb up, and hes got your dads tightywhitey bvds. That image is seared in my head. Hey why are you staring now . Why you staring . There must be [ applause ] there must be more to this than i know. The other is we were on a c17 headed over the afghanistan. And theyve got these crates that are four feet tall, seven feet, eight feet long. And we dont know whats in the crates, and we dont know know why theyre in there. Here we are in the back of the plane. We got on the back of the plane purposely and are sitting next to each other, very back. Very back. The back of the plane opens up. Were over afghanistan. The whole back of the plane opens up, and all of the sudden this hand comes over. Hes holding my hand. Hes in a kevlar helmet and a kevlar vest. Why are we in kevlar helmets and vests . Snipers. No one told us this before the flight. And now theyre going to shoot these things out of the back of the plane. He is holding my hand. Michael is looking over at us like there is something wrong with these two. Who couldnt be any more different. Didnt you guys go to the vatican once . We did. The vatican. If you have not been to the vatican, you cant hey, young man that mows that ladys garden, look, you cant take the train, all right. The train wont get you to the vatican, if you know what im saying. So we fly to rome. Yeah we fly to rome. Ive never been to rome now. If were in rome, before we take the van down to south to hop on the chopper to go out to the mediterranean on the uss harry s. Truman, weve got see st. Peters and weve got to see the coliseum. Terry says all right. Well go see st. Peters. Were in line. Hes got his hat on. Im not catholic. Yeah, the whole guilt thing. You got all that its built in. So were in line. And we get close to the door, look, you got to take your hat off. He says okay, guy tot take my hat off. Take my hat off. We get into the building in st. Peters. And i look up. He wasnt even there. Seriously you go see him, dude didnt even show up. Jimmy the pope you mean . St. Peter. Jimmy oh, st. Peter. Im looking at the room. Im look at the room. Come on, work with me [ laughter ] its like trumpets are playing in your head. Its the most magnificent. It was. And all of the sudden i hear water splashing behind me. He is playing with the holy water. [ laughter ] washing my hands. I said terry. Im going into a holy place. I thought it was to wash your hands. The guy up front with the uzi is part of the vaticans private police. [ laughter ] jimmy unbelievable. Hey, someone clue me in before these things. I wouldnt do it. Look at this, this man for all his tomfoolery has a statue, a statue that was erected. [ cheering ] jimmy at louisiana tech. Hey, you never thought id have a stat you. Jimmy thats pretty good, terry. I have to say. Peyton manning is not the only quarterback that has a statue. Jimmy did you pose for this sta statue . This is an old pose. Its a college photo. Jimmy the hair. Im 21 years old there. Jimmy wow. My brother, gary, took that picture. How great is that . And i never had a football picture. And so i just got drafted by the steelers, and i need people wanting pictures. [ cheering ] so i i asked my brother who is a good photographer, hey, will you take a picture of me in the football uniform . I went and got the uniform, put it on. There is this guy, i call him gaddis, a mark here, mark there, one two, three, and he would take the picture. And he had you all set up for that. All i did is going out there, kick my left leg up, put my arm up. My brother goes click, and thats the picture. Jimmy nice your brother took the picture. I had to call and tell him. He didnt know anything about that. Jimmy how cool is that. Its great to you guys here. We love seeing you. Every five years works for howie. It wont work for me because ill be 80 in five years. Jimmy i have a feeling youre going to be just fine. You think so . Jimmy yes. I really do. I think youre going to be 112 and still on this show. Fox nfl sunday, every week, 12 noon eastern on fox. Terry bradshaw and howie long, everybody well be back with ronny chieng. If your moderate to severe Crohns Disease or Ulcerative Colitis symptoms are stopping you in your tracks. Choose stelara® from the start. And move toward relief after the first dose. With injections every two months. Stelara® may increase your risk of infections, some serious, and cancer. Before treatment, get tested for tb. 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Please welcome ronny chieng [ cheering ] jimmy hows it going . Its good. Jimmy ronny, do you have your own face your honor socks . Yeah, i got my face on my socks. Jimmy wow, youre not kidding around. Thats something. Are those available . Or is that the only pair . It can be any asian you want. But this is technically me. My inlaws make socks in australia. Jimmy is that right . So this is my inlaws familys business. Jimmy you married into a sock family . Wow. All the socks are made in australia by happy human adults. [ laughter ] jimmy did you take the night off from the daily show tonight . Yeah. I quit the job to come and be on this show. Jimmy oh, thank you, thank you. Turkey, come and visit. I really appreciate. Jimmy we had a lot of fun last time you were here. Last time, i dont know if you remember, this you had just gone to singapore for i think 48 hours just to visit your mom. You went and singapore is very, very far away. Yep. Jimmy and your mother refused to take two days off while you were there from her job. Yeah, she wouldnt. It was the pandemic and singapore just opened back up. Went to go see her. I had two days. I went there for two days. And she kept working through the two days. So i didnt even get to see her. Jimmy i hope she at least got employee of the month or Something Like that for that. They love her. She is indispensable. I got to see her again recently. Jimmy how is she doing . She had a little bit of a health issue, but she is doing okay, luckily, because thank goodness. Singapore has a Great Health Care system. They have the best doctors. Shout out to the singapore doctors, my mom. Singapore is singapore is technically a blue zone. Jimmy it is . Thats what they call places where its really, really hard to die. You have to try really hard to die there. Its almost impossible. The only way you can die in singapore is if you bring drugs into the country, then the government will kill you. But the government will keep you alive if you dont bring drugs into the country. I dont know, any agents out there who have troublesome clients they want to get rid of, book them a tour. Jimmy do you perform in singapore when youre there . Yeah, i just did a show. I havent done a show in singapore in four years. I did a show in singapore last month. I didnt know how it would go, but the tickets sold really well. Jimmy great. And my mom was really excited. I havent been back to do perform there in so long. And my mom, she is not in show business. She basically asked me for 100 comps. Jimmy oh, really . For the show. Oh, youre coming back . I need 100 comp tickets. And im like well, this all costs money, you know. Yeah, yeah, but its for everyone i work with. I work so hard, i want to bring all my colleagues there. Jimmy 100 people . You dont have 100 friends. Jimmy right. Who are these hundred people . And comedy is the thing you want people who want to be there. She was inviting people, they didnt even like me. They didnt want the hear it. And because my mom invited them, they peld felt obligated to go. I gave 100 comps. Jimmy you did . I did. She is my mom. Have to do whatever she asks. All right. Now youre going to meet them before the show, right . Im not meeting 100 strangers before the show. Its not a wedding. Its not a wedding. Im not greeting people coming in, doing the show. Im not going to greet them when they leave. Like standup comedy, the one i do is very oneway. I love my audience in the aggregate. Jimmy yeah. Individually, theyre terrible. [ laughter ] too many dumb questions. Jimmy is it possible, i dont know if youve entertained this thought, is it possible your mother is a ticket scalper . If she scalped, that means she made money off it. She gave it out. Jimmy you didnt catch her driving a new car or anything . No, no, no. Jimmy over the summer, you threw out the first pitch at the mets game, the new york mets game. Yeah. Jimmy which is an honor. Its something you a mets fan . I am now. Im a fan of anyone who lets me throw out the first pitch. And so i get to the stadium, and its like have you ever thrown a baseball before . Im like no. And everyone starts getting really worried. You warm up, warm up with the catcher right now. And you dont want to do a 50 cent. What does that mean . Apparently 50 cent did a first pitch where it went so bad it went all the way to delaware. Jimmy it was very bad, yeah. It was a very bad pitch. Embarrassing. So now i started getting stressed. This is the most natural motion humans know. Jimmy pretty good. You look all right. But everyone start freaking out. Im practicing how to throw a ball beforehand like i was warming up to interest game. And i told the mets that i have this torn labrum in my right shoulder from doing martial arts. Was that a lie . No, its true. So im going to throw through the pain here. I got to show up for this team that was nice enough to get me to throw a first pitch in a part of the season that doesnt matter whatsoever. Jimmy yeah, yeah yeah. Which for the mets is a lot of the season usually. Right. And so i went out to throw it, and but i made the mets make it clear to everyone watching that i am throwing injured through this. Jimmy how did they make that clear . The announcer. The announcer. Jimmy oh, you worked your injury into your yeah. Jimmy all right. Well, lets take a look at the video here. Ronny is pitching with a torn labrum in his right shoulder. So please be careful, ronny. Our ceremonial catcher is tim la castro. All right, ronny, its your pitch. Jimmy okay. Oh, no is that real pain . That is that is all real pain, man. Jimmy wow. I got to tell [ cheering ] jimmy i think in a way, im a mets fan perfectly sums up what its like to be a part of the mets organization. You go in with high hopes. You also go in with excuses. You suffer a catastrophic injury of some kind. But at the end, youre smiling. Yeah. Glad to be part of the team. Jimmy well, its great to have you here. Ronny chieng, everybody. Go see ronnys tour. Tickets on sale for love to hate it tour. Tickets go on sell tomorrow and the daily show too. Well be back with more. If youre like me, one of the millions suffering from pain caused by migraine, nurtec odt may help. Its the only medication that can treat a migraine when it strikes and prevent migraine attacks. Treat and prevent, all in one. Dont take if allergic to nurtec. Allergic reactions can occur, even days after using. Most common side effects were nausea, indigestion, and stomach pain. Relief is possible. Talk to a doctor about nurtec odt. vo ultimate endless shrimp is here relief is possible. With a limited time flavor drop. New crispy dragon shrimp. One of seven endless choices. Right now, only at red lobster. Welcome to fun dining. [ am pm by notd begins. ] when targets threshold decor welcomes more seasonal style for less. When rewards come with quality and coziness. And when you get low prices on the trends you love. [ am pm by notd ends. ] thats totally target. Whether someone is across the neighborhood, across the street, or across the room, you have the power to make them feel right at home. Ritz. A taste of welcome. Psst hey, jake from state farm you know whats really scary . Popcorn with no butter. No getting insurance. I mean, what if the jargon makes me feel alone and in the dark . Hey, at state farm, were there for your what ifs. aaah sorry. Is that seat taken . Get on up here, buddy. Lets go lets. Oh. Want some water . Yeah. I threw my cup at you. I saw. Like a good neighbor, state farm is there. ® call or click to get a quote today. Experience the art of High Pressure like a good neighbor, state farm is there. ® brewed coffee and espresso with the lor barista system. Enjoy richer, bolder flavors complete with velvet smooth crema. Now brewing peets coffee. Big moment here for charles who ate a big ole bowl of raisin bran crunch and packed a downright immaculate carryon. Big chuck, you sock rollin son of a. For moderate to severe Crohns Disease skyrizi is the first il23 inhibitor that can deliver remission and visibly improve damage of the intestinal lining. Serious allergic reactions and an increased risk of infections or a lower ability to fight them may occur. Tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms, had a vaccine or plan to. Liver problems may occur in Crohns Disease. Control of crohns means everything to me. Ask your gastroenterologist about skyrizi. Control is everything to me learn how abbvie could help you save. Jimmy this is their selftitled album. Here with the song goodbyes kickin in, brothers osborne [ cheering and applause ] the echo of the front door slam drowns out i dont give a damn wasnt losin sleep at all mm heard that song a hundred times ninetynine, i didnt mind but this time it just set me off ive been gettin over you just fine but somehow somethin mustve flipped a switch tonight like that first cigarette like that second shot of whiskey then chase it with regret yeah the goodbyes kickin in went from feelin right just the right amount of tipsy to the wishin you were with me yeah the goodbyes kickin in yeah yeah yeah the goodby . S kickin in i keep lookin at my phone thinkin you will but bettin you wont be the one who breaks down first had one too many two drinks ago it just hit me im alone its about to go from bad to worse burn like that first cigarette like that second shot of whiskey then chase it with regret yeah the goodbyes kickin in went from feelin right just the right amount of tipsy to the wishin you were with me yeah the goodbyes kickin in woah woah oh woah im sayin goodbye sayin goodbye sayin goodbye ive been getting over you just fine but somehow somethin mustve flipped the switch tonight like that first cigarette like that second shot of whiskey then chase it with regret yeah the goodbyes kickin in went from feelin right just the right amount of tipsy to the wishin you were with me yeah the goodbyes kickin in yeah, the goodbyes kicking in [ cheering and applause ] we made it bmo has arrived. Hello . You said it. Hello to more ways to save money, grow your wealth, grow your business. Just what we needed, another big bank. Not so fast. How many banks do you know that reward you for saving every month . Hes got a good point. Did i mention bmo has more feefree atms than the two largest us banks combined . Uh, bmo . Just beemo, actually. Quick question, will all this stuff fit in your car . should i get rid of the mug . Bmo jimmy thanks to Terry Bradshaw, howie long, ronny cheing, Rashad Jennings and brothers osborne. That was fun. Apologies to matt damon. We ran out of time for him. Nightline is next, thank you for watching, goodnight. This is nightline. Tonight, hostages released. Two israeli women set free just hours ago. Hamas video of the handover. What could this