Up his hands in a celebratory manner. [ laughter ] lou from hollywood, its Jimmy Kimmel Live tonight wanda sykes, cassidy hutchinson, and music from lany. With cleto and the cletones. And now, jimmy kimmel [ cheers and applause ] jimmy very nice. Thank you. Thank you, i appreciate it. Welcome. Im jimmy, im the host. Thanks for watching. Thank you for joining us on a very special day, a very holy day of guacamole here in the united states. It is National Taco day today. [ cheers ] why would they have taco day on wednesday . Isnt tuesday the taco day . Guillermo yeah, taco tuesday, yeah. Jimmy everything is so screwed up. [ laughter ] did you get that text from the Emergency Alert system today . The federal government let everyone know our phones would be getting an alert message at 2 20 eastern, 11 20 a. M. Our time today. Everyones phones made a terrible noise at once. And of course, because everyone is crazy now, the conspiracy goblins were out in force warning anyone who will listen that its all part of the globalist plan to mutate us when the vaccines get hit with 5g. [ laughter ] pathogens can be released by different frequencies. Pulsed through the 5g network. If you got the shots, the odds are, according to u. S. Law, that you are owned by the patent owners. You are a new species. The worstcase scenario is it activates people and makes them aggressive, and we see the hutus and the tutsis recreated in america. Theres worse parts to it, including a gene deletion that effectively will turn those poor people into zombies. [ laughter ] jimmy into zombies. The phones are gonna turn us into zombies. Our phones already turned us into zombies. [ laughter ] and by the way, zombies eat brains. None of you guys have anything to worry about. [ laughter ] but if you were concerned that your phone will somehow trigger a zombie transformation, there was a simple thing you could do to prevent it. First, its important you both turn off your phones and laptops and put them in faraday bags. Theoretically or a microwave. Or your microwave. Dont turn on it, but the microwave is a faraday cage itself. Jimmy yes. Definitely turn the microwave on, put your phone in it, put it on the popcorn setting for 18 minutes. [ laughter ] try to get your head in there too. [ cheers and applause ] i mean okay. So lets break this down for a second. So these nuts think this is a conspiracy, whatever. If this was a conspiracy to turn us into zombies, why would the government announce it in advance . Just to let you know, zombie time is 2 20 eastern on wednesday. [ laughter ] in the old days, people like your dad or your uncle would think these people were crazy. But now, you even see this stuff on allegedly mainstream news channels. Season two of triple confidential is back. 5g technology. Is it the reason your grandson is a gay . We dial in on your isps some say bill gates and oprah secretly own the worlds fresh water. Facebook suggested poisoning it with fluoride to make you enjoy rap music. What are they hiding . Jews, we all know they caused hurricane katrina, but what are they planning with their space lasers . Eight planets, eight nights of chanukah, that adds up to 16. The same number of letters in Barbra Streisands name if you add an extra a here. Will yentyl go mental and blow up the cosmos . Triple confidential on fox nation, hosted by jfk jr. And sasquatch. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy the american dream. Speaking of crazy, are you following the goingson in congress . We got a new episode of the house floor is lava last night. [ laughter ] the search is on for a new speaker after the maga monkeys kicked out Kevin Mccarthy. The ins and outs of how it happened are complicated, but basically Kevin Mccarthy went through the political equivalent of getting pantsed in front of the whole school, then having a squirrel bite you on the penis. [ laughter ] mccarthy was ousted by the lunatic fringe of his own party. It is the First Time Ever in the history of this country that a speaker has been removed. Now they need a new speaker. And the klan mom, Marjorie Taylor greene, has a great idea. She thinks it should be donald trump. We want him back as president , why not make him speaker of the house . Even if its an interim speaker while we work to find another speaker. Anyone that wants to run for speaker, the only way to earn my vote is to beat President Trump. Jimmy hes never going to have sex with you, marge [ laughter ] stop it hes a married man [ cheers and applause ] as nutty as it sounds, the constitution does not require that the speaker of the house be a member of congress. Technically, any american can be the speaker. And according to sean hannity, trump might be into this. Sources telling me at this hour, some House Republicans have been in contact with and have started an effort to draft former President Donald Trump to be the next speaker. And i have been told that President Trump might be open to helping the republican party, at least in the shortterm. Jimmy did he say draft . Dont use the word draft. It gives trump bone spurs. [ laughter ] could you imagine this . There isnt enough insanity in the house right now. They want to bring in donald trump to come settle things down . The man has 91 felony counts against him, and hes in the middle of a 250 million fraud trial in new york. But that doesnt mean he isnt considering the job. Would you take the job . A lot of people have asked me about it. Im focused. I dont know im sure you know from the papers, im leading by like 50 points for president. My focus is totally on that. If i can help them during the process, i would do it. Jimmy the same guy who sent hundreds of dangerous imbeciles to poop on the floor of that same building wants to help. [ laughter ] although i guess in some ways, it makes sense. Republicans need a speaker, and the way things are going right now in court, pretty soon, trump might need a house. [ laughter ] meanwhile, Rudy Giuliani is back at the center of another trump investigation. Count drunkula is said to be in the crosshairs of special council jack smith. Federal prosecutors have reportedly been looking into rudys drinking. They want to know was giuliani drunk when he told the president to fight the election results, did trump know giuliani was drunk, and who threw up all over mike pences dockers . [ laughter ] there was a big story today in the New York Times about giulianis drinking. He strongly denies being an alcoholic, even though you can clearly see theres an espresso martini leaking out of his head. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i have to say, though, i was thinking about giuliani, and the saddest thing about it is if they werent on opposite sides of the fence, rudy and hunter biden would probably have a really good time together. [ laughter ] as you know, the Writers Strike is over. But not only are members of the actors unions still out on the picket line, today, more than 75,000 employees of Kaiser Permanente walked off the job as well. Its the largest Healthcare Strike in american history. Which is bad news for anybody they left in the mri machine. [ laughter ] kaiser employees are fighting for better pay, which they deserve, better benefits. Theyre looking for they want hospital gowns that actually cover their patients hideous butts. [ laughter ] striking employees include nursing staff, receptionists, pharmacists, and optometrists. Optometrists must make great picketers. Which middle finger looks clearer . This one or this one . [ laughter ] the Writers Strike lasted 148 days, which was a very long time for us to be out. It went on so long, guillermo and i started looking at fallback careers. Right . Guillermo thats right, jimmy, yes. Jimmy do you remember what we did . Guillermo yes, jimmy, cooking. [ laughter ] jimmy yes. We went through the want ads and found a line of work called cooking that seemed to be fun and delicious. [ laughter ] hi, welcome to benihana. Jimmy nice to meet you, thank you for having us. Youre going to instruct us in the ways of the benihana chef . Yes, rule number one, please dont cut yourself. Jimmy dont cut yourself, okay, thats good. I was planning to do that, okay. Rule number two, as you see, the grill is hot. Jimmy dont touch that either . Dont touch that either. We have to introduce ourselves for the guests. Konnichiwa. Guillermo konnichiwa. Jimmy konnichiwa. Cross and bend, three seconds. Japanese people, we bend each other. Jimmy you bend each other . Why there are so many, right, right. Next step, were going to serve the sauces. Jimmy one time i was at benihana, and i saw Rick Springfield sitting at another table. Thats my benihana story. He did the song jessies girl. You know that song . Im sorry. Jimmy you know that song . He wanted to steal jesses girlfriend from his friend because she was so attracted to him. Guillermo oh, wow. Jimmy yeah. [ laughter ] i saw him at a benihana. You ever served him . No, i dont think so. Jimmy great. Simple. One, right . And catch. You can make some noise a little bit. Jimmy make noise. Fried rice. We have egg. You know the japanese egg roll . Jimmy yeah. This is japanese egg roll. [ laughter ] jimmy people laugh when you do that . Yeah, usually. Guillermo what a great joke. Im going to close with this, right . Jimmy okay. Right now they disappear . Guillermo oh my god. Jimmy oh, wow, its like magic. Magic. Jimmy give the egg a spin, go like all right, there we go, and look at that, how many eggs are in there . I got it right here now listen, i know you got a book full of jokes, right . The chefs use . This is like the benihah of jokes. When someones cell phone rings, use the shake tore answer. Hello, pellow . Jimmy thats good. We want to get the bottom surface there cooking. Scrape from the bottom and mix, mix, mix. Guillermo oh, wow. Now were going to do the eggs. Right . Once you get this point, you can put on top of the rice. Very good. Jimmy mix it all up . All together. There you go. Guillermo what time we bring the beer . Japanese sake. Jimmy guillermo, lets focus here. Guillermo lets focus, all right. The good stuff. Jimmy thats the benihana secret. Guillermo oh my god. Jimmy yeah. Theres another trick i can show you. Guillermo what . Rice bowl. Guillermo oh, wow. No, im going to have an accident. No, its easy, trust me. One, two guillermo okay, if i drop it you got it. Guillermo hey jimmy beautiful. Guillermo you want one, jimmy . Jimmy no, im all right, thank you. Guillermo like japanese tequila. Wow jimmy wow you cut too much meat here, look at this. Guillermo im a little bit drunk, maybe. Jimmy is it okay to eat the food while youre cooking it . Do you ever have a little snack . Did you eat it . Thats not done. Jimmy still tasted good. What did a mushroom say to another mushroom . You are a fun guy. Im going to have to hire some of these writers. Guillermo yeah, thats it . Looks good, huh . Jimmy you think were ready now to cook for customers . It tastes very good. You can cook your friend, maybe. Jimmy what do you say, chef . Good job, very good. Jimmy i mean, about cooking for customers. Uh [ laughter ] oh my gosh. Jimmy hello, ladies. Guillermo how are you . How are you doing . Jimmy konnichiwa. Guillermo konnichiwa. Jimmy my names chef jimmy, this is chef guillermo. We just learned how to do this, so bear with us. Whose birthday about it . Happy birthday, teresa. Im going to tell you something, guillermos a little drunk also. Guillermo yeah. Jimmy get that rice, will you, guillermo . Are we trained for almost 40 minutes, so youre in very, very good hands. By the way, why does he have the erect hat, mine is flaccid . Do you guys know what the filet mignon said to the tbone . Nice to meatcha. Guillermo how are we doing . Jimmy now were going to hey guillermo yeah jimmy there you go, birthday girl. Watch this, birthday girl. Hey oh sorry. All right, ready . Oh there you go. Whoa were getting pretty good at this, guillermo. Guillermo yes jimmy extra rice . I know where ill put this rice, hold on. There you go. All right. Guillermo all right jimmy all right, you get to we nemade a little bit of mess here. Lets start putting that on plates. Guillermo put it on top of the rice. Jimmy putting it on the rice. Thats the new chef jimmyhana way. And weve done it. Lets have a toast to the birthday girl happy birthday. Guillermo happy birthday jimmy be honest, id like you to rate us both. Do we have what it takes to be benihana chefs . [ laughter ] are the guests happy . Jimmy happy guests. Konnichiwa guillermo konnichiwa [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we have a good tonight. Cassidy hutchinson is here. Weve got music from lany. And well be right back with wanda sykes. Thousands of women with Metastatic Breast Cancer, are living in the moment and taking ibrance. Ibrance with an aromatase inhibitor is for adults with hr her2 Metastatic Breast Cancer as the first hormonal based therapy. Ibrance plus letrozole significantly delayed disease progression versus letrozole. Ibrance may cause low white blood cell counts that may lead to serious infections. Ibrance may cause severe inflammation of the lungs. Both of these can lead to death. Tell your doctor if you have new or worsening chest pain, cough, or trouble breathing. Before taking ibrance, tell your doctor if you have fever, chills, or other signs of infection, liver or kidney problems, are or plan to become pregnant, or are breastfeeding. For more information about side effects talk to your doctor. Be in your moment. Ask your doctor about ibrance. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hello there, welcome back. Tonight, shes a former Trump White House assistant, and like many unhappy trumpers, an author. Her book is called enough. Cassidy hutchinson is with us. [ cheers and applause ] later on, a very talented duo from right here in l. A. This is their album, a beautiful blur. It came out last week. Music from lany. [ cheers and applause ] you can see lany on tour starting next year on february 13 in this raleigh, north carolina. Tomorrow night, our guests are dax shepard, nicole avant, and music from boy with uke. Please join us for that. Our first guest is a disproportionately funny human being who is nominated for three emmys, including two for her netflix comedy special wanda sykes im an entertainer. Please say hello to wanda sykes. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy its great to see you. Thank you for flying out here from your home to be here tonight, i appreciate it. Of course, of course. I mean, come on, were back, its good to be out here. [ cheers and applause ] well, technically, half of me is back. Jimmy half of you is back. The writer side, im back. The actor side is pissed. [ laughter ] jimmy hopefully theyll get that worked out. Hopefully, yes, hopefully, yes. Jimmy did you have the phone go off on the plane . I know you flew in this afternoon. Luckily, i was on the ground when the phone went off. And it was early because it was supposed to be 2 20. At 2 18 jimmy thats right. Everything went off. Im glad i wasnt in the bathroom. [ laughter ] my phone would be in the toilet right now. Scared the hell out of me. Jimmy i was waiting for it at 2 20. It scared me when it went off at 2 18. You get on a plane, do people do they get excited, want to talk to you . When they see you coming . Heres the thing. Because, you know we fly a lot. So i have, like, you know like on american, im damn near two miles away from being a pilot. [ laughter ] so i get to board early, whatever. And so i dont think people are happy to see me when i cut past wheelchairs and everything. [ laughter ] out of the way, ive got to get my drink before we take off you know. But theyre great. And man, they did a great job getting you on that plane this morning because i was so late. Jimmy were you . I was late getting to the airport. Jimmy they were helpful . Yes, yes. Jimmy wow, that almost never happens anymore. No, no, they were great. Because the flight was pretty much closed. Jimmy they let you through . I think two heart attacks, but i got on. [ laughter ] i gotta see jimmy jimmy do people ever mistake you for another celebrity . Yes. Yes. And youre going to think this is nuts. But if i tell you it happened in new orleans, youll believe it. They thought i was Lenny Kravitz. [ laughter ] [ applause ] and im so sorry, lenny. I apologize to lenny. But yeah. Jimmy thats not bad at all. I was like, good, i guess lenny must be working on his pecs, you know . [ laughter ] jimmy i know you are very interested in politics. Have you been following whats been going on this week . Oh, lord. Jimmy, its you know i want to enjoy my summer and enjoy i had to turn it off. Jimmy you did . Its so crazy. Its beyond crazy. So im a little behind. Jimmy you are . How behind are you . Im behind on the craziness. Oh, did you hear that johnny depp and amber heard are having marital issues . [ laughter ] jimmy is that right . Oh my gosh. I hope theyre able to im sure theyll come to a normal resolution. I hope so. Yeah. Jimmy you and your wife are celebrating a 15th wedding anniversary this month. [ cheers and applause ] yes. Jimmy thats a big deal. Thank you. Jimmy did you do something for 15 . Well probably just, you know, have some good oldfashioned hotel sex. [ laughter ] you know. That sounds about right. Jimmy locally . Youll go somewhere local . Ill take her somewhere. It will be a trip involved, yeah. Jimmy when you say youre going to take her somewhere, did you propose to her . I did, actually. I proposed to her, yeah. Jimmy how does that work . Forgive me for my ignorance. But could i mean, you know yeah, she would have proposed to me . Right, yeah. But you know, but shes selfish like that. [ laughter ] jimmy you do a very funny impression of your wife. No, no, yeah. Jimmy in your comedy special, your standup special. Uhhuh. Jimmy does she like when you do that . She loves when i talk about her. I dont know if she likes, you know, the way i you know. Because when that i guess when i do her shes like, uh, so uh babe, uh, do you take, you know, we can do something for, you know, like our anniversary, because we never do anything, you know, and thats the only its the gram, you know, like you know, you know, kevin hart, he take his wife and other people, they do things, and for me, pfft. I do that a lot. Jimmy the spitting. I hope you dont mind me asking, how much does she smoke . [ laughter ] she doesnt smoke at all. [ laughter ] thats just how i see her. I just see her, you know. Jimmy she smokes in your head . A beret and a scarf, thats how i see her. Jimmy she doesnt smoke . Not at all, she doesnt smoke at all. [ laughter ] she hates being around smoke, yeah. Jimmy how do you get along with her French Family . Great. I love them. They love me. You know. And plus i made sure, you know, that i led with the good foot, you know. Jimmy how . A good showing. Like when i first met her sister and her husband, i told them, i said because my wife loves George Michaels as well as i do, right . And so he was on the show in london at earls court. Hey, babe, im going to take you to see George Michael, why dont you ask your sister if she wants to go. I mean, come on, you know what im saying . Jimmy oh, yeah, played the George Michael card. Yeah, yeah, so that was great, they still talk about that. And then her mother, alex has something going on in chicago. I met her there. Her mother was there. Were sitting in the lobby at the peninsula hotel, right . And, you know, having drinks, whatever. Her mother speaks very little english, but people were coming up and, you know, asking to take a picture with me, whatever. Her mother was like [ speaking french ] thats like, what is happening . And i was like, im kind of a big deal. [ laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy shes a very big deal. Shes nominated for a bunch of emmys. Wanda sykes, everybody some people just know thats not gonna fit. Those are the people who know to choose allstate. Thats not gonna fit. Whats that . You need another four inches . Do you work here . Nope, i just saw you there and i thought id save you the trouble. Nana shes a human measuring tape. And she knows allstate is the right fit for her. Its not gonna fit. Thats not gonna fit. What . Steven . Some people just know. Well played. Well played, my friend. Those are the people who know youre in good hands with allstate. Rich, velvety. Coffee. Cafequality. Espresso. One highpressure system. That can do both. Brew to your hearts desire. With the lor barista system. Now brewing peets coffee. Is it menopause or Something Else . The menopause journey has stages. Learn about yours with clearblue menopause stage indicator. That tracks your fsh hormone levels. Combining them with your cycle data. Whats your menopause stage . Its hard to run a business on your own. With shopify, you have everything you need to bring your dream business to life. Because when we work together, the future is bright. Start your journey with a free trial today. California sky todos alcanzamos Las Estrellas sunny state of mind flexin all the time todo es dorado y nos gusta picante cause this place is caliente tamos enchilado feels so golden livin in the golden state with you feels so golden vive en el Estado Dorado oooh we got that drip, drip, drip come take a sip, sip, sip feels so golden vive en el Estado Dorado [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we are back. Wanda sykes is nominated for multiple emmys for her special on netflix called wanda sykes i am an entertainer. We were just talking about your kids during the commercials. Twins. You have 14yearold twins . Yes, 14yearold twins. Jimmy thats so crazy that theyre 14 now. I know people probably say that all the time. Yeah. Jimmy its weird. No, it is. When they say it flies by, it does. But it ages you. [ laughter ] while its flying by. I mean, its crazy. I mean, and like both of them are taller now than i am. Yeah, its nuts. Jimmy yeah. I mean, everybodys kind of taller than you are. [ laughter ] i mean, to be fair. You want to say that to Lenny Kravitz. [ laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy so at 14, is that the age where or is it earlier where you have to have the talk where you give them the talk . Heres the thing. You know, alex is french. So she probably gave them that talk when they were, like, 6. [ laughter ] i bet you, you know yeah. So im like im not even going to bother. Yeah. Jimmy its covered, its taken care of . Trust me, im sure its covered. Jimmy so how long have you been doing standup . How old were you when you started . I started in 87. Jimmy is there anything that can throw you off . Like hecklers or even just people on their phones. Is there anything that will bother you . You know, i dont get many hecklers. But its usually, like, the environment or a situation. Like, one time a guy had a seizure in the audience. Which is crazy. Then another time oh. I forgot where i was. You know, im doing a bit, but its during the setup and the audience is laughing. Theyre laughing a lot. Im like, i aint even got to the punchline what the hell yall laughing at . Someone said, its a bat by your head. [ laughter ] sure enough, there was a bat. Like, just swooping down. Jimmy did you have a gig in transylvania . [ laughter ] yeah exactly. Yeah. And im like, and yall find this funny . Hes not with me. This is not part of the act. [ laughter ] you think i shipped a bat in . Oh, this is going to be funny, wait till i do my bat bit no. Jimmy are you scared of bats . Yes. Jimmy yeah, jimmy right, yeah. They think this is a nest, you know . I just grabbed the mic stand and ran to the corner. Jimmy waiting for the bat to pass. It is funny, they always tell you that. I remember being a kid in las vegas, there were bats by the street lights. Id put my baseball glove over my head and run across the street to cletos house because they told me, your hairs like a nest. I learned as an adult, bats arent in nests, they hang from the cave ceiling, you dont have to worry about that. Unless you head looks like a ceiling. Make sure to keep your pants up then, right . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you went to see beyonce over the summer . I did. Jimmy how was that show . That was incredible. Jimmy my wife went to that show. She had they told her there was a dress code. You had to wear silver. Yes, you had to wear silver. Jimmy was yours silver too . Of course, of course. Its all silver, every show she did the renaissance tour. Come on, jimmy. You hang out with Magic Johnson and cookie, you aint learning things . [ laughter and applause ] jimmy there was no dress code, imagine. Had to wear silver. It was amazing, it really was. I had to go. When she was in l. A. , all my friends were like, yeah, well, maybe, i dont know. Then im looking on instagram, next day, everybody was at the beyonce concert. Nobody told me. Right . Yeah, so im like, shoot, ive got to go see her before its over with, because im not going to be the only black woman who did not go to the concert. [ laughter ] stuff like that keeps you out of heaven. [ laughter ] [ applause ] im sure somebody was in there with a clipper and a clipboard, like, okay, okay yeah, finally, huh . Finally decide to make it . Jimmy have you met be . I have not. We were on a flight once way back. This is when she was with destinys child. Jimmy wow, really . She smiled and waved. Jimmy she did . You didnt go over . No, i just put the blanket over my head, terrified. [ laughter ] yeah. Jimmy she went home and told her friends, i met Lenny Kravitz today. [ laughter ] [ applause ] weird. Jimmy its great to see you. I love having you here. Youre the best. Wanda sykes, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] wanda sykes im an entertainer is on netflix. 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And had thrown his lunch against the wall. Jimmy now shes spilling all the ketchup in this new memoir, enough. Please welcome Trump White House survivor, cassidy hutchinson. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy now im going to tell you, youre not under oath so dont worry. How are you . Im doing pretty well, how are you . Jimmy is this weird for you, this experience of being now on a book tour . Youre very young, you were working in the white house, youre suddenly on tv testifying in front of liz cheney. Now youve got the number one book in america. [ cheers and applause ] its surreal. I would be lying, and im very much about being honest and forthcoming. But its not something i really ever expected. Jimmy for those who dont know, you were the chief of staff to the white house chief of staff . Mark meadows. In essence. Jimmy in essence, yes. You saw many things, you shared those things with the committee which did not thrill your former employers, yes . In essence. Jimmy some of the things you shared that mark meadows and others suspected there would be violence on january 6th before there was violence. That trump wanted to go to the capitol with the crowd and physically attack the secret Service Driver trying to get control of the vehicle, which he denies, of course. Trump said that he did not care that the january 6th protesters were armed because they went are werent there to hurt him. He also told aides he thought Vice President pence deserved to be hanged. You were there for all of that. Sounds like fiction, doesnt it . Jimmy it sounds like a ridiculous book is what it sounds like. [ laughter ] unfortunately, that was the reality of our lives at that point. Thats sort of why i came well, i came forward to share truth and be more forthcoming with the committee after i hadnt been. Ive been very forthcoming about that. Jimmy you hadnt been, why . Forthcoming with the committee . Jimmy yeah. You know, so when i after january 6th, i was very outspoken, still during my tenure at the white house, about my disdain and our accountability for what happened on january 6th. Didnt go over well with a lot of my colleagues. But there was this year, year and a half in between where, admittedly, i wrestled morally with what to do. Because on one hand i wanted the truth to be out there. Desperately. But on the other hand, you know, there is this notion of loyalty in trump world, what i refer to as trump world, which is donald trump and his associates or whoever is surrounding him on that given day. Because it fluctuates and changes. Jimmy yeah, jimmy right, yeah. There is a pressure to stay loyal, especially when youre in the circle of trust. Thats the position that i had. And im not proud of it, and i have held myself to account to it. Coming around to being more forthcoming with the committee after having a trumpappointed counsel where i felt and was counseled to not be as forthcoming jimmy by lawyers . I had a crisis of moral conscience to say a little bit more that might be too generous with it, but its important for the country to hear the truth. Jimmy how often did the president throw ketchup at the wall . [ laughter ] it was jimmy this was a regular occurrence . It was. Donald trump has a i dont know if you know this or if anybodys this is i dont know. Maybe people know it. He does have a very potent fear of being poisoned. Jimmy did not know he had a fear of being poisoned. Now you do. Jimmy uhhuh . So he uses and prefers the small heinz glass ketchup bottles because he likes to hear his valet or whoevers serving him his meal, he likes to hear the pop. Jimmy really . Thats why . I thought it was because his hands were so little. [ laughter and applause ] thats for poisoning, huh . Do you think he got this fear from being poisoned by all the exwives . Or russia, i dont know. Jimmy i dont think russias poisoning him. Theres the sense, though. So he sometimes it happened once or twice a week, sometimes more. There sometimes would be a week or so lull, but then there would be a bad news story. But it wasnt just launching the food and plates and porcelain at the wall. It was sometimes just flipping the tablecloth. Jimmy when trump suggested we inject bleach into our bodies to fight covid, did you guys know that was coming . [ laughter ] it was strongly encouraged for him not to suggest that. Jimmy someone said to him, dont mention the bleach . And when somebody would say dont whatever, did you always know there was a real good chance that he was going to go with that . I think some people were naive that when you tell him not to do something, hes going to want to do it more. Jimmy they would eventually learn that lesson . Or they would keep doing that . I mean probably not, its stemcell still happening. Hes still tweeting out profanity and threatening to kill former general mark milley. Clearly he doesnt listen to people very well. Jimmy do you hear other things you guys told him not to say and that he did then say . Happened all the time. Jimmy it happened all the time . Yeah. You know, when i was writing the book, i was deliberate in what i decided to write about. I could write a lot, im sure we could talk for a very long time about what happened. Jimmy lets, lets, yeah. [ laughter ] wheres the clock . Jimmy no clocks, its like vegas. [ laughter ] its like a casino here. Now youre making me nervous. Jimmy you worked okay. I do want to ask you something nontrump related. You worked with matt gaetz and Kevin Mccarthy a lot of other members too, but yes, i did have a close working relationship with him. Jimmy these guys are now big characters in the soap opera thats going on. A lot of people say, oh, theres personal animosity between those two. You witnessed that firsthand . I did. Jimmy will you share that story with us . We were at camp david one weekend, where all good things happen, all diplomacy happens. So we had finished watching a movie with the president in the cabin jimmy what movie was it, do you remember . Once upon a time in hollywood. [ laughter ] jimmy did he like it . Thats one of hi favorites. [ laughter ] jimmy okay, Quentin Tarantino will be thrilled. [ laughter ] will he . Jimmy i think so. Hopefully. Kevin invites us all he invites several individuals, including members of congress, back to his cabin. Matt gaetz was not included. I was one of the last people to arr arrive. You have golf carts, an assigned golf cart. Matt, i dont know if he had too much to drink or what he was thinking, but he had only seen my golf cart with my name on it. He came up and knocked on the door. Kevin went and opened the door to his cabin, where a lot of people were congregating and drinking and having fun, like people do when theyre not working the halls of congress. Kevin opens the door and its matt leaning against the doorway. Stands up straight immediately. Kevin asked what hes doing. This is cassidys cabin . No, this is mine, what are you doing here . Matt what do you want . I was wondering if you could show me where your cabins at. Im like, its a circular driveway, all the cabins are labeled. Kevin looks at matt, get lost, matt. Jimmy kicked him out of the cabin . Matt was not welcome. Jimmy then matt gaetz got him kicked out of the house. [ laughter ] what goes around comes around. Jimmy i guess so, wow. Do you have another book in mind . You could probably write three or four of these, right . I think im locked out. Jimmy thats it . I feel i could queets another book out of you. [ laughter ] we already have the page limits of this one. Jimmy i mean, theres so many other things. I havent talked about his multiple lunches the president would eat. That was because some of them ended up on the wall. Jimmy oh, well, okay. That makes sense, all right. Also, he doesnt like to eat in front of other people, i dont know why. Jimmy is it true that he doesnt like to eat in front of other people . Yeah. Jimmy oh, he sounds great. [ laughter ] well, thank you for testifying. You did the right thing. And this is the book. Its called enough. [ cheers and applause ] this book title in case you dont know, when the president ordered his second lunch, cassidy said, enough. [ laughter ] then named the book. Cassidy hutchinson, everybody [ cheers and applause ] well be back with lany. We made it bmo has arrived. Hello . You said it. Hello to more ways to save money, grow your wealth, grow your business. Just what we needed, another big bank. Not so fast. How many banks do you know that reward you for saving every month . Hes got a good point. Did i mention bmo has more feefree atms than the two largest us banks combined . Uh, bmo . Just beemo, actually. Quick question, will all this stuff fit in your car . should i get rid of the mug . Bmo jimmy thanks to wanda sykes and cassidy hutchinson. Apologies to matt damon. Nightline is next. But first, their album is called a beautiful blur. Here with the song double xl, lany [ cheers and applause ] all my favorite songs are from 2018 we flew around the world with our smalltown dreams youre a superstar and you wear it so well but nothin like you in my hoodie doublexl bloodstream full of desert lightnin thank god im not drivin a blur the whole way home i still remember i will forever backseat secrets we wont ever tell i miss you doublexl miss americana and all my friends love ya back patio at the bowery hotel i miss you doublexl youve been goin out in youve been goin out in the glitter and glow hollywood fads and its startin to show im barely hangin on and im lookin for help every night without you hurtin doublexl bloodstream full of desert lightnin thank god im not drivin a blur the whole way home i still remember i will forever backseat secrets we wont ever tell i miss you doublexl miss americana and all my friends love ya back patio at the bowery hotel i miss you doublexl baby well always have california half of me will always be waitin for ya i still remember i will forever backseat secrets we wont ever tell i miss you doublexl miss americana and all my friends love ya back patio at the bowery hotel i miss you doublexl baby well always have california half of me will always be waitin for ya baby well always have california half of me will always be waitin for ya double xl [ cheers and applause ] tonight, inside uganda. People living in fear in whats considered the Worlds Largest antilgbtq law. Fears of being identified. Reporter being gay can be beneficial by death. You believe there should be the Death Penalty . For homosexuality. Reporter the secret shelters at risk for shutting down. I dont think i was p