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Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240712

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But ultimately the president didnt want to put his vice poodle at additional risk. I want to thank the commission and the university of utah for hosting this event. And senator harris, its a privilege to be on the stage. Jimmy now if they could just get him to stop humping trumps leg, theyll be set. [ laughter ] the truth is a lampshade cone would have made more sense than what team pence was fighting for, which was nothing. They wanted no extra precaution. They initially said no to a divider made of plexiglass between them. Kamala wanted it. Pences team did not. Mike pence believes that if youre going to separate a man and a woman it should be from their children at the border of the United States. [ applause ] this is my own staff booing me. Thank you, guillermo. [ laughter ] for just clapping at whatever i say. Guillermo youre the boss. Jimmy an aide for mike pence said the Vice President is looking forward to having a conversation about the marked shift left that joe biden wants to take this country. So were not going to let a barrier prevent the Vice President from making the case for four more years of donald trump. Then someone told him the plexiglass is seethrough and they went oh, okay, well do it. Having a conversation through a glass partition was Good Practice for mike pence. After january thats how hes going to have to do it when he visits his former boss at the correctional facility. [ applause ] so the plexi went up and the gloves came off. I wish kamala would have started the debate by congratulating mike pence on his great work as leader of the Covid Task Force and then just laugh like a maniac for 90 minutes. [ laughter ] it wasnt the wrestlemaniastyle debate we saw last week but there were some moments. For one a lot of people noticed that mike pence had a pink eye, which is apparently a symptom of coronavirus, which i dont know about that. A lot of gerbils have pink eyes. [ laughter ] but the big star of the debate tonight was a fly that landed quite symbolically on the Vice President s head. I assume the fly thought he was a light bulb and was attracted to his it stayed on his head for two minutes and three seconds. Technically, that fly is now his running mate. [ laughter ] but anyway, mike pences fly just became the most Popular Halloween costume of 2020. [ applause ] there was an unusual amount of focus tonight on the swine flu and fracking. Heres the story. Mike pence loves to say fracking because its the closest hes allowed to get to using a curse word. But no ones mind was changed tonight. Almost none of the questions were answered. Watching this after the trumpbiden debate was like falling asleep during a ufc fight and waking up to the Great British baking show. It was the kind of debate donald trump hates. It was polite. It was reasonable. It was orderly. It was so evenkeeled the president couldnt help but jump in. American people have witnessed what is the greatest failure of any president ial administration really . Oh, really . Excuse me, but let me shut you down for a second. Just for one second. There has never been an administration thats done this is important. Mr. President , im speaking. Im speaking. Im the one that brought back football by the way, i brought back big ten football. Jimmy he brought back big ten football. Boy, that [ applause ] the proud boy in the bubble was bursting at the inseams. He could not wait to get back in the mix. Trump tweeted 40 times in the span of two hours last night, and he played all the hits. Hillary, obama, comey, voter fraud, Nancy Pelosis hair, and then even though we have not been told that he is negative for the virus he went back to work in the oval office, which means thats where he watched tv today. But there was no official verdict from the president s doctor today that hes not contagious. But we did get an update from don jr. , who offered this unintentionally revealing snippet from his life. How is he feeling . Hows your dad feeling . Hes doing great. Its sort of amazing, even speaking to him on friday or over the weekend, literally he was rushing to get me off the phone because he had calls he had to make and work he had to do for the American People. I mean, its sort of amazing. Some things never change. Hes always been that way for his entire life. [ laughter ] jimmy oh, don jr. , thats not why he was rushing you off the phone. [ laughter ] well the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon that is one of the saddest things ive heard on fox news. But daddy donald is very busy touching himself through lou dobbs for an hour every night and making History Today as the first u. S. President ever to endorse a prescription drug. They gave me regeneron. And it was like unbelievable. I felt good immediately. I felt as good three days ago as i do now. These i view these, now they call them therapeutic, but to me it wasnt therapeutic. It just made me better. Okay . I call that a cure. Jimmy well, i think thats called therapeutic. But this is like an infomercial even Chuck Woolery wouldnt do. Talk to your president to find out if regeneron is right for you. Is one of the side effects of regeneron a burnt umber face . Because id like to compare the color of his face to the color of his hands today. Put his hands up there. Thats right. It looks like he turned the tanning bed up to extra crispy. [ laughter ] after months of downplaying the virus trump now, now that he has it, cant decide if he wants to say it was no big deal or be the powerful hero who beat it. So what hes doing is saying both. So i think this was a blessing from god that i caught it. This was a blessing in disguise. I caught it. I heard about this drug. I said let me take it. It was my suggestion. I said let me take it. And it was incredible the way it worked. Incredible. Jimmy i bet god takes the call when his son calls him. [ laughter ] but the most important thing the president wants you to know, other than that, everything that works is his idea, is that this virus, this terrible disease thats killed so many people now is not your fault. It wasnt your fault that this happened. It was chinas fault. And chinas going to pay a big price. What theyve done to this country. Chinas going to pay a big price, what theyve done to the world. This was chinas fault. Just remember that. Jimmy look at the orange chicken blaming china. That is un [ laughter ] by the way, about three minutes into the video an unidentified flying object came flying out of the president s mouth. I walked in, i didnt feel good. A short 24 hours later i was feeling good jimmy did you see that . A pearl of spittle flew out of his lie hole on a downward trajectory. A highly infected glob of covid gravy hurtling toward the white house lawn. Which is exactly why you wear a mask. But he had to make a video today. He cant let mike pence have the spotlight to himself. He had to get out there to talk about regeneron and of course we mustnt forget the vaccine that will be here very, very soon. The vaccines that we will come up with, very soon were going to come up with. Were very close to a vaccine. I think were going to have a vaccine much sooner rather than later. I think it will be i think that will be done. Id like to have the cure and or the vaccine and that will happen i think very soon. Were going to have a vaccine soon. Were going to have a vaccine very soon. Once we have the vaccine but i think were going to have it very soon. And i think were going to have a vaccine very soon too. A vaccine i think is going to be announced very soon. Very, very soon. Its going to be announced i believe very, very soon. Were determined to have a vaccine very quickly. Were going to have something very soon. Well have a vaccine very soon. Well develop a vaccine. Were going to have it very soon. Were going to have the vaccine soon. I think were going to have a vaccine very soon. Vaccine is looking very good for pretty soon. This is a vaccine that were going to have very soon. Very, very soon. I think the vaccines going to come very soon. Its going to be really soon. Were going to have a rack scene very soon. Great vaccine. Great, great vaccine. Vaccines are coming. We will have a vaccine so soon you wont even believe it. Were going to have it very, very soon. Its going to be very, very soon. The vaccines are coming. Momentarily. Jimmy okay, all right. [ applause ] but for now sit back, relax, and enjoy your nightmare. But back to the debate. Tonight we watched a very tough former prosecutor debate a former a. M. Radio host, a man who is the human equivalent of an unseasoned potato salad. Kamala harris is half jamaican, half indian. Mike pence is just half. [ laughter ] but in fairness to mike he had the misfortune of trying to defend donald trump, who among the many insane things he claims he claims hes done more for the black community than any president with the possible exception of lincoln. Trump is polling at about 10 with black american voters, which isnt great. And the contrast between these campaigns is particularly stark when you see Kamala Harris next to a cartoon drawing of a milk man. [ laughter ] but the trump campaign, theyre not giving up. They recently named a new director of africanamerican outreach. His name is marquise jackson. And we are interested to have him with us tonight and grateful to have him with us. Mr. Jackson, thank you for joining us on debate night. [ applause ] well, thank you for having me. Thank you so much. You know, this is such an important election for black americans. And i thought the Vice President did a great job tonight explaining why donald trump is the right choice for black voters. Jimmy excuse me. Wait a moment. You are the new head of black outreach for the administration . Yep. Yeah. I was actually just appointed this morning. Jimmy youre Marquis Jackson . Thats me. I know. Thats a pretty unusual name. See, i was named after the marquis de sade. Its a funny story. My mother was very into sadomasochism, you know, for sex. The night i was conceived im sorry, what . Jimmy how did you get this job . Well, thats a very interesting story. It was a real whirlwind. See, i sent in my resume this morning and then about an hour later they hired me sight unseen. Jimmy okay. Thats what i would have guessed. So you never actually met anyone from the administration in person or on video chat . Well, no. Not yet. I was having a little bit of trouble with the camera in my computer. You know, the people at zoom, they make it so tricky to activate your video. Youve got to go into settings. Well, first of all, youve got to figure out where that camera they tell you click on the camera jimmy i know how zoom works. What youre saying is they never saw your face . No. But look, its not a beauty contest, jimmy. This is about galvanizing africanamerican voters. Jimmy i get that. I cant help but wonder, mr. Jackson, if no, no. Please. Call me marquis. [ laughter ] jimmy okay. Marquis. Is it possible, marquis, that the people, the person who hired you assumed you were black . Oh, wow. [ laughter ] you know, that never occurred to me. Now you that mention it, yeah, there were some odd things. Jimmy okay. Like what kind of odd things . Well, when i talked to them on the phone they kept saying whazzup [ laughter ] jimmy thats a red flag for sure. Yeah. And bringing up the nba championships a whole bunch of times. They were asking if i was into somebody named kanye. Do you know who that is . Jimmy yes, i do. Of course. Hes a rapper. Hes a very famous person. Oh, really . Because i kept thinking it sounds like pig latin to me. Like oohye, oohday. Kanye. Jimmy no, hes very famous. Kanye west. Hes married to kim kardashian. Yeah, well, that does not ring a bell either. [ laughter ] they did ask if i would make sure to stand behind the president at all of his rallies. They wanted me real prominent right behind him. Of course i said yes. You bet. Jimmy so why would you say anything other than that . Yeah. Exactly. And then at some point one of them said to me, he said hey, is it true what they say . And i just said oh, you know it is. It is totally true. Jimmy wait, what is true . I have no idea. [ laughter ] i was just trying to get a job. Jimmy i see. Okay. All right. But ill tell you, whatever it is, apparently President Trump has a very little one. Miniature in size. They were very clear. They went into great detail. Jimmy you might want to get in touch with them to clear up this because it could potentially be an embarrassing thing, situation for you. Yeah. Well, i think youre absolutely right. And i will do that right after lunch. Jimmy okay. Im going to call them as a matter of fact, i have a couple of phone numbers for a couple of guys jimmy i think as soon as i have some jimmy probably wraps it up. Thank you, marquis. I appreciate your being part of this. My pleasure. Almond butter and jelly. Jimmy better than peanuts. Sure. Thats Marquis Jackson. [ applause ] the director of you understand . Guillermo yeah. Jimmy hes the director of black outreach for the trump campaign. Guillermo incredible. Yeah. [ laughter ] jimmy weve got a good show for you tonight. From South Carolina Senate Hopeful Jaime Harrison is with us. We have music from natanael cano. And well be right back with Billy Crystal. So stick around. [ cheers and applause ] dicky Abcs Jimmy Kimmel live, brought to you by consumer cellular. Lular. Leggo a big mac medium fries. And an oreo mcflurry. There you go. The j balvin meal. Get it on the mcdonalds app and the mcflurry is on me. Im lovin it get it on the mcdonalds app and the mcflurry is on me. I like big jeans. Ittybitty jeans. Feelin trendy yall, with the straight jeans showin off those curves, cause you the queen everyone go slay in your Old Navy Jeans welcome to denim america. With fits for the whole fam. Only at old navy and oldnavy. Com woooooow. Its crispy. Its creamy. Its not your average chocolate bar. Smooth milk chocolate, crispy wafer and creamy hazelnut filling. 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And when these heroes lack the resources they need, that risky job gets ten times harder. Prop fifteen makes corporations pay their fair share. To invest in our communities, in our clinics, in the essential workers who treat everyone rich, poor, and inbetween. Whether its this pandemic or the next health crisis, vote yes on prop fifteen. For all of us. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back. Tonight on this show, he is apple musics up next artist. This is his album. Its called soy el nata. Natanael cano is here with us tonight. [ applause ] i think i got that right. Right, guillermo . Natanael cano. Guillermo natanael cano. Perfect. Jimmy yours was better. Later this week we have new shows with liam neeson . That was good, right . Killer mike and norah jones will be here. And on friday we are in primetime again on friday for game 5 of the nba finals with jamie foxx. So please join us for that. [ applause ] our first guest tonight is one of the alltime comedy greats. Just like the rest of us hes at home watching television. He loves eggs. Please welcome Billy Crystal, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] hi, billy. Hi, jimmy. Thanks, everybody in the studio. Please. Please sit down. Thank you. [ laughter ] thank you. Jimmy so billy, what did you watch tonight . Did you watch the yankees or did you watch yeah. I get dressed. You know, to root on its not good news. You know, i was still recovering from my clipper woes. Jimmy oh, yes. Right. And then the yankees are in a little trouble. But then i was the debate was insane. Pence to me is like hes that guy that you say to your wife, why did you invite him . [ laughter ] i mean, its like you know, the comparison between the two of them, the squinty that squinty thing that he does. Jimmy yes. Under the leadership of President Trump weve lost 210,000 people. Isnt that something . Jimmy yeah. Its like and hes if he was a rapper, i think his name would be notorious b. I. G. O. T. [ laughter ] jimmy if he was a rapper yeah. I mean, to this guy roots was like a romantic comedy. [ laughter ] jimmy youre not part of team pence. I thought for sure youd be on i was for a while but then the empty box video that you showed just threw me. Ive had a hard last couple of days. Jimmy why have you had a hard couple of days . Well, first of all, ive been in this house since march. Jimmy right. And now, you know, its like my alexa is acting up. So i say to her every morning, alexa, would you play this song . And now she says to me two days ago, no. I dont like that song. [ laughter ] i said alexa, i need the recipe for blueberry pancakes. She goes, you dont need that. [ laughter ] you dont want that. You dont want that. And then last night im watching the yankee game and i want to check in on the lakers score. I said whats the lakers score, alexa . Alexa, whats the lakers score . She says, who gives a [ bleep ] . Im watching the dodger game. [ laughter ] then this morning i come in and i hear whispering. Shes talking to somebody else. And i go alexa, who are you talking to . And she starts to cry. And i said who are you talking to . Well, shes having a thing with siri. Jimmy oh. Now i dont know what to so my whole house is its not a smart house right now. Jimmy you know, its funny. Its like when you are in the house you start to develop a weird relationship with these machines. Especially when they have a womans voice. Yeah. No, i know. Jimmy you celebrated what, your 50th anniversary. 50th, yeah. [ applause ] that you can stand up for. Jimmy thats pretty great. I mean, that is impressive. It was you know, when we hit 49 and we were married very young. I was 8. Janis was 6. It was a prearranged [ laughter ] so when we hit 49 we go were going to have a big celebration. The 25th anniversary we got remarried. We did our vows, had a big bash. It was great. But the 50th was this was really something. But now we were indoors. Its in june. So my beautiful daughters put together this huge zoom with all of our relatives and friends from around the country. And you were very sweet to send really funny good wishes to us in a video. And so that was great to celebrate that way, but then this house is a very strange old house. It was built in the early 30s. And the people who built the house were in vaudeville. They had a mindreading act. They were known frances and gary usher harry usher. And he helped build the magic castle. So when we moved in, they showed us these pictures of all of these people who were in this amphitheater that they built, like a little Roman Amphitheater in the hillside, and all of their friends were there. And it was like the shining. Like who was there then . Theres will rogers. Theres jack benny. Theres red skelton. Theres george burns. Theres mrs. Harry houdini. Theres all of these people. So we always wanted to renovate this little theater. So my kids that week of it renovated the theater and they created a little outdoor restaurant for us. And my grandchildren, who are the girls are 17 and 14. The boys are 10 and 7. They were the waiters and waitresses. Jimmy oh. And they took care of us. We had this very romantic dinner just the two of us outside in this old amphitheater. And you know what . It was perfect, jimmy, because janis and i started out together alone in 1966 when we first dated during the johnson administration. And to have this little private dinner, it was really kind of perfect. Jimmy did you tip your grandkids afterwards . No. [ laughter ] because honestly the service was slow. And they have to learn. [ applause ] jimmy are you watching a lot of television . What are you doing . And what do you watch on television . What are you doing . Im catching up on things that i didnt get a chance to see. Im in season 2 of cheers. [ laughter ] funny. Jimmy very funny, huh . Really funny. I hope those two get together. They should be together. [ laughter ] this is all stuff i didnt have a chance to see. Im in season 6 of i dont know if youve seen it. Seinfeld is hilarious. Yes, a very good one. Very funny. But ive been involved in a lot of projects. Im doing a Charity Event to raise awareness, jim, of a new medical condition, like we needed one, thats affecting 190 million americans every day. Jimmy what is that . And that is its mask breath. [ laughter ] i might as well wear my underwear on my nose. Like what . Thats one of the real bad side effects of wearing a mask. Jimmy you have been working on a project. And were going to show that project, a bit of it, when we come back. Oh, good. Jimmy youve been working on something with rob reiner. And with phil rosenthal. From Everybody Loves raymond. And a surprise i dont think i should say. A surprise no, no, no, no. Youre going to show a little bit, right . Jimmy from the world of politics. Yes. When we come back, Billy Crystal will join us again. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by canidae. Vetformulated premium pet food thats packed with nutrition and goodness. Ss. E whlove to discover. Who know an open mind is the only kind. Who dont need to travel to find something new. Who know where to escape, even just for a moment. Who dont need a fortune to find a gem. And who know when you spend less, you can discover even more. And never, ever stop discovering. Spend less, discover more. At t. J. Maxx, marshalls, and homegoods. Have your attention. [sound fx bing] pull up a seat begin the lesson ba da bum, lets go mmm, sorry i got that, you got that, we got that boom we got that. Crunchy oat clusters with a hotouch of honey. Ombine. Plump, juicy raisins. And tasty fiber. Into one delicious cereal . It took a lot of branstorming. Get it . Kelloggs raisin bran crunch. Two scoops of delicious. 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Counted. Learn more at vote. Ca. Gov in the tubbs fire. The flames, the ash, it was terrifying. Thousands of family homes are destroyed in wildfires. Families are forced to move and higher property taxes are a huge problem. Prop 19 limits taxes on wildfire victims so families can move without a tax penalty. Nineteen will help rebuild lives. Vote yes on 19. Oh, yeah theres always somethiat ross. N store yep. Oh yeah say yes to those looks, the best brands. And check you out bargains savings from top to bottom thats yes for less. At ross. For his take on the election wlchl welcome bill kristol. Thank you. What are you doing here . What are you doing here . They introduced me. They said Billy Crystal. I think they said bill kristol. No, no. No, no. They said Billy Crystal. Billy. I distinctly heard the y. Im pretty sure they said bill. And i dont use the y. How come . Because im not 5. Jimmy we are back with Billy Crystal. Not bill kristol, who is bill kristol for those who dont follow this sort of thing, a conservative commentator, lifelong republican, who joined you in an effort to do what specifically . This is an ad thatll i guess what do the kids say . Itll drop. Tomorrow. Bill and i joined forces. He approached me with this Organization Called jews defending american values. And its a spot for senior citizens, mostly in florida, because if we can get the seniors out to vote for joe biden, which is what were both about in the ad, then we can win florida, then theres almost no way that trump can win the election. Jimmy did you ever imagine we would be in a situation where you were joining with a lifelong republican to get people in florida to vote . No. Thats what i thought was such a enticing thing to do this, because i dont really come out and say, you know, vote for him i do it, you know, in the way of investing and sending money and so on, so forth, and supporting. But this was such a great way to educate people, especially seniors who care about medicaid, who care about medicare and Social Security and health care in a humorous way to get them to vote for the right guy, which is joe biden. Jimmy as i mentioned, your friend rob reiner directed this video. Yeah. Was bill kristol, was he able to deliver all the jokes . He was great. We were an interesting team. Sort of ivory and ivory. [ laughter ] and he was great fun and very very open about his disdain for whats happened to his party because there doesnt feel like there is a Republican Party anymore. And he wanted to do this and so i thought that was great and noble of him to want to do this. Jimmy youre not a person whos taken a very hard line. You met how many president s have you met and spent time with over the course of your career . Oh. The first one, Ronald Reagan i met. I met jimmy carter. He actually came to the premiere of City Slickers 2 in atlanta at the great fox theater. And he came dressed as a cowboy. That was the greatest. He did. And clinton. Trump. And jimmy the bushes . Oh, both bushes. Both bushes. The whole garden. I got the whole garden. [ laughter ] we were screening 61, the movie i directed about roger maris and Mickey Mantle at the white house for president bush. And its in the white house screening room. And all of these, you know, hot shot guys and gals were there and the movie opens with three really dirty, rough jokes that Mickey Mantle says, whos played by tom jane. And i was like a little nervous about it because of the women in the crowd and so on and so forth, and the president , i said to him, theres only three more of those. And he goes, bring em on. And so in the movie roger maris, whos played by barry pepper, hits his 53rd home run, and we show it and i have this righthanded pitcher named frank larry throw the pitch and mariss home run. And the president turns to me and says, its not frank larry. It was hank aguirre. Hank aguirre threw the i said how do you know that . He goes, yeah, it was aguirre, a lefty. And i said heres the crazy thing about this, jimmy. The day we were shooting that scene the guy playing hank aguirre did not show up. Jimmy wow. So i had to use the guy playing frank lary because he was the only guy who could throw a strike. And so its wrong, and he caught it. He saw that the 53rd home run was hit by hank aguirre. That he saw. But the weapons of mass destruction [ applause ] isnt that the craziest thing . Jimmy he is a lefty, right . Maybe thats why it stuck with him. Well, not politically obviously. Yeah. It was crazy. Jimmy what about his dad . What about george h. W. Bush . Did you know him at all . I met him once at a dinner. This is im going to tell this story. Jimmy okay. Good. I was invited to an informal dinner. It was not a political event at all. By a friend. And i think you knew jerry weintraub. Jimmy yes. The late jerry weintraub. Jimmy great guy. Yeah. Yeah. So he had this beautiful estate in malibu called blue heaven. And he even had a cottage for the bushes. So he was very Close Friends with barbara and the late president. And every there were two tables. One was Barbara Bushs table and one was the president s table. So we were sitting at Barbara Bushs table alongside Sidney Poitier and Warren Beatty and other like Warner Brothers president s. Bob daly, so on, so forth. Warren beatty, who is the most charming person who ever lived, is sitting right next to barbara bush. And hes just charming. And hes so handsome. And shes loving every second of it. And jerry walks over. And this is actually a good imitation. And he looks at everybody, are you all having a good time . And we said yes, its great. He looks at warren, whos charming the first lady, and he goes, dont even think about it. [ laughter ] jimmy by the way, thats a great imitation of jerry weintraub. He was a i love jerry. We were good friends. I used to go to laker games with him because he had the seats right next to the visiting teams bench. So you actually got to sit next to whoever was the last guy on the bench of whatever team they were playing. And thats when i the first time i met the late kirk douglas. It was a laker playoff game, and im sitting next to a player from the detroit pistons. Jimmy well yeah. Theres a lot of them. No, but he was 73 and i cant think of his name. Anyway. So its halftime. And i can see kirk douglas walking toward me. Id never met him before. And he was such a handsome that was a movie star. And jerry says to me, hes not happy. I canceled him out of the game today to take you. [ laughter ] so i thought oh, no. He comes over and he goes, kirk, this is Billy Crystal. Say hello to Billy Crystal. Then he goes, youre sitting in my seat [ laughter ] [ applause ] so i said, im sorry. And jerry said oh, stop it. Come on, kirk, hes hotter than you. Jimmy thank you, billy. It is always so much fun talking to you. I appreciate it. Billys commercial will drop, as they say, tomorrow. The great Billy Crystal, everybody. Well be back with Jaime Harrison. With Jaime Harrison. Her issue. Oh. Im scratching like crazy. Youve got some allergic itch with skin inflammation. Apoquel can work on that itch in as little as 4 hours, whether its a new or chronic problem. And apoquels treated over 8 million dogs. Nice. And. The talking dog thing . Is it bothering you . No. Itching like a dog is bothering me. Until dogs can speak for themselves, you have to. When allergic itch is a problem, ask for apoquel. Apoquel is for the control of itch associated with allergic dermatitis and the control of Atopic Dermatitis in dogs. Do not use apoquel in dogs less than 12 months old or those with serious infections. Apoquel may increase the chance of developing serious infections and may cause existing parasitic skin infestations or preexisting cancers to worsen. 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[ applause ] jimmy im doing well. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for having me. Jimmy i dont know if people know this nationally but you really are a pioneer when it comes to using plexiglass at a debate. I think you even invented it, right . Well, you know, actually, my wife came up with the idea. And my wife came up with the idea, and we sent the staff out to go find some, and lo and behold they did. Jimmy yeah. I wanted to loan it to kamala for tonight, but i dont think we could have gotten it there in time. Jimmy they busted into sizzler and they made away with the salad bar. [ laughter ] your opponent, for those who dont know, in this election is a longtime senator, lindsey grandma, who has [ laughter ] i mean graham. Is there anyone who scores lower on the integrity scale than Lindsey Graham . Oh, man. Hes the king of flipflops. There are more flipflops with Lindsey Graham than there are on myrtle beach right now. [ laughter ] jimmy i wouldnt even call them i think flipflops is too generous a term for just for example, and i know you know this stuff. For those who dont know, this is a guy who called donald trump a kook, crazy, said he was unfit for office. Now hes on his lap riding around in a golf cart. Trump insulted one of his dearest and closest friends, who passed. Even in death he insulted senator john mccain. Now theyre buddies like you cant believe. This is a guy who made a big point of saying you cannot appoint a Supreme Court nominee during an election year, said put me on tape, hold me to this, and sure enough hes doing exactly the opposite. I mean, this is its just shameless. Well, it is. And you know, and i called him out at the debate that we had on saturday, and i told him, you know, the greatest travesty that you can do as a Public Servant is to lie to the people that you represent. And its sad to see him do that. And then the excuse, well, such and such did this to me and such and such did that to me. I mean, come on. Just be a man about it. Stand up and say you know, i changed my mind. Or just do something. Its really sad. Jimmy it is. And because he is a guy who used to on occasion stand up for something that ran contrary to his party. But he seems to have changed for the worse. Which is good news for you because whereas it would have been unthinkable for a democrat to win in South Carolina the cook political report, which is i guess they follow these things very closely, today they called your race a tossup. Which has to be exciting for you, i would imagine. [ applause ] oh, jimmy, it is so exciting right now. And its sort of sad to see how anxious and desperate Lindsey Graham is. You know, he goes on fox news every night now begging for money, crying, and so if you dont mind i just want to give an example of what he should do. So lindsey, you just look in the camera and you say, go to jaimeharrison. Com and help us. You dont have to cry. See . You can smile. [ applause ] jimmy jaime, i think youre doing a very interesting thing. The way you are one of the ways youre raising funds and drumming up support is with a program called harrison helps. That is a very unusual take, i think. Yeah. You know, harrison helps is our service initiative. Im a big believer in showing and not telling. And so we go into communities to show people what our values really are. Weve done so many things from habitat for humanity, Ronald Mcdonald house. Ive made dinners for folks. Weve even done a School Supplies drop. Jimmy, just recently we raised 15,000, gave out over 800 backpacks to needy families and their kids. And so im really, really proud of the work that were doing. On the ground helping people right now. Jimmy youre getting so much attention. Youve been endorsed by president obama, joe biden obviously, the late john lewis gave you an endorsement. You got an usual endorsement from none other than Luke Skywalker, mark hamill, who wrote, dear jaime, if you can send lindsey home ill give you a million likes and youll be my second favorite harrison. [ applause ] ill tell you, jimmy, when i got that i was actually in bed and i was looking at my cell phone. My wife was asleep. And i saw that mark hamill retweeted me and then i saw he responded. And i almost like jumped out of the bed. And my wife was like what is going on right now . I was like, Luke Skywalker actually sent me a tweet. [ laughter ] jimmy maybe they can swear you in with a lightsaber. [ laughter ] you have i think a great story. You were a High School Teacher for a time. You were a bingo caller for a time. That was my jimmy how long did you call bingo . That was my first job. The first job i ever had. I was about 16 years old, and i worked at a bingo parlor every sunday and monday nights. And one of the memorable moments was my boss was just encouraging me to call very quickly because i was the guy that pulled the balls out of the machine and put them up there. And he wanted to call so quickly. And there was this senior, older woman sitting right in front of me, and i was calling so quickly. And she looked at me and she said, boy, you better slow your behind down. Now, she didnt say behind, jimmy. She said something else. But i knew she was serious. So i did that. Jimmy you dont mess with seniors when theyre playing bingo. That is a lesson i learned from my grandmother. You get a dollar right to the forehead. [ laughter ] thats exactly right. Jimmy what are you going to do on Election Night . Do you have it planned out . Were trying to figure that out. Given covid, normally we would have this big party and tons of folks in a hall and celebrating. But given that were in the midst of this pandemic were trying to figure out how we can do something thats covid safe. Because we are going to win, jimmy, and i want to make sure that we celebrate with all the folks that made it possible. [ applause ] jimmy well, i think thats it would be an amazing thing if you did. Personally, i hope you pull his balls out of the machine like you did when you were calling bingo. [ laughter ] and i wont ask you to comment on that. No, no. I dont want to comment on that. Jimmy thank you for taking time. I appreciate it. Jaime harrison, everybody. In South Carolina. Well be right back with music from natanael cano. [ applause ] dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. They do one of the most deven in normal times. S, our Frontline Health care workers. And when these heroes lack the resources they need, that risky job gets ten times harder. Prop fifteen makes corporations pay their fair share. To invest in our communities, in our clinics, in the essential workers who treat everyone rich, poor, and inbetween. Whether its this pandemic or the next health crisis, vote yes on prop fifteen. For all of us. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Jimmy well, that is we have a little bit more, but thats our show. I want to thank Billy Crystal. I want to thank Jaime Harrison. I would like to apologize to matt damon. We did run out of time for him. Nightline is next. But first this is his album. Its called soy el nata. Here with the song, yo ya se natanael cano [ applause ] [ speaking Foreign Language ]. [ singing in Foreign Language ] [ singing in Foreign Language ] [ singing in Foreign Language ] [ singing in Foreign Language ] [ singing in Foreign Language ] tonight one heartbeat away. The Vice President ial candidates never more critical. Not true. Is he only going to repeal part of the tax cuts . If you dont mind letting me finish. Clashing over an economic crisis. A covid outbreak at the white house. And the trump administrations handling of the pandemic. President trump and i trust the American People to make choices in the best interests of their health. Plexiglass and the future of the Supreme Court, dividing mike pence from Kamala Harris. His democratic and historymaking challenger. I thought about my mother, who came to the United States at the age of

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