[ bleep ] take a break from the mean tweets awkward beats and lame jokes about donald trump its the brad paisley live show oh lookin there a ratings bump thank you thank you five sweaty people in face shields. Appreciate it. This is awesome. And its freaking weird. Because everything is freaking weird right now. But some parts of life are starting to get back to normal. For instance im very excited that the new nfl season kicks off tomorrow. Hank jr. Always asks, are you ready for some football . Hell, im so starved for sports im ready for some badminton. The nfl is doing things differently this year. Like all of us. For safety players will be quarantined for 14 days every time they come in close contact with another player. So the season is going to last 17 years. Some teams are made for this like the Detroit Lions. Their defense hasnt come within six feet of another player since 1998. I can say that because im a Cleveland Browns fan. And as a browns fan, Detroit Lions jokes are all weve got. God bless em. Hey, speaking of sports are you familiar with the beersketball challenge . It started when i put out a song called no i in beer and some creative folks on tiktok took the ball and bounced it. Cause were all in this together to me, its all clear drinkin ought to be a team effort there is no i in its a little trickier than it looks. But i happen to have a sidekick tonight who knows his way around a can of beer. How you doing, guillermo . Guillermo how you doin, mr. Brad paisley . Im doin great. I see youve got your guitar, do you actually play that thing . Guillermo yes, do you want to hear something . Absolutely. Good night tonight, mr. Paisley i know you have catlike reflections. Hey, so i wanted you to try this. Do you have a basketball and a can of beer . I know you have catlike reflexes and a love of cerveza so ive got a great feeling about this. Go ahead and give it a try. Its okay, youve got the whole show to figure it out. I cant wait. Let her fly. Lets see it. Guillermo ready . Im ready. Okay. Well guillermo can i try another one . Yeah, in a little bit. You can go ahead and drink that and well see how it goes next time. Guillermo all right, mr. Brad paisley. Ill go get the ball. Well check back in a little bit with a noticeably drunker guillermo. This is a tough time for everyone and it turns out a lot of people are turning to Country Music for comfort. Streams of Country Music are up over 11 since the quarantine started. Which i guess makes sense. Almost every country song is about loneliness or drunkenness. And right now everybody is both of those things all the time. And since life has changed so much this year, ive actually been rewriting some of my songs to better reflect the world were suddenly living in. Check these out. Ktel records presents brad paisleys greatest hits the 2020 editions okay, this is the new and improved 2020 version of my song alcohol. And since the day we first heard from fauci that gravely voiced mcdreamy hunk weve been wiping down groceries hoarding the charmin and pretty much constantly drunk you say its 5 Oclock Somewhere on a 9 00 a. M. Morning zoom call im the only bright spot in this god awful year alcohol sing that one responsibly all right, this next one is an update to my tender ballad letter to me. If i could write a letter to me and send it back in time to myself at 17 well it probably wouldnt get there til i was 31 cuz i cant find a mailbox what the hell is going on love and intimacy have changed probably this most in this time so heres an update to my song, remind me. We didnt care if people stared wed gather in large crowds out there somebodyd sneeze or hack or cough and wed just smile and shrug it off now its been so long since you and i hugged or kissed or hell high fived remind me remind me it was before social distancing wed only wear masks on halloween remind me remind me Carrie Underwood [ applause ] thank you, carrie. Appreciate you stopping by. I had to save the show. Carrie underwood, everybody bring back jimmy. Shut her up, turn her off we have a great show for you tonight. Well be right back with rainn wilson. Dicky Abcs Jimmy Kimmel live, brought to you by the samsung gre Samsung Galaxy note 20 ultra 5g. Send it off, with a bang whistling step up. Prep up. Up. Prep up. To help keep you free from the risk of hiv. From the makers of truvada, theres another prep option descovy for prep. A oncedaily prescription medicine that helps lower the chances of getting hiv through sex. Its not for everyone. Descovy for prep has not been studied in people assigned female at birth. Talk to your doctor to find out if its right for you. Step up. For health and body. Prep up for your one and only love or many loves. For kings, this queen, and you royals in between. For my now. Our now. And my future. Our future. Step up. Prep up. Descovy is another way to prep. Descovy does not prevent other sexually transmitted infections, so its important to use safer sex practices and get tested regularly. You must be hivnegative to take descovy for prep. So you need to get tested for hiv immediately before and at least every 3 months while taking it. If you think you were exposed to hiv or have flulike symptoms, tell your doctor right away. They may check to confirm you are still hivnegative. Serious side effects can occur, including kidney problems and kidney failure. Rare, lifethreatening side effects include a buildup of lactic acid and liver problems. The most common side effect was diarrhea. Tell your doctor about all the medicines and supplements you take, or if you have kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis. If you have hepatitis b, do not stop taking descovy without talking to your doctor. Ask your doctor about your risk of hiv and if descovy for prep is right for you. Words are loud but actions are louder. Step up. Prep up. With descovy for prep. Get help paying for descovy for prep. Learn more at stepupprepup. Com mom vo we got a subaru to give him some ato reconnect and be together. And once we did that, we realized his greatest adventure is just beginning. avo male welcome to the most adventurous outback ever. The allnew 2020 Subaru Outback. Go where love takes you. avo female get 0 apr financing for 63 months on the 2020 Subaru Outback and other select models. Your shoulder seems to be healing nicely. Well, dr. Farrell, it feels really good. Thats good. And. Im sorry. Baby, dont touch that. I dont want you to play with that. singing twinkle, twinkle little star. How i wonder what you are. still singing up above the world so high. Like a diamond in the sky. Im so glad that your shoulder is feeling better. But, how are you doing . Im hanging in there. Schedule a video visit with your doctor. And get quality care with no copay. Kaiser permanente. Thrive. And get quality care with no copay. Where you can find games, news and highlights. All in one place, right on your tv. The xfinity sports zone. Use your voice to search every stat, standing and score. Follow the teams you love. And, even get notifications with breaking news alerts and more. So youll never miss an update. With the xfinity sports zone everybody wins. Now thats simple, easy, awesome. Click, call or visit a store for details. Welcome back to Jimmy Kimmel Live. Im brad paisley. Guillermo, give the beersketball challenge another try how about it. You want to . Guillermo sure, whatever you say, man. All right, lets see this. [ bleep ] man, i think that got him in the face. Man. Medic . Can we get a medic for guillermo . Well check back in on him in a second. Yeah, he might be bleeding. Anyway, speaking of beer, in just a little bit, i will be performing my single hit, no i in beer. And tomorrow night, the incredibly talented john legend will be here with his guest dj khaled. My guest tonight is a very funny emmynominated actor whom you know from his 9 seasons as the most ruthlessly ambitious paper salesman beet farmer ever. Now he stars as a virologist out to stop the spread of a virus any words on my sequencer . My reach is extremely limited without it. I mean, i feel like im be being systematically prevented theres no plot against you, michael. What is that supposed to mean . It means the dean doesnt think about you at all. Theres nothing in the budget for you. Why not . A lot of viruses out there. Absolutely, and mine is one of them. That was seven years utopia premiers september utopia premiers september 25th on Amazon Prime Video. Please welcome my friend, 25th on Amazon Prime Video. Rainn wilson. Hows it going . How are you . I think you look fantastic, talk show host is in the cards for you. At least one night, well see if they give me any more than that. Im so excited to get to do this, my sons, 11 and 13, ive never seen them binge anything with the veracity they went after the office. And they are so excited that im talking to you tonight. Its really fun for them especially, but ive loved you for a long time. Oh, thanks, man, thats great. The popularity of the office has just been off the charts in the last couple of years, especially with young folk, and with this pandemic, its been crazy. Crazy. Yeah, i think thats probably because its a fantasy now, people dont get to go to an office, so theyre watching this as some sort of way of saying oh, i remember what it used to be like. Right, people huddled in Conference Rooms and giving each other highfives and whatnot. Yeah, its funny at 11 and 13 to watch them get the humor of this, because i think its so ahead of its time. Ive watched them relate to this in so many ways, and theyve asked me if i could get a bears beats galactica from you seriously. You want me to be a trained monkey on your show now . Yeah. Mr. Tv host . Thats kind of what we were kind of thinking. Second of all, dwight never actually said those words. It was jim who said those words, hawk and jasper, idiots. Here we go, no, no, no. Bears beats battlestar gallactica, boom. We are so excited to talk to you about this tv show coming out that is painfully appropriate for the times were living in. Its called utopia. Thats right. Its super cool, based on an english format, much like the office was. And the whole premise is that theres this graphic novel comic book that contains kind of the secrets to the potential destruction of the earth, and these comic book nerds kind of find this, and things start to unravel. So its got a dark sense of humor and a lot of conspiracy theories running around in it. Its a lot of fun. It sounds like it. I mean, did you learn anything about how to save the world in this tv show right now . I wish i had learned something from the tv show about how to save the world, because it really kind of feels right now like the world needs a little bit of saving, but unfortunately, no. I also recently learned you have donkeys. We actually have two donkeys ourselves on our farm. Those are your donkeys . No, those are yours actually right there. Those are my donkeys, oh, my gosh. Ours are known oliver ass and ben assfleck. Whats the story with yours . I like the ass being shoe horned in there. Ive got you beat, brad, what we have on the left is chili beans, our donkey, a rescue donkey, and on the right we have a zonkey. What the hell is a zonkey . A donkey mom meets, some kind of app, a zebra sperm, and they make a zonkey. Hes basically the, it looks really adorable. Thats derrick, my son named him derrick. He looks super adorable, but in actuality, a zonkey is the worst characteristics of a donkey and a zebra. The wild biting of a zebra and the dopeyness of a donkey. He has the worst personality. Im just going back to the dating app that hooks these things up. Youre close to having a zoo, because you have a couple potbellied pigs, right . We do. Oh, look at that. Thats snortington, back when snortington and my wife holiday, holidays the human woman, snortingtons the pig, just in case anyone was confused. Thats when snortington was allowed into the house. I see. Why is he not in the house anymore if i have to ask . We have a real menagerie around the house. We have rescue pit bulls. Basically, they got the scent of bacon, and they got hooked. So we had to put the pigs outside. Theyre in their own pigpen now. Holy youre so close to tiger king at this point, you realize that . Like one step. I should charge admission. Im also excited about your Youtube Channel an idiots guide to Climate Change, which is totally written for me, i believe. You and me both, and a lot of us are idiots about Climate Change, but it was a great adventure. I got go to greenland and iceland. And i didnt know anything about the issues, and i got to learn from a bunch of scientists. So it was a super fun adventure. I wish coy have brought my zonkey. Absolutely. They would have love td in iceland. We went there for the first time last year, and i got go back. Did you ride the icelandic ponies . No, but i saw a ton of them. Theyre unbelievable. Theyre so much fun to ride. They dont go up and down. They just go like this. Its like riding a little loveseat. Great. Youll have one of those next, im sure. Yeah, i think thats a great idea. Well add, well add to the zoo. Im so thrilled to get to see you. I havent seen you since we played softball in malibu, which we had no business doing, either one of us. I hope you get through this time sane. Thanks, man. Its so great seeing you. Congrats on doing the show and fantastic talking to you u you too, i cant wait to watch utopia. Utopia premieres september 25th on Amazon Prime Video and watch an idiots guide to Climate Change on rainns Youtube Channel, soulpancake. Thanks, rainn. Well be right back with music from the one and only brad paisley dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by planet fitness. Home of the judgmentfree zone. Learn more at planet fitness. Com. peter walsh people came and they met and they felt comfortable. Its what we did with coogans. You felt safe and, if you were safe, you could be joyful. Everybody has a coogans. And almost half those small businesses, they could close if people dont do something. We have to keep our communities together. Thats how we get through this. Who know an open mind is the only kind. Who dont need to travel to find something new. Who know where to escape, even just for a moment. Who dont need a fortune to find a gem. And who know when you spend less, you can discover even more. And never, ever stop discovering. Spend less, discover more. At t. J. Maxx, marshalls, and homegoods. Rush to work, grab a drink, hurry home. [cell phone beeps] stop dont be on your phone. Let someone else take the wheel. Make a little eye contact. Make a plan. Its a busy world out there. Were all in it together. Go safely, california. If i could, baby id how can i, when you wont take it from me you can go your own way go your own way your wireless. Your rules. Only with xfinity mobile. Put it in gear and take off. , next thing you know, the phone is in your hand stop we should be holding the wheel, not holding the phone. Its a busy world out there. And were all in it together. Go safely, california. Welcome back to Jimmy Kimmel Live, im brad paisley. All right, guillermo, this is your last chance to nail the beersketball challenge. Are you ready . You want to try again . Guillermo all right, lets do it one more time, do it again. Guillermo all right, ill do it again oh, [ bleep ]. All right, so well come to that. Im just going to go ahead and play. Wherever you are tonight whatever youre going through grab a long neck bottle or a big ol pint and lets all have a few cause were all in this together to me its all so clear drinkin oughta be a team effort there is no i in beer want to try it again, [ bleep ]. You got a buddy whose heart broke see if you can get him on the phone tell him life aint fair we all been there but ya dont have to drink alone cause were all in this together to me its all so clear drinkin oughta be a team effort there is no i in beer there aint no u or i in beer thats right but theres about to be a lot of beer in you and i go, this is going to be our season yeah we were the team to beat oh but not anymore were lookin at the score in shock and disbelief but were all in this together and theres always next year im liking all this team effort there aint no i in beer yeah were all in this together thats why god put us here go ahead and check your websters there is no i in beer. Try it again, little buddy. Guillermo all right farmers and the First Responders to the truck driver shifting gears every nurse that needs a break let me a buy you a drink there aint no i in beer no, there aint no i in beer last chance, guillermo, go for it [ bleep ]. Guillermo one more time. Last chance, guillermo, see if you can get it this time. I hope [ bleep ] already. Yeah, yeah there is no i in beer no, there aint no i in beerbeer you did it, guillermo youve officially achieved the american dream. Well be right back. We adapt and we change were here to keep you safe. And shop 100s of. We adapt and we change epic deals no coupons needed . Plus, get kohls cash athletic shoes are 49. 99 under. Tees and shorts 9. 99 under. Instant pot and nutribullet 59. 99 under plus, free store pickup. Find a little more this fall. Kohls top down, the city riding with me been through the storm and the gritty do it for the mom and pop on every block new day, sunshine on every block windows open, im yelling unity sidebyside with my community celebrate, lets have a jubilee its bigger than you and me theyve been there for us lets be there for them theyve been there for us thats all the time weve got tonight. Id like to thank rainn wilson, Carrie Underwood, and my buddy, jimmy kimmel. John legend will be your host tomorrow with his guest dj khaled. Nightline is next. Goodnight. Right now, at this defining moment in america. We gonna be all right with so much on the line. From abc news, my america, your america, our america. This is turning point. Tonight, driving while black. Pulled over five times more than white drivers in some cities. Driver looks more like one of our suspects because of the wideset nose. Philando castile stopped 52 times before he was killed behind the wheel. Now his family speaking out, demanding change. Does it offend you that he was pulled over that many times . Yes, it does, because it definitely means he was profiled. Plus, why one