The moscow zoo, which is where saturn retired, who issued a statement, even theoretically, if the animal belonged to someone, animals are not involved in war and politics it is absurd to blame them for human sins. But how about that, hitler had an alligator. A weird haircut, exotic pets. This really was the joe exotic of the 40s. Here in california, we are entering phase three of the governors plan to reopen the say the. Eric garcetti announced all Retail Businesses are allowed to let customers in, provided they take the necessary precautions. Curbside botox injections could start up again as soon as next week. In las vegas, several casinos are set to open. They will be offering nocontact, curbside delivery, which means you can drop off your money and drive away without ever having to go inside to lose. The governor of nevada, Steve Sisolak says theyve taken every precaution possible and that he doesnt think youre going to find a safer place to come than las vegas. Heres the thing. You know things are messed up when las vegas is bragging about how safe it is. Before this, the slogan was, even if you killed a hooker, no one will ever find out, right . The president and his space poodle were in florida today for the big nasa spacex launch. This would have been the First Time Ever a private company sent astronauts into orbit, the astronauts, nasa guys, thats the wrong bob and doug. Theres the right bob and doug, dressed like part of the tron laser light parade. The mission had to be scrubbed at the last minute due to weather. The astronauts were all strapped in, all ready to go. And they canceled the launch. Trump got very nervous. He thought they said they were canceling the lunch. But it was just the launch. People are blaming the president for jinxing this thing because he showed up to see it, just like they say he jinxed alabama by showing up to their home game or how hes jinxed everything hes ever touched. But this is not his fault. Elon musks test run for his escape from earth will have to wait and you cant blame the president for it. They have to wait for saturday, which is disappointing to trump. Hes been a big proponent of getting americans the hell off this planet. A lot of very important things will be taking place in space. Well be doing the moon. I just call it space. We want space. Were creating a new force, and its called the space force, and thats a big thing. Space is terrific. Space is terrific. Space. Going to be a lot of things happening in space. People are surprised when he doesnt wear a mask. So anyway, this is how the day started, and this is how the day ended. Its been an allcaps kind of week for our dear misleader. Twitter for the First Time Ever flagged his tweets as potentially misleading. This is the first time theyve ever done Something Like this. They put a link below the tweet saying get the facts about mailin ballots, disproving trumps claim that mailin ballots lead to widespread voter fraud. Do we really need twitter to tell us that, he took to twitter to lash out. He wrote twitter is now interfering in the 2020 president ial election. They are saying my statement on mailin ballots which will lead to massive corruption and fraud is fake. They would have labeled that tweet as misleading, too, but he continued. Twitter is completely stifling free speech, and i, as president , will not let that happen. What that means, who knows. I guess it was only a matter of time before donald trump would be in a twitter feud with twitter. This vote by mail is pretty scary. Hes setting the stage to claim he was cheated if he loses the election, which could potentially result in real violence in this country, and to help him push our democracy toward the edge of a cliff, Kellyanne Conway spoke to the press saying pandemic. People wait in line for an hour to get a cupcake. Jimmy you hear that, jane . You get a cupcake. What . Jimmy shes not listening to me, either. She won big points with president sprinkles on that one. Thats as close as he gets to a threesome nowadays, vote or diabetes. Theres a lot of stupid stuff going on in washington. Thats why we need kids in school so they dont grow up to be donald trump. Kids in zoom school, our guillermo has been offering his services as a tutor. For that, go get the kids, its time for homework corner with guillermo. Guillermo welcome to homework corner with guillermo. Today question is what is the chemical symbol of water. Okay. Symbol of water. Symbol of water. Well, listen, i dont drink water. I only drink tequila. So unfortunately, i cannot help you. Jimmy do you know what tequila is . Hmmm. Jimmy no, thats good. All right. Gracias, guillermo. We need to take a break. But well be right back with the squeakyclean howie mandel. 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Register now at aidswalk. Net jimmy welcome back to Jimmy Kimmel Live from my house. Tomorrow night my guest will be Dakota Johnson who just happens to be my next door neighbor. Were going to scream to each other over the fence. And on friday night we welcome the great sean penn. No one in the world was more prepared for these Uncertain Times than my guest tonight his whole life to this point has been a pandemic bootcamp. You can watch him safely on the new season of americas got talent tuesday nights on nbcplease welcome mr purell, howie mandel. Hi, howie. How are you doing . Hi, jimmy. Ten weeks, ten weeks. When do the salons open up . When can you go to a barber, ten weeks . Jimmy your hair is really unkept. Its getting out of control. Oh, my god, it is. Look at my roots. I dont know if you can see. Its been crazy. Youre lucky, you got a show every day. I got to look for things to do each and every day. Jimmy what are you doing . Everybody was doing banana bread, and then tiedyeing. My wife and i, we dont know how though tiedye, but we made these. We made these. I dont know if you can see this. Jimmy you made that . So we made about 200 of them. And a portion of the proceeds go to us. So im really, sighted about what ive been doing. Jimmy i am flattered, i have to say, so howie, i want to talk to you, because honestly, when this happened, i swear to god, were you one of the first people i thought of. It was like, i dont know, like you think of rudolph at christmas time. I thought, oh, howie has been warning us about this for so many years, and i feel like, i would imagine that you got contacted by most everyone youve ever met, yeah. Well, like you just pointed out. Rudolph for christmas, judolph for pandemic. This is the nightmare going on inside my head for the last 64 years. Welcome to my nightmare, jimmy. This is what its like to be howie mandel. Jimmy we are all howie mandel now, and its interesting. Its no fun. Its not fun being me, even from the cusp of this, its not fun being me. Well talk about this later, i was taping agt which started premiering at the beginning of it, right . And it was kind of funny, before we even got shut down. Heidi klum walks in and i said god, you look great. She goes, this is my entrance outfit. Theres cameras out there like tmz and all these other people, and i go, you have an entrance outfit. Thats a good idea. So the next day, knew this pandemic was happening and all was aflutter about toilet paper and safety. This is before they shut everything down. It would be kind of funny. My outfit will be, and i took a bicycle helmet, and i took a roll of toilet paper, not say anything, just walking out of the car, thinking great, it will be funny, right . If you look in the paper, it was at the daily mail, a big uk paper, it say the Sofia Vergara, wearing armani enters the stage. Heidi klum wearing versace, look at her beautiful jeans and jacket, then howie mandel arrived in a helmet and his own toilet paper. No reference to a pandemic. Jimmy what youve done is pulled a prank on yourself, which is kind of perfect. I know you love, you love pulling pranks, and youve done some funny stuff to me. But now that youre in the house, are you just torturing your wife . Whats going on there . I did. I did. Everybody was doing, this is my ill give you an idea of the sense of whats going on in my house. My wife, like a lot of other people, are doing puzzles. I dont like puzzles, but she buys like thousandpiece puzzles and she sits there. Thats her whole focus. Honey . Not now, i know where this goes. I took one piece, and i tied it, and then i just sit there waiting for the next couple days, just waiting. Waiting. And then theres always one missing, and she screams, and shes in such pain and im in such joy. Its the yin and yang of a long marriage. Weve been married 40 years. Jimmy she must know you have the puzzle piece, right. Shes a big fan of yours, now she does. Shell be watching you. Jimmy are you getting food delivered to your home . Or is that off the table . Im the biggest germaphobe in the world. Im not a heavy guy. Ive lost between 15 and 20 pounds, again, shes watching. Shes cooking. My wife is cooking. Dont laugh. Shes not good. Shes not a good i mean everything i taste goes right through me. Shes the worst, im not making a joke. This is crap. I told her to make a cookbook. Well sell it as a diet book but she can make it a recipe book. You follow her recipes, it just comes off, look at me. Im just a fraction of my original self. Jimmy have you thought of maybe pitching in and helping in the kitchen and doing some of the cooking for the family yourself . No, no, because listen, i shouldnt throw stones, you know, if you live in a glass house. Jimmy at your wife, yeah. I shouldnt throw stones at i cant cook either. Both of us are just lost in this house. Were hungry. Please send food. Jimmy well, you look good. Yes, i will send you some food. What were going to do, were going to take a break. Stick around, i know you have nowhere to go. You have no choice but to stick around. When we come back, howie has an exciting new project that we will unveil together when we return. Well be right back. Return. Well be right back. Ever. Thats why were offering our best unlimited deal. Switch and get four lines of unlimited for just 100 a month. Thats right four lines, for 100 bucks if thats not enough, to really amp this up, were including four amazing iphone 11s, on us, when you trade in iphone 6ss or newer, in any condition. And now, sprint customers enjoy access to expanded coverage on the tmobile network. Shop from the comfort of your home at sprint. Com or come see us in our stores. For people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay. Com. You cant give them everything they want. But you can find lots of things theyll love at petsmart. This week, get 15 off and a free care package with Curbside Pickup orders. Less oral steroids. Taking my treatment at home. Nucala is a oncemonthly addon injection for severe eosinophilic asthma. Not for sudden breathing problems. Allergic reactions can occur. Get help right away for swelling of face, mouth, tongue, or trouble breathing. Infections that can cause shingles have occurred. Dont stop steroids unless told by your doctor. Tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection. May cause headache, injection site reactions, back pain, and fatigue. Ask your doctor about nucala at home. Find your nunormal with nucala. Aswhen we closed our wynn committed instantly. To keeping all 15,000 team members onboard. We then focused our fivestar level of service to all who needed it. We made improvements to peoples lives. We strove to be better and we made people happy. This closure may have temporarily taken us out of wynn and encore, but it couldnt take the wynn and encore out of us. And now, we are proud to welcome you back. Jimmy welcome back to Jimmy Kimmel Live from my house. I am here with howie mandel. Did america ever have talent . You know, it never ceases to amaze me, not only do we have talent, i dont know if you watched yesterdays show, but we are, we had archie, the guy that was incarcerated. And Sofia Vergara joined us, heidi klum is back. Yes, theres a ton of talent. Im thrilled, but i have other, ive been busy with other stuff, too. Jimmy youve got this master class, and it really is, it turns out to be a stroke of fortune for you that this would happen at this time. Can i just say one thing . Jimmy yes, go ahead. The producers of these master classes from the best directors and storytellers and psychologists and scientists. When they approached me, jimmy, thats the pinnacle. If i do nothing else in my career, im thrilled. Jimmy here he is, howie mandel. Is what i teach a science or an art . I say its both. I dont refer to it as washing my hands, because to me its so much more than washing, its my hands making love. I see a lot of kids who are new to the game, who say, you know, the fingers are the most important, or youve got to get the palms. No no thats wrong. You must give each part of the hand equal attention and respect. These are my children. And there are no favorites. Theyre all equal. This is the ovation. Pet the kitty. Making stinkies. Starting the motorcycle. Vrrroom. Making it rain. This ones the anxious butterfly. Sex on the beach. Am i an expert . Of course not. I am the expert. I am howie mandel, and i will teach you to clean your hands cleaner than theyve ever been cleaned before. Smell my finger. Jimmy wow. You know what . So many years of study. So many years of intense concentration, and it all, its benefitting all of mankind now, thank you, howie mandel. Howie, you have chosen our charity for tonight. Each night we highlight a charity. I make a donation to that charity. Youve chosen kids connect at ucla. Tell us about that. They just do wonderful work for kids with autism and also their parents. Its just a great support group and a great system in teaching it. There are so few places that reach this level of support for, you know, kids with autism and families that are dealing with autism. Jimmy well, thank you for highlighting them. Thank you for being with us, honest, ive been thinking about you since the very first day of this. And i hope you are taking some satisfaction from the fact that you have washed your hands so thoroughly, so beautifully, and you have not contracted the virus. Um, i take, theres no satisfaction for me, im going nuts. Im actually, honestly going nuts. The only saving grace is that the people from master class approached me and i feel like i can give something back. Jimmy i have some bad news for you about that, too, but ill tell you later. Howie mandel, everybody. Thank you, howie. Well be right back. What, jimmy . What . This is my body of proof. Proof i can fight moderate to severe rheumatoid arthritis. Proof i can fight psoriatic arthritis. With humira. Proof of less joint pain. And clearer skin in psa. Humira targets and blocks a source of inflammation that contributes to joint pain and irreversible damage. Humira can lower your ability to fight infections. Serious and sometimes fatal infections, including tuberculosis, and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened, as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. Tell your doctor if youve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common and if youve had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flulike symptoms or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. Humira is proven to help stop further joint damage. Want more proof . Ask your rheumatologist about humira citratefree. If you cant afford your medicine, abbvie may be able to help. Charmin ultra soft is so soft much are you hon . If you cant afford your medicine, youll have to remind your family they can use less. Charmin ultra soft is twice as absorbent so you can use less. Enjoy the go with charmin. Good mormore treatment . Were going to try Something Different today. Hi awwww, so pretty. Dogs bring out the good in us. Pedigree® brings out the good in them. Did you know Liberty Mutual customizes your Car Insurance tada so you only pay for what you need . I should get a quote. Do it. Only pay for what you need. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Jimmy well, that is it for us. I want to thank howie mandel, nightline is next. Thanks for watching, and now, if youll excuse me, i have 300 dishes to wash. This is nightline. Tonight, arizona on the brink. Patients are patients are suffering. Doctors are suffering burnout. Were leaving sometimes in tears. The dire warning from patients. I thought it was okay to go out. I had the mask. Its not as dangerous as everybody thinks it is. Fears the state could be the next epicenter. Indigenous girls learning the skills of survival. How the disappearance of one of their own moved a sisterhood to reclaim their
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