Mayo. Trump was up very late last night watching tv and rage tweeting at 12 46 a. M. , and today he wrote, wow, congratulations to greg gutfeld. His ratings easily beat no talent stephen colbert, and whacko last placer jimmy kimmel. I think this was another typo situation. I think what he meant to tweet is, im completely devastated by the loss of life caused by this insidious virus. My thoughts are with the families whose loved ones have passed. P. S. , congrats to greg gutfeld, thats better, right . He does seem to be familiar with all the late night shows. I heard if you snort enough add add adderall, you can watch them all at once. The president going to a factory where they manufactured n95 masks. The big question was, would he wear a mask . Lets find out. No, he did not. I love that they didnt turn the volume on the guns and roses down even one notch. I can think of no better metaphor for this presidency than donald trump not wearing a face mask to a face mask while the song live and let die blares in the background. And testing, thats how we can make it safe to go back to work. It seems like a nobrainer. But nobrainers are sometimes hard to get a bead on when you have no brains. The antibody tests, look, we have so much testing, i dont think you need that kind of testing or that much testing. But some people disagree with me, some people agree with me. Right. Doctors disagree, and crazy people agree. This is a guy by the way who has every person who comes to the white house, theyre tested. But for us, the testing, not so necessary. And the president isnt the only one pushing. Chris christie said there will be deaths no matter what. So we might as well get back to work. I like the idea that Chris Christie is telling us what the healthy thing for our is. He doesnt get his pizza sliced, he just gets it round. People are never talking about their own deaths. Open the outback steakhouse, governor christie needs a bloomin onion. And at our house, every week is Teacher Appreciation week. Children are wonderful to a point. A point we passed about 35 days ago. Were lucky to have teachers to pawn them off on. We asked parents about their gratitude for teachers on this very special day. Dear teachers thank you. Thanks for all you do. Every single day. We never fully appreciated you. We took you for granted. But having our kids at home has taught us beyond a shadow of a doubt. That our children our children. Our sweet, beautiful children are terrible. Selfish. Impossible monsters. Who suck our life force. Begging for snacks like zoo animals. All day on tiktok. And youtube. While im printing out 500 wo worksheets. And trying to figure out what the hell the water cycle is. Theres jelly on my laptop. Thank you, teachers. Thank you. How are you not all alcoholics . You deserve more money. Much more. How does the president make more than you do . We promise to never ever. Ever take you for granted again. Thank you for taking our toddlers and teenagers for seven magical hours every day. Dad, where are you . Shut up this message brought to you by trojan ultra thick condoms. Next time, double up. Teachers, thank you. When we come back, our first ever visit from Jerry Seinfeld. [10th gen intel bong] tomorrow can only be better with wendys breakfast. Win with a breakfast baconator, honey butter chicken biscuit, sausage egg and swiss croissant or frostyccino. And get another for a dollar. You and wendys breakfast. Tomorrow is lookin good for ralphies appointment. Whos his groomer . Carrie. Full groom for sure what . I just booked ralphies appointment online. That work . Wait you what . Its that easy download the app or book online at petsmart. Com new force flex plus, bright colors febreze freshness. New force flex plus, bright colors with moderate to severe treplaque psoriasists uncover clearer skin that can last. In fact, tremfya® was proven superior to humira® in providing significantly clearer skin. Tremfya® may increase your risk of infections and lower your ability to fight them. Tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms or if you had a vaccine or plan to. Serious allergic reactions may occur. Tremfya®. Uncover clearer skin that can last. Janssen can help you explore cost support options. brad apartmentsdotcom makes easier than ever. W home brokenhearted guy i thought you loved me. [brokenhearted guy sobs] apartmentsdotcom. The most popular place to find a place. Jimmy welcome back to Jimmy Kimmel Live from my house. My guest tonight is making his first appearance on our show. He is one of my and everyones favorites. His excellent new standup special Jerry Seinfeld 23 hours to kill, it comes out on netflix today. Please welcome Jerry Seinfeld. Hi, jerry. Hey, jimmy, hows it going. Jimmy now i feel underdressed. Youre the first person whos dressed up on the show from home. I am a real professional comedian, and this is my first time on your show and i thought this was kind of a big moment. Jimmy now i feel dumb. I wanted to dress. Jimmy how are you handling your hair . Are you letting anyone touch your hair during the pandemic . Are haircuts okay . It looks good. I have a clipper, and after the show, im going to have my wife clip it down to about a halfinch, and that will last me about three months. Jimmy you trust her with that duty . No, but im going to do it anyway. Jimmy are you in the office right now or the hallway or where . Yes, this is my office in my house long island. Jimmy nice. And you have records there. Do you listen to lps . Robert kline, George Carlin on the bottom. I set that up just for this. Jimmy did you really . Yeah. Sure. Jimmy because i, very carefully, picked which cookbooks i would have on my desk so all the chefs watching would know and be excited. Only one of them has been watch watch watchling. Well see if the others tune in. Have you been watching the espn bulls, Michael Jordan the last dance . Im the last person to log on to that, but i will get to it, i know i will get to it. I havent seen it yet, but i heard about this part, but i dont know what it is. Jimmy thats great, lets play the clip so jerry can see it along with us. How you doing . Good to see you. [ bleep ]. These are a couple of your good fans right here. Every day they come in and watch the game, theyre watching your show, sooner or later, youre going to get tired of seinfeld. Lets go, guys. Hey, phil. All right, have a good game. Hes kicking me out. Good to see you. All right, good to see you, jerry. All right. This is not going to work, by the way. Let me get that out of there. Jimmy were you scared of phil jackson . No, just too tall. Jimmy you know, its funny, because phil jackson is an intimidating guy, especially when you feel like youre interrupting some kind of preparation. And i was wondering, because you did seem a little confused there in the locker room. Yeah, well, its not a place i would normally be. But i did, i think i had another conversation with him, because that was his last season, and i was in the middle of my last season. And i remember teasing him about who do you think is going to end bigger, him or me . Jimmy whats the most intimidated youve been with these athletes . Because its a strange thing when you meet some of these players you admire, even in some cases when they are younger than you are. You meet them, and you feel like a boy, for whatever reason i dont know, but ive experienced that, have you had that . Yes, yes. The most intimidated i ever was was when Keith Hernandez came on to my tv series, i think it was 92, and i had never met a baseball player. And i think the boy thing is because were so much physically smaller than them. I remember the day Keith Hernandez was coming on my show, changing my shirt three times, thinking, whats the right should i wear light blue . It that too casual . Maybe white, too dressy . Jimmy i saw Julia Louisdreyfus talking about this, and she said it was funny watching you guys with Keith Hernandez, she felt like she didnt even know you. Yeah, we were very intimidated by him. It was 92. They had just won in 86, so he was still a real idol of mine. Jimmy the mets should be in first place right now, getting our hopes up. Yes. Jimmy and then sliding along the way. Are you missing the baseball season . I mean, yeah. I mean, its like, its like the world stopped turning. Its the superman episode, i miss everything. But i dont, also. I just, i have, you know, nature just is like, this is a moment when nature says, hey, by the way, youre nothing compared to me. But thats what this moment is. And i respect that. Jimmy we talked about this over the summer. You threw out the first pitch at citi field. Yes. Jimmy and again, that is a situation that returns you to youth, it exposes every insecurity you have. Its a nowin situation in almost every way, because youre supposed to throw a strike or at least something resembling a strike. And how do you feel about your performance on the mound . Well, you know how i feel about it, because i told you. This is the greatest accomplishment of my life. My friend chuck says this is the greatest thing youve accomplished in your life, because you had to do all the other things just to get to that mound. Jimmy uhhuh. So i got to the mound and i really wasnt thinking that much about it. And one of the players in the dugout says hey, you want to warm up . I go warm up, what . Its a ceremonial pitch, whats the difference . He said, you might want to warm up. So i warmed up in the locker room. And then i just threw this absolute beauty, which i think is maybe the greatest, i mean, that is a dead perfect strike. Jimmy you have a sidearm delivery. Its almost full sidearm. Yes, sidearm delivery. Thats the style that i like to show off. Jimmy yes, youve got like a kent tekulve type delivery. Yeah. Jimmy i also threw out the first pitch at citi field. You and i discussed this. Jimmy yeah. And you said you threw from the we did the same. Ladies and gentlemen, jimmy kimmel now you did very well, but i dont think youre going to get a call on that. I dont think the umps arm is going to go up. Jimmy i was going for still photographs, because i feel like, unless you throw it away, they dont even show the pitch. You never see the video unless something terrible happens. Yeah. Now this is george w. , which is considered one of the greatest opening pitches. And i think hes a little high. I think hes just a bit high there. Jimmy he had some movement on the ball there. You do have to admit that. Lets look at that one more time. I think you can see, he had a little bit of movement. He really you have heard him say this was the most nervous he was in his eight years of being president was this moment. Jimmy were you nervous when you threw out the first pitch . Not until i stood on the rubber and realized, gee, 60 feet, 6 inches is kind of far. And im a 65yearold man who has never played any organized baseball in my life. Jimmy oh, really . Youve never played baseball . I assumed were you a Little League guy. No. Never had a uniform, never had anything. So i am more proud of that than anything ive ever done. Jimmy all right, were sharing the sad story of Jerry Seinfelds youth. When we come back, were going to see a clip from his new comedy special on netflix. Well be right back. Is all about protecting one thing the fun anywhere under the sun fun. Sidewalk fun longlasting fun poolside fun. Banana boat sunscreen lasts as long as the fun does. When we closed our wynn committed instantly to keeping all 15,000 team members onboard. We then focused our fivestar level of service to all who needed it. We made improvements to peoples lives. We strove to be better and we made people happy. This closure may have temporarily taken us out of wynn and encore, but it couldnt take the wynn and encore out of us. And now, we are proud to welcome you back. People like to say those things, it is what it is, see, if you repeat a word twice in the same sentence, you can say that with a lot of confidence. Business is business. Rules are rules. A deals a deal. When we go in there, as long as we know whats what and whos who, whatever happens happens, and it is what it is. Jimmy that is Jerry Seinfeld. His special is Jerry Seinfeld 23 hours to kill. It is on netflix as of today. I loved it, jerry. I really thought it was great. Oh, thanks. Thank you. Jimmy and it was reminding me, and i was really trying to think about what it reminded me of. It reminded me of watching steph curry play basketball, because it looks so effortless, but its so fluid, and you know watching it that even though it looks so easy that how much skill and practice and effort went into it. And i have to say, my favorite line of the whole thing, i know this is a little line. You said, nobody likes anything. And i couldnt agree more. That was my favorite. Jimmy nobody likes anything. Right. Jimmy yeah. Are you and jessica, your wife, now that youve been in quarantine together for quite some time, are you Getting Along Better or worse . Better. I think everyone is Getting Along Better in the world right now, for the most part. Its because everyone realizes this, you know, we have a unifying enemy. And i find that everybodys trying 10 to 12 harder just to be nice. Dont you find that . Jimmy not really, no. But im watching cnn all day, so im looking at a guy in a klan hood at the super market and people shoving a park ranger into a lake because he told them to distance themselves from each other. But at my house, yes. I am trying to behave. I am trying to clean up after myself, which i dont do, usually. Im trying to be a better husband and roommate, more than anything. Yes, and i enjoy playing that game. I enjoy, you know, before i ask for the ketchup, whats the nicest way you can ask for ketchup. I actually think, hey, if no ones using the ketchup, i would love a little more ketchup. Instead of just normally i would go, give me that. Jimmy im trying to do that, too. But occasionally, ill have an offbeat and that was one of the things in your special. You said its not necessarily what you say, the way you say things. The tone. Marriage is a tone game. Jimmy yes. Yeah, i think marriage is a game of chess, except the board is water, and the pieces are smoke. Jimmy i like that. Thats whats going on with me right now. Yeah. Jimmy yeah. So no matter what move you make, it will not affect the outcome of the game. Jimmy each night we are highlighting a charity. And you and jessica have a charity that you started 20 years ago called the good 20 years ago. Jimmy foundation. Its to help kids and parents with basic needs. Groceries, rent, all those sorts of things. Yeah. Jimmy and that is very important. You guys have been doing this. And i heard you got a big donation from a baseball player. Justin verlander and his wife kate upton. He donated his salary for the year, or the day, it was a lot of money, whatever it was. Jess has been doing an insane job. Shes on the phone all day long getting emergency grants, social workers to help people whose lives are really, really threatened by this. If you dont have any cushion under you, and then its rent, its food, its diapers. And theyve done an amazing job. Jimmy well, we are going to make a donation to the good plus foundation. We encourage you to go to their website and check them out. Jerry, i have to say i loved your special. I am so happy to have you here. Thank you. Jimmy i hope one day if we are ever allowed out of our homes again we can convene in los angeles on a stage with human beings around. Thanks, Jerry Seinfeld, everybody. Thanks, jimmy. Jimmy we will be right back. Thank you. For worse or for better yeah through any kind of weather, yo youre my friend in need. come on, come on we stick together, we make the sunshine brighter, we make it all feel better, youre my, youre my, woo, yeah youre my family. yo youre my family. Hey guys want to stack different pringles flavors to create new flavor combos . Here ill. Go first. Pizza, barbeque and jalapeno. The spicy barbecue pizza stack. Get him grandpa whats going on . Were trapped in a pringles commercial, they must have taken us in our sleep. Stack pringles flavors make new ones. You know limu,g after all these years its the ones that got away that haunt me the most. [ squawks ] cause youre not like everybody else. Thats why Liberty Mutual customizes your car insurance, so you only pay for what you need. What . Oh, i said. Uh, this is my floor. Nooo only pay for what you need. Hit it, charlie matthew, says to bring it back. The fivedollar footlong. Better choice for matthew. Its back sandwich emoji. Fivedollar footlongs are back when you buy two. For a limited time. Fivedollar footlongs are back when you buy two. cat 2 flook at that cat 1 its made with real farmraised chicken gomyawont cat 1 its friskies farm favorites cat 2 the winning farmula. woman vo feed their fantasy. Friskies cat 1 look friskies ocean favorites yum jimmy that is all the time we have. Id like to thank Jerry Seinfeld and apologize to matt damon. Nightline is next. Tomorrow night, we have something fun with kevin bacon and kyra sedgwick. And ill teach you how to cut your wifes hair in her sleep. Thanks for watching. Good night. The search is on for this woman, accused of intentionally coughing on a baby at a store in the south bay. Oakland educators rallying on monday to do away with the Oakland Unified SchoolDistricts Police department. President trumps executive order banned some workers from the united states, impact it could have in silicone valley. How hot its getting and where the advisories are in affect. Building a better bay area, for a safe and security future. This is abc7 news. We dont need the cops. Teachers joined others to protest police in schools. They are urging the board to pass a measure that could eliminate the Schools Police department. Abc7 newss reporter j. R. Stone has the story. We are no longer asking for anything. We are demanding it and taking it. Policeavri paren d to the streets on foot and in cars. To make it be known they want the districts