And she did not. Then there was only one suspect left, our son billy, who just turned three. He did it he found little piece of wallpaper in janes dollhouse and pasted it on spideys face. So, if you think your kids arent absorbing all this, thats going on, youre wrong. I do need to explain to billy that spidey is already wearing a mask. You dont put a mask on a mask. Its like putting two condoms on. Ill wait on explaining that. In mexico city, someone came up with a fun way to keep riders on the train safe. Mexico city doesnt want its Public Health campaign to turn into a circus, so it hired professional clowns to spray the hands of metro riders with disinfectant and to tell them, wear a face mask, dont be a clown. Its great to see clowns on the subway, because if youre angry, they make you laugh. Jimmy and you wouldnt like him when hes angry. Between spiderman and the hulk, the avengers are really doing their part to keep the mask effort going strong. Even with everything going on, despite all the warnings about spiking this virus again, as some states begin to ease stay at home restrictions, millions of americans are eagerly getting back out there. According to the New York Times 25 million more people left their homes last week than in the six weeks before it. Which is nuts. Even the munchkins didnt come out of hiding until the witch was pronounced dead. And its not just the human folk. This happened yesterday in san jose. Goat tam stampede in the neighborhood. No masks on, running around. Blockem jimmy you blockem. You know all this time weve been afraid of robots taking over. Little did we know wed have to do battle with goats. Hide your tin cans heres a taste of what life might be like going forward. Theres a fine dining establishment in virginia, a restaurant called the inn at Little Washington that has a plan for reopening. Social distancing will probably mean a lot of empty tables. Which isnt great ambiance wise. So the owner of this restaurant is putting mannequins in the empty seats. To make it feel full. For real. Its a whole restaurant full of jared kushners. The chef at the restaurant said ive always had a thing for mannequins. Really . We never would have guessed that. If you live in the area, so, finally, you can enjoy a threestar michelin meal in the storage room at westworld. Yesterday dr. Anthony fauci warned congress about the dangers of opening things up too soon and today he got a shout out from the alwaysincisive Brian Kilmeade on fox and friends. Shouldnt we also go to school on the success georgias having in shouldnt we also go to school on the success floridas experiencing and South Carolina, even dr. Mauci said thats the model. Jimmy dr. Mauci . Thats chairman mauci, to you brian. Mauci. Forget dr. Mauci, what i want to know about dr. Oz and what is going on with his hair . For whatever reason some of these dopes at fox news are treating dr. Fauci like hes the enemy in all this. Tucker carlson, last night on his show, questioned faucis stance on sending kids back to school. Fauci says the children must stay home or countless people will die. Thats the message. Its time to ask a very simple question. How does he know this exactly . Is tony fauci right about the science . Do we have any particular reason to think he is right . Jimmy well, lets see he is the director of the National Institute of allergy and infectious diseases. Theres that. These guys are unbelievable. Anyone trusting fox news over doctors right now should only be allowed to see Tucker Carlson when their stool comes out red. But the president , fox news viewer number one, now says he disagrees with fauci too. He is ready to open schools. I think that we have to open our schools. Young people are very little affected by this. We have to get our schools open. We have to get our country open. We have to open our country. Now, we want to do it safely, but we also want to do it as quickly as possible. We cant keep going on hilike this. Youre having bedlam in the streets already. We have to get it open. Jimmy well, listen, in fairness to trump, if your kids came out like eric and don jr. You would want to get schools going again soon too. What a mess. Drum donald trump believes he can wish this virus away. He knows more than the doctors meanwhile, joe biden is quietly at home and he is planning to stay put for the foreseeable future. Hes basically grandpa joe from willy wonka right now. Biden is doing what they call campaigning from home. And its going well. As you can see from this map, he has a commanding lead at home. A lot of blue in the living and bedroom areas. The toilets, in red, belong to trump. By the way, why do we need to see the guy running for president anyway . Back when this all started, unless you lived within walking distance of a train station, you never got to see the president at all. People who voted for the first 15 president s probably didnt even know what they looked like. They were just like, james polk . That name sounds cute. This is a not at all surprising trend. Sales of pajamas have skyrocketed. Theyre up 143 . And sales of pants are down 13 . At this point i dont even remember why we wore pants at all. Why . Were our legs cold . Pants are now an option and i came up with a fun game to play. Its called is jimmy wearing pants . The way it works is, we put five seconds on the clock and you have to guess if i am bottomless. Okay . Here we go. Lets play. You have your answer . The answer is no, i am not wearing pants. Ive not worn pants for a month. Guillermo, next week well play it with you, guillermo. Are you wearing pants right now . Guillermo no, im wearing shorts. Jimmy weel ne jimmy we need to take a break, but well be right back with bill murray, so stick around. Dicky Abcs Jimmy Kimmel live, brought to you by the 2020 census. N help them in retu. Complete your 2020 census today. 2020 census data helps communities plan funding for hospitals, clinics, and Emergency Services across the country. An accurate count helps Public Health officials know who is at risk, and First Responders identify the resources they need to protect our communities. Complete your census at 2020census. Gov and help shape our future. Use yogurt or milk to soothe your skin or you could use schick hydro silk with hypoallergenic serum for the smooth shave we all deserve. Schick hydro silk for the smooth shave we all deserve. Only wendys 2 for 5 has all the chicken you crave. You can choose from the spicy or homestyle chicken sandwich. Crispy or spicy 10piece nuggets. But lets be real, youre gonna get those 20 spicy nuggs for 5 bucks. Only at wendys. A new moment in wireless has begun. Tmobile and sprint are joining forces. By bringing together our two networks, tmobile will build americas largest and most reliable 5g network. With more towers, more engineers, and more coverage. Youll get the best 5g network, and the best prices. Welcome to tmobile. Americas largest 5g network. 16. laughter how many pints of iced tea are left in the pitcher . Times. Ten. So, wait. errhhhhh do you want to show us the continents on the. No. It is not going good. My mom is getting stressed out. speaks hebrew mommas tired. I, im, like. Woooo. screams sighs heavily so, starting just quickly by breathing in. I never thought id say this, but i kind of miss school the teachers, i mean, yall are gifted people i thank you so much for what youre doing. Their investment into our children is beyond what we can even imagine. Appreciate all that you do. Jimmy welcome back to Jimmy Kimmel Live from my house. Join us tomorrow night, my guest will be stephen curry. And we are going to honor our healthcare hero of the week with the help of a magnetic mystery museic man. If theres anyone who can shake us out of this pandemic doldrum, it is my guest tonight. Hes joining us now from murray manor, please welcome bill murray. Hi, bill. Hi, bill. How you doin . Hi, jimmy, how are you . Jimmy im doing well. Im doing well, but im in that funny moment. I im drawing my tub now, getting the right temperature is always a problem for me. Today is kind of a celebration, i havent seen you in a while. I thought a bubble bath would be appropriate, but you know how it is with bubbles, you cant jimmy you cant count on bubbles. You cant snap your fingers and make them. They just come when they come. Jimmy were not in a rush. We can wait for the bubbles to come. No, no. Im dying to talk to you. Im dying to see you. Jimmy you know, when you quarantine, you dont have to stay in the tub, as long as you stay on the inside of the house, youre okay. No, no, it depends on the state. Jimmy this is genius, really, because they do say soap and water are the best things to protect you from the virus, and youre right in it. Well, i dont know if i, im hoping to go, and, you know, cold tubs are really the best. And i want to spearmeexperiment that, because ive never tried to make bubbles in a cold tub. I want to be alive and happy and focussed with you as i can. But once we get to a certain point and weve accomplished what we really need to entertainment wise or socially distance wise, i think i might switch to cold. Jimmy i dont blame you for one moment. Whats the mood like in charleston, South Carolina where you are right now . Theyve opened the world sort of. Its reopened a little bit. Im wearing a mask when i go out. And most young people do not wear masks at all. They dont. The only people i see are people that havent put on their makeup yet, those kind of people. But i like it. But i think anyone that is not wearing a mask, you could argue, youre being socially irresponsible, youre risking your life and the lives of others, eh, maybe, who cares. But youre missing a real opportunity to say, im on the side of law and order. Jimmy thats right. Dont you understand . If i werent on the side of law and order i would have walked in with my guns drawn. Jimmy not just law and order but common decency. Are you missing baseball . You are a team owner in charleston . Im sorry to interrupt you. Theres not enough bubbles in this thing. There we go. That jimmy that should do it. . Th that could be the missing vaccine, we dont know. Yeah, theres no baseball. Ive been trying the korean baseball for about an inning at a time at night. But its okay. But it doesnt get it done. They have all the old games on espn, that kind of thing. But i really miss baseball. Jimmy bill, i went on the website of the charleston river dogs, the team you are coowner, and also, whats your job there . Youre the director of fun . . Th they call me the director of fun, yeah. They kick me down stairs. Jimmy i noticed you guys, even though you arent playing baseball, they are serving food. People can go to the stadium and pick up something to go from the joe. This is quite a menu. Whats the home wrecker, do you know that item on the menu . The home wrecker is like a 14inch hot dog. [ laughter ] jimmy wow. Have you been watching the last dance on espn . I know youre a bulls fan of course i have, of course i have. It ive actual little seen myself in the background. There i am right there play that back. I got the hat on because im last dancing today. But its a great thing. And its very fascinating to watch. People keep, are starting to, its too much for some people. They cant take, like both back to back. There are people who go i cant, it sort of knocks them out. Partly, i think they arrive, they come exhausted. But they think, i think it takes a lot out of people, you know. Takes a lot out of people to watch it. Jimmy did you ever have a memorable experience with Michael Jordan . I know many people are always having memorable experiences with you. Is there something that comes to mind when you think of him off the court . Well, i made the movie movi jam with Michael Jordan. Wed go play three or four holes of golf with larry bird and Michael Jordan. One of those deals where some sort of celebrity fool plays with a pro. And it was great, ditka and michael ande irn irn irn irn irn payton. All these guys hit it great. Somehow i ended up in the last group. Everybody was eliminated except my guy and i, mike Peter Jacobson against Michael Jordan. It was my teams fienal hole. H. Bubba phillips ran up with a picture from sports illustrated, michael, saying billy, this is the guy you got to beat on this hole. And i did beat him. Jimmy and you beat him. And i beat him. But he was exhausted o at tat t of the day, he to sign some 300,000 autographs. But just as he was leaving, i was like, michael and he was like, ah, one more . And i was like, would you take a photograph with my mother . And he went, what . And theres the most hilarious photograph of my mother, Lucille Collins murray, one of the stellar beauties on the planet standing next to this giant man. And the smiles on both of their faces, because they knew exactly how ridiculous the photograph looked. But he was a sweetie, he took the picture. Jimmy nice. Bill murrays with us. When we come back, bill is going to ep hhelp you. So well be right back. Ill be right back, too. Mmun, working to care for all of us. At novartis, we promise to do our part. As always, were doing everything we can to help keep cosentyx accessible and affordable. If you have any questions at all, call us, email us, visit us online. Were here to help support you when you need us. Take care, and be well. To learn more, call one eight four four cosentyx or visit cosentyx. Com music vo at verizon, were giving those who serve our best pricing ever. 30 per line for all nurses, teachers, First Responders, military, and their families. Plus, up to 700 off the oneplus 8. Because the people we rely on deserve a network they can rely on. Killer attitude. Nevor hydration. Neutrogena® hydro boost. The 1 hyaluronic acid moisturizer delivers 2x the hydration for supple, bouncy skin. Neutrogena®. Jimmy welcome back to Jimmy Kimmel Live from my house. Bi bill ma murray is in his tub at his house. Bill murray gives good advice. He gave us good advice when we had our baby. Maybe you can help some of these people, all right. Sure. Jimmy this young woman, kate, she says i have nothing to do in quarantine, do you have any advice . I think she should just walk around the house. I think youd be surprised how many insect infestations are happening right now. I dont think people are aware of it, this is the time when insects move. I think she should move around the perimeter of her house. You can use baking soda, baking powder, that kind of thing. She should just sprinkle the house around it. Neighbors that you dont get along with will see that and they wont be coming by any longer, so thats going to help the family. Jimmy little girls lovebugs. Theres gelato in the freezer that isnt mine. Should i eat it . Byebye, flor. Its a free concert. Thats the peoples gelato. Its a free concert. I should recommend to flor that she should try to make a drowning man with that gelato, make it for her father. Make some really dark coffee or espresso. And make root beer floats like crunchy on the outside, do that with coffee, and its really good. Do that with your parents and you become the favorite child. Jimmy one more question, should i let my dad cut my hair since all the barbershops are closed . Absolutely. My dad cut my hair until, i think i had maybe one, two barbershop haircuts in my whole grade school into high school. We had too many kids. There wasnt 100 to go get haircuts, you know, it just wasnt happening. So he learned how to cut hair. I now cut my own hair. I got one of those things, too. And i do it myself. And it looks better than, i mean, it needs a little cleaning up. But basically, cutting your on hair feels really good. She should let the kid do it himself and let the dad clean it up. Jimmy teamwork. It can be a bonding thing. Dad, you take one side, ill take the other side, well compare. Jimmy each night, we choose a charity, your son homer has a great res trataurant called 21 n point. And you are taking on guy fieri and his son in a nacho cheese making competition on friday on the Food Network Facebook page. Youll crush him, right . Yeah, i mean, i still havent met him in person. Ive talked to him on the phone and so forth, and he does a lot of nice things for other people. But i think this is going to be a tough week for guy, and i think guys friends should sit around him and tell him, its not all about winning, you got to learn to lose. You got to. Jimmy thank you, bill. Look what i found jimmy bill murrays making the most of quarantine. You cant go too far in a bubble bath. Jimmy you can never take a bubble bath too far. Bill murray, we appreciate it, well be right back. Trust toyota to be here for you. Your toyota dealers are offering so many ways for you to save, including 0 financing and attractive leases on our most popular toyotas, like camry, rav4 and tacoma. And toyota will defer your payments up to 90 days. You can even shop and buy online from the comfort of your home. All from the brand you trust. Today and tomorrow. Toyota. All from the brand you trust. Today and tomorrow. Only roomba uses 2 multisurface rubber brushes to clean all your floors. And with patented dirt detect technology, roomba finds dirt throughout your home. If its not from irobot, its not a roomba. Happy birthday so, it goes. Hold up your answers. How is mickey doing today . Youre just a really hard worker. Jimmy welcome back to Jimmy Kimmel Live. In my house, where ive spent every moment for the past two years, i think. But the good news is, ive finally had time to launch some Small Business ideas i had. I have so many great ideas. Like the horse of the month club. Every month, a different horse is delivered to your door. Its great for people who love horses, but not that much. I have so many strong ideas. Theres rentasock. Adopt a spider. Hummmmbler. The app that teaches you to hum. For only 12. 95 a month ive got so many great business ideas, i can barely get my teeth brushed in the morning. Oh, wait got a second, write this down, electricpowered toothbrush. Another good one. Im on a roll here and since im too busy thinking to organize my books, i use quickbooks live. They connect me with a live, certified bookkeeper who can update me on where all my new businesses stand. Like soup on a rope. Imagine. Youre out rounding up cattle and enjoying soup great idea jim. I actually just finished a live video session with my bookkeeper kiva who closed my books for the month and now im ready to start my newest and potentially most lucrative project. I call it pants for plants. At pants for plants, our goal is to make sure no plant ever goes nude again. Youre welcome, you little tease. Dicky quickbooks live, bookkeeping you can trust that your books are done right, guaranteed. Jimmy thats all the time we have. Id like to thank bill murray and apologize to matt damon. Go wash up this is nightline. Tonight, season of covid, putting one fashion foot forward to a new normal. Im missing a customers smiling face. S some retailers reopening, with a new look. And possibly changing how we shop forever. Plus, mystery illness. The scary reality for families. She was gray and ashy, and she was very dazed and confused. Children affected by a rare, new syndrome. My tummy hurted, and my throat was like dry. Jimm possibly related to the coronavirus. Nightline, bringing america back starts right now