And that would be if the wifi goes out. God forbid. Could you imagine . I dont know what id even do. Id probably just go to a rave and surrender to the virus. If someone asked me to choose between wifi and Running Water right now, i would drink my pool. My daughters and i played animal crossing all day yesterday on nintendo switch. Have you seen this game . All right. Theres nobody here. Anyway, shout out to tom nook and timmy at the shop. But my point was the internet is still chugging along. Its providing us with hundreds if not thousands of entertaining videos to make the days shorter. So many of you have been coming up with and sharing fun and unusual ways funusual ways to pass the time. And tonights is a good one too. This is our quarantime killer of the night. Quarantine party jimmy its like a Party Version of silence of the lambs. I like that. Well done. You know, for a lot of people like myself today began our third week of quarantine. And this is when your survival skills start to kick in. This is when we get resourceful. One of the guys who works on our show, an industrious young man named max, ran out of toilet paper. And obviously you cant just go out and buy it right now. So max went to amazon and searched novelty toilet paper and this is what he found. He found a roll that says holy other emoji youre 50. Max is 29. But his ass is 50. And its not like anyones coming over. So good for him. At the white house today jim acosta of cnn snapped this photograph of a white house staffer bringing in rolls of paper towels. I hope those were a gift from puerto rico. I really do. The president had his Daily Press Briefing yesterday in the white house rose garden, which gave him a chance to use his outside voice outside for a change. And you can see hes really putting out some positive energy. Why dont you people act let me ask you why dont you act in a little more positive . Its always trying to my question to you get you, get you. And you know what . Thats why nobody trusts the media anymore. My question is hows that going to impact excuse me, you didnt hear me. Thats why you used to work for the times and now you work for someone else. Read the statement. Read what i said. Who are you with, bloomberg, right . I cant imagine that. Excuse me, are you ready . Ready . Take a look at what i said. I want them to be appreciative of me. Okay . And then you cut it off because its fake news. You and your administration. Absolutely. Your statement and your response and your answer is a lie. Mr. President , my second question go ahead. Thats enough. Please. Please. My second question thats enough. Look, let me tell you something. Be nice. Jimmy hes nice. Why cant everyone else be nice . He just wants us all to be nice. Is that too much to ask . The president also took time during this deadly National Emergency to brag about the ratings for his press conferences. The american public, ultimately they should be the decider. Its like if they dont want to watch they shouldnt watch. And we shouldnt have bigger ratings than the bachelor or as the New York Times said we have monday night football type ratings. Now, i didnt say that. I have no idea what they are in a sense, but i know that the times, they say its all the news thats fit to print. I say its all the news thats not fit to print because i think they are not honest people. But thats okay. But they cant help it. But even they said that the ratings are like monday night football ratings. And that these are like bachelor finale. Thats their end. When the big deal happened. I have no idea what happened because im too busy working on this. Someday youll tell me what happened. No, i think its terrible. Jimmy you think whats terrible . I thought you were happy. You were happy about the ratings. What is terrible . You know, i hear words coming out of your mouth but i dont know what they mean. I will say this. Its strange how the New York Times lies about everything except his tv ratings. And by the way, just because people are watching you doesnt mean its good. Have you heard of the masked singer . Right now half of this country is watching a show about a bunch of toothless meth heads abusing tigers. But the president is very proud of himself and couldnt resist blowing his big orange horn on twitter too. He wrote because the ratings of my news conferences et cetera are so high bachelor finale, monday night football type numbers according to the New York Times, the lamestream media is going crazy. Trump is reaching too many people. We must stop him, said one lunatic. See you at 5 00 p. M. Yeah, lets meet up for unhappy hour. The positive news is the president for once appears to have listened to someone. Despite originally saying everybody would be back to work by easter he announced he will extend social distancing guidelines through april 30th. So purell has frozen over. Im honestly surprised he didnt just say hes moving easter. I spoke to jesus, he said sir, if you need to move easter i will wait to rise again. You know, many if not every state is running desperately low on medical supplies, especially ventilators and masks. So trump, because he cant ever be at fault for anything, has suggested that someone at the hospitals must be stealing them. He said somethings going on. Where are the masks going . Are they going out the back door . Yeah, like someone pinched a crate of silverware from one of his casinos in atlantic. What is what on earth is he implying that after work these nurses get off their 12hour shift and steal masks so they can go sand a deck in their back yard . You know how when you overhear something at another table at a restaurant thats so crazy you want to Say Something but your wife tells you not to and then you think about it all night . Our president is the guy sitting at that table. He had another doozy of a press conference today. He invited a group of Major Business leaders to join him to discuss their efforts to help with emergency relief including the ceos of honeywell, procter gamble, jockey, United Technologies and the guy from my pillow. Our president gave us so much hope when just a few short months ago we had the best economy, the lowest unemployment and wages going up. It was amazing. With our great president , Vice President , and this administration and all the great people in this country praying daily we will get through this and get back to a place thats stronger and safer than ever. Thank you. Thank you, mike. Appreciate it. Please come on up. I did not know he was going to do it. But hes a friend of mine. I do appreciate it. Jimmy well, you know what . You invite the guy from my pillow, you made your own bed. Literally. Meanwhile, and i hope trump doesnt find out about this, because he will be very jealous. A bakery in rochester, new york called donuts delight is selling donuts featuring the face of dr. Anthony fauci. There he is. His face is printed on top of a thick layer of butter cream. Making donuts to bring attention to a Health Crisis might be the most american thing any american has ever done. So congratulations to them. I also want to wish a happy doctors day to dr. Anthony fauci and all the medical professionals out there and not just for what theyre doing right now. But for all year we show them our weird bodies and they dont laugh at us and we really do appreciate that too. You know, a very good way to thank doctors right now is to follow their orders when they tell you to stay home. Many people are not. In the midst of all this there are people throwing coronavirus parties. For real. A guy in maryland threw two coronavirus parties last week. And look, i dont want anybody to get coronavirus. Except for that guy in maryland. If possible id like him to get two of them. Police in some cities in the south were also having trouble with churches where pastors are refusing to close because they believe god will protect them from the virus. One Pentecostal Church in louisiana had more than 1,000 people show up this weekend. And they were hugging and touching and laying hands on each other. Which is not good. It is bad for everyone. You know, its important to remember that you dont have to go to church. You dont even have to leave your home to celebrate the word of the lord because rest assured, tv televangelist Kenneth Copeland is busy on the case. In the name of jesus oh, thank you, jesus. Standing in the office of the prophet of god, i execute judgment on you, covid19 i execute judgment on you, satan you destroyer you killer you get out you get off this nation i demand judgment on you i demand i demand i demand a vaccination to come immediately yes jimmy did anyone else get the sense the guy in the glasses isnt really buying it . Lets look at him again. I demand a vaccination to come immediately yes jimmy yes maybe we can get some eggs too, lord . Lordy . Of all the dopey things that have been posted online over the past couple of weeks, this might be the dopiest. The instagrammy for most tonedeaf response to the coronavirus goes to billionaire david geffen who over the weekend posted this photo of his super yacht to instagram with the caption sunset last night. Isolated in the grenadines. Avoiding the virus. Im hoping everyone is staying safe. Obviously, that didnt go over great. People went nuts on geffen. So much so he had to delete his instagram account, which is probably for the best. Listen, no one wants best wishes from a super yacht right now. If i was president , thats the first ship id make them turn into a hospital. Id pull that right in the harbor and load it up with cots. Like everyone this weekend, my wife and i watched the tiger king on netflix. Unfortunately, we had to wait to watch until we put the kids to sleep. So i thought it might be helpful to combine netflix with disney plus to create a new version of the tiger king not just for adults but for the whole family. I had my days of coke. I had my days of drinking. I had my days of meth. Youre leading me down a road where people are just going to say you have to join a [ bleep ] cult to be a tiger trainer. Promise you. Been here 35 years. Heard it all forever. It was joes Campaign Manager for about a year and a half. It was the worst experience of my life. It was horrible. Horrible, horrible. Cool cats and kittens. Big cat rescue. Oh, my god. Im never going to financially recover from this. Travis was not gay. Okay . Travis was banging every girl in the park. Mama sure loves you mama made this for you jimmy hakuna matata. Oh, you know what . Weve got joining us from his home our pal guillermo. How are you doing, guillermo . Guillermo im doing great, jimmy. Jimmy guillermo, why are you not wearing your security uniform . You should be in full uniform protecting me virtually at all times. Guillermo oh, im sorry. I forget to go get it dry cleaned. Jimmy do you drop that stuff off yourself . You do your own dry cleaning . Guillermo yeah, i drop it in the dry cleaning. I do it myself. Jimmy all right. Very good. Everythings good at home . Guillermo everything is fine. Yes. Trying to stay safe. Jimmy what . Guillermo everything is fine. Trying to stay safe. Jimmy okay. I thought you said yester stay safe. Guillermo no. I said im fine. Im trying to stay safe. Jimmy i think you know what . When were apart for a while, guillermo forgets how to speak english. But youll work on that, right . Guillermo i will. Ill try my best. Jimmy all right. Well, very good. We have a fun show tonight. Tonight we are going to take guillermo and i are going to look back at an old visit from tom brady, the new tampa bay buccaneer. We have new music from jeff tweedy of wilco and his sons from their bathroom. And well be right back to check in with tracy morgan at home. So stick with us. All right . Im in my house. Guillermo everything is fine. Yester stay safe. Dicky Abcs Jimmy Kimmel live, brought to you by medicare from blue cross and blue shield companies. This is also hals heart. And his relief, knowing hes covered by Blue Cross Blue Shield. This is hals heart. And its beating better than ever. This is what medicare from Blue Cross Blue Shield does for hal. And with easy access to quality healthcare, imagine what we can do for you. This is the benefit of blue. Lets watch a cooking show. Cookie show . Cooking shows. Cookie shows . Play the Great British baking show. [cookie monster] cookie shows introducing at t tv. Watch with easy selfsetup. Shipped directly to you. Can match the power of energizer. Because energizer ultimate lithium is the longest lasting aa battery in the world. [confetti cannon popping] energizer. Backed by science. Matched by no one. Hey allergy muddlers. Achoo do your sneezes turn heads . Try zyrtec. Zyrtec starts working hard at hour one and works twice as hard when you take it again the next day. Zyrtec. Muddle no more. And try zyrtecd for proven relief of your allergies, sinus pressure, and congestion. Uhoh, dead battery at your rustic rental. What if a little birdie told you its switching time . Thanks friend. Switched up to twelve hours of battery life. Switch to chromebook. Pepsi zero sugar all in the cola flavor. None of the sugar. Whaso lets do the rightver chanthing, today. Ow. Lets stay at home. Lets wash up. Lets always keep our distance please, six feet apart at least. Lets look after ourselves, as well as others. It will all be worth it. We can all do our part. So those on the front line can do their part. And when this is over, we will all, continue, to thrive. Jimmy kimmel live from his house jimmy we are back at my house. We have music. The music of wilco with jeff tweedy and his sons from the bathroom on the way. Plus we will look back at an interview with former new England Patriots quarterback tom brady. But first it is time to check in with a very special guest. Every night ive been doing this show from home ive been checking in with some of our famous friends in their homes. And tonight we are joined by one of the funniest people of all. I can only imagine what it must be like to be locked up with him right now. His wife is a very lucky lady, suffice it to say. All the way from new jersey lets say hello to tracy morgan. Hello, tracy. Whats up jimmy thank you for joining us. How are you . Im chilling, yo yo, you said my life is a lovely lady . Can i do profanity . Jimmy yes, go right ahead. Of course. We need some profanity right now. You know what she said to me earlier . Jimmy what . Weve been stuck in this house for two weeks. She said, im going to kill you, mother [ bleep ]. Jimmy what did you do to elicit that reaction, tracy . Was it anything in particular . Im just here. Shes tired of looking at my [ bleep ] tas. Jimmy this is your house. Dont you have to to jimmy i see a trex flashing in the back. It looks like a dave busters. This is your Bowling Alley . Its an arcade game i bought for my daughter. Yo, man, this is the longest ive ever been stuck in my house without wearing an ankle monitor. Jimmy tracy, would you agree with me when i say that the difference between being rich and being very rich is a Bowling Alley in your house . That to me is thats the line. How many lanes do you have . Theres only two lanes in here. Jimmy two lanes. Thats enough. And it looks like your bowling balls look like billiard balls. What pound ball do you throw typically . Let me see this one. Jimmy take a look. This is my personal ball. I had my ball personally made for me. Jimmy nice. How many pounds is it . See . It says tm right there. Tm. Jimmy thats not trademark. Thats pretty much every logo says tm on it. Yeah. And are you good . Whats your average . Do you know . I aint good, man this is all for looks, brother. Jimmy how often do you actually bowl . Black people dont be bowling. Ive from the projects, man. I said when i grow up im going to get me a house with a Bowling Alley in it. Voila jimmy how many people are in your house right now living with you . Your wife of course, whos ready to kill you. Your daughter. My wife and my daughter. My wife and my daughter. Then i got sharks. I got a moray eel. Jimmy what does a moray eel eat . What does a moray eat . Jimmy yeah. Other morays. Jimmy really . Yeah. Theyre cannibals, man. Yo, this is crazy times were living in, man. I never saw so many white people in the unemployment office, man. Jimmy are you worried about the economy right now, about what will happen to the American Economy . Hell, no black people aint never had no [ bleep ] money. Jimmy have you been doing the thing, tracy, where people white people going crazy. You know why white people going crazy during these times . Because they closed down the starbucks, man. Jimmy you think thats whats got everyone on edge . Starbucks. They cant get their lattes, man. Jimmy have you been doing that thing when you go out in the driveway and you hang out with your neighbors and youre six feet away from them or like a social distancing Neighborhood Party . Let m tell you something, man. I cant do the social dimension stuff. I went to hug my mother and she gave me her elbow. Jimmy oh, really . Its not right. Then she proceeded to ask me for money. Jimmy oh, my goodness. Have any of your family members she said that shes social distancing from me, so she want me to venmo it to her. Jimmy have any of your family members suggested that they might move into your big house with you . Yeah. My cousin called me to tell me he lost his job. I said you aint never had a job, damn it makes you want to call up your exes on the phone and say you need some toilet paper . Can i come over to help you out with supplies . Or you can rekindle stuff with your exes. Jimmy yes. You can rekindle as long as you dont touch anybody. Are you getting im hurt because they closed down baseball. They closed down nba. They also closed down strip clubs. Jimmy which are you most upset about . Baseball, nba or strip clubs . Strip clubs, man is that a trick question, jim . I never thought id see the time in my life where i got to go through a drivethru strip club. Jimmy is that what youve been resorting to . A drivethru strip club, huh . I dont really go to strip clubs. I told you i was hard on them strippers. I used to go to the strip club with the sweat pants that rocky wore. With no drawers on. Somebody getting pregnant in the boomboom room. Jimmy i noticed, i dont know if you noticed that nba players, all of them seem to have been tested for the coronavirus whereas its very difficult to get a test unless youve got very severe symptoms. What do you make of that . I dont know about that, but i know yesterday my cousin called me, he said he was with this new girl and he was thinking he thought he was being responsible. He had the mask on and t gloves on. And he ended up getting gonorrhea. Jimmy what . He put everything on and forgot the condom. Jimmy he gets the yeah, the mask is not going to happen. Everybody got the virus and i get gonorrhea. Jimmy thats the thing about gonorrhea. It doesnt care about the coronavirus. She gave him a severe case of crabs. Jimmy tracy, you may know this, but each night that weve been doing these interviews i have been making a donation to the charity of our guests choice. And you are the guest tonight. So you get to choose the charity. What charity did you choose as our donee tonight . Im going to choose stand up for cancer because i know were in some hard times with this virus and i really want to keep the focus on cancer too because people are still dying because of cancer. And ive had a lot of people in my family including my exwife pass away from it. So i really want to bring awareness to that. Jimmy i think thats so please if youre out there, dig down deep. Dont be cheap. Remember, when you donate to these causes you save a life. And this is in my first wifes name, in her honor. So please. Dig down deep. I know im funny but im dead serious about this. Jimmy go to standuptocancer. Org to make that donation. I think thats an excellent choice, tracy. Before we go i do want to mention that the last o. G. Is coming back for a new season to tbs starting april 7th. And also spoony love, your character returns for a new season of crank yankers on comedy central. Spoony jimmy tracy, before we go would you mind bowling . Wed love to see your form. Would you mind throwing a ball for us . Ive got you. Jimmy all right. Lets see. Here he goes. Tracy morgan. He has a Bowling Alley, so why not use it . All right. Hes selected the orange striped ball. And here we go. Tracy is right down the center. Ooh well done. Tracy with the 9. Tracy morgan, everybody. Thank you, tracy. We have a lot more in store tonight. A mixture of old and new including my interview with new tampa bay buccaneer tom brady, jeff tweedy of wilco and his sons with music from the bathroom at his house. And when we come back, guillermo, tracy and i visit the bronx zoo. Jimmy kimmel live from his house way more than you think. Check out this game. Yes. Galaxy 5g means you will beat your friends what if i want to show my friend this little guy . Calling the whole gang is even better with galaxy 5g. Wait a minute, are you bored . Obviously imagine a future where the best seats in the house are in your hand. With galaxy 5g yelling its like being there. Without being there. When they bundle home and auto with progressive. Wow, thats. And now the progressive commercial halftime show, featuring smash mouth. Hey now, youre an all star get your game on, go play thank you goodnight [ cheers and applause ] now enjoy the second half of the commercial even renters can bundle and save where did that come from . The kitchen. It was halftime. Where did that come from . This is gonna be americas favorite breakfast. They just dont know it yet. ding these are a few of my favorite things. You order a breakfast sandwich and thats when wendys makes it. Not weeks. Or months ago. Try your new favorite. Order by 10 and well even deliver it. Jimmy welcome back to Jimmy Kimmel Live from his house. I am jimmy kimmel. And i am in my house. I hope you are too. Not in my house. I hope youre in your house. Do not come to my house. Anyway, we just checked in with tracy morgan. Ive had many wonderful moments with tracy both on camera and off. I cant show you the off. But this happened back in 2015 on our annual trip to new york. Tracy had just come into a large sum of money and made a very interesting purchase. Were going to the zoo, zoo, zoo how about you, you, you you can come too, too, too were going to the zoo, zoo, zoo thats how it happens. If you want to slow climb down in america, you need to get that free Cheese Program up and running. Jimmy well, hello there. Hey, jimbo guillermo. Whats up, baby . Jimmy how are you doing . You finally made it. I just bought the zoo. Jimmy you bought the zoo . The whole thing. With all the animals, everything. Everything came with it. I bought everything except for that one rock right there. But were going to get that done. Hey, craig what youre saying to me is unnecessary. Jimmy which one is craig . Right there. The big one. Stretching his neck out there. I just came back. All they had is big mac meals. Guillermo what do they eat . They like big mac meals and some of them like white castle. This one is from the west coast so he likes fatburgers. Jimmy i had no idea. Let me take you. Jimmy i would love to see it. You bought the zoo. Oh, yeah. Guillermo with all the animals . Yeah. Jimmy thats great. A few human beings too came with it. Were going to the zoo this is congo. Let me show you my gorillas. Jimmy these ar rias my gorillas. Jimmy wow. Lets go. Jimmy whats that smell . Look at this. Guillermo that one over there. Big muscles. Look. Oh, my god. Hes coming here, tracy. Jimmy wow. Hey, derek. Can i get my money . Jimmy garrett . Derek. They call him big d. Jimmy look at this. Hes right here. Guillermo wow. Jimmy why does he have his back to us like that . Hes trying to show dominance. Jimmy i see. His wallet. He want to show me i got your money right here. He always do that to me. I got your money right here. Jimmy this is unbelievable. Weve got sort of like a grudge going on because one of his girlfriends liked me. Jimmy is that right . Yeah. Brenda. Shes sitting way back there. Jimmy oh, shes beautiful. Hi, brenda. Hi, baby. Jimmy this little baby now, is that she was on maury povich with me. Jimmy really . She said that babys mine. Jimmy this is one of the greatest things ive ever seen. Guillermo me too. Jimmy gorillas so close like this. Guillermo it has a big belly like mine. Thats because you eat a lot of lasagna. Jimmy thats what they feed the gorillas . Thats what he likes to eat. You cook his lasagna, youve got to put six different cheeses in it. Guillermo how many . Six different. Jimmy thats one of the great things about being with the owner of the zoo, guillermo, is you can find out. Guillermo you find out all the information. Jimmy exactly. Im tired of the gorillas. Lets go check out some more stuff. Jimmy bye, gorillas. Nice to meet you. Lets go see the flamingos. Florence nightingales of the bird world. Peaches she get crazy when i come around. Jimmy mike tyson used to have a tiger in his house. Can you imagine having one of these in your house . Thats why i bought the bronx zoo. Because i want one in my house. Jimmy whats the difference between a bison and a buffalo . They dont make bison spicy hot wings. They make buffalo hot wings. Guillermo how many pounds do you think . Easily about 16,000. Jimmy it weighs 16,000 pounds . Yeah. Jimmy it must be very dense, t o. Ivt to gbamy g. E. D jimmy oh, wow. Do you get worried when they fight like that . Hes going to damage the merchandise. I got them off craigslist. I just go on craigslist and get some more lions. Jimmy is that right . Oh, yeah. They have everything. But youve got to be careful who you deal with on craigslist. Jimmy you dont want to get a crazy lion. Because you can get a crazy lion on craigslist. Jimmy wow. Theyre beautiful. Oh, yeah. When i first got them, i had them all custom detailed. Jimmy really . You see the hoofs . Armor all on them. Jimmy wow. This is my giraffes over here. Jimmy you have giraffes and everything. I got more than Michael Jackson. Jimmy you do . How many Michael Jackson got . Guillermo he had two. Jimmy Michael Jackson had two giraffes. Guillermo how many do you have . Jimmy youve got like six. Im making more. Jimmy how do you do that . I put little bottles of wine all around the tree. Play some musi jimmy what music . Marvin gaye. Jimmy marvin gaye . Marvin gaye. They love marvin gaye. Lets get it on. I been really trying baby trying to hold back this feeling for so long you hear that . Jimmy its working. But if you feel like i feel baby come on oh, come on whoo lets get it on okay. They need some privacy. I think we should jimmy yeah, i think youre right. Lets get it on oh baby lets get it on lets love baby jimmy the bronx zoo after dark. Were going to take a break, but when we return a chat with the man whose departure broke bostons heart. Mr. Tom brady. When we come back. Safe drivers save 40 guys guys check it out. Safe drivers save 40 safe drivers save 40 safe drivers save 40 thats safe drivers save 40 . It is, thats safe drivers save 40 . Hes right there. Its him hes here. Hes right here. Hi hi. 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Hiv medicine is one part of it. Prescription dovato is for adults who are starting hiv1 treatment and who arent resistant to either of the medicines dolutegravir or lamivudine. Dovato has 2. Medicines in. 1 pill to help you reach and then stay undetectable. So your hiv can be controlled with fewer medicines. While taking dovato. You can take dovato anytime of day,. With food. Or without. Dont take dovato if youre allergic to any of its. Ingredients or if you take dofetilide. If you have hepatitis b, it can change during treatment with dovato and become harder to treat. Your hepatitis b may get worse or become lifethreatening. If you stop taking dovato. So do not stop dovato. Without talking to your doctor. Serious side effects can occur, including allergic reactions,. Liver problems, and liver failure. Lifethreatening side effects include lactic acid buildup and severe liver problems. If you have a rash and other symptoms of an allergic reaction,. Stop taking dovato and get medical help right away. Tell your doctor if you have kidney or liver problems,. Including hepatitis b or c. One of the ingredients in dovato may harm your. Unborn baby. Your doctor may prescribe a different medicine. Than dovato. Your doctor should do a pregnancy test. Before starting. Dovato. Use effective birth control. While taking dovato. The most common side effects are headache, diarrhea, nausea, trouble sleeping, and tiredness. So much goes into who i am. And hope to be. Ask your doctor if starting hiv treatment with dovato is right for you. For ralphies appointment. Ask your doctor if starting hiv treatment with dovato whos his groomer . Carrie. Full groom for sure what . I just booked ralphies appointment online. That work . Wait you what . Its that easy download the app or book online at petsmart. Com Jimmy Kimmel Live from his house jimmy hey, its jimmy. Welcome back to my home. We have music from jeff tweedy and sons on the way. But first, this is a sorry time for sports fans. You know, march madness would have been the reason no one was working right now had it not been for the coronavirus. And a lot of fans are missing their favorite teams and sports and athletes. And so with that in mind its time to revisit my first ever interview with sixtime super bowl champion tom brady from the year 2019 bb. Thats before buccaneers. An interview that included some offseason target practice with an actor whose name i do not care to mention. Im making this pillow. Are those hearts for me . Theres from both of us. Guillermo. I think i deserve a hug. Youre a great man. Hell yeah, ill give you a hug. Guillermo you are the greatest alltime, tom. It was better than sex, guys. Believe me. It was better than sex. Jimmy thats one of the many interactions with guillermo. At the super bowl. I love guillermo. He has a special place in my heart. You know that. Jimmy yeah. There is some kind of chemistry between you. I think guillermo maybe has chemistry with everybody. Just like tequila in a way. Hes so lovable. Jimmy speaking of chemistry, this is your book. This is what can we learn from this book . You can learn a lot. Jimmy yeah. Its really based on performance and recovery. And i think you know, for me as an athlete thats obviously critical to my career. Jimmy same here. [ laughter ] yeah. Weve discussed this. I think, you know, its amazing. Everyone is look for the same thing. And hopefully that book can provide people a lot of answers. Thats something beyond football that im excited to share with a lot of people. I feel like ive acquired a lot of information over a lot of really intense years of football that people can actually apply in their everyday life. Jimmy do you feel like your arm is as strong as it ever was, your throwing arm . Yeah. Jimmy you do . [ cheers and applause ] lets test it. Because [ cheers and applause ] you could throw the ball guillermo no, no. Jimmy. Jimmy what . Guillermo tom cannot throw a football in here. Jimmy what . Guillermo tom cannot throw a football in here. Jimmy why not . Guillermo he can break the lights. Its too dangerous. He can kill somebody. Jimmy you know, youre actually right. You could break a light and kill somebody. Well, maybe we should do it outside . Guillermo yeah, lets go outside. Jimmy excuse us for a second. Well try it outside. Guillermo, you know what youre doing . Guillermo yeah, i know what im doing. Follow me. Thanks, guys. Jimmy wow. Huh. Lets see. Oh. Do you think you could knock one of these columns down with a football . Absolutely, yeah. Jimmy great. Do it. Guillermo no, no, jimmy. Jimmy what . Guillermo tom cannot knock down this column down. Jimmy why . Guillermo because the whole building can fall and it can kill a lot of people. Jimmy oh. Right. You could knock the whole building down. Gosh. All right. Well, lets see. E,uy guillermo lets follow him. Jimmy hi. Guillermo thanks, jimmy. Jimmy there you go. Can you take us to 223 liberace lane . Thanks. So where are we going . Jimmy youll see. Yeah. Just make a left right here. I think this is going to be a little safer out here. You know . Just hang out for a minute. Would you mind . Should i bring the ball . Jimmy yeah, bring the ball. All right. Okay. . J throw the football through that window . Yeah. Jimmy lets see. Guillermo youve got this, tom. [ laughter ] jimmy very well done. That was impressive. Thanks. Whoa, whoa, whoa what the hell is this . [ applause ] jimmy oh, no. Oh, my gosh. Jimmy. Did you do that . Jimmy do you live here . You know i live here. Jimmy i didnt know. Did you throw that . Jimmy no. He did. He threw it. Im sorry. Jimmy yeah. Oh, my god. Hang on. Hi. Im hey. Its great to meet you, man. Im like your number one fan. Yeah, matt. Matt damon. We bought a zoo. Jimmy yeah, he was in that. Amazing. A favorite of mine. Jimmy sorry about that, though. You threw it . Jimmy my friend tom threw it. We were just seeing how strong his arm is. And it turns out its real strong. It went right through the window of your house. Thats how strong his arm is. Yeah. Thats one of my kids rooms. Jimmy im sure youve got a dust buster or Something Like that. Good to sigh, man. Weve got to get back to the show. We left the audience there. Im sorry, pat. Its fine. Its matt. It c isk can i take a picture with you . Do you mind . Yeah, of course. Absolutely. You dont have to. No, hey, look jimmy its a policy. What is this . This is your phone . Yeah. Jimmy cute. I like animals, man. Jimmy all right. How do you want this . Just regular jimmy just give it like a little one of those . Son of a bitch. Jimmy it slipped out of my hand. Guillermo good shot. What the [ bleep ], jimmy . Jimmy it was an accident. It wasnt an accident. Jimmy oh, you never had an accident you . Never did anything wrong . I didnt say i never did anything wrong. I didnt do something wrong right now. I didnt throw something jimmy this guys crazy. Hes out of control. Can you hang on one second . Im going do this really quickly. Youve got to meet somebody. Hold on. This will just take a sec. Jimmy lets get out of here. Guillermo yeah, lets go. What a loser, right . Say hello to big tom and little tom. Tommy . I sleep in the middle. Its like a body pillow. Its good for your back. Oh, hey. Yeah, its for your back. Hey. [ cheers and applause ] [ bleep ] kimmel. Jimmy fun fact. Matt lost his virginity to that doll that day. Well be right back with a very special performance from the bathroom. Jeff tweedy of wilco and his sons. Jimmy thanks to tracy morgan. Apologies to matt damon again for that whole tom brady misunderstanding even though it was his fault. You can join me back here from home tomorrow with samuel l. Jackson and music from sean paul featuring tove lo. But first, before the great quarantine we had wilco booked on our show to promote their album ode to joy. For obvious reasons we had to cancel. But lead singer jeff tweedy and his sons came one a very special performance from the bathroom at their house. You can watch the tweedy show every night at 10 30 eastern on their stuff in our house instagram account. And now with the song evergreen here are sammy, spencer, and jeff tweedy live from the lavatory. When i get back to wherever i travel ill tell you what ive seen the good and the bad and the hearts and the hassles ill tell you all about where ive been and i wont ever leave again now you might think its a lie when i say im going to write but if i break my pen filling you in now, wouldnt that change your mind evergreen evergreen have you even seen anything evergreen when i get back from wherever i go ill look for you in the shade a marker in the grass and ill tell you at last youre not the reason i went away sometimes i wish you were the one who had left and i had stayed evergreen, evergreen have you even seen anything evergreen rgereen gr thanks, everybody. Thanks, jimmy. As people are out and about, Law Enforcement agencies trying the on figure out pen forcement when it comes to social distancing. In the south bay, leaders are expanding resources for the regions Homeless Population positive with covid19. Three weeks ago, this used to be the epicenter of shopping and now many stores and businesses are closed and boarded up. Not one but two storms for your week, hour by hour timeline is coming up. Riw. Now, your health h, your, safety, this is abc7 news. If we have to go back, and you have been warned you will not get a second warning. Officers are now issues citations to people and businesses found violates Public Health orders. People running and walking and enjoying their friday evening at lake mary do not appear to be social distancing six feet the day, sky 7 captured people playing basketball. Park rangers practicing education enforcement at golden gate park. Later sky 7 captured s