They had to put in the backup quarterback for the final snap. And of course people were very upset about this. Former redskins quarterback Joe Theismann wrote, how do you miss the last snap of a game because youre taking selfies . Thats unprofessional and wrong. Unprofessional and wrong. Both of those things. [ laughter ] the guys 22 years old. He heard it was time for the snap. He probably thought they meant snapchat and he went [ laughter ] elsewhere in washington it was a busy few days for our dear misleader. On friday trump plasd a call to fox friends and talked almost nonstop for 53 minutes straight. He didnt even pause for a chicken leg. He just went on and on. [ laughter ] he had a nice long chat with his friends. And then later in the day smoked a peace pipe with perhaps his fiercest republican opponent. We got almost 6 million kids addicted to nicotine. And theyre getting addicted to nicotine because of flavors. Putting out cotton candy flavor and what is it, unicorn poop flavor. This is kid product. That we have to put the kids first. Jimmy that was ranch dressing flavor. He couldnt resist. Ait has been a tumultuous month but the president tried hard to change the focus today by welcoming conan the dog, who took part in the raid that killed the leader of isis. This is conan. Right now probably the worlds most famous dog. I dont think i have to use the word probably. And conan is a incredible its an incredible story. I learned a lot about this particular type of dog. And its its trained that if you open your mouth you will be attacked. [ laughter ] jimmy all of a sudden hes the khaleesi with his attack dog conan. [ laughter ] although its funny trump didnt touch conan during the visit he just kept his arms at his sides. But the Vice President mike pence is giving him a friendly pet. The whole thing. It was nice to see trumps dogs playing together. It really was. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] the president gave conan the dog a plaque, which im sure he will treasure, and presented cone wynn a medal. You know what kind of medal the president gives a dog . The medal of fleadom. [ laughter ] [ rimshot ] thank you. Thanks, everybody. I never even graduated college. So today trump hosted a dog and tomorrow hell preside over the annual pardoning of the turkeys. Trump will pardon two turkeys tomorrow. Their names are bread and butter. Bread and butter arrived in washington, d. C. Yesterday. Theyre staying at a hotel. The Willard Hotel near the white house. When the president finds out they didnt stay at the trump hotel he might not give them the pardons. We might be about to see a couple of turkeys get sent to guantanamo bay. But there they are on the bed. Is there any sadder person than the maid who has to clean the room after turkeys sleep over . [ laughter ] their big day is tomorrow. And then the next turkey to get pardoned will probably be Rudy Giuliani, the president s lawyer. [ laughter ] [ applause ] who after a brief period in hiding is back out there talking to fox news and continuing with these vague threats of insurance in the event that hes betrayed by his orange friend. All of these comments, which are totally insulting, i mean, ive seen things written like hes going to throw me under the bus. When they say that i say he isnt but i have insurance. Jimmy thats not the first time hes said that, by the way, that he has insurance against the president. Of course thats got people going online. Then giuliani had to tweet to clarify that he was kidding. He wrote, truth alert. Never good when you have to alert people youre about to tell the truth. But the statement i made several times of having an insurance policy if thrown under bus is sarcastic and relates to the files in my safe about the biden familys fourdecade monday tiges of his office. If i disappear it will appear immediately along with my rico chart. Thats a mafia reference because of course it is. And the message from Rudy Giuliani is please do not kill me because if you do my ghost will embarrass you i guess . I dont know. [ laughter ] all i know is this is our president s lawyer. This is also not a good weekend for one of team trumps most devoted disciples, congressman devin nunes, who you know, watching these impeachment hearings i keep wondering why this guy, who clearly knows hes on the wrong side, would defend the president so fiercely. It now appears that devin nunes, whos the ranking republican on the house intelligence committee, which is investigating whether trump tried to dig up dirt on joe bide nen ukraine, may have flown on the taxpayers dime last year to dig up dirt on joe biden in ukraine. I dont even think the word hypocrisy covers it anymore. This is the hipocalypse were living through. Lfr the lawyer for one of his goons, lev parnas, said his client can testify that nunes met with a former ukrainian prosecutor named Viktor Shokin to try to get something on biden which is pretty much what the president was trying to do. This must be a touchy subject because yesterday devin nunes wouldnt even answer questions about it on fox news. Were you in vienna with shokin . Yeah, so look, maria, i really want to answer all of these questions. And i promise you i absolutely will come back on the show and answer these questions. I cant compete by trying to trying to debate this out with the public media when 90 of the media are totally corrupt. Jimmy so the answer, in other words, is yes, he did. Yeah. [ laughter ] nunes is now threatening to sue cnn and the daily beast for reporting on this. What a snowflake. What an oily little snowflake he is. And just to put a cherry on top, you know the big Conspiracy Theory nunes is pushing that the democrats used a Company Called crowdstrike to hide a server with hillarys emails . Guess who the Republican Congressional Campaign committee currently employs to handle their cybersecurity. You dont have to guess because its crowdstrike. Thats right. We dont need the show succession on hbo. This thing is succession, the sopranos, breaking bad, and borat all rolled into one. [ laughter ] and with all this happening, with all the plot twists, all the interesting new characters are being introduced, yesterday we got a visit from an old favorite. Former White House Press secretary sarah huckabeyonce uncorked what might be her most brazen lie yet. Idea that he can only take in one or two bullets is absurd. Ive watched him consume massive amounts of information, process it quickly, make a decision they go on about he doesnt read briefings and whatever. How does he he reads more than anybody i know. [ laughter ] jimmy you must know some really dumb people, then. [ laughter ] she doesnt know that flipping through a menu from the Cheesecake Factory doesnt count as reeding, right . She doesnt even work for him anymore. Now shes just lying for free. Donald trump doesnt read. And it has nothing to do with being president or being too busy. You remember years ago when he was asked about his favorite authors . Who are your favorite authors . Well, i have a number of favorite authors. I think tom wolfe is excellent. Did you read vanity of the bonfires . I did not. Its a phenomenal book. What book are you reading now . Bonfire of the vanities. Im reading my own book again because i think its so fantastic. Whats the best book youve read beside art of the deal . I really like tom wolfes last book. And i think hes a great author. Hes done a beautiful job. Which book . His current book. His current book thats just out. Bonfire of the vanities. Yes. The man has done a very, very good job. I really cant hear with this earphone, by the way. Jimmy right, right. Now, if youll excuse me, im late for my imaginary book club. [ laughter ] meanwhile, another democrat, former new york mayor michael bloomberg, has officially launched a president ial campaign. Bloomberg is spending more than 30 million on tv ads, which is a small part of his 53 billion fortune. Michael bloomberg believes that the best person to beat a fake billionaire from new york is a real billionaire from new york. And this is from his website. Hes even got a website. A new choice for democrats. Just what the democrats need. Another choice. [ laughter ] democrats need another choice like starbucks needs another location. [ laughter ] but you know theyre serious because bloomberg, they already have tote bags with mike on them for 22. 40. All the items on his website have weird prices. I like mike onesie for 22. 25. A hoodie for 50. 95. A yard sign for 9. 05. He priced these like hes a contestant on the price is right or something. [ laughter ] and even though hes getting into the game late dont underestimate mike moomberg. This guy was a popular mayor and hes gotties pla in spades. Pete wants to know whats my favorite pizza. Thin crust, very well done, even burnt, with pepperoni on it. Isnt even close. Jimmy i think we might need to take instagram away from old people. [ laughter ] so mike bloomberg, he eats pepperoni, hes not kosher at all. Its got to get somebodys vote. Weve got a great show for you tonight. From the new movie a Beautiful Day in the neighborhood, tom hanks is here with us. [ cheers and applause ] it doesnt get any better than that. And tom is the best. He plays mr. Rogers in a movie every decent american wants to see. And whenever theres a movie Everyone Wants to see we run it by our inhouse movie critic yehya. No one loves the stars more than yehya and here he is again tonight talking about the movie a Beautiful Day in the neighborhood. Action hi, its me yehya. I talk about the movie mr. Roger. Its a Beautiful Day in this neighborhood a Beautiful Day for a neighbor i think mr. Roger hes like tv its called very old. Its called simpson street. Simpson street for the kids, you know all the the big one is named big duck. You know. The red one is named brad. And the blue one, cookie man. Okay. Mr. Roger, hes tom hanks. He do that movie. Hes big star and you do a lot a lot of movie with steven skeelbirg. He live in airport. He shave his hair sit in the chair too. Also tv show buddy for the boob. And they dot movie in the seattle and he cannot sleep. Hes in the movie also with the dog love him a lot. Hes in the boif bad with the young guy. He play the shoes with his bad. And the piano on the floor. Boom. Mr. Roger, he sound is Beautiful Day for the neighborhood, its Beautiful Day for the neighborhood, its Beautiful Day for my all my neighbor around the city, around the area. Around the freeway around the ground too, the people die its beautiful. Please wont you be my neighbor go see the movie mr. Roger. Its good movie good luck what i say . Thats it or more . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you, yehya. All right. Tonight on the show we have music from Brittany Howard. Jameela jamil is here. Well be right back with tom hanks dicky Abcs Jimmy Kimmel live, brought to you by sprint. , i turned my iphone 6s into the new iphone 11. Its true, trade in an iphone 6s or newer in any condition and youll get the powerful new iphone 11 for just 0 a month when you switch to sprint. Yeah, an iphone 6s for an iphone 11. Or trade in your beloved iphone 7, trusty iphone 8, amazing iphone x. Take them all to 11. See, i told you, magic. Repeat after me. Hi am grateful. Audience i am grateful. I am getting all the gifts this holiday. This wednesday through friday, everythings fifty percent off plus, this thursday and friday only, get one dollar cozy socks you get all the gifts only, at old navy. Cheddar, jalapeno, and sour cream and onion. The spicy nacho stack. I wish i could stack pringles, but i dont have hands. Or a mouth to. Cool, play funkytown. funkytown playing theres a pringles stack for everyone. Sort of. Save on hundreds of black friday doorbusters this thursday through saturday only. Doors open 5pm, thursday. Dont miss the biggest doorbusters of the season. Black friday, only at target. makeawish child i got this for you. vo when you share the love, you change lives. Over twentytwo hundred wishes granted. More than fifty seven thousand pets supported. Over one hundred National Parks protected. Over two million meals provided. Through the subaru share the love event, subaru will have proudly donated over one hundred seventy Million Dollars to national and Hometown Charities over twelve years. Erttda thank you. grandfather thank you. senior thank you. makeawish child thank you. Jimmy welcome back to the show. Tonight from the good place and the misery index, Jameela Jamil is here. And then later she is a grammy nominee. You know her from the band alabama shakes. Her solo album is called jaime. Brittany howard from the mercedesbenz outdoor stage. Shes great. Tomorrow night laura dern and andrew yang will be with us and well have music from bishop briggs. Our first guest tonight a living breathing american treasure who dons a sweater and a pair of comfortable shoes to play another american treasure. A Beautiful Day in the neighborhood is in theaters now. Please welcome tom hanks. [ cheers and applause ] thank you very much. I like your beard. It looks good. Thank you. This is the you might still be in the phase of its really itchy. And its kind of like bugs you. Is this a voluntary length of your beard . I keep it trimmed back, yeah. I did this for a gig. It gets to a point where there is its just a pain in the ass but then it reaches this Critical Mass and its okay. One of the things that happens you find it itches so much, you could be at a fancy dinner Party Without even knowing it, your hand has found the salad fork and starts going like this. [ laughter ] jimmy not really, no. No, no, ive done it a million times. And im sitting there going like, this thats interesting, mr. President. And my wife will say you are sticking a fork into your beard. I say i am not. Oh, my god and put it down. But you cant it just gets you. But then it goes ah. And now youre either youre either ulysses s. Grant or youre brewing craft beer. [ laughter ] jimmy this is a good time to have a nice white beard. Christmas time. A little kringley. Im going to cut it. This is for a gig i have, one day of shooting i have to dpop and then by fiat and family vote it has to come off. Jimmy your family doesnt like it . Rita doesnt care for . Rita divides our marriage into eras of beard or no beard. Dont even mention castaway. [ laughter ] even just like the sully mustache, she goes, ew. Jimmy the sully mustache was a little weird, but i think the beard works very well. Okay. Thank you. I am going to take it down. When i grow a beard i will try to do various looks and just get a picture of it. Like i want to do the guy just out of prison. You know, just do a thing like that. Ill do that. Then ill do the elvis impersonator. That kind of thing. But i want to get a burt reynolds, you know, bow mustache, the one that comes down. Get a picture of that. Jimmy just be careful because the final stage of that, of course, is a little hitler mustache. [ laughter ] i would call that the charlie chaplin, you idiot. Im not going to say, you nknow [ applause ]. Ill put a little top hat on. Have you seen the little mustache . You are such a jaded talk show host. Jimmy glass half empty. I get it. Jimmy i dont know if you know this. Where were you shooting this movie . Oh, we were in new mexico. Vast stretches of new mexico. Jimmy out in the field, the desert. So far away there was no cell phone service. You had to go climb a thing called lone butte to get two bars. Jimmy really . Yeah. Climb lone butte, you see some producer up there going like this. Looks like rain, were going to have to shoot on saturday. But we were out on these theres a vast movie history to new mexico. Jimmy to that area. Ames ranch and bonanza creek. All these places where really famous movies have jimmy you love that stuff, right . Okay. So we were shooting a scene and all the grips. You know, all the crew knows. And they will say you know, this is the ranch where bruce dern killed john wayne in the cowboys. And just like that it becomes like holy grail time. Jimmy that was a big thing, right . Wasnt it bad for bruce derns career . He killed john wayne. I couldnt get a job for like five years after i killed john wayne. [ laughter ] no, no, im serious, it was a real problem for me. I was working with mare winningham. She and i made turner hooch 8 million years ago. [ applause ] mare was in this movie. And i had to tell mare, you know, mare, you shot here in bonanza creek. She said i did . Yeah, you made a movie with Kevin Costner with wyatt earp that shot right here. I did . I said mare, what is wrong with you . She said, well, actually, none of these buildings were here when we shot that. I said but actually you spent about seven weeks of your life right here shooting that movie. Jimmy well, the des editorial looks the same. It does. And you can change the angle. Just by changing you get a whole new shot. Jimmy so lone butte is where you get the wireless signal. Actually, we asked just lightly, i dont think youve seen this before. But this was on jeopardy last week. Id like to get your reaction. 200, please. In a Beautiful Day in the neighborhood beloved childrens tv show host mr. Rogers is played by this beloved actor. The film opens friday. Thats tom hanks. You are kidding me [ cheers and applause ] you are kidding me. They didnt they didnt even have any wrong bing, Woody Harrelson . No. Jimmy they were stunned. Bing, mahershala ali. No. What was the name of the character . Washed up career choices [ laughter ] bad casting for 1,000, alex. Jimmy i look at it as you inhabited that character so beautifully that even they were absorbed instantaneously. Ill take that. Thank you. I think actually they were blinded by the red sweater. Couldnt make anything out. Jimmy did you do anything weird in the red sweater . [ laughter ] ill tell you first of all, you put on that red sweater and those blue shoes, you might as well be putting on batmans cape and cowl. You feel powerful. Jimmy do you . Yeah, you do. Because we shot this, actually, in pittsburgh at wqed, the channel the television station where they actually made it. And to walk into that studio in a red sweater and blue people actually would look the crew guys would be looking up jimmy you had someone they just came over to look at me like this. Jimmy really . Oh, my god. Jimmy thats weird. Its a sweater just like fred wore. [ laughter ] they were kind of enamored with the power its kind of like theres a number of roles jimmy they should go to a marshalls store. Stay oust old theyt of old because youll never get out of there. If youre in pittsburgh, its kind of like if youre in memphis and youre making a movie about elvis. In pittsburgh if you are making a movie about andy warhol, because hes a favorite son, roberto clemente, Franco Harris jimmy for sure. You have Carte Blanche in the city. Jimmy what about Terry Bradshaw . Would he qualify . I think hell get credit. But at the end of the money theyre not going to say jimmy did they do that to you . I was coming down from the gym in the hotel and i was all sweaty. And a guy got on the elevator with me. And he said oh, mr. Hanks. I said korea, hi, how are you doing . He said, youre shooting the mr. Rogers film here. Yes, yes i am. I am. How is the shooting going, mr. Hanks . I said pretty good. You know, i hope it cuts together. I dont know. I hope it comes out well. Im having a good time. Oh, good. Well, i wish you good luck on the rest of your shooting, mr. Hanks. I said well, thank you very much. And as the door he got out before me. And as the door was closing he turned and he looked at me and he said, we take mr. Rogers very seriously here. [ laughter ] like that. His eyes went like snakelike for a second. And im thinking, i believe i have been threatened in the city of three rivers. Jimmy i think you delivered the goods. When we come back, well see a clip. Tom hanks, a Beautiful Day in the neighborhood. Well have that when we come back. Dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by sams club, where you can skip the checkout line with scan and go. Hey, need a laptop that boots up as fast as 6 seconds when youre running late . Shhhh. [whispering] its switching time. How about a battery that lasts up to 12 hours . [bell rings] order up now were cooking. Or how about one with virus protection built in . Which. Would be helpful. Right. About. Now. Yeah, if you want all that, switch to chromebook. What are you searching a version of myself who doesnt make decisions based on fear . No, what streaming apps are you searching for . Oh. Because you have xfinity flex. It puts your apps in one place, and it comes with your internet. Try it kung fu panda. Ah. You have kids . Nope. Xfinity flex a personalized streaming dashboard thats simple, easy, awesome. Get started with xfinity internet for 29. 99 a month for 12 months and add a flex 4k streaming device on us. Click, call or visit a store today. Do you think living here makes it easier or more difficult to be a celebrity . Celebrity . Mercy. You dont consider yourself famous . Fame is a fourletter word like tape or zoom. Or face. What ultimately matters is what we do with it. And what are you doing with it . We are trying to give children positive ways to deal with their feelings. Jimmy that is tom hanks much like jimmy kimmel. Will lead a studio audience in positive ways about the way theyre feeling. Jimmy the story revolves around mr. Rogers relationship with a writer from esquire. Who begrudgingly wrote a profile of mr. Rogers tom junard at the time was a persona non grata because of his celebrity profile style. He pissed off a lot of people. Jimmy he killed people in these interviews. He would approach it from kind of like hmm, whats the scoop here . And then write it from youre not going to quite believe what this guy or this woman is pulling off. But fred knew that and said no, i want this guy to come and write this story. Jimmy and he wound up really changing his life. Thats a prop from the movie. Let me tell you about they talked about the taking of this photograph for about 14 weeks before we got around to it. Jimmy they did . They were all talking about were going to bring in a special this one guy and he does it really great and heres what it is. Were going to light it here. I said look, guys, i have to put on a sweater and look at the camera. I think thats all i really need to know. So whenever youre ready just say come on over and take the picture. And even then we still have like three passes at it. Jimmy i was surprised by how much nudity there is in the film. That i did not anticipate. [ laughter ] well, he did swim every morning. [ laughter ] about 9 00 a. M. You know, its funny. I talked to joanne, his wife, and i said, did he really swim every day . Oh, every day, tom. Every day. I said i dont think i could get to a pool and swim every day. Oh, he only did it for 20 minutes. 20 minutes . I can swim 20 minutes a day. Jimmy did you take it that seriously, where you were swimming i did a lot of swimming in order to get because he did swim. He was a really good swimmer. Jimmy what else did you do that mr. Rogers did . I will tell you, entering at the beginning of the show, its a Beautiful Day, come through the front door and all, that 27 takes. It took 27 takes to get through the song. Jimmy you have to get that exactly right. Well, it turned out that first of all, theres tricks. His shoes were bigger than his feet were so they came off very easily. Jimmy oh, youre ruining it im sorry. I hate to destroy your childhoods this way. But the sneakers, half the sneakers the sneakers were already half tied. Sew only had to put them on and do the rabbit ear and around. I was tying the whole damn shoe. Had i to put it on. The once across and then the rabbit and that added like easily 3. 2 seconds to it. And more often than not i couldnt quite finish. Jimmy you have to tie the toss of the shoe always late. Jimmy did mrs. Rogers tell you any private information about fred . This is what she said. Oh, fred made me mad more than i ever made him mad. Id come home and say that mechanic doesnt know how to fix the pontiac at all. He didnt know what he was doing. And fred would say, well, you know, he might have been having a bad day. [ laughter ] and joanne, oh, poo on you. I want you to feel sorry for what im going through. I dont want to hear about the mechanic having a bad day. And that was kind of like their relationship. Jimmy thats the greatest. He drank we were doing one Early Morning scene where i was talking on the phone to susan, who plays matts wife. And i said, what did he have for breakfast, joanne . She was actually there when we were shooting there in the house. Did he have coffee . Oh, no, he never drank any coffee or tea. Hed have hot hot pomegranate juice. Jimmy really . Hot pomegranate juice . So i went to mari heller, the boss, our director, and i said any way we can incorporate mott hot pomegranate juice into this scene . And she said, it can be sitting on the counter. And that was it. So i dont know if its in the scene or not. But if you see a scene in my kitchen look for the cup of hot pomegranate juice. Jimmy did they even have pomegranate juice in the 70s . Maybe it was cranberry juice. Jimmy oh, you know what . Mr. Rogers famously never had a urinary tract infection. Well, there you go. [ laughter ] jimmy thats probably why. Also the fact that the raciest he got was a glass of hot cranberry juice might be one of the reasons he talked so slowly. Jimmy maybe so. Because there wasnt any legal addictive stimulants in his diet. Which is why there are so many pauses in your average episode of mr. Rogers neighborhood. Jimmy yeah, youve got toe slow down to play mr. Rogers. I watched like 800 episodes. I watched a lot of hours. I was like 180 hours into it and i realized, oh this is not for us. Its not for grownups. If you know that there are dopes and jerks in this world, then mr. Rogers is not meant for you. Its meant for 2 1 2 or 3yearold kids who honestly are wondering how batteries work and where pencils come from. Jimmy it took you how many episodes to figure that out . 180. [ laughter ] jimmy tom hanks, everybody. Hes a little slow but hes a terrific actor. A Beautiful Day in the neighborhood is in theaters now. Well be right back. Youre so annoying, get off me hey girls, please can you. Cmon here, here. Just watch something there or play a game. Were here . Clyde girls, in the lounge, cmon. Settle down did you guys want me to put a movie on for you . No we got it. Keep busy and dont annoy grandpa whos that . Thats grandma and grandpa. I miss her. Hey girls, just watch something. Well just be in the kitchen. Should we take a picture . Ahh thanks isabel, its too early cmon everybody its for all of you. Ha ha girls. You just tap it. What is this . Nana fell in love. Oh dad look at your hair nana. [deep exhale] ahhh shes right there absolutely brilliant, both of you. Thank you save on hundreds of black friday doorbusters thank you this thursday through saturday only. Doors open 5pm, thursday. Dont miss the biggest doorbusters of the season. Black friday, only at target. Of a lifetime. Its progressive on ice. Everything you love about Car Insurance the discounts. The rate comparisons. And flo in a boat. Insurance adventure awaits at progressive on ice. Tickets not available now or ever. At progressive on ice. Well, awfully cozye old non that couch. cool down you two were not that type of show. Wait can we blur that . Thursday and friday, get one dollar cozy socks. Wednesday through friday everythings fifty percent off. You give dirty laundry a whole new meaning. Am i. Only at old navy. But the most important gift is the one you give to the person who believes in you. All year long. Every best. Gift. Ever. Begins with kay. only tylenol® rapid release gels have laser drilled holes. They release medicine fast, for fast pain relief. Tylenol®. Well, maybe not forever. Doors open 2pm thursday save on jackets, towels, and 50 off disney frozen 2 toys get there by 2pm for the coupon giveaway up to 500 off 500 dollars sale ends saturday jcpenney wholding you back . Excessive underarm sweating up to 500 off 500 dollars qbrexza is the first and only oncedaily prescription cloth towelette approved to treat excessive underarm sweating. Also known as axillary hyperhidrosis. Open one today and see what unfolds. man vo do not use qbrexza if you have certain medical conditions. Qbrexza may cause new or worsening urinary retention, problems with control of your body temperature and blurred vision. The most common side effect reported was dry mouth. Call your Healthcare Provider if you experience side effects. woman vo imagine how life can unfold. Ask a dermatologist how you may reduce excessive underarm sweating with qbrexza. Its time for the wall of America Kimmel quiz. Tonights kimmel quiz question, which one of these people has a mr. Rogers tattoo . Hi. Im ester from chicago and this is my mr. Rogers tattoo. He lives right next to the joker. There goes the neighborhood. Tonights kimmel quiz, brought to you by cisco. May your holidays glow bright and all your dreams take flight. Lease the c 300 sedan for just 399 a month at the mercedesbenz winter event. Hurry in today. I am totally blind. And non24 can make me show up too early. Or too late. Or make me feel like im not really there. Talk to your doctor, and call 8442342424. Hvr dips. You either love it or you really love it. mom oh, so cute fozzie ma mom oh honeybear fozzie hey, im trying some new material. You think i can run one past you . mom oh of course, dear. fozzie good good good. [clears throat] so, why do bears wear fur coats . Because wed look silly in sweaters ahhhh mom wocka wocka. fozzie wocka wocka, ma. fozzie vo portal. From facebook. Jimmy welcome back. Still it come, Brittany Howard. You know our next guest from the good place, which is a good place, but her other show with the impractical jokers is dedicated to evil. Watch the misery index tuesday nights on tbs. Please say hello to Jameela Jamil. [ cheers and applause ] how are you . I like this outfit. Im very nervous. Jimmy are you really . Ive loved you for such a long time. Jimmy oh, thats nice. Thank you. I appreciate that. Somebody loves me finally. [ laughter ] this is a dream come true. Jimmy did you get to meet tom hanks . Thats better than for agreed. [ laughter ] this is also very nice. Jimmy well, its a pleasure to have you here. Yeah. He was my first ever crush. Jimmy tom hanks . Really . Yeah. Jimmy what movie was it from . Forrest gump. [ laughter ] jimmy really . Thats the one . [ laughter ] im not feeling quite as flattered anymore. Is it the crewcut that you enjoy . Its all of it. I love a fast runner. [ laughter ] jimmy did i ever see mr. Rogers neighborhood . No. We dont have kind programming in england. Jimmy none at all . No. We dont teach about, you know, loving thy neighbor. We teach you to fear and hate thy neighbor. Jimmy is that true . Yeah. If a stranger were to talk to you in the street, youd have to hold your handbag closer to you and look at them suspiciously. No, were terrible, cold, dead people. [ laughter ] you think were all like mary poppins but were not. Were trash. Jimmy you think in general theres an unfriendliness that courses through society there . Yeah. Jimmy wow. I never really got that sense. Stick up the bum. [ laughter ] jimmy i guess so. Not literally. Jimmy by the way, i was thinking about tom hanks and i was thinking about one of your costars on the good place, ted danson, who to me is like the tom hanks of television. You know, and of course tom did some television and teds done some movies. But hes like got that same we all love him quality. Have you found that from him . I hate him. [ laughter ] jimmy you dont like him . No, i love him. Hes so wonderful. He taught me everything i know. So if anybody ever thought i was bad on the good place, its teds fault, not mine. Jimmy what did ted teach you . He taught me how to act. But mostly he was just good at teaching me how to stay alive. I kept on getting a fever just from filming, which shows how pathetic i was. A doctor once told me im clinically weak. [ laughter ] jimmy really . It isnt a condition. It was just sad. But ted notice theyd was fatigued and he was running rings around me. And hes 40 years older than me, which he would hate me saying on television. But i started to jog because of him and the first time i tried i almost died. Jimmy from jogging . Yeah. I went jog. I went about 6 00 p. M. In the evening. I went out dressed like a ninja, head to toe in black because l. A. Doesnt feel very safe on the street. Im joking. Im running down a big road called la cienega. Theres a traffic stop i guess you call it in the middle. What do you call it . A traffic island . Jimmy yeah. Theres three lanes of traffic on either side. Jimmy oh, yeah. I stopped because of the traffic. Im listening to beyonce very loud. And i guess because im very tall i have to disturbed a branch on the tree. What i dont know is and i find this out as kind of a cloud of black descends upon me. Theres a beehive on that tree. Jimmy wow. I have very much so pissed off the beehive that are now all over me. So i just start running into traffic. That is my natural instinct, just to run into six lanes of traffic. I run in, a car hits me jimmy no yeah. I get knocked over by a car. I just started filming the good place by the way. But the car is thankfully slowing down because it sees a woman covered in a perm of bees. So they hit me while slowing down. I go down. The bees come down on me. I get back up. I start running again. The bees continue to chase me for another five minutes till finally i turn a corner, i run down a street called 3rd, which is a very big street. There is a taco club i guess. Its a club slash taco bar. There are people standing outside smoking. And i think to myself, and this is like its terrible when youre in a moment of emergency to realize what an awful person you are. But i looked at those people smoking and i was like, you already dont care about your life. [ laughter [ laughter ] so im going to run at you with these bees. Im on a show. [ laughter ] jimmy you led the bees to them . I lead the bees to all of these smoking people. And then i get down on the ground and i army crawl into the juice bar next door and watch everyone get stung. There are handbags flying, cigarettes flying. Its mayhem. And i was fine. Jimmy really . You had no stings . Not one. [ applause ] jimmy this is why you can never exercise. Its so dangerous. So dangerous. Jimmy and ted danson is at fault for this. He tried to kill me. Jimmy this would be a perfect scenario for your television show, wouldnt it . Yes. Jimmy its only a shame this wasnt captured on videotape. The misery index. Explain the idea of this show. So the misery index is a game show. Its on tbs. Its with the impractical jokers. And we have to basically rank the most miserable events that can happen to people. Its kind of selfperpetuated stupidity. Were not punching down. Its not cruel. Its just based on human error. And theres a scale of 1 to 100. And were going to give you different scenario thats are hideous and you have to figure out where on the scale of 1 to 100 those things go for the chance to win 30,000. Jimmy as determined by whom . As determined by, well, psychologists. The best psychologists in the world. They work out the scale. And then you try and win money based on other peoples our slogan is how to make a fortune from other peoples misfortune. Jimmy right. And whats the worst thing youve seen on the show so far . There was a woman who has explosive diarrhea whenever she orgasms. Jimmy yeah, thats bad. Yeah. [ laughter ] do you want me to give you one you can use on the show . Jimmy is that 100 . No. It was only like 50. Jimmy so weve yet to hit the top then. Theres still room for in my opinion, though the thing thats good about the show is fa tha its divisive. A lot of people were screaming at each other and arguing in the audience because its all subjective and its an amazing way to find out who in your life is a sociopath. [ laughter ] most likely to murder you in your sleep. Jimmy so its useful as well. Yeah. Jimmy well, congratulations on that show. The show is called the misery index. Tuesday nights 10 30 on tbs. Jameela jamil, everybody. Thank you, jameela. Well be right back with Brittany Howard. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is presented by the 2019 aclass. Mercedesbenz, best or nothing. At 20 to 60 off Department Store prices. Most stores are open thanksgiving, 6pm to midnight. Reopening friday at 7am. With extended hours saturday and sunday. Yes for less. Your sister stopped borrowing your sweaters . Yeah thats yes for less. Stop stealing mine. Never. Holiday gifts everyones sure to love at 20 to 60 percent off Department Store prices. At ross. Yes for less. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Jimmy i want to thank tom hanks and Jameela Jamil. Apologies to matt damon. We ran out of time for him. In the in t nightline is next. But first, this is her album jaime. Here with the song history repeats, Brittany Howard [ cheers and applause ] whats up, everybody, tonight . How are you doing . Everybody in this parking lot. Everybody in tv land. Whats up . My names Brittany Howard. Im going to talk to you a little bit about something right here. On the drums i got nate. On the bass i got zack. Ght here williams. My cousin paul on the keys. Shanai honey johnson. And coreita. Alex shakur. Weve got to talk to you one time about something i dont want to do no more. I dont. Ill tell you. I just dont want to be back in this place again i mean i done cried a little tried a little failed a little i dont wanna do it again do you feel me yes, maam do you feel me yes, maam do you feel me yes, maam do you feel me i came and went i washed my hands with itagain dont push me push me push me push me hold me in i dont wanna go back here again stt oursels come on everybody one more time again history repeats and we defeat ourselves come on everybody one more time again history repeats and we defeat ourselves come on everybody one more time again history repeats and we defeat ourselves come on everybody one more time again history repeats and we defeat ourselves come on everybody one more time again history repeats and we defeat ourselves eah,h whoo keep going yeah, yeah stop that mess put your hands in the air, everybody. Im happy to be here performing tonight. Ill tell you what i want to do. What you want to do . I want to keep moving forward. I dont want to go back. To where weve already been. Higher. You feel me shanai . Yes, maam. You feel me, coreita . Uhhuh. You feel me, paul . Naenae. You know what i want to do . I want to i want to do it again, nate. History repeats and we defeat ourselves come on everybody one more time again history repeats and we defeat ourselves come on everybody do it one more time again, time again, time again yeah, yeah, yeah come on everybody one more time again history repeats and we defeat ourselves ive got to all right, ladies and gentlemen. Weve got to go. [ cheers and applause ] this is nightline. Tonight, dark waters. Isnt that lovely . Toxic chemicals in a towns water. A Major Corporation accused of making people sick. Actor mark ruffalo now bringing this reallife story to the silver screen. Thats chemicals, im telling you. Putting a spotlight on the health and environmental risks of socalled forever chemicals. Now i know what products and what products dont have it, and im still learning. Plus emrata. Emily ratajkowski. The supermodel turning heads, raising eyebrows, and redefining what it means to be a feminist. Choosing to represent your body h