[ laughter ] our dance card this time around includes the former bachelorette hannah b. , former l. A. Laker lamar odom, former nfl star ray lewis. A lot of formers. Perhaps most notably former White House PressSecretary Sean Spicer is dancing this year. He will be paired up with lindsay arnold. Sometimes i feel bad for the dance partners on the show because you know they grow up working and practicing, working hard, dreaming of one day becoming a professional dancer, and then they wind up having to do it with Donald Trumps dopey press secretary. [ laughter ] you think theres going to be one of their categories like they always have an nfl player, they always have an olympic athlete, a grown justin chiup. Now maybe theyll always have a sad former member of the trump administration. [ laughter ] if i was in charge of the show i would have paired sean spicer up with stormy daniels. That to me was a big miss. We get to see the president s three favorite boobs on one show together. [ laughter ] [ rimshot ] thank you. Its not the dancing, its the gambling. Over the past 80 or so years the shows been on ive won many thousands of dollars betting on it. For real every season before fox has been trotted i predict which dancer i believe has what it takes to bring the mirrorball trophy home. And i bet on it. And im good at it. Im even better at this than i am at sex. And im really [ laughter ] one of the top guys. Earlier this afternoon at the stroke of lunch i wrote my pick on a piece of paper, which i folded carefully and placed inside a tiny briefcase. That briefcase was then placed inside guillermos mouth, where it has been kept safe for quite some time. How long has that briefcase been in your mouth, guillermo . [ mumbling ]. Jimmy and how was your weekend . Did you do anything fun . No. Okay. Its time for the moment of truth. Drum roll, please. This is very suspenseful. It could be anybody. Hows that briefcase holding up in your mouth . Guillermo mm. Jimmy okay. In a moment i will announce the winner of season 294. And that winner will be guillermo . Guillermo oh. James van der beek. Jimmy james van der beek is the man to van der beat. [ applause ] and james, i dont want to put any extra pressure on you but if you dont win this for me you are going back up Dawsons Creek without a paddle. And thats a promise. [ laughter ] meanwhile, other exciting abc network news the former star of desperate housewives Felicity Huffman has been sentenced to prison time for her role in the now infamous College Admissions scandal. She was sentenced to two weeks but with Good Behavior shes expected to serve 17 minutes and win a peoples choice award. I dont know. [ laughter ] back in may Felicity Huffman admitted to paying 15,000 to boost her daughters s. A. T. Scores. Her lawyer requested that she be allowed to serve out her sentence at a low security correctional facility outside san francisco, which is interesting because if there was anyone who shouldnt be allowed to pick which institution they get into it is a person who did this crime. [ laughter ] [ applause ] but she did. And she has to pay she has to do 250 hours of Community Service and pay a 30,000 fine. Which is a lot 30,000, she could get two kids into college. You know . [ laughter ] so let this be a warning. If you ever dare try to subvert the admissions process at our nations most respected learning institutions, be prepared to spend two weeks at what is essentially a day spa. [ laughter ] i would actually i would love to go to jail for 14 days. I really would. I could catch up on so much stuff. [ laughter ] meanwhile, down in florida this is video from our abc affiliate in miami. Local 10 news captured what might be the least Traumatic Police chase of all time. The suspected car thief leading police on a chase in a golf cart. Really . Yeah. The suspect stole that cart from two men who were about to tee off on the 7th hole at a private golf course in martin county. He only got as far as the green of that hole before surrendering to police. Heres more video that includes a shot of the driver of the cart. Thank you. Jimmy and you can see [ laughter ] o. J. , are you there . Just let me get to my house. Okay, well do that. Ill give you my whole body. Just throw the gun out the window. Jimmy hes still got it. In england authorities are on the lookout for a solid gold toilet thats said to be worth about a million pounds, which in u. S. Dollars is i dont know its a lot. Thats the toilet that is missing. Its made from 18 karat gold. It was stolen from blenham palace, which where Winston Churchill was born. The suspect is said to be good at plumbing and loves gold. [ laughter ] thats about right there. We dont need to look any further. [ applause ] i tell you what. A solid gold toilet would be a pretty fine Christmas Gift for donald trump. The president had his little thumbs going this weekend. Trump has been ranting and raving on twitter about a drone attack on a Saudi Arabian oil facility that is suspected to be the work of iran. So yesterday as he was ruminating on this he tweeted this. Plenty of oil. [ laughter ] which is either about the middle east or his sons hair. We dont know. [ laughter ] he also lashed out at reports that said hed be willing to meet with the iranians without preconditions and tweeted the fake news is saying that i am willing to meet with iran no conditions. That is an incorrect statement as usual. And that one is a head scratcher. Where would the fake news get an idea like that . Now, the president has made clear. He is happy to take a meet with no preconditions. The president s made it very clear hes prepared to meet with no preconditions. Do you have preconditions for that meeting . No preconditions, no. They want to meet ill meet. No preconditions. If they want to meet ill meet. No preconditions . Not as far as im concerned. No preconditions. Preconditioner by matrix biolage. For that fantastic orange glow. Jimmy he has to make money out of everything. [ applause ] thats one mess were in. On the other side of the world the president s buddy kim jong un reportedly sent him a letter last month inviting him to north korea. Or as it will soon be called, faralago. [ laughter ] what is it with these guys with these summits that lead to nothing . Trump visits kim jong un so much he might as well start leaving a toothbrush at his house. Two of trumps opponents joe biden and Bernie Sanders have announced that they are they would like to be president and theyre planning to release their medical histories before the democratic primaries, which is not a surprise because of course theyre going to release their medical histories. Have you ever met a man in his 70s who didnt want to tell you in great detail about his medical history . [ laughter ] my dad has someone cornered and is doing it right now. [ laughter ] joe biden and Bernie Sanders, i was thinking about this. Theyre the old guys who have the fully nude conversations in the locker room. With the leg up on the thing, you know . [ laughter ] bernie had to cancel three Campaign Events on saturday because he had a hoarse voice. Which is confusing because thats kind of the hoarse voice is kind of his trademark. This is like adele canceling a concert because shes sad. [ laughter ] sanders is 78. And biden is 76. These are old men. And in the end its probably going to come down to which candidate voters would rather sit down and have an ensure with. [ laughter ] hey, congratulations are in order for a group of scientists at m. I. T. Who developed was believed to be the blackest color ever. This is it. Thats black. They unveiled it at an Art Exhibition in new york. It captures over 99. 9 of light. Which means its the blackest color ever. And they know its the blackest color ever. Because when they were transporting it to the art show it was pulled over 14 times. [ laughter ] this sort of thing, its a major accomplishment in the pigment community i guess. I think we all remember 60 years ago the day when researchers in indiana famously created the whitest white of all time. [ laughter ] dont stare directly at it. You will go blind. He is a fascinating individual. Mike pence was out at the House Republicans annual retreat in baltimore this weekend. Where he weighed in on the debate the democrats had. Specifically the part where joe bide erin referred to himself as Vice President. In my i heard my predecessor said he with was answering a question about his years in the white house and he said im the Vice President of the United States. So let me be clear. I am the Vice President of the United States of america. [ laughter ] jimmy now, if youll excuse me, the president s ass isnt going to kiss itself. I have to go. [ laughter ] pence even managed to russell up an animal story, a humorous tale about his encounter with a triple crownwinning horse. So we went over to this very fancy kentucky farm. Everything really manicured, really nice. And they walked out this huge horse. American pharaoh. And there were a bunch of cameras, a bunch of media around. Im not a horse guy. I said yeah, let me hold them. Andy and i were standing there posing for all the cameras. And American Pharoah bet me so hard on the arm i almost collapsed. I just gritted my teeth and smiled because you know what . In our line of work youre going to get bit sometimes but you keep fighting forward. And we did jimmy you know, that was almost a cute story. It was almost like human. And then it turned. You know, spiderman got bit by a spider. Now he can climb the wall. I wonder if mike pence now has the powers of a horse. All he eats now is hay and his assistant follows him with a shovel. [ laughter ] you know, were two weeks into the nfl season. But the award for most valuable Postgame Press conference i think might already be locked up for the year. It goes to Carolina Panthers quarterback cam newton, who after the game gave himself a dressing down and a dressing up. You know, im an extremely brutally honest person, you know, with people. And im extremely brutally honest with myself. It is time for me to look myself in the mirror and do . Real soul searching. [ laughter ] jimmy when you do look in that mirror, youre in for a surprise. [ laughter ] because theres a womans scarf on your head. [ laughter ] did any of you watch the Comedy Central roast of alec baldwin last night . You dont have to pretend if you didnt. [ laughter ] these roasts are typically very funny and very brutal too. And thats hard to get away with in the year 2019. But Comedy Central came up i have to give them credit. They came one a gret idea. To balance things out next sunday night theyre airing a roast that appeals to those who arent comfortable with the traditional roasty humor. From the people who brought you the Comedy Central roasts comes a new kind of kindness. The Comedy Central new era of positivity roast. Jonah hill is here tonight. Jonah, youre like a jellyfish. Youre just gentle and easygoing and super fun to watch. [ laughter ] you wont believe how nice these comedians are to each other. My friend kevin hart is here. Kevin, listen, i wadont want t say kevin is short because i believe that god made us all the perfect size. Everyone is equal. And hosted by Henry Winkler. Snoop dogg is here. So im going to need someone to walk me to my car. Because ive got a present for you, snoop right out there in my trunk. With appearances by oprah, pope francis, michael j. Fox, ma laila, and natasha legero. Jeff ross is so jewish that i want to wish him a happy and healthy rosh hashanah. Lchayim, jeff. No one will be triggered. How bay hand for tonights host Henry Winkler . Henry, if youre here tonight, then whos out there volunteering in childrens hospitals . The Comedy Central new era of positivity roast. We only roast the ones we love. Courtney. I would [ bleep ] with bea arthurs [ bleep ]. Rest in peace, my dear friend bea. Only on Comedy Central. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy isnt that nicer . Hey, weve got a good show tonight. We have music from Melanie Martinez. Malcolm gladwell is here. And well be right back with Anthony Anderson. [ cheers and applause ] dicky Abcs Jimmy Kimmel live, brought to you by mercedesbenz. Was ahead of its time. Still, we never stopped making it stronger. Faster. Smarter. Because to be the best, is to never ever stop making it better. The 2020 cclass family. Lease the c 300 sedan for just 429 a month at your local mercedesbenz dealer. Mercedesbenz. 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Whatever youre craving. And whenever youre craving it. Doordash has the restaurants you want. Delivered to your door. Wherever your door happens to be. Download doordash. The most restaurants across america. First order, 0 delivery fee. Jimmy welcome back to the show. Tonight, he is a thinker and a podcaster and a writer too. His latest is called talking to strangers what we should know about the people we dont know. The always fascinating Malcolm Gladwell is here with us. [ applause ] then, her new album is called k through twelve, Melanie Martinez from the mercedesbenz stage. [ applause ]htl be a fun show. Chance the rapper and senator cory booker will be here. And later this week, we will be joined by zach galifianakis, nikolaj costerwaldau, lake bell, hugh bonneville, with music from fitz and the tantrums and maren morris. So please join us for that. Sometimes i think of our first guest tonight as the brother i never had, which is annoying to my real brother, but he gets it. [ laughter ] he plays the patriarch of the everexpanding ish empire, and the show that started it all, blackish returns to abc a week from tomorrow. Please welcome Anthony Anderson. [ cheers and applause ] how are you doing . Im doing great, jimmy. How are you . Jimmy why do you have those . Those are things i only have. Id just like to ask you a couple of questions about your fabulous trip to st. Tropez. Jimmy okay. Yeah. Whats jimmy ill hold it up for you. Whats going on with that, jimmy . Jimmy thats me on a vacation with magic and cookie. Uhhuh. Whats this one right here . Jimmy that is me still on vacation with magic and l. L. Cool j and a bunch of other guys. Yeah. Yeah. And whats up with that one right there . Jimmy thats me on vacation with magic. Youre missing there i am right in the i see. I bring these out, and i ask you this question because i was actually on vacation with magic and cookie. Jimmy oh, yeah. We had a great time. Yeah. I d. Sty is . Eis each yohathe te no,dont. heres thest truey. I have asked and sam jackson no less than magic ive asked seven times. Sam ive asked three times. Every time they say yeah, well invite you, well come out on the trip on the summer. Then it never happens jimmy, you have to stop asking. [ laughter ] jimmy i took matters into my own hands and photoshopped myself into the photo. And almost everyone believed i was there. I actually believed it the first day you did it. [ laughter ] and i was like, what the heck . I was like, wait a minute, i was there no, the very first day you did it i was like how did i miss my guy . Jimmy yeah. I really want to go. You did go, though. I did. Jimmy how did you get invited to that . Magic sent a solid gold brick to the house. Jimmy he threw it through the window . No. A brinks truck pulled up and delivered a solid gold brick to offset the cost i was going to incur for being in st. Tropez. Jimmy so you did incur a cost. A slight cost. But it was well worth, it man. Jimmy did you fly out there with magic . I did not. I flew out there with my wife. But in flying out there i said and did things, in particular said things that id never thought id say. Jimmy like . Like i got a text from magics assistant, natalie, saying mr. Johnson would like you to be in the front of hermes at 5 45 because the dinghy will take you out to the yacht. And i was like, oh, well, you know, my flight lands in nice at 6 45, which is a twohour drive. But herein lies the thing that i never thought id say. Ask magic if my helicopter could land on his yacht. [ laughter ] things a kid from compton, i never thought id say in my life, and was serious and meant it. Jimmy oh. Did he say no . Yes, he did. [ laughter ] he did. But i was jimmy is it big enough that a helicopter could land on it . The yacht is 280 feet long. Jimmy in other words, there would be plenty of room for me. Yes [ laughter ] yes. Jimmy so they just dont want me to be there. Probably. But you know, i cant maybe. There were so many people that looked like me there. [ laughter ] jimmy lets go through this. I feel like id provide some muchneeded diversity. What diversity and inclusion . Where would you be in that picture right there . Jimmy, where would you be . Jimmy id probably be just right here eating this [ laughter ] no, you know what was crazy, were dave winfield, hall of famer, and his wife tanya. Latanya jackson, earvin and cookie johnson, Angela Basset and her husband. Whats his name . Courtney b. Vance. Me and my wife. Spike and latanya lee. And pauletta washington. Denzels wife. Jimmy looks like you guys had fun without me. We did. Jimmy then it was in the newspaper locally in st. Tropez. We woke up locally and this was on the front panl of the st. Tropez paper. Keep the camera there. As you guys notice, Anthony Anderson is the only name mentioned. [ cheers and applause ] only name mentioned with all those heavyweights right there. Anthony anderson set on rouge [ speaking french ] jimmy was this your first time going on this trip . First time. Id been invited several times before. But the first time i was able to ever to make it work with my schedule. I see. Jimmy and was it as great as it seems like it would be . Words cannot begin to describe the fun and excitement that was there that entire jimmy was there entertainment on the yacht . No entertainment on the yacht. Thats just where they live. It was like a floating apartment in the mediterranean sea. Jimmy i see. They had a full equinox on the bottom level of the boat. Thats how big the boat is. Jimmy a gym or no, a full gym. Yeah. And you know whats crazy, you have dinghies that take you out to the boat. Earvin had a ferry that took you out to his boat. Thats how big his boat was. A ferry picked you up and took you to his boat. Jimmy oh, wow. Theres plenty of room on the ferry if i were to be plenty of room on the ferry. Plenty of room on the boat. Ill tell you how big this yacht was. This yacht was so big that it housed three smaller yachts in the bow of it. [ laughter ] im not lying. Jimmy no, it didnt. There were three there were three boats bigger than your sound stage in the bow of this boat jimmy was anyone on them . No that was just for decoration. [ applause ] because a ferry brought me out to the yacht but you talk about entertainment. So the entertainment for cookies birthday party, for her surprise, was jeffrey osborne, cheryl lynn, chaka khan, eddie levert, charlie wilson. Jimmy these are all my favorites. All of ours too. [ laughter ] all of ours too. And then so we thought the show was over. So were sitting out there in the ocean. The sea is right there. Its beautiful. Its outside. Its at the citadel, which is an old fort and castle. He had people dancing on the side of the wall and trapeze. And then he called everybody to the floor and said i want everybody to come out here and celebrate, you know, our birthday with us, come back out to the dance floor. Were all on the dance floor. We think were about to sing happy birthday to him. Then all of a sudden earvin says, ladies and gentlemen, earth, wind and fire and all 116 members of Earth Wind FireStart Performing on the stage, man. Jimmy thats how im going to get in. [ laughter ] first im going to try out to be in Earth Wind Fire. You can do a little something. Jimmy Anthony Anderson. Hes rubbing it in. But we have more with anthony. His show blackish comes back a week from tomorrow right here on abc. Well be right back. On abc. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] thrsatile chevy equinox. The stylish allnew chevy blazer. And the roomy Chevy Traverse with seating for up to eight. The chevy family of suvs. No matter what youre looking for in an suv, chevys got you covered. 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I dont even recognize this guy. Hes not the settling down type. The pops i know would never allow himself to be caught giggling. Hey. What you staring at . You never seen two people dancing together to music thats not playing . You know this is crazy. Im trying to find out what the game is. Well, ill tell you. Its simple. Im in love, sweet love, dummy. Jimmy that is Anthony Anderson on season 6 of blackish, which comes back a week from tomorrow, for which you are nominated for an emmy on sunday. Congratulations on that. Thank you. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how many years in a row have you been nominated . All five years that weve been on the air. Jimmy all five years. Yeah. That means ive lost every year too. [ laughter ] jimmy but its time now. Its time. Can we congratulate jimmy kim s mel and norman lear for winning an oscar this past weekend . Jimmy an emmy. [ cheers and applause ] youre not free solo. Jimmy first of all, thank you again for being part of that show playing Henry Jefferson on all in the family. The reboot. And you were there we hung out, we actually sat right next to each other, which was fun. Its a long show, but we had a lot of we did. Jimmy i had a lot of comments. Some we can say and some we cant. Jimmy right. Im curious, though. Jimmy about what . What was the 100 bet that you or why did you give your wife molly 100 . And ill say this. Were sitting there were sitting there and all of a sudden jimmy just pulls out a wad of hundreds and he just peels off and hands it to his wife. I stick my hand out he peels one off and gives it to me. And molly says dont you dare give it back to him. So i pulled out my wad of hundreds and wrapped it around mine and put it in my pocket. [ applause ] and so i never knew what that transaction was about. Is it something you can talk about on air . Jimmy absolutely. Its not that interesting. But first of all, i want you to know that yesterday i was like putting my money and it wasnt a wad of hundreds. There happened to be two on the outside. And im looking at it, i go, oh, anthony kept my 100. But it was my wife wanted to go get some pretzels to bring them back. And then when she came back theyd closed the line, they cut it off. I remember that. Jimmy thats what they you know, pretzels are expensive. Especially at microsoft. Jimmy at that microsoft theater. Yeah. Okay. Jimmy thats what the 100 was for. It wasnt like what did you think it was for . I had no idea. I just saw my brother jimmy giving out brother and i wanted my cut. Jimmy i had to pay my wife our deal is i told her if you agree to marry me ill pay you 100 an hour. [ laughter ] so blackish, you now have two spinoff shows, which really is the mark of a successful show. For instance, norman lear, there were so many spinoffs from all in the family, the jeffersons, maude. Now you have two spinoff shows, grownish and mixedish. Are you part of those programs . Yes, i am. Jimmy are you appearing on those . Yes well, mixedish probably not because that is about rainbows childhood character growing up a mixed child living on a commune. Jimmy so you would have to literally travel in time to do that. Yes. Jimmy but thats possible. Thats possible. You might see a young dre. Like we have flashbacks on blackish. But ive been on grownish all throughout all three or four seasons theyve been around now. Jimmy it is remarkable how strong the show still is and how it keeps going. And of course your big emmy nomination on sunday. I you know what . Im going to give you another 100. I appreciate that. Weil were speaking about the emmys, i understand the emmys that we all won collectively were for the producers. But do the actors get those too . Jimmy apparent i. Not. E rs. Without the actors you wouldnt have been able to produce anything. Jimmy i know. Just furniture really. [ laughter ] oh, man. Damn it, i thought i could get one. Because if doesnt look good again this year for me. Jimmy its not . Its some stiff competition. I always feel great about it. This year lime ike, ah. Its don cheadle, ted danson, michael douglas. And then a kid from compton. Jimmy but dont you love your name is on that list with those guys . I do. Jimmy well, congratulations. Anthony anderson, everybody. Thank you. Jimmy season 6 of blackish a week from tomorrow night. Well be back with Malcolm Gladwell woman 1 oc this is my body of proof. Man 1 vo proof of less joint pain and clearer skin. Man 2 vo proof that i can fight psoriatic arthritis. Woman 2 vo . With humira. Woman 3 vo humira targets and blocks a specific source of inflammation that contributes to both joint and skin symptoms. Its proven to help relieve pain, stop further irreversible joint damage, and clear skin in many adults. 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For adults with moderately to severely active crohns disease, stelara® works differently. Studies showed relief and remission, with dosing every 8 weeks. Stelara® may lower your ability to fight infections and may increase your risk of infections and cancer. Some serious infections require hospitalization. Before treatment, get tested for tb. Tell your doctor if you have an infection or flulike symptoms or sores, have had cancer, or develop new skin growths, or if anyone in your house needs or recently had a vaccine. Alert your doctor of new or worsening problems, including headaches, seizures, confusion and vision problems. These may be signs of a rare, potentially fatal brain condition. Some serious allergic reactions and lung inflammation can occur. Talk to your doctor today, and learn how janssen can help you explore cost support options. Remission can start with stelara®. Jimmy welcome back to the show. Melanie martinez is on the way. Our next guest is one of the most popular and interesting writers in the world. He wrote blink, the tipping point, outliers. I think he wrote yoga for dummies. Hes written a lot of stuff. This is his new one. Its called talking to strangers what we should know about the people we dont know. Please welcome Malcolm Gladwell [ cheers and applause ] how are you . Im good. Jimmy very good to see you. Congratulations on the book. Im sure it is a lot of work and then when it comes out im sure its very satisfying. Im enjoying myself. Its been many, many years since i had six years since my last book. Jimmy talk about the title of the book, talking to strangers and the book is all about this idea that we think all the tools we have for making sense of our friends betray us when we talk to strangers. So were really good if i know you really well, i have a whole series of strategies i use to kind of understand you, decode your behavior. Jimmy unconsciously. Unconsciously and consciously. Jimmy okay. But then if i transfer those same strategies to someone whos a stranger you go off in all kinds of weird and random directions and you end up making all kinds of grave mistakes. And the book is about its a whole series of stories about all the ways in which our strategies for dealing with strangers jimmy i think thats true. And i have my own kind of experiences that have led me to that. Like ive had you know, you walk out and ill see the audience and most everyone is clapping and happy and then you meet a guyu see a guy whos got his arms folded and i inevitably will zero in on that person. Start talking to that person. And then the guy says oh, im just real excited to be here, you know, i watch the show every night. And you go, oh, i thought you were unfriendly and it turns out i was just wrong. The word the technical word for that, that person is mismatched. So matched is where athens as anderson what mono was just her perfectly matched. When he was telling a story you got the sense as you looked at his facial expression and body language, it was perfectly in harmony with the way he felt inside. But there wasnt that kind of discrepancy between those two things. The guy in the audience like this whos having a great time is mismatched. And we have trouble with people who are mismatched. But lots of people are i mean, actors arent you cant be a mismatched actor. Jimmy well, one of the things you talk about is friends the show, which is maybe the moef populst popular all time in the history of television. And you say that friends is lying to us. Friends is deeply misleading. [ laughter ] the thing about jimmy they werent friends . The paradox of friends is if you describe if you try and describe the plot of an episode, its like impossible. If you diagrammed it on a flow chart it would take up pages. Monica does this and like phoebe and then rachel goes off in this direction. But no ones ever watched an episode of friends and at the end said you know, they lost me. [ laughter ] it never happens. So the question is why how do you explain this paradox . And the explanation is that everyone on friends is perfectly matched. So when phoebe is surprised her jaw drops, her eyes go wide, and her eyebrows go up. Right . When ross is perplexed, as he often is, he looks exactly like a perplexed person is supposed to look. You watch the show, you can turn the sound off. Ive done this. Turn the sound off on an episode of you havent seen before and at the end of it ask yourself did i know what was going on . Totally. Jimmy you will know whats going on. But the whole point is thats not real life. No one behaves that way in real life. Jimmy its like the emoji of shows in a way. If all you do as many of us do is watch tv shows like friends, you come away with this totally phony picture of the real world. Jimmy and people we think we know how to read like a lot of people, poker players, whatever, take real pride in being able to read. Are you saying that we none of us really can or theyre experts that really can read other people . Theres a huge amount of Psychological Research on this, and the bottom line is that human beings are universally, with like a tiny number of exceptions, terrible at telling whether someone is telling the truth. Jimmy really . We just cant do it. We all have these pretend things like the person looks to the left and thats a tell. Its just nonsense, total nonsense. Basically, everything you learn on those mindhunter, you know, cop shows about how the savvy fbi guy can tell what its just complete and utter nonsense. They can do tests where you have a seasoned fbi agent and you show a series of videotapes where half are people lying and half are people telling the truth and you say tell me which is which and they cant do it. Jimmy really . Theyre no better than anybody else . No better than anybody else. This is one of those little fictions. But imagine what Television Cop shows would be like if they accurately reflected human behavior. Jimmy it would be ridiculous. So at the end of a law order episode or like the fbi agent would be like i have no idea. [ laughter ] none of those shows like the third act of the show, they couldnt wrap it up. Theyd just be like, eh. Jimmy what about judges who sit there and talk like judge judy, for instance, who sits there and talks to one person after another and has to determine whos telling the truth and who isnt. No . Not even judge judy . I feel bad for i dont want to harsh on judge judy. Jimmy you shouldnt single her out. Because shell come at you. [ laughter ] also respect selecting i mean, how many people does she judge and then they pick like the two that are the most impressive . We dont see the 20 times when she totally got it wrong. Jimmy i get the idea theyre using every minute of judge judys time is being used on camera. Super efficient. Whats interesting of course is you talk to strangers for a living. So i would be really i mean, every single night youre not always meeting someone for the first time but often, right . Jimmy oftentimes. And i talk to a lot of strangers outside the show. I mean, probably thiskend i probably talked to 250 strangers. Maybe 350 strangers. People coming up. Not you actively searching out strangers. [ laughter ] jimmy no. I stand in the intersection here and i say, im on tv, everybody. [ applause ] no, i talk to a lot of strangers. And i do feel like i get a sense of them but maybe im not. Youre very, very nicely matched, i will say. Jimmy oh, thank you. Is that good . You dont have any secret agendas. When youre engaged i think you look engaged. Jimmy uhhuh. So i think people respond to that when strangers come up to you in the street, theyre like i think i understand whats going on inside jimmys heart. Jimmy oh. What is going on in there . [ laughter ] a lot of cholesterol in there. [ laughter ] every time i think this is my third time on your show, and every time you send me a picture framed it comes to my house, my cleaning lady, shes very aggressive in how she which pictures she puts up on the mantle. And she will always take down the ones of my family and put up the ones jimmy oh. I like that. She has a special connection with you. Shes like to hell with like malcolms mom. Its jimmy that i feel like i can jimmy because i dont come over and mess up the guest room. [ laughter ] turns the ones with my parents down and jimmy gets turned up. Jimmy im going to write something specifically to her. I dont know what it is. Jimmy its great to have you here. I love reading your books. This one is called talking to strangers. Its out now. Malcolm gladwell. Well be right back with Melanie Martinez. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is presented by the 2019 aclass. Mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Jimmy thanks to Anthony Anderson and Malcolm Gladwell. Apologies to matt damon. We ran out of time for him. Nightline is next but first, this is her album k through twelve. Here with the song strawberry shortcake, Melanie Martinez. [ cheers and applause ] feeling unsure of my naked body stand back watch it taking shape wondering why i dont look like barbie they say boys like girls with a tiny waist amas prch m but, i never really cared about that before look around the room to whoever wants me got boys acting like they aint seen skin before got sent home to change cause my skirt is too short its my fault its my fault cause i put icing on to now, the boys want a taste of the strawberry shortcake thats my bad thats my bad no one taught them not to grab now, the boys want a taste of the strawberry shortcake gotta make sure that my legs are shiny hot wax melting burn my skin people all around me watching closely cause its how i look and not what i think mikeys eyes seem to be glued to her chest so, im stuffing my bra so that mine look the best its my fault its my fault cause i put icing on top now, the boys want a taste of the strawberry shortcake thats my bad thats my bad no one taught th not to grab now, the boys want a taste of the strawberry shortcake instead of making me feel bad for the body i got just teach him to keep and tell him to stop sayin its my fault its my fault cause i put icing on top now, the boys want a taste of the strawberry shortcake thats my bad thats my bad no one taught them not to grab now, the boys want a taste of the strawberry shortcake thats my bad no one taught them not to grab now, the boys want a taste of the strawberry shortcake [ cheers and applause ] this is nightline. Tonight, mommy wine culture. Its everywhere. Drink super moms claiming a little mommy juice helps keep them from getting super stressed. But tonight a queen of cool mom Cocktail Culture coming to terms with her relationship to booze. I needed more and more to feel alive. Trading the wine glass for wellness. Plus, ballroom bombshell. Sailor brinkleycook. The surprise headline behind tonights premiere of dancing with the stars. Christie brinkley taking a dramatic tumble. Daughter sailor gliding into moms shoes at the very last minute. Were going to have mom and daughter here for the comments and scores. And i guess youre just what i