Their parents basements for the first comiccon are now living in their grandparents basements. Their own kids living under them. Did you know every year at comiccon at least five people die from getting their cape stuck in an escalator. It also is world emoji day, this is an International Event organized by whom i dont know. But on behalf of everyone at the show, smiley face with hearts for eyes, prayer hands, prayer hands and a thumb up to you. Some parent are concerned that their kids are using emojis to communicate in code, and yeah, they are. They are doing it. Every emoji is also a sex thing. All of them. Even santa claus has some kind of connotation. But emojis have become a universal language in some ways. And in honor of world emoji day today we decided to put pedestrians to the test. We went out on the street and showed people some common combinations of emojis, like phrases that people use to ask them if they could tell us what they mean. If somebody sent you this, what does this mean . This is someone whos against religion i would imagine, because its a church and poo. Maybe its a popular phrase. Poopin in church. Someones talkin gossip at church . What does this mean . Holy [ bleep ]. Great. Hands, clapping, clapping. This means like whatever. This, i dont know, is that a fruit or something . Touching butts. Touching butts . Yeah. What would you say if someone sent this to you . Thank you . Hands on, hands on your boobs. Time doesnt stop when a cow poops. Stop eating expired meat or else you will poop. No time for bull [ bleep ]. When you make a decision about your diet. Corn or doughnuts. Shove a piece of corn up your [ bleep ] doughnut. Corn hole either way. Either, either hole. Thats what, oh, god, i probably would be offended if i got this. Put your corn in the doughnut. Put your corn in the doughnut . Yes, sir. And move it back and forth. Jimmy well, listen now, we learned something. That was educational. Our president has been very angry face emoji at the socalled squad of four nonwhite Congress Women that he says hate the United States and should go back to the countries they came from, even though well, theyre all americans. Three were born here and the other moved here as a kid. Yesterday in the house, all 235 democrats, plus one independent and four republicans voted to condemn trumps racist tweets. They had a vote. And by the way, there will be another vote on whether trump is a racist november 2020. Were all invited to vote on that one. Some political observers believe by focussing on racism the democrats are playing into trumps hands. Although theyre so small its really hard to tell. They may be right. According to a new poll, trumps support among republicans is up 5 since he began those attacks, although his Approval Rating among democrats dropped 2 , which i think was all the democrats he had left. There are so many pundits on cable news. They go why wont republicans in Congress Stand up to this president . Maybe for the same reason dogs dont stand up to their owners because the owners give them meat . I dont know if youve seen the new slogan. Embracism. Its catchy. I wonder what would happen if he started acting like a human being . Would his poll numbers go down . I guess we wont find out. You know who doesnt have a problem with his tweets . His third favorite son eric. I love the tweet. If you dont love our country, get out. If you complain about our country, go experience somewhere else in the world. Ive seen a lot of the world, right . We have it so great in america. Were the best at absolutely everything we do. You go see some of the conditions around the world. Im not saying america doesnt have certain problems. Go see conditions around the world and we are so fortunate to live here. If you dont like it here, i like his message, leave. Jimmy thats what they said about that haircut. If you are not happy about it, leave. Poor et. Hes never had a hug. You know how trump said hes not a fan of Jeffrey Epstein . Guess what, theres a new old tape that has emerged with the president of the United States living it up with guess who . A tape of the archives shows trump giving epstein h personal attention. Donald, donald, donald the footage shot in november of 1992, before trump opened the club, shows the president surrounded by cheerleaders for the bills and dolphins, capturing his funloving bachelor lifestyle. Jimmy well, who knew he was such a great dancer. How are we still finding embarrassing old videos of this guy . Theres one part i want to take another look at. This is really the donald in action. Watch his hand, watch this move. Yeah, thats the old billy bush style grab and pat on the but the right there. If i was joe biden, every time he called me creepy, i would hold up that video. Can you do that on a flip phone . Have you been using this face app . Everybodys using the face app. Its an app, you take a photo of yourself, makes a very realistic picture of you as an old person. We did it with guillermo, and thats what guillermo looks like. You look like an exiled south american dictator. No, i look good. Jimmy so everyones doing this. I dont know why everyones doing this. If you want to see what you will look like old, just have children. The scary part of the app is in order to use it, you grant face app a perpetual, irrevocable, worldwide, fully paid, sub licensable to reproduce, adopt, create derivative work and display your user content in any user name or likeness in connection with your user contact now known or later developed without compensation to you. Oh, great, sign me up. That sounds good. And the people youre granting this permission to . Its a company in russia. So this is just a good rule. If everyone in the internet is doing something that seems fun, dont do it. Do not join in. Since they have our information anyway, i thought it would be fun to give the face app treatment to some of the democratic nominees for president to see what they might look like after eight years in the white house. It can age you. This is senator Kamala Harris who is with us tonight. There she is after the face app. This is senator cory booker. And this is what he would look like in eight years. This is senator Elizabeth Warren and in 2028. This is Vice President joe biden, lookin pretty looks just like bob barker there. Beto orourke after two terms . Oh, wow. Pete buttigieg . Bill de blasio . Bill de blasio really comes to life. And finally, senator bernie sanders, after becoming president , bernie sanders. I guess the glasses are gone. [ applause ] not only is senator Kamala Harris with us, we have music from offset. Offset is here. Doing their song clout with assistance from his bride, cardi b. Offset is very popular. If youre an older music fan, maybe you might have trouble understanding some of his lyrics. There is a lot of new lingo, but fortunately, i am here to help explain them. Its time for new lyrics for old people. To help us is offset and cardi b. [cheers and applause] good to see you. Jimmy thank you for being here. This is going to be great. So offset, you wrote the song. You know what everything means. You start the lyrics, and i will translate line byline. And well do it together, okay . Straight out to the street penthouse miami beach, yo, yo. Jimmy i came from humble beginnings. But now i own a condominium in florida. Yao. Swept enough my bitch. I bought her the limo. She bought me the ring. Jimmy that means my wife and i exchange cars and jewelry, okay . Good. Get the well. Jimmy im saving my money for my children and i love instagram a lot. I see, i see, i see, whole lot of people need to hear this. Its mom names to my hit list. Jimmy everyone listen closely, because im upset with a lot of you. Say what it wants to, but [ bleep ] like a fat bitch. Jimmy i believe in free speech and i am sexually aroused. No, it doesnt mean that. Jimmy what does it mean . Have you heard that big girls have better vagina than skinny girls . Jimmy of course, my mother taught me that when i was younger. Thats what i meant. Jimmy thank you for correcting. Lets keep going. I sure would hope blog at this rate, theyre using my name for clickbait. Jimmy youre such a topic of online conversation you might, youre thinking about maybe becoming ceo of buzz feed and women are instigating fights to promote their music and hair extensions. Yes. Jimmy thank you. All right. [cheers and applause] jimmy i think this is really helpful so far. You want me to keep on going . Jimmy yeah. They tickin me off. Say anything to get a response. Jimmy theyre aware of her talent and are just trying to get a rise out of her. Yeah. I know theyre mean, somebody got to jimmy their popularity is waning. Yes, every single time jimmy im so happy right now, i cant even explain it. Youre good. [cheers and applause] jimmy all right. Shall we do the rest . Or do we have the idea . I think were good. I think you got it. Thk at learned here is there are a lot of people who are trying really to take some of your fame by taking shots at you and you guys have had enough of it, yes . They do anything for clout. Jimmy do anything for clout. Yes, sir yes jimmy i should really be on the next song. Yeah, you should, some people dont understand our lingo, and i think you would be really good at that. Jimmy thank you, cardi b, i appreciate it, and thank you, offset. Well hear more from you guys later. Jimmy tonight on the show, music from offset with cardi b. Lenny clarke is here. And well be right back with senator Kamala Harris. Abcs Jimmy Kimmel Live, brought to you by discover. Ch ys at the end of your first year. Youll match my miles . Yeah mile for mile and no blackout dates or annual fee. Nice i was thinking about taking a scuba diving trip i love that. Or maybe go surfing. Or not. Ok. Maybe somewhere else. Maybe a petting zoo. Cant go wrong. Cant get eaten. Earn miles. Well match em at the end of your first year. Plus no annual fee or blackouts. The discover it® miles card. Dont stop, i cant feel the heat yet dont let it catch you whoa i cant feel the heat i feel, i feel golden i feel like glitter on my shoulders i feel like i feel, i feel golden i feel like, oh, i feel golden tees starting at four dollars, for every school list. Thats why theres new frontline we all want our dogs to live long and healthy lives. Oral defense, daily oral health chews. It works two ways. It scrubs down to the gum line, then the heart shaped center coats for a whole mouth clean. New frontline oral defense. Whatever youre craving. And whenever youre craving it. Doordash has the restaurants you want. Delivered to your door. Wherever your door happens to be. Download doordash. The most restaurants across america. First order, 0 delivery fee. Ok who. Iall of us. Old navy . His stripes, her dots, my spots, its all old navy honey. Really . We cool . Yea. Were cool. Shop kids baby on sale up to sixty percent off. With styles from just five bucks. Now at old navy. What just happened . Jimmy well, hello there, and welcome back to our show. Tonight, he is a very funny man who ran all the way from boston to be here. Comedian lenny clarke. Then his album is called father of 4, offset featuring cardi b from the mercedesbenz outdoor stage. Tomorrow night we have a good show, billy eichner, sean mcvay and music from spoons. So please join us for that. Jimmy of the four leading candidates for the 2020 democratic nomination for president , our first guest is the only one young enough to have listened to offset and cardi b on purpose. Shes from right here in california and she means business. Please welcome senator Kamala Harris. [cheers and applause] jimmy welcome home. Youre home in california. Youve been in iowa, right . I was just there yesterday. Jimmy how long were you there . That was a 24hour trip, but before i was there for several days. Jimmy had you been to iowa before . Not before i was a candidate, yeah. But now ive been there a lot. Jimmy you did very well in the debate, and now the polls are surging. You had a big bump in the National Poll and in california youre number one. Which is good, because its your state. Yeah. Jimmy and i think in New Hampshire youre number two in New Hampshire . Which is good, right . Im not paying attention to the poll. Jimmy do you not Pay Attention to the polls . No, the only poll that matters to me is on election day. Jimmy did anybody come to you and say heres how its going . Yeah, my team has told me, and certainly, its positive reenforcement. Jimmy is the reason you dont Pay Attention to the polls what happened last election . I have a complicated relationship with polls, which is this. When i started, when i first ran for d. A. , when i first ran for attorney general people said to me nobody like you has done this. Theyre not ready for you, and the first polls that came out suggested to everyone that we couldnt win. So from then on ive just kind of felt like, you know what . Im going to Pay Attention to the voters and the people and leave it to the consultants to Pay Attention to the polls. Jimmy ultimately, the polls dont matter, although they do matter when it comes to fund raising. It is an indication of where you are. Jimmy you got a big boost at the debate. I think you broke two of joe bidens ribs at the debate, are you aware of that . Do you have any regret of going in so hard on him . You know, i, i felt strongly that we needed to have a full discussion about that era in our country. And it was a discussion that had been occurring for, probably about two weeks before the debate. And i felt the need to be sure that we are reflecting true history as it relates to integration of the schools and the need to force integration because there were so many states that were adamant against allowing the children of all races to be educated together. And ill tell you, jimmy, i have had so many people come up to me and almost whisper, like its a secret among us. Black and white. I was bussed. Since that debate. Its something that, it has not been the subject of much discussion in the last few decades, but it is something that impacted millions of people in our country, and i think its an important, its an important reminder that we have to always remember our history and the last chapter if were going to accurately and correctly write the next chapter. Jimmy is there a danger you feel [ applause ] because this is, i feel like this is unlike any other election. Yeah. Jimmy is there a danger that the democrats will cannibalize and really hurt each other going into, you know, the big prize . I hope not. And i think that most of us are of like mind, that this should be, on that debate stage a debate about issues but not personal attacks. It should be about, you know, pointing out the differences, obviously between us so that democrats can make a decision, but it should not be about cannibalizing anybody. Jimmy if you get to the point where you are debating trump, will you engage in personal attacks . I hope the answer is yes. I will prosecute the case against four more years. Theres a rap sheet to be prosecuted. Jimmy he barely mentioned you at his rally tonight, which i think means hes most scared of you. I really do. Hes been focussing on, why do you think hes focussing on these Congress Women so much . I think that he is, has defiled the office of the president of the United States. Jimmy you call him a coward, which isnt necessarily fair. This man almost went to vietnam were it not for his bone spurs. Bone spurs. Heres thing. The president of the United States. Jimmy mmhm. Has so much power, and in particular, in that microphone that she holds. Jimmy shes a woman . She should be president. And what we have seen is that this individual, this president , he, i guess, believes that his power is to beat people down instead of what real power and strength is about, which is lifting people up. [cheers and applause] jimmy that doesnt seem to be the case. And thats why i also call him a coward. You know my background. I was a prosecutor. I took on predators, be they Transnational Criminal Organizations that preyed on women and children or the big banks that preyed on homeowners, pharmaceutical companies, forprofit colleges. Im going to tell you something about predators. By their very nature and character and instinct, they prey on the vulnerable. They prey on those they believe to be weak. They prey on those who are in need of help and often desperate in need of help. And this is the kind of characteristic that we see in this president. And then he embraces the, he embraces the dictators. He embraces kim jong un. He embraces vladimir putin. He embrace mbs. And lets be clear about those three fellas, right . Which is on the issue of russias interference in the election of the president of the United States, this president prefers to take it word of the russian president over the word of the American Intelligence Community on the subject of an american student who was tortured and later died. This president prefers to take the word of the north korean dictator, on the journalist who has american credentials. He prefers to take the word of a saudi prince over the word of the American Intelligence Community. Who is this guy . Jimmy i think, i really, i mean, you crystallized it very well. I think he was the host of Celebrity Apprentice . Exactly. He obviously achieved success there. He obviously has achieved very little success here, so he should go back to that. Jimmy senator Kamala Harris is here, well be right back. Jimmy senator Kamala Harris is here, well be right back. Int. But theres more. Switch now and get 4 free phones for your family. Hashtag first date he aint family yet. But theres more. You also get 4 lines for just 100 a month with unlimited gigs so you can stay close to your loved ones. Cut your hair, hippie. Switch to boost mobile and get 4 free lg stylo™ 5 phones, 4 lines for 100 a month with unlimited gigs, all on our super reliable, super fast nationwide network. Charmin ultra soft its softer than ever. Charmin ultra soft is softer than ever. So its harder to resist. Okay, this is getting a little weird. Enjoy the go with charmin this is something bigger. G. That is big. Not as big as that. Big. Bigger. Big. Bigger. This is big. And thats bigger. Friends family sale . Take an extra 20 off save on kids apparel. Yoand a toaster oven. Ust 19. 99. Plus save even more on your backtoschool purchase plus plus free amazon returns now at all kohls stores this weekend. At kohls. Alright, so this is how you are going to say. Youll get the best deal of the year on xfinity tv and internet. And you even get this. Mike, youre on balloons. Sarah, youre gonna high five everybody. Ben, youre gonna be wowing them with your dance moves. Dont miss the xfinity best deal of the year. Now thats simple, easy, awesome. Get amazing tv and internet during our best deal of the year. With huge savings of 600 over 2 years. Plus a speed upgrade to 400 megs, free for 2 years. And ask about even more savings with xfinity mobile. Click, call or visit a store today. Milk, fresh cream and only sustainably farmed vanilla. Its made with fresh cream, sugar and milk. Breyers the good vanilla. We proudly partner with American Farmers for grade a milk and cream. Mmm but we were made to move. So move more live more degree motionsense made to move. Jimmy Kamala Harris of california is here, back home in california. What are you going to do . Youre here a short time. Im here. Ive got a number of meetings and events, and im having the inlaws and kids over for dinner tomorrow night so im cooking. Jimmy today there was a vote, it was almost a unanimous vote. This was for the september 11th victims fund. Yes, yes. Jimmy john stewart spoke beautifully about this. The idea was they would extend those benefits for victims of september 11th, and one senator, rand paul, voted to block it. It makes us wonder if you can ever come together on anything. The way that i approached, its tragic that that did not pass. Jimmy yeah. Because as we know and have known, for more than a decade, there are so many heroes associated with 9 11 who deserve to receive all the benefit of our respect and dignity we can give them. You know, on the broader issue about whether we can find any Common Ground in the United States congress, i do believe we can. Because i believe that the American People know that the vast majority of us have so much more in common than what separates us, and the way that i think about my priorities is through the lens of what i call the 3 00 in the morning thought, right . Which is when people wake up in the middle of the night with that thought thats been weighing on them. When theyre thinking that thought, it is never through the lens of the party with which theyre registered to vote. It is never through the simplistic demographic polls put them in. When were thinking that thought, you know this, i know this well. It has to do with our personal health, the health of our children or our parents, can i get a job, keep a job. Can i pay off the Student Loans . Can i help my Family Member get off their opioid addiction or drug addiction . The vast majority of us have so much more in common than what separates us, and if we approach priorities through that lens, i do believe we can see progress. But the first thing weve got to do is agree also that we are going to reject those people who are trying to sow hate and division among us. And this is the contrast, which is what i believe the American People truly are and what we are hearing from supposed leaders. Whats been happening over the past 48 hours, people may not agree with my policies. People may not vote for me, but we have got to get to a place where we as americans agree. We have got to unify as a country among our commonalities, we have got to. Jimmy you support medicare for all . I do. Jimmy do you, and you, would people be able to still go and get supplemental insurance. Yes, they would. Absolutely. Jimmy is this something, medicare for all would cost the middle class or lower middle class, the lower class more, something that would increase taxes . No, it would not. And it would actually Bring Health Care to the access of health care is not related to how much money you have in your back pocket. We have medicare for all. You know where that is . The Emergency Rooms of america, and it is too expensive, and it also means that people are getting access to health care when theyre in crisis. Instead of before then, when we can actually alleviate their pain and extend the quality of their life in a much smarter and more effective way. You know, and people, theres a whole argument that people think, maybe is this going to mean that i need to, that i have to worry about not being able to see my doctor . 91 of the doctors in america are in medicare. And those that are not are mostly pediatricians. And the 9 , and you know why theyre not in medicare, because medicare doesnt cover children. Jimmy mmhm. But when we have medicare for all, that will not be any longer the case, which means the vast majority of doctors will be in that system and you can keep your doctor under that system and it will be that when you walk into that hospital, when you walk into the doctors office, you dont have to fill out all those forms and give your credit card. You just give your Medicare Card and you walk in and you walk out when youre done. Jimmy youve been working on a Prescription Drug plan. Yes. Jimmy what is that plan . Its about bringing the cost of Prescription Drugs down. The pharmaceutical companies have been jacking up prices hand over fist for years. I want to require that they pay a fair price for drugs. What that means is looking at what other countries are charging for the same drugs and then bringing the price down so it will be, it will match the average of what other countries are paying because why is it that the United States government is the only one that is allowing its people to pay more for the same drug that people can get in canada for half the price . Jimmy many of which we are making. I know. This is my point. And why isnt the American Government standing up . Well, because you have so many people in washington, d. C. Who are in the back pocket of the pharmaceutical companies. Jimmy whos worst one . Nameem ive got a list. But also, what im prepared to do is this. If we cant get consensus in the congress about that and also getting rid of the tax loophole for pharmaceutical companies to advertise on television, right . Because they get tax breaks, all those advertisements you see. Jimmy how will we hear about mesothelioma if we dont, every four minutes. If we cant get congress to act on that, what im prepared to do as president is take executive action to one, allow people to buy their drugs from canada, to also put in place an attorney general of the United States who will prosecute pharmaceutical companies for predatory practices and to take the, the, the licenses, basically, that the patents that Drug Companies who have been funded and their research has been government funded, take their patents if they fail to bring prices down to the average of what other countries are charging. [ applause ] jimmy thank you for being here. Youre welcome. Jimmy give my best to everyone in iowa. Senator Kamala Harris, everyone. Shes running for president. Well be right back with lenny clarke. Well be right back with lenny clarke. So mac, which laptop lasts longer . Surface laptop lasts longer. Hmm, interesting. And which ones faster . This ones faster. Really . Amazing. Which one has a better touchscreen . The surface has a better touchscreen. Because it actually has a touchscreen. Oh, right. Macs dont have touchscreens. You should get a surface. Trust me, im mac book. Well, there you have it. Mac book says, get a surface. No i, i cant feel the heat yet dont let it catch you i cant feel the heat olay ultra moisture body wash gives skin the nourishment it needs and keeps it there longer with lockin moisture technology. Skin is petal smooth. Because your best skin starts with olay. Keep being you. And ask your doctor about biktarvy. Biktarvy is a complete onepill, onceaday treatment used for hiv in certain adults. Its not a cure, but with one small pill, biktarvy fights hiv with three different medicines to help you get to undetectable. That means the amount of virus is so low it cant be measured in lab tests. Serious side effects can occur, including kidney problems and kidney failure. Rare, lifethreatening side effects include a buildup of lactic acid and liver problems. Do not take biktarvy if you take dofetilide or rifampin. Tell your doctor about all the medicines and supplements you take, if you are pregnant or breastfeeding, or if you have kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis. If you have hepatitis b, do not stop taking biktarvy without talking to your doctor. Common side effects were diarrhea, nausea, and headache. If youre hivpositive, keep loving who you are, inside and out. Ask your doctor if biktarvy is right for you. Yof your daily routine. Lf so why treat your mouth any differently . Listerine® completes the job by preventing plaque, early gum disease, and killing up to 99. 9 of germs. Try listerine® and for onthego, try listerine® ready tabs™ i feel, i feel golden i feel like glitter on my shoulders i feel like i feel, i feel golden i feel like, oh, i feel golden supplies from 50 cents, for every school list. Sports have gone away. Kids just want to play. So, this is what we say. So, this is what we say. Bring back the tigers. Your mighty, mighty tigers. [cheering sounds] bring back the tigers. Across the country, schools are having to cut sports. Im tony the tiger and im on a mission to fix that. Buy a box and help all kids be tigers. Dicky if youre going to be in the l. A. Area and want to see the show, call 866jimmy tix or. I am totally blind. And non24 can make me show up too early. Or too late. Or make me feel like im not really there. Talk to your doctor, and call 8442342424. Wherever you are. Whatever youre craving. And whenever youre craving it. Doordash has the restaurants you want. Delivered to your door. Wherever your door happens to be. Download doordash. The most restaurants across america. First order, 0 delivery fee. And these new highrise slim straights are it. Take that jane fineberg. Take what . Jane i see youre still a weirdo. Made a whole career of it babe. All jeans on sale up to fifty percent off and get five bucks off when you try them on. Only at old navy. momespecially these days. Its easy to shrink into your own little world. dad i think its here. mom vo especially at this age. big sister where are we going . mom vo its a big, beautiful world out there. little sister woah. big sister wow. See that . mom vo sometimes you just need a little help seeing it. avo the threerow subaru ascent. Love. Its what makes a subaru, a subaru. Get zero percent during the subaru a lot to love event. Number one in Overall Network performance. Full of awards. Highest in Wireless NetworkQuality Performance. Highest in Wireless NetworkQuality Performance in the North Central region. Its hard to know what to think. Thats why sprints doing things differently and offering a new one hundred percent total satisfaction guarantee. So, you can try out the network, see the savings and decide for yourself. Switch to sprint and get both an unlimited plan and one of the newest phones included for just thirtyfive dollars a month. For people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay. Com. But dad, youve got allstate. With accident forgiveness they guarantee your rates wont go up just because of an accident. Smart kid. Indeed. Are you in good hands . But one blows them allmany moisturizers. Out of the water. Hydro boost with hyaluronic acid to plump skin cells so it bounces back. Neutrogena® and try our hydrating makeup. A lot of folks ask me why their dishwasher doesnt get everything clean. I tell them, it may be your detergent. Thats why more dishwasher brands recommend cascade platinum. Its speciallydesigned with the soaking, scrubbing and rinsing built right in. Cascade platinums unique actionpacs dissolve quickly. To remove stuckon food. For sparklingclean dishes, the first time. Choose the detergent that lets your dishwasher do the dishes cascade platinum. The number one recommended brand in north america. Jimmy welcome back. Still to come, offset and cardi b. Our next guest is a very funny man who is not running for president. You can see him live at Giggles Comedy Club this weekend in saugus, massachusetts. Please welcome lenny clarke. Hello, how are you . You look fantastic. How much weight did you lose . 200 pounds. Jimmy for real 200 pounds. For real. Jimmy, i was so fat my wife said you can start having sex with other people. Jimmy it freed up your marriage. It did. I could see my junk again. Im very happy. Jimmy is she still okay with that now that youve lost the weight . Oh, no, no, no, she put the brakes on. Jimmy i have a photograph. Before and after. Im guessin this ones before. Yeah. Jimmy what are you doing there, are you in a baby stroller . Whats happening there it took them a week to get that lawn chair out of my ass. Jimmy and here, what are you doing, Walking Around the neighborhood scaring the children . I got a deal on a borat suit. Jimmy wow, look at you. I love looking at your body. Thank you, and i yours. Look how skinny you are. Jimmy what are you going to do about Prescription Drug prices, do you have a plan or anything like that . I got a guy. Jimmy have you thought about running for office . Seems like in boston you could run for anything you wanted to. I could, i was in city hall and people said you should run for mayor, you should run for mayor. I didnt know they were kidding, and i did. Jimmy how old were you when you did this . 26 maybe. Jimmy and did you take it seriously at all . Well, my, my Campaign Office was in a poodle salon. And they would be cutting poodles. Id be on the phone, you got to vote for me [ barking ] and we were drinking in the bar, and dennis leery said i bet you cant steal that bus . I can drive anything. There were three buses lined up. I got in the middle one. Jimmy this is the city bus . Yeah. And i smashed it in the front, smashed it in the back. Another 50 says you cant get it out of the yard. 200 says you cant drive it down the tunnel. Needless to say, it was scratched up. I picked up some elderly people and told them i was running for mayor before a police chase ensued. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then i pulled the bus over, were blocked Something Like this, the cops couldnt get around. And i went to this Football Party with 150 witnesses. They knew i did it, but they couldnt prove it. [ applause ] jimmy you just left the bus . Yeah, i left the bus there. No cell phones back then, you can do everything. Someone said, that wasnt me. Jimmy you would have made some mayor. That would have been unbelievable. Oh, yeah, yeah. Jimmy but your political careers over . Theres no more, nothing . I decided i was going to run against joe kennedy for congress after a while. I said to my dad, dad, im going to run against joe kennedy for congress. He says you cant do that, the kennedys, they murder people and still get elected. I said okay, maybe ill move to l. A. And become a standup. He said you might be able to beat that kennedy kid. Jimmy dad did not want you coming out here. Dad did not want me coming out. Every now and then, a bus will go by, lenny, you want to drive . No. Jimmy so youre doing some standup shows in saugus. The comedy crowds, are they friendly to you in your hometown . Theyre great, jimmy, but boston is such a comedy town. If you are having an off night, you suck the other guys better than you. So youve got to be on your agame every single night, which is why we have so many great comics come out of that town. Jimmy you think thats why, because everybodys tough on them. They will not accept anything less than a perfect set. I love you, jimmy. Im not your kid. Im a big boy. I opened for aerosmith. Jimmy oh, you did . What year is this . Oh, god, this is 35 years ago. I didnt know who they were. They were a big rock, because i was into disco. Because if you could dance, you could get laid, and i could dance. So i was really into the disco, and these guys would come see me. And the fact that i didnt know them made them love me even more, and they invited me to open for them. And i go into the theater, and i go to the people, theres a comedian on tonight, were going to kick his ass. This doesnt sound good. A stagehand says you dont go in, you go through the artist, i said im not an artist. You are tonight. They had lights, you couldnt see. They had bottles you could throw. Somebody hit my in the nuts with milk duds. Jimmy did you come back tomorrow night . Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Then, then they asked me to go to japan with them. I said oh, no, i got some stuff i got to do. Jimmy you didnt want to go to japan. When i was fat, the japanese kind of looked at me like i was godzilla. I talked to japanese women, no, no. I was in guam on an elevator, and this woman gets on with an a little baby, and she lights up the smoke and smoke in the elevator, and the little kid goes, look, mommy, giant, and she takes the cigarette out, hes not a giant, hes just fat jimmy whoever threw that milk dud must have had a laser. I think was a pitcher for the sox. When i was running against kennedy, we had Bumper Stickers, [ bleep ] kennedy. Jimmy that was a Bumper Sticker . Theyre still out there on ebay. Yeah, and, you know, when i lost all the weight, you know, when i lost, the first 100 pounds i lost with weightwatchers. I was the only guy, and the women looking at me like im some weirdo. I lose 100 pounds, and i think im going to be the male spokesman. And they gave it to charles barkley, who i love. And i said hes famous, i understand. But then oprah bought the company, and i said im in, i did oprah. I didnt have sex with her, but i did the show. I lost 80 pounds on my own, then i wanted to get under 200. So i did this thing, fat loss, it was a scientific thing with drops and you had to be like a chemist, but i worked. I lost like 27 pounds in 37 days and now im here. Jimmy you look great. Lenny clarke everybody. You can see lenny clarke live at Giggles Comedy Club in saugus massachusetts july 19th and 20th. And well return with music from offset with cardi b. [cheers and applause] dicky the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is presented by the all new amg four door kooufrp dicky the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Jimmy id like to thank senator Kamala Harris and lenny clarke. Apologies to matt damon we ran out of time for him. Nightline is next. But first this is his album, father of four. The song is called clout. Here with help from cardi b, offset [cheers and applause] straight out the streets to a penthouse miami beach [ bleep ] talk crazy on tweets they dont want it cause i come to defeat i peep these [ bleep ] all sweet bamboo sticks all in the jeep theres a new weirdo every week get the whip put it up for my seats no cure for the ig disease do anything for clout they do anything for clout do anything for clout they do anything for clout do anything for clout woo, woo they do anything for clout do anything for clout [ bleep ] watch your mouth [ bleep ] stay in your place [ bleep ] get out the way my [ bleep ] on your ass kim k no disrespect the [ bleep ] be tripping but we love ye swapping our cars with my [ bleep ] i bought her the lambo she bought me the wraith practice, practice practice make perfect [ bleep ] its never too late i took the ssss outta the snake then i take the bills up out of the bank the blog and the media fake shorty dm me im straight im not gon bite on the bait sippin on toxic waste on the low with your [ bleep ] and its great mask on her face jason run to the set we in shape if i go broke she gon leave escape i put two mill in the safe just in case dont go my way my kids gotta have money not just me thats selfish oh, i took the crown off the king like mike did elvis ooh, the world is wild he dying dont lie that dont help him ooh your [ bleep ] want to eat up the drip and you cannot help it straight out the streets to a penthouse miami beach [ bleep ] talk crazy on tweets they dont want it cause i come to defeat i peep these [ bleep ] all sweet bamboo sticks all in the jeep theres a new weirdo every week get the whip put it up for my seats no cure for the ig disease do anything for clout they do anything for clout do anything for clout they do anything for clout do anything for clout woo, woo they do anything for clout do anything for clout look, whole lotta people need to hear this its a lotta names on my hit list mouth still say what it wants to [ bleep ] still wet like a big [ bleep ] i should run a whole blog at this rate they using my name for clickbait [ bleep ] even wanna start fake beef to sell their little weave and a mixtape they know im the bomb they ticking me off saying anything to get a response i know that mean they traffic is low Somebody Just gotta practice to launch so [ bleep ] being tamed id rather be wild [ bleep ] is brandy they wanna be down soon as these bitches got something to sell they say my name say my name Destiny Child everybody wanna be lit everybody wanna be rich everybody wanna be this if i was you id hate me [ bleep ] free my primes [ bleep ] suck my [ bleep ] all of that talk and im calling it out ts a check then you gotta bounce i got the drip come get an ounce they do anything for clout do anything for clout [ bleep ] is mad [ bleep ] is trash oscar the grouch seeing me win they gotta hurt ooh, ooh, ouch said when they see me what they gon do [ bleep ] not from the couch bah do anything for clout they do anything for clout do anything for clout they do anything for clout do anything for clout woo, woo they do anything for clout do anything for clout this is nightline. Tonight, race to escape. Theres a baby in there. The fiery runway wreck. New video of nascar legend Dale Earnhardt jr. With baby on board fleeing his burning plane after it bounced, skidded and burst into flames. The latest investigation in a scary summer in the skies. Plus, megamansion marketing. If these walls could talk. I have put my own mark on the place. Theyd sound just like Michael Douglas and say buy me. Castles, palaces and villas for its a buyers market maybe theres a 15 Million Dollar steal . And, gift of friendship. The best birthday pres