Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20170929

Hi, everyone. Welcome. Thank you. Im jimmy, im the host of the show. Thank you for watching. Thanks to all of you for coming. You know, i walk out here every night and i introduce myself for people watching who are drunk or have never seen the show. But i had a funny thing happen last night. Delivery guy comes to my door, he hands me a bag of food. I eat my food out of a bag like a horse. And he sees me and goes, hey, youre the guy from the tv show. I said, yeah. He said, Johnny Carson [ laughter ] yep, Johnny Carson. Then he left. You know, i do sometimes get confused with the host of the tonight show but its usually jimmy fallon because we have the same first name, and because hes alive. [ laughter ] speaking of deliveries, congratulations are in order for Khloe Kardashian who reportedly has a baby in her. The father of the baby thats where they go, i guess. [ laughter ] is said to be her boyfriend, Tristan Thompson of the cleveland cavaliers. Khloe isnt the only one in the family expecting. Her younger sister kylie is pregnant, her older sister kim is having a baby with a surrogate. Its interesting, right . Three major hurricanes this the month. [ laughter ] three new kardashians. There has to be a connection. Of course no one is more excited than grandma kris jenner. [ applause ] who is about to sign three new clients. [ laughter ] you know, i have to say, trying to keep up with President Trump every day has made me appreciate how easy it was to keep up with the kardashians. [ laughter ] i mean, they get married, they break up, they find a new rapper or basketball player, they have a kid, they post it to instagram. Its very straightforward. Not only are the Kardashian Jenners excited about the arrival of the new children, theyre also excited about their new show. For ten years youve been keeping up with the kardashians. I do my makeup so fast, im just not feeling myself. Your lips look amazing. You watched courtney and kim take miami. Then courtney and kim take new york. Life i kylie. Revenge body with Khloe Kardashian. Now executive producer Ryan Seacrest brings you just what youve been expecting. Its so hot in here peeking up the kardashians. I literally cant even. Omg, i already have 4 million instagram followers. The first show shot in utero. Bdoes this umbilical cord mae me look fat . On e following the real zygotes of new jersey. Jimmy id watch both of those. [ cheers and applause ] time goes so fast, before you know it theyll be all grown up and hosting flavored vodka parties like mom and dad. Im not sure if this is cause for a vodka party or not. But russia and the United States with all thats happening between us right now have announced an agreement to team up to build a space station on the moon. Although i should say the russians are calling the space station, for some reason the white house keeps referring to it as a golf resort casino. [ laughter ] i guess russia, the reason theyre doing this, because russia wants to be the first country to interfere with an election on the moon. [ laughter ] and i wish them well. Im sure the russians love this. The president yesterday lashed out at facebook of all things for being antitrump. Which forced mark zuckerberg, the ceo of facebook, to defend his company. He said, every day i work to bring people together and build a community for everyone. And thats right, if this election has taught us anything, its that facebook really brings people together. [ laughter ] zuckerberg did admit facebook does bear some responsibility for all the fake news that abetted the Trump Campaign during the election but he insists overall facebook gave ordinary people a voice to help millions of people learn how to vote. Right . Facebook helps democracy the same way hurricanes help us water our lawns. [ laughter ] okay . Between the russians and all our uncles, facebook is the most dangerous place on earth. President trump right now, as im sure you know, is in an ongoing fight with the nfl. He called for players who kneel during the National Anthem to be suspended or fired. Says the nfl should change their rules to prevent it from happening. Insinuated that team owners arent doing anything about it because theyre scared. What prompted that in alabama . Well, i have so many friends that are owners. And theyre in a box. Ive spoken to a couple of them. They say, we are in a situation where we have to do something. I think theyre afraid of their players, you want to know the truth. I think its disgraceful. Jimmy well, yeah, that is disgraceful. But obviously theres a racial subtext here, besides the fact that there are so many more important things for him to be worried about right now, there was a demonstration. I dont know if you saw this, right outside our studio, protesters staged what they called a diein to send the president a message. From the football field all the way to the hollywood walk of fame, these antifascism protesters felt they had to show solidarity with nfl players. The protesters also held a diein on trumps star, laying motionless on the pavement to draw attention. Catching the eyes of curious passersbies who wondered what was going on. Jimmy mr. Squarepants declined to comment. [ laughter ] im sure you know by now hugh hefner passed away yesterday at home at the playboy mansion. He was pronounced dead of natural causes. Although they wont be able to rule out foul play because of all the dna evidence they found in the house. [ laughter ] it might take 20 years. I was thinking it last night. Hugh hefner is probably the only person ever to be disappointed by heaven. [ laughter ] whats with all these harps . Lets get some naked girls in here hef was 91. Interesting fact about hugh hefner. Actually didnt lose his virginity until he was 78 years old, did you know that . [ laughter ] mr. Hefner was an advocate for racial equality, free speech, and equal rights. But mostly hell be remembered for the boobs. I knew hugh hefner. Of all his achievements, and there were many, maybe the greatest of all was he figured out a way to wear pajamas to work every day. [ laughter ] for that i really have to give him a lot of credit. [ cheers and applause ] our local cbs affiliates, our news crews are on hollywood boulevard. Cbs was on Hollywood Bld when news broke about hugh hefners star on the walk of fame. There are so many perspectives on hollywood boulevard and the walk of fame about his legacy as you take a look at his star. Many people say, of course, he did so much for culture. He blazed trails [ laughter ] jimmy thats how i want to be remembered, too. With a banana, a puddle of jelly, and a hot dog sitting on the side like a fourth grader dropped his lunch box. This is interesting. Hef will be buried next to his firstever cover girl, marilyn monroe. This is where he will be interred. I guess the spot under her is already taken. So he decided hed just be so the side. With hugh hefner gone, theyre engaged in the very difficult job of naming his successor. And with more on that we join cnn live new from the playboy mansion. And we are still waiting for any sign from the mansion. Hold on just a second. I think we see yes, it appears to be white smoke. This means the bunnies have chosen their new leader. Wait, we see a figure emerging onto the balcony. And its charlie sheen. Charlie sheen is the new mayor of penistown. [ applause ] jimmy i think were in very good hands. Times have changed a lot since every young man had a playboy under his mattress. We came up with a game to highlight that. Contestants are farther apart in age than hugh hefner of his girlfriends. Its a battle of young versus old. Its time to play generation gap. [ cheers and applause ] cousin sal out on hollywood boulevard, how are you doing . Sal whats going on . Jimmy doing well, nothings going on, were doing the show in here, how about you . Sal yeah, were going to take it out here, right . Jimmy great, lets meet our contestants. First our defending champion, hes lean, hes mean, hes 14, say hello to traverse. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how are you doing . Good, how are you . Jimmy traverse, do you think you have what it takes to win it all again . Definitely. Jimmy did you ever look at a Playboy Magazine . No. Jimmy you did not . No. Jimmy lets see if he turns red. Okay, hes not. Traverse, tonight you will be going up against bella. Welcome, bella, hello. [ cheers and applause ] hi. Jimmy bella, did you ever look at a Playboy Magazine . Of course. Jimmy bella, if you dont mind me asking, what is your age . 82. Jimmy 82 years old. 14 versus 82. Thats why we call it generation gap. Bella, i know youre still you work at cantors delli . I sure do. Jimmy ive seen you there, where the black and white cookies are . All over. Jimmy okay, veg. This is how the game works. Im going to ask each of you a question from your opponents generation or close to it. Whoever gets the most answers right wins. Does it sound good . Yeah. Jimmy all right, traverse, youre defending your title, you get to go first. Traverse what does wwii stand for . World war ii. Jimmy is that right, traverse. Thats how it goes. Now you get an idea how the game works. Lets do one more question before we take a break. Bella, which superhero did this actress play . See her on the screen. There she is. She looks asian. Jimmy she is not asian. Oh, okay. Jimmy shes israeli, actually. Then it would have been superwoman. Jimmy superwoman is incorrect. Do you know, traverse, can you steal and guess who the which superhero she played . Thats gal gadot and she played wonder woman. Jimmy that is absolutely right. Traverse has a strong lead. Were going to take a break. When we come back, well play more generation gap so stick around. [ cheers and applause ] raz, where are you . Guys. Im trapped, my boss wants me here. We are not leaving without you. Just go downstairs now. Rapunzel . look for my chr. That was fun. Wait till you see where were going. Introducing an allnew crossover. Toyota chr. Toyota. Lets go places. Its not a phone. Like it doesnt have buttons or a screen but you can use it to make phone calls to pretty much anyone. So you can ask it to call your mom or call your brother or you can be like, hey google, call that Sandwich Shop on pierce street. And itll be like, okay, calling ginos [ringing] ginos deli see and you get ginos on the phone. Lady you gotta stop doing this unless youre gonna order something. No, i get it. Thats fair, thats fair. Im going on a target run. You need anything . Toilet paper. Cereal. Maybe some chew toys. Got it. Get new lower prices on thousands of items. Target run and done. Hey. What can you tell me about your new Social Security alerts . Oh well alert you if we find your Social Security number on any one of thousands of risky sites, so youll be in the know. Ooh. Sushi. Ugh. Being in the know is a good thing. Sign up online for free. Discover Social Security alerts. Whoo testis this thing on . huh . Cmon your turn mmmm. Where do pencils go on vacation . loud speaker pencilvania pencilvania laughing frosted just right. Crunch in every bite. Kelloggs frosted miniwheats. Thisll be the real deal oh yeah thisll be the real deal im going on a target run. You need anything . Toilet paper. Cereal. Maybe some chew toys. Got it. Get new lower prices on thousands of items. Target run and done. Wiback like it could used to . Neutrogena hydro boost water gel. With hyaluronic acid it plumps skin cells with intense hydration and locks it in. For supple, hydrated skin. Hydro boost. From neutrogena jimmy welcome back to the show. David muir and music from the xx is on the way. Im looking around the audience, some of the leastrhythmic clappers ive seen in my life, this is unbelievable. [ laughter ] right now we have a Senior Citizen and a High School Freshman outside on the street. Its traverse versus bella. The score is traverse 20, bella 0. Bella, how are you feeling right now . Could be better. Jimmy okay, but youre going to get back in the game. I just know it. Were going to start with traverse. Sal jimmy, real quick. Bella, during a commercial, was showing us pictures of her in the grotto in the 50s, unbelievable. Jimmy you were in the grotto with hugh hefner . Sal just go with it. Jimmy never mind. [ laughter ] traverse, this is a question from bellas generation. Name two newspapers. New york times. And l. A. Times. Jimmy thats very good traverse. You have a 300 lead. Bella. Name two websites. Oh, i im not into websites. You dont know any websites . No, i dont. Jimmy nothing . Oh. Well. How about give itatry. Com huh, bella . [ cheers and applause ] how about not . Jimmy how about helpmeoutimdyinghere. Net, bella . All right, next question is for bella. Finish the title of this Kendrick Lamar album. To pimp a blank. No. Jimmy any guess . Ill say ill just take a crazy, to pimp a bitch . [ rim shot, rim shot ] [ cheers and applause ] sal im going to give her credit. Jimmy lets give her credit anyway. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy traverse, we go now to you. Finish the title of this gregory peck movie. To kill a . Mockingbird. Jimmy that is right, traverse, wow. Traverse has what you call one of those old souls, i guess. Traverse, what number comes after the magnificent 7. Jimmy 7 is right, traverse. Bella what number comes after maroon . Maroon 5. Jimmy thats right, bella [ cheers and applause ] jimmy that one was too easy for you, it seems. Yeah. Jimmy yeah, all right. Bellas on a roll now. What is the name of this car . This car on the video screen. What is the name . It looks like a cartoon. Jimmy it is a cartoon. I it looks like a cartoon. They have them at the chevy stations. I see it but i cant say it. Jimmy ill give you a hint, its Lightning Mcqueen. Yes, its Lightning Mcqueen thats right [ cheers and applause ] thank you. I need all your help. Jimmy traverse, what is the name of this car . Is that a racing car, im assuming . Jimmy it was from a movie, a famous movie car. Is that from like le mans . Jimmy it is not from le mans, no. Then i have no idea. Jimmy bella, do you know the name of that car . Looks like a volkswagen. Jimmy all right, thats close enough. Were looking for herbie the love bug. But lets give that one to her anyway. It is a volkswagen. Traverse, who performed the 1987 hit song bad . Whats the song name . Jimmy bad, bad, bad. Michael jackson . Jimmy that is right, michael jackson. Bella, who did the 2017 hit bad and bujie . Uh sal come on you know this. Its up there but it wont come out. Jimmy right, yeah. Is it really up there . [ laughter ] i feel like it isnt up there. Im shaking it. Jimmy in this case, i dont think its up there. Traverse, do you want to try to steal . I kind of want to try but i know my friends at my school are going to get so mad if i get this wrong. Jimmy what is it . Kendrick lamar . Jimmy no, wow, neither one of you knew that, migos was the answer. Is that what you had in your head, bella . No. [ laughter ] jimmy all right. Lets go with one more question. For bella. Finish this rappers nickname. Chance the blank. Chance the blank. Hes a rapper. Oh. Lamar . [ laughter ] jimmy chance the lamar is incorrect. Traverse, do you know the answer . Chance the rapper. Jimmy chance the rapper is the answer, thats right. [ cheers and applause ] congratulations, traverse, you are the winner tonight. But you each get a prize. Bella, you get a brandnew fitbit. That goes right on your wrist. [ cheers and applause ] and traverse, to make sure you live as long as bella, you get a medicine ball. All right . Congratulations and thanks for playing generation gap. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy all right, were going to take a break now. Wow, that game got pretty heated there. [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight, music from the xx, david muir is here, and well be right back with kaley cuoco so stick around [ cheers and applause ] dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by the middle earth shadow of war video game. In stores october 10th. Shadowofwar. Com. Not a yes sir, not a follower [thunder by imagine dragons] fit the box, fit the mold have a seat in the foyer, take a number i was lightning before the thunder lightning and the thunder thunder, feel the thunder lightning and the thunder thunder, thunder thunder thunder because everyone likes easy. Sure do. Because everyone is on the go. Because we all like to save energy, but sometimes we slip up. Reaching up. Ssssh because sometimes we want it cool at night, then toasty in the mornings. Introducing the easy to use, energy saving, adjustable from everywhere, easy on the wallet and the eyes, nest thermostat e. E is for everyone. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hi, welcome back to the show. Tonight, he is the anchorman of world news tonight with david muir. David muir is here. [ cheers and applause ] then, their album is called,i see you. The xx from the Mercedes Benz outdoor stage. You can see the xx live tomorrow night at the forum here in los angeles. I want to mention on sunday night. If you have hbo you can see me with larry david on the season premiere of curb your enthusiasm. [ cheers and applause ] thats one of my favorite shows. And i used to watch it and i would hope that one day larry would ask me to be on it. Then he did. And now so now i am. Its a great story. [ laughter ] were thinking about making it into a movie, by the way. Next week we have new shows for you. With ryan gosling, anthony anderson, robin wright, jeff bridges, alex rodriguez, mark consuelos, isla fisher, web sensation logan paul will be here. And we will have music from welshly arms, depeche mode, steve aoki featuring gucci mane, and 21 savage too. Please join us for all of that. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest tonight has spent more than a third of her life playing penny on the mostwatched comedy show in the United States, the Big Bang Theory airs monday nights on cbs. Please welcome kaley cuoco. [ cheers and applause ] hi jimmy very good to see you. Thank you, its good to see you. Jimmy youre back to work now . Yes. Jimmy on the show . Season 11. Jimmy season 11 of the show. Crazy. Jimmy did you get a lot do you get the whole summer off . The whole summer off. Done some traveling, more traveling than i ever have. Jimmy where did you go . We were talking about we were traveling australia. And karl for some reason, my boyfriend, ends up getting the pat down every time we go through security. Jimmy he asks for it . [ laughter ] no, he didnt. Every single time. He goes through, beep, every time. Hes so unassuming. Theres no reason why he should be getting a pat down. Jimmy yet thats exactly why he should be getting patted down. I agree. Theyre doing the whole thing, hes getting all felt ul and everything and im laughing. Its happened every time. The most recent travel, i walk the in and he goes, okay, something bads going to happen, i know something bads going to happen. No, its going to be fine. He goes through, beep. Were going to australia, youve got to get patted down. The lady goes, whose bag is this . Its my purse. Im like, its my bag, thinking im going to get a compliment on my purse. She goes, we need to look through your bag. Im like, its gucci. Shes like, no, we need to look through your bag. Go ahead. She pulls out a wine opener out of my purse. And i was like jimmy like a full with arms like the arms one, like a rabbit. And i was like, oh my god thats like a weapon [ laughter ] jimmy that is. Im kind of laughing. Karls been taken to another room at this point, i dont know where he is, getting fully like he has no clothes on at this point. Im like, this is so crazy. Im so sorry, like i just always have i dont know why i carry wine opener. In my big bag i have all these little bags. She goes, we need to search the rest of the bags. Yeah, yeah. She takes out my makeup bag. I go, shes not going to find anything in there. I had a second wine opener in my makeup bag, i swear. A tiny one. Somehow subconsciously i stuck it in there. Jimmy really. She like takes it out. Oh my god, im going to be on a nofly list. Somethings going to happen to me. She goes, you cant have these on the plane. Im like, i know. Heres the thing. I just like alcohol. [ laughter ] and apparently i needed to be very prepared. But like i had the full one. Jimmy yeah. With the arms and the spike. Jimmy how did that get in there . I dont know but im always quite prepare sdpld like vacationing with kathie lee and hoda with you. They really know what theyre doing. Jimmy those things break a lot, its good to have a backup. Apparently you cant fly with them. Jimmy are you a big drinker in general . Huge drinker, huge. Jimmy do you drink on the plane . Love to drink on the plane. Its the best time. I dont have to fly, i just sit there. Dont have to drive wrrt best time to get on there, have a couple of sips. Im into bourbon now. Im not allowed to carry a wine opener so i can just take the bourbon top off, click, easy. Easy. Jimmy thats convenient. Very convenient. But thats why im enjoying the flying thing. Jimmy because youre drunk. I can pass out. Everyone is like so less annoying when i get to that point. That drinking point. Everyones great. Jimmy thats interesting. Because i always find that people are drinking around me, they become much more annoying. They do . Jimmy yeah, maybe youre just notes. Ing i dont know. Jimmy youve been more annoys than they are. [ laughter ] im like, everythings great i think its great jimmy these people are boring im starting to question a lot things now. Jimmy im glad we had this talk, i really am. Every time im on a plane it seems like Big Bang Theory is on a plane. It is. Jimmy is that uncomfortable for you . Do you ever do this when youre flying . You have your own little tv but you find yourself watching the other tvs. Jimmy always. Why do we do that . Jimmy i dont know. Its constantly big bang. I find myself, i hate the sound of my voice, so i like to watch it that way. I can see it, see whats going on, check out how i looked, but i dont have to hear anything. But ive been caught a couple of times. Im like, hey thank you good i dont have to hear it. Jimmy you kind of have to do that. You do. Jimmy they know they might 12 be watching it because youre there, to make some kind of a connection. Its weird. It shows that people love to watch our show on the plane. Jimmy it is a good people love to watch it, its very popular in general. It makes sense they would be also watching it on the plane. It works for us because youre kind of forced. What can you do . You have to watch it. You cant jump off the plane if you hate the. Youve got to stay in it, watch it and commit. Jimmy these are great tips. Great traveling tips that you get. Foilsed upon you. Jimmy number one, get your wine opener. Get as drunk as possible. Were going to take a break. Kaley cuoco is with us [ cheers and applause ] steal the spotlight in the new stevie. Right now, get up to 50 off all pants and jeans at old navy. Grooves in your sandwich . Do you always put cheezit of course theyre chips. Chips. Plus sandwich equals the perfect lunch. Ooooh. Dont forget the pickle. Its kind of a big dill. Cheezit grooves. Chips made with 100 real cheese. Dang right its a chip what twisted ankle . Ask what muscle strain . Advil makes pain a distant memory nothing works faster stronger or longer what pain . Advil. Im going on a target run. You need anything . Its about time they gave left and right twix® their own packs. They got about as much in common as you, a mortician, and me, an undertaker. chuckling or you, a janitor, and me, a custodian. laughing or you, a ghost, and me, a spirit. laughing left and right twix® packs. Its time to deside. Mr. Hey, i thought you were coming right back. I was but were both depressed and decided to drown our sorrows. In mouthwash . Man, that is so summer camp. Jimmy that is kaley cuoco, season 11 of the Big Bang Theory. Which is on monday night. Season 11. Last time you were here, about a year ago, you were saying you didnt know if you were going to come back. Really didnt know. Jimmy what happened . I think i told you it was an expensive question. Jimmy you did say that. Were back, two years. [ cheers and applause ] were thrilled. Jimmy so now you guys have been on a long team. I know is there like i know you guys will buy gifts for the crew at christmas time or whenever. Is there a competition between the stars of the show as to who buys the best item . Well, its gotten tough. Season 1, we all excited to be there, we wanted to go huge. The problem is up to now, 11, were trying to top what we do every single year. Jimmy right. Its getting a little bit more difficult. Hike this year, i dont know, do we buy everyone a house . We didnt know what to like cars . Like amazon gift cards are not doing it anymore. Jimmy right, yeah. We have to step it up. Jimmy what were as a matter of fact past gifts that you had . You know what we did recently, from being on your show, we raced around in the suitcases, the moto bags. The motorized suitcases. We did those for crew gifts. Its hysterical. Jimmy do they like them . I see it a lot, a crew member driving their suitcase on the lot. They love it. Jimmy people are commuting with those. Theyre filled with bottle openers . Mine is, yeah. Mine definitely is. Mine has to be checked. Jimmy you posted something on instagram that caught my eye. Id like to put it up on the screen. This is its a video here. Theres you and your dog. The swing. Jimmy on a swing that is is that inside the house . Thats in my house . Thats what i thought. Well, its so funny. I kind of like weird stuff. Jimmy uhhuh. And i september an email to my interior deck decorator. Jimmy and its going to go on forever, yeah. I sent an email to my decorator what do you think, i know this is crazy, what do you think about having a swing in my house . Thats all i wrote. He didnt respond for a while. And i was like, i just thought it was such a cool idea. Later he sent me a text, im sorry, what kind of swing are you talking about . Are you thinking like in the bedroom . [ laughter ] he thought it was a sex swing. Im like, no, i want the normal living room swing like everyone wants. Hes like, okay, less crazy but still crazy. But i really wanted to be able to like swing while i watched tv. It was like this weird thought. Jimmy in place of a couch . Yeah. Jimmy really . Yeah. Jimmy thats a very good idea, i think. We put it in there, its so awesome. People come over and theyre like, they want to sit on the swing. Jimmy sure. The funniest part is my dogs have taken it over. Its the most expensive dog bed ive ever bought. But it hangs from the ceiling and i hope my ceiling doesnt come down one day, crash on my head. Jimmy i would assume you got it professionally installed. I did it myself. Tied it up there. No, i had a wunsch of guys. So funny, construction guys standing there, how the hell are we going to hang this thing . At the manicurist you feel like everyones talking about you, youre getting your nails done and theyre making fun of you . Jimmy i havent had this experience. Thats what i feel is happening with the guys in my house working on my furniture. No, kaley. Do you believe this . Shes putting a frickin thing in her ceiling they were sxheetly thinking i was out of my mind. I thought it looked great. Jimmy its a weird idea but its kind of a great idea. Dont you want one now . Jimmy yeah, i would. Im going to it would be great if we had swinging furniture, can we do that . [ cheers and applause ] you may have revolutionized the talk show. Years from now people will look back at this moment, yeah, thats when all talk shows started having swings. [ laughter ] thats so true. Jimmy its very good to see you. Thank you. Jimmy have fun on the swing. Thank you. Jimmy kaley cuoco, everybody. The Big Bang Theory monday nights on cbs. Be right back with david muir with 33 individual vertebrae and 640 muscles in the human body no two of us are alike. Life made more effortless through adaptability. The perfect position seat in the lincoln continental. Watch this watch this watch this watch this kohls lowest prices of the season prices so low, no coupons needed get womens tops just 14. 99 plush throws only 9. 99 and kitchen electrics are just 4. 99 after rebate plus get kohls cash wednesday through sunday only at kohls except for every ladies night. Vegetarian. Only glad has forceflex to prevent rips, leaks, and punctures. So whatever you throw in the bag. Stays in the bag. Be happy, its glad. Steal the spotlight in the new stevie. Right now, get up to 50 off all pants and jeans at old navy. New charmin ultra soft its softer than ever. New charmin ultra soft is softer than ever. So its harder to resist. Okay, this is getting a little weird. Enjoy the go with charmin not a yes sir, not a follower [thunder by imagine dragons] fit the box, fit the mold have a seat in the foyer, take a number i was lightning before the thunder lightning and the thunder thunder, feel the thunder lightning and the thunder thunder, thunder thunder thunder my bladder leakage was making me feel like i couldnt spend time with my grandson. Now depend fitflex has their fastest absorbing material inside, so it keeps me dry and protected. Go to depend. Com get a coupon and try them for yourself. Im going on a target run. You need anything . Toilet paper. Cereal. Maybe some chew toys. Got it. Get new lower prices on thousands of items. Target run and done. Jimmy welcome back. Still to come, music from the xx. Our next guest hasnt seen a single slow news day in two years. He is the anchor of world news tonight with david muir, now the most watched Network Evening news in america. Watch it weeknights on abc. Please welcome david muir. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i know this is a dumb thing. But its always amazing to me that you go do the news, then youre here like after, like that anything else happens outside of that. We try to make sure, which hasnt been easy, to have a slow news night. Jimmy its true, right . The way its worked out is youve been on my show more than ive been on your show lately. Jimmy oh, is that right. [ laughter ] let me make up for that tonight. If youre on my show, unless youre a guest, its usually for not the best reasons. So thats probably good. Ill take it. Let me say one thing about you being on the news lately. We live in a polarized country, a divided nation. People are going to agree and disagree with you and i knew you knew that going in. Looking back people arent going to remember the jokes you told here, no offense, but they will remember the bravery, that you stood up for your little guy and Childrens Health care. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats very nice. And i appreciate it. But i think theyre also going to remember girls on trampolines. Id like that to be my legacy as well. I like to balance these that one. Jimmy you were mentioning, talking about the news, do you find because for us sometimes we have the show all ready, and Stephen Colbert was here, he has the same situation, you scrap the whole show because things change so quickly. Literally an hour before air. Every single night. Jimmy why do you think that is . Well, why do you think that is . [ laughter ] do you like that . How we just you should just wait until the news airs, i can give you all the material you need. Honestly, we come in every morning and work in the newsroom, we have meetings, i dont know why. I do like the people i work with. The meeting at 10 00 a. M. , 1 00 p. M. , 3 00 p. M. , is not the news cast we end up doing because the news is lightning speed and every day theres breaking news. Its hard to believe a year ago this week, the first debate between donald trump and hillary clinton. Doesnt that feel like a decade ago . Jimmy it sure does. Weve lived a lifetime. Jimmy that was a year ago . That was just a year ago. Jimmy oh my god, were in for a long four years. [ laughter ] that is crazy. How do you decide how many story dozen you do in a night . We do quite a few. The first block is usually about 16, 17 minutes long. And its no joke, we do scrap it about an hour before air and were hammering out intros and the scripts from the correspondents and its a team effort. The reporters and we have an amazing team that covered the campaign, now the administration. But eight or nine indepth stories in the first block. Then a second, third, and fourth block. And i always say that at the beginning of the show, in the last couple of weeks as you know, health care, north korea, natural disasters. Now we have a debate over the nfl. Its sort of a lot to. It on americans plate, i think. I feel for them at night watching. And i try to signal in some way we are in it together and well do it all again tomorrow night. Jimmy one thing we like as americans is to have a lot on our plate. [ laughter ] and then nothing at the end meal. Thats right. Jimmy thats really what were best at. It is. Jimmy so, okay. So youre doing how long have you been in news, in general . Listen, for real 13 years old. Jimmy 13 years old . I began interning at the local station. I wrote to the news guy and started carrying the tripod and ripping the scripts. And then landed that was my first job after college. Jimmy world nuts ton is the Number One Network news show. How long has it been since abc was number one . Hey i have no idea what youre talking about. 21 years since Peter Jennings. Jimmy who was your idol . Was my idol, yeah. Jimmy this photograph was taken when you were how old . This is my first year on the job at abc. I was so proud to work with peter. Youd have to walk past this bus stop on the way in. Ill never forget it. They have a standby guy. When peter finishes, have a good evening, good night. He sits there. They call me down to the edit room. Im the standby guy for peter if theres breaking news. They call me down. Im watching this. You see him say, have a good evening, good night. He goes, i dont know why we did this, critiquing the show. You can hear the floor director michelle say who the standby guy is. Who . They say, david. David who . They start laughing. They wanted to put me in my place, he had no idea. Without looking up he goes, hes the chap on the overnights, hes quite good. I still have that on loop in my office. [ laughter ] honestly it was an honor to walk in the door. Peter jennings, diane sawyer, barbara walters, ted koppel. Jimmy sam son donaldson. Amazing at the white house, and our team, like him all those years later they ask those tough questions. The first call from Peter Jennings in the field, i was covering a natural disaster, they said peters on the line . I said, peter who . Jimmy you got him back. No. When i got on the phone i knew. Jimmy oh, ive seen him on the overnights, hes very good. [ laughter ] speaking of being in the field you were in florida during the hurricane. Why were you there . Isnt there a weatherman nobody likes you can send to those jobs [ laughter ] unfortunately we really like to intern. Weve had a lot this year. Jimmy yeah. This reminds me of katrina. I was in the superdome. I remember the roof peeling off, families there with their glad garbage bags full of the belongings they could take ow their homes in time. Katrina, right tax wilma. This year 15 with this succession of hurricanes. You mention irma. Puerto rico, we had an amazing team there. One night in particular, we were headed into the keys, all of a sudden we see this barricade. They were stopping all these families who didnt know if their house was still standing, a lot of them had families still there in the keys, and they would not give. I thought, we cant get any further, pull the truck over, well do the newscast at this intersection. That night you could see the lights behind us. The anguish in the faces of the families. We stayed there overnight to get in the next day and go down and take that route with the families. Jimmy the govern evers on television telling everyone, you must evacuate now. And you guys are head to headed into the hurricane. Yeah. Jimmy thats a bad message. [ laughter ] its a bad message to send, yeah. Jimmy evacuate now unless youre part of a network news team, then go right in there. Yeah. Im on to something now. Isnt there a weather guy you dont like . Maybe ive figured it out. Isnt there an anchor we dont like . [ laughter ] jimmy find out whos that young david muir eyeing your spot. [ applause ] send him out. Its very good to see you. Congratulations on how well the show is doing. [ cheers and applause ] world news tonight with david muir airs weeknights on abc. Be right back with the xx [ cheers and applause ] dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. At Stanford Health care, we can now use a blood sample to detect lung cancer. If we can do that, imagine what we can do for asthma. And if we can stop seizures in epilepsy patients with a small pacemaker for the brain, imagine what we can do for multiple sclerosis, even migraines. If we can use patients genes to predict Heart Disease in their families, imagine what we can do for the conditions that affect us all. Imagine what we can do for you. Imagine what we can do for the conditions that affect us all. Dilike, outside dirt,. Thats not a bad thing. Also, it comes off. Inside dirt, yeah. Thats way different. But now theres a more powerful chevron with techron. Yeah. It has even more cleaning power to clean up deposits left by low quality gas. And cleaning up deposits restores lost gas mileage. Its legit. Now with more cleaning power. Chevron with techron. Care for your car. Nice hat dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Jimmy thanks to kaley cuoco, david muir. Apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time for him. Nightline is next. But first their album is called i see you. Here with the song dangerous, the xx they say were in danger but i disagree if proven wrong shame on me but youve had faith in me so i wont shy away should it all fall down youll have been my favorite mistake they say you are dangerous pd that im not scared if this only ends in tears then i wont say goodbye cause i couldnt care less if they call us reckless until they are breathless they must be blind there are voices raining over they keep saying danger danger i cant make them take you makes no difference no one can take this away should it all fall down ill treasure each day they say you are dangerous but i dont care im going to pretend that im not scared if this only ends in tears then i wont say goodbye cause i couldnt care less if they call us reckless until they are breathless they must be blind let them say there are warning signs they must be blind they must be blind they say if this only ends in tears then i wont say goodbye [ cheers and applause ] tonight on a special edition of nightline. You did it. They did it. Superman and oprah did it. Tonight the man behind the challenge. A star College Athlete faced with a devastating diagnosis. Pete says to doctor, how much money do you need to cure this thing . Inspiring a viral sensation. Its going to be in time so other people will never have to have this. With the love of his life by his side. Pete said to you, ill understand if you leave . Im pretty sure i told him to basically shut up. 220 million raised to fight a. L. S. Giving hope to those following in their footsteps. This special edition of nightline, beyond the bucket, will be right back. K