The Mercury provides news and fun every single day—but your help is essential. If you believe Portland benefits from smart, local journalism and arts coverage, please consider making a small monthly contribution, because without you, there is no us. Thanks for your support! GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! And ohhhhhhhhhh SHIT. Christmas is a mere 8 DAYS AWAY, and you're not nearly done with your gift shopping yet, are you? Well, do yourself and Baby Jesus a...