Unsuitable temperatures. Official hta guidance says. Bodies should be moved into frozen storage after 30 days in fridges or before, depending on the condition of the body. The the condition of the body. The hospitals criticised in the reports following inspections in 2022 and last year, said systems have since been improved and a new film about Donald Trumps rise to power in the 1980s has been picked up at the cannes film festival. Titled the apprentice. It stars Sebastian Stan as the young trump as he forges a deal with the influential right wing lawyer and fixer roy cohn, played by succession star jeremy strong. The film is due for release by studiocanal later this year. For the latest stories, sign up to gb news alerts by scanning the qr code on your screen or go to gb news. Com slash alerts. Now its gb news. Com slash alerts. Now wsfime gb news. Com slash alerts. Now its time for headliners. Its time for headliners. Hello and welcome to headliners. Im stephen allen. Its the show where comedians review the next days news for you. Tonight we have a man who is in mrs. Doubtfire, Scott Capurro. And a man who is such a sceptic he probably actually doubts fire. Its nick dixon. Yeah, its not real. Yeah, its not real. Yeah, its always said that its all. And i think that was an intro that was complimentary to both. Very rare on this show. Yeah. To answer that. Yeah. Its all right because youre nice guys. All right because youre nice guys. Yeah. And life going all guys. Yeah. And life going all right is it. Youre right. I guess bringing you dinner works it does. And the payment. Yeah. Obviously money. That too makes it sound like youre sort of at home, like a meals on Wheels Service that starts delivering it. Not going to be long at the way bringing you dinner. Life is going to take you some chicken. Take that as well. All right. Lets start with a quick look at the front pages. For friday. We go to the daily mail. First of all, dont betray our royal mail. Is their headline. The telegraph says labour tax rises as sure as night follows day, says hunt, a guardian. Ministers were warned guardian. Ministers were warned in 2021 about carer scandal. The in 2021 about carer scandal. The i says uks toxic water illegal sewage, parasites in taps and higher bills on the way express be warned taxes will go up under laboun be warned taxes will go up under labour, says hunt. And finally, the daily star. Bless you labour, says hunt. And finally, the daily star. Bless you fido, the daily star. Bless you fido, and those were your front pages. And those were your front pages. Lets make some sense of that ramble. Then we kick off with the express. Scott, what are the express. Scott, what are they going with. 7 well, first on the front page is a photo of the queen snatching flowers away from children who look terrified as shes making jokes about charles dying. Its quite hard to read, but anyway, theres another story about taxes will go up under labour, says hunt. The general election will be set out the key battleground for the general election will be set out today, when jeremy hunt warns of tax rises from labour, hes saying its going to get much worse if you elect them, that theyre all about taxing you, that weve been really gentle and mild, but its going to get real brutal if you let them in office. So the administration thats given us the highest tax burden since the second world war, saying that things are going to get bad now. Yes, yes, its going to get much worse. And interest rates, he says, worry about those two. Theyre quite high already. I cant see them getting any higher. But anyway, thats what he says, nick, your take on this, do you think hes actually the question should be this is this negative politics of heanng this negative politics of hearing just what the other side will do wrong rather than what we will do right. 7 its exactly that. And its pretty weak, isnt it, at this stage, when the tories are about to be obliterated as you say, highest tax since the 40s by some metrics. And its like but guess what. 7 its going to be even worse under labour. And theyre not wrong. Thats the disturbing thing. It will be even worse. Everything will be even worse. Everything will be even worse. Everything will be even worse. But thats such a terrible pitch. When your party terrible pitch. When your party is facing potential extinction, you need something a bit more, right. 7 hes saying its going to last for quite a while too, but then hes saying also, if their party is elected, the conservatives that the show, the brutal Economic Situation will last as well. So really theres no change under either party, which makes i think a lot of voters think that the parties are very similar. Yeah, theres a footballer here. It might be declan rice saying stars secret ingredient to batter opposition. Thats what actually the tories need a secret ingredient to batter the opposition. You know this is too opposition. You know this is too weak, right. 7 they certainly dont have that special sauce yet, do they . I mean, people people talk of the omni party. Theyre effectively the same. Theres very little difference between them. So actually a good fight is difficult to get. What are they going to get because rishi is so famously polite . I dont know why people dont like him so much. I dont have feelings for him either way, but he seems quite amicable in his own way and hes doing what he can with what hes been handed. Its just a terrible situation. The feeling is hes ineffective. And the tories current strategy is talk about getting rid of rishi sunak each week, then the next week go, no, were not going to bother. Not just cycles every single week. And they know, you know, that theyre sacrificing his position. Theyre just making a mistake because no one else will do it. And they know that keir is going to win, but i dont i dont have any feelings for starmer either. I dont youre right either. Neither one of them inspires. Yeah, but starmer is secret sauce is the lack of personality isnt it. Its been basically watch other people do things badly and then just sit there being the outline of a human stuffed shirt , though were stuffed shirt, though were talking about it later. But his new slogan is stability is change. I mean, thats the most starmer slogan possible. I was thinking about this is exciting. Yes, i was trying to think of how is that even possible on the way in, as you say. I know well talk about it later, but only if the Current Situation is instability is stability. Change yeah, thats his argument. That would change anyway because its unstable. Yeah. Unstable. Yeah. So i electing their party will is changed. Yeah. Dont think about that mission too long. Otherwise you will get a nosebleed. Yeah, thats the way. Right. Lets move on to the i. What have they got on the front page, nick. So the i has uks toxic water illegal sewage parasite in taps and higher bills on the way. Illegal sewage parasite in taps and higher bills on the way. And and higher bills on the way. And this very much concerns my hometown because millions of litres of raw sewage have been dumped illegally into windermere, where i went to school. How dare they put in the wind the great lake . Yes and so this is United Utilities, who are, you know , local businesses are, you know, local businesses in the lakes have all these rules. They often have their own septic tanks because theyve got their own, you know, look after their own, you know, look after their own, you know, look after their own sewage. They have all these rules they have to follow. But United Utilities dont bother. Theyre just dumping 10,000,000l of sewage into wind action. It says lake windermere. But thats a tautology because mere means lake. So theres all sorts of problems here, so yeah, United Utilities just do what they want. They make massive profits. So why are they they should afford to, you know, deal with their sewage properly. And its not just them. Theres wessex water who are dumping 29,973 hours of sewage into the river avon. This disturbs me that ours is so much sewage. We can only measure it in hours. You know what i mean . Smell might be another measure. Thats been hit really hard. And what bothers me is that you see that they charge up here in the corner. The left. Its £0. 90 for this newspaper. That seems like a waste of money. I got sewage. Get it free on this show. So yeah, i think to make it more relatable, the idea of having sewage measured in hours, an hour of toilet trip for women is about 16 trips. And for a man, its about two and a half. All right. So that makes it more relatable, i think. Yeah, easy to understand. Yeah, easy to understand. But whats going down the south west as well . I actually think it makes the south west slightly more attractive. Yeah. Because if you want to go on houday because if you want to go on holiday there, you wont be able to drink the water like youre on proper holiday. I in greece or something. Yeah. Theyre not telling people to boil water, but that doesnt work. Boiling water doesnt get the stuff out that you want it to get out. Yeah thats why theyve got e coli and bacteria. Yeah. Theyre just like theyre telling us that because it might make us feel like were doing something. Well, it will. Itll kill the parasites, but it will leave them dead in there. So you will be drinking dead parasites. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thats better than live parasites. I dont know, i think maybe alive they might be more fun. You got to take the winds where you can get them. Next we have the times. Scott. What have they got . Bed blocker crisis means extra nhs cash is being wasted. Apparently, patients are stranded and not stranded in the way that we used to leave my mom at a mall and drive away. Hope shed never find us again. She always got her way back. It was so strange with all her asthma, she could still walk. It makes you think as well. Yeah, i think people lie. But anyway, stranded patients because theyre being left, apparently theres a rise in delayed discharges from hospitals , thats been hospitals, thats been identified as a key driver of lower, lower efficiency. The length of stay is one of the biggest single issues that are burdening the nhs right now. Burdening the nhs right now. Its just kind of crumbling. Its just kind of crumbling. Its falling apart a little bit. And i think the patients i mean, it says here also that patients longer stays because theyre older, but theyre getting better. And so we dont know what to do with them. Once theyre released, they come back because they have nowhere else to go. Yeah. I mean, this is a problem that the nhs a problem for the nhs that the nhs cant solve. Yeah, there seem to be so many problems with the nhs. I know its almost ridiculously obvious statement , but weve got obvious statement, but weve got the story about bodies which we just saw on the news and thats coming up later. Theyre not deaung coming up later. Theyre not dealing with dead bodies properly. Theyve got this problem. Theyre saying half of its beyond their control, as you say. Id like to know about the other half, but yeah, half of its like industrial action and so on. But but have you noticed, though, that the papers are criticising the nhs more than they used to . I cant tell if thats because theyve become so bad or its become so bad, or if just theres a popular mood now thats tilted against the nhs. Covid was the peak of nhs love, and then what we like to see in england is build something up and then knock it down. Now weve been peak nhs hates because of the waiting list, of course. So i just wonder if theres a mood. I just, i just suddenly noticed we often have these anti nhs stories, so i wonder if the mood is just finally or maybe some of the reporters have had some bad experiences with the nhs recently. Wasnt there some stuff like 1 in 7 people are on a waiting list . All right. So i suppose there are enough journalists that right now some of them are on waiting lists. Well, im on a waiting list for an at home exercise machine. Is that the same . No. All right. Are you. Im actually on a waiting list. Are you . Yeah. So. No, i went to the dentist and my jaw clicks and she said, ill refer you. And i got the letter and the appointment is like, december , appointment is like, december, because theres no hope of being seen by anyone. What i will and i shouldnt say this, but she said when they do get in touch, say its painful. Yeah, even if its not. And i had to say what kind of pain, because theyre probably going to follow up on that question. Theyre really specific about it. Yeah. Do you want to tell me what the pain is now, the symptoms now. So when they got a therapist because im because im crazy when i got one, they only got them for six visits for free. And then i had to i basically lied on, on all the forms they sent me. And the woman who led me through filling them out onune me through filling them out online basically told me, she said, how sad are you . I said, pretty sad. She said, really pretty sad. She said, really pretty sad. She said, really pretty sad. I said, im really im im hyperventilate eating. She said, write that down. So yeah, it was like that. To be fair though, you get six visits to fix your problems. Scott would cost more than we have. Seriously. And im paying for it right now. Its just simply not enough. Yeah, theres a system that is not working , and we finished is not working, and we finished this section with the daily star. Nick, what tree have they got for us . Theyve got bless you, fido, which is a kind of a pun, steve, because the dogs are sneezing, you see, because theyve got hay fever. So you thought that like zoomers and people now were kind of weak and, you know, having all these all sorts of problems, but now its moved on to pet your pet now has hay fever. Well, not that hay fever suffers a week, of course, but just pets having it seems like it kind of its like dog therapy or something. It just seems like a sad new level. But they mock you. I think they want to behave the way you do pets. So they want to have the same thing you have. You know, i dont have a little one thing. I dont have hay fever. I dont have hay fever. I dont have hay fever. I want to look weak and moan about things. Its been terrible. This years been the worst year ive ever had it. Really . Really . Yeah, really. The last two years were okay, but this year its been really. Ive had. Yeah, really bad for the last two months. But how can you tell if a dog has hay fever because theyve already got wet noses . Shouldnt mean surely thats one of the symptoms. Well, if you kick it in coughs that it probably does. They complain a lot and go, oh, the pollen is high today. Thats how you know. Yeah thats how they say it. If you leave it outdoors in the parks all night, then its probably got hay fever. The. So youre going to get your appointment cancelled and your appointment cancelled and your dog taken away from you. Its been a great show so far. Thats the surface level of the newspapers done. In the next next. Welcome back to headliners im stephen allen, still here with Scott Capurro and nick dixon. And were hosting a night with the headliners live. You can join us for an evening of comedy with andrew doyle, leo kearse , with andrew doyle, leo kearse, simon evans and josh howie will be there. For more information, you can scan the qr code here or visit gb news. Com back to the papers scott. The guardian Keir Starmers message is the tories caused this mess, but were different, which will upset rishi because thats also his message. Well, theres just an article in the guardian about how my feelings are hurt that i wasnt asked to attend that comedy show that you just mentioned. Theres that you just mentioned. Theres that article. Nick, do you have an article about that in the guardian . Well, i was asked, but turned it down. Yeah, i wasnt too i would have too if id been asked. Yeah. Anyway , i wasnt asked, but anyway, i wasnt asked, but i would have, i would have said yes. Well i cant be there. But half those comics to my act anyway, so youll see it, in the Guardian Keir Starmer no quick fix to tory mess. I think weve talked about this a little bit already, keir starmer saying that theres no quick fix. There are deep problems labour will inherit if it wins the next election and already cares. Obviously apologising for what will be a potentially mediocre job. He says that it will take two, terms aims to correct some of the problems. So heres already writing a sequel to his. Yeah, to his first term. Still in labour as my. I think thats the title of the still in labour or or, labour pains two or does my pm look big in these jeans . Anyway, these are the titles of his extended plays. Or anyway, these are the titles of his extended plays. Or hes saying, look, i need more time than you think to fix the problems because im so ineffectual. No ones going to listen to me for two years. So give me time. Take a deep breath, relax, lay back, take a nap. You cant afford to eat anyway. Its going to be really bad because it sucks right now and im awful. Bad because it sucks right now and im awful. So, you know, and im awful. So, you know, brace yourselves. Its not just going to get worse, its going to get banal, and then theres going to be more of that. So give me ten years at least give me ten years to fix your problem. Its uninspiring to get the apologies in this early already on the days hes announcing missions and apologising in a place called purfleet untamed. Well, dont have a go. A lovely no, its a lovely sounding town in essex. I mean, its not lovely. I mean, its not lovely. Oh, it sounds cute and he gave his six pledges that materialise with, not very much pomp. They are, cutting nhs waiting times. Good luck with that. Stabilising the economy. Not going to happen. Setting up not going to happen. Setting up the Great British energy. I guess theyre going to , guess theyre going to, nationalise the energy thing or have a company thats state owned that can thats going to suck. And cracking down on antisocial behaviour. Id love to see it. How about my building where the guy lets his dogs, you know, poop and piss upstairs . No one does a thing. Were not even, you know, watched by anybody. No one comes by. No one looks at us, no one helps the Police Ignore us. And keir starmer didnt mention that. He didnt mention that in his speech. Thats what im saying. And hes recruiting 6500 new teachers, none of whom could touch a student, all of whom will be stabbed. But give him will be stabbed. But give him ten years. And the one thats not even listed there because he only thought of it later is Border Security command, because hes like, oh no, we have to do something about that. The most pressing problem in the country, you know, well, immigration generally is the most pressing. And he didnt even have anything on that. But now hes got one of his six. As i said, stability has changed the least inspiring, most orwellian slogan of all time. And then also there is significance, though maybe in the fact that this guy sebastian, james bullingdon , you sebastian, james bullingdon, you know, mate of boris and cameron and bucha , oh yeah. Yeah, maybe and bucha, oh yeah. Yeah, maybe that hes now moved to starmer. Maybe its a bit like the sun moving to labour. You know, its a bit like the sort of vague old boy elites going, okay, im now team starmer, which just shows you once again how much of a unit party it is again. Yes. They all went to school together. They all know each other and none i mean, oh, its a big club. And you already apologising. I think theres the comparison about how just before 97 was happening going to happen. Frasers like cool britannia. This idea of aiming britannia. This idea of aiming high, like things are going to be great. No, what weve got is its going to take ten years to fail to do anything. Stability has changed. Make a song out of that. Oasis, still in labour is still hurts. Do, nick to the telegraph dead bodies in the nhs were left to rot. And you think ill work fridge smells. Yeah. Sorry to anyone watching at 5 am. Or at night or any time. But we are covering this. Its bodies left to decompose. Nhs hospitals across england. This comes from the human tissue authority, who ive never thought about until today. I want to get a job with them. Yeah, well, apparently, scott, you have to freeze a body for. Well, it should be moved for. Well, it should be moved before 30 days, but this has not been happening. One of them was left for 70 days at leeds general infirmary, and there are signs of decomposition. After about the 65th day, it starts to resemble the current tory government. And thats how you can tell its been left there too long. But that infirmary. I saw a photo of it. Its near the parking structure. I think some old person got good parking space and then. Oh, well, you know, they kind of fell asleep, stay asleep. They didnt want to move the car. Thats the problem. They need better parking at nhs hospitals. Better parking at nhs hospitals. That will solve the whole, you know, dead body. Its another blow for the nhs and for peoples view of the nhs. You know, when it was like the, the unions back in the 70s. Not that im that old, but it was like failing to bury the dead was was a big thing that turned the public off. Yeah, i wonder if this dead bodies thing might turn the public even more off the nhs. So when you dig down the details, its only like ten cases in the last two and a bit years, which still is ten too many. But theyre not. Theyre dead. So theyre not voting. Exactly. Labour doesnt care. And the although i think demographically the tories are going after the dead vote if they can make that happen. But its like its a bad story. Its anicky its like its a bad story. Its an icky story. It should be more like any other nhs story is worse. Theyre all icky. It should be more like brazil, where they get them in the ground within 24 hours. And then the thats how long the morning takes. I mean, really because of the heat they have to get them to the ground. And when they do and then you go to the funeral and then its kind of over and you move on with your lives. Yeah, were banking on it not being hot here. Thats the key. Yeah. Theyve overdone it here. Yeah, theyre in leeds going. Its never going to be hot. But theres a whiff hot in leeds anyway. Yeah. So maybe no one noticed. For that reason you get amazon prime to do it. We could get these people buried quickly. You just have to have the privatise it better delivery service. I never thought id hear you say this. Get amazon to run the nhs youve turned into. Youre worse than leo kearse. What have worse than leo kearse. What have you turned into always. Yeah scott the daily mail claims the lucy letby inquiry should be live streamed to stop conspiracy theories, because putting things on the internet always makes conspiracy types not pay attention. It totally helps the former neonatal nurse was sentenced to 14 whole life orders after being convicted of murdering seven babies and attempting to murder six others at the chester hosphal six others at the chester hospital. Now, the Public Inquiry was set up soon afterwards and they want to put it on live stream so that people could watch and have all their questions answered and you can see the facts. Although facts mean Different Things to different people and they easily can be renegotiated. If whatever your story is. So how this is your story is. So how this is going to help . I dont know. Theres obviously no real history of trials being broadcast, although in the us there is. We started with oj, you may remember that was kind of the First National case and that led to a disturbing verdict. And, and didnt stop the conspiracy theories long before we had really the obsession with online people were conspiracy conspiracy theories , all sorts of things theories, all sorts of things about oj and still do. So im not quite sure itll help. Really . Yeah. Do you think this would especially the idea of a live stream inquiry stopping conspiracy theories . Because obviously theres loads of things to discuss about this case. But that part of the story, i think its more about peoples morbid sense of what went on. I think people want to watch. Theyve written letters saying, i want to see her. Yeah, and i want to see what actually happened. Yeah. I mean, i didnt know there was a Conspiracy Theory about this. I dont know what it would be even. I mean, shes innocent. Okay. That one. Okay. Shut up. Yeah. I mean, to me, there is a danger. I like the spirit of conspiracy theorists, of course, because theyre sceptics, as you sort of alluded to at the beginning, like me. But you can go too far and sort of lose your humanity. But you can go too far and sort of lose your humanity. And this of lose your humanity. And this might be one of those cases, but but Richard Baker casey is saying that broadcasting public inquiries has become the norm. So if it is the norm , then then so if it is the norm, then then why not for this case . Yeah. Well, you know, it has to become the norm. Thats what he claims. I didnt realise that. Its not about, Live Streaming a trial. Its the inquiry. Its right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the nhs. But justice, lady justice thirlwall. Thirlwall, she says. Posh said shell give her decision on whether the hearings are broadcast at a later date. So we dont. We wont know until she decides to tell us. All right. Stay tuned for that then. Yeah, nick, the times a story about the dutch trump, which is either a politician or the thing you do with bedcovers and your wife. Very clever. Yeah, its dutch populist government to abolish asylum permits. So this is a big deal asylum permits. So this is a big deal, actually, because as you may know, kurt wilders won the election, but he wasnt allowed to lead. But he agreed that he would have these four parties together in a coalition. He wouldnt be the leader, but he wouldnt be the leader, but he would still be influential. And thats what we have here. And so theyve come out with the most strict asylum policy theyve ever had, as hes called it, and its basically anti immigration. Pro farmer because one of the four parties is a farming based party. Thats their main concern. So theyre giving theyre sort of toning down the ridiculous emissions requirements for farmers, and theyre going to be tough on asylum seekers. Theyre going to, abolish asylum permits. Therell be no priority given for when allocating social housing, things like this. So theres a few things. Oh, and also, quite interestingly, lessons on the holocaust will be mandatory because because wilders is very concerned about anti semitism rising in the world. And he has been known to be a little bit, lets say, anti, anti some of the people that might be the most anti semitic. I dont know. That might be the most anti semitic. I dont know. How do we how do we say that . Ive tried to say that in a non controversial way. And it came out even worse. Anyway, hes very concerned about anti semitism and hes quite pro ukraine and so on. One thing theyre doing as well is bringing back 80 miles an hour as a speed limit instead of 62. Hollands gone mental with liberal things like , oh, 62mph liberal things like, oh, 62mph on the speed kind of liberal authoritarianism, post liberal authoritarianism. So hes getting rid of all that. And its good because people are crying out to have their issues deau crying out to have their issues dealt with by politicians, immigration being one of the main ones. And this has been stifled. And the eu here are very worried about it. Frans timmermans going, oh, wilders will be in power and thats very worrying. Its like, well then you shouldnt have been so arrogant and complacent because this is inevitably what youre going to get if you didnt tackle peoples concerns, he said. The climates this guy who just mentioned frans timmermans, hes the former eu commissioner dubbed the climate pope, has said that, the climate is going to be ignored and that, you know, the netherlands are going to turn into a right wing. You know, theocracy or whatever he said about it. But i just think that this person is answering, i mean, the guy you know, a lot of these people dont want to work with him. Obviously he won the popular vote, didnt win it, but he got the majority of popular vote and his co workers dont want to work with him. They think hes a bit of a pain. But again, its another election where the public is ignored about what they want. I dont agree with. I mean, i would not have voted for him, but he did win the majority. So you kind of win the majority. So you kind of have to listen to him now. Yeah, thats what democracy is. I love the idea that 62 miles an hour you think is like that. That was too much. Ill think about that as i drive back through the 20 mile an hour zone way back. Also absurd. Also absurd. But yeah, the only reason im late sometimes is because you get behind someone whos doing 20. You know, 20 zone and you just dont plan for that, do you , scott, the guardian, putin has been sucking up to the leader of china. Its a bit of he said. She said nice. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Theyre being best. Theyre best friends. Putin said best friends. Putin said best friends. And theres a border town called harbin, a city in northeast china once known as little moscow because it has russian population and Russian Orthodox style architecture. So orthodox style architecture. So theyre hanging out there, you know, good times, good old days. And i think putins trying to build , support for ukraine. From build, support for ukraine. From china. I mean, whether china offers arms or not, just the Financial Support china gives. Russia is enough. And then the Chinese Naval forces have been supporting Russian Naval forces in different, supporting Russian Naval forces in different , exercises supporting Russian Naval forces in different, exercises and stuff. It just reflects chinas support for whatever moscow does militarily. And i mean , hes militarily. And i mean, hes never the leader of china, has never the leader of china, has never come out and said either way, what he thinks about ukraine. But i think this has proven whose side hes kind of on. Hes hes playing both sides a little bit because hes, hes kind of bouncing around europe. And they were asking him a lot of questions about what his future political motivations are. And he doesnt really answer anything directly, mostly because he doesnt have to because he doesnt have to because their gdp is 6. 9 and britains is 4. 4. Gdp so i think if you live in china, youve as a citizen of china, youve decided youre going to give up some of your judicial rights and your ability to fight, maybe your ability to fight, maybe your case in court because you have a second home in the south of france. Yeah, its the old china , yeah, its the old china, russia, iran, north korea, the korean nations. Theyre ganging up. Up. Its not great, is it . In this new multi polar world, its quite disturbing. And this guy gubarev. I know how to say it. Anyway, hes a Carnegie Russia Eurasia Centre director, and he says never since the fall of the soviet union has russia been so distant from europe. And never its an entire history has it been so entwined with china. And thatis been so entwined with china. And that is a very worrying scenario. Its only the case as long as china feels like it. Of course. I mean, theyre stringing them along for now. But you never loved to hear that. Oh yeah. Were best mates. Russia and china. Well, and biden just dumped a bunch of sanctions on china. Theyre going to cost china a bit of money, and theyre feeling the pain. China is theyre even feeling the pain trying to export stuff to russia because of, whatever. It stuff they use that america provides. America is not providing it. So its bad economically for everyone, actually. And i just wish that these guys who were elected to diplomats would learn to get along a little bit better. I mean, i think putin needs to be put in a cage. I mean, i think putin needs to be put in a cage. I. I mean, i think putin needs to be put in a cage. I think he be put in a cage. I think he needs to be taught his lesson. But i dont think that the International Community is willing to do it. And criticising china for having friendship with putin is, i think, hypocritical , because think, hypocritical, because really the eu has done almost nothing to support ukraine in this battle. Yeah, i mean really go. And David Camerons previous job, he was best friends with china, i dont know, i dont know where he is these days , know where he is these days, thats this section sorted in the next one. School leavers cant go to university, but they cant go to university, but they can become train drivers. Lets hope they are good at next. Welcome back to headliners nick. The daily mail. Depression as a reason for euthanasia. Surely reason for euthanasia. Surely depression is just the correct reaction to how life is now. Reaction to how life is now. Yeah, there is an argument, and this is shocking and sad. Weve discussed it before. Its dutchwoman 29, granted permission for euthanasia on Mental Health grounds despite being physically healthy, dismisses criticism of her decision as insulting and says shell die in the next few weeks. This is zarya taebaek. Hopefully thats the pronunciation. And, whats tragic is about this. I mean, look, im very sympathetic. Shes shes shes got Mental Health problems. Shes self harmed. In the past, shes self harmed. In the past, shes been suicidal and shes really attractive. Actually, theres attractive. Actually, theres that as well. But shes gonna. But she wants to die. And the but she wants to die. And the disturbing thing to me is, even though, of course, one can sympathise with individual cases, do you want a society that runs like this . Because, look , the premise here is the look, the premise here is the dutch rule has been there since 2002. For those experiencing unbearable suffering , with no unbearable suffering, with no prospect of improvement, which is a bit subject. I mean, for one, thats like working with lewis, schaffer meets that description, but its subjective when applied to Mental Health is my point. It isnt. In her case, she it isnt. In her case, she said doctors tell her that shes been seeing for quite a while that her health is not going to get any better. Its only going to get worse or its going to stay the same or get worse. These are professionals, right . But i was just some psychiatrist saying that some psychiatrists, her psychiatrist said it. Yeah, but well theyre theyre a doctor. Yeah, but do they really can they really say that. My concern, scott, is not youve got the individual cases, but do you want to live in a society like this . Canada ive said it before, killed 13,500 people in 2022 from euthanasia. A woman who had fibromyalgia. But privately admitted she was just poor and she wanted to die because she was poor. And so they killed her because she was poon they killed her because she was poor. Essentially a man who had who was bullied because he was autistic. He got euthanasia. Do you want a society like this . I personally dont i dont want to copy holland in most things. And copy holland in most things. And a lot of our gender madness came from certain dutch laws. I dont from certain dutch laws. I dont want to copy this, and im worried about it coming to england because starmer is obsessed with it and i feel terrible for this woman. But i dont think we should have this as well. You know, there are several countries that have had it for quite a while. California has assisted suicide. Oregons had it since 1997. For people who are terminally ill, ive spent time with people who are terminally ill, and ive seen what theyve gone through. Ive had several friends that were youngin had several friends that were young in the 1980s that died of hiv aids in horrible pain, and they wish to end their own lives and they werent allowed, which is one of the reasons why california instigated and instituted this law. Switzerland has a new zealand, australia. All these countries seem to fare well under it. I think when its someones choice, i, and perhaps you havent been in a situation or found yourself around people youre very close to who are in that situation. But i have great empathy for them. But the risk with this story is that it might stop us bringing in a law that would help people who are terminally ill. Shes not terminally ill suffering. She is. Yes, she is suffering. She is. Yes, she is suffering. And i agree, if you suffering. And i agree, if you have a law about terminally ill, then that could stop people having to spend years at the end of their life. When i see pretty people that want to end their lives, i take it personally. Im like, youve got your looks, what are you worried about . But thats just because im a double gemini rising a bit superficial, although i am the life of the party, the point im making is she is in an enormous amounts of pain that that no medication will help her with. So how that pain is, is it is different from actual physical pain, but it is just as intense. But i wasnt arguing about the pain. I was arguing about the pain. I was arguing about the terminally ill. Shes not going to die of this. Well, shes tried to kill herself many, many times and been unsuccessful. Pretty sure you cant. Id pretty sure you cant. Id still worry that this particular case would stop a law being brought in. That would those people who have, you know, locked in and want to die, but we just cant. Well, thats not been the case in several other places, including, like i said, california, oregon. They have put those laws in place and they seem to work effectively well for them. Well, in canada its been disaster. So its and its been in the netherlands where she lives, theyve had an increase of 20. 29 couples enter their lives in 2023. Thats a strange thing. Id love to look at those stories too. But you know, these people, they want to choose how their lives proceed either way. Yeah, a lot of its about choosing the method of death and having sort of a nice death. Doctor Ashley Frawley put this very well. She said that our leaders have given up on giving you a good life. All they can promise now is a good death. I see that too. Shes chosen to die on her sofa at home and she hates it when people say, enjoy, enjoy the journey. She said, im not going anywhere. Im dying on my sofa where i want to die. Scott to the guardian. Next. An English Universities could close. Now where will could close. Now where will students protest whats happening thousands of miles away . Away . Well, theres been an analysis by office for students says increasing numbers will need to make significant changes to their funding model. One thing thats been, offered as an opfion thing thats been, offered as an option , which ive heard before, option, which ive heard before, is that universities kind of combine and that they need to merge. Weve got too many, especially online universities. Especially online universities. But physical universities need to sort of maybe give up one of their campuses and maybe become their campuses and maybe become the same. I mean, theres the same. I mean, theres diminishing numbers applying for universities , graduate students universities, graduate students are being turned away by silly immigration laws in this country. There are other reasons why foreign students are not applying and the freeze on student fees until 20 2526 is really made. Universities struggle to pay their their bills. So yeah, nick, your take on this. Yeah. Well, its a, its a visa scam , isnt it . Weve visa scam, isnt it . Weve covered it a lot. What we have now is universities doing this visa scam. Theyve got nonsense leftist courses. Anyway they should be allowed to fail. I mean, i feel bad for the people losing their jobs individually, but, you know, a lot of it. We dont need them. Theres a theyre not useful. They dont work. If you have to prop yourself up with foreign students in a kind of weird ponzi scheme, then you shouldnt really exist , should you . Really exist, should you . Im all for, no tuition fees for proper sciences. Stem subjects should be free to go to University Film studies. I dont care how much they charge. Care how much they charge. Thats because youre a science student. So though it also is because its useful, but they dont get to i mean, it used to be useful to have engush used to be useful to have english or history and things like that. When there were proper courses and, you know, real books. Yeah. Real books. The canon , when it wasnt all the canon, when it wasnt all about deconstructing everything and post modernism and all that, that was jordan peterson. But we basically got drunk on immigration as a country. And this is another example of that, nick, to the times, remember a few weeks ago we had that story about staggered driving licenses. They were suggested because young people arent safe behind the wheel. Bear that in mind when we find out this. Yes School Leavers can be train drivers under plans to ease staffing crisis. So yeah, i mean its one way to ease a crisis. I was a bit worried about this. I do find out that 18 though he cant. Its not like 14 year olds, you know what i mean . Like just piping up know what i mean . Like just piping up on the tannoy. Hey, im in charge of your train today. Cartoons are good. So thats 14. Maybe a bit old for thats14. Maybe a bit old for cartoon. Yeah, itll be a bit worried about that. How tall am i . Im this tall. How tall am i . Im this tall. I cant even reach the pedal. Anyway, its 18 year old and its going to build resilience in the industry, though perhaps not in your sort of sense of safety on the train. But yeah, they already are allowed to drive tube trains. I found out in this article, so fair enough too. Honestly the most depressing thing in reading this was i suddenly thought maybe its not depressing. I suddenly thought, i want to be a train driver because the pay 70 grand, 70 grand on lner, i mean, the median salary is 63,807. Im not going to say what i get paid here, but i might. Im just saying i might sign up to be bad. How hard can it be sitting there driving along the nice, there driving along the nice, the beautiful , beautiful country the beautiful, beautiful country of england . Both as well. If the train that youre driving stops at paddington, you can nip and do the show afterwards. Yeah, yeah. Good point. Or maybe tell jokes while youre driving. Dont tell the people where we are, steve. Thats a terrible. But yeah, i mean, why not, right . I think more and more people are going to suddenly become train drivers. Actually, if you look at it in this, in this, you know, dodgy economy, cost of living crisis and youre going like 70 grand to go press the presumably you just press the presumably you just press the thing, dont you . Its like driving which is preston and come back. Do they still wear the cute little, yoo hoo hat thing . Is that the only reason you do it . I like it, yeah, you could have a little hat. Do you get to go boop, boop . Yeah. Occasionally you run in and kill someone, dont you . And thats the downside. Or they juiiip thats the downside. Or they jump in front of your train. Thats what i mean. Thats what i mean. You dont kill them deliberately, but, i mean, you know, people die all the time. Youd be perfect at that. Thenit youd be perfect at that. Then it turns out youve got the because theres psychometric testing to make sure youve got the, the inner resilience to deal with that situation. Maybe we can we can couple that suicide thing with this. I would like the alone time just there in that cabin, the little cabin thing on your own at the front . No, louis, you know what i mean . Yeah. No, i know what you mean. No, i know what you mean. The metro and, we love this. We love him. The metro grinder now offers free sti testing, which is bad news for your postman, scott. How popular is grindr in the uk . Ill tell you, grindr reaches almost a million adults in the uk. The most popular dating platform is tinder, as you know, which is how you met your your daughter with, 2. 49 your your daughter with, 2. 49 your child bride. 2. 49 million visitors to tinder , which means visitors to tinder, which means a lot of people are humping and we get a lot of humping. You get a lot of sea eyes. And so grindr is going to offer, sti testing because the rate in england is high, but its highest in the caphal high, but its highest in the capital, 1397 diagnoses per 100,000 of stis in the last yean 100,000 of stis in the last year, as opposed to half that in the rest of england. So were number one. Yeah. Keep kissing. And, the new service is going to be launched on may 15th. Allows london based users to order free sampling kits to test yourself for stis gay, bisexual, transgender and queer people, or just gay men who want to test themselves now can and for free. But i thought we already could be tested for free. Yeah, maybe youre just a special research case. Yeah, maybe theyre keeping an eye on me. Yeah, im a petri dish. Is it . I mean, youve got a problem with this or not . I was just shocked that men are having sex with men. Did you know that . Did you know that . Oh, god. Oh, god. Appalling. Just. Thats like, you know what the good thing is, though, we do it quickly. Thats good. Get in and out. Survey done. Get in and out. Survey done. Yeah, we feel really bad about it afterwards. To well, thats this bit done. But in the next section , well but in the next section, well solve the mystery of the pyramids. And britains kindest plumber wasnt kindest. It was more of an estimate. Welcome back to headliners. Nick. To the daily mail. Theres an app that tells americans if a brit is being sarcastic. And if a brit is talking to an american, were being sarcastic. American, were being sarcastic. Yeah, not you though, scott. We think youre one of the clever ones. Ones. Yeah, youll be totally fine with this. Not. I dont know what. Im so confused. What that what. Im so confused. What that was. Americans can finally understand british humour. Yeah. So scientists develop a device that can detect when someone is being sarcastic. This was a team at the university of groningen, which i believe is in holland. So they could probably work on a device for their blunt rudeness. Maybe. How about that , so. And maybe. How about that, so. And its based on pitch speaking rate and other boring stuff, and they figured out how they can tell about sarcasm. And apparently oscar wilde said it was lowest form of wit, but he also said it was the highest form of intelligence. You never hear that second bit, do you . The anti sarcasm agenda. You only hear that first bit a new zealand waitress i worked with when i was still waiting tables and i hated myself. She said to me, i cant do the accent because i have a future. But she said, the i was very ive always been very sarcastic. She said its the lowest form of wit. I said, i think youll find oscar wilde actually said. And then i quoted actually said. And then i quoted this part, and she stared at me like she hated me. Im like winning, i think sarcasm is hilarious. My husband doesnt get it at all. Hes brazilian. Get it at all. Hes brazilian. He thinks im being me whenever im that way, and im like, i am being mean. Thats what it is. Yeah, its. He doesnt understand what it is. Then he said, what do you mean it . Im like, yes, i mean it. Thats why its mean. Its meant. So hes just like a happy, straightforward sort of brazilian person. Not not used to your devious ways. Yeah, exactly. Probably used to them by now. Duplicitous. Duplicitous. Are you sure youre getting sarcasm, though . So you mean it and youre being mean. I think thats just meanness. Thats just your personality, scott. No, thats why thats why americans dont really understand sarcasm. Because they interpret it as you being mean. Theyre like, why are you being mean to me . Yeah, because i think we use it to cut people in the us. Whereas its sort of used in an affectionate way in this country, almost as a flirtation. It comes from a small country with dense population, with a rigid class system. So you cant say anything directly. This is why i believe it comes from im making this up, but im pretty confident im right. But america is more straightforward, open, bigger country. You say what you mean manifest. People are saying if you if you say what you mean, it means that you mean it. But if youre if youre saying Something Else and youre trying to get me to understand it, youre youre mocking me. Yeah england works by passive aggression because weve had to over the years, mount each other a lot. It can only happen in a nafion it can only happen in a nation without guns. I think. You know, theres no way that a sarcastic conversation doesnt end with another. As can a women fighting each other in middlesbrough on a saturday night. Yeah, they tear each other apart. That only happens because no one has any guns. Yeah. Good point. Yeah. Please shoot me. You will just get killed. Seriously . Yeah. Women know how to behave when you. When you know theres few guns around. Its one of my favourite things to watch. Scott. The times keeping it topical, why were pyramids built where they are built, because they were built near water originally , and built near water originally, and it looks like they werent, because all the water shifted with a drought in 4200 bc or something, or 4000 bc. Theres a drought, and those pyramids are built on waterways because thats how they transported the materials to build them. And then all the sand moved. And now it looks like they werent built on waterways when they they werent built in the middle of deserts. They were built in their, you know, ponds and streams and things. Aliens built them, didnt they . Oh, thats. Oh, thats. But the aliens like the rivers because, you know, its beautiful back then. Yeah, thats what it is. Yeah well, im glad we got to the bottom of that, nick, the metro, a man was found living in a hole in the ground. Now, thats what you call a man cave . Yes. Man cave at 27 years ago is found living in a hole 200m from his home. Kind of sounds amusing until you realise its horrific. So his family assumed hed die during the civil war, because he was. He was gone for so long, obviously, but he was living. A man had kidnapped him and stuck a load of ore in algeria. Yes, yes. Stuck him algeria. Yes, yes. Stuck him under a load of hay in a ditch and just was just keeping him there captive near his home. And there captive near his home. And the dog picked up on this and was sort of pining for him. So the guy killed the dog they believe poisoned the dog. An incredibly sick story, actually. Just got you wonder how the guy couldnt get out. He was so near his home. Couldnt he do anything . But who knows . I havent been stuck luckilly in a hole with covered by hay 200m from my home. You do kind of hide in your apartment watching reality shows . Yes. Not dissimilar. Its not dissimilar. Thats voluntary. Yeah. For now. Well, you say, hey, involved. Involved. But theres a personality disorder here, i think. I think there might be some mental illness. Maybe. Which guy . Which guy . Like, oh, im sorry, we were talking about this earlier. I wasnt talking about you at all. No, i dispel rumours when i hear them. Thats fine. I think youre perfectly fine. Just keep your distance , scott, the daily your distance, scott, the daily mail, Jeremy Clarkson has been voted the sexiest man. That story again. Someone who makes people millionaires is seen as attractive. Oh, i guess bigotry is sexy to some women. I swear to god, women will sleep with anything. Which is how we all got here, right . Clarkson has been officially crowned uk sexiest after people like idris elba, whos so hot. I mean, come on, what do you think Cillian Murphy . Delicious and talented. And clarkson rolls around on a tractor yelling profanities. Thats what the women of this country want. Scott, you dont understand. Scott, you dont understand. Very low bar and yet youre single. Its incredible. Its a protest vote as well. Its a kind of like brexit. Its like no clarkson. He represents a kind of rebellion against the kind of rebellion against the kind of rebellion against the kind of remainer class. The professional managerial class is like, we want clarkson, we want brexit, we want anti immigration. And youve got all that and you. You. Good point. Why am i not in this . Actually, thats the other thing. I must be towards the back. This headline of saying that clarksons the sexiest man is an inqu clarksons the sexiest man is an insult to all men or thinking people, because hes got a look. Its farm. It says here its his bad boy farm vibe. Steve is that what its about . Yeah. Bad boy farm vibe, i guess. I provide food for random words thrown together. Bad boy farm vibe , driving bad boy farm vibe, driving you in a q car, making gay slurs. Its hot. I dont know, women say the strangest things. I dont listen to them half the time because, well , you know why. So i guess one thing we have in common. Yeah, i guess this is this is a reason why i guess hes winning. Because. Yeah hes got a big tractor. It might be hes got a big. It might be just the allure. Strong success is an aphrodisiac. Well, which is something none of us have experienced. Obviously, the show is nearly over. Obviously, the show is nearly over. Weve still not achieved over. Weve still not achieved any more of that aphrodisiac tonight. Lets take a look at your friday front pages again. Daily mail. Dont betray our royal mail. The telegraph says labour tax rises as sure as night follows day, says hunt, guardian ministers were warned in 2021 about carer scandal. The ai says uks toxic water, illegal sewage, parasites in taps and higher bills on the way express be warned taxes will go up under labour, says hunt. And finally, the daily star. Bless you, fido , those are your front you, fido, those are your front pages. Thats all weve got time for. Thank you to my guests, Scott Shapiro and nick dixon. Were back tomorrow at 11 with some other people doing this. If youre watching at 5 am, stay tuned for breakfast, meanwhile , tuned for breakfast, meanwhile, have yourself a good one. That warm feeling inside from boxt boilers sperm. Boilers sperm. Hours of weather on gb news. Hours of weather on gb news. Good evening. Its time for your latest gb news. Weather update brought to you by the met office. There will be a few showers around tomorrow , but showers around tomorrow, but also some decent warm sunshine before that. A largely dry night ahead once the heavy rain that is affecting central parts at the moment clears away towards the moment clears away towards the west. The low pressure driving the rain is making its way westwards across the uk and as it clears away it will take the worst of the heavy rain with it. So for many it is going to turn largely dry overnight, although across some parts of nonh although across some parts of north wales, Northern England, perhaps into southern scotland, therell be some thicker cloud here and that cloud could bring some outbreaks of rain elsewhere. There will be some clear skies, but temperatures not dropping a huge amount, most places holding up in double digits. We do need to watch out digits. We do need to watch out for some mist and fog first thing, particularly in the southeast. I am expecting a few patches to develop overnight, but they should largely clear quite quickly as we go through the morning. Tomorrow. Some brighter skies across other parts of southern england and wales. Thicker cloud though for Northern England and wales, and this bringing some outbreaks of rain even into parts of southern scotland. Sunny skies, though, for Northern Ireland and the rest of scotland, albeit towards the far northwest towards the outer hebrides. Here some thicker cloud could also be bringing some outbreaks of rain first thing tomorrow morning. Otherwise as we go through the day, the thicker cloud across some Northern Areas should break up a little bit. So some brightness breaking through here and elsewhere. There will be some decent sunny spells, but also a few showers to watch out for. They should be generally fairly hit and miss in nature, so many of us will avoid them. Do watch out for some heavier ones across parts of scotland, temperatures likely to be a little bit higher than today for many of us. Low 20s quite widely, so feeling pretty warm in any sunshine into the weekend and on saturday. Watch out for some hefty, showery rain spreading its way across southern parts. Elsewhere, there could be a few showers to watch out for, but they dont look like theyll be as frequent or as intense. Perhaps fewer showers on sunday, but still the chance of some, especially towards the south. Then monday is looking mostly fine. See you later. Later. A brighter outlook with boxt solar sponsors of weather on gb news. Its 9 pm. Im Patrick Christys tonight. Im not here to get into a fight. Im not here to debate necessarily. Im coming with a sincere intention to engage. Sincere intention to engage. Suella braverman confronts the student protesters. What was the student protesters. What was what would be your your your main question to some of the individuals . Im really keen to hear what your message is to israel. Your message is to israel. Find out what happens when suella comes face to face with the pro palestine rabble. And on the pro palestine rabble. And on the one hand, youre recalled literally quote a cold eyed monster, but nevertheless a cold eyed monster. Theyre prepared to have a date with again, is that correct . 7 you hear . You hear from hollywood superstar kevin spacey . Why is superstar kevin spacey . Why is he still cancelled . Plus, but its not copycat because were now, what, 27 years on from 1997 . The challenges we face now are not the same as those faced by tony blair. Keir starmer insists hes not blair 2. 0 as his six pledges get pred blair 2. 0 as his six pledges get ripped to shreds. On my panel tonight, its telegraph columnist allison pearson, lord shaun bailey and ex labour advisor matthew laza. And what does this german politician do next . Yeah, yeah. All right, get ready. Britain. Here we go. Suella braverman takes on the palestine protesters. Next. Palestine protesters. Next. Patrick. Thank you. And as youve just been hearing, Cambridge University has announced it will host this weeks graduation lie ins elsewhere as a pro palestine protest camp remains outside the venue. Its hosted ceremonies since the 18th century. Protesters pitched tents on a lawn outside senate house yesterday, with graduation ceremonies due to take place there tomorrow and on saturday. But the University Says its taken the difficult decision to hold the event at an undisclosed alternative location. Gb news alternative location. Gb news were there earlier. Patrick and the team as former home secretary Suella Braverman visited the cambridge for palestines encampment today on kings parade as she attempted to talk to activists about the protests. Sir keir starmer has protests. Sir keir starmer has told gb news therell be no tax cuts under a Labour Government until the economy is back on the path to growth. The labour leader says that while he wants to keep the tax burden as low as possible, he also wants to ensure that Living Standards improve. He said british people deserve to know that future generations will enjoy better opportunities. His. But he says opportunities. His. But he says that can only be achieved with tangible steps after we, have