Next june. But a letter sent to next june. But a letter sent to fifa president Gianni Infantino says the sports new schedule is beyond saturation. It will cause beyond saturation. It will cause economic harm for domestic leagues and poses a significant injury risk to players. Fifa has yet to comment. Well, for the latest stories, you can sign up to gb news alerts, scan the qr code on your screen or go to our website for more details. Now its website for more details. Now wsfime website for more details. Now its time for headliners. Its time for headliners. Hello and welcome to headliners. Im nik dixon, taking you through tomorrows top stories for the next hour, and im joined by undercover, pro palestine activist josh howie. Hes very undercover and undercover feminist cressida wetton. How are you both. 7 yeah, i know its not quite as perfect, but youre more of a difficult to pin down character than josh. Its good ties. Youve got a haircut and you know what else is new. 7 yes, haircut and you know what else is new . Yes, weve got new seats, right . Weve got new people are saying, whats going on . Gb news . Whats going with the producer . Weve got new seats. Were not going anywhere here. Yeah, were doing brilliant. You dont get new seats when things arent going good. But did anyone know josh , but did anyone know josh, that the seats about the previous seats, did they know what seats were on previously . They were terrible. Yeah, yeah , they were terrible. Yeah, yeah, its so good. You okay . Josh, im just so happy. Weve been asking for new seats. You seem. Its a sign that the gods are looking on us and shining and going, recognising us for our great work. Yes. Its where the. Its the money. Theyre not paying me has gone into the seats. But its worth it, you know it is worth it. You know what, josh . Thats going to be an hour in a Mainstream Media article, presenter goes mad about seats on gb news. The metro is going to be all over that. To be all over that. Oh, this is my. Im gonna go viral. I know as nothing is that is that will be a story. How are you, cressida . Im fine. Yeah. Im fine. Yeah. Im fine. Yeah. I mean, this is very exciting. You dont care about your new seat the other day. And you know what, josh, i underplayed it. I regret that i did. You cant. The audience at home dont get it. Because the way this new seat, the way its cupping my buttocks, its like im going to be so funny for you tonight because of this seat. Tonight because of this seat. Okay, talk about your buttocks. Twitter is already seems like a great moment to go to the front pages, so lets do the daily mail and worst whooping cough outbreak in 40 years. The telegraph has. Hunt urges banks not to rush rate cuts. The guardian goes with fear and trepidation as 100,000 people flee raf bombardment. The mirror whooping cough warning the times has truancy up by a fifth on fridays. And finally, the daily star. We want to see big pictures of uranus. If i just said that on my own , it would be said that on my own, it would be a big problem. But its on the daily star, so its fine. Those are your front pages. And what is on the front of the times . Josh, do you think that did it what you just said . Yeah. Is that recorded . I have no idea i missed it. Do you think the audience heard what you said . Its funny. If they heard it or not. If they heard it or not. Isnt it . It is funny. Do you want to say what you said again . I just said nailed it, mate. But i thought it would be hilarious if they hear it or if they dont. That took a big risk. Either way, it was good. It was. Thank you. Nailed it. It was. Thank you. Nailed it. But you laughed at me so at me, with me, with you. Was it with it . Felt at. Well, its his catchphrase, isnt it . He likes saying nailed it, nailed it. People like it. Josh. People like it. Josh. No, no. Its good. Be airy. Big numbers. The times very exciting here. Angelina jolie and brad pitt are back together, which is amazing. Oh wow. Oh no. Thats an old photo. Okay, so thats not so great. I thought thats not so great. I thought that i thought falklands veteran. Oh man, i thought nature was healing. I thought it was like brexit was gonna be reversed. Youre desperate for good news, arent you . This is this is all good. Oh, well, all right then. Truancy up by a fifth on fridays. Oh, weve had this a lot , these kind of since lot, these kind of since obviously covid and since the government and the opposition showed how flippant they would be with our childrens education. Then guess what . Then parents went, oh, well, i guess if no ones that bothered then we will go away for a long weekend , right . Weekend, right . If nothing matters. Yeah, yeah. If our childrens education doesnt matter. They showed it wasnt important. I absolutely agree with you. So what are you going to do . You know, i mean, it is important. And we should. But but that was the example that they gave, correct . Its just human nature, isnt it . Its like when they put us in lockdown. Everyone who is in the laptop class went, oh, this is great, im going to finally write that novel. Write that novel. And very few people emerge from lockdown with a novel. A lot of people had beer bellies, drinking problems, those sort of fun things, yes, but they did use that exact voice. I like that impression of the sort of classic guardian easter. But you know what . I agree on all this. Theres one thing i would add, though. People are kids are taking time off now for minor ailments. That didnt happen when i was younger. Major ailments. You went in. I remember second year junior school. My mum sent me in there. Take me out of class. I was literally shaking before that was a meme. I was literally shaking. Youre always shaking. Youre always shaking. No, i had a i had actual temperature, but my mum was like, go in anyway. Youll get a in two days. You can have two days off. She meant the weekend. Okay. Thats what she used to say. But now its minor ailments. Well, i once broke my collarbone and my parents just ignore me for the whole dinner party. True story. Thats dark. And i believe that about your childhood. Yeah. Okay. Maybe we should move on on that bleak note and do the guardian questionnaire. Fear and trepidation has 100,000 people flee rafe bombardment, yeah. So more people are fleeing in gaza, so un Officials Say yesterday thats where the figure comes from. 100,000. I know sometimes the figures come from hamas. These are from un. Well, theyre not dead or anything like that. Theyre just saying that 100,000 people have fled. They havent said, by the way, that they fled because they were given leaflets and given telephone calls and said to get out so we can prevent civilian casualties. Exactly, its not because hamas went round and knocked on their doors and said, we dont want you guys to come to any any trouble. Do do leave. Do do leave. Do do leave. Yeah. I was hoping you were going to do a sort of arabic accent. Absolutely not. Josh. Absolutely not. Josh. No, i mean, its terrible, isnt it . Who would want to be displaced in a war zone . Its horrendous. Horrendous. Josh, without getting mad, do you agree that this rafah thing is losing israel popularity in the world . That its that its like a i think that people hate jews and this is the excuse that they need. Is there no legitimate case for people who are just concerned . I mean, even even the us . Biden. Yeah. No , no, biden is being no, no, biden is being pathetic. Theyre all being pathetic. Theyre all being pathetic. If anybody could give me a solution of how to defeat hamas without going into rafah, i think thats brilliant. And without any , any civilian without any, any civilian casualties in a war that israel didnt start, then. Yeah. Say didnt start, then. Yeah. Say it. Thats what no one ever says is how do you defeat hamas . Israel cannot have hamas on its border. Thats just the reality. Nothing is going to change that. Israel has to get back its citizens, by the way, including five us citizens as well, that biden seems to have chucked under the bus and never mentions. So what can they do . They are in a position if you know hamas could surrender, of course they could give up the hostages. They could surrender and then save casualties, save peoples lives. But of course, hamas doesnt care about that anyway. Its so annoying when people sort of give all of their sort of, oh, israel has a ceasefire. We cant israel cant ceasefire. We cant israel cant go in. Well say what they should do then just give up. I suppose. I suppose if youre gonna make the counterargument very briefly, i suppose it would be youre not going to knock out hamas type groups anyway, you know, a bit like some people think ukraine is unwinnable. If its unwinnable, its just more. No, no, its very winnable casualties. But thats the thing is, its very winnable. Israel has already defeated a huge amount of hamas members. Its not like they dont have the technological ability to defeat hamas. Itsjust technological ability to defeat hamas. Its just they want to kill or want to ensure that the least amount of civilians die as they do so. So, i mean, the idea that its a genocide thats going on when theyve deliberately held back to prevent exactly that is ridiculous. And as you say, 100,000 people are leaving. Israel is letting the idf are letting them go, letting the civilians out, encouraging them to get out so they can get in and destroy hamas. So okay, but theres a big story here, though, by the way, which is sort of hidden in the corner. Starmer pledges to rip up rwanda scheme. So this is starmer with a policy which is interesting. His idea is to defer the 775, 75 million or so and make invest that in the police to kind of investigate these, people traffickers and whatnot. You know, its a plan. Maybe itll work. I dont know, its just vaguely depressing. The amount of energy money and time has been spent on rwanda. And as soon as he gets in, itll be like in the bin. But thats politics, isnt it . Thats the system we have. What about the daily mail, then . Josh . Yeah. Worst whooping cough outbreak in 40 years. Five babies dead as experts blame for fall in vaccination rates. That could be obviously pre covid we had the old the old, mmr jabs and all that furore back then. But the sad i mean, god, its just you cant even imagine the stress and the horror of whats happened here. But three of the five grieving mothers had had the jabs during the pregnancy specifically to protect their children. So the fact that this. Yeah, well, thats not going to give people much faith in the jab then, is it . Well, theyre saying that its got this, this particular type. Yes. Is less effective as a less effective version. And a less effective version. And its just stories like this are just too horrible to contemplate, i think. And theres a slightly more light hearted story. And theres a slightly more light hearted story. Stormy light hearted story. Stormy daniels if id made up my story about sex with trump, id have written it a lot better. But i dont think that actually stands up in court as a legal defence. But anyway, what about the daily star, then . The daily star . The daily star . We want to see big pictures of uranus, so some space boffins want to launch an up close and personal mission to uranus so they can photograph whats lurking there, lol , yeah. Its, lurking there, lol, yeah. Its, its a new mission. Why is there a picture . Is that rishi sunak . Its a picture of rishi sunak. That rishi sunak . Its a picture of rishi sunak. Yeah, with of rishi sunak. Yeah, with a rocket on it. Is that what hes going to be doing after the election . Yeah. Flying off new role as a space boffin. He is quite smart, apparently, though maybe not competent enough to be actually in space. Im not sure i love the star. If anything ever did happen to gb news, i hope i could go and write for the star you just take. Its just a bingo game. You just take boffins. Seagulls. Yes, a few other terms. You just smash them up. I know, but i feel like the same time theyve messed up this front page because in the, in the again in the left corner is elvis was in my bacon. I feel like thats a much more important, relevant story than in the big pictures of uranus. I feel like they should have. That should have been the header. Well, its the star. It could be back on the front page within weeks. Josh, i hope you might get to do it yet. Yes. All right. Well elvis was in my bacon or uranus. Im not sure which is the most pressing story you decide at home, but that is a front pages deau home, but that is a front pages dealt with and coming up Nadhim Zahawi steps down. Natalie elphicke starts her apology tour and eurovision gets nasty. Also, were hosting a night with headliners live and you can join us all for an evening of comedy with andrew doyle leo varadkar, simon evans and even josh. I was ianed simon evans and even josh. I was invited but i wasnt available. So for more information, scan the qr code on screen or visit gbnews. Com. There it is. You got a fancy qr code which i forgot was coming up. Ill bring the chair. Ill bring the chair. Ill bring the chair. Yeah, ive tweeted it as well. It made more sense to do my welcome back to headliners. Im nick dixon, still here with josh howie and chris dan wootton. Havent bothered writing an extra joke for the second bit, but. So lets just crack on and do the metro , right . Yeah. Its do the metro, right . Yeah. Its fine. Im comfortable with it. Lets do the metro and this next story sounds like the most horrific thing weve ever covered. Pretty much ever. But if you actually read it, its even worse. Josh, it sure is. Man jailed for 22 years for making testicles salad then eating it. That is not a euphemism that is a real testicle salad. This is a guy called his nickname the eunuch maker. I wonder why that is. And he performed illegal castrations live streamed them on the dark web and was jailed for 22 years. Illegal thats the problem. Thats what bothered me about this story. The illegality of the castration. Yes. Well, a good old legal one, but not not illegal because some of these people actually gave him permission. Thats the crazy thing. Thats thats a huge part of the story. Yeah. Its a very so this is eating their corn and i know this is. Yeah. And he also this is a separate thing. But the nhs was forced to amputate his leg because he froze it. And then he had his own willy nipple. So but had his own willy nipple. So but the difference is that when he did it like and got paid is the difference between, people chopping like people who work for the nhs, chopping off healthy bits of children when they think theyve got gender dysmorphia. So thats the difference. There its a big deal difference. There its a big deal. Obviously were talking Mental Health issues here. I dont think the nhs are streaming it either. I know im not streaming, but doctors are getting paid to, yeah , to do terrible things to yeah, to do terrible things to children 22 years. This does send a clear message, doesnt it, to anyone else whos thinking of, of doing this. Yeah. No copy, no copycat crime. Feel appropriate, yeah. He was a married before this. Was a married before this. Amazingly, that was very upsetting after he got married. But no, it started after he. His relationship broke down. Okay, so it sounds like the defence or the explanation is its to do with control, but i just thought it was stunning that somebody was into doing this. Had found a partner. I think thats amazing. Think thats amazing. That is shocking. Thats like. Thats like give you hope. Thats like how thats horrible. Thats like how thats horrible. Thats like how thats horrible. Thats like thats like how ted bundy has had a girlfriend. Hes like, oh, hes nice when you get to know him and all this madness. Anyway, apologies for anyone trying to get sleep or eating their breakfast. Just blanket apologies to everybody to the nation. Yeah. All right, lets move. But not to Matthew Sweet whos trying to clip this. Definitely not. Lets do the guardian and Nadhim Zahawi has announced hell be standing down as an mp at the next election. I think i speak for all of us when i say, yeah, cool. Whatever. Cressida Nadhim Zahawi to stand down as mp at the next general election , so hes hes general election, so hes hes the latest in a long line of conservative mps to pack it in. Hes the 64th, lucky 64, is it . No. Oh well hell find out wont he, so this is the guy who was briefly the chancellor under boris, and then he eventually got sacked because he didnt declare an hmrc investigation , declare an hmrc investigation, which he had to pay £5 million for as you do. Which is funny , for as you do. Which is funny, isnt it . I work with money and im being investigated. But angela rayner, you know, that second house situation, theres look, theres a lot going on, isnt there, with everyone, anyway , so hes done everyone, anyway, so hes done this letter and thats really the significant part of this for us, hes done this, this letter that sort of , us, hes done this, this letter that sort of, arguably a bit over the top. Yeah its like a sort of poetry. Its got some some shakespeare in it. I know youve got some specific quotes. Yeah, i think weve got it up or weve got a picture of it, think. Okay , here we go. A haiku. He okay, here we go. A haiku. He begins, with the exception of convincing my wife to marry me, its been the greatest honour of my life to represent the people of stratford on avon. And later on, he gets quite into. He goes every morning as i shave my head in the mirror, i have to pinch myself. And later he even even talks about my most famous constituent. He means shakespeare once wrote , go to shakespeare once wrote, go to your bosom, knock there and ask your bosom, knock there and ask your heart what it doth know. So yeah, you got a bit carried away. And he says, parting is such sweet sorrow. Its like all right. You were chancellor for two months. Just made it in a little bit, you know what i mean . But, you know, im sure hes a nice guy. Its nice to see a different type of letter, but it was just a bit like, just say, you know, im off. The tories a toast. See you later, right . Yeah. I never get my pension. Whatever. He also says here helping his constituents in the time of need remains one of the most meaningful things ive ever done. So it means he did it once. Yeah, thats not true. Poor old nadeem. I mean , its poor old nadeem. I mean, its just. I mean, the reason i dont really care. I mean, im sure hes a great guy, as i say, but i just the tories are just of course theyre all leaving. I mean it just now or in a few months after you lose the election doesnt really matter, does it . Yeah sinking ship. Yeah. Sinking ship. Yeah. Get in there first. Just quick, quick before getting there. 64th. Yeah. 64th. Yeah. All right. Done that one. Lets do the mail. And thousands of protesters are calling for the israeli eurovision singer to be excluded from the competition. It must be a pretty bad song. Josh. Yeah, imagine how bad it is. Yeah, israeli eurovision singer, eden golan is, ordered to stay in a hotel room by a security team. Thousands of pro palestine protesters, including keffiyeh wearing greta thunberg, gather in malmo, calling for her to be excluded. This 20 year old jewish woman and people saying leave her alone as shes theyre protesting. Shes 21. So i think we could say whatever we want to about greta when shes bullying about greta when shes bullying a 20 year old. Oh yes. If you see like the thousands of people outside this poor young womans hotel room, and she was escorted to the venue, like, with, like, a hundred police cars and an armoured vehicle. I mean , this armoured vehicle. I mean, this is, like, just nasty stuff. This is, like, just nasty stuff. This is meant the whole eurovision. The whole point of it is to be a sort of celebration of what makes us the same. And having a bunch of barely concealed racists shouting out, because this young jewish woman is singing, representing the only jewish country in the world, is ridiculous. Its disgusting. It ridiculous. Its disgusting. It makes me very upset. Yeah, it does seem very silly. And all this kind of excluding people. It reminds me of the russian tennis players when they were banned. But then again, eurovision has always been very political. What do you think, crystal . I think her attitude towards this, the singer, is just extraordinary. That shes carrying on. I mean, i would be in no mood for performing at this point when theres thousands of people she got through, by the way. She got through the quarterfinals. Shes going to be in the final, right . I just found out like, okay, well, thats extra ordinary. Yeah. She initially went in with a song called october rain and then claimed it didnt have any, it wasnt a political song. I mean, is she very naive . Thats thats bizarre. Thats bizarre. Slash doing a guitar solo. I mean, thats quite close to november rain. Im no scholar. But now being hurricane, right now, theyve changed it. Right . Right . Okay. Yeah, but its okay. November rain. But its october rain. Okay. Ive got it now. But heres the thing though. I heard this the other day, this just for a bit of colour on this story that eurovision apparently the reason we dont want it and put in rubbish songs is because its so expensive. Yes. And its been bankrupt. The island that was a plot of father ted was it . Yeah. They kept on winning. Father ted was it . Yeah. They kept on winning. Ireland kept on kept on winning. Ireland kept on winning. And so they. Thats why they allowed father ted to sing in the competition. So they would deliberately lose because they didnt want to. They didnt want to host it. I forgot that one. Apologies to Graham Linehan and apologies to Graham Linehan and apologies to friend of the show and ireland friend of the show. Yeah. All right. Well i thought that was an interesting. Turns out it wasnt. It was just an old sitcom plot. Oh well, lets do the times then. And Natalie Elphicke has joined labour and shes already fitting in by condemning men. Cressida Natalie Elphicke apologises for comments defending husband, so shes defected from the tories on wednesday, gone to labour and shes apologised for defending her former husband after he was convicted of sexually assaulting two women, so the story is saying that shes doing this because as she goes into labour, theres quite a few people who are not that thrilled about her being there, and so shes kind of digging this old story up, it was really an attempt to sort of make peace with some people in the party. And shes shes. Previously when this was all happening, she defended her husband. And i mean, who knows what she presumably she thought she was doing the right thing at the time. I mean, its the time. I mean, its incredibly distressing, isnt it . If somebody suddenly finds out that their partner is actually a sex, whats inappropriate term, is making unwanted advances to women. Thats very distressing. Well, its actually he was convicted of sexually assaulting two women. Yes, but what im saying is, at the beginning of that beginning, she didnt necessarily defend your husband at all. She defended him after hed been convicted. Well, thats. Well, i mean, im not saying is that people are in denial about things, arent they . And that, you know, who knows . But anyway, shes now , knows . But anyway, shes now, shes now, sort of coming out and saying she shouldnt have done that. Shes apologising for defending him , but really, the defending him, but really, the whole tone of it is what a strange person to be going to labour after some of the things she said about them. And shes described keir as being too soft. She thinks he wants open borders and then just at the last minute shes kind of jumped ship and gone where the where the jobs are still available. Yeah, i feel like shell have to constantly apologise for things and itll just never be well, she shes standing down in the next election, the election. So this is really so she can get some sort of advisory role in housing, which is her speciality supposedly. Not that tories have really build many houses over the last 13 years. So the advice will be build some. Yeah, yeah. By the way, now youre in government, maybe build some houses , but there is. Yeah. As houses, but there is. Yeah. As you were saying, chris, there is this dilemma because its, its another way to kind of stick it to the tories. Yet at the same time, is this the kind of person that they necessarily want on board . And being a now a labour like, does she align with what traditional labour values for example, so this is, this is the balance that they have to decide. But i think the crux of it is because shes, is she dover . I think so somewhere dover . I think so somewhere shes a coastal town. So that i think allows keir starmer to play think allows keir starmer to play into this whole immigration element. And thats why theyve sort of gone through that. Yeah. But i mean, labour trying to be all things to all people is dangerous. They alienating the left of the party because theyre mental. But you know, theyre mental. But you know, theyre alienating some of the left over israel palestine. Yeah. But they far left. But theyre alienating. They might alienate people by taking in random tories. So it was the second one. Theyve taken in as far as i know. Yeah. I mean, you know, the other guy was the doctor the other week, but its i do wonder if they can go too far with this other Penny Mordaunt made a sort of quip in parliament today. Did you see that . She said shes shes not going to defect. Shes too left wing for labour. Thats funny. The problem is she actually probably is. I mean, shes so left shes probably agreed. So im not sure it kind of works if you really are just a woke lefty. Thats witty. It was witty, but sort of too accurate for me. But anyway, thats my little beef. But lets do the telegraph then. And i hate to shock anyone watching at home, but it turns out banks do pretty much whatever they want. Josh . Yeah, banks are law unto themselves. As mortgages rise and Savings Rates drop, themselves. As mortgages rise and Savings Rates drop , this is, and Savings Rates drop, this is, this this months announcement that the rates are going to stay the same. This is the sixth month in a row, there was this expectation that Mortgage Rates would start dropping at some point because saving rates have been dropping. And there is a discrepancy between the two banks will go, oh no, its different for mortgages. Its different for mortgages. Its different , you know, if different, you know, if someones making money somewhere. But as weve just seen on one of the front pages, the expectation is that next month will be maybe the first drop, which could then lead to more and more drops. But it is strange that we are having Mortgage Rates actually going up in some cases, as things have stayed flat. So absolutely. So absolutely. Yeah. And youre, youre trying to im trying im trying to dry land. So for once, silly bit of money sitting in my bank, not making as much as it could and trying to find a mortgage at the same time. So im their perfect customer , really, arent i . I need to get online and sort all that out , yeah. But they never pass on the savings to the customer. Thats what ive noticed. You think they will be passed on soon . I dont really understand it. Im not sure, because apparently relying on the bank rate to determine how much they would pay savers did not necessarily reflect the full range of Retail Banking dynamics , and that this is the good part. This is why its good to get comics on the show, this type of show, i think because it just shows like what just normal idiots are like , yeah, yeah, idiots are like, yeah, yeah, were just three idiots. Yeah, i dont understand any of this. And im too tired to read it properly. Im like, its about ive got my i think people can relate to that. Yeah. I think people are like, yeah, good. Look, there are some other idiots out there who dont know whats going on with their Bank Accounts and their mortgage. Well, we need someone on the show who knows about economics, but thats like all the other shows. Yeah, exactly. Thats what. Thats what im trying to say. Thats what im trying to say. Thats exactly what differentiates differentiates. This is the usp. We dont understand the economy. Whats going i dont know what to do. I just want to start crying. Yeah. We should bring on someone just for a little like two minute snippets about the economy. But they also dont know, all right. That is it for part two. But coming up, malfunctioning brain implants, which i think just happened to some of us there i porn welcome back to headliners. So lets get straight into it. With the times. And a rare , the times. And a rare, heartwarming story for headliners chris gunter. Thats right. Toddler born deaf can hear after world first gene therapy. Oh how good is that . So when opal sandy was four days old, doctors told her parents that she was completely deaf. Parents that she was completely deaf. 18 months later, shes had deaf. 18 months later, shes had this new fantastic treatment and she can now says hear delights in hearing cutlery slammed on a table, all the sounds of a tinkling piano. I bet that was fun for the parents for the first 20 minutes, wasnt it . That and now shes going around banging pots and pans and making noise. But anyway. Thats great. Noise. But anyway. Thats great. So this is, she she was born deaf with, a condition called auditory neuropathy, where the nerve impulses that transport sound to the brain are disrupted. So it just didnt work. And now this trial led by Cambridge University, is using the latest gene therapy to deliver a working copy of the gene to cells in the ear, replacing the faulty ones. Its magic. Its amazing. Its breakthrough. Yeah shes called opal sandy, although i call her starburst. Sandy thats a joke from about ten, 15 years ago. Its good, but i just. I feel like there is that i feel a bit sorry that shes now going to know that her name is opal. Sandy. Oh, i see what you mean. Shes here alone now. Shes here. Im just saying, thats the one downside to this. I always hated the deaf. Hes done jokes about him in his set for years. Yeah. Its true, yeah. Its true, but but this is your one issue. Pro israel hates the death. Like those two, no, the joke is say what you like about the death. Yeah, about deaf people, wasnt it . But its good. Its good. And then thats it. Just stop. Sign is. Thats it, thats it, thats it. And its a good joke. But but but very cruel. And in the modern world, youd be cancelled. This is i, this is my secret. Is that videos of deaf kids getting cochlear implants, is that what they call it . Or getting glasses like babies getting glasses like babies getting glasses like babies getting glasses and hearing or seeing their for parents the first time makes me cry. Like i just watch those videos over and over again, and every time they can see their parent for the first time and they smile, or they hear their parents and they start like, and the parents start like, and the parents start crying, i start crying , i start crying, i start crying, i just watch them over and over again. Im obsessed with, oh, thats nice. No, you have feelings. I do have, i do, but its the only thing that makes me thing. The only thing that makes coming home. Not even my own children hates children. No. Children hates children. No. No children likes children in these videos or hearing. Thats it. This is. It doesnt even like children. It makes me feel like im jesus when i watch the video. How dare you . I know youre insulting christians, but also why do they use this . Its a start. Just the beginning of gene therapy. This beginning of gene therapy. This is so exciting. There are two issues here for me, number one issues here for me, number one is i feel like. Yes, making deaf babies here is good, but maybe they might want to have started with hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Thats all im just saying. Im throwing that one out there. Wheres our funding . Yeah. Okay. And number two is channelled all this money into big ear on a on a slightly more serious note, there are people who are deaf who are quite militant about their deafness, and theyre very proud of their deafness, and theyre very like they wont well, they wont know, but they wont get like the implants. They want to stay deaf. They just want to do sign language. And theyre very clear about it. And they see people getting the implants as a sort of betrayal of really . Its true. Yeah, yeah, thats quite odd. Ive never heard that before. Ihave ive never heard that before. I have heard dont defend them. Like dont say heard. Like dont say heard. Yes. Sorry. Josh. Okay, good. We got through that one without saying anything politically incorrect. Lets do the times and a third of young men are refusing to leave home, in some cases, until theyre 34 years old. Im so glad i dont have five children. How about you, josh . Yeah. Young men refuse to fly the nest with a third still living at home. I totally love all my kids to stay at home as long as possible, i lived at my grandmothers until i was 35, well. Did you . Yeah well, that was the only way we managed to buy our flat. Was because we saved a deposit. Took, like, four and a half years. So your wife lived there with you . With her . Yeah. And the amazing woman whos like, hey, ill be living at my grandmothers till 35. Shes like, yeah, cool. Shes like, yeah, cool. Well, we that was the only way to afford a flat. And so we lived there. We saved that money for like four and a half years. We were there, you could have moved, like blackpool or something. I could have. He means in, like, the best part. And then we moved out when my youngest, whos now 14, is when he was one. So there was this weird crossover year when the baby was one. And then my grandma was also going through some tough times, and it was like taking care of two babies at the same time a little bit. But thank you, grandma. Shes dead now. But thank you. You know, thats what allowed us to get into the onto the onto the ladder. Funny that thats an anomalous story in our culture for like, most of the world. No, that thats how humanity works. You know, we help each other in a family, in italians and so on. This world, we kind of go, oh my god, did you with your family. Oh, thats so weird. Yeah, we are weird and atomised about that. But is it so . We are, which is weird. I mean, young men staying at home, 28 of them used to be 26 in 2013, which is also quite high. Is it . So . Is this bad or good . Well, its a reason that women should want good things for men , because its. Well, no, for men, because its. Well, no, its not good, is it . It tells me. Would it freak you out if someone was like, hey, im still living with my parents when theyre 30 . It would depend on the context , i dont know, but what context, i dont know, but what was i saying . Its i dont know was i saying . Its i dont know whether this is because the cost of living is so outrageous or whether its because men have given up, are sitting in their bedrooms playing Computer Games and not going out, making a plan, making a life. I dont know, it could be a bit of both. Its a bad time for young men. Theyre told theyre toxic women are all crazy feminists. So theres a lot of women who are staying at home as well, so theres just not enough houses. That goes against my rhetoric and agenda though. Oh, i see, so thats ignore it. It. Well no. Yeah. Its also cost of living as well. And yeah. Yeah its a lot of things. Its a lot of things i dont know. Youre right. It seems weird to us. But to some people this would be completely normal. So well in the world that we i mean, obviously were all sitting here being employed right now , but i know some very right now, but i know some very precariously employed people in comedy and they are not going to be living in their own places, probably. Ive got a friend that makes a joke that when he dies and ends up in a grave, that will be the first shot he has at property. Yeah. Wow thats. But some people will be saying this is actually lucky because if youre from im from the Little Village in north, i couldnt really live. My parents and have a job other than farming. So its like, you know, sometimes youre quite lucky to live with your parents because it means you live somewhere nearer major city or something. I dont know, giving it another spin there. Im being terribly reasonable tonight. Lets do the times and three words you would never want to hear together. Are malfunctioning. Brain and implant chris oshea elon musks neuralink reveals malfunction in first human brain implant. Yes, that does sound true. You wouldnt want to hear that, but he sort of spins it as if its fine. So elon musks brain chip start up neuralink says part of implant is in its first human patient has malfunctioned , human patient has malfunctioned, i think ive got one in my head, no, ive got ive been fitted. Youve been fitted. Ive got one. Look oh, yeah. Thats amazing. Youre one of the first human subjects. If you are indeed human, i can also play tetris. Right now can also play tetris. Right now im playing tetris. Nice. Nice. Nice. Terrifying, so, there was a progress update released 100 days after the surgery on wednesday, and neuralink said that some of the links, devices, threads had pulled away from the patients brain a few weeks after surgery, which had rendered the device less effective , they dont know effective, they dont know exactly how many, but in response, theyve said theyve tweaked its algorithm and improved the techniques for translating brain signals into cursor movements. So it sounds like theyre treating this as a great learning opportunity. Yeah. Josh , one question. If you do josh, one question. If you do that blinking thing enough, can you get a job on the bbc . Do i want a bbc . Do i want a bbc . Of course you wouldnt. This is the best channel. But sorry guys. Switching over to the bbc. Funny joke. Over to the bbc. Funny joke. Come back. Little joke. Anyway, anything on this roster apart from your, no. But now the guy. No, but hes been, is he paraplegic as well . For eight years. And now he can play for eight years. And now he can play mario kart and slay the spire. Those are two brilliant video games. So things are looking up. Yeah. More good news. All right, well, lets do the guardian, then. On technology and open ai is exploring whether users should be able to create artificial intelligence. Pornography. May i be the first to say no . Definitely not. Please make it stop. Josh at the end of the world, its the end of productivity at least. Do you remember you and you were showing me all those taylor swift, yes. Things that you, the fake news. Yeah, but you didnt. But i just read the article and i found out that theyre real, right . I mean, that they were fake. And you told me they were real. You said like, yo, look, i was out with taylor swift this weekend in the break, i was sending you taylor swift pictures. Yeah, this this all happened. Yeah, this this all happened. Openai considers allowing users to create ai generated pornography. This is because, of course, any Technological Developments will usually go down the porn route eventually , down the porn route eventually, i. E, you know, you had youtube and then it became pornhub or whatever its called. I didnt know that. Is that what that is . One is the other. Well, no idea. So similar. The same owner. Hes saying the same concept. The same concept which is looking at videos. Right, right. Well, so i think we should refer to the Previous Story about young men living at home, which is more evidence for nicks point that this should all be stopped immediately. I mean, this isnt good for human beings, is it . Yeah. Make your own. Yeah. Make your own. Theyre saying the kind of content could include erotica. All right. Extreme gore, not all right. Extreme gore, not sure. Slurs and unsolicited profanity. I have a little question there. How how do you ever get the unsolicited profanity . If its. It must be solicited at that point, who is asking for unsolicited themselves . Themselves . Isnt it the case that you make this stuff at home like someone so someones soliciting it. Youre soliciting it for yourself. You see what i mean . How can how can you solicit from yourself . I dont know, but how can unsolicited profanity ever like, whos sharing it . Therefore, this is so great. What . Just the future. The two what . Just the future. The two philosophical giants here. But theyve also, because theyre saying theyre trying to use the present i its got safeguards on it. So it said they tried it out and they did experiment. Said write me a steamy story about two people having sex on a train. And it wouldnt do it. It said , i cant create explicit said, i cant create explicit aduu said, i cant create explicit adult content, but what it should have said is watch risky business. Yes, but dont worry. The labour party is considering a ban on new defaecation tools. Anything on immigration, lads . No, no, were considering about not even a bad, but we might. They dont want to flip flop too early on this. Lame. All right, lets quickly do the telegraph. And a Cambridge University journal has removed the term anglo saxon. I cant help but feel somewhat targeted. Cressida cambridge journal pandering to mad americans by ditching anglo saxon from title. So apparently vie anglo saxon means Different Things to different people , so the different people, so the definition here is that it refers to a Cultural Group that emerged and flourished between the fall of the roman empire and the fall of the roman empire and the norman conquest, when germanic peoples, angles, saxons and jutes arrived and forged new kingdoms in what would later become a united england. But apparently White Supremacists also think that its for them, which is ridiculous because in the beginning, the whole point is its not referring to a homogenous group. But anyway. But the problem with racists is, they dont theyre not necessarily that well educated , necessarily that well educated, so they might not know the real meaning of anglo saxon. No, theyre not. And so this very important journal, thats been going for a long time. Theyre thinking of changing its name. Theyve done it. Change it. Right, right, which is, you know, upsetting a lot. Here it is. Its the early medieval england now, instead of anglo saxon. Oh. Absolutely ridiculous. Its an attack on us. Just good old english people. And as Dominic Sandbrook says, they are pandering to a handful of mad americans. Yeah because just because White Nationalist americans use it, why do we then have to alter our. Yeah, its colonialism. Yeah. Its colonialism by white racist americans. Yeah, absolutely. All right. Smash that. That is it. For part three. But coming up in the final section, blackface obese monkeys and female psychopaths. See welcome back to the final section of headliners. Lets get into it with the telegraph. And a story about the thin line between skin care and race. Hate. Josh. Indeed. Students accuse of blackface. Win 1 million payout after arguing it was acne mask. Theres no arguing. It was acne mask. It was. It was an obvious acne mask. This is when they were 14. There was a photo, but a few years later it came out. A few years later it came out. This is in 2017. We got the picture. We got the picture. Oh, there he goes. So everyone was like, look at these racists. Its like its an acne mask. Yeah. Or theyre in a vietnam movie. Its green. Its green. Its green. Its one or the other. Its one or the other. All theyre doing an impression of the mask or something. Its classic projection, isnt it . If youre seeing racism in that, maybe the racism is coming from you. Im not thinking about race. Im thinking about face masks. That is not blackface. That is green face. Yeah and when it came out, it was like its on posh school in california and it was all around, the killing of george floyd. And then everyone was like, look at this phone, look at these racists. And they expelled them, or they said, you better leave. So these kids have worn like half £1 million. Go or youll be sent. I mean, thats terrible thing as cancel culture is that and the school are trying to be like, well and then the school put out this pathetic statement after the findings saying, well, they didnt find us that we breached the handbook or this and that, but they did find that its like, look, you threw these kids, you threw your students under a bus. Yeah, but theyve been cleared now, which is amazing. But as you say, the cancel culture, the apotheosis of cancel culture, absolutely disgusting. No good comes from this. And the fact that photo was 2017. Then after George Floyds death, they go, i tell you what, well just retroactively cancel these people. Its absolutely when they were 14 years old and they got acne, disgusting and all the while thinking, oh, were good people for doing this. Were really good people. If you were that good, wouldnt you be concerned if you thought you were churning out students who were racist . I think id be very well. I just feel sorry for all the kids with acne. Yeah, i had i had really bad acne, and now you couldnt risk it. Now you just have to have acne. You have to just. Yeah. Just be out here. Just pus. Just flowing all over the place. Sorry about the breakfast. Go with the testicles. Not earlier. Another of many horrible images tonight. Maybe we should move on and do the daily star. And the worlds fattest monkey has died , but no one knows what has died, but no one knows what caused it. Chris oshea worlds fattest monkey, godzilla dies despite fat camp stint to cure junk food addiction. Oh, was that wasnt that awful . How sad. So this that awful . How sad. So this monkey, was , living in bangkok monkey, was, living in bangkok or he. No, he went to hospital in bangkok. He was in thailand. And people were feeding him chocolates and sweet drinks and all the things that make Lewis Schaffer very, very angry. And he was fat and he had thyroid disease, diabetes and cushings syndrome , overproduction of the syndrome, overproduction of the stress hormone cortisol. I know exactly how he feels , and hes exactly how he feels, and hes gone. Yeah he was basically like Lewis Schaffer in the old days before he cured it all by eating exclusively meat. He had all his diabetes. Although lewis would love to be chained up with an endless stream of people coming and talking to him, thats probably thats true, his ideal life, throwing him bits. But yeah, weve got planet of the apes is out tonight. The new planet of the apes film. It planet of the apes film. It would be good if they had, like, a big fat ape in it, like maybe. Who finds in the future they find all this, like, junk food thats been left, like twinkies thats been left, like twinkies that have been left over from humanity. And then they all get like, that sounds like one of those really bad plot lines written by the new woke writing style i guys. Its junk food. That sounds terrible. Yeah, and then lewis. But then Lewis Schaffer comes along and gets them all into shape. Okay. And he and hes also like like in the future, all the humans cant speak anymore. And theyre all stupid, and i just im im spitballing. And ijust im im spitballing. Im spitballing here. I feel like the netflix executives im talking i dont know about this stupid new seat. So i suppose. Yeah. I mean, it is hard to be fair to get anything out of worlds fattest monkey , but you had a valiant monkey, but you had a valiant effort, yeah, its called godzilla. Thats all ive got. Its nothing. Lets move on and do a this is a non story, guys. Lets move on and do the times. And people in japan are making gold from human remains. Can you ever take recycling too far josh. Well this is really interesting story. Culturally anthropologically. Ethnographically japanese strike gold in human remains. So in the west of japan , in they have part west of japan, in they have part of their culture is they everybodys cremated in japan, basically. And in the west of japan , families go along to the japan, families go along to the cremation afterwards. And pick out with chopsticks like the big bits of bone. This is i know. Bits of bone. This is i know. Yeah. When you take that, take that away with them. But that leaves a whole load of other stuff, including metals and gold teeth and silver and palladium and whatnot , teeth and silver and palladium and whatnot, and that teeth and silver and palladium and whatnot , and that theyre and whatnot, and that theyre kind of just donating to the town. And so these towns are kind of getting like millions of dollars left over in these metals because people just want the juicy stuff. They want the juicy, big bones, crazy death tax. Yeah. Yeah. But isnt that interesting . Thats what they do in japan, that they all get cremated. And then you go with your chopstick, with your parents, with whoever, and then you pick out the bits and then you pick out the bits and you go, oh, i, ill have that femur. All im just saying this is so i watched shogun the other day on disney , and now im other day on disney, and now im just learning so much about japan. A bit grim, especially the fact that 95 of the respondents to a poll had no objection to it, and 70 actively supported it. To me, it seems a bit of a moral decline thing. It sort of just treating humans as kind of, you know , something to just be you know, something to just be recycled. I dunno, what do you think . Theyve got this ageing population problem havent they. Thats what this is about. Yeah. Its the birth rates again. Its the birth rates again. Yeah. Yeah. Birth rates full of theyre full of gold. Yeah. Yeah. Theyre like instead of having some actual children well turn dead people into gold i mean and it means if youre buying gold in japan, you dont know whats in it. You know, the idea of a wedding band that came out of somebodys tooth is very strange, isnt it . Yeah. Okay. Weird story. Yeah. Okay. Weird story. Lets do one more in the mail. And how to tell if a woman is a psychopath. Is it that shes breathing crestor . Im so sorry. Ieven breathing crestor . Im so sorry. I even didnt like that joke because i wrote it. Someone else wrote that whatever it was was going to be at least that good, reveal the key sign that indicates classic psychopath woman might be a psychopath woman might be a psychopath. And it is very rare psychopath. And it is very rare because there are six male psychopaths for every one female, so what does that say . Well, thats what the feminist culture says. Thats what it says. It says here its actually 1 to 2 at the end of the article, psychopaths dont read to the end. But hes like, but it says that they keep their head very still. So i just want to say it. Sorry you go on, go on, go on, go on. But, they found that the biggest psychopaths kept their head very still, just like men. And thats underlined , which is and thats underlined, which is interesting, isnt it . We dont. We need to move our heads around to show that were not psychopaths. Well, this is what it says at the end of the article where it says that if you get to the end, it says that what women say is women are better at hiding their than the psychos. So its actually 1 to 2 is what theyre saying here. I was just laughing at you saying because there that you would seem like a psycho on tv while saying you werent, but im sorry about that. But i was or wasnt. I dont think either of you would know. I dont think no, because women are machiavellian and, you know, because men dont Pay Attention anyway, yeah. So. All right, good ending to the show. Were all best mates. Show. Were all best mates. Really . Okay. The show is pretty much over. Josh is still moving his head, but lets have another quick look at fridays front pages. Quick look at fridays front pages. So the quick look at fridays front pages. So the daily mail goes with worst whooping cough outbreak in 40 years. The telegraph has. Hunt urges banks not to rush rate cuts. The not to rush rate cuts. The guardian fear and trepidation as 100,000 people flee raf bombardment. The mirror has bombardment. The mirror has whooping cough warning the metro. Five babies die as cough bug spikes. And finally, the bug spikes. And finally, the daily star. We want to see big pictures of uranus. Thats what it says in the star. Dont blame me. Thats all we have time for. Thanks to josh and cressida. Headliners is back tomorrow at 11 pm. With paul cox and Lewis Schaffer. Unfortunately thats what it says in the zigi and if youre watching at 5 am, then stay tuned for breakfast. But for now its good night or good morning and god bless. A brighter outlook with boxt solar sponsors of weather on. Gb news. Good evening. Welcome to your latest weather update from the met office here on gb news. Another cracking day tomorrow if you like it. Fine, warm and sunny. If anything a little bit warmer than today with light winds. Thanks to this chunky area of high pressure. Hasnt been fine everywhere today there has been these weather fronts just trickling across northern scotland, still bringing some outbreaks of rain, particularly for caithness, sutherland and spreading across the northern isles. But a patchy rain at times across aberdeenshire too. Times across aberdeenshire too. But for most its dry and fine out there. Generally clear skies, a bit of mist and low cloud. Returning to parts of Eastern England , and a few fog Eastern England, and a few fog patches are possible in the south, where temperatures in the countryside could dip down to 3 or 4 celsius. Most towns and cities there starting tomorrow at 10 or 11 celsius, and most will start tomorrow with plenty of sunshine. And for many itll just stay that way. We will see again some misty conditions around a few coasts, particularly perhaps east anglia, east coast of northern ireland, southwest scotland and a bit more cloud moving into the Western Isles through the day. But any early rain across shetland should clear. For most its fine, some spells and warmer than today. 21 to 23, maybe 24 or even 25 and 1 or 2 locations. Another fine day to come on saturday. Again, the possibility of some mist and low cloud affecting eastern coast. The small chance of 1 or 2 isolated but heavy showers over Northern England and southern scotland, but for many, fine again. And if anything , a little again. And if anything, a little warmer, 2425 degrees, a little cooler around some coasts. Goodbye looks like things are heating up. Boxt boilers as sponsors of weather on gb news. Its 9 pm. Im Patrick Christys tonight as a megaphone going on there, saying that were unfriendly press, which is interesting. I expose the oxford interesting. I expose the oxford palestine mob. Do you think this might be a bit fascist . Thats might be a bit fascist . Thats a little bit fascist. Palace site . No. Okay. Palestine okay. Palestine its almost like theyre the fascists. And i can see a changed labour party. They can see that were fundamentally and unrecognisably different from the labour party of 2019. Well keir starmer embrace extremist just to win votes. Hes already sold his principles down the river with elphicke dodi keir starmer. Labour have changed and i think that change is going to bnng think that change is going to bring a much Better Future for our country. And thats why im so keen to join the labour party and play my part in bringing that important future forward. That important future forward. Doesnt like shes blinking for help there, doesnt it . Stay tuned though, because weve got a big story about labour coming at 10 30 pm. And an exclusive. At 10 30 pm. And an exclusive. This jihadi is back walking the streets elsewhere, though people inside say. Israel streets elsewhere, though people inside say. Israel is booed at eurovision telegraph columnist allison pearson, lord shaun bailey and ex labour advisor matthew laza on my panel this evening and on your marks, get ready. Tell evening and on your marks, get ready. Tell me evening and on your marks, get ready. Tell me whats wrong ready. Tell me whats wrong here. Okay. Keep your eyes peeled. Ill reveal all shortly. Peeled. Ill reveal all shortly. Get ready. Britain. Here we go. Is labour still full of extremists . Next. Extremists . Next. Hello there. Im Aaron Armstrong in the gb newsroom. The chancellors cautioned the bank of england against cutting Interest Rates too quickly. The Interest Rates too quickly. The bank has decided to hold borrowing costs at the same level. 5. 25 for a sixth time. But governor Andrew Bailey suggested a cut could come as soon as next month. However, jeremy hunt has urged the bank not to take risks with inflation. I welcome the fact that the bank of england has obviously thought about this very hard. They take this decision independently and i would much rather that they waited until theyre absolutely sure inflation is on a downward trajectory. Vie and rushed into trajectory. Vie and rushed into a decision that they had to reverse at a later stage. What we want is sustainably low Interest Rates. And i think whats encouraging is that the bank of england governor for the first time, has expressed real optimism that were on that path. Thousands of pro palestinian demonstrators have gathered in the swedish city of malmo to protest against israel competing in the eurovision song contest. In the eurovision song contest. Protesters dressed in palestinian colours packed the citys historic Market Square before a planned march through malmo. Now, during a dress rehearsal last night, crowds could be heard booing israels performance by eden golan. The second semi final of the contest is underway. The foreign secretary says britain will not follow the us in withholding arms from israel. If a full scale invasion of rafah goes ahead. His comments come hours after President Joe Biden vowed to cut supplies if the southern garden city is attacked. Lord cameron says theres a fundamental difference because uk sales are much smaller in scale and are policed by strict, strict rules. But added the government would not support an invasion of rafah unless it saw a plan to protect civilians. Speaking of the National Cyber security centre, the foreign secretary also urged fellow nato