Failed to tackle illegal migration last 30 years. Politicians of all stripes have promised controlled and reduced immigration only to deliver the opposite. And the deliver the opposite. And the pubuc deliver the opposite. And the public are rightly furious at whats happened. Its placed immense strain on housing, on pubuc immense strain on housing, on public services, on community cohesion. Labour is pledging to overhaul the countrys Mental HealthServices Following the defection of tory mp doctor dan poulter, the former Health Minister and psychiatrist announced that he was crossing the floor on saturday over the state of the National Health service. Sir keir starmer will service. Sir keir starmer will tour doctor poulters constituency tomorrow , so hell constituency tomorrow, so hell say labour will inject resource and reform into the way that Mental Health is approached. If they win the next election. The alba party has been placed on an election footing as motions of no confidence in scotlands first minister make a general election. There look increasingly likely. Their only msp , ash regan, hasnt confirmed msp, ash regan, hasnt confirmed if shell support humza yousaf , if shell support humza yousaf, but its thought that her vote could be crucial. Mr yousaf is asking leaders of rival parties to find Common Ground after the collapse of the snps power sharing deal with the greens, and finally, more human remains have been found in two locations in greater manchester. Weeks after the discovery of a torso in a salford nature reserve, the new body parts were found by officers at blackleach reservoir and a dog walker at linnyshaw colliery wood, both in salford. Colliery wood, both in salford. Police say they believe the victim was a man in his 60s. Two men were arrested on suspicion of murder on thursday and they remain in custody. For the remain in custody. For the latest stories, sign up to gb news alerts by scanning the qr code on your screen. Or you can go to gb news gbnews. Com alerts. Now its our headliners. Now its our headliners. Hello and welcome to headliners, your in depth look at mondays newspapers and the company of three top comedians. Im Stephen Allen, joined tonight by two big names in comedy. An even bigger names in the ofcom wallchart leo kearse and lewis schaffer. Youre giving yourself a round of applause. I have to do it. I have to do it. I dont, i dont feel like it. Im on a losing streak right now. Its not a quiz show. Oh, now. Its not a quiz show. Oh, sorry. Dont worry. Theres no chance of walking away with a speedboat at the end of this. Have you ever wondered why youve been on so many times and never won anything . No wonder you look depressed. Won anything. Theyve paid me to be on this show. This is. Ive won. This is. This is the high point of my. See, the problem with you is you. You were bigger when you were younger , and this is the were younger, and this is the highest. Wow. No, im saying, im saying, im saying this is. Im saying, im saying this is. I am in the glory days of my thing. Right oh, dear. Yeah. Right. Lets take a look at the front pages. We start with the daily mail. They go with tens of thousands exploiting hidden asylum loophole to the telegraph uk attacks eu double standards on migrants. The guardian, the home office to detain uk Asylum Seekers in shock rwanda move. The times says depressed and anxious face losing their benefits to make it worse in it. And the i news says sunak to resist early election as tory rebels on manoeuvres. And rebels on manoeuvres. And finally, the daily star umpah umpah take off the jumpers and those are your front pages. All those are your front pages. All right, lets get into mondays telegraph. Leo, what they got so they they lead with the government is accused the eu of double standards on migrants after ireland, which is in the eu, vowed to send Asylum Seekers to the uk despite france refusing to take channel migrants back. So this is, this is basically since the rwanda plan is finally looks like its actually going to take off. Migrants have been or Asylum Seekers or economic migrants illegal migrants, whatever, have been leaving the uk and going to ireland because they see that as a safer place. They see that as a safer place. But thats caused all sorts of problems in ireland because they dont have the infrastructure. You know, we dont either. But, you know, were were a bigger country. So ireland is saying, well, were going to senior irish ministers who say, well, were going to change the laws so we can send them back to the uk. And the uk is saying, well, we cant send them back to france, so why should you be able to send them back to us . And, yeah, theyre basically saying theyre going to dig their heels in and not accept any returns. It does also make you think we had the ability to send migrants back when we were in the eu. Oh, here we go again. No, oh, here we go again. No, steve, you got to get over it. Ive been eight years. Ive been eight years. You lost. Just accept it. You lost. Just accept it. You lost. Just accept it. Me personally, i lost. No, but i mean, this is what it means, isnt it . We actually could have. So the reason they cant send migrants back to the uk at the moment is because were not in the eu. If we were, then its thats part of the deal that everyone had signed up to. And it is funny , the reason to. And it is funny, the reason they cant send them back to the uk at the moment is because legally were not viewed as a safe country by them. Yeah come on, thats funny. I dont view britain as a safe country either. Im trying. Im trying to get out of here before i get stabbed. Yeah. I mean, louis, is any of this made you want to go to ireland instead . Well, i mean, what it makes me think of is, why dont we just makes you think that. Yeah, it makes me think. Why dont we just shoot somebody . Thats all that needs to be done in these things. I dont, i dont i dont believe in that , really. But thats in that, really. But thats basically what should be done is we just need to pull the they do that. Im not obviously im not advocating for that at all thing. Its a horrible who does that. They dont do that. They dont do that. But saudi arabia did that a bunch of i think there were eritreans or ethiopians , crossed eritreans or ethiopians, crossed into saudi arabia. Im not sure where from. Yeah so the Saudi Arabian border guards, youve pulled out machine guns and shot country in the world does that. Thats called a border. Im pretty sure its just saudi arabia got guys with guns on every border. Well, theyre possibly shoot. And so thats im not saying it needs to be done, but thats what needs to be. Well thats the thing. Our asylum system and our asylum rules are built for a completely different time and a completely different time and a completely different people. Now weve got mass travel and weve got social media. So, you know, pictures of four star hotels and people counting cash and whatever getting beamed back to wherever, everywhere in the world. So everybodys like, i want to come to britain. It looks it looks better. Theyve got stable democracy and all the stuff that we dont have in, you know, wherever we are, and the trouble is, theres only a certain amount of, certain amount of migration you can sort of deal with, especially if its people who arent culturally assimilable. I mean, if it was french people coming, that would be easier. But still, even still be bad, even a certain amount, just one, two, you know, then they get in the thing and oh my god, this guys. But youre one of them. And youre right. One is enough. One is too much. Leo. Thats a very good point. Well, mate, do you not think theres also. This is all pointless . Because if they do bnngin pointless . Because if they do bring in a law and theyll vote to say that the uk is a safe country, and then theyll be able to remove people to the uk, theyll just go straight back through again because its not like theres a border. Yeah. As long as they can get a ferry into Northern Ireland again, they just walk through. Maybe this is just like a gap year for eritreans. They get to do the full circuit tour of europe. And you know at each point the home office in whatever country is moving you on. So youre not even having to pay on. So youre not even having to pay for a ticket because theyre actually saying if ireland sends them back over, theyre going to get sent back. So this is if you love spending time on ferries, this is probably a great time for you. Good stuff. Well, lets go to good stuff. Well, lets go to the times. What are they leading with . Louis depressed and anxious face losing their benefit. Thats me. Im feeling a bit. A bit down and out. Tories playing welfare reform as election divide. Its basically. And this is didnt we. We did something the other week with another one of these stories about 9. 5 people who arent working and they just million, million, million. And, and the truth is, is that theres going to be an election coming up. And i guess the tories are trying to show that because the stories that they actually care about, the tories , supposedly they the tories, supposedly they havent been able to do anything about. So lets work on something that they havent been able to. But this is more of an Election Year thing because, i mean, the country, our economy is really facing. I mean, this is really facing. I mean, this is this is why theres a economists say, well, we need mass migration to replace the people who arent working here. But if we could just somehow get the people here to get off the couch and stop being lazy, the trouble is, if you pay people to sit on the couch, ive got friends who do it. Ive got friends who do it. Ive got friends who do it. Ive got friends who you know could work but are all like, oh no, ive got, ive got adhd. Ive got, you know, whatever, whatever thing you can just basically turn up and get diagnosed, you know what i mean . Im not saying adhd isnt, you know, doesnt exist or anything, but im saying everybody i know has it and ive got it, and we could all go in the sick if we wanted. Well, it exists if youre willing to pay people money for it, you know, its one of those things it this is this is one of those things. The elections coming. I i never paid attention to that many elections in the past. And im lucky i have havent paid attention because this is this is not going to help. Youre not going for that Political Correspondent job . No, i dont want to do i want to do it at the risk of being sensible and ruining the fun for everyone. Yeah. Whilst mel stride is right in saying there are some things that are just the ups and downs of life that are being medicalized, that doesnt mean that absolutely everyone whos going to fall foul of this system is just one of those people. So there are some people who will suddenly find themselves without access to their medication when they need it, or being forced to work when they cant. No, theyre good. They can still have their medication, but they can just eat it on the bus to work. Just yeah, have a double dose and get through a full days work. Yeah. Were all struggling. Were all struggling under the weight of, you know, existential dread. We just get on with it. If you go to if you go to third world countries, if there are any left anymore, everybodys becoming middle class. But if you go to, you know, places like india or whatever, you know, people arent sitting about being like, oh no, i cant do anymore because they dont have a they dont have a welfare system. Maybe they do know it. I dont know. But you know, you dont. If its your research watching slumdog millionaire, i just make it up. I just made it all up in my head. Fair enough. Moving on now to. Weve given you the guardian. Leo. Does it burn when you touch it . Well, luckily, this is just a photocopy, which i urge everybody to photocopy the guardian and not not pay for it, but yeah, basically, theyve got a nice picture of Nicole Kidman because the guardian objectifies women to sell more copies, and also, theyve got an interesting story about thames water. So senior whitehall officials fear that thames waters financial collapse could trigger a rise in government borrowing costs not seen since the chaos of the liz truss mini budget. So theres, argues to renationalise thames water, but its got £15 billion worth of debt, which would then have to be moved on to the governments balance sheet, i just £15 billion worth of debt. How do you lose money selling water like everybody. Everybody uses water. You use it a drink it, a make tea out of it, a wash my armpits with it. You know, its every part of my life involves water. I put it on my plants so they can live. You know, water is just you know, i use it all the time. I put it, pour it on my car with some soap to clean it. So were all using water. Youve got to use the water. Youve got to use the water that comes out of the tap. The thames water give you because you cant, like, run a hosepipe from redding. So yeah, thats probably still thames water as well, isnt it . Probably still is. Probably still is. Yeah. Because theyre using victorian water pipes. Thats it. You, you know, you leave out the most important thing. Its the most important thing. Its the victorian. Everything is the victorian. Everything is victorian water pipes. So its great great pipes. So its great great pipes. Then its their old pipes. They need to be fixed. The point is that somebody made some money off of this. And, because they, they, they gave it to a private company to handle it instead of having the government hand. Yeah. And thats the thing. The important thing is that people have walked away with profit whilst leaving the company 15 billion in debt. And now theres nothing you can do about it. Like they they serve as our own poops back into our water. And if you think, well, you know what, i hope they, i hope they go under. And then wed somehow get a worse mortgage from it. So there is no way to get revenge on these people. Thats the annoying thing. Its like the financial crash all over again. Yeah, theyre too big to fail because theyre big water. Yeah. So £15 billion. Thats thats insane. Is there can they claw back any money from, from at least from the, you know, chief execs or whatever . Yeah. Well, no, but because yeah. Well, no, but because theyll just swan off with the money because theyre allowed to. Not that you can be a swan anymore because you probably. You know what . Its 15 billion. That doesnt even sound like a lot of money nowadays. Well, i lot of money nowadays. Well, i dont know how much you get paid at this show, but its certainly more than im getting these days. Well because you because you didnt ask for much because youre english and finally, whats the daily star going with lewis . The daily star , which is lewis . The daily star, which is actually an amazing paper that from the cover , i wouldnt want from the cover, i wouldnt want to read it, but you open it up. I actually theres a theres a copy outside and its just so brilliant. It says, oompa loompa take off the jumpers, the jumpers 21 c plume from germany is there some warm weather from germany . But it didnt just come from germany, it came from somewhere else. It doesnt work that way. We can send it back legally. It says its going to be warm because its 21 degrees in germany, but 21 degrees is only 70 f. Yeah, its not warm warm. Its not warm warm, but its been very cold. Cold , cold. It has been cold. Cold, cold. It has been cold. I was just in i was just in, in folkestone. Yeah. And hythe. And folkestone. Yeah. And hythe. And it was really my friends, the people who saw me down there. And it was cold. Good anecdote. I mean, not only we were hoping for, but still nevertheless, well take it. Well go. I mean, leo, anything to add to a weather story . Theyre always the trickiest ones, arent they . Yeah. Its been cold, and now its going to be a bit warmer, so thats nice. And also, i went to germany once and it was warm. To germany once and it was warm. Yeah. So it must be true. Yeah. So it must be true. Yeah. So theyre not lying when they say this. I believe it when they say this. I believe it could have happened. Well because its continental climate. Thats what it is in climate. Thats what it is in germany. Its part of its in the inside. Its not like here which is close to the water, which is close to the water, which gets gets cold and rainy. Yeah. And its, i think summertime is coming too. I think. I havent checked my calendar. Britains very damp. Britains very damp. I think i preferred the folkestone anecdote. Yeah. Thats weird. That one. Now i look back on it. It was a highlight. It was really lovely in folkestone yesterday for about three, four hours in the morning and then it turned my fault, my fault for bringing it back up, i do apologise, thats the front pages sorted. Coming up. Theres one thing that could keep humza yousaf in a job and is zelenskyy becoming the new lord next. Welcome back to headliners. Im Stephen Allen here with leo kearse and louis schaefer. And we go to the i newspaper. Leo. Just under half of voters want an early general election. So the headline could read just over half of voters enjoy watching rishi sunak suffer. Yeah well i think i think more than half of boris enjoy that. But yeah, half of voters want an early election as rishi sunak refuses to rule out a july vote. So theyve done this, this poll that shows that 40, 47 of the pubuc that shows that 40, 47 of the public would like the elections to be held before the autumn. And interestingly, if you dig into it, youd think maybe the tories wouldnt want a vote because they know that the tories are going to get voted out. A third of tories are like, yeah, im sick of these tories, get them out. So, you know, but i can kind of understand that being a, you know, a right leaning person myself , being a, you know, a right leaning person myself, id rather either have, you know, proper tories or at least, you know, somebody like labour. Dont say that. Theyre tories and then act like labour, like the tories do. But anyway, so this is, this comes as ex Health Minister dan poulter , announced minister dan poulter, announced on saturday he was defecting from the tories to labour, and he urged mr sunak to call a general election as soon as possible. And i think, dan, you know, hes all like, im doing this because im so principled. No, youre doing it because you want a job after, you know, at the end of the year, like hes, you know, i cant look my constituents in the eye. No, you dont want to look people in the eye down at the job centre. You know youre going to lose your job as a tory so. Well, although to be fair, he said he wasnt going to stand at the next election anyway, so he was never going to be a politician after the next election. I was going to dump you anyway. Thats what he said. No, hed already said it. I think there is. You know, its not like, oh, did no one notice when i mentioned this before . Hed already said it. But, the line where he said he couldnt look his patients in the eye so he couldnt look his fellow workers in the nhs in the eye. Now, do you not think. I think that was trickier during the strikes. That would be the awkward time on it when youre a tory mp and your your co workers are on strike. But but how does this compare to the last time that about this time for last like four years ago when they had the same kind of problems theyre having now or eight years ago, i think theres always a time that they want elections. Theres no comparison made , whether its comparison made, whether its more now than later. Although famously, brenda from somewhere in the southwest, that clip with when she was told theres going to be another election when in 2017 was it, or the 2019 one and she was the what, another one . That one. So there was definitely been times when people didnt want elections, but i think the problem is now all were doing is talking about elections without actually having the elections. Yeah, yeah, its like diet coke. Give us the flippin actual business. And i think people realise that the tories theyre doomed. Theyre trash. Theyre gone. And its like. Theyre like all the things that theyre proposing that we have to say that theyre proposing. People are going. Its not, its not important. Yeah, you might as well start proposing unicorns right now because why not . Its just a laugh in it. You aint going to be around to have to deliver them. So yeah, thats what keir starmer is doing. Well, lets crack on to the times, louis. And theres not much political news that will make rishi sunak feel good about his career chances, but hell love reading about humza yousaf. Fill him in. Yes alex salmond names his price to keep humza. Humza yousaf in a job. And, basically he , alex salmond was the main he, alex salmond was the main guy before he was basically stabbed in the back by that horrible woman , Nicola Sturgeon horrible woman, Nicola SturgeonNicola Sturgeon. And hes now and hes got a very big, big, big stick to beat, to beat humza yousaf with, which is one and theyre not called mps. What are theyre not called mps. What are they , msps, msps. Hes got one. They, msps, msps. Hes got one. And he says hey , you know, if and he says hey, you know, if youre nice to me, ill give you, ill let you, ill let you support you and well prop up your because otherwise it would be a minority government. Its like 63. So they were being supported by the greens. But then the greens were like oh my god what . Youre not going to transition children. Youre not going to institute communism straight away. This is disgusting. Because, you know, disgusting. Because, you know, humzas policy is, you know, instituting communism and sterilising children on a five year time scale instead of doing it this week. So yeah, the greens are backed out and yeah. So hes desperate for a for this. The alba party, which is essentially the sort of offshoot of the snp. Its the old snp, the continuity snp. If you like. So ash regan is the one one msp theyve got and the only trouble is like she was in a leadership in the leadership contest with humza yousaf and humza was very scathing of her. And you know, when she decided to quit the party over the gender ideology stuff, humza was like, its no great loss and thats what he sounds like because hes scottish as well, but its interesting. Albert sort of went interesting. Albert sort of went they sort of focus on real issues that actually, you know, are good for, for people like protecting hundreds of jobs at the Grangemouth Oil refinery. So its interesting to see politicians actually acting like politicians actually acting like politicians should instead of, you know, chasing, chasing after some imaginary gender ideology. Of course, theyre going to do that because theyre not in power right now. I mean, if they were in power, they might do they might do something about it. What i got was, is alba is like a feminist. Theyre feminists. Theyre for women. Well for women. And the other one is for trans. Their leader is not, not apparently not the best for women. All the sleepy cuddles and like the court case, found nothing was for legal reasons. We should say everything was disproved. But. Yeah. Well, disproved. But. Yeah. Well, wasnt it disproved . It was disproved. Yeah. Right so lets take that back. Take that back. All right. Ill take that back. But even even if the two confidence votes somehow mean that we still end up with humza yousaf being in charge, its the kind of thing that punctures you under the waterline, isnt it . Yeah. So even if you win the confidence vote, oh, look how weak you are. And this is all about weakness. The bit of the story ive really enjoyed has been when because they decided to get rid of the unattainable green pledge just because the numbers didnt add up. Yeah. The greens said, well, we need to take a vote on whether we still want to partake in this agreement. And that was what made humza used to say, right, well were breaking. No, im im not going to look weak and wait for you to decide. And hes never looked weaker. Hes put himself in the weakest of positions. Yeah, well, it surprised me because i thought. I thought the snp was like huge. I thought the snp was like huge. And they are huge in scotland. Thats your people, right . They are huge. There but they only have 63 out of the 129. Theyre less than half. Yeah. So it isnt like that. Theyve got a majority a vast majority and they probably wont after the next election. They probably wont ever get that that level again unless they do a sequel to braveheart , they do a sequel to braveheart, lewis to the express. And you lewis to the express. And you thought getting a uk passport, the steelworks in the eu was stressful these days, ukraine says, hold my beer. Yes, zelenskyy sparks anger in ukraine with blatantly illegal conscription drive. Hes basically hes basically said if you dont want, if you dont want to be in our army, youre not going to be part of the country and were not going to help you out. So you could, you know, when you leave, you leave and youre not youre not coming back. I and youre not youre not coming back. I think thats what hes saying. Yeah. And also train, you know, change the rules. So if somebodys passport expires while theyre outside the country, they have to get sent back. Country, they have to get sent back. Yeah. And then sent to the back. Yeah. And then sent to the front line. Right. So theyre basically saying you got to fight with us or youre going to die, which is kind of fair. I mean, theres people fighting at the front line. Theres men fighting and dying and also theyre theyre having and also theyre theyre having a fight longer. Theyre not getting put in rotation and coming back. And, you know, just doing their however many months theyre having to having to stay there because they dont have there because they dont have the troops. Because zelenskyy was sort of wary of mobile, you know, doing further waves of mobilisation and lowering the age and things like that. Obviously in russia, they dont have any of these issues. You know, just some guy comes along in a van and like, you know, bundles you in and all of a sudden youve got a rifle pointed at you till you march towards the front line and get blown up by a ukrainian drone. But, you know, ukraine is a as a european country is a bit more, you know, they pay a bit more attention to human rights. Whats interesting, though, is as zaluzhny was in charge of the Ukrainian Armed forces and he was fired by zelenskyy but zaluzhny was very, very popular with the army. He really, you know, cared for the for the army, you know, tried to make sure that, you know, as few as he didnt risk lives unnecessarily, which, you know, theres accusations that zelenskyy and the current, leader czerski, are a bit more cavalier with, with peoples lives. So zaluzhny i think if he, hes been banished, hes now ambassador to the uk. But if he could get, you know, political will behind him getting out oligarch to sponsor him or whatever, he could really mount a serious challenge to , to a serious challenge to, to zelenskyy. And i think, you know, ukrainian politics is starting to get more frayed as the, as the war drags on. What about the people who are in the ukraine or ukraine, who are russian speakers, who dont want to listen to this guy . To listen to this guy . Maybe this is maybe this is his attempt to keep those people out. Out. But a lot of people who were sympathetic to russia , so, you sympathetic to russia, so, you know, crimea and the donbas had, you know, big russian speaking populations. I mean, theres still some sympathy to russia. Obviously, theres a lot of ties between the two countries. But those people were really, you know, the general sentiment was really turned by putins invasion. And, you know, they although previously they were critical of, you know, any sort of western leading eu, facing, movement in ukraine. Now thats, thats sort of changed. Yeah. All right. Lets crack yeah. All right. Lets crack on to the, the eye now, leo, the police have to cut back on how much they spend on forensics. So much they spend on forensics. So now how are they going to solve all of those crimes that they investigate . Whats that . Ive been told they dont even turn up to the crime scene. What do up to the crime scene. What do they do then . Online. I need to delete some tweets. Yeah, well, this is this is the thing. So police use of forensics has been slashed by 99, as awful crisis unfolds. Shame it wasnt 999, because that would be 999. But anyway, so this this forensic guy, he said i ran a lab between 2006 and 2017. We needed at least 6000 hours for four full time scientists. The current level of scientists. The current level of work is not even enough to employ one scientist, apparently, apparently forces paid for less than 1000 hours of fibre analysis per year between 2018 and 2020, so this is equivalent to just 30 hours for each. Each of the forces which is a tiny amount. Hes saying its, you know, 99 drop, but , its, you know, 99 drop, but, you know, technology could have moved on. We could have done it faster. Also, criminals dont wear sweaters anymore. So theres , you know, theres no theres, you know, theres no fibres. Yeah, exactly. Because of global warming. So there of global warming. So there arent the fibres there to analyse and also. Yeah, like you analyse and also. Yeah, like you point out, the police dont actually turn up and investigate crimes anymore unless its a tweet, unless youve retweeted a limerick that some person with blue hair and a nose ring thinks hes transphobic, the police arent coming to your house. No, theyre not coming to your house. And so this is like a non story. Non story. Nobody gets before you say its a non story. This also includes dna testing to prove people innocent that are sat in jail. Yeah. So it feels like less. Im sure they wouldnt call it a non story. Why would you wait for police to do a dna test on you . Theyre the only people whove got the evidence. The only people whove stored it. Theres these. You can have it done privately. You know, the police are using, so they abolished the central forensic, the National Forensic science service, because it was costing too much money. And now they use has been farmed out to private operators and moved in house , so its and moved in house, so its yeah, its another case of sort of cost cutting ending up probably costing more money. Yeah. Including was it some drugs test that actually dont test for drugs. It feels like thats money well spent. You thats money well spent. You could have definitely made a saving there. Well thats that section sorted. In the next one section sorted. In the next one well be giving away vaccines and letting faith schools exclude more people. What could go wrong with either . Next. Welcome back to headliners, lewis to the telegraph. The World Health Organisation would take british vaccines. So if you take british vaccines. So if you dont like the World Health Organisation and you dont like vaccines. Tricky. One to pick vaccines. Tricky. One to pick a side. Lets watch your wriggle. Yes i know, i picked a side. Im against it. First of all, i dont take vaccines anymore. I took vaccines my entire life. Im not interested. Britain would have to hand over 20 of vaccines under pandemic treatment. And this is this is you know, they dont say its the United Nations anymore. The United Nations anymore. Right . So its going to be the World Health Organisation. And theyre saying that according to this guy, david bell, whos a physician, hes saying that what they want to do is they want to they want to do is they want to they want to do is they want to they want all all countries to be able to donate or have give at lower prices, 20 of all the vaccines and, and this is just one more attempt by the, by the world to, to destroy our britain. Leo. Completely agree. Completely agree. No. No. Yeah. I mean, i dont know, i think the World Health Organisation varne theyre just theyre desperately trying to cling on to the power and status of money that they had, obviously, over the pandemic, when, you know, everybody was panicking like, oh my god, theres virus, you know . So everybody was they had all this money and power. And they want to keep the good times rolling. To keep the good times rolling. So theyve like theyre, theyre bringing in these treaties and all this sort of stuff to try. And, you know, in the public sector, departments only ever get bigger. They never get smaller again. When the when the issue goes away. And i think covid has receded as a, as an issue, its, you know, its not the issue. It was i dont see people believing it. I see i see some people i think the number is like 25 or 30 of the people who actually believe in covid, but the rest of the people dont really believe in it anymore. I mean , i believe in it anymore. I mean, i dont believe i didnt believe in it four years ago. I dont believe in it now. So theyre team world, so you dont help you dont like the World Health Organisation taking vaccines that you dont want away from us. Still its a difficult circle for you to square. Well, its not as difficult. Circle for you to square. Well, its not as difficult. Number one, i dont really believe in in viruses , i dont believe i in viruses, i dont believe i dont believe in it and i dont believe in vaccines, which make you believe in anything that begins with a letter vie, i know a girl named valerie. Lovely girl i went to school with. I dont believe it would. Yeah yeah, she went to another school. I dont believe in atoms. Really . Ive never seen one. Yeah, im going to trust the United Nations. Tell me. Ive got atoms in the atoms. Ive got atoms in the atoms. You know what . Do you know what . Youre right not to believe in atoms. It probably atoms. Probably dont even exist. The idea that. There we have it. You know whats interesting . You know whats interesting . You know whats interesting . They say that covid 19. And this is a proper w. H. O. Medical officer. He says covid 19 was barely a problem in some sub saharan africa. Its like, yeah, wonder why that is . Because theyve got other stuff to worry about. You know what i mean . No, the reason why it wasnt a problem is because there was it wasnt. It wasnt caused by it wasnt. It wasnt caused by things that make you make you sick. No, thats. No, its true. Sick. No, thats. No, its true. You sent me videos about not believing in viruses. And even if a shred of it was true, you still the model of presuming viruses exist works with the evidence. So there is nothing evidence. So there is nothing that youve sent me. Ive sat there and watched your youtube videos on there. Not being viruses now my algorithms having a great old time. No if those places in the middle of the world where its nice and warm, they dont get sick. The reason they dont get sick. The reason they dont get sick. The reason they dont get sick is because theyre not trapped indoors on a, on a, on a theyve got no viruses, diseases, theyve got other diseases to die from. Theyve got no aids. Theyve got no aids. And malaria. And malaria. You just said they dont exist out there. So malaria, they dont exist. No they dont, they dont exist. No they dont, you dont, they dont get they dont have whatever this thing is. Covid thing. Leo to the telegraph. Theyre scrapping the cap on faith school admissions. Lets get kids even more siloed on religion because thats going to go well, isnt it. Exactly. Yes. So Gillian Keegan is going to axe the 50 rule on faith school admissions, this is ending a policy that forces faith schools to keep half of their places open for children of different religions. Children of different religions. So then, if youve got a good performing faith school, you know, people who arent of that faith can send their kids to that school. So when the cap was introduced, it was argued that it would stop the proliferation of hardline religious schools. However, ministers now think that hardline religious schools are a good thing and want more of them. What we need is more wahhabist madrassas funded by saudi arabia. We need more hardcore Mormon Scientologist schools , you know what i mean . Schools, you know what i mean . Its going to be fantastic. Well, they say that its the cap had little impact and instead had little impact and instead had the undesired effect of preventing Catholic Schools from expanding. But faith schools are a pretty terrible idea. They indoctrinate kids when theyre the most vulnerable, the most pliable brains. So i mean, on the one hand, youre not getting indoctrinated into gender ideology , but youre getting ideology, but youre getting indoctrinated into, you know, whatever faith it is , and the whatever faith it is, and the oversight, i dont trust the oversight. You get these reports of faith schools, you know, teaching kids, you know, things that certainly wouldnt be taughtin that certainly wouldnt be taught in a normal state school about homosexuality or when you should stone a woman to death or , you know, that type of thing. Thats the bit that makes you laugh. Thats all the things. Laugh. Thats all the things. No, i agree with what youre saying. Its the whole thing is ridiculous. What are we doing . What is the state sending people to faith schools . If they want to, if they want, if they if they want our money, let them get. They cant have our money. Let them get their own money. Let them get their own money. Let them get their own money. Let them have their let them. Let them have their let them. Its our money. Were going to have our own schools. So why have our own schools. So why should we send them into a Catholic School or a Muslim School or whatever other kind of schools that there are . Yeah. And also, why are state schools introducing their own religion of gender ideology and teaching that why dont we just have all ideologies just, you know , not around schools. Let know, not around schools. Let the kids, you know, grow up, not getting just teach them actual things and stuff. Teach them about atoms , vaccines, things about atoms, vaccines, things that matter. Change your tune of this. Change your tune of this. This should they do exist after all, louis, the daily mail shocking footage of someone being racist. But. And its a big but yeah, but. And its a big but yeah, she was being racist about white people, so crack on your golden. Yeah. So its shocking moment. Proper shocking moment. Pro palestine protester tells counter demonstrators demonstrator. Youre just a white person. We dont like white person. We dont like white people at ucla. As protest continues to roil royal us and this is this is more bad news in america. I remember this happening. During the vietnam war. You probably dont remember because we havent had it. I because we havent had it. I dont know whether they had it 20 years ago, but every 20 years or 40 years, they have a they have a kind of a revolution thats happened. And now they theyre happening. Basically, people dont like jews. I dont know what it is about the jews, but maybe they see the show they saw. My show didnt make them laugh, said, hes supposed to be funny. Hes not funny. But his demonstrations , demonstrations. Demonstrations, demonstrations. They dont want anybody arrested because they might have to kick him out of the school if theyre going with. And every person is paying going with. And every person is paying £80,000 to go to school , paying £80,000 to go to school, well, thats what thats what it is. So they basically bought, theyve bought, theyve ability to be anti semitic because some of the stuff theyre chanting , of the stuff theyre chanting, like theyre not just chanting stuff like from the river to the sea, which could arguably be, you know, considering nobody knows which river and which sea, you know, its just like a funny thing. Theyre theyre chanting, but theyre chanting things like kill the jews. Thats pretty unarguably, regardless of context, i dont think even the met police could find a context in which thats not anti semitic. Thats ridiculous. But the whole thing about this, you know, this anti semitism on campus now, the reason this is flourishing and the reason its got to this point is because anti whiteness has been celebrated and pushed as a, as a, as an ideology on University Campuses and in popular media, you know, youve got Critical Race Theory and you can see, you know, even in the comedy industry , its like, move over industry, its like, move over pale, stale males. And so its great to see you both again. But but yeah, theyve been pushing this anti whiteness. And because that went unchecked nobody put their foot down and said you know the Martin Luther king thing of like no were going to judge people based on the content of their character rather than the colour of their skin, because it was allowed for whiteness. Its now being whiteness. Its now being allowed for anti semitism. Well, and thats the problem. Somebody asked me, why do people still hate the jews . They hate the jews is because the jews basically latch ourselves on to the side that said power and then people who are not in power go after that. And then jews get knocked out and then it happens again. Its were doomed. Were we are doomed by these bunch of losers. Youre right about that depressed thing. Earlier on. Oh, my god, im in a bad way, leo, the Guardian Charities dont hire enough working class people, apparently. Of course they dont. It would be a waste because working class people dont have dinner parties with quinoa when they can virtue signal about their jobs. Duh. Duh. Duh. They probably do now in britain in 2024, but yeah, so charities are hiring staff with privilege rather than potential. According to the author of a report highlighting the stark class divide in the charity sector. So working class people are less likely to be hired by charities. And also theyre charities. And also theyre finding it harder to climb the career ladder inside charities, with the report highlighting how charity chief executives are twice as likely as the Wider Population to have gone to private school. Right . Right rising to three times as likely for the biggest charities. Obviously i mean, charities arent meritocracies. They get given money by confused old people mostly. And, you know, theyve got no incentive to get theyve got no incentive to get the best person because their whole job is to spend money on stupid, useless people who cant get a job in a proper organisation. And also all charities and all of them, all of them are basically sort of beholden to social justice ideology. So, you know, they, ideology. So, you know, they, you know, working class people are less likely to believe in Critical Race Theory and gender ideology. And number one, ideology. And number one, because, you know, Critical Race Theory and gender gender ideology are completely idiotic, and number two, because working class people are too busy working to actually sit down and read the guardian cover to cover and find out about these ridiculous ideas. And they cant, they cant. They cant believe that, that these charities that theres big money involved, that they can make some money, they want to go to some kind of business that can can make some money. And so theyve been so the poor working class people, you feel for them that theyve been lied to. Theyve been told that, you know, that theres money outside of charities. And the whole the whole world is a charity is a charity. But look, all the times they give you know, i pay £2 for these tires. This is one of the tires. Yeah. I got this. I got this in folkestone and hythe. Folkestone just the last section to go and sit tight. If youd like to hear about a pub night out. Could be very different with drugs and gay animal sex. Thats two stories. I should have paused to make that obvious. Two different stories. Next. Welcome back to headliners. Leo. The guardian should ads for gambling be allowed on the London Underground . As if its not enough of a gamble to touch a handrail down there. Yeah, its the Online Casino company. 888. Com will withdraw adverts from locations including londons transport network after a backlash, prompting criticism of the capitals mayor, sadiq khan, for allowing them to appearin khan, for allowing them to appear in the first place. This is controversial because tfl , is controversial because tfl, transport for london, previously blocked adverts featuring things like artisanal cheese because apparently its too high fat and also a cake , that was a poster also a cake, that was a poster for a play. It wasnt even advertising cakes. It just there was a poster for a play that had a cake in it, like it was a wedding theme as well, wasnt it . Yeah, it was on the money. Its not like a random cake cropped in for no good reason. Yeah, exactly. But, you know, theyre worried, you know, and also, wimbledon tennis tournaments. Strawberries and cream, which is, which is healthy because its got strawberries in it. Its certainly, you know, its not its not healthy because it has strawberries which are sugar based and it has cream. And you could look at anything as not healthy. The point about this is they havent they havent been forced to do anything. They just said were not going to advertise it, which is a form of advertising. So suddenly this is in every single newspaper. It was a great pubuchy newspaper. It was a great publicity thing. Im going to not advertise something. Im going to not, and maybe people will pay. Pay more attention to me. This is this is just, this is just whats his name . Whos the mayor . Sadiq khan. This is just sadiq khan wants to, like, pretend like hes doing something and hes not. But it does seem really petty. And is, the tory, rival for the mayors election, which is coming up pretty soon, shes called susan hall, and i didnt know that until. No, i called susan hall, and i didnt know that until. No, i mean, i did know it, but i think its, you know , she doesnt get you know, she doesnt get enough. Lets do a bit of advertising for her. Well, she should refuse to advertise on London Underground. And then it would be a story. We could talk about it. She should put a picture of her holding a cake and a big thing of cheese on a poster on London Underground. Then thatll get banned. Then people will know who she is. Famously, she cant get on the London Underground because she had an oyster card nicked. Do you remember the story when she was complaining about the theft on London Underground is terrible. She lost an oyster card and it was like sent back to her because she dropped it on the tube. So if thats the worst crime you face, then maybe its the least, least of your worries. I should also say, though, about the advertising cake, wedding cake is particularly bad for you because it is the one that definitely makes some people fat, inasmuch as as soon as theyve eaten that one, give it a year or two. Yeah. So it seems to me theres a high correlation with. Yeah, louis, the metro gay sex developed in animals to keep the peace, which is handy information. The next time you get a road rage incident. Well, you know what . We dont know if this is true. Gay sex between animals evolved for a very important reason. And this is a study that was done about and of a of a man, a study, i guess it was a study. This guy jose gomez, and he, he, he tracked every kind of interesting species who have kind of, you know, homosexual type actions with each other , except the ones with each other, except the ones that matter, which is us, which is, which is humans. And its basically basically they they have no idea why people they dont it said, it said that it did, but they have no idea why animals basically they said why are they doing it basically. Are they doing it basically. Well, they say it happens more in animals where the animals kill each other, tend to kill each other. But then they say, like, you know, you get gay penguins and gay albatrosses. How does that even work . They how does that even work . They dont have like, i dont think theyve got penises. So they rub their cloaca together is i want to see some footage. Birds have penises, but they just have really small penises. I dont think they do. I think theyve just got. Theyve got a uni hole called a cloaca. The. No, thats the cloaca is the. Thats thats how they. Yeah, thats the poop from. Yeah, thats the poop from. Its not where i poop from the. No. Because youre not a avian or a reptile. But theyve ive been called a reptile. Birds, ducks famously have a corkscrew penis. Yeah, right. Its. And does it make that noise when youre all the way out . But they call it same sex mating, and theres no mating going on. So how could it be same sex mating . Oh, yeah. Its what is. What is that called . This meeting. Because its two you can meet. No, it doesnt mate. It feeds to keep the peace. Their mates afterwards that then go down the pub and then all of a sudden no fighting. I dont think so. I think mating, i think mating has to do with, you know, something happening. Leo, the daily star, what would happen if pubs could sell alcohol and cannabis . I would stand a better chance at that pub quiz. That pub quiz. So the pub sesh could change if people got high instead of drunk. Experts say, wow , i drunk. Experts say, wow, i wonder how long you got to study to work that one out. So yeah, theyre looking at legalising cannabis in britain. This is the state the you know, the deep state, whoever youre talking about team world want to legalise cannabis because it keeps people just compliant and dull minded. So they want people smoking weed instead of doing more exciting , fun drugs that more exciting, fun drugs that cost more money. But basically what would happen to pubs is theyd play more goa trance and theyd play more goa trance and the jukebox. The curtains would smell, you know, thered be a lot more paranoia, i think its ridiculous. And also they say , ridiculous. And also they say, oh, the alcohol is linked to so many bad things, like, eating kebabs and fuelling antisocial behaviour like football hooliganism. Im sorry, but football hooliganism, number one, its like the one thing that makes football interesting. Number two, i think, you know, it makes the state a little wary of the people when they see mobs. You know , charging around. Mobs. You know, charging around. And, you know, i think i think the state should be on its toes. Ive never seen any football hooliganism. Yeah. It doesnt exist. Doesnt exist. You dont think viruses exist. And weve got less than a minute. But lets try and cover this. Lewis, the daily mail more words. Were banned from saying now includes dont say lame, say cheesy. I dont say lame, say cheesy. I dont think you should call someone with one leg cheesy. How does that. Yes, well, this is visitbritain, which is part of the british government. I guess they issued a 50 page inclusivity guide advising against words like black list, man hours and blind spots. And theyve spent 54 billion. Their budget is £54 billion. And they told everybody not to use any of these words because. Because they sound funny. Yeah it is like a tyranny sketch where you cant say manchester anymore. Yeah. Its got that level to it. It literally is. So instead of saying, man up, youve got to say brave and instead of sanity check you could say confidence check. Id say it instead of calling them visitbritain, they should be called dont visit britain. Its full of just nanny state idiots like this. But it was just suggestions. I dont think they were actually going to like force people to actually follow this. Well, the show is nearly over, so lets crack to on take another look at mondays front pages. The daily mail tens of thousands exploiting hidden asylum loophole. The telegraph uk loophole. The telegraph uk attacks eu double standards on migrants. The Guardian Home Office to detain uk Asylum Seekers in shock rwanda move. The times says depressed and anxious face losing their benefit and eye news. Sunak to resist early election as tory rebels on manoeuvres. Finally, the star says umpah umpah coffee jumpers, whatever that means. Those are your front pages. Thats all weve got time for. Thank you to my guest tonight leo kearse and louis schaffer. Simon evans will be here tomorrow at 11 pm. With nick dixon and cressida wetton. And if you are watching at 5 am. Sit down, get yourself sorted and stay tuned for breakfast till the next one. Have a good one. That warm feeling inside from boxt boiler dollars. Sponsors of weather on. Gb news. Weather on. Gb news. Hello heres your latest weather update from the met office for gb news. We hold on to rather mixed weather conditions across the uk during the week ahead. Rain at times, but temperatures will also be on the rise. At the moment. Low pressure is in charge, sitting out towards the east of the uk, this weather front bringing outbreaks of rain towards the north east of the uk, coupled with fairly brisk winds too, and certainly as we head through the evening, a pretty wet end to the day across the far north east of scotland. And we do hold on to outbreaks of rain across the Northern Isles through the night. Elsewhere therell be some clear spells, but notice showers moving in from the west, starting to give way to some more persistent rain across the far west of the uk by the morning on monday, temperatures will turn quite chilly under the clear slots towards the north and east because the a touch of frost briefly, but elsewhere its a relatively mild night. As we go into monday, well see an east west split outbreaks of rain in the west moving in across Northern Areas during the day to, whereas out towards the east and southeast well see the best of the dry and often fairly sunny weather. And in the sunshine it will be warmer than in recent days. Up to 16 or 17 degrees held back a little bit towards the north and northwest with those showers at 12 or 13 celsius on tuesday, well see further outbreaks of rain out towards the west. Again, some of that could be quite hefty in nature. Further east there will nature. Further east there will be some sunshine and just 1 or 2 showers, particularly across the east and southeast of england. And again, those temperatures will be a little bit higher still could see high teens in a few spots. It does stay quite changeable weather wise through the rest of the week, but notice those temperatures hold up to could see 19 or 20 degrees in a few spots, certainly from wednesday onwards. Thats it for me. Ill see you soon. Bye bye. Me. Ill see you soon. Bye bye. A brighter outlook with boxt solar , the sponsors of weather solar, the sponsors of weather on. Good evening. Im ray addison in the gb newsroom. Our top in the gb newsroom. Our top stories this hour. The Shadow Health secretary says doctor dan poulter has not been offered a peerage to defect from the tory party to labour. Wes streeting is defending doctor poulters decision, saying it shows only sir keir starmer can be trusted with the nhs. Doctor. Poulter with the nhs. Doctor. Poulter says hell sit on the labour benches until the next general election and then stand down comes just days before local elections across england and wales. And the Prime Minister this morning refused to rule out a general election in july. Wes streeting says doctor poulter defected to save the nhs. There have been millions of people, disaffected conservative voters like dan poulter out there, who can see the chaos, and the conservative party see the failure to deliver and are looking at the alternative. And looking at the alternative. And id ask those people to trust the doctor whos seen the conservative party up close. Well, thats the labour view. Policing minister chris philp is defending the governments handung defending the governments handling of the nhs, pointing to record levels of spending just in the last year alone, the nhs has grown by 68,000 staff and there are today 7000 more doctors and 21,000 more nurses than there were a year ago. Than there were a year ago. Tens of thousands of people each year are fleeing the welsh run nhs. Sorry , the labour run nhs in sorry, the labour run nhs in wales to have treatment in england. England. Former immigration minister Robert Jenrick is calling for a cap on net migration, saying its the only way to restore voters trust. Mr jenrick says he wants a far more restrictive system allowing less than 100,000 people a year, writing in the sunday telegraph, he said the governments recently passed rwanda bill will join the graveyard of policies that failed to tackle illegal migration last 30 years. Politicians of all stripes have promised controlled and reduced immigration only to deliver the opposite and the pubuc deliver the opposite and the public are rightly furious at whats happened. Its placed immense strain on housing, on pubuc immense strain on housing, on public services, on community cohesion. Well, meanwhile, labour says rishi sunak needs to wake up and realise that his migration plan isnt working. Thats after Home Office Figures show that more than 7000 people have arrived illegally by small boats so far this year. Labours shadow immigration minister, stephen kinnock, says his party will