Transcripts For FOXNEWSW Gutfeld 20240703

S. Yes, yes. I know. I know. I know. I know. I would do the same thing in. Your position. Its friday, so you knoweans what that means. Lets welcome tonights guest, cooper, thats calls him the man of steel, Fox News Contributor johnny list. Kennedy has insight. Ght an and plus, a worm didnt eatm her brain. Joseph kennedy saved the world podcast. Kenned y, like freddy krueger, he owns lot of eraserssleeps and sleeps in a boiler room. Comedian and foundern of westen Razor Company david angelo and frail pale and can escape, e from any jail. New york times bestselling author and Fox News Contributorm gopft that. All right. Before we to some new stories lets do this. Yeah gregs leftovers. Mm hm. Its the leftovers where i rea d jokes. We did news this week, and asisw always, its Theeekee First Time im reading them. So if they , well dress. Joe mackie as a dog and send him to kristi noem. Er unless the weathers bad. Sunday is mothers day, and we actually our hands on a few Celebrity Cards like thist one. Mom, thanks for not murdering dad. Ing dad,happy mothers day. I love chelsea. By the way, bill clintons planning to get up earlynd and prepare breakfast in bed, and then ill go home to hillary bed. Hter ] low. And this one is nice. Hey, step mos onm, what are youp till eight . Want a party . Love, hunter to part. Oh, the guy thats in that boundaries. All right, dear mom, happy mothers day. See you soon. Love. I dont know what that means. All right, lets do some jokes. Chicag ko mayor johnson wants to move Illegal Immigrants away from Whereal Immig Democrat Conn takes place this summer. Its the same strategye democrats are using on joeus biden. New York Governor Kathy Hochul came under fire for saying there are, quote, Young Black Kids growing up in the Bron Kidg Upx who evew what the word computer is. Hochul saying i shouldnt have left out the mexicans. I know, i know. Racist. In a racist. Terrible. In awith cnnn interview with cne burnett, joe biden claimed inflation was 9 when he took office, when it Wat Waspercen actually 1. 4t. . Burnett then stuck, stumped biden with another math problem ,asking how many grandchildren s he has. Luke skywalker. Actor mark hamill teamed up m with President Biden at a may 4th press conference. Pressthe two reminisced overh a the time. Darth vader said, i am der saidyour father and all the. Hunter said he wasntthe following the press or the biden and both biden and hamill took a photo together. Apple computers has released new a new ad depicting a bunch of stuff getting crushed d flat in a hydraulic press. Unfortunately, it doesnt include. K. This book, according to a, tech influencer. You can tell a persons age by how perso he types on his pho for example, heres a text i got from kudlow. I on tuesday, a new york city couples first date was interrupted by a Carjackin Carj for their second date, theyre trying something more romantic, getting pistoy ad on a horse drawn carriage. Blac black lives mattelir is suing the Times Foundation a progressive outfit that fundsu the antiisrael protests, suing foem for fraudin. Sad. Sad. Now, where will stupid white ladies waste their money stupi c . A chic New York Hotel has been converted into a migran neo right in the heart of broadway, where the streets are filled with destitute unstable,ut unemployable, homeless. But enough about the actors. A wisconsin teacher named Madison Bergmann was arrested for allegedly out with a fifth grade student. I know, but in her defense, she was auditioning for a new gamehn show. Are you . Higher than a fifth graderha . It really is hard. Ten more Boeing Whistleblowers have come forward bringing number so far to 32 sorry, 30 one, 30 that now its 29. Well just update you later. According to a new study, women who dont move their heads when they talkwome are likely to be psychopaths. Well, thats the dumbest thin g i ever heard, said one woman. N incr Research Shows an increase in lgbtq related content in medical schools. Its great news if you needho a gynecologist who knows how to treat jockho. Ohio states Commencement Speaker admitted he was ayahuasca drug when he wrote his awful speechr admi. S awfu graduates cringed throughout. Theywhat made it worse wasspeec. Realizing they graduated from ohio state. Yeatoh go buckeyes. I dont know. And a woman claims that she has a addiction and Cannot Stopomp at prompting one man to offer her a job at cnn offer. All right. To the to the news. Rs janitors call the bluffoter on rioters. Guff the Custodians Union plans to sue Columbia University over the antiisrael protestanti violence. All right. The blue collar and woment to who do their best to keep the School Pristine say they were mistresse added whenok the antisemitic took over a historic buildinr historg las. They barricaded themselves inside and left the plac barrice shape than a baltimore bridge, calling out the president s cowardice for allowing her employees to suffer. Tsorallowithe union boss told s Called Fox And Friends Thifrsn E everybody in the building, the entire tier of your workforcnge in the building was. Fearful and rightfully so. They stormed in, but in but particular to two of thehad to custodians had to fight their way out. Imagine that. Imaginheir way. E two kind of smi sort of entitledle spoiled, bratty occupiers. The building come in and tell these blue collar men and women, youre not goinn yoe gr anywhere. Youre staying here because this cause is bigger than you. When they had to get home to their families. Its outrageous. Its an affront to work is everywhere. They should have had whee to me to ous, its antheir their heads dumped in toilets. Meantime, author heathen toiy explores why so many young women are leading protests. In her piece, hysterics for hamas. One reason the differences in majors. She that hard science and econen students are mostly men who are less likel stus y ditch clas to protest. While humanities and Social Sciencesprotest which offer exa ofedit for activism, are mostly. And so you havteste the front l of protests manned by over koreans who actually believe burning flags and Sprawhy Painting Graffiti should count toward a college degree. Heathetowardr calls todays Vicm Ideology that drives academia. Vi character quote. Student protests have always been hilariously selfent dramatizing, but the current outbreak is particularly Modeletbreak Iaudlind in in keey with female selfpity. And it doesnt hurt to havesh t females pushed to the front by the organizers Knowintht Gal the media will jump all over the police if they appear to get toof with the girls. So on one side, you have hard working and on the other, barely working babies dining, sl catered meals while clutching their pearls. It shouldnt be hard clutchin. The pick a side. Well, unless youre the mediaed who pretend thisia is about pea when its really about class, its not versus palestinians, its elites versus the working clasinians, the wos. Its why protesters always get a pass when they shut down traffipasst downc, Blocking Haro people from getting to their place of work. Irits pampered brats with trust funds and no experience versus b people with real jobs being victimized by Pampered Expes with trust funds and no experience. But since the mediarience. , n. But since media are more likenyn the protesters than anyone with a reae real l job, you knw who theyre going to back. You know, janitors have been and assaulted and falsely imprisoned by socalled Peaceful Protestery Impriss In S The Media that is cleaning up the mess. Its the the M Real Cleaning Jol journalists do besides cleaningn out their office after they get fired because no one trust them. Tr the so how many journalists s it take to screw in a light bulb . In i dont know. Done its never been done. I love that joke. H means which means, ironically, the custodians will be the onesd who end up getting trash. Triple j . Yeah. How are you doing . Im good. You look fantastic. Let me borrow the shirt. O yeah, no problemproble. Yo little big on you, though, dont you think so . You have this, like, contrastt e and item seems like peopl the only people that care about these people aree e. Like this network. Like, where is the New York Times . Where doesk. The washington. . You know, i dont understand the problem here, because from what i understand, words i dth harmful and violent. So if i were one of those janitors, i would have just starteid saying hateful things. C and as they cowered in front of me, walked right out of theirnt of me, its like ite the general mattis used to say, be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone. You meeto. And so, you know, theres what those janitors should have been thinking jan. Y it i hate to say it, but imne one of those guys that, like i live for that moment , you know, wins the dayp that somebody tries to trap me into a Broom Closeme ioom clostd because theres weapons all around. And im not advocating for violence and i for im just sayinghave the janitor should have taken violence to get out of there. I guessolence t. Would you like to be trapped in a broom closet . N hour after this show. Yeah, but im not trying to get ut of that. Oh, yeah, i had nicely done w. Kennedy, what do you make of this lawsuit . How do you think i make oft pla . I hope they go afters 13 columbias 13 billion endowment. I really do. They have so much mone endowmy and iwant g dont want government involvement here. Tinvolv but i hope its one oe things that makes these universitiesings stand up and t notice. And i want more schools to treat this nonsensei want. The university of florida versus my alma mater, ucla and columbia, because, you know, as you out on the show, it does violate free speech, you know, Property Destruction and false imprisonment. Thats not free speecd falsel yeah, you know, im all for legal, lawful protest. It is. Theres a reason itt. Is enshrined in the First Amendment that is not thisthis. And by the way, those broads and their fake officers they bought on amazon. They are getting their Talking Points disseminated to Them Directlyar from hamas. And there hasnt been enough reporting on that. On thatbut is certainly a lot of evidence for that. On some of the Telegram Channels where people are tesling down these hamas video and feeding them directly to groups like students for justic g e and palestine. And i asked trey yingst, i had him on my podcast today. T so what is it like covering an actual humanitarian versus thiss manufactured crisis on these College Campuses . And he said, i hate to laughthes at people, but its laughable el these college kids can leave at any moment and go an but people who have been displaced, people who have nowhere to go and no food. They dont have such luxuries. So it is not a humanitarian crisis on these College Campuses and you do not get to holde coll people their will. Im not im not sure its a better deal to be able to leave ,go to chipotle. I mean, i. F you want to loseu weight, its great. Its great for losing weight. David, im so glad you decidedf to take off that i love hamas tshirt you were wearingthat. H you know, it just clashed with the background. I donwitht stand with you. Whose side are you . Whose whose side of mine . S you need to pick a side. Ut you know what i say. Let them fight it out. Yes. Why are you trying to Comeo Resc In and Rescue Colombia . I dont care. I doe six months out from that being the angela davis. Hool of sharia law i mean, what are they. Id say feed them the fire, you know. Yeah, yeah. Rename colombia. Yeah. Call us before columbus. Is that what its named after. Well, colombia, i mean, you know, youve got to you o the you have you have your enemies. Yeah. Acting foolishly. Yeah. Dato what they need. Hind t no, i mean there is a there is a theory behind that. Just let becauseha basically the monster eating itself. Yeah. Itse is, what it is and its like, all right. Yes. Theres a lot of women doinges the protest, but women have always like bad boys, you know, hummus but. Thats everyone knows. Yeah, everyone knows that. You know, in the in the it used to be james dean, now jam its mujahideeesn. Oh, that was a nice line. It for them because those guysr prefer the goats. Sogoat what can you do kat, what are your thoughts on the fact that Protest Yous Pre but Prima Donna Billy Predominantly female. Mm yeah. S . So for lets just say somedayass that im assassinated by The Governmentin , okay . And people are protesting in my honor, right. Rst of first of all, thank you so much. But like, youve got to let the janitor go. Like, like the dude has spent all day being a janitor, right . Like, let him go home. So this attitude of, like, this, cause is bigger. Like,i dont care what the caue even if it is my own assassination, if dude spend all day literally cleaning up. Yeah. And hi s is done, let himle go home. Like, you know, youre not going to win over anybodt hi y by not letting the janitor go homtor goe. It does. It does feel like the ploto to like a re redefine of die hard. The janitor, the janitorg, s trapped in a building surrounded by protesters. The tagline is like custodian time, take out the trash and thats right. And its jason stadium. Yeah, jason stated, the silent, brooding janitor who keeps to himself. But he had a secret path. You as a a s a paid killer in serbia. Yeah. Lets. We have right to ultimate free speech the constitution. No right, in the Constitution Ct To Kidnap A janitor. Yeahitto. Yes. And he has a love interest, right . This girl that got pulled into the. Into the protest, it didnt know and not what was thinking. She might be like a psych professor. I bet they could find broom closet. Yes, exactly. This broom great. Somebody better not be ripping me offt be right now at home. Custodian. Time to take out the trash. Hell mop the floors with you. I your death is on his bucket list. Yeah, all right. I never. Madness. Up next. Bet youd never see the day. R ehillary a play if hell be in the new york area and like tickets to gutfeld go tofeld , foxnews. Com Slash Gutfeld foxnews. Com Slash Gutfeld and click on the link to join our studio audience. If you have chronic kidney disease, you can reduce disease, you can reduce the risk of Kidney Failure with par sica because there or are places genit youd like to e more secure that can cause serious side effects, includingr a rare, life threatening bacterial infection in the skin of the perineum could occur. Stop taking for zika and call your doctor right away if you have symptoms of this infection. An allergic reaction, or ketoacidosis. A only purples Gel Flex Grid passes the raw egg test. Reaction, or ketoacidosis. A heart attack do no other mattress cradles your body and simultaneously supports your spine. Memory foam doesnt come close. Get your best sleep guaranteed. Save up to 800 during our memorial day sale. Visit purple. Com or a store near you [ ] its video of the day greg would you rather be on a flight with a terrorist or have hillary as your therapist . Yeah, that democrats favorite hag think she has broadway in the bag. Video of the date comes from us from americas biggest or loser, that never was president is producing a Broadway Musical about suffragettes and its called suffs. Her husband bill of course in charge of the casting couch. But its nice to see hillary producing something besides fake dossiers about trump. She stopped by morning joe took promoted but they instead took the opportunity to trauma dump her anxiety about trump. I wonder if they will call this part of the Segment Therapy with hillary. I like to call a part of this Segment Therapy with hillary. What do you say to people when they ask you about the former president , these trials and these delays and the fear that they feel . About the upcoming election. Well im happy to go to therapy with you anytime because clearly the pressure on the stress on our system, our country, our constitution, our future is so intense. For those of us who understand whats at stake, and i dont mean that in a, you know, derogatory way to others but if you have been in this world as you and i have and youve studied it and you watched it, it is a very difficult time right now. Madam secretary, Therapy Session obviously officially over now. Weight, i need more. Greg of course if you want more therapy, that makes sense, you are married to Joe Scarborough for gods sake. But hillary could not stick around, she had to get back to her crypt to avoid exposure to daylight. Kennedy, is there anything more insufferable than anything that hillary i mean suffs, its insufferable. The route is there for a reason. She wants us to believe shes suffered there for the nation has suffered and if the nation had made the right decision in 2016, or maybe if she had spent some time and gone to wisconsin, then she would be at the tail end of her second term. There would have been no pandemic, there would have been no inflation. We all know this is a steaming load of bull [ bleep ] and to borrow a phrase, she is a Warmongering Harpy who is seeded with other insufferable narcissists and they are also incredibly damaged that when they talk about therapy it sounds like parity because they all need to go to longterm Inpatient Treatment so we dont see them for months or maybe years. Greg yeah, kat, they just seem so weak. I love how mika said what do you say to people when they talk about their fears of trump. Why dont you just say im scared. What do you say when people you are the people just in general i would have so much more respect for Hillary Clinton if she would just be herself. Like, shes a mean scary person. Just own that, be mean. It comes off as so inauthentic when they try to present her as this feeling gentle like shes Hillary Clinton is not the friend you go to probably for, like, healthy wise mind advice. Shes the friend you go to when you want, like, the toxic diabolical advice. Greg how i can dump a body. Therapy with Hillary Clinton, im not buying it. Maybe if its like blame the other woman and bleed a whole country in bullying her, that i would buy. Or the lady at the Table Screaming at me because her soup is in hot with Hillary Clinton. Like she would just be diabolical, i would at least have respect for the authenticity there. Nobody really wants a hug from Hillary Clinton because she just looks like shed squeeze too hard. Greg yes david, are you excited about the musical . You seem like a guy who loves musicals. Im actually the understudy for susan b anthony. You know, ive never heard of the musical but its so bizarre if you are in the arts world, to partner with Hillary Clinton. Its like yeah, ive got a new Interpretive Dance Show im doing with henry kissinger. Greg i love that reference because you know he died a couple of months ago. The cia had you believing that, greg. This guy, hes in a bunker calling the shots. Greg but the name itself, its like like that would appeal to a younger demographic. We dont call them suffragettes, we called them suffs. Thats what it is on the streets. Also i mean just when you are buying tickets, how do you spell suffragettes . I mean i wouldnt know how, id be going to kats matinee. I would never be able to put that word in. Greg monosyllabic musicals exactly. All right joey, i love the fact that hillary is like trying to find things to do in her life but everything she does doesnt pan out. Didnt she have a tv show on apple with her insufferable daughter . And karaoke or something . Greg they were singing in the car. Thats right cost over 8000 suicides caused all people who shot themselves as they were running away. First of all therapy is [ bleep ]. Thats what woodworking a needlepoint are for, depending on your traditional gender role. Aside from that nobody will ever have the effect on their enemies that trump has had. No matter how many palms i took apart with my hands or my feet, no matter how many terrorists killed, we will never have the effect on the taliban and that trump has on democrats. They absolutely hate him for being alive and not imprison. She needs therapy, shes struggling. Be in her position. Trump stole the election and no one gave enough of a [ bleep ] just on the capital. She absolutely isnt such such a terrible place. But she did do therapy for a little while, she was doing it with the va and thats how we got to 22 a day. Greg true. Its interesting though. I think that they are moving into the acceptance face of a trump presidency. Because watching that cnn thing and you realize if this were a poker game, cnn folded. Pretty soon trump is going to have to meet with, like, the deep state because they are going to have to assume hes president. You know,. Up next, ya know, if you were cashbacking you could earn on everything with just one card. Chase freedom unlimited. So, if youre off the racking. Or crab cracking, youre cashbacking. Cashback on flapjacks, baby backs, or tacos at the taco shack. Nah, im working on my six pack. Switch to a king suite or book a silent retreat. Silent retreat . Hold up yeeerp . I cant talk right now, im at a silent retreat. Cashback on everything you buy with Chase Freedom Unlimited with no annual fee. How do you cashback . Chase. Make more of whats yours. A story in five words. [ ] greg crazy broads dont move heads. David. How are you doing over there . Fantastic. Greg good, heres some crazy research from the university of new mexico. Women who are psychopaths dont move their heads while talking. They exhibit traits like manipulation that calluses, lack of remorse but they also dont move their heads. When you are on stage, do you ever notice . When there are women in their audience and their heads are still, does that scare you . Well usually theres nobody in the audience so. I dont have a great sample size. Greg do you buy this . I guess, i dont know. Their heads dont move . Greg yeah. Lets watch friend to respond first and i will way in. Greg you have no opinion . On if i had moving greg yeah. I think if theres a knife in the teeth, thats a bigger signal to me, you know. Greg thats good, thats good. Kat, i was thinking about how when you watch tiktok you see the crazy ladies, their eyes their head is like completely stock and their eyes are bulging, their face is frozen, they are shouting at you about something, but could that just be a Reverse Correlation that like tiktok forces people to do that as opposed to those people do it on tiktok . I dont know. I think people are different on tiktok then i rl. Greg thank you. But i also think the study is useless because you will never notice if a psychopath is moving their head or not because you are going to be so is he being charmed by them. Like every psychopath ive ever met was like the nicest weed as percent to me. Im like oh, they are doing that because they want to ruin my life. Greg heymac you notice how much kat was moving her head . Just a try to throw us off. Greg did it again look at her this is not a fair judge because i have such a fun ponytail. I hate to give that away to all the psychopaths watching but if you dont want to be found out, put in a fun ponytail and then you will want to move it all around. Greg thats true. Overcompensation, joey. If you are a psychopath you just move your head more, it a ponytail. Yeah. Im not in that phase, im not ready to transition. We havent made it there yet. Trump might still win, theres still hope. Listen, i know a trap when i see one and i dont know if i look like the kind of guy that just walks on boobytraps to you, but i dont think partaking in this topic is the best thing for me. If you were going to ask my dad he would say you can tell a woman is crazy buy if she is breathing. Greg that is so sexist. Hes dead, dont get mad. Whatever. If you watch monty python the holy grail, its if a woman ways the same as a dock. Or wait, thats a witch. I dont know. Im kind of with kat, the more psycho someone is, the less you can figure it out. The whole premise of the study is tell if they are a psychopath or just a really rotten person. Its like you really need to know one or the other . Greg just a away,. Kennedy, is there an ideal amount of turns per minute someone should be doing . I thought that was annoying. Like oh my god how are you. You are so interesting and im so normal that would be very distracting but i read this and im like i have a Herniated Disk in my neck and sometimes my neck seizes up so i got really selfconscious like to people think im a psychopath . Really im in agonizing pain. Do you have any a leave . Greg no i dont. That would be great. Greg but the massage later, from three to five. 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Was there ever a Tv Personality that you wanted to meet and you did . Joey . You can say me, its okay. But anybody else . I was laying in the hospital bed, 2010, punctured lung, my legs were gone. I turned on and there was a show redeye and i thought, you know, i want to hang out with that guy one day, maybe even call him a friend. I dont know. Thats all of got. Beat me to it. Greg what about you, kennedy . You not only met famous people, youve dated famous people. Well, greg, i dont like to be a break art but yes, you are right. When i was in Middle School through junior high, junior high and high school i was abscessed with David Letterman and i finally got to meet David Letterman, i got to be on his show. We did not date so much as greg was not a good experience for you on letterman . No, he was very cold and mean. I was so excited to meet him and i had built him up to be, you know, this towering perfect funny broadcaster and it was a little disappointing. Isnt that sad . Greg see how different it is with me . Yeah, you are so warm. [ laughter ] greg you dont know me. All right, have you ever met anybody famous . Well actually i want to know have you ever met some buddy famous that you wanted to meet . Somebody famous . I met chris hansen. That was not that was not under good greg that was a surprise. David, whats with the mikes hard lemonade . It was in a well appointed kitchen. Someone i wanted to meet . No, im blanking. I dont know. Greg you know what i like about you, you do get the rundown beforehand, but you dont waste your time reading up or thinking about. Im just going to wing it. And it always almost works out. Thats the beauty of it. Greg kat, you have so many to choose from. So doctor drew. I always wanted to meet doctor drew. I know they say dont meet your heroes and we didnt know we go go on vacation with him and his wife. Greg that would qualify as stocking. No, im invited. Im invited actually. Not everybody goes places they arent invited to with binoculars like you do. Greg im going to go with a safe one, lee majors. You met lee majors . Greg yeah, i met him a couple of times. He watches the shows. He did a segment on one of the first gutfeld shows. Teaching me how to dress. But i adored him growing up. With inflation its a hundred milliondollar man. Greg with inflation that joke is worthless. Greg i feel bad now. The inflation joke. The even made that by the way, i knew the six milliondollar man so well that they made that joke on six milliondollar man when he thought the other bionic man played by Monte Markham and lee majors goes how much did it cost and he goes 7 million and they both look at each other and go inflation. There you go. Just cost me a trip to afghanistan. Greg terrible. Up next,s comedy may be dry but he leaves th lets get the rest of these plants in. Organic soil from miraclegro has grown me the best garden i have ever had. 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Dont cancel or let your policy lapse without finding out what its worth. Visit coventrydirect. Com to find out if your policy qualifies. Or call the number on your screen. Coventry direct, redefining insurance. [ ] nobody is watching so we can talk about whatever we want. The most popular Razor Salesman also does standup comedy parttime. David angelo put out a special on youtube lets show a clip. When you were young there are only 2 jobs you can do. Babysitter and lifeguard. Are those kind of highstakes for entrylevel jobs. Just to get your foot in the door. Like if you are a 15yearold want to work in an office its like okay before we trust you with the xl spreadsheet lets see if you can keep my daughter alive. I watched it your stand up when it came out and i was surprised how bad the audience was and you looked so forlorn. Im used it to a audience so that was okay it was a little the audience of the 1 taping i was doing. Like im just going to play this special with them watching it and then i will dub it in right. So people can fro your name and in the special comes up. Yep its called new york legend which is explained in the special that i am a new york legend. I believe this suspends you know its on youtube. You say it was the 1 special and a terrible audience. Why did you not do like 3 and pick 1 like normal people do. Is it that expensive to rent a camera . No but its expensive to rent the theatre and i was paying for mean there needs to be more disbelief her odds right. Like thats outrageous. How could that be. Even this crowd right you have to walk them through everything. Your show really captured your charm and charisma. Speaker01 i cant leave and promoting your special when you arent even doing that. I dont want people to see a im embarrassed check it out on youtube you have to go to youtube greg i wish he was an easier way yet to youtube new york legend it will take you right there and gregs videos will show up with suggested viewing afterwards right so whole thing here congratulations when enamel is gone, you cannot get it back. But you can repair it with Pronamel Repair. It penetrates deep into the tooth to actively repair acid weakened enamel. I recommend Pronamel Repair. With new Pronamel Repair mouthwash you can enhance that repair beyond brushing. They work great together. Im jonathan lawson, here to tell you about Life Insurance through the Colonial Penn program. If youre age 50 to 85 and looking to buy Life Insurance on a fixed budget, remember the three ps. What are the three ps . The three ps of Life Insurance on a fixed budget are price, price, and price. A price you can afford, a price that cant increase, and a price that fits your budget. Im 54. Whats my price . 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