Happy monday, everybody [ cheering ] stop it okay. United flight out of germany bound for San Francisco was forced to turn around after feces flew in to the cabin. Which was unfair to the feces that it had both the ticket to see his family in San Francisco. It came from germany. The white house warned that sticky fingered reporters are stealing items from Air Force One. Hey, leave me out of this, says one man. [laughter] remember him . Masturbator. [laughter] a new study finds that 40 sentiment of adults well go days without facetoface interaction. I should be so lucky. For me its 100 phase ii asked. [laughter] thing that you found the pictures of us, clothes. Lizzo announced shes quitting the Music Business because shes tired of being dragged by everyone in her life and on the internet. Is that she plans to spend more time with her french. [laughter] the good news is your doctors is walking away from the Music Industry will be the most exercise shes had in years. It is intriguing that her announcement to keep a low profile comes just days before a solar eclipse. Coincidence . Or just a lame. Just before the start of on and see to a womans Basketball Game this weekend officials discovered that the threepoint lines were the same distance on both sides of the court. Hands were outraged that the game postpone their fleamarket. [laughter] thats a good joke. A new survey finds that half of senior congressional staffers are considering quitting their jobs. Stop or save the environment is so toxic they can find it quietly into film themselves having anal sex. Morgan just looked up. [laughter] economists are cautioning consumers who are upset over higher prices nothing is costing more is a good sign for the economy. Plus they add that rising Formula Prices mean babies are slimmer than ever. [laughter] look of those babies abs. A Wall Street Journal Report says that living in iran is more difficult than expected. [laughter] while i couldve told you that. On this day in 1889 the first dishwasher was marketed in chicago. It came with two movable arms, a Cloth Covering and a cheerful demeanor. [laughter] all right. Redbook testing is unfunded call 911. Remember last week when we cover the greatest story there ever was or perhaps will ever be . Its time once again for. [laughter] greg yes, it was a Compass Emergency to end all Campus Emergencies be rendering yet another protest against israel i woman had to change her tampon. So her friends called 911. There is a female student next being denied the right to change her tampon that has been in for multiple hours which leads to an increased risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome so i understand then you should understand [ inaudible ] what youre not hearing is that if she stand up to use the restroom to change her tampon they are threatening arrest so it is not an option for. Maam, do you have an emergency . Yes, maam, i do. That isnt an emergence there is an emergency. You big mac you have an emergency not your friend inside . I dont remember the time i needed to have an emergency personally to call 911 for help. Im sorry, what . I dont remember a time when it has to be a personal emergency for me to call 91 to help mike i am requesting assistance medical care urgent assistance. Greg oh man. Was over a tampon. But im sure for them that type of time of the month is every day of the month. Im happy to send maxi pads to soak up their tears but this is hardly the stuff of Nelson Mandela number somehow theyre cool with bloodshed by my service but an expected visit from and flow has them screaming bloody murder but he merely murder. Youre erection to the original story. The people who want to defund the police call the police over a tampon but this is not the first time protesters made us think of feminine products. Usually they always act like douchebags. [laughter] but she chooses to leave the citys resources and call 911 over a damn tampon. She should have just called me, i know people. I could oppose some strains. [laughter] greg dead rubber right themselves because the processors are jokes themselves. Because were major news show covering the important stories we are going to bring you an update their maxim of the students involved arrested and held a press or the next day my check out this chubby chuckle head. I was one of the concerned students who were arrested last night. Just want to sure my experiences and compare them to what i experienced last night. Again 24 when he went hours we were denied medical attention can we were denied deprived of sleep, water, resources, at 530 coffee in the morning i got a pat on my back shame shame greg oh. You get the feeling that tampon was actually for that guy . [laughter] i mean he did look a little bloated. And, you know, if it is your time of the month, duca maybe dont plan on risking jail . Instead try the red roof end. No. Greg nope. [laughter] but lets recount the facts. According to the reporting they trespassed a in building and saw the car, which staffers who offered to meet with them with the Minister Duncan refused to leave. Some morons how do you think an active with a mommy coming to talk you in . Getting arrested is the idea. That is the part where you think we shall overcome, not we shall overflow. Thats not bravery, thats intentional and hope potential employers take note lookout used at starbucks. Now heres a perfect tell from one of the other intrepid Freedom Fighters in this theater of the absurd. Greg a collective pileof ho. I got news for you youre not thinking of all the a collective thinking is for insects, armies and the view if you think about a word Document Protein Shakes and bench presses. But does the soy boy even realize he just admitted that theyre all a bunch of minus on a crohns can think for themselves humic watches engaging in a riskfree hobby that they think makes them relevant . s a few more privileged were brought from the collective. Yesterday at st. Patricks Cathedral A Group of protesters at least one in a palestinian scar that, disrupted easter mass. Greg thats a priest who can plan my Pickleball Team any day. What better way to honor the patron saint of the irish then taking the asses of uppity strangers. No the reasons these buffoons can do this is because not only will they have suffered no consequences, they also know how to deal with the actual issues. You have the luxury of distance and endurance with believed popped up by an enabling system they hate they hate. Last a check st. Patricks did not that on the west ba bank. But this comes down on luxury believes, believes held by white lives with everyday material needs are taken care of. And believe that they should be catered to like their emotional, Physical Invalids and when they protest they are far removed from whatever because of the data actually embrace. These ego driven dorks could not find gaza on a map of gaza if you show them gaza on a map. So let me address them directly, children, nobody in hamas or even gaga for that matter those who you are or gives have a crap in fact none of the cd Chanted Slogans use against american art were ever audit in gaza. The gardens are not worried about vanderbilt investments because theres no social Protest Movement in gaza. They hate you too remick and terrorist groups are not big on the first amendment. If you try social protest in a place will by hamas you are probably at october 7th even differently. And another thing hamas is probably not big on, freedoms like womens rights. Tried disrupting Mosque Services in gaza . And producer there are no Tampon Dispensers in the ladies or the mens rooms either. Of course, whatever charges those students will face will likely earn a slap on the risk although as frail as they are that might be fatal. But really the fall here lies with more than just soldiers Social Justice took also realize to become imperial themselves. Is our system, we were more this mentions vanderbilt cost about 60 grand villa is right at the top 20 school of those who are already our future leaders in just a few years will be running things which is the lender luxury believes enter through the realities that make them possible will threaten every Hard Work Freedom Of What like public safety, the border, in neutral media, a legal system to make sure they funny . Sure. But maybe not so much. Because a lot more at stake here than tampons. Periods announcer periods greg lets welcome the next guest he looked like mystically after a car accident. Million to norton as a former miss florida citrus, shes curvy and primitive scurvy, also the more Morgan Ortega she celebrated easter by hanging with her peeps, New York Times best selling author kat timpf and hes got Wait Line Wrinkles and in any [cheering and applause] greg jim, i know youre a compassionate person. Youre concerned about todays issues. And i admire that the imagine being the parents of that brat. While i dont like to see those brave warriors reputations spoiled. He stood up there and i cant even pretend to defend him. Its so funny how merely their children lopping as adults using pseudotherapeutic language, just theres no passion behind it, their joiners. They just want to belong it like 50 years ago it was one, three will and now its oh were denied water and resources. [laughter] theyre not sincere. Theyre not sincere at all. I mean say what you want to say about the sixties but at least they believe what they were saying. This kind of lopping and i think its cute. I think we should encourage it. I think watching the kids in the play is adorable. Greg that is a perfect analogy because part of me, morgan, says i cant stand these people, but i also love watching it. I would just like to apologize to xi jinping an attorney coming his party for everything that ive said over the last ten years, because you are right. I watch those videos they hear heres a crazy think that were making fun of them and, you know, to talk were to change the tampon. Next week in the Washington Post this will turn in to a story where they are talking about how israel is preventing the feminine products from getting to garden women and within two or three weeks, biden will be aired rubbing tampons into gaza because of the story about you just watch. Greg i hope so, kat. I was just going to say one small thing about vanderbilt, the next day after all this happened i hosted the israeli ambassador on thursday, didnt get any press because but vanderbilt is a Great University and it was the israeli ambassador the next day. Greg . Thats nice, kat. Thank. Greg you joes any ambassador . I dont. Think so no. [laughter] im just confused a little bit is my second time talking with the snowcapped Police Students not its not like a special thing about vanderbilt they cant just like rush in and change her tampon, like, a lot of golems buildings are like that. Most of them i dont know where the right to change he literally, you cant go in to a Subway Sandwich shop and you have to, like, by a sandwich. So i dont know were that came from to actually call the police. I cant change my tampon here okay theres a lot of places i cant change my tampon. And thats just part of life. Greg thats true. And as part of being a woman. Godless woman all right, write it out tyrus, write it out first permit using these protesters will have a great story to tell their children or will they never get laid and how children . Theyre not going to get laid but the problem will be built triggers my bigotry before they finish. [laughter] o. God 911 . She made my happy place weird. [laughter] send help now. You know, what bothers me is, if we were protesting, and, greg needed to change his tampon, we would form a protective circle, like, muskox. Greg yes. Facing our enemy where greg can do the big switch. Greg yes. Mommy theres been about her injuries earlier, i ate my already, obviously, i would have given him is a block and you could put it in there and then we can continue on. See i have never use a tampon other then the time i had a bloody nose when i was a kid and my mom popped in there and put it out. Not a drop i had a white tshirt on, not a drop. Phenomenal. Theres other uses for them. Greg exactly. Other than what theyre supposed to be used for. But the point is whichever enough to figure out a way to get greg to switch it out so he wont get the Toxic Shock Syndrome. They can figure that out to the point he complained about if youre going to protest, plan for the day. You know . Back, it up, maybe some water. Greg snacks. Tampons and pads. You never know the situation. Fell as if you go for it out there, everyone will you have just have one. Maam, im here, girl, what do you need . [laughter] [applause] greg youre going to love this. Up next ecard from a stranger. With a view from danger . [cheering and applause] announcer if youre in the area and would like to get to see diller, click on the link if you have Chronic Kidney Disease you can reduce the risk of Kidney Failure with farxiga. Because there are places youd like to be. 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End clogged gutters for good. Call 833. Leaf. Filter, or visit leaffilter. Com today. Announcer Jesse Watters announcer Jesse Watters saying what most wont it may not sound like it, but this. Is actually progress at 225 miles per hour. Shell renewable race fuel. Reducing emissions by 60 in all ntt indycar® series races. Were moving forward with indycar. Because were moving forward with everybody. Shell. Powering progress. Announcer is the video of the day. [ singing ] [cheering and applause] greg if youre beaten and scarred pick a card, and ecard primitive video that he is from a city indicate, San Franciscos Transportation System a. K. A. Bart, i took that everyday, is promoting Bystander Intervention cards to help writers report grasp harassment and feel safe on public transit. Roulette casket. Hello where two College Students who are barths writers and safety is reported to us so were going to go ask for the Bystander Intervention card. Excuse me would we be able to have some Bystander Intervention cards, please . Yeah, sure. Hold on. Thank you so much. This card over here is for when youre being harassed it says you got me, you hand it to Somebody Else and it gives them instructions on how they can help you. If you see be you can also give them this i got you card which gives them instructions on the back to find the bart police or call someone or more instructions on how to be safe. I really appreciate these cards because they gave me a concrete way to deal with an unsafe situation. Im not very equipped to deal with them on my own. And so these cards give me a Sense Of Community and a sense of support. It just gives a very easy way to either help someone or to ask for help without having to do much. Youre ability everybody has one then theyll just be able to support each other so much better feel safer. Greg yeah. As a bonus, if you and your victim card gets punched ten times you receive a free ice cream sundae. [laughter] the cards are also laminated so they can easily be wiped clean of bloodstains and bodily fluids. And on the back it reads my condolences, which can be handed to your next of can. Barts officials its not a perfect solution and warn commuters that if they drop their carts while getting stabbed, they will be charged with littering. [laughter] so morgan, heres a closer look at the cards, and we put them up there . Its pretty amazing. We are doing this because crime and open drug use are up and ridership are known. The thing these cards will make a difference, what say you. I hate this generation so much. Its just ridiculous. Heres an idea. If you want to keep people safe, how about funding the police and making the subway [cheering and applause] just a thought. Just. Greg a thought thats ridiculous. If you find the police the police might hurt somebody to make these cards will create a Sense Of Community and support. I dont want to punch any anybody. Yeah. To be honest with you, theres not enough weed in california for this one. [laughter] so basically, our Transportation System in San Francisco are really bad soccer games. You are going to yellow card guide is assaulting you . Is that what were doing . Card, sir. That carl and i being in tampon. [laughter] like, is not the case. We have to stop blaming the kids. These are grown adults to make these are gen xers that came up with these ideas. Im trying to think they care so little about these age group that we are saying, you know, you know what you guys should do . Next to me getting assaulted . And the person next to you a video videotaping you a card. You got me . Oh i got you, you look great. [laughter] this is terrible. This i dont know unless you had to put something some kind to distract the attacker . Have a great movie public or something greg Emmerik De Rate rate was still, something that is useful, kat, what if somebody if somebody headed you ecard. Keep it moving. [laughter] if somebody is thats just how it is. I dont think anybody will have any use for this except for may be man will use it to try to pick a woman. Greg right. Theyll be like whoa oh i got you, or do you need help we go when it is time to pick. Them up this is the worst worst idea a man no longer has to yell he just hand you a card, i got you . And why youre terrorized he goes you got me rico thats what that is. Greg this could be an answer for perverts like you. Maybe just look. [laughter] greg theyre not having it tonight, and jim. Hairtrigger. This is a culture that everyone is twitter and everything is written and everything is just kind of stare straight ahead would drool spilling on the corner of her most primitive listing its ill do it in writing. Is absolute any matter how different bernard gets life would have been incentive again he if he put pulled out a gun card that says go fish. Or the cops dont arrest people be just hand you a card, go to jail, do not collect is just an idiot it kind of dystopian. Its really creepy that anybody thinking when actually go yet this is an idea that will help somebody when theyre being assaulted or attacked. Greg when you say dystopian, that is the description that of that video because of the music that was, like, very almost, like, plea date music. And their ghost those kids would not last in the subway. I thought it was fake. Im this is a great parity of an absolutely asinine program and then when they finished i was, like, oh, they meant every word of that. I thought it was a sarcastic parity. Greg yes. And the problem with the car it only in english . I was just thinking about that. Shame. Greg shame shame [applause] shame on you for lapping me yelling shame x. Close i think i discovered anyway to get the applause. Shouting shame . [applause] is the only way i can finish when i have sects. [laughter] shame expo. Greg excellence. Up next, how staffers have their fill . A beer from capitol hill. [applause] try Dawn Powerwash dish spray. It removes 99 of grease and grime in half the time. It cleans so well, you can replace multiple cleaning products. Try Dawn Powerwash. Type 2 diabetes . Discover the ozempic® trizone. I got the power of 3. I lowered my a1c, cv risk, and lost some weight. In studies, the majority of people reached an a1c under 7 and maintained it. Im under 7. Ozempic® lowers the risk of major cardiovascular events such as stroke, heart attack, or death in adults also with known heart disease. Im lowering my risk. Adults lost up to 14 pounds. I lost some weight. Ozempic® isnt for people with type 1 diabetes. Dont share needles or pens, or reuse needles. Dont take ozempic® if you or your family ever had medullary thyroid cancer, or have multiple Endocrine Neoplasia Syndrome type 2, or if allergic to it. Stop ozempic® and get medical help right away if you get a lump or swelling in your neck, severe stomach pain, or an allergic reaction. Serious side effects may include pancreatitis. Gallbladder problems may occur. Tell your provider about Vision Problems or changes. Taking ozempic® with a sulfonylurea or insulin may increase low blood sugar risk. Side effects like nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea may lead to dehydration, which may worsen kidney problems. Living with Type 2 Diabetes . Ask about the power of 3 with ozempic®. Scout is protected by Simparica Trio and hes in it to win it Simparica Trio is the first chew with triple protection. Whoa fleas and ticks Intestinal Worms whoa Heartworm Disease no problem with Simparica Trio this drug class has been associated with neurologic Adverse Reactions including seizures. Use with caution in dogs with a history of these disorders. For winning protection go with Simparica Trio. Hey. You seein this . Wait. Wheres the dish . There aint one. Youre tellin me you can get directv The Good Stuff and you dont need a Satellite Dish . Oh, i used to love doin my business on those things youre one sick pigeon. Them dishes kept the rain off our beaks we just have different priorities is all. Satellitefree directv. Never thought id see the day. Well, our lifespans are quite short. Stream directv without a Satellite Dish. Im going to do this thing with my neck, just for a bit. Announcer a story in five words. [applause] greg goodbye congressional staffers are quitting. Pirates according to an you Capitol Hill Survey my favorite kind by the way, nearly half of those senior aides believe or will want to quit because of the toxic partisan environment. Does this bother you . Yeah. Because it doesnt make any sense. If youre a senior staffer youre only working for one person so its not really partisan. Its just everyone is too afraid to say they dont like the boss anymore. Everyone hates them. Is to be okay what was albom the all about . Now you hate your you have to set im about to quit. But you didnt quit. So shut up. And go to work like the rest of us. They say all the stuff that so partisan, its so hard, youre collecting the check and chances are the guy you are working for is 30 years passed his prime so you get to vote, you get to play leader i mean right now we have a senior sapling president so i mean its never been a better time to be a senior staffer. Sean before, what you think . Is a downside to this . I dont think theres a downside. Regular some of these people might have thought that they could get an politics to make it might make a difference. Greg yes. I dont think that happened anymore. I feel like we want all these hearings its just all, like, peoples showboating around trying to get a viral clip. I think all politicians do all the long is tweet at each other. Greg its true. Is a time to go viral, get the attention nobody really wants to solve problems anymore and theyd rather explain the problems for their own gain so i feel like if youre somebody that somehow didnt know this before you enter politics, you are probably feeling very aggressively disillusioned. Thats true. I want to go back to you, jim. Thank you, greg. Greg could you imagine working for the government at this point . With everything weve learned . I feel like i feel like trump broke a lot of things, i feel like he wrote the government. I couldnt imagine myself working for the government. I mean, confidence, i like parkers. [laughter] but i think one of the things that he said was that the amount of toxicity of people just saying awful things to each other all day edge everybody is just 100 bent on breaking the other person. Again there is no working together, theres no helix its just a hateful disgusting environment, people that want to get out can you imagine being a nancy pelosi for 20 years or any of them . Twenty years . Greg you know whats funny, when i see the all politicians i can smell them. You ever when youre watching you go i can smell gerald nadler, i can smell i can smell him. Thats the only one i can come up with. And nancy. They smell like that in an effort in. Greg the second and effort in. I havent thought of visiting in ages. Why would you, youre not a parent. Greg thats true. Diaper rash, what the he hell. Greg i did have an accident one day. I did. You what . Greg i bought it for us an accident one day, i thought it was for something else. Lets just say it morgan, its also in dc, the worst probably one of the worst cities in the country, so you go there, you cant afford to live there, your you work for basically whats called a corrupt company in dc. You were in dc . I did. Well on the hell they actually get paid quite well. So the Chief Of Staff makes most more than 100 that You Policy Guys are or woman to make 160 grand a year, you also get their Student Loans paid off and when nancy pelosi was in control of the house drink covid she tried to actually sneak in a provision that they would get free times inscriptions. Greg thats right you remember that. Greg yes. So it is ideal i i think 170,000 to deal with it is national congress, thats a lot of money. I dont know that im getting a lot of tears for them. Greg i think this might be the solution to tricking the government is just making the government inhospitable, right . Go get a better job, do something else. It will help us out. You could do this you could do the government parttime. How they used to do it. But they are doing a parttime. Theres likely of the federal workforce in dc shows up to work every day. They are doing it parttime. Greg you can also the great purge of working for, like, to correspond or Something Like that, you know, none of it, its all on record, everything is traceable so theres not a great part anymore. Greg you cant even drive off a bridge anymore. [laughter] thats what you mean. Yes. Greg its true i and it under some burner knows. [laughter] at a boy, greg. Greg shame [cheering and applause] shead dans all over the place with a diaper and on her fa face. [cheering and applause] announcer if you will be then your area and would like to get to see diller. Go to foxnews. Com gutfeld and click on the link to join our Studio Audience your mark ear sk. And in psoriatic arthritis, can mean less joint pain, and help stop further joint damage. Serious allergic reactions, severe Skin Reactions that look like eczema, and increased risk of infections some fatal have occurred. Tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms, had a vaccine or plan to or if ibd symptoms develop or worsen. See me ego, the number one rated brand in cordless Outdoor Power brings you the select cut mower. Customize the cut with three interchangeable blades. It cuts for over an hour on a single charge. Ego exclusively at lowes, ace and ego authorized dealers. Announcer weve got another clip of you. Its video of the day part two. [cheering and applause] greg that is the most seductive intro. Our second video today comes from Taylor LorenzWashington Post who infamously dock the lives of tiktok account. No there she is here she is anyway dancing the canadian at the porn awards in a covid19 mask. Rowlett. Greg i give her credit for wearing the mask, or stability can be contagious Mike Ancaster not aware, porn hub is a hardcore pornographic website that millions of men but cannot know about. [laughter] kat, i have no problem about her being at the porn awards, who gives a damn, i dont care for my shes wearing a mask. That sending a positive or negative message . Oh man look, if you want to wear a mask, go ahead. I just find it interesting that she doesnt seem to be worried about or need to worry about people being around her anyway. [laughter] [ cheering ] shes dancing completely by herself and then she goes up to someone else. If i see someone with a mask on usually i must they must be really sick. But if that is what makes you happy, you want to wear your mask, thats. But if you were the whole time . I really wonder if you are the hole. Greg time she wears it wherever she goes including a place where there are adult films from start which i think is deeply offensive to the adult them starts. Theyre already objectified enough, just pieces of meat, jim. You often pay women to put on mask and thats in front of you. And the anymore to put one on myself. [laughter] greg have you ever been to these awards . I mean this is new porn hub not the point of first of all i dont wear a mask, i wear a ball gag i hosted the porn awards twice. I hosted it in January Of 04 and i think in 07 they were really, really marvelous experiences. Much bigger than they are n now. Now its all online stuff. Everybody is dead. That would be it. A lot of people are dead. But porn needs to back ive been watching it since i was five, im fine. [laughter] greg oh, my god. Morgan, should she be wearing a hazmat suit . [laughter] it is curious what its like to go to the Porn Hub Conference and be the only person who doesnt get laid. [laughter] i mean i can help you, i can tell you. Theres a lot of hordes of the Porn Hub Conference but shes the only attention work and thats for sure. Greg you know whats funny . It kind of funny because she that was good. [applause] greg shame she still has less of a moral compass than photographers. Im sorry, man, but if youre wearing a mask at a, ther [bleep] you should be more worried about catching, you know what im saying . You put the Master Morels because you might be a little safer. But then again as kat could pointed out, she couldnt give it away. She was already at a porn Party Standing with sequins on and nobody cares. As a geico he would not dance payment at some Point Summary would be like, tyrus, you know what . You need to go. [laughter] youre just is nothing now. Everyone is pointing at you. Sheet maybe she was triggered. Maybe her dancing was greg you know went when somebody put on a mask with her dancing, it doesnt look like shes dancing, it looks like shes prowling. She is, like, prowling around. Maybe she was trying to show them some new characters she was working on . Greg i dont know. The masked dancer. Greg yes. And all you see, kat, or her crazy eyes. [laughter] look maybe thats one for her. Greg yes. Maybe it is maybe it is. And who am i to deny Somebody Elses fun. I think thats the problem, greg, nobody likes her. We cant even make jokes about her because shes going to come email you or find you on twitter and then youre going to talk about it with a team of scientists. Let her dance parcel of the porn party and then rest of us move on. Greg yes. [applause] greg perhaps Billie Eilish had it correct the entire time. Makes you think, doesnt it . I hosted twice and i presented an award twice and i did not get laid at all. [laughter] i think i was around 8000 porn stars and i struck out, i just went back to my room and watch them on my laptop. [laughter] greg up next, reporters think its fun to steal from Air Force One. [applause] should feel free. I know. I was talking about the dogs. They need their lawn back fast and you need Scotts Turf Builder Rapid Grass. Its revolutionary mix of seed and fertilizer that grows grass 2 times faster than just seed alone. Giving you a stronger lawn. Release the hounds smell that freedom, eh . I smell it im still talking to the dogs. Get Scotts Turf Builder Rapid Grass today, its guaranteed. Feed your lawn. Feed it. Some people just know that the best rate for you is a rate based on you, with allstate. Because theres a right way to. Stop and the speed limit definitely isnt. 700 million mph. So why would you pay a rate based on. A terrible boss with a terrible haircut save with, ooh. Save with drivewise and get a rate based on you. Youre in good hands with Allstate Announcer want to see good gutfeld live in new york announcer five more words. [applause] greg five more words. Reporter loot Air Force One. Morgan, apparently what Host Reporters have been stealing stuff from Air Force One okay plates and glassware capitol cases as souvenirs. Youve written Air Force One, correct . Used the did you steal. I dont know okay i think a lot of the m ms and the candy, i did not steal a plate. I did see smack i wont say this persons name, somebody recently fired from nbc news stole a pillow in front of me off of Air Force One. I thought i was pretty palsy. I wish i had done thats. Again, will,. Greg she got fired for nbc. Sure there for, like, six minutes. Rhonda mcdaniels she had a fastest. Greg job who. Oh rhonda mcdaniels. I thought it was funny. Its fine. Ive taken a little champagne this all stuff youre allowed to. Have remember remind me to never steal in front of morgan. [laughter] [cheering and applause] greg tyrus, its hard to resist i mean, its not everyday you see the president ial seal on an adult diaper. [laughter] that is not what this is about. Everybody wants to get a piece to say that they were there because theyre going to sell them [bleep] office, i would be covering everything in that white house to prove this is going to be worth so much money, this do this crazy, all this double come out everybody onestop. I could probably go because he will remember, can file a claim this for me greg where do they think they are, jim, walgreens. I mean its hard. Greg not to steal yes you must have taken mementos. Of taken mementos from continental, if they can then from united, ive taken them from u. S. Air. Every airline thats no longer around except united and yes, i was on Air Force One if i was on Air Force One, i was still everything, its fun, of stolen girls hearts. You just kind of fun to take [laughter] greg i once took indoor from boeing. [laughter] greg i thought that drug. Wouldve died there was a great joke after my unfunny little thing that that was it would leave that somebody said something other than me. [laughter] greg kat, you dont strike me as somebody who was still something. Know what does it even count as stealing if you can walk up with a pillow and nobody says anything to you . You cant do that at my apartment. [laughter] my security is a lot less. Like, if somebody tried to leave my apartment when what you think youre doing . Greg why would you take it hello. Because it had the president ial seal on it. Greg it just kind of creepy. I dont want to fly on Air Force One anyways but maybe they give you a cool pair of wings with the president ial seal on it . Something cool when you get on their . Oh, no, pens because you might hurt himself, never o one. Greg well with hunter you get a seal River A Crack Pipe on a. Crack pipe they have Playing Cards and everything. Greg you know, and its all the same crap. Who cares, right . Who cares . Shame shame [cheering and applause] greg i love this audience. [laughter] they hate our jokes but they love to shame [cheering and applause] greg all right. Dont go i went dont go away, will be right back. [cheering and applause] nothing brings us together like egglands best eggs. Always so fresh and delicious. Plus, superior nutrition. For us, its eggs any style. As long as theyre the best. Egglands best. Liberty mutual customized my Car Insurance ne. Baby liberty. Oh baby liberty. How many people did you tell . Only pay for what you need. Jingle liberty. 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Farxiga [ applause ] greg we are out of time that is it for our show Studio Audience [ cheering and applause trace good evening andres gallagher its 11 00 pm on the east coast 8 00 here in los angeles and this is americas late news, news at night. Breaking tonight, quoting, i shoot people. That is what a career criminal