Im going to look at myself in the mirror now. I mean, i can finally see me because the person ive always been an i guess you could say that now i finally exist. Yeah. Existence for fine. The my name is up and its been some fun. So my name is robin diaz. Im 25 highlights. Im starting to become a social worker on foot. I live near frankfort and im trans smoothly. That means the gender i was assigned to birth is wrong with it. It doesnt fit this type. I dont have a general let me just have can use list of the nation. Theres nothing there. This is okay. I know that now and its okay that theres nothing with the kids that are past the term that fits best as a gender as a non buying. Theyre usually tools. I dont know if its in my gm is leaking. I definitely didnt choose anything else cuz the i just hit scan and then this one then have a still not so much. Yep. Lindsey, but its possible for me to go to and i walk across the street and people look at me and want to categorize me as a man or woman. And whenever im out in public kentucky, i noticed that im seeing is a man that people address me is that something young man, its months flag and at a distance, thats what people think. When they look at my body type, this cup a bit, its, thats what i want it and want to achieve this. If i can move it over to the full mismatch all glued in savannah, im very happy not to be seen as a woman any more about being seen as a man isnt quite right either this or any of us took the most people dont see that theres another option in housing, but there are more than just to generalize this. The last mentioned that i know that most people are being mean i find they just dont understand about what happens over and over and over again. In the past, i find it to exhausting to endure all the time. Also her the status my home own do this is my hormone jones. Mean . I didnt talk of to, ive been putting it on my arms every day for a year now. And its made my voice deeper. Mazda, so i understand. I can grow a beard. This new politics. The hello. My name is carmen somethings. I mean, im dr. Websites. Yeah, basically to do i got some files. Yep. So try any tasha. Yeah, thank assume this its been hard to hear via the car today because im due for a mistake. Let me check up. I have everything removed in the doctors checking to make sure everything is here. Well, lets go to the highs. Must be a mice and im, im crap. I just stood up because they bothered me most about my body. Apart from my voice, with the breasts fisting simply because i couldnt either because it was too much and the people says that, oh my god, you must be a woman because there are presents, there are only got the most in falls on men who bye test, especially on this not ill ask them give, it was just an area that i never considered my body cup that never belonged to me, but that was never a part of i need the tires from you and the surface of human vic, to me said, i always wanted to go and cook, i believe my own body should make me feel comfortable and secure. She lives in the systems as of the board and see the in the as soon as i found out that there was something i could do about that this, it was very liberating the civic, some about us be once i knew it was possible that i could do it, i dont like it was clear to me that i wanted to go through with kind of this my home on the inside of my milk science. Billed us all the photos of i really dont like seeing photos of me with the breasts are still clearly visible along the name. I dont like nastiness because i just see a completely different person it under because a Stranger Thing you sent us on its we dont want to present myself that way either whos present in the state. Thats why im covering my face a little bit of a stuff because it just doesnt feel good. Brothers. I 100 screwed on food. I love it to button the pip isnt that for us. Were like having a 3rd arm or something furnished, something completely wrong in my body. I couldnt touch a button and its consistent when i looked down at myself when i just thought it was terrible. I really couldnt cope with it. It on there was something i hid from everyone on his stomach, throwing himself selling it on the suspect. Robin, would you come with me . Hello. Hello. Hello, thank you my, im, are you okay . This way right in here. Hold under via phone and take a seat here on the left. Perfect. How are you . How you doing . Great so far . Yeah. Yes. I assume your quality of life as improvement on the mission. Yeah. Yes. Very much cover. My body feels completely different to me and i can touch it all and it feels good and it feels like me if youre close to probably. Yeah. Yeah, totally havent the shirt wouldnt have worked before because my shoulders are broader now and the ones who need different sized clothes planning. So ill have to figure out where to find something that fits managed by spending time with me. Stadium. Well, it looks good on you, you wear it well. It is what im actually id like to see how things are looking right now. For that. I would ask you to take off your chair and 5, some of this estimate. This meant for the cut because the 1st time i saw my flight upper body was at the hospital for hours after surgery, still p, shawn, i didnt have a mirror. Let me just have the can, should be good. As i could look down the front window, i noticed that these mountains were gone. Im a honda civic and then i could see my belly button and just come to me and bolton out of the yes fi it felt like so im coming home actually assess this opposite. The scars have faded quite a bit. I noticed theres a bit of stretching here. Right. So yeah, probably because im right handed. Assigned to that, so it looks like you massage this well in the meantime, as i recommended to think how i think the scars will get better with time. Association fee can continue massaging them. Overall, i think your upper body looks more masculine and it suits you very well. Thank you. The 55th, always pretty tough and i think for those with this issue, the most important thing is simply to be accepted. They dont want to take away anybody else has freedom and i, they just want to be appreciated and accepted in their own freedom of this isnt some kind of frivolous process. It involves getting many expert opinions, changing your legal status, and who knows what else of each other. Its just not something you decide to do on a whim level and try to be well, if you need anything, come back any time to eat outside. Thank you. Thank you. Im not a new person. My personality is still the same, right, but this shadow self is finally gone. As i skipped the color to design, there are those who say i just want attention. It sometimes is specifically about being a non binary person identity and gauge about it. So when you look at how long the journey i am parked on really is been on this on what it takes to get where i am now, then is that its just so much was only didnt choose. This is from voice been this is sophia and no, i dont want to 10 or 9 semester kind of make some kind of just name list. I didnt even go through with all these operations just to get some attention also next on the human side. So applies in young time when i was between 13 and 23 was the worst of my life. Even somebody, not just one of those. My Old School Advice and images always in the middle and high school here for 5 or 6 years from 6 avalon. As a dial fedloan bank, theyre on the blue bench and thats where our class would hang out at lunch time. Uh, but it was always an outside or in the loan, a bunch of other images up. So that brings back old emotions as a new field. Ill just have that kind of a one bedroom. I only have any friends because the only thought i was weird illusion in my my classmates would often just make up words to tease me. Yeah, i think i forgot to find one word, for example, was farmer because i didnt shave my legs, sign well and was considered on high genex some and end of the a tough on its own conflict guide me about few people made fun of me that would be invited to a party that wasnt even have i smelled and for this one. So in the patio and so for an attendance will be taught to me. If you listen to you can further on, you know, started when i was young, i realized i didnt fit in with the girls and i didnt fit in with the boys. The girls just did girls stuff and i found it strange mass fun this problem. But i wasnt at home with the boys either and used by the alternate, so i didnt know where i belonged to him. As a fellow at the time, i still havent processed that yet. Its deep within me. So its not teeth and gets me and like i used to the punch and me couldnt talk to my parents, family or friends that kind of want because i didnt know how to put it into words. That is, this is mr. Newtons whats what im going to i didnt fit in anywhere. He was sort of stuck in limbo because i couldnt stand out. So i started trying to fit in with the girls because thats where i supposedly belong. I had a job, im trying to find visual food was unclear, could and really look at old photos. Its always very strange mac. I think thats the best word for it, the best, the fia, via because i know thats me and thats part of my past. But ive lost my connection to the savannah, forgotten i had good about it, have to defend them. So federal one, i dont talk about myself as a girl either each and because i never was want to, i never was i never will be. Its bonnie ions. Its that of me and sign, and thats why i dont use my old name anymore. Important because its just not relevant anymore. Now, but of this i saw some is kind of the events of everyone else could soon. But just at some point in 2018, i left home and i thought to myself, hey, i dont know any people who work. Were in the mentioned to korea and i came across coast 41 in frankfurt stores. And then from 1st, the 3 of us you sent for queer youth center, a safe place for people who work a bi, sexual, a sexual trans or non veneer tongue. So whos been as ins . Good, now for me all started here, 2 and a half years ago. The youngest on the phone here now just as estimate here, the 1st time i was here, there was an introductory meeting that was at that meeting that i met people who are we are for the 1st i asked my yellow, tingling to confusing um 15 more importantly, people who are trained some more like me, diesels, and the is my little world kind of explode and it is, and it was like, wow, i think im trans to slope, but im not a trans maam. Ill just be 10. I started a googling and research quite a bit on the internet to see whats out there against you intended to get your see it. So i quickly came across the term non binary series often because ms. Bean. Yeah. And that word on tied a huge not within making confusing norton didnt have to lose perhaps as a to ask less guns. Feel like the 1st it was a big relief when done. Com and i was afraid of the youngest because the moment i knew this about myself, which this was, i also knew i couldnt go back because of a key that wouldnt work placement. So look in this deed of mens, i had to tell my boyfriend, delighted. I had to tell my family, well, i had to tell my friends who was this man of a medium. It was time to let the cat out of the bag splendid ends on. Most of this up up in the custom they sent it said confound for fun, chris and i have been together for 5 years now. I asked for, and i only came out to him about 2 and a half years ago. The ink out, its just me, my partner was trans, wasnt crestwood all madison. I showed them videos of people who are non binary of the because it was important to me that you get to know that as well. And, but this may be new super interested and super supportive as well inside. And well see, hey, all right, well figure it out somehow. What do you need of . How can i help you . But i cries because i hadnt expected that is and then i was just like of course it was incredible. Yeah. With this was the city moment. What was it like for you when i told you when i told you i was try it. Thats up to something really fast and that will settle me a lot to absorb. We just had no idea of what that meant for us and how things would change by should i accepted the challenge or the challenge . Im gonna have to see if anything changed for you between us because of in the spring. No, no, just a life of it, but nothing traveling is mix covey and then not in my name is that may i ask your name, but i dont consciously think about this anymore, but its more subconscious now because its still you saving and strange that i have a deep voice mails to my hot i am i just as im 2nd regret, as well as youre supposed to be honest. I dont even notice the attorney language. I dont remember. I think i dont remember what your voice was like before closing time. I just have it in my hand type stuff. In my little for the image. I have a view right now as also replace the one that my memory is up in the, on the sides. When i think back to the time before the changes, you still look the same as you do now, if you do it by myself, because i go at christmas and because thats what my head thinks is, right . Its like, its always been this way. The leaves in the mind is southern and youre back over to tech. At 1st i was confused when robin came out to me on business of it because they had no experience with the whole thing and the incumbent file of a. But i learned all the terminology and all the things that go with it, just as rather not to im hanging. I was just looking down like a few less and then level and what am i feelings for each other and especially my feelings from robin were not affected. Because for me, the person is always in the for grant. And it depends on who knows. Looks like there is more to a person than just their gender. So of course after robin came out initially i didnt question or feature because it didnt matter to me what the others talked about as a couple 100 bucks. Yeah. And then so it was very clear to me that we would Stay Together one to decide about as far as we can kind of thing. Just go through them line up this about seats in the income for a while. I wondered whether this could even work through outside or as wed always been hetero. Yeah. Social norm because we knew that was going to change and of course that does affect the relationship to this office. But the, you. So the question was, how do we do want to be, i think for most people, the whole trans issue is still very for this in mind, or im sure because theres just lots of different mac symptoms. Yes, there is more acceptance. Active tons about acceptance is not understanding. This is theres a different used escapes. Strange people keep getting assault if it comes to the nif. Lets just the other day in frankfort on the trans woman was attacked right on the street. Awesome discipline, you seem discrimination like that makes me so angry me so uh, but also very, very sad. Told me i realize other people were denied me the right to have my own identity. My own life feed me and my lima. Things are going well, politically, either of the pretty take mazda has kind of quinta, look at hungry or poland gun at a point on goal, and is currently setting up l g, b, t, q phrase. That would be chiefly, its on line where people who work, we are not welcome using this alpha induced and a yeah. So, so what is that going to do . Do you think youre not welcome here in the world just because you think youre not allowed to exist on the 6th of november of inside this time . Absolutely been discriminated against, but in many ways maam, in this case of a come on, then whenever i get letters, its always a very strange feeling for me then because they always call me the wrong thing in the state in my life has im going to 12 investments and this, and i think it would be best if that were simply a minute. Its not because its not necessary. Well, and when needed, i use meal pronoun of this new one on this and theres a whole list of them because they let father put on. They get something on that shows the pronoun and it helped me at the spelled n i. And also google as an investor, for example, instead of saying that he plays with his dog, and that would be in place with means dont stucco, kinda smack um on the phone. Sure. And that might seem complicated at 1st ivan, but with a little practice. Can you get used to it . So pushing it in. One time, im missing the conflicts on that also can, i think getting out of your comfort zone is the least you can do to except the 1st on tying this active tip. Its sylvia if send it had it. Its just a little word means they can change so much. Lets us know im kind of lost my surface and then can them. Weve incorporated so much english into the german language. Language is always changing. I cant understand how you can be so ignorant and how you can have such a hard time with adding a few words to your vocabulary. Newman, the kind of thing. Even mama leave up. How about your mom do, dad . Im writing this letter to you so that you can take, however much time you need to read, i guess my type name cont, as such as a few lungs for them and was very afraid of coming out to my parents. Because i knew that they had no contact with your people at all. You had mentioned how was it the company didnt even know anyone who is gash woods and somebody should be. Thats why i didnt talk to them personally that this is meant. Then i decided to write them a letter because i didnt want to experience their 1st reaction by this the estimate. So in this upcoming budget, its been kind of how i met a woman. Ive been ok, but im also not a man like i trust. And yet i remain simply who i am, who ive always been to the flex man always so that i may change my appearance. And when i am still the same child, you have always loved the invoice tie. It may take your time here and get in touch. When you want to know more about this is when shamia does the image and i wish that you will accept me for who i am as to without having to justify myself to you. I love you is need boys, robin hobbin to meet you, but thats in the attempt to my surprise, my parents responded very well me mind and what type of screen 1st my mother wrote me on. Whats that . This thing is she told me she loves me very much and thank me for the letter. Thank toughening fees on my papa had it been, my dad said he didnt care because nothing had changed jobs despite emmys infinity. It wont lose me except because im still his child and always loving and yeah, dont need to end up spinning as i can when that result a lot of great boost my mom im me gets im doing well when yours. When isnt that . From logarithm my parents didnt worry though that this might not be the right thing for me to do. Mostly i found that they just didnt know me well. And now i can come and talk to them a lot and told them that, you know, this is right for me is like me, is just trust me. You know, this, this felt like me down and how does that mean . And then they did trust me once and now they can see that im doing better despite its talk soon, bye, choose the machine, my inter chronologist today. Can you check my blood work every 3 months route and gives me a new prescription for my hormones . Gets up somebody the homeowner conduct the flu . Yeah. 17. 0 um. Do you have a video that are recorded, edited myself, or you can see and hear the changes the hormones have made on, especially in my voice is off and not home phone stimulus creek but some kind of work. His name, there are no real side effects. The hormone treatment will flush ice time, only thing im worried about as being dependent as the fed up and hes been, as its been opinion here, im dependent on doctor is giving me a prescription. So i can keep taking hormones. Name come on. Donald has been around as well are sometimes im worried. What would happen if that were to stop somehow . I couldnt get them anymore. Assistance makes me you my son. So i did come to the counter to come here and then lets mon, i remember last time you reported that you were still not quite satisfied with the effect of this hormone therapy happening in your case testosterone. Thats the whole disorder and severe evidence. Yeah. The dosage was lower than that, it was indeed lower of new things and i wasnt doing so well. I had some good swing. So to leave this place in order, lets talk about increasing the doses. Thats possible. As long as we monitor things, this would contribute district images. For me, its important to note that being trans is neither a disease nor a disorder. I see it as a normal bearing and experienced by some members of our society. Its just a way of being in the world often in science. Vanka as s model, its my 1st time climbing since kind of stuck to me without the breast, its very different. Miss douglas comes in. I dont have to focus on how it looks or whats in the way. I can just call him without anything interfere and kitchen. What is this the good yeah, this is from a Business Funding go to top. I felt very supportive. When i came out to my best friend and, and things changed very quickly that soon enough. And then she asked me directly what me and program she should be using now the vision and how i define myself and the some different me. Yes sir. This helps i told them of this and i think it breaks the ice between us a little more fun to being one of the 1st people to find out about it was the ultimate proof that you trusted me. Ok. So the promise was ups is im gonna didnt change anything in the friendship itself. And if anything has deepened it a bit this in. So yeah, i think so too. Well the feeling follow reading definitely seems to be a lot happier in that piece. With each passing day, you notice more and more just how well robin is doing now, scrubbing netscape. So miss for mind. Crap. Uh, ive definitely come into my own disney in body and soul. Yeah. But in society its a different story. Yes, i have reached my personal goal always most, but i still have to fight until this goal is valued by others. So i can be accepted just as i am. So i can simply be a land lease even been in the system, signed the, the the what, what is the world look like . If we will, companies have told the truth for more than 40 years now, for the reasons have known that c, o 2 emissions cause and global warming. But instead of warning us, theyve been seamlessly manipulating the public climate crisis. The oil industry cover up those in such a minutes. On the w respect, its all about a walk in waves and fixing nature. Thats right, sandra, respecting they just studying aids. I mean its about being up to date with coming tardies technologies. Training for the e co way of life, the environment magazine speak to ask for 10 and 19 minutes on d. W. The children by agreed into 2000 store to bag, engaged in various tie risk business practice to reach somebody because basically involved in every shady scandal in the Banking Sector worldwide. Raised for ever higher process and then to the minds of a german institution. The Deutscher Bank story starts may 2nd on d w. How name project cassandra, re determined through our investigations that has below was operating like a global drug car. Not somebody normally theaters, organization. The objective to financially drain has gone up and bring them down to the team. Agents from the American DrugEnforcement Agency means as well as another whole of that one of the rest of their money they had from lies themselves. We needed them to reveal that. So world and to their own people. Why did the Us Government suddenly shut down project cassandra in 2016 . 03 pod documentary series. Im asking has paula stats may 4th on d, w. The this is dw news life from bull in a mosque re pop out and see you on couple of in gauze on rescue workers state. They have found nearly 300 bodies at a hospital in the city of con eunice and investigation fines. Israel has failed to back up this claim that you investigatory agency work as a member of terrorist organizations the im the welcome to the pro