On from him starting off is always tough. Ive got to think of something. Who is single. Its estimated there are around 20500000. 00 singles in the german language areas of europe and in turn, the internet and romance, but together wonderfully is positive. The positive thing is that you get out of your own bubble and meet people you wouldnt meet otherwise. Some 60, the chances of clicking with someone have increased from ear to ear. Wait for happiness to fall into your lap. You can wait forever and are any place any time quick consent bill for initial contact, a digital wink is enough. The choice seems infinite. Today, more than 2500 platforms are available for searching for the perfect match. Under the link button is a big help in weeding out the nonstarters. People looking for a mates are spoilt for choice these days. Theres a platform for every need. Quick sex secret affairs, or a lifelong bond can be sought on earth. Many people are active on several platforms, like 37 year old sarah. She lives in vienna and has been single now for 6 years. Many ups and able the 1st selection to be made from a photograph, while g. P. S. Indicates who lives in the vicinity. If you like what you see, you swipe to the right. If its a no go, if you swipe left, if both parties are interested, its a much from the chat gates open. Mind one just to say, im the end of fix the problem actually looking for a steady relationship. Starting with the desire for someone who really wants to open up and spend time with me. Who wants us to open up to each other and do things together. And then see where it goes from. There are infinite us. More and more people are using Online Dating services. The figure for germany is 9. 6 percent, and austria brings up the rear with 6. 3 percent. In addition to smartphone apps were choices made on the basis of a photo. There are also much brokers. Clients fill out a questionnaire and Computer Program then works out who would be a suitable partner. Calculations lay the foundation for the escaped about him over now and then i find profiles where i think wow, i just have to get to know him. Ive got this feeling and i simply from the photos and 5 written statements does. But thats a very, very rarely have still in reality, its often confirms when we 1st meet up with. Ive got a feeling i think gets pretty well. I know what i like about a man and i sense quickly if its there and says its actually good at cana. Unfortunately, that doesnt mean things will necessarily end positively. Better. Youre not dating enough. Believe me, everyone is just overjoyed when i send them on a day. Because dating is worse than brushing your teeth. Dating is like learning vocabulary. Everybody wants to speak a foreign language, but nobody wants to sit down and do their homework. We ask sarah to take advice from one of the countless stays in coaches who follow the market known as the date. Dr. Emmanuel albert gives flirting in dating tips on t. V. And social Media Channels to choose just 2 to 5 euros a minute. In other words, between 120 and 300 euros an hour and speaking to them is just as important as Online Dating. Even more important when youre dating that its in the back and forth like maybe you like this woman. Maybe shell respond, maybe not. So i always say speak to your common people, come to me, are a real mix of a few more men than women. The breakdown is around 60 percent men to 40 percent women own. But things are very similar when it comes to the ability to build a relationship. Thats a big issue today that people no longer commend so easily. Youre going to, its a lot harder to find a relationship. In this respect, the tips i gave are very similar. But when it comes to speaking to something, getting to know someone, your men need a lot more courage to take that more than standard. You have to give them something to take a more direct approach in present. The selfstyled date doctor provides digital and analog advice in the search for a part of your every move he says can be a ladies man, dont be shy, just practice practice and practice. A bit of the rovell. So clear the man, theres the predator, the woman, the prick. We can fudge it a bit. Take the famous 33 kilos, 3 set demeters 3 years and still just fine. We need classic answers to classically stupid questions. Like, what are you doing here . How long have you lived here . Because we dont want to say, ive been here 10 years and know 2000 guys and wow, i saw you and we might hit it off. Then it means it will lead us to men. I think about how men stretch the truth. Its mostly about how tall they are. Im a fairly small person. So in my case they didnt need to. The bought tire as often as i. Sometimes they lie about their age to off or they try to pose as someone whos looking for a serious relationship wont really, but then they dont follow through and it ends faster than i was and ask, tossed it for all out of it. Since women cheat to me included, i miss the sleep of its because of my age. Found in my experience of the older a woman is the less attractive she is just because of the number that showing it might afford us. My pictures are all real and up to date. I know that i look younger than my age. So im not embarrassed to say im younger than i really am. I make myself about 4 years younger max, obviously, and i do tell them that when we 1st meet. So just imagine you speak to 5 men every week. Could it be that one was nice and you had 2 or 3 good chats with someone you never see again, but with whom you had a good time. Someone that has things in common with you, buddy, for whom you might not have feelings or love or tall. People underestimate what can happen when you speak to someone every week, your setting a foundation and then building on it as us Online Dating, underlying where Online Dating is concerned. He does have certain pointers to give what i give them to any of my girlfriends, anyone personally, i find them all rather obvious. But if someone is just starting off with Online Dating and feels they need advice, certainly they can talk to him. But i do think that for other people, it makes sense today choosing the right partner is a crucial cost benefit calculation. Just like choosing the right job or apartment dating calls for self optimization and promotion. It takes time and effort. When i say im dating someone, then it really means work. Want to move to. I want to open up to that person and do lots of things with them. If you desire to pursue them from the feel of a move, many use the word dating to describe always meeting someone new. And in that case, id say the work is more superficial. How much do you need to make sure that youve got lots of time side house is a historian at harvard university. Shes researching the cultural history of dating work describes the search for a partner from the start of the 20th century until today we caught over here for a bit where she were invited to speak at an international conference. When i was researching the book, i would talk a lot to people when people learned i was writing a book about the history of dating, they would tell me about their own dating lives. And often i would notice this language of exhausted. You know, this language of feeling exasperated and what i mean by that in my book is that dating which is sold as a kind of consumer activity or fun is related to what we think of as real work in at least 2 ways. 1st. It absolutely is a kind of economic transaction and always has been on dating apps. We should be desirable commodities and surprise the competition. It also requires people to work on themselves and i dont know how well these idioms translate, but in english, all these expressions we have for courtship our market expression. So youre on the market off the market. Damaged goods is not nice, but i think people say hard to get. So this idea that youre trying to shape yourself as a kind of commodity that youre selling on the dating market and youre simultaneously shopping around for someone else. This is something new in the historical period im talking about, and its something that makes people feel a lot of pressure to work on themselves and leslie in the uk market music neighborhood, we are meeting so germanys most famous couples therapist. This work has given them firsthand experience of the challenges and problems involved in the digital search for a partner. And getting to know people. New potential partners is a lot easier for those who have the courage to get involved on the digital dating scene. Since at the same time, its also scary, big to see in the final analysis, it creates a totally new, previously unknown situation. Youre only able to orient yourself in the unimaginable number of possible relationships. So this was much more restricted earlier and wasnt stimulated to the point that a person was unable to say, oh, now i finally found someone and im glad about it. Instead theyre wondering, is it ok to stop now . After all, there could be a better offer. Duffy had shown of her and says who is currently under board and because everyone involved is searching for someone. Everyones wondering if there could be Something Better out there that the month in the isle of the small concession which promotes a feeling of chronic insecurity. Growing in your head of extreme, youve become extremely indifferent. A lot more superficial than you really are. And i probably have too, ive become a more superficial person. The ball i am for the dog. It only takes one photograph in the mix to make you think. Maybe hes not the right person. Then you immediately swipe to the left. Which of course means hes gone to vic. I commence or is a 6 and couples therapist. Recently she began to answer questions about sex on dating apps. She believes digitization has changed the way we get to know one another under sexuality. She warns of an over sexualized society. Today we live in a kind of paradise. A table has been set before us and we have an amazing range of choice around the clock and usually free of charge. Our next partner for a lovely evening can be quickly found on our smartphone or g. P. S. Perhaps already at the next bus stop or in the same train. These days, the 1st topic to be discussed is sex. Why people dont see if they can actually speak to each other. You know, someones sexual preference before you know their name. And sometimes you dont even know that youre in an anonymous fear full of a vailable opportunities have been released given infinite freedom and we 1st have to learn how to handle it. Well, i had debbie asked her partners book 3 requirements for sex a long time ago. Sex talents are growing in sophistication and the know increasingly intense experiences by camillus or warns of casual use of what she calls tools for super stimuli. If often when ive observed 3 major changes in my practice, 1st old sexual problems are coming in a totally new form. Young man with a reptile dysfunction and men and women who cant achieve orgasm or a lack of enthusiasm for sex. Theyre said to be exclusive to women, but in the spirit of equality, men are now catching up slowly and over taking women. Lack of last isnt their problem. Lack of a desire for sex with a partner is somebody that was also happened is that there are qualitative changes to what used to be hard. Core is now soft porn. Things like voyeurism fetishism exhibitionism and b. D. s. Sam, formerly seen as perversions have arrived in regular society, they are no longer seen as abnormal behavior. Is a given to speak up without the an affront to testify and all, and then there are the quantitative issues. The gap is steadily widening between virgins who cater to themselves wonderfully and Virtual Worlds who know everything theoretically, but have no practical experience. And those who tender from bed to bed at night here is where we slip very quickly into porno and sex addiction. This applies to the virgins, as well as the promiscuous who can no longer find the off switch, or who are unable to be intimate in a proper relationship by its true for both. Even those who tender from bed to bed and who actually try to run away as soon as the knickers drop. Take a Single Knowledge of troy for people i think are just as faithful or own fate. Well as theyve always been. But the opportunities for infidelity have increased considerably economic pressure on people to remain faithful has dropped enormously in the past. There be a letter or someone would be caught me and or a hotel bill for a double room in that suit jacket, went to the cleaners. The result was a jealous person and the heated argument and the affair would be downplayed, or there would be a confession if you like, through a common. But the chasm that opens after checking someones mobile home, reading their emails or seeing all the photos and all the facets of a relationship laid bare in the form of images and texts to say, well, thats a shock. Especially when our partner had no clue that this is sort of this, i feel has become a totally new kinds of relationship problems that people who met online used to lie and say we met at the farmers market. And if they said wed met online, i may as well have said we got to know each other backstage at a sex shop and add in a hardcore magazine. And it would have had the same effect for about 1800, if you had told anyone anywhere in the world that what marriage is, is that you choose your favorite person and live just with them and any children you have for the rest of your life. And you should be together because its your favorite person, your best friend. You also want to have sex with. People would have said you were crazy. That concept is less than 200 years old. Before then, passions moved into police and some of the rigid conformities of a conventional army. Nevertheless, well have the sentrys own deal. From months a glove as the basis for marital bliss and start a large city in the search for the right person. So the big shift to greater personal freedom when time to hurt with most of social upheaval. Its around the time of the Industrial Revolution around the time that men start working for wages that people start working in industrial jobs outside the home. All these massive social changes that take place around the time of the french, an american revolution. We start to see these new family farms and this new ideal of romantic love, right . That people should choose their partner, the freedom of choice, a point 2000000 only women have to work her to advance by marrying a move from british or circles, then began the so for improvements culture once it ceases to be that men come to the womans home, invited by her and supervised by her parents and becomes the case that men invite women out right, men invite women to go to a bar, dance hall or a movie. Courtship starts to take place in a mens world and the world of the market in the world of work. The stories do you think is also born of a months of patient. The 1st women to agree to go and dates. Workers in immigrants who would come to the city after the 1st world war, the wealthy began to teach as well. It was all the rage at the moment that i call the invention of dating, we also see the rise of many new kinds of social spaces where young people can mix and meet one another. These include dance halls. These include movie theaters, these include boardwalks, or you might go out. I talk about these as a kind of analog or real life social media because like our social media today, there are sites that bring people together and facilitate certain kinds of interactions. So a bar that you go into is set up for you to meet in, interact with people in a specific way. No way thats not totally dissimilar to the social media. We rely on so much for dating today. Online dating is a booming economic sector. And so do you, do, you know, who is estimated at 3400000000 euros . Good news. Wolf is one of the founders of tinder. Now the best known do you think platform worldwide . Its clients choose partners on the basis of photos and g. P. S. Turned her back to tender, and the rooms are only bright yellow empire. And the dressing up called global wolf is often referred to as the dating queen because as they like to see britain lucia released online takes you we didnt really think about it as a rebel, a revolution on dating. I think it was really giving people access to people in ways they never had access to each other before. So if you think about it, traditionally you rely on being at the right place at the right time, or having a friend in or gives you to someone. And so you have very limited options. And when you meet, you dont have access to see whos in the building next door and how the opportunity if you want to, thats just never has existed. Thats not quite true. And so do you not forget the kid in the 1st system . People who was already on the market 3 years ahead of tinder. The rest kinder is still a step ahead today. Its cooperation with the dating community to fight racism and discrimination by using humor to make users aware of marginalizing profile text. That contrasts sharply with many head for sexual dating apps, where users are made to feel that such social pressures exist. I think the best thing you can do on Online Dating is use that as a platform to truly be yourself. So in real life, theres a lot of pressure to maybe fit in with your colleagues or your friends or to fit a certain mold and try to be something every dating up needs. Something that makes it unique to their clients who want to date, especially women to the platform and the marketing pitch is centered on feminism. And the 1st step of making the most is for women only. With me, wolf carefully maintains her image as a powerful woman. Yet on her social media who pages she celebrates herself, would have sung and she proved herself as a looks real housewife. While she permits the world to share their jet set lifestyle. Of course, she also ponders him. Technology could be used to make the world a better place. So Technology Just gives people a platform to behave in another form. But theres something people on there still, you know, reacting to their psychological trenchards. And if you think about the way weve raised men and women globally, men have constantly been get been given the, the pressure to go after women, to chase them to get them. And when there is this pressure to go get something, youre going to be rejected. Oftentimes, and if you think about the psychology of rejection, thats very powerful, rejection leads to obsession and aggression. And so when you reject somebody, and that person has the ability to hide behind a profile, and theres no government to control the consequence of bad behavior. You are left with a lot of abusive behavior, kinda hard to make people tender promoted itself by claiming it had done away with the pain of rejection. Because you dont even notice when youve been deleted on the make shift. But of course, thats not the case. The pain simply comes later on, but if someone has got their hopes up, then theyre likely to get hurt even more deeply. But most of society should feel it off now and get marked out. Because they found theyve been discarded when the other person has found Something Better. But this form of rejection is known as ghosting. Simply disappearing happened in the 1st 2 books in the age of digital communication. Contacts are just as easy to pin the broccoli as they were to establish any fluid that digital discourse into this and to remind people claimant patel of the dial up phone, the one that our grandmothers and grandfathers use. People also claim that the car ruined romance, because back in that time, the parents would be involved when theyre there when their kids at the age of marriage, whatever that now started dating that they would be there, they would accompany them, they would be involved in the car could take you away. So this is Just Technology and this is innovation in this is, this is us innovating. Its culture. Its not destroying it. Its giving more access card change lives that lets you get from point a to point b. Lets go explore your love life in your relationship so much better. The telephone of course, life changing and these platforms to connect with people are also life life changing to be all the time you see a show on. Oh, what weve seen is with Online Dating to so that the relationship is romanticized artificially devoid. I was just about to cancel my 4 ship subscription, so to speak when i found you and dicked around. And then i lost interest in Everything Else with this interest, if i was under for the war that i think still represents a deep yearning scene. So i was using far ship and did the psychological test for 20 minutes, you have to answer questions like do you like raisins or did you often wet the bed as a child . In the end you are one of 3 kinds of people. I am only 10 percent intellectual and only 10 percent emotional on through but 80 percent of me is passion driven so i dont think our ship is so great. As you may like flattering psychological test results better. What is more cost 60. 00 euros a month . Or is it cheaper for straight people . This is humbug. Theres just one red house on the street. , this is where a few go. Schneller lives. Now, 88 years old in the 1960 s. , the psychologist developed the 1st match, making test for a magazine, and later notorious par, ship test as well. 80 questions and a top secret oh, good rhythm designed to help someone find their better half i was already in or im arrogant enough to say that my characterization of a person is fairly accurate. If its slightly off, that could be because he or she didnt get honest answer in the study or maybe answered in a way that they thought would be more acceptable or give them an attractive characteristic when they dont really have been of course self perception and the way others see us can divert greatly tutti, its theirs, but it does for a bit. But thats a problem across the board. Your mind not just one thats exclusive to partial. People can have a totally skewed selfimage. Its the high priced for payment platform is one of the leaders in the german language dating world. The freeman such as importance to being beyond comparison with tinder and other online services. Partials says its core and unique selling point is the interest serious scientific matching test, which includes questions like, do you sleep with the window open . Long term relationships generated from zeros and ones who wants a bit of romance, professors now has a tip. Internet or implementing best. The internet and romance go wonderfully together. Thank you. Put 2 candles next to the computer and youve got romance, even when youre searching or filling out a questionnaire. Oh, month romance is wonderful, but its in here. And you can also get manufactured romance on the internet coming off the internet, or to visit today, every toothbrushes, ordered online, it arrives in the mail. So weve gotten used to the idea of finding a partner this way. Thats been the whole d. M. V. Why not at home, and if we do everything with these electronic busy boxes that none of this maria client 2 has been in the love business for more than 40 years. The good friends of mine now for over 3. Im a fun guy to begin with. There were matchmakers and dating agencies and then the dating sites shot on to the market. And ill put it this way. We had a bit of a famine. Sometimes i really wondered when i would just close up shop when i would no longer be able to live from it. But over the course of time that changed again, suddenly, its bounced back. I wouldnt say people are leaving the dating platforms, but theyre coming back to me more often. The good old dating agency is a relic from the precomputer age. Put file cards, heatly sorted according to name, income, profession, and naturally social status and family background. And also selects possible partners by heart, which of course increases the cost for the client. After all, here the wheat is separated from the chaff in advance. And i dont know how i lit up by my fee is 3000 euros for younger clients rising to 67 or 8000 depending on the degree of difficulty. That might sound a bit strange, but if someone has rather special than the search for a suitable partner is more complicated. The 50s needs to say everyone who comes to me can make suggestions based on the existing clientele. And but when i notice that something is going a bit more special, then i go in search of the right partner. Then he does. Although not maria clearly says that shes made more than one of those budgets. Shes been in business now for nearly 40 years. In Old School Still she pleases and proper middle class newspapers and studios is this tried and true method. Just as she did in the past. As a vicious appearances always important, thats just the way it is. I always state quite clearly that a person barely falls in love with good character. And since its about a relationship, sex appeal is part of it. And that means finding the other person sexually attractive. I think this is an important aspect, and its important as well that the 2 people are similar, have the same sense of humor and outlook on life. So theyll be able to understand each other when they converse, according to a study by a chinese dating platform for at least 5 percent of men, there is never a lead that fits. They end up on the digital back burner. Even though for many years now, countless goods have been published, the arch of the image secrets. You have to know when order to find your dream mate the roles which men and women have to play in this part, they do remain unchanged. The woman is the possible object of desire and the, the hunter theres a book for men called the game and a book for women called the rules. And i think that this difference, you know, the game is a book all about how to make women feel desperate to sleep with you and sort of how to get disposable fast relationships. The rules are all about how women must never show what they want, but play this long game of tricking man into liking them by, you know, not calling when you want to, not sleeping at them when you want to making yourself seem accessible. And i think that the difference between the rules and the game really is sort of distills the ways in which these very fashion binary gender norms still play out in the dating advice literature. Traditional gender stereotypes. I want it all up out here, and its through thomas schieffer. Elmira runs this dancing school, which has been a business 1st century. Its the tinder of back in the day. And vienna, its still traditional for youngsters to attend a dance course when they turn 60 and too small for you, for she didnt like to came around. You get to know so many different people. A dance course. Its a great opportunity to find someone who is on the same wavelength, is thats why dance schools in particular produce lifelong and deep friendships. Not to mention numerous matches and even marriages, even this me thinks through the by one of the key things about a dancing school, especially in our modern era, is that the 2 genders can meet naturally and honestly on a neutral ground. And learn to get along with one another without having to have any fear of touching literally. And it behooves, thanks to boston, soon as it comes up after all, when they start the course, their own able to take up the correct dancing position. Anyway. These are they all come with this built in personal space during the course of they get over. This is you learn to approach each other and move in harmony together is see in newtown, these are things which are also very important in life. Vincent, the new, the, you know, whos leading the of the sticks and along with the vienna walls. Good manners are part of the course curriculum. These are the golden rules of etiquette for men and women. Most of which date back to imperial times old film material of how or perhaps how not to kiss a ladys hand. Some men take the ladys hand, bower over it, and the kisses quite damp, making a lip smacking sound thats not recommended. And some ladies pass up their good fortune when their hand is taken for a kiss. She doesnt want it and pushes her hand down hard. Now, there are 2 types of men, here are those they give in and bend down to kiss the ladys hand and the other more energetic type. Who says she doesnt want one . Well then ill use force and out my other hand and bring her hand up and there the cares. And the woman posed to watch the match from a kid, someone who meant to smartphones. Because these days, even a smartphone is a Constant Companion and bowls in fear. Its a development the streets dont School Director views with mistrust. Because in 320 of me, we focus so much on our mobile phones and all these other things, but not on the people who are right next to us. And thats a major problem. Man, importantly, my profile is just a one liner. It says on the 1st date, by pay for all the drinks the on the, i think he can be expected to pay for things on the 1st date. So you think its thats worked so well that i send a disclaimer with my 1st text response. No cocktails, just beer and wine and no friends either. And i need to be allowed to sit at the same table. And they always say you dont get a 2nd chance to make a 1st impression. So when i go somewhere, i have to think carefully about the kind of impression id like to me sending. Ive got a list of icebreaker questions. Like do you look pretty or ugly when youre crying . And then this gives prehuman instead of calm. Once the conversation has gotten going, you should try to identify the other persons interests who came in out of the school team to fuel your device using the funnel that it would be a bad start with open issues and then slowly focus on a topic that interests the other person you would be, or what did your mom call your penis . Well being human because when someone is talking about their favorite subject will feel at ease and open up maidens off that way. Of course, when you get to know someone much better than if you present yourself as a special deal yourself with the course of the past and use of group think its cool. Its a role that has lived in vienna for many years. Hes already had one or 2 personal experiences with dating apps and says they provide perfect material for comedy. Dating is common to the dating issue is brilliant for comedy because we live in a time when there are more and more single households or you and i hate when people work a lot and go straight home afterwards. So Online Dating is a way of getting to know a great deal about a person fairly quickly and the equipment had to let the chanel in a little. And then mention basically Online Dating is also embarrassing things. All pain as well because within a short period of time, youre showing someone part of yourself and a mention, and then just and everything that somehow embarrassing has Great Potential to be something funny. But inside, because it is that the internet has replaced the gig club, the workplace, and the church as the places where a couple 1st meet today. Its possible to find like minded people worldwide at whatever disadvantage aldermans social inequality. According to a study, more and more couples have the same level of education, and one factor is universal to find. So when you have to work hard to know what you want, keep refining your search and present yourself perfectly. Well, how we work is becoming more flexible. How we look is becoming more flexible to the ways we live are changing. People are living much longer, for instance, theyre living much more precariously as well. I think many young people, you know, dont know where theyre going to work in 5 years, dont know where theyre going to live. We dont have the same kinds of long term rangelands in many aspects of our social life as we used to. So i think that maybe what were seeing with this shift, some more flexible definitions of relationships, people deciding that they want nonmonogamous arrangements. This is actually a reflection of a profound change in our social structures thats taking place thats not just personal preference and then you get the digital tool that lets you do it. Its like a real deep change. This is this fleeting, hectic characteristic that with everything taking place faster and faster is of course symptomatic of society as a whole because its so its reflected in relationships to whats needed is a kind of opposition or sort of barrier in that we close ranks against the consumer society, while our couple to find peace together and feel syria is on a way to a tinder date in a cafe in downtown vienna. We want to know what made her swipe to the right. I mean, what appealed to me was that he immediately mentioned that hes not interested in one night. Stands because he wants to get to know woman as a person can unlearn and weave way the discretely outside the car family to find out how serious date went. This is how there wasnt a mega wow feeling i think well probably have another drink and then depending on how late it is or how tired we are, i could easily imagine that, well, perhaps go have a drink somewhere else. But thats all of us. Well both be sleeping in our own beds. Move when streets sparkle with color. When houses are decked out in old couture and the art works are beautiful and tasty. Then its time for your romance. This time its street art, stylish housing, and animal masterpieces. Youre romex. 30 minutes of d w. Staying up to date. Dont miss our highlights. Program on line. D. W. Dot com highlights from the above. The ultimate no lose bobby popstars rails against the upshot silence. The toughest thing, despite coming from your family plans to become president and the challenges of god as tom bodett come up with the team. Credible story of bobby walking block starts december 10th on g. W. Bob, thank this is d. W. News live from berlin. A Coronavirus Vaccine could now be one step closer. And, german pot now beyond tax cut last for emergency approval for vaccine in the u. S. , they say they could begin sending out dozers within hours of approval. Also on the program as saudi arabia prepares to host the g 20 summit. Some european lawmakers call for a boycott of the event demanding saudi leaders come clean with human rights abusers