Beethoven 2020 the 250th anniversary here on deep. Cuts. Then paris has lost his child his daughter halle died just before she was born its a very very difficult 6 oclock phase and i didnt know that i didnt know what feelings i was having it just happened it was the worst thing ive ever. Felt. Dennis finding solace in the sense united Football Team all of the players playing alongside him in kent in southern england have lost the baby. For everyone here football is a lifeline. Becoming a father was a dream come true for them paris he had a good job as a Customer Service manager with a phone company and a happy relationship. Everything was going to plan for him and his partner lottie. But just before your t. Was supposed to give birth the baby stopped moving. She was quite an active go yeah. But like a dad. And she just there was lack of movement she went in one day to have some tests just to hook her up some machines find out where the hostel based and she was she was fine 2 days later see we went in because we found im a friend. And stop eating if they dont take a man and confirmed and on ultrasound there was no hot date than just fell to the floor in can play there and. Swallow. And that will stay with me forever and i think his wow like he just kind of think in a minute in an instant that over sudden everything changes that his feet in order to overcome the shock dad and his partner were advised to spend time with a dead baby to hold her in their arms. Today hell is part of their everyday lives there is no grey for her the parents keep her ashes at home so shes always with them. In the beginning it was very hard for them to talk about his feelings that. Like most men not saying all but most he had to be the man and look after the woman and you know that i was a mess i was awful. Even though i was heartsick how shocking it was i was doing everything i could its a my head in my mind to look after. My partner it was about 6 months later. He started getting better. Not so much i would say better she started to cope with that and in my head it just as if my balls just suddenly broke down and i just couldnt. I dont know i just couldnt take it. Then felt helpless he didnt have the strength to go to work. I couldnt explain why it was happening because i saw. Ive grieved with my partner but then apparently i hadnt and that took quite a lot to come back from. Dan struggled with panic attacks and depression. Now hes feeling better thanks also to the support of his Football Team sans united. Now have teams in the whole of the u. K. More. Than pleasant defense he never misses the week he training session. Everybody here feels the same as me and if i need to talk i can but other than not just elected a hard just relation manager on the pitch now his arm around a bunch of lads that will cost him a 3 2nd thing and it is a family his north of take his family like. Many other players the sons united have also experienced miscarriages some of them are no fathers but others have no idea whether they will ever hold their child in their obvious. Theyre playing football for halle or york for macy and for freddie. Playing football for the dead babies. Of the one is it is a good squad of luck ok its ok to feel down. But it doesnt make you less of a man it doesnt make you less of a person nothing but love for sale where for a 2nd family room. Everyones coffee and were as close is a Family Member for later we were very upset and surprised that some people didnt dont even recognise the fact that weve had a loss of talk or think that because they couldnt see it it didnt exist of. And i suppose with with this group i think. We recognize that you become a parent as soon as you find out that youre having a baby or even maybe before that. Sometimes the men talk about their loss even while theyre in the middle of training. Other times it just come for the support. Ive always been a very outgoing person ive never been afraid to be around people to do anything. Like share my feelings or say things like that and then but when this happened i just i couldnt i can be around people i felt very on edge in the light his past and i didnt know even being sometimes around like my big group of friends i found it hard. That has been a musician for years. He sings in a cover band and they perform at weddings and birthday parties. Point to care that you. Lose the guitarist is one of dans oldest friends but talking to his friend about the loss of a spade he was not easy for lewis. It was hard to get like really hard to begin with parsley and quiet like a silent person saw. I think the best way i dealt with it with dan was to. Kind of acknowledge it. Ask him if he needs any think and really leave it there until he says something to me because this last lost me want to do is trying to constantly not nag but bring up. Playing football than can choose to open up or just enjoy the game. For the last few months the team has been playing in the 2nd division theres a game every sunday that is always that. Before every game there is a minute of silence in commemoration of the last babies. Seriously this is also i struck. Out on who got. So far the sens united dads have never won the game but today the feeling hopeful. Of a season some of our plasm play football. For numeracy is so were still for the referee but i 1st was coming early i think these guys get in there. Which means their offense o. S. 100 percent this is all about what can say i mean you say oh they say stifle brains to get us a long time and yet were here for a different race and we dont football should we dont want to win the game as well. The whole team usually comes when theres a game to support the players some bring their families along. Many dont talk about it i dont think i think like i kind of close up i quite quiet about these sorts of things whereas the women do tend to have a lot more support because theyre the ones of physically going through it we dont mind going and last i was out there in the room sometimes guys tanks just dont want to do that so its different support thing and have you seen a change in your partner so yeah oh massively yeah massively was much happier. For dad the games are also an opportunity to be around children were. Right. The star you do just feel when you see babies and children and i thought i should have this i should have my child of my own. And it was just a lot to take he just filled it building up inside to reza said over time its not so much that your happy and comfortable with it but you just learn to deal you learn to get your iron coping mechanisms. Ive got rice on there ways her name on it and i says this a day about this is daddy and holly. And i dont even know sometimes but. Somebody is picked up on it the occasionally ill just i will kiss my wrist. Didnt even clock sued in my brain sometimes ive even done it. To see that several other players were able to have children even after several miscarriages get stand hope that one day he too would have his own family. Today everything is going well for the 1st time since joining the 2nd division sans united to winning 42. 00. Its uplifting for the players. Well i would say probably just be sour hard a wreck without these guys i feel closer to the state i think there are a lot of close up is that why not just because i know that we will take you same journey together but were both going through the same emotional rugger time so you know if someones having a bad day you want to live for that we all are there whether its right. A cold weather is just sitting in the backgrounds but Everybody Knows that were there for each other. And thats the most important thing for sans united much more important than winning a football game. Grab a paddle and off you go. Nicole through excessive venturous journey along germanys land river im very excited about what awaits me on the craft the river the landscape added challenge it allentown or along the way i am planning my monitors ahead to move on by looking all the way from the town called chicken of the. W. When the prices of. Cities will sink into the sea. Entire stretches of land will be abandoned. To the water mr rose. Says 3 quarters are supposed to prevent flooding but the only delay the inevitable. Will live in the future 66 meters with rising sea levels. In the 45 minute spondee w. What secrets lie behind. Discover new adventures in 360 degree. And explore fascinating World Heritage sites the p. W. World heritage 360 getting up now
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