With ideas that are part of our future fix our own house a part of our. Carlos world our documentary stories made w. The perception that germans are white the head and blue eyed has never been true and will never be true its and. People always ask me where im from its not. Possible to be german and like. From the moment i get up and leave the house in the morning im confronted with racist views images and stereotypes of people. As a child i always wanted to have white skin because ive heard bed being black and not being able to blend in and i was kind of sticking hold of the group and being you know different than the rest i didnt want to be different. I am traveling around germany to talk with other black people about or experience with racism my 1st stop this ham thats where i was born in. I had absolutely wonderful parents and that helped me a lot in difficult situations. I mean i always had a lot of friends about what i do remember. That we played these funny games like whos afraid of the black man and tender little negroes thats called in german so and i remember that sometimes they ran after me and said yeah nothing can hurt in Something Like janice an effort kenyan as an african and the problem is that african men something bad. At 1st met somebody looks when i was a teenager and have today hes one of germanys most successful reface. In hip hop on. Board the. Ship might. Take me but me could by looking into. A lot. Of things over usable results thing. Ive come to see semi and its doing well as you. Say the way it was this had a number of top 10 hits and misses a little the a 1000000 records. Just like today he also produces other musicians. Just proposing. As he forgets a kid i wanted to be white and cute thats right. Yeah as a kid white and as a teenager i really wanted to be black. Thats nice only still need to not have this ambiguity it seems so clear cut like on the white sides and white people just knew they were black people did to me i felt like i was in the middle i grew up in a white family in a white neighborhood it was definitely a challenge. And the challenge of distance vision for me the feeling of being caught in between is something imposed on you from the outside i mean people always say dont you see taunton conscious black and why do you feel more bought off that is me out effect this yourself i dont find it unusual why should i have to choose whether. Im fucked up by me or guns you one thing that cause me a fair amount of confusion right from the start was that i have straight hair on justice by me and was a woman machine and when she wrote as and when she could sneak going on top of the stand in grade school if some kid called me the n. Word and i reacted defensively or aggressively theyd say hes in a lousy youre not really a nigger because your hair is straight with me so for me that was like ok im dark enough to get called the n. Word but my hair isnt frizzy or curly enough for me to have the right to get upset about it because to me that was the 1st contradiction that was imposed on me from the outside. I would have let you go to some flea has some about humorous didnt you its often in song i was ashamed of that so i told him i wrote the song in 2008 at the time i was reading a harry potter book to my son in the evening it bad times and one night he said he wished he were white because then he could be like his friends in the moment and all you have to do is paint that thing on his forehead and wear around glasses and hed look like harry potter film and you could do a lot of sets and also we have reports and i wish him good but that made me realize that theres an acute shortage of dark skinned superheroes so i wrote the song and made a really nice video to go along with it. Competition is with us with my. Advice coming to the fleet something good. Im leaving the room when they leave. For. Me here. I might as well like going lying on my lap i dont like saying no. But. By the last guy. Was close to his long period of time thats a long game a long long time so just dont like. The rush money like this like me i think i was right. Its a high i can remember when i was a teen i was into novena and thats when i started going to parties and the other kids would say vanna you like youre listening to that and the should be listening to black music i did and i liked it more and then it was the best music scene whatever that means hip hop and r. And b. Album it was cool on them and is a see in the and then all of a sudden yes a black person the part of the majority of im up on my own. And then when these positive associations pulls its evil us its you and you had a son does it go with us well from a single i think thats one of the main reasons i became who i am been through to the young where this rep thing this test of a rap was the 1st thing that gave me a Home Court Advantage so to speak im for tired houses i just had to let my pants hang a little bit lower paying less in this case my cap to the side and move like this it was on the side and everyone was into it it looked authentic and it fit well with my exotic status those clothes if i did graffiti deejaying collected records started producing rapping guns and beat boxing and all the hip hop disciplines except break dancing that was too much work so youre telling me i. Just body type because ill. Only with words. As a journalist i dont have a Home Court Advantage. When i decided to become a journalist and when i became an anchor i was actually i think the 1st female black anchor and germany i didnt have any role models. To not to maybe ill be happy to come for me its really important that they should really you know when this switch on the t. V. That might see me and think oh right i can be on t. V. And read the news and i dont have to have a job which was phillips the racist stereotypes for me that would be great if i could help bring down barrios in that sense. That people have been living in germany for 400 years but today they numbered about 1000000 from me in cologne of come to see. You support them yeah. He was born in 1925 and belin. Why did your father come from chemical into germany back then come in one by cameroon was a German Colony to. Be run for you. Just as people used to dream of going to america. At that time many Young Africans wanted to come to germany. There is no such thing as what we know called racism. At least not as we know it today. It only started to take shape when the Young Africans started asserting themselves for instance by marrying german women oh. And the reaction was there taking away our women the nothing prince in the name once he had to follow in vain. Sam now you appeared in ethnographic exhibits also known as humans zeus what was that like stands before the imagine human being those of us being exhibited like objects literally exhibited earth present from what they supposedly represented of namely africa with vast skirts and drums dancing saunders. And. Didnt the idea was that people under splay were foreign exotic. And were showing spectators what their homeland was like the cynthia. Basically it was just a big show. Me i might as good im going to the numbers show evidence how crazy is that us a german was supposed to imitate this will perceive. Africa i was just such a huge continent. And hes a consummate. Window had shrugs i was sort of im a black man so of course i should be able to do that thats how it is its in my blood and lets talk about the nazi era its so hard to imagine because black people would obviously attract attention in every genre that was so racist as right as a member of the kind and. We didnt need to wear yellow stars. Everyone could see we were aliens. Did you know a lot of other black people in germany oh yeah sure everyone knew everyone and please remember so many colonial films made back then but the many of us would meet up as part of the cast. Yet thats me. This is mine and thats my close up this studio like the fact of the shot a close up of me. And everyone who was in black was in that film. It is a good thing i was 16 at the time. And it struck me that my god were all here together. They could take us away without anyone noticing or not thats his oath. And that thought we were very heavily on me this. Is going good thank god i never came to pass the but then. We were too few in number to matter to the nazis that. When i die oh you know all contact with white women but by the fair women horrible home field. I would have been sterilized still and in the. End i might also have been charged with racial defilement being the passenger and. How do you say that you took great care not to get too close to a white woman. Was it like how you being all trying to become invisible how can we imagine what it is forced to see men the sleestak thats the right word invisible we could become the only of course with a face like this i could never completely disappear. But i tried. I think thats what i really did have some smoke and skipped as i and the main thing was to keep your head down can your mouth shut. I made sure i did that as well. To the point that i started to starter but. Yeah i started terribly. Well the amount of food listening to the difficult often horrible things you experienced. How did you find the strength to go on but yeah in the w. C. Well i have to say with gods help. I became a religious person the league as i mentioned above. Thats what you go. To one year michel always says theres nothing in the german constitution that states what the german is supposed to look like but some people havent gotten the message for them were still exciting. When i was a child complete strangers would touch my hand say it feels like a birds nest. Right oh my god oh my god its good to see you still see my watch breakfast t. V. Every morning i turn on the set and think like an afro german woman on german public t. V. Be as were so proud of you. Know you do such a wonderful job it does what it doesnt do much the story but the tear may look at your character we have to talk about that yes we do. But then i will work in some coconut oil. Like. Cancer on t. V. That bad side is that it is enough not to love your curls ok then i would always wake up look theres a look these are coming early. Now im really happy to be talking to s. That dont call out the phone out of calls a number all clearly had magazines how sometimes i think that the peoples has really politicized its like a political statement whether you have your head down naturally the stereotype is that the hair is messy and wild that doesnt go over but in the professional but also how the afro hair just isnt acceptable. Our Society Still doesnt comply with our ideals of beauty. Look at beyond saying shes a black woman that shes a performer of the shes the embodiment of empowerment but she still wears a straight blonde weve made its kind of anti you know ive met women who work in law offices in places like that we get into trouble if they wear their hair naturally that kind of my. Hand off to the south can you tell us about the natural ham movement does is this sort of fell into. Its about allowing people with afro textured hair to wear it naturally without causing a fuss or having to feel selfconscious. Thats what life is about that with accepting yourself to get set of names as absence of times. Change. To be comfortable in your own skin thats the goal but its not so easy. I think the problem is that if you see all these stereotypes about africa about tribes about being primitive of the perrier native underdeveloped. It hits you. Part of the problem on the images from the days of colonialism and the lin dance to streets named after german colonies and colonialists. And berlin and 884 dead european nations had a conference with a cough the f. A. Cant economies. And he had a street festival aimed at forcing the city to change the name from last. Week. And here was just crazy akins political scientists an activist why its important for you to rename districts the term is one of the oldest words. Person but i should look at the roots of the term that has a latin and the greek roots morris and morris and yes that means dr block but it also means stupid even primitive and so you see already in the origin of the word that there is this idea of like if there are its a benefit we look into the history of the street name if we see that the street was named our quiet its name in the context of the brandenburg involvement in the transatlantic and slave meant and to prize how would you say to us germany to deal with this colonial history i think is a huge problem. A lot of aspects of german korean history are not widely known we cant even begin to understand National Socialism without looking at the colonial and to see this because we find that they are ideological political but also personal continuity. Linking german colonialism and National Socialism. Please and i set off to uncover some of the traces. Soft colonialism in the german capital. Ok i think i moved to berlin 10 years ago but this defers time im seeing this fresco can you explain why im a c. So we had the house and this here shows us the trail of tobacco so you see and slaved african men harvesting tobacco then enslaved African Women packaging the tobacco then it is sorted in a way you know it as a white overseer and then its package further its made ready for shipment and you see one of the white oversea as its already lounging and having a smoke but then you see the ship departing and then not only to see its burden because you see the silhouette of the german the french dont so this clearly explains the source of the wealth that was used to build this place right but of course it also implicates the people that frequented here and the suffering that is also depicted here. Make people often defined by this skin color so when known south african artist robin wrote place with the stereotypes he experienced apartheid in south africa now hes been living in berlin for 4 changes. I. Could see you to see you i can see youre working on a new p. C. s. I have a work in process and its award guy some alderman this is about myself african i did the t. And of course the african is a strong some bull its interesting that you chose here of course i can identify with that but what does i mean look at what void detail at a for have place for you he became a way to to classify a place between souls were placed through he to. Who do depict a kind of the stand and before the racial category. So saying that if they go through my head they say its f. I have i am exactly black on the public at a west coast that is colored always mixed race. So if the goal waned we invaded to find you here because you guys is white how were you classified as a half mom classified as call it as if it is a person of mixed race and so on might be and so my grandparents and. In many ways my cultural background is quiet complex because i know you know we dont associate ourselves with black and neither white. Sorry but i know you view it as black d. C. s likewise german content what i think is in the german gone pics im viewed as out of oh really so thats actually pretty interesting. I use off as a way to subvert but also to to play with. And on the valuable watch these kind of cultural labels off. This particular piece really expected me to baiting if it needs to be defined it needs to be categorized and im trying to knob explore the notion of something that is completely in this something that is completely undefined. I was born in 1981 and in the early ninetys we had a serious off blue to vases to taxi in germany and also placed in hot and high us to get it and selling it was really backed by stand the 2nd key. During the attacks. It was really heartbreaking to see and it frightened me so much as a child i. Was. And i think thats something that is also very scary if you look at the recent vice and racist attacks on refugees in germany and so few of the people who take them were caught and put on trial and i think thats a very dangerous message to everyone who experience racism because it means ok you can be attacked but you know you can attack people but you can get away with it in that it gives us the message ok people can do to you whatever they want they wont be put on trial. And that scares me a lot. About us an apprentice roof i mean the essential mean state of sex and the im hot he hasnt been living here for very long in 2013 he fled book enough oxenford germany his job gives the 28 year old some stability but my but otherwise his life is often difficult recently he will speak not by of right wing thought i mean isa and the town of pool where he lives as a few 8 months ago an upright tell us about what it should be right i went into the stall and saw a man and if with a woman in charge. And he said why didnt you look at that shit dish using the n. Word for us to look at this black piece of trash didnt. I didnt say anything that on the show i went to the counter to pay this guy and he went like this. And i said what do you want from me and he says ill show you the show i went over there and he hit me 3 or 4 times like this and i you know muzzle history of how bad the way you hurt many boa i listen to i felt a lot of pain in my stomach youll see and i come down the block for about a month or 2 and were not holding. On but how does it feel when no one steps in to help you when youre being beaten up and you often treated with hostility and insulted and im at how do you cope. With it in a cause youre so im always afraid when i go out now im going to start to see who can i go to work im afraid of what might happen along the way that some people make just just like im going to cut your throat so it is seeing and they shout go back to where you came from people do that to me every day. This is the courthouse in the town of stendhal its where the man who beat up he says im trying. How do you feel knowing you about to see the person would take you to just shut up im not afraid. I cant wait to see him again for and look into his eyes dizzy and fall saddam is your. Idea ted koppel has a long criminal record was found guilty of assault and sentenced to 10 months in jail but he appealed was just a reason for this hearing. The. Cameras arent allowed inside the courtroom that. After 4 ill ask the conscience. And how was it for you today to assure me i never expected it to go so well and of yes it was im very pleased to know something. To turn. The conviction isup helped but the attack that intends to appeal again. Once you wake up in the morning and just switch on the radio or you switch on the t. V. Youre confronted with all these stereotypes about africa and. Its really difficult to talk about racism in germany because once i experience it when i talk about racism people say oh youre too emotional youre overreacting that comfy true im sure the person didnt mean it that way so they dont really take it serious and that its really hard because i feel like i am not taking seriously my experiences. Well those were i think a lot of the secrets. I was raised. Without regret it is the shit all it is. And listening and the author of this play is the artist and writer. The story shes originally from particle but has lived for many years a 1000000000. For me it took a lot of effort to research election history because there was nothing that was presented to me in school for example what all of us silencing play in your assets i think in the last words that ive been doing im very concerned with this question of silencing and speaking and with the with the fact that its not that we have not been producing nodes or have not been speaking but we believe in a system that constantly silence or make these knowledge is invisible racism is really with the for equally for me a ghost that our society never took care of and never cared because we live in these very white Narcissistic Society that dont want to deal with it and then she said well thats me youre not black i dont think that you are black. And she said that in a way as a. Souse doing me a favor when did you. Start feeling that no i dont believe to stahmann and narratives you just talked about when that year was played out its had no no no this cant be it there must be Something Else. I dont know if i can tell you. But i believe it has always been there. Now as a mother i when i am with my children and i hear them bringing. The topic races me even though they are 2. 00 and 4. 00 and 5. 00 its just time 5. It is still i see that aware that is not right and its extremely complicated to explain such a brutal history and this is the trauma of black people and people from many other than aspirants who went through similar experiences collective experiences that you cannot explain and apply any logic to something that is so absolutely most illogical i am not aggressive because this is aggressive yet i comb i do not want to be better. Lets now turn to a question that ive heard more times than i can count how come your parents are white the and south my biological father came from zimbabwe my biological mother from germany directly after i was born in hamburg i was adopted by a german swedish couple. And from me they untag. This is india parish she too was adopted i grew up in best germany she grew up in the east we inside an old guard tower from the days of communist east germany the war divided berlin until 1989 in the Us Biological father is from guinea he was studying at the university of light c. When he met her biological mother but she was married and her husband was in jail nevertheless he said he could imagine raising a child. Star the nation as a hero but he didnt know that i was going to look the way i look at it as if that i would be a black child. On his arm on her guard. As i am leaving and this man was a hard core rightwinger. And not my not the world he got out of jail soon after i was born. It was obvious that i wasnt a white child. Than what they are hired. And he tried. He attempted to kill me for playing or and my left him with my biological mother saw him dangling me out the window so in all likelihood she said before the child is killed i will send her away. If he had to and at some point and she decided to put me up for adoption. Out of the influence of the. Best. Ally in the last move wardens for i think that subconsciously in any case you never forget that you were abandoned by a biological parents one you were born and were unwanted you take that with you to your grave is she in kin to me it still seems unfair to just give away a child like that. And over to him. Our joys oh great stuff. In the other works as a duck trainer and has adopted several neglected dogs. Weve asked them how was it for you and playschool. Yardley problematic via dustins thought one problem was the teachers who thought we shouldnt eat with the other kids to finish with an argument as. We were supposed to wash our hands really thoroughly as if something could rub off on the other kids. We have all complete scene for months and thousands whatever i was going to concerts and we werent allowed to nap near the other children. Own a minute and wouldnt should my parents did everything to protect us. They gave up everything they had to be there for us kids they fought for us they did what they could and i think it was the right thing that they may have to explain it. In the hospital isnt it a thing you hear so often oh adoptive parents can never be the real parents but that is complete nonsense you really feel the loss they have for the children just like any other parents and for the 8 of them absolutely they protect you and do everything for you and your family whether someone gave birth to you are not absolutely for me blood relationship is meaningless. The hope new groups for one track are good for me too and for me its immaterial them and it and as my parents told me about how they drove to the Childrens Home in life where i was. And i crawled straight into my papas arms so for me it was clear thats my papa and thats really great this is my part of your and yard as well today as to tire sharing and thats how it was until the end we were really close. Thats resuming a father no. It wasnt until the age of 17 that in t. N. I met her biological mother. Jones and we had no one to go off. We went for a walk and she sat here and just i didnt want you to turn out so black yes that was the very 1st sentence i heard from my biological mother. And. Because i and i said. Ok well as of what to expect. d talking with other effort germans about our experiences gives me strength thats one reason why im a member of the initiative of black people in germany every year they want to end your meeting this is the 1st time im attending. Normal of either by the frog or through the chef in the kisha zinah alf garden by nests the post where im so whole in the house and temperate too its a control issue its put off sharon to do well sure its holding us on taney his rating up to this and around 270 people have come to the initiatives and the only thing i was harkened the group was front of a 32nd. Attack a day less in the steering committee. And if the diet you tell me how was the initiative found it. It was thanks to 2 happy coincidences the 1st lord was in berlin because im who was i dont. She was an American Writer from the black feminist movement in the us but she was teaching in berlin with you even because over the course of her time there she met a lot of black women who came to her readings discovered that they didnt know each other. So she hit on the idea of connecting them so that they could exchange experiences on dot com she also brought out what i believe is the 1st book of stories told by black people about black people in germany. Crossing the secret mission to mention. I am a black man everyone is welcome to read aloud at initiatives meeting and when i look at a white man i mean i reveal what i didnt. Know in the gathering of the night so i thought about. This as the theme of this meeting is somehow meant in south korea what does it mean. Because our compartment mentions empowerment mean showing black people especially young people and there was a lot they can do with themselves. That they can take charge of a lot of things develop themselves and establish new perspectives of self care within a society influenced by racism entails ensuring that he was a black person stay healthy protect yourself and grow stronger in the mission its a mixture it involves politics but also drinking smoothies or doing yoga or sports or. Its a bonus because some. Give it a somewhat. Go. And to 2011 he played in the German National team. If you could stick. A day in the life of someone. And get not even close to give us the very 1st black German National player and you were also one of the 1st i know that yes the movie is i started playing for germany in 2001 i was set and give up just focused on something every possible way i was not afraid to cross that it was more happening what does that mean how is my you know what i want to be secure lets just say i was the 1st really black was here she was the 1st black africa and thats why. I felt it was an easy for me back then to the south as i could have played from john i was told off for going back to have decided to play for god the time of golf the stuff again this year im i was in uganda but then they didnt play much on the go back to germany and germany was very insistent and at some point i said ok ill play for germany it was a very rewarding very interesting it wasnt easy but it was nice for you but it wasnt easy for the some people some idiots minds even who dont want to accept us and that was my big problem and i want also to see more you do something for your country but youre still the black guy heres an example i was team itself after the world cup in 2006 we came in certain people accepted us and then suddenly a month later you get the food and call the neighbor during a match and that was a moment where seriously consider no longer playing for germany it hurt a hell of. A lot of our time up there after hanging out this talk a bit with ghana a somewhat became a household name and today hes the minutes off cyprus on the 20 threes he was going up in guyana. Well you. Know im from among 5 hours away from uncle vic farms and climate was a small village where people didnt have much notice when after school we play soccer with balls made of socks thats what hides when i look at my such memories when he has everything he doesnt know what to do with money to buy them i had to struggle to get 2 square meals a day. And that was how i grew up and it affected me to be shot going to be made me said goals and saying so i have to give my all to achieve Something Else with russian and i sometime over the coming where i honestly dont know that. I can no longer understand why as a child i wanted to be white even if it takes a lot of strength and energy to deal with racism to hold your head up high i wouldnt want a different skin color not for anything in the world. For me being black means so many syrians it means me that im seen differently but whats going on inside that Something Else. Is just me its nothing more than a skin color and i hope my blackness blooms and becomes my beauty ya can wear all the same i look 1st and foremost im a person with a yes at my age i wouldnt want to change anything about who i have theres no report about it but ill tell you one thing lacks are pretty cool which include dont you think that the. Cup. 3 live for me just one goal put the ball of the next day come all the way to the states. Because football is a team sport. In w. This state of emergency is the normal. People around the world are documenting this traumatic time. Theyre keeping a diary. And welcoming us into the. Discussion as up close and personal as the pandemic. Diaries starts many on t. W. Play. Play. This is d w news why go from berlin a dark day for the u. K. Britain now has europes highest death toll from big bikers more than 32000 people have died in the u. K. That is more than in italy the British Government says its too soon to pass judgment Scientists Say it is clear testing began to link also coming