To bring it over to i dont care faux and this is my no one thing children maybe its not that i. Always known i didnt want to have children its just that ive never known that i wanted to have children if that makes sense but i feel really lucky to have brain gone now instead of a 100 years ago if i could be back on 100 years ago not wanting children pretty much my only options would have begun to become a lonely old woman living in a Gingerbread House deep in the far east or be unknown and i would have made a terrible known thats really glad that i am alive and i think that maybe for quite a long time i wasnt 100 reached a good grounded place within myself it took a long time to feel ok in being in the world its all ok that im here its all ok that exists. There is so much pressure on women to be a certain thing one of those very positive roles is to be a mother and a mother with very caring and nurturing and happy at all times to have a child that does a massive pressure for multiples and it turns out its also a pressure for women who dont object to being with us because if you dont want to be a mother i suppose then you are seen as less of less of a woman less natural less caring less nice less of a good person country air. And general a possibly a bit of a waste of space in the world of the report. I read today from the sixties and they asked people for 3 words to describe women who dont want to have children or women children and the 3 words they came up with were in. 96 and. I. Have one just they know many of you here agree with this concept of non motherhood being selfish reasons dont be scared they arent that reminded him you know. But ok it matters in the thick of love being a mother means losing my identity when im a mother and i stop being mad enough and i become the mother of the mashed up. There you have this is one of the little humans exist to be born grow reproduce and die we want to perpetuate our species or at least perpetuate our genes in the money because when we all die all that we behind our children and the genes we passed on gave me credit not there are women who do not have that biological clock i dont want to have a child because i have doubts i dont feel physiologically that i need to have a child and it seemed as if women dont feel it could it be that it doesnt exist them. No im not going to pull out and theres no such thing as a natural word we create meanings through conventions and codes weve established as individuals who share a culture a society. We have decided that the word woman means mother and a woman who does not wish to be a mother has to explain herself a lot. Shes made to feel sooner or later that shes not accepted by the norm or has no place in society well i dont know. I think the overvaluing of motherhood as an institution not of individual mothers because im not anti mothers i think it is so high at the moment to counteract the fear around what happens if you move women choose not to. So its back to the shaming and its very. Emotionally unstable teachers with little or no understanding of child psychology may have a permanently damage effect upon the growing personalities of the young childless women do not exist in novels and films as themselves as women they represent something they nearly always represent that women well. If you look at fairytales please look at snow white arkansas and look rocky distant if youll Cruella Deville theres no i dont want to tell nations that bad women evil record nonpsychotic women could be just as instant she so will them opposite of deviant woman oh so who is teaching this class so i think childless women are now hardly that mothers of that as stereotypes i think really what we need to do is we need to bring them to the middle. We are being told that they will certainly be involved. With their cat feeding cats to be ill be sitting at night guard in world war 3 in a room reserved world i was and i should say it might happen i dont want to deny it but it will not happen for all the women who dont want to be mothers and it creates a lot of fear within young women because if this is the only image that you have in mind. Get a job in the atmosphere why would i have to be an olympic champion if i didnt want to be the way to think i might have the ability the talent and if i trained enough from an early age i might become a marathon runner or an olympic champion gymnast but maybe i dont want that doesnt mean the same applies to motherhood i might have the biological capacity to give birth to rear children in bottle but i might even make a great mother but if i dont want to do that in my life why should i have to. If you do know once a child there are certain things that you will have to get used to people saying to you theyre men who were born a nice of you will share in she a mind yeah so i think its very tough to say about a small issue youll change your mind like if we were having a meal together and at the start of stage i said or thought think of a fun see a put in it will be all care for someone to say oh youll change your mind well over a big thing like having children you know how do they in your mind better than you so im one of the 50 percent of women who dont want children who have always known that as in no not since growing up sort of thing and it was just something that i always knew. In my early thirtys i began to question and i began to think hang on is it that im just missing something and i mean lacking and should i develop this part of me. And i realize now that with all the pressure coming in the only questions pressure that the thief the nom thats what i should be i should be a move that. We need to hear more people being on apologetic about it and not and saying not me finish not whacking anything i need. Im might be different to some people got lost others are different in so many different ways thats all. The. Things. And basically i suppose its something ive always felt i just didnt think that id ever had a biological clock or if i did maybe mine was digital or had to dodge a silly response and. I. Know my nearly been a midwife since 1985 when thats over 30 yes. My mother got pregnant when she was 14 i was about 15 at the time and i said to her you know when you give birth i want to be there. When the day i arrived the day my brother was born the midwife instructed me how to take care of him look at that to give him oxygen and place him under the heat in lambert it was such an experience to not just look around but also be a part of what was happening and thats when i decided id definitely try to become a midwife. Mr wardle is that i feel very fulfilled in my profession it continues to move me while i still get nervous in certain situations difficult by then being with someone in such a crucial process is reason enough. To feel satisfied and happy when there is that face. That is that really really really big i am more of a game is a suit a baby a very clever dont they if the question is why does a woman or a couple want to have a child id like to know the answer but like experience tells me that its often to keep the bloodline alive or to keep the soon name alive. Every going on. Says but its all good our parents aware of what our weight slim you can get i dont think so. I dont think they know good. Place theres a lot of couples have expectations and when you have expectations based on a fantasy you feel frustrated later the star says theres about an. Hour an hour. To hour. With me here. I love being their new leader at around 23 id say a 25 today the question is not so much if youre going to have kids but when the yapa said that implies you made that decision because its your duty i said. Its. The pressure that society puts on you is what we women internalize them and experience says maternal instinct. Is that the mother mother i dont think that maternal instinct exists as a biological fact there are women who simply dont have it as that argument alone should be enough to discredit the whole ideology of a maternal instinct the mother. One of the wizarding of a class act. As a yogic but i am a fiddle examiner where i have actually i came along. Or within their faith but again i didnt want children because in this world everyone is different but not everybody is born to carry out the same role someone had to be a mother others i had to research and discover a cure for cancer there that is when i was a teenager i knew deep down that i wasnt going to have kids yes that wasnt my role and i think if we. Have been ok if it actually not having children has been a handicap heres why the mothers of pregnant women for example sometimes say to me of course you dont have kids you dont know what my daughter is going through it doesnt own colleges have to have cancer to be a good oncologist now they dont. Get a minute i havent experienced what its like to give birth myself but i have other resources and skills that make me competent out of us deliver and to be an excellent professional. For the board well you are. Wave your arms. All you are all aware. Of the well that you only have to look at the history of women to see to what extent were conditioned by a society by culture by our environment one of your. Own forms. In 18th century friends mothers were advised not to have their babies close by the live baby cry that ada began to send them to the wet nurse 24 or 48 hours after giving birth. The firm did you hear women who were part of the bourgeoisie or the upper aristocracy found the thought of breastfeeding their babies disgusting. Their reasoning was i am not a cow shes. I. Dont even think your. Idea that babies were torn away from their mothers is totally false only that. They were not torn away women were in fact conditioned by this general discourse of society so that was when i realized that if this instinct did exist in humanity it wasnt a very powerful one less that. I dont think maternal instincts exist i think its all a question of culture a little voice doesnt suddenly wake you up one day and saying you have to be a mother. That sure a mother has the instinct to protect and care for her baby but its a survival instinct that all mammals have to go. There is a learning curve is that it otherwise the whole women with breast feed them wouldnt have to organize campaigns of all courses to teach breastfeeding and yes if it would just be instinctive allow them and he minister the only mammals i know that need to be taught how to suckle. And healthy young. Will happiness there and found that parents happiness and whom they hate as soon as they have children and and then increased again traumatically the children had left home. Crafts are still succumbing sitting there. And. Society expects you to be automatically happy as a mother and nothing else counts but of course thats not true or they have to be grateful and same thrill you shouldnt complain about the negative sides talking about the negative sides of motherhood is not desired keeping a job do as mentally mentally sick the meat of. The group of the good food fish to the both of them with. Out. The coffee so. When my book regretting motherhood was released i was really surprised to meet people who were threatening me like if i ever see you on the street im going to kill you im gonna beat you up you dont deserve your child went as far year after i had released my book that i thought about moving to another country. People automatically turn it into if you will regret motherhood you hate your child but its not true all the time i knew i loved my child and i dont know why i always had to emphasize that i regret the absurd claim stances of being a mother the preconditions its actually not so difficult to understand. Before i gave birth to my daughter i used to be a Photographer Im still a photographer took photos a different country and with these photos i would program a life and this man having to travel for more than 6 months a year in ringback the 1st 2 years after my daughter was born i continued with my work my daughter was a child that wasnt very complicated but still having a child with you is. Very stressful situation so i stopped doing this show is because of my daughter i had to change my profession in the. Theyre the issue of motherhood has progressed in some ways but there have been setbacks to this. And it basically been was it another case of historys pendulum of human death and moments when women have had greater freedom usually when theyre needed in the public realm in times of war and to meddle in sion economic crisis like this one however when these crucial moments disappear from the public eye we women are always relegated to the home again and i will tell a person and this callback always involves a child continually home. When my husband was away for work and i took care of my daughter nobody want to ask how do you deal with alcohol spent a looking after your child is it ok for you its like normal for the people you were looking after the child. When i was away for work and my husband would take care of my daughter he was very often they asked so how does this work your wife is away is it ok for you can actually look after your daughter properly dont go toward. A venture out she. Doesnt matter what you are doing as a mother its never a riot. The right wing catholic offensive of the league is this association that developed the idea that women who didnt want to breast feed were monsters. Theyre the most. Efficient and this discourse perpetuated by a tiny group of women has gradually reached an enormous audience. This ecological mothering movement harking back to eternal wisdom has extremely rough consequences for Young Mothers who want to do everything right and family yeah they can see course its a very devious way of sending a woman back to the home it infests on the to do home we need the families. Who have to move under the guise of modernity it sends us back to the middle ages and that is intolerable sick and super. The expectations are always on the other side i was expected to take proper care of my child i was expected to impress upon the proper way so its not cold im the one who have to take my daughter to the doctor i know one was in charge of picking her up from can never taking her to kindergarten always at some other and nobody expected my husband to do everything and mother is always there like 7 days a week for 24 hours every day and instead of thanking the mother and seeing much she does people still complaining whats lacking. In my opinion its easier to be a father. And ill feel quite lucky we didnt have any family pressure and i think the fact that as writers we both make a living as writers men are family appear sickly just happy that were not shooting up heroin in graveyards anything beyond what i thought of the poor less so. But of course east that source will pressure. People. In particular the way. They were allowed to work i have a daughter i had her when i was 19 i got pregnant at 18 i didnt want to have her i didnt plan to get pregnant or become a mother but i was pressured into having her by my partner at the time and my mother and therefore i put their wishes for for mine. I dont call my mother said if youve had your fun right now face the consequences call a former it was sort of a way of pain for having had sex. Something like that. d d before and i know better than no i threw myself into the role at 1st yes i wanted to be a good mother i thought i was obsessed because i wanted to make up for having been reckless. I began dressing like an older woman i stopped going out i quit doing all the things i liked i stopped gaming and i tried to disguise myself as an adult woman so id be respected d. Id like to have changed things id like not to have become a mother. Her job and its hard to understand how you can regret something that you had no say in the 1. 00 bill. In a long oriental you have a partner he doesnt treat you right or youre unhappy so you leave him you know because you have a career that you dont like so you just quit it but when youre a mother theres no turning back its like a scar its there with you for life. So ive suffered from a lot of pressure and anxiety that theres nothing i can do. Theres always a catch theres never a situation that makes everyone happy and. Looking at a home for the 1st few years i was absolutely a mother but my studies were the only thing that could save me as they started to take up more of my time my role as a mother dwindled out of necessity. It was impossible to do both things in part i started getting back my identity if i started talking about things on line expressing the way i felt out of course in fear. There but as a result it incited a visceral gut reaction in some people they were rude they judged me there are no safe spaces to question motherhood without people lynching you and i think child of the person are and they assumed it meant i didnt love my daughter or that i was going to do her harm and you. Know going to get tips i dont think that they understand that because theyre not you they havent experienced it. On the area. They dont know what it means. To love a person but not the circumstances that bind you together and care oh no. Im not going to tell you about the law might that mean that weve made motherhood seem like this incredibly romantic perfect experience that gives us constant happiness and satisfaction is that but reality is not like that. Sometimes women want to throw everything overboard. Some even question if it was the right decision im not an example were not told about that it isnt as innocent its taboo as. I would like us to stop deifying the mother the good mother with the sacred mother the holy mother. Its more complicated than all that and few of us can say that weve succeeded with. Their home and men for example can just refuse to pay Child Support for an hour be how they can work abroad travel not accept paternity and its absolutely all right but if youre a mother they crucify you and burn you alive like a witch or. A seal was something unnatural. Or if for example i put my career before being a mother im judged. Were not treated equally in fact men put their career 1st. To label mother really annoys me it grates on my nerves and it sort of doesnt fit with who i am inside to be a mother. To tell you i love my daughter so its really complicated because id like to have a different font all the mean. Ive got and i think at the end there are people who are concerned about the environment they say they recycle and all that but they dont know what else to do nothing of course when i see they have kids i want to tell them the 1st thing is not to have kids that are not in any horse is the most talented person the Current Situation is totally unsustainable but were constantly being told that in order to keep consuming this way well need 3 more planet earth. No there was a way i dont think its selfish to decide to devote your time to yourself your passion your job or to not want kids all of that is respectable i respect people who have kids but its selfish to decide to have kids as this if they dont see themselves that way they say its the ultimate act of love the most important thing in my life they say i say you just said it was the most important thing in your life thats selfishness and thats fine but we need to acknowledge that fact. If you had the feeling that the country seems to be getting a little damaged education in the United States is reaching a new hash one you citizen and sex. Youre considered selfish if you dont want to procreate even though the planet is overpopulated and one the i know since then theres been a Real Exchange before lucas and there was one when you think down nobody needs more children were heading for a World Population of 10000000000. Male men at the same time its amusing to say that im selfish as well because i have 2 kids im totally selfish show on the for the family release with a 3rd. One of our look at the woman who chooses not to have children is not only not selfish on the contrary she is being exceedingly was sponsible responsibility. I dont see at all that having more children is in any way a position to a Good Community based on solidarity. I feel i can assert ok i can give my solidarity to other people actually even better if i dont have a child you know if i dont have a child at home to take care of you know thats a selfish attitude would actually be to become a biological mother come to that the generous thing to do would be to adopt it all up to. Look at it if they have a that i think thats adopting a little boy or a little girl is the ultimate act of altruism we can consider in relation to motherhood. That that meant that. I would ask that i thought im now in charge of communication for the cunto urban organization i love my job because i come from the world of art and theres also a social aspect to my work there was a woman we design large miracles an organizer of an art festivals a large part of our work however is with her Education Team setting up workshops with people at risk from social exclusion with primary and secondary schools. To talk to us. Let me think on that and they think i had myself sterilized when i was 35 just over 4 years ago i relied on Free State Health care and a method called ensure it creates a natural barrier in the fallopian tubes. And i was very nervous when i went. For the 1st appointment i knew there were doctors who sometimes turned down a womans request for this procedure so i was afraid they would refuse me but they said thats where there was no biological reason for it i didnt have children. Or not in a horse. Last but i thought about the boy and women are treated like minors on all levels of society were extremely vulnerable in this case because there is no established norm in that not much like what you think that were entirely at the mercy of the cultural religious and personal opinion of this doctor there should be a protocol in place like this to medical and their kids to school men are treated very differently i dont know any men who have been humiliated or degraded or spoken to in a paternity arrogant way when they requested essec to me not a single one of the a lot of stick to me. And well. I. Thank you thank someone for temple for families when we hadnt been together for on i told him in passing that i was getting sterilized i knew it wouldnt shock him you know. He knew my views and hes very open minded you know this yes i mean we have your claim and throughout actually what he reacted even better than i expected by all young women. Because hes a company and before i went to the operating theatre he said i didnt mention it before i thought that but its your body you dont have to ask my opinion i thought it was very sweet. And i can think of another reason which is gradually been reinforced ive discovered more and more works by feminist writers thinkers who explained to what extent motherhood can in slave women for me it was another way of empowering myself taking control of my body and i choose not to have children why would a kid or your equal to any. Only seen as he did lack of advertising and the capitalist system have turned children into a niche market sales the old hit the market has been filled with stuff they dont really need as parents are under tremendous pressure to buy their children these things that makes them more competitive its another model of capitalism. If you talk about population control or where it is not necessary to have lesser children its actually in the western industrialized countries you know where we do need less such children because we have the ones who waste on the energy afford for those on the garbage its not the people in poor countries who have more children while the problem for. You want to know one that might define myself as an n. T. Made a list and i believe that humans are a plague and the worst thing for this planet and for other animals. Fewer people having children isnt a panacea but it might improve the situation when one of the question it get out more effort is needed. But each person uses resources and produces huge amounts of waste you will see it as it our family is socially aware we try and avoid plastic and such but 3 or 4 people consume more than one person as one of the. You dont know what youre missing is what people say and i dont think that is sufficient reason not to do something i mean i have never eaten host meat beanpole all married. Not knowing what im missing is not sufficient reason to do any of those things basically another thing as weve heard another thing people will say to us oh who will look after you when youre old now i didnt know that children were expected to be only paid to carry. I think if i had children they would be as likely to want to look after me when im old as a conservative government will ever another thing people will say all but you would have made to look. Now at those insensitive i think how do they know that im not having children because i cant help them and would say it to people whove got a chairman will illness. You just made to look me old person. They probably wouldnt. Do the things that you get to do with how it can be. In schools or for young people and im not going to look like children with bad. Astringent good experience and to my great surprise i found. Really enjoying where he waved through to kill any children and. Im not here kind of a comeback. Against mothers. Im sitting here. For more and more well be able to mediate moaners of our lives and our bodies our thoughts our emotions and our decisions our fantasies and our dreams and so i cant i must not see here and tell other women my to do a. Realm in the real question is is it necessary to have children without knowing why. Of women or for empathy then long before having a child until such powerful unconscious factors of external pressure that its very hard to be certain that it was a free choice this is yet the name of. The 5th it is on film of our society is totally fabricated constructed because that so we could all be different we could dream of a completely different world. But i dont feel theres one for lets stop having children think about what type of society we want and why we have children and lets call a strike a birth strike people lets stop and think 1st refresh is on the. On and on as we are women and we have a reproductive system that serves a purpose but that is not necessarily a womans purpose i think the way people 1st then women i dont regret a thing im very happy with who i am and where i am ok is that honestly. I love my profession i love working doesnt help if im not happy followers do everything for my child but inside me im on happy because i dont live my dream. You have to be happy and then you can have a happy child a happy children. I think that the idea of deconstructing the traditional role of women and the family unit is also very important if were to evolve as a society girl chaos in the heart and i think it improve society if we show more empathy more respect by piano and i think these are positive values but ive put it to most of. The not often to tornado people dont know your story they judge you without knowing what happened or how you really feel where they only see the outside one of the things that might save me is designing in creating things these are things that i really love down into may mean. Can be any woman who wants to have children should have them when you die but a big question is why should a woman who does not want children callum the net whos. Ringback there at the front line at contests. Sounds confident. Yet still under our. Battle against an antiquated gender. List is taking shape. Revolutionary. How long is their path to acquire the to. The brains of. The small w. Each stone tells my story. Of the people me build small abedi casing to abide by it and not too dumb to. See. The book and listen closely and i will tell you about who knows whom good to me abundant good news to me down the book i am not too dumb to publish. I have mocked my citys days for centuries and accompanied my country through its finest. Until the day i mean a vanished the ball. Is still not too dumb to publish. April and. The but. This is day to lean years on from god when the Global Markets slump as concerns or the impact of the kuroda virus on the worlds of collaborations grows more than 60000000 people in northern italy and are sealed off from the rest of the country as the government takes some customs and steps to halt the viruses spread. Close on the program violence spreads out to march in chile blocking International Womens day one of the many rallies across lots of america in the world demanding equality and then tend to the killing of women by men