A wedding well hearing tanzania the answer could be as much as it takes and the cost of that could be super high including costing people their marriages and their lives but why is it that in this particular country it seems that it is debt that is Holding People together were going to find out from my lovely panel here and well begin with doyle who actually you got married 2 months ago so how high is the cost of weddings in this country even a divorce i dont know because everybody maybe have gone by but my own marriage costs you almost see the 15000. 00 yes or 15000 dollars ok im not married and ive never. Been to my wedding but is this the average cost of weddings 15000. 00. Well no no. Its not the average its not the minimum is not the maximum because. The range of which marriages i mean the ceremony is right now it could go even twice or thrice or even 4 times that for just before of and what. Just the venue ok so golden godfrey is actually an Event Organizer dealing a lot with wedding so these are hard figures that you can give us ok theres a lady who had lifted her hand at the back please come and speak to me ok good evening the trees well i can be like a good example because from september i had my bros wedding it coasted along like the 84000000 or so around the same price that not yet on there is going to be like 25. 00 or 80. 00 well the big issue in the big is designs are different theyre very hospitality and we go this sharing thing so when my bro came 1st with his wife the god because certain background they come from so they had to announce the family then we had the 2 of fires like me and my other big bro in the parlance we had to sit down and calculate like how much does the farm has to contribute in the letter to the friends there the end we have not to say to the poverty but moreover before the wedding there were the wife the bright she has also to be done said to know the kitchen parties the bride from home to hear well from the chagga tribe im kumin jarrow so or we have a lot of tradition you have to go with a blanket you have to go with the beers you have to go with the but now knows you might you know we have bananas so the end of each you find a lot of pressure there getting after the wedding for sure my sister in law got sick on honeymoon 2nd there were no honeymoon she got sick a lot of money goes to their friends to their venues venues here are very costly then we go maybe to the m c u 2 coast i go i see theres an mc here he will be a very good example ok so let me ask the mc because youve mentioned him by the way muslim is a very very popular mc here in tanzania when he walked in everybody oh and hes. Was he expensive yes. Im ok so hes good and hes expensive but its all right if you can afford him you hire him but i wanted to find out from you have you seen the trends change over the years i weddings becoming bigger and bigger even and people are getting poorer and poorer. Than when i was a mom in different are you going to school to mime see. If you want to get me on the phone you know how to. Really how i want you how to sit in a funny port. You know what youre. Going to. Want to talk. To one of the men i want to be. The nominee what you get on at which im here to get me out enough and you know r. P. And human as a slave get a signal wasnt going to. Ponder was about. To know when youre going up on a be who. I was. Using. Horses was upon it you yes but even with the high costs people are still getting married seal. So how many weddings on average are you and seeing in a month just so that we get an idea of the turnover. Maybe 8 yes one man 8 weddings wow so alex and your soon to be wife you are in the process of trying to prepare for a wedding what are some of the difficulties the 2 experiencing financially or what is shocking. But you know isnt it a similar. When there is. A piano. Before numa there was a way to. Record. Me. Was about where the video was if you know i. Know what the. Morning. Ok i know i know i want to come to you on a study because were hearing from alex that this is not new weddings have always been expensive so what is the main difference between past generations and this one. Should just say the previous generation didnt have a lot of. Globalization so they didnt know a lot of seeing. Happening in other places but this generation my friend with technology so people west yeah i saw a wedding of my friend with these maybe we had a wedding planner and i also want to have a wedding planner but we forget that we come from different backgrounds and were in a country where they begin equality should say yeah the people were having and the people have. So believe like we have over 26 percent of the body being under the poverty line and so many people in the media. When you say like someone gets sick for 2 days we were for. People who are coping because they see a lot on instagram and facebook yes so so so youre saying that people are looking for a sort of lifestyle or a picture that you know for their weddings just go were calling you the professional Committee Member attendee because part of these weddings are funded from contributions from friends can you explain how this works. Well i think high cost weddings are not a problem if you can afford them i mean you feel you have enough money you cant organize even our wedding that costs 100000000 but once you have to go out and ask for help from your colleagues from your family members then it becomes their biden because then everybody has to go out of the way to look for like more money to but but why does everyone have to go out of their way why dont you just say to your friend im sorry i dont have money well theres this thing in africa especially in tanzania like i cannot say no to your face so even if i mean you know deep down but ill just have to like you know say yes impress you but still at the end of the day some people would still like promise though contribute lets say 300 dollars and end up contributing even less so then it becomes a struggle people have to see to correct their heads every now and then needs you know take their budgets down just this and that its a problem. So let me introduce another gentleman here kenneth because my question is why get married at all then why have a wedding why not just have a customary relationship as happens in most african countries i think its kind of prestigious because their wedding is is 14 way was to marry until you die ok so the buses boy has grown so we need to grab that prestigious without after 1020 years of us at it yeah when you try to flush a bucket all were doing were just of that moment yes we do know it level best this is there within we wanted so for you it actually forms a part of your legacy as a couple and you were telling me earlier that you were actually in an engagement but because of Financial Difficulties you want able to go through with the wedding can you talk to me about that one which was before was not a problem because you know. Because you know back then it was just that. Stage ok then after finishing the college you know theyve been known as a bit shop so i need to find you you can fit to my philosophy of my life the state of yes thats the way. It led to the maori ok can somebody explain to me which one is more important is it the wedding or is it the marriage let me speak to sebastian by the way sebastian and anastasio are a couple and today is that a new best series yeah thank you. For choosing to spend it here debating so in your 9 years of marriage do you feel that 1st of all did you get pressure for the wedding is what were hearing here reflective of what you experienced absolutely you know 1st of all waiting is a product of the network you have and the income of the couple if you take it out of that its a problem so if you dont have enough network dont expect probably a lot of support and if youre copying from someone else that you want to make a lifestyle or a marriage of a particular style then of course you have a trouble and this is what has happened many people across normal or its supposed to be your mother by your own cost but if you are you cannot do that you go to the nearby network and you ask like give me support so if you go to a parent and say hey daddy and mommy i want to marry and i dont have enough money please prepare for me a wedding of course theyll call their friends and this friends of contribute theyll make 100000000 wedding and from there they will start asking you to contribute back to their family and this is the biggest problem that i call it a liability of the family because after your wedding you start receiving calls come to this committee come to this pay this whatever contribution because we did this for you and some of this member you dont even know them but you cannot start doing contributions somebody that you have never seen. Before and they have so many kids come in come in come in by the time you start demanding this room is not your network it was without his network ok so so far we have established that weddings are important for legacy for cultural reasons and also this thing youre saying its insurance so just youre paying your insurance very well which means you expect people to pay for congratulations 1st of all on your pregnancy so when you have your baby those people whose committees you attended will they show up for you what do you expect that they will well 1st of all i dont even remember like most of them now because you know sometimes just a friend calls in say just because i can you be part of the committee with me because you are like charming and stuff so sometimes you dont even have a close relationship with the pope so i dont i dont expect them to even be part of my daughters well being oh my baby shower or anything so right after my wedding i had received so many invite ition cards to attend to you know so many wedding committees and my mom would tell me these people supported us they were part of your wedding comedians and some of them i dont even know them so i just end up contributing just because theyre way a part of my of my of my committee so its time consuming 1st of all because then you have so many people from different places inviting you every saturday for me to see that would take maybe 2 hours or 3 hours and i feel like its its its a bad and its a bad into everybody who is invited to contribute and id like to go back to noel because i want to ask you do you feel that you put your friends through a burden by asking them to contribute to your wedding. Different tune or because you know according to our culture. We have tendencies of helping each other i want to contribute to you also yourself with to pay back as one of my college to say may be the but is coming to my side because the process of marriage you see needs in lots of money dont forget about the big door you arent on a brother i mean the price of willing to pay back to the parents of the woman the money is very big they can tell you to give you 2 mediums there are other things including i dont know or blankets of the parents the congo stance in the us needs money so were not supposed to think about that but then the friends also you as i dont wish me to marry beer is the big but then you are left because of the culture and traditions we hear wintons on your ok so the wedding day is just the tip of the iceberg but before that theres dawi that needs to be paid there all these ceremonies that we talked about and its just a let me come back to you the simple answer for me would be well dont show up for your friends contributions or contribute what you can have smaller weddings or maybe dont have weddings a toll i guess im trying to figure out why have weddings a toll if you cant afford it and if it puts people in debt yeah its indeed a challenge because if you want show up to someones waiting people and show up when yours and if you want to invite people to contribute for you and there we like blame you and if you just say to do a customary thing they will see you as someone who is. Like yeah no socialist even lazy yeah but also many of the what we say so its like you i need to call you just leaving without getting married so thats a problem but again. Its also the issue that your parents all your relatives would want to show off to the france because they have been contributing to others and at the end of the day even the contribution that comes you wont give any jew. That money yeah because they get it they will come to eat their money and if theyve contributed a 100000. 00 and they come their food is not good they will complain forever what do you mean so they contribute and they expect the wedding to be at a certain level they contribute and they expect to eat to drink so if you want put be a way they contributed of about like 100. 00 my friend their complaint for ever so everywhere youre going there will be showing no fingers that we can use the ikea we didnt enjoy. Waiting yeah so you like have to really impress them to eat their own money that theyve contributed so you are getting nothing out of that money but at the end of the day you have to lift with that yeah because you have to borrow sometimes people borrow a dress i have ive seen so many people burrowing dresses in their Wedding Dress shops like this one you will have a very big body and sometimes you will fight in your yeah your marriage you have to fight yeah so this is what its. All right id like to bring the man of the cloth because i saw you in the background. Being a person who deals with a lot of married couples of event coming back to you after the wedding to say i passed beside me we need help or its affecting their marriage some more to go to honeymoon they just go to friends in the village and we joke with my friends not they go to college because they have spent a lot of money then they come back they say. You know now. I need to prepare. My be my 1st. In my life i would like to have a hot so let me invites the people to just answer a question for me do you know of couples or have you lost friends because you did contributes a certain amount of money oh ah ok talk to me about. I think about wedding here in africa mostly his idea is that people are afraid to lose the cycle that they have like if you dont want to be for me that i wont contribute i mean if you are going to be for me then me i will never contribute for you this is how it works so as i can say ive lost too many friends more than one and one and i still have debts and had to pay the wedding ceremonies you know on wedding oh there. I have like 3 friends who are going to be getting married one from november 1 december another the from i mean in february but how i can see i have an employment i mean to bring up bad i dont and a lot that i can contribute but also i did my friends to support me as their premier so the problem is people are afraid to lose the sake of that they have they think that if i want to contribute then i lose them so its very much a quid pro quo is similar to your experience you said you lost friends too yeah it is you know like you think theres any are waking up right now they do not want to have weddings that they cannot afford but we have our parents there will tell you that you must have this wedding because i contributed to 50 weddings and yeah they have to contribute to your wedding as well but in the end of the day what we dont realize is we have people i think are waiting with our folded heart that im coming i contributed i didnt want to do that sometimes i contribute but i go there really really angry and why do i have to pay for your happiness and sort things of that same sort so i like that question alex let me come back to you because youre the one whos currently planning your wedding good luck by the way based on what everyone is saying are you feeling pressure from your parents to hold as a specific kind of wedding yeah iniquity. New in a place. In a tad you. Special. Ones and when you get. Under seclusion of wind and even if youve never ended up when you. Anyone here who experience pressure from their parents in terms of ok i experience a challenge just morning before leaving for work i got a phone call and setting goals calling me and they say a better listen. We need Something Like 5050 dollars and some like a 120007 shillings and i said who are you you say im hugh downs friend i came through reading you see that challenge the pressure that theyre putting on you they contributed to your wedding so you need to to do something about it so these challenges are there i think think weve articulated the problems very well i just want to find out how do people end up paying for these debts golden. Yes. That its endless that its unless theyre always endless and. Payment could be others i give explained that if you pay i mean if you contribute to someones wedding you are committing them to contribute to us so from my perspective a client might come and if she comes or he comes with Family Friends or. Uncles and aunties and they contribute personally their you should know that you should expect that theyre putting an expectation to them and they show that i am committing to this so that it gets done so that when my child or i get wed youre supposed to commit the same in the expect that do we contribute as much to Education Health care or is it just exclusive. This is very interesting topic because some people thought they were there putting pressure to the wedding 1st of all they want to specifically where theyre not ready to hear from you or from in about us anything that does not hurt to the celebration there werent going to be the only things that they are sure theyre going to eat theyre going to spend the money theyre going to be into the community to make sure that the money is finished people are not being a you agreeing ok so when it comes to the important issue like a school fees somebody is sick nobody is actually putting pain to that ok so please let me come to you. Ok. We have to know that we all are even in the community to save something from us when it comes to medicare said abrasion so you should know what a void its in a more. Fully tease list how how much you have. Waiting. We should not skip it but also something we got less of what they put you in debt you say. I mean we should note a void in a cost. Yes please. In talking about the quality you can avoid it because its not sort of the people making the marriage even the poor people that make the marriage so thats how we perceive or how you need to be waiting 7 to be it depends on the course its a request to for example taking that number the Village People also they make the marriage and they said and they have the wedding ceremony lets not say the they didnt have the wedding ceremonies high cost you know the prepaid budget in that they dont say business hotness you think people who are getting into debt are just being unreasonable yeah. Ok you know i want to find out how we stop this cycle i mean for somebody the gentleman at the back though you have an answer already lets come to you. All right now speaking about my marriage and where he is spirit is spirit through how people contribute if you want people to contribute to higher if you missed that you get to somebody whos the future so if you want to talk to racists maybe its simple you can you can actually do it for his message im going to have it im going to have a wedding so im trying to make it to simple so as i dont want people to contribute so as i can control myself and then. People really dont worry it and then after that they wont ask me for contributions ok so there is a hack i dont know if you heard it from the back hes saying hes going to have a small wedding that way people will contribute less and he will be asked for less in the future. Yes what i think what we suggest to clients because it is our culture weddings are important debts is no ones culture them yes thats why we act wisely that we form our clients to choose wisely to pick what they need and to sort and to compromise on the things that i necessary look. So what is best to go is no income how much you have prepare a simple wedding with your closest friend and a. Close relatives and you can do as affordable as you aint come so the problem is that somebody has to start going to be to somebody because expecting people to contribute and you will keep waiting because he doesnt know if its enough for him and i was there waiting can i have 2 more pieces because we have to who yes. Ok i saw my name is alan rahim so i believe a simple solution is not to give in to people pressure because basically to this type of wedding say that christianity readings from muslim weddings which most of the time one course more than 250. 00 but if you decide to do things like involves a venues and not expensive clothes thats just you falling into peer pressure but then people like my saying here might not have a job if everybody decides to do that raise the balance you know i want im saying is if you can afford to do it then thats ok but if you can afford to you dont have to fall into peer pressure because what you see everybody is doing is theyre trying to compete i want to have a better wedding than the last person they can see this couple have lasted for 9 years but the wedding was very simple so you dont have to give in to peer pressure and getting too expensive debts just because you could have a wedding that doesnt even give up to this experience you can have ok and the final question is going to go to the man who said weddings are on hold at the moment after listening to this conversation do you think you will have a wedding in the future. Not in the near future but in the future yes. Ok and thats how we wrap up this debate i think we can all agree that weve learned a lot this is quite a bit of fun thank you so much for watching. How do you restore a banana. This is a job for master art conservators christian shine among. Hes worked on some of the worlds finest collections of contemporary art with many artists try to madames more than preserve their work yourself 1st as a creative consultant. Large craft and ingenuity. In 15 minutes on d w. And knocked me out. And called me primitive. They could. Never competed me back i am because of our africa update coming. Back im going to get darker on our heart for a very good note to our forgot how to look back to. The treatment. Oh my god oh oh god oh my. Oh my god in the Public Perception africa is now assuming the position for which it was always entitled to live their lives with it is a. Big clue to todays world. Historical turning point in politics Business Leaders plain wrong people of the. Making its initial flirtation but it was a strong sense of states of emergency sinks into chaos thanks most are going to split. The people threatens the. Love for our cars. The start of an era that defines our message to. 97. To 8 steps december 23rd. Place blame. This is g. W. News live from australias Prime Minister is forced to apologize for vacationing in hawaii all parts of his country thousands of firefighters are struggling to contain catastrophic blazes across several states to sydney for the very latest coming up Hong Kong Police crackdown on a 16 rally as activists try to call attention to chinas alleged abuse of its weak at muslim minority. And a young saved by at munich again