Number 6 on d w. People for information. Opinions they want to express g. W. Facebook and twitter up to date and in touch follow us. Home. Martin hammond has bipolar disorder like an estimated 350000000 people worldwide his greatest challenge is how to live an orderly life amid alternating bouts of mania and depression. I didnt feel so good this morning when i woke up i felt as if there was a grey fog in my hand. And that happens often. Of course. Its not immediately obvious that martin suffers from depression but he often struggles with ordinary daily tasks even getting up in the morning can be tough certain routines can help him get through the day for example meditating frequently or talking to others and speaking openly about his situation to close it. I think that ive learned to tell people are ok who i am and how i react and this helps. Sometimes i tell friends to take it easy with me if im feeling a bit down been strong business. In the periods of depression martin is often plagued by feelings of hopelessness emptiness and guilt. 6 years ago he was so depressed that he decided to commit suicide. In the manic phases he is full of energy and feels very creative. He explores the contrasts in his feelings in the music that he compares this. Person figure subzero many feelings ups and its what ive packed them into different chapters and they conjure up very deep or special meaningful moments for me with woman one of them is the evening that i try to end my life. So these are all feelings of joy sadness the whole spectrum of so to speak. The guns the scholars hold on. Psychotherapy and medication helps martin get over his suicidal feelings now he gets by without any treatment sport and breathing exercises helping to keep the depression under control. He is preparing to go on stage to talk about his experiences he wants to share his coping mechanisms with others though he knows that they might not work with everyone who is affected with bipolar disorder has to attend a forum for exchanging ideas and promoting personal advancement. Im very nervous but i want people to really understand whats burning in me and what i want to bring across but guys i want to encourage people to make the steps that ive made in life. Next year all of you out here. Through old white those lives by the way but there is still plenty to do. Along with his friend and manager max martin is planning to walk from his home in cologne to his hometowns vala in the netherlands 200 kilometers away the idea is to prepare him physically and mentally for the speech. If you dont want to we talked a lot about Different Things about martin and about me as well and then we came to a point where we thought that we had to go public and reach a wider audience that people should listen to martin and a framework should be created. And thats not something i want to help with. Martin has so many ideas so many emotions. And that means he wants to get things done fast but perhaps i can help find a direction if im definitely with them because. Martin is planning to meet people from his past as he walks people who know what he went through. So often isnt talking is one aspect and the different People Places and stories are another aspect but i also want to show people that they can achieve anything if they want to show off. d for martin sport is possibly the most important means of dealing with his depression it creates a balance between the body and mind and helps him prove to himself that he can do something. Conventional i know people who dont have legs who can climb as a woman here who doesnt have any legs and she manages to climb up i think were only is limited in so far as we set ourselves limits and thats a part of the depression to say that we can do something but what can we do there are days when i feel i cant get out of bed i cant get out of bed i have arms and legs. Just before he is due to set off for the netherlands martin suffers a setback. Instead of going to swallow on foot hes after the nearest hospital and the Doctors Orders are clear. Its an infection of the joint its bacterial so its in the tissue. Hes become known for being someone who will follow his own plan but the doctor was adamant that i shouldnt do it. Its so he said it was a very bad idea to walk 200 kilometers he said my body needed calm and relaxation. And. Brain hiness martins exgirlfriend he was planning to meet her on his walk but instead she has come to see him in cologne. She wanted to comfort and encourage him ahead of his speech. She knows what such a setback might do having had 1st hand experience of his depression. I think what was difficult for me was that he wasnt predictable. Unfortunately the ups and downs the car the ups and downs and highs and lows which change so fast. And then i would think. Ok hes again and now hes there that was the biggest challenge i that was there was. A few days later martin is off to the netherlands by car the cast is gone but hes still not allowed to walk. The his parents were on holiday 6 years ago when he called them and told them he was going to end his life. We felt powerless and santita and it was very difficult to understand little because martin also has a lot of humor and a joyful side. Yeah. And i feel it was really difficult for us as a parent if i could be and we had feelings of guilt if i think of them have you start wondering what you did wrong what did you see its not easy to accept the science will heal lost. The next day martin took a lethal mixture of sleeping tablets and painkillers you may have us in there i didnt care at that point i just didnt want to have these feelings i couldnt bear the pain anymore. But something made me think that i shouldnt do it this cant be the solution whatever the problem is. The move so i went to the toilet and i threw up. I was quite lucid from that point on. And i called the emergency services. Now martin knows how to deal with the ups and downs better. Bathing in ice cold water helps him when he undergoes a setback he tries to use it to find some force instead of sinking back into a black hole. Thats what he plans to talk about later today. Struck me cold does me good so i wanted to make sure that i did it one more time before my speech so that all the energy all my thoughts came together instead of being dispersed. Mind to everything in symbiosis so that ill be able to go in as calm and collected as possible almost. Now that hes ready he and his friend and manager max go off together to the venue where the event is taking place. Theres a bit of fine tuning before he finally goes on stage. Hes nervous after weeks of preparing for the 18 minute long speech. My name is Martin Hellman and germany we need to talk. Rather swim under a sheet of ice climb into the ring or go climbing without a rope. Shall i tell you a few more things that id rather do. But it doesnt its time to be serious. When im smart and my name is martin helen and i suffer from heavy depression i always start suppressing myself my questions my emotions hiding everything that makes me mean that its probably better just to function so i start looking for excitement to find a balance i think everything is a great idea alcohol drugs driving with my eyes closed for more and more time i put my health at risk sex fights destruction. Like 6 years ago when my depression was so bad that i didnt know what to do. So i tried to end my life as vital was the obviousness of my why didnt i talk theres a simple reason why i didnt talk to people dont talk about mental problems i learned that early on at school at the club at home always friends. But now im talking about im not going to stop talking. Here with me on germany we have to talk then listen with a. Thank you got half of it. Im so proud of you. How was it for you. I dont know yet. Im still completely overwhelmed by emotions feelings. It was great but i dont know what it was yet. I think ill figure it out in the next few hours the feelings. You when really fast. There are many enthusiastic people waiting in the foyer for martin people who also suffer from depression or know people with depression martin has given them hope by speaking so openly. Hope that they too will find a way of dealing with depression. When she was 56 discovered a secret as. She was born after her mother was raped during the bosnian war people with such a past are often shunned. It was very painful to learn how she came to be but shes strong. Enough fights for bosnia has children of shame. Next d. W. Complaints thing. How their dumps into the climate crisis. Scientists are looking to the intelligence of plants to see what they can learn. And their amazing ability. To borrow today. 60 minutes on d w. The last census if they dont need to keep it there you go the ball rolls for all the rats and home the 4th time can do nothing for the most recent medical member of. The family that the last dragons this word has called the whole 3 years. To agree books on. The war in bosnia ended almost 24 years ago but for some the conflict lives on is a bitter part of everyday life. When these men just a little but were not children of lard were children of hate it took me a long time to accept that the war is the only reason im alive. Children born of wartime rape a taboo topic in bosnia these children are now adults fighting against discrimination. Because