>> i had a messed up night because of that. i went on a binge eating i had stored and just made everything. everything that i had, just made it. ate much as i could and threw the rest away and went to sleep. >> while gadlin turned to food for comfort he took out frustration, simulating eating a homemade meal on the outside. >> ripped all my pictures down, the food. the closest thing i could hurt, i wouldn't hurt nobody else, so i just took it out on my pictures. >> gadlin uses his wall space to do the math behind his devastating sentence. >> i was curious. our the years, how many days do i have to count down, because i got a calendar and i mark off my days how long i've been down to keep track. that made me wonder. damn, how many days would i have to check down until i bounce