and lot of people don't understand that. when you go out and put in 10 applications a day and every single place just knocks you down. i hate not having a job because i feel like a bum. but some days i'd just rather feel like a bum than go out and feel like a low life, like get crapped on. because you come home feel like a piece of [ bleep ]. it is not worth it sometimes. >> schiele says he eventually reached rock bottom can tried to quit suicide by over dosing on precipitation pills. >> i was in a coma. i don't remember how long. but i mean it was over. they brought my children down to see me. brought my priest. father tom came and blessed me. forgave my sins. and gave me a clear path. and one day i sat straight up in bad, had a tube in my throat. i can't breathe i'm freaking out. and i they had me intubated. and i grabbed it and it didn't come out but i did a good job ripping up my vocal cards.