spirits and just knowing that makes it easier for me and i'll always say they'll never break my spirits because i know that's what they're trying to do. >> benny alonzo is struggling to keep his spirits up, but it is not due to the discomfort of jail. >> my heart aches and yearns, my head twists and turns. it yearns for the warmth of your touch, for the love of your kiss and your hugs. >> less than 24 hours earlier, alonzo appeared to be in court to be sentenced on the first of his charges. felony gun possession. he had hoped to see his girlfriend there but did not. >> the sentencing wasn't what bothered me the most, what bothered me the most was nobody was there. it just hit me and it hurt. kind of felt like i was abandoned. i was left by myself. i guess it's because me and my girl were close, fool. i really wouldn't think she would do that to me. i guess i got a lot of surprises coming up ahead. i want my girl to know how much that hurt for real. i mean.