would rather go out than actually face his destiny that way. >> reporter: suicide attempt, delaying tactic, whatever it was it didn't work. a day later the judge ordered ralph back to court. >> people versus ralph lee candelario sentencing. >> reporter: and ralph, bandaged up, got another day in the spotlight. >> your honor, i have maintained that i have been innocent through this whole process. >> reporter: and then a keen observer might almost have heard the jaws drop around the courtroom. >> pam will be resurrected. we will be able to see her again. we will be able to watch her laugh and sing and do all the things that made her such a special person. and in that regard, i put my hope in that future. but until then, i am going to file an appeal for this particular motion. >> reporter: for now his future is life without the possibility of parole. >> i had never had a weight so heavy lifted. it was --