fruition for the first time. and i haven't really had to deal with it until today. this place leaves you pretty emotionally calloused. they talk about -- they stress how important it is to be a man in jail. you're not supposed to have emotions whatsoever, but it's not me. >> dicillo has been in the jail for 2 1/2 months. he says his time here has been marked by a continuous state of fear. >> when i first got to the pod, being white and appearing weak, you're an easy target. especially for the gang-related activity, the heartless felons. i didn't even have any commissary, which was crazy. i was guarding somebody else's in my room and somebody else came up and proceeded to come into my cell to take what they wanted to take. i tried to prevent that from happening. i shut the door and got slapped. got bitch slapped pretty hard. i didn't fall. took it like a champ. for some reason when you fight i would think you throw punches,