>> i accept where i'm at and i understand these circumstances. my only -- just like with this, my only point is to maybe help it not happen again. but i understand and accept where i'm at. i understand that. i have a hard time admitting to it, because i never desired the avery's death, i never planned their death and i never physically caused their death, but i'm responsible because i participated in their death. >> right. >> so, yeah. part of me says yes, but part of me says yes, but. and -- >> so you believe lungren, the fellow who pulled the trigger -- >> i think that he had a desire to take human life. and he found a way to act it out. >> you sit here today, and i think anyone listening to you speak, and i'm sure you're not surprised to hear this, you seem