this is where ideology plays a big part is it allows you to justify your actions. >> i'm curious about your own story. obviously you were going down this road then you ended up turning back to the other side and assisting as as counterterrorism expert. do you look at jihadi john and say, that could have been me? >> yeah. i do that all the time. a lot of these individuals that are picked up whether they're younger kids or older young adults, i was there. i was on the line. i thought, you know i was being oppressed as a person. but i personally wasn't be oppressed. i wasn't discriminated against or bullied or picked on harassment by security services. i didn't go through those things. those aspects didn't resonate for me. for me i had a chance encounter with the taliban in pakistan. a single event like that those