casualties. it was seeing some of my squad members lose it. i remember some battle hardened guys just crying at nighttime. some sergeants just screaming in their sleep. never talked about it. i remember coming up on a big old dump truck pulled over and he detonates 20 meters in front of me. massive, massive education motion and just covered in the flames and time stopped. i remember the sergeant yelling gill's dead. gill's dead. i had shrapnel to my head and face. after that me, as i person, i was out. i couldn't control my hands anymore. they would shake really bad. all the emotions that i hid and