>> on the surface, john seems like the perfect husband. their family begins to grow. >> we promised each other, because neither one of us grew up with a father, that our children would have a mother and a father in the home and we would be there to raise them together. and he felt confident enough to take the test to go into active duty, ft. lewis, washington, was his first station. >> in march of 1991 he was deployed to saudi arabia. though he spends less than a year abroad, the experience changes him forever. >> when i saw him, totally different man. he was reserved, quiet, small, sad.