thomas. one of the reasons i didn't come forward initially, i didn't wabt want me to be part of the story. so i released it without saying that i made the recording. then the spin that mcconnell put out was so far from reality that i knew i couldn't fix it that day and i needed some time to reflect on it and to articulate it and that's what this window of time has been. >> so now after this window of time, you have said this recording cost you a friendship. your job. you got kicked out of your apartment, forcing you to sleep in our own car. when you thought out this plan to record this conversation or try to catch a private conversation between mcconnell and his aides, did you have any what you were going to get that would cause so much havoc to your own life? >> actually, i didn't have