search the house and not to hurt anyone. nobody was supposed to beat this man. we were supposed to search the house and it just happened. and a man is dead. the prosecution claims that i participated. that i must have hit the man as well. i was in a different section of the house. i didn't even know this man was being beaten. >> he told me that he had been suffering from depression when he first became incarcerated and he had a young child. and he had already lost two years with that young child and he was uncertain whether or not he would ever have a relationship with his own child. >> i asked myself all the time, why can't i hold my son in my arms? because my visits don't allow that. and my son tells me, daddy, remove the bars. and he tried to get his head through. i can't hold him. i can't cuddle with him in my arms. >> outside "n" block are the